Run the Burbs (2022) s02e13 Episode Script

1
Welcome to World War None.
(GUNS FIRING)
I told you it picks up in season nine.
What? Huh? Uh
- I'm going to go to bed.
- Aw, but you'll miss the part
where she takes on the Nazis!
Oh. Night, babe. Night, Hudson.
BOTH: Night.
(MUSIC PLAYING, GUNS FIRING ON TV)
(CAMILLE GRUNTING)
- (TV SOUNDS ENDING)
- Suit up!
♪
(BOTH LAUGHING)
- It looks so dope!
- It looks so good.
Okay. You going on
another rogue mission?
We're cleanin' peens.
(LAUGHING) Someone spray-painted
a bunch of peen-eye at the school.
We're going to clean up the graffiti,
and it might require a little light
BOTH: (IN HIGH VOICES) Trespassing!
Come here.
Keep the leotard on
when you come to bed.
(SLAPPING)
(BOTH MURMURING IN HIGH VOICES)
BOTH: To the streets!
(LAUGHING)
- Hey!
- Ah! Jesus.
- Hey.
- (YELPING) Come on!
- KHIA: What?
- I hate that fireplace!
- (TOASTER POPPING)
- (CAMILLE EXHALING)
Why don't we have fires?
Oh, remember? Because the flue's stuck.
Hey, you want to walk to work together?
Ooh, no time. Got to go.
- Morning.
- KHIA: Whoa.
We going to unpack what's
going on with Bieber?
- Go to work.
- KHIA: Good luck, Mom.
So, what are you kids up to today?
Sam got me an audition to
host a weekly cooking segment
on the Good Morning Gloria Show!
Rated number one in the country!
- (CAMILLE LAUGHING)
- LEO: Wow.
- (PHONE BUZZING)
- What about you, big guy?
Let me guess. Hanging out with Hudson?
Another day in paradise.
You two really stepped it up this year.
I'm proud of you.
Okay. That was adorable.
(LAUGHING) What?
WOMAN ON RECORDING: This is
Robin from the municipality
of Rockridge calling. Again.
Andrew, we know what
you have been up to.
Call me or I will hunt you down.
I told you not to get caught.
Bureaucrats can't catch me!
Free as a bird, baby.
Thanks, Bourne movies.
Well, she's suspicious,
and if she's suspicious,
that means that you're
going to Andrew? Andrew!
Jah! The Bourne Identity!
God damn, I hate that fireplace!
(POPPING)
I
- Treats for the spreadsheets.
- Oh,
and a homemade lavender
bomb for your bath, Cath.
This actually batch
turned out real nice.
Mm. Ah, spoil me.
You know it.
- Hey, Mannix.
- Hey.
Well, I better get to it.
Put it on my tab.
Will do. See you.
Can I ask you something
that's a little weird?
Uh, yeah. Of course. Anything.
Is Cathy hooking up with my dad?
Oh, my God. You're
You're making me nervous.
It's just a weekly
segment on a morning show.
Just the number one rated
morning show in the country.
Okay. So, should I be nervous?
No. No. You're going to be great.
I just want this for you so bad!
For us! (LAUGHING)
- Please, hold still.
- Oh, yeah.
WOMAN: Ah, there she is.
Hi. I'm Meera, the producer.
Oh, my God. You're brown.
Yeah. Uh, so, you feeling ready?
I think so. I I haven't
ever done an audition before.
Oh, there's nothing to be worried about.
Gloria loves your work.
Oh, really?
So, how's Xavier as a boss?
Things working out?
- SAM: Yep. Great.
- You have a boss?
MEERA: Yeah. X and I go way back.
She said that you are the
best lawyer they've recruited
- to the firm in years.
- Oh.
- (PHONE BEEPING)
- Oh. I got to run,
- but I'll see you out there.
- Okay. (LAUGHING)
You're working at a firm?
Uh, let's talk about it later, okay?
- Are you working at a firm?
- (SAM STAMMERING)
Please, stop moving.
Don't tell me. Tell her.
Please, stop moving.
Hudson, I'm impressed.
You've really stepped up your game.
Well, a lot of that is thanks to Andrew.
- Oh.
- Mm. You make a great team.
Though I I do kind
of miss Jock Vonderpham.
Oh, do go on, gentlewoman.
We'll send everything over on Monday.
(LAUGHING)
- Thank you.
- My pleasure. Yeah.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Cheers. (CHUCKLING)
(BOTH HUMMING IN HIGH PITCH)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Yeah! Buddy, I can't thank you enough!
Oh, don't even.
Working together is the best.
The best, man.
(RUMBLING)
(SIGHING)
You better bring up the
volume on this one, though.
- Yeah.
- Oof.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Find me where the grass is green ♪
I'm good, stop asking me ♪
I don't know about you but I know ♪
That I'll never let a
waste man crack to me ♪
I'm just trying to
make y'all dance though ♪
Songs so good I could
never get cancelled ♪
Staying in control,
Kyrie with the handles ♪
Chilling with the
big cats like Daniel ♪
(LAUGHING) Whoa. Hi. Uh, sorry.
I didn't, uh didn't see you there.
Hi. I'm Hudson. Uh, how can I help you?
Is Andrew Pham here?
I've tried calling, but
Robin. You're Robin,
and no, no, you can't,
because he's not here anymore,
because I fired him.
So, he moved on,
and he could be anywhere in the world,
just like Carmen Sandiego.
In fact, he's probably
with her right now.
(TOILET FLUSHING)
He's in the bathroom, isn't he?
HUDSON: What? No. That
that's that's a client,
uh, Mrs
(WEAKLY) Frantington.
(IMITATING HIS TONE) Mrs. Frantington?
Mrs. Fran it's Swedish.
Hello!
Oh, there she go.
Really, Andrew?
Fine. (SIGHING)
You caught me.
(CHUCKLING)
Psych!
The Bourne Supremacy!
(YELPING)
Parkour!
♪
(PANTING)
♪
Ooh!
(GRUNTING)
What it is? Is it the money?
Because we'll get there eventually!
Okay. You know how in the movies,
they write down a number
on a piece of paper
and then they slide it
across the desk to you?
- Yes.
- Well, they did that.
- Okay.
- And when I saw it,
my whole body clenched
up so hard that I farted.
I still have the paper
if you want to see it.
No! No. We are going to make money, too.
We're about to take off!
- They're ready for you.
- Okay.
I thought we were in this together.
Yeah, well, you don't act like it.
What does that mean?
You want to know?
You are selfish sometimes.
I am always the one
coming to your place,
and half the time,
you're too busy to work.
And I get it. Your family
comes first, but do you know
how long it takes to get
to Rockridge from downtown?
I mean, everything that I have done
has been to build you up.
So, yeah, when my literal
dream job became an option,
I took it.
I did something for me!
And I'm still using it to
benefit you and your career!
Ah! My therapist was right.
I, um, I needed that.
You're seeing a therapist?
Wow.
They're waiting.
Hey! (PANTING)
(GROANING)
(PANTING)
(KNOCKING)
- Hello, Andrew.
- Oh, come on!
Listen! It wasn't me!
It isn't you that's
been doing all the things
you told us you wanted to do?
Uh, well, look. You
know, it's just, um
Andrew, I want to give you a job.
- What?
- Despite your
Interesting methods,
you've done more this
past year as a citizen
than Bob's entire department.
We want to hire you.
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
(SHOUTING GIBBERISH)
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
Wait. What about Hudson?
What about Hudson?
I can't leave him now.
Can I have some time
to think about this?
- I can give you two weeks.
- (ANDREW SIGHING)
Is what I would have said if
you called me back two weeks ago.
Why would you say it like that?
I need to submit my yearly
budget by 5:00pm today.
(ANDREW SIGHING)
I know that look.
Let's get a coffee.
My treat.
So, tell us, how did Cam
Pham Eats get started?
Oh, yeah. What was that?
Well, you worked in hr and
then quit to pursue your dream.
So, tell us about it. What inspired you?
Um, can I just have
a A minute, actually?
MEERA: Uh, this won't take long.
Just a few questions
and a bit of you cooking,
- and then we're done.
- Yeah. No, no, no.
Of course. Just, um
What was the question?
You see it, though, right?
Cathy and my dad?
- Not really.
- No? Oh, okay.
Maybe I'm just
Overthinking it. (CHUCKLING)
I should probably get
out of here. (CHUCKLING)
Uh, wait.
I mean, I hadn't really thought of it,
but now that you mention
it, they are pretty close.
- Yeah.
- I mean,
maybe we could figure it out together?
Yeah, and maybe I could get
one of your café crèmes?
(CHUCKLING)
Okay. Lay it on me.
Okay. You remember that woman Robin?
I can't keep track of your life.
Fair. So, the municipality of
Rockridge created a job for me.
I'd be getting paid to make
the community a better place.
But working with Hudson
might be my new dream.
But this is a big opportunity.
But what about my dawg Huddy-Hud?
That's a doozy.
You should talk to Mom.
That's a good idea.
I should get back to the office.
Thanks for the chat, big man.
♪
Nope.
Appreciate the effort,
but this is filth.
- Hit me up with a mango boba.
- Ah, looks like Bieber
still needs to acquire some taste.
I still like bubble tea more, too.
I'll be right back.
You and Mannix back together?
Is that a ghost? Nani Ji?
No, and we're just trying to figure out
if Cathy and Hudson are dating.
Hey. Those lights work?
Nope. You hooking up with Hudson?
- Sorry. What?
- It's a simple question, Cathy.
Are you and Hudson an item?
Uh, no, Michael Cera.
We're just friends.
Why? What's this about?
He's just messing with you.
(KHIA CHUCKLING)
What was that about? This is my chance
- to reconnect with Mannix.
- Or you could just
Talk to her.
Also, who's Michael Cera?
He real manly?
Never mind.
I'll Google.
Whew! So, how're we
going to figure this out?
Oh.
HUDSON: Hey, buddy. Did Robin catch you?
- Yeah, eventually.
- Well, I got some good news
that'll turn around this whole day.
- Okay.
- I made you partner!
- What?
- Ever since you started
working here, we've doubled my clients,
we're more efficient,
and companies like Jane's
are actually interested in my services.
Check it out.
"Accounting ballers making dollars"?
That's us!
Flip it over.
Aw! Aw!
Uh I got to
It's a bit early, but okay.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Because, I mean, who hasn't
got in a fight in the back
of a convenience store
over a bag of flour?
Sorry. I just asked what
your family likes to eat.
Um, I I don't know. I'm sorry.
You you don't know what
your family likes to eat?
- CAMILLE: I
- (PHONE BUZZING)
ANDREW: (ON RECORDING)
Babe, it's your phone!
- Pick it up!
- What is that?
ANDREW: Babe, pick up your phone!
- Why aren't you picking up?
- CAMILLE: Um, uh,
that's my phone. Can I just have
two minutes to collect myself?
MEERA: Okay. I'm I don't really think
that's going to be necessary.
No, no, no, no! No!
MEERA: What are you doing?
Oh, my God. She was on fire.
Can you believe that? How crazy is that?
No, I wasn't! I wasn't!
- So glad that you called.
- Everything okay?
Uh, not really, but just
tell me about your day.
I kind of need to forget
about this right now.
- (BEEPING)
- ANDREW: You know
how Robin's been
trying to track me down?
Well, she offered me a job,
and then Hudson made me partner.
Oh, my God. Babe, that's incredible.
I know, but I can't do both!
Well, which one do you want to do?
Honestly, I thought it
would be working with Hudson,
but when he offered me the partnership,
it just didn't feel right,
not with my dream job on the line.
Sounds like you have your answer.
ANDREW: (SIGHING)
I can't hurt Hudson, though!
He's so happy!
CAMILLE: He'll understand.
This is a a great opportunity.
SAM: Or you could thank me
for not being on fire anymore.
You know, as as your lawyer,
you are welcome for
eliminating the chance
of spontaneous fire lawsuits.
What?
Uh, Camille? How'd the audition go?
Oh, uh, not great. Just kind of
in the middle of it right now.
- ANDREW: Why did you answer the phone?
- I don't know.
You give me confidence.
ANDREW: Aw! You love me so much!
Deal with it. I got to go.
- ANDREW: Love you, babe.
- Love you, too.
Sam, thank you for being so careful
when it comes to fire safety.
But if you don't mind, I
got an audition to crush.
- Uh, shall we begin again?
- Yeah. I think we're done here.
My name is Camille Pham,
and when I was 14 years old,
my mom passed away.
And ever since, I've
been remixing her recipes
to bring friends and family together
around the dinner table,
to create the moments
I didn't get with her.
(SHOUTING) Andrew, why is
my stapler on your desk?
- Because I was stapling?
- How long have you been
stealing from the firm?
- What?
- I can't believe I was going to make you partner.
You're fired! Go on! Get out of here!
Hudson are you Harry
and the Hendersons-ing me?
No!
You heard everything, didn't you?
Why didn't you tell me about Robin?
Because I just found out!
And if I don't accept the
job by 5:00pm, I lose it!
Well, what are you waiting for?
What about accounting ballers
Wah-wah-wah-wah bah-bah-bah.
We'll always be dawgs, dawg.
Go to her.
You sure?
I'm sure, man.
Bourne, the one with Jeremy Renner!
(DOOR OPENING)
Oh! Man, hey! Hey, buddy!
- You forgot your phone!
- (DOOR CLOSING)
Oh, he's not going to make it.
Okay. I need to get
another part for this thing.
I'll be back soon.
KHIA: Okay. No problem.
Okay. This is our chance. What
do you think her password is?
Wait. Hudson. No. Okay. Huddy? No.
(SIGHING) They're just friends.
- How do you know?
- I just found out,
and I didn't tell you right away
because we're finally hanging out.
- Khia.
- I'm sorry.
I don't want to keep
anything from you anymore,
because I know that that's what
messed everything up before.
You've avoided me all year,
and I hate that I am
losing my best friend.
(SIGHING) I miss you.
♪
Uh, I think Bubble Bae is breaking.
Oh.
There's this unplug it, maybe.
- Um, I'm
- Yeah?
(KHIA CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
Sorry about the lean.
You know me. Just keen to lean.
No. I I get it. (CHUCKLING)
I miss you.
I just I don't think
we should lean anymore.
I want my best friend back.
Right. So, friends, right?
- Yeah.
- (DOOR OPENING, BELL JINGLING)
What did you do to my phone?
(WHISPERING) I disabled it.
SAM: Oh, that was interesting.
I can't believe I booked the gig.
I can. It's TV. Everyone
loves a little drama.
Hey, you know I support you, right?
Yeah, I know.
Actually, um,
Dr. Handa Peru suggested
we do a group session.
Your therapist?
Okay. Let's do it,
because I have been a bad friend,
and that is going to change.
It better. Otherwise, I'm
going to have to break out
the fire extinguisher.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
So, are you going to show
me how much you're making?
Oh, I've been dying to tell someone.
(CAMILLE SQUEALING)
- Holy farts!
- I know. I know.
That's what I said, but with my butt.
Oh, dinner is on you!
I want to get cocktails.
(SAM LAUGHING)
(ANDREW PANTING)
(GRUNTING)
The Bourne Ultimatum!
Am I too late?
- Yes.
- What? No!
Ah! Why?
ROBIN: But Hudson called.
The job is yours.
Why would you say it like that?
Wait. Did Bob actually retire?
Or were you finally able to fire him?
MAN: Neither, you turd!
- ANDREW: Troi oi!
- (BOB SNICKERING)
You'll be working with Bob.
Co-heads of the community
development department.
Are you f-ing kidding me?
See you Monday.
(BOB SNICKERING)
This is going to be fun.
(SIGHING)
Who dented my car?
- ANDREW: Okay.
- (CAMILLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
Everyone, a toast.
It's been a big year. Lots of changes.
But one thing will never change.
We've always got each other.
Here's to work friends
becoming friend friends.
And to Camille's new cooking segment.
And Andrew's new job.
And Sam's new job.
ANDREW: And Hudson's new client.
- HUDSON: Yeah.
- Cheers.
Cheers, man.
(ANDREW STAMMERING)
HUDSON: Oh!
Stop.
Are you two
Just friends.
I'll tell you about it later.
You know what? I, uh, I have an idea.
(SHOUTING) Leo, do you want
to come down here for a minute?
Oh, uh, maybe don't mention,
uh, Leo's little, uh, moustache.
We're rolling with it.
- Oh.
- KHIA: Hey.
What?
You shaved.
Yeah. The 'stache was making Moby sad.
- He doesn't have pubes yet
- Okay. Let's, uh,
keep Moby's pube
situation on the down low.
I got pubes last year. No biggie.
(LAUGHING) Good for you.
Oh, babe, you one of
the wet bandits now?
No. Now that we're
making some real money,
I am unsticking the flue,
and we are putting in a gas fireplace.
- HUDSON: Hey, all right.
- ANDREW: Okay!
(SAM, KHIA CHEERING)
- CAMILLE: There we go.
- (ANIMAL CHITTERING)
Racoon! It's in the house!
(ALL SCREAMING)
Don't look at it in the eyes!
(SCREAMING)