Spun Out (2014) s02e13 Episode Script

- Good morning, Ms.
Lyons.
- Good morning, Mr.
Beckett.
Yep, that's my name.
- Oh, big day we have ahead.
- Yes, very big day.
A lot of public relating to do.
- Oh, pardon me.
- Oh, go ahead.
I thought they would never leave.
I know.
Happy 12th hour anniversary.
Where does the time go? It seems like only an hour ago - it was our 11th hour anniversary.
- Aw.
So, you sure you don't want to tell people about our news? Yeah, I kinda want to just enjoy this privately for a bit.
No one should notice as long as we keep our hands to ourselves.
Got it, keep my hands to yourself.
Yes, this is an exciting new relationship, one that I think we all hope will last for many, many years to come.
- You know? - Uh-huh.
This just happened.
I mean, let's not make a big thing of it.
Stephanie, our merger with Grant PR in London is already a very big thing.
Oh, it is.
You're gonna make a great king, Dave! Wow, that's, uh London merger! Wow.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Yeah, we're gonna be opening an office there, and we'll need a key person to set things up for a few months.
You hear that, dummies? I'm going to London! Bob's me uncle! Heh? - London, London - Yeah.
- Our news was way more exciting.
- Yeah, we would have upstaged them with our merger.
- I'll merge you right now.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- A little hostile takeover? - OK um - Hell yeah.
Oh, this is a great way to utilize my break time.
Normally I just do whatever the exact opposite of this is.
- OK, well, sit down.
OK.
- OK.
Actually, our make-out session in the elevator got me thinking.
Um I would like to talk to you about sex.
All right, but just so you know, my dad already gave me this talk.
Never have so many hockey metaphors been used so awkwardly.
I still can't hear "pulling the goalie" - without cringing.
- I would like to wait for it.
Wait for it as in wait for the coast to be clear? No, wait for it as in: let's not rush sleeping together.
And you chose to wear this dress to break this news to me? Beckett, I'm being serious.
- Hey, I respect that.
- Are you sure? Yeah.
Look, Steph, we can hold off as long as you need.
Not to brag, but I once waited 21 years.
- Whoa.
Impressive.
- Mm-hmm.
Oy! What's all this then? Teeth.
Yep, got that.
- Right here? - Mm-hmm.
Am I interrupting some, uh, smosh-goshing and rumpy-pumpy? - No.
- Of course not.
Yeah, no, I know.
I was just 'avin' a laugh.
- Oh.
- You all right? Yeah, yeah, everything's tickety-boo.
Just practicing my Britishese before I take the ferry across the pond.
- All right, well, we'll leave you to it.
- You heading to the loo? Taking a lift to the pub? Gonna go spend a quid? Aha! Harry Potter? Hey! Figuring out the work sched? Yes, and there are way too many slots to fill.
Whatever happened to devoting your life to a minimum-wage job? Well, there's Thursday night.
I can do that.
Oh, and the day shift too.
Double Friday, brunch Sunday.
You know what? Just put me down for the whole month.
Abigail Hayes! I am very impressed with your new-found enthusiasm.
It seems like just last Shabbos you were pretending to be Jewish so you wouldn't have to work past sundown.
I'd like to think that it's my general managing skills that have had such an effect on your attitude.
Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Well, to be honest, between DLPR expanding and overseeing everything here at Manion's, it seems like - I never sleep at all anymore.
- Actually you are looking pretty rundown and decrepit.
No! I can't look old - - I'm Dave's trophy assistant.
- Well, today is your lucky day, because I just became a certified cosmetician online.
This Coconut Grove Facial Intensifier is your pathway - to younger-looking skin.
- Oh - Can I put you down for a case? - Well, I suppose.
- How about two? - Whoa! I mean, I want to look good for Dave; I don't want to completely outshine him.
Oh, well, you know what? We got something for that too.
Oh.
And so, how many pounds for the penthouse flat? Sounds cheap.
All right, you know what? Let's just do it! OK.
OK.
Pip out, mate.
Hey, Gordon, dollars are worth more than pounds, right? Dave picked you to go to London? That's great news.
I guess that bumps me up to Beckett's best friend status.
Well, Dave hasn't officially said I'm going, but, I mean who else could it be? You? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Never.
No.
I love British humour.
It's so high brow while at the same time having more farts.
Ah, man, this is gonna be the best! I can't wait to get over there and taste all that kick-ass British food.
I hear good things.
Oh! You know what? I should hook myself up with some footy tickets see Chelsea beat Arsenal.
I 'ate those rubbishes! - Oh! - If you're gonna fit in as a football fan, you gotta learn how to be a hooligan.
- Oh, hey, Steph.
- Hi! - Whatcha workin' on? - I'm putting a list together.
Revenge, or bucket? It's a list of all the things we need to do before we can - sleep together.
- Oh.
Uh OK.
Oh, wow.
That's, uh - that's quite the list.
- Yeah.
At this rate, my 75th birthday is going to be extra special.
Special? It'll probably kill ya.
Ha! Ha! OK, well, let's see what you got.
Uh, give each other haircuts, adopt a highway, - come up with cute nicknames - Oh! I have one for you: Becky.
- Becky? - Yeah.
Well, you know what they say: go with the first emasculating thing that pops into your head.
- OK, you do me.
- How about, uh, Bunny Dumpling? - Nope.
- Puffy pants? Sugar Booger? - That's worse.
- Cuddle Bum? That was lateral.
Dad! Well, I think that's a bit too Freudian, but if it gets me closer to sl Hey, Dave! - Whatcha doin'? - Nothing.
- We're just talking.
- Talking.
Yeah, just talking.
You know? No better way to communicate in Western culture than giving it the old talk-a-roo.
Mm-hmm.
Well, hey, would you mind coming to my office a little later? - Sure.
- All right, and I don't know what file you're working on, but Sugar Booger sounds good.
Well, sounds like we have a winner, Sugar - Don't.
- OK.
- Hey.
- Hey! What are the specials? Chicken pot pie and a garden salad.
Oh, please hold.
Hi, handsome.
Oh, well, I just stepped out of the shower.
How'd you dry yourself so quick? Shh! Why, yes, I am feeling naughty.
- Abby, may I have a word? - Oh, what's on your dirty little mind? The cook just told me that you are assisting him with a catering event next Tuesday.
Oh, yes, I could help with that.
Well, I have you scheduled to work that night.
Ooh, yeah, I'll work it all night.
Well, this is exactly the kind of conflict I was talking about.
- You can't do both! - I think it would be really fun to do both at the same time.
- Abby! - Oh, I gotta go.
Someone's really cracking the whip here.
Abby.
You are not making any sense right now.
I think - you should take the night off.
- I can't.
I gotta help the cook plan this catering event next Tuesday.
Tha I think she's hitting on you! You wanted to see me, Dad? - Yeah.
Sweetheart, sit down.
- OK.
It's the merger.
It's happening faster than I thought it was going to, and I need someone there right away.
Oh.
Well, I'm sure Nelson will be pumped to go early.
I'm not sending Nelson; I'm sending you.
- What? Really? - Yeah.
Your work this year showed me that you're ready for this.
Oh! Score, Stephanie! Oh, you're gonna have such an amazing time.
You know, I lived in London for a bit in the '80s.
It was fantastic.
I'm gonna get Bryce to make all your flight arrangements, 'cause you leave tomorrow night.
- What? - Mm-hmm.
Holy crap! That's barely enough time to pack! I know, and you're not gonna pack light - you're gonna be there at least six months.
- That's like half a year.
- Yeah! That's how the calendar works, even in Britain.
Bloody 'ell.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Uh, I know we agreed to wait, but would it be OK to knock a couple things off the list in a night? For example, if we watch ET, we could cross out "Watch our favourite movie together" and "Cry in front of each other" at the same time.
Yes.
We're gonna kill like Let's move it, beanpole, OK? Come on.
Ha! Ha! - Oh! Hullo, guv'nah! - Afternoon, tired stereotype.
- Ha! Ha! - Hey, I love hearing that British accent.
Makes me feel like Mary Poppins is on her way.
Ah, yeah! You're getting into it! I'm just practicing for when I go to London.
Oh, that reminds me: I should probably look into hiring a chimney sweep.
- You're not going to London.
- What? Stephanie is.
Yeah.
- You are gonna h - Oh, I get it, Dave! I get it.
What? Just because I'm not part of your royal family, - Stephanie gets to go to London.
- No.
And Nelson has to stay in crappy old here! No, that's not it at all, Nelson.
No, listen.
No, you I need to go banger some mash before I say something stupid.
Oh, then you really shoulda left a little sooner.
Ooh! Well! That was a productive evening.
We danced in the rain, had a romantic dinner, and Romantic? You inhaled four courses and then dragged me out of there before dessert.
Oh, yeah, you want dessert? I'll give you dessert.
Oh.
Mm.
Oh, that's my favourite kind of dessert.
- Ooh! - Hey, hey, hey.
Wow.
I thought we were taking things slow - which is not a bad idea, you know? I think we should get to know each other.
Fine.
Uh, my middle name's Lynn, my favourite singer is Carrie Underwood, I hate olives but I love olive paste.
You go.
Uh, my middle name is Tully.
Uh, my favourite singer? That's a tough one.
Maybe if I break it down by genre - unless I go with Tom Waits, who's difficult to put in any specific Whoa! Hey, easy, tiger.
What's going on? Ah! Oh - Hello! - Hey.
- Whoa, whoa.
- What? What? What's going on? Oh! Right.
I'm going to London for six months and I leave tomorrow.
Let's have sex! - OK? - OK, yeah, hey, whoa, whoa.
- What? - So, uh that's why you've been rushing through all of our firsts? Well, uh When were you gonna tell me about this? Uh I thought it would make for some good pillow talk or a nice little postcard.
I just think this is something we might have talked about.
Relax.
We've only been dating for less than a day.
Well, it looks like you just accelerated our first fight.
Beckett Ugh! - Abby, you're late.
- I'm sorry, I was up all night.
I just picked up this shift calling bingo, and I Abby! You need five in a row, you crazy old bag! Bryce! - Just the guy I was looking for.
- What's all this? I was cleaning out my room, and, uh, thought I'd sell a few things.
All right, this has to stop.
You cannot - sell those things here.
- How much do you wanna bet? - Who's looking for a bargain? - No one! And your moonlighting is affecting your work! If this continues, I'll have no choice but to let you go.
Oh! How much for the university acceptance letter? It looks expensive.
Abby, you're going to university? No! That's just a stupid old letter.
Ugh, typical woman, right? Just leaving university acceptance letters all over the place.
You know what? It's time to get back to work.
You are right.
- Morning, Beckett.
- Good morning.
I gotta say, I enjoyed my elevator ride quite a bit more yesterday morning.
Look, I know I dropped a bomb on you yesterday.
I just I still don't know if I really want to go.
And I would have told you right away, but I didn't know how to feel.
I was confused.
You should have felt nervous, and excited, and and sad, and disappointed.
OK, I can see where confusion might creep in.
I should have just talked to you about it first.
I should have given you better instructions on how to take off my pants.
All right.
Tell you what Why don't we make a pro and con list about you going to London? Hm? - Oh! I got one! - OK.
Pro: if I go, I can meet Benedict Cumberbatch.
OK.
Oh! Con: if you go, you can meet Benedict Cumberbatch.
OK, con: it rains all the time there, so I'd have a constant bad-hair day.
Oooh.
Pro: I could visit you.
Con: lost-distance relationships are really hard.
Pro: this is a huge opportunity and you deserve it.
Hey, can I play? Great.
Con: that flat I rented won't give me my deposit back.
Con: you know pounds? Turns out they're worth way more than dollars! Con: my British accent, yeah, way jollier gooder than yours.
'Ey! You pop off, mate! Damn, that accent is pretty spot-on.
You deserve to go.
But, hey, do me a favour: when you get over there, become best friends with One Direction.
For me.
- OK.
- Thanks.
Pro: your accent is way jollier gooder than his.
Hey, Nelson! Man, I haven't seen you in a few days, huh? - How you doing? You seem down.
Are you low? - You know what? I am kinda low.
Really? 'Cause I am riding high.
Oh, man, I've been drinking these red eyes it's when you put an espresso into a cup of coffee.
- I'm having heart palpitations.
- My heart hurts too.
It turns out I'm, uh, not going to London.
Oh, man, I'm really sorry about your metaphorical heart pain.
Hey, would you mind doing a favour real quick and calling an actual ambulance? Abby, just a heads up: Dave will be coming down to speak with you.
You snitched on me.
You know what they say, huh? Snitches get ditches! So why don't you come over here and I'll give you a prison tattoo?! Whoa.
Bryce, I don't know why she's tweaking right now, - but if I were you, I would run.
- Yeah RAAAAAAT! Pro: the original Office was better than the American one.
Ooh, con: the American one was way better.
You haven't seen the original one, have you? - I didn't even know there was one.
- We'll put that down as a tie.
- What's the tally? - Uh, we have And 166 cons.
I guess that's it.
I guess I'm not going to London.
- Steph - Oh, yes! Ho-ho-ho! Hey, you guys have fun freezing your butts off all winter.
I'm going to sunny ol' Great Britain town! Peace! Ah, let him go.
Hey, I had an interesting chat with Bryce.
Oh, yeah, you mean Bryce the liar? Ugh, you know how much he lies.
Everyone's talking about how much he lies.
Well, Bryce told me about how much he admires your work ethic.
And about your plans to go to university.
It seems he thinks you deserve to have a career that you love as much as he loves his.
Does anyone love their career as much as Bryce loves his? No, nor should they; it's very unhealthy.
But I thought I could help you out with tuition.
Now, I know you're gonna say it's charity, but before you refuse Yes! Oh, so you're not gonna even risk the fake refusal in case I change my mind, huh? - Nope.
Oh, this is amazing! - All right.
But, you know, I'm gonna be a terrible student.
Probably gonna be one of those eight-year kids, and I'm gonna be skipping a lot of classes.
I mean, you know you got the coin to cover that? Yeah, I think so.
Besides, you're gonna breeze through it and you know it.
That's why I'm investing in you.
- Thank you, Dave.
- Ah, no problem.
And, uh, you might want to call the exterminators, though; I hear we have rats.
Safe to come out now, Bryce.
- And you! Oh! - Oh.
You know, I'm not gonna be able to work frosh week, and midterms, and homecoming.
Ooh! I'm excited.
Coconut! Thank you, Bryce.
Hey! Getting excited about your big trip? Yeah, well, I have 165 reasons to be, so Oh, that's great and very specific.
So, uh, all this talk about London got me thinking I actually haven't decided if I want to go.
Excuse me? Hey.
Sorry to interrupt.
Uh, I thought of one more pro: I want you to go.
- You do? - Yeah.
And that makes it an even 166, and you know what they say tie goes to the runner.
Actually, that's also something my dad said in our little talk.
Not important.
Anyway, you can run all the way to England.
Not literally, there's a huge body of water in between, and you would probably drown, and I would feel very guilty.
I think you've made a wise decision, Stephanie.
Oh, I actually haven't decided yet.
No, I mean about dating Becky here.
- How did you - I know everything.
Get used to it.
All right.
And what I wanted to tell you is: I'm gonna go to London with you for the first couple of weeks.
Oh.
I mean, assuming you go.
If you choose not to, then I'll have to find somebody else to go see Carrie Underwood with me at the Marquee Club.
- Carrie Underwood? - Mm-hmm.
Now, why don't you two just get out of here and spend some quality time together? - Thank you, Dad.
- Thanks, Dad.
- Not yet.
- OK.
Well, what do you think, Lizard Lips? - Ooh, not loving Lizard Lips.
- Dave! I am OK.
I'm OK with not being your original number one choice.
And to show you that there are no hard feelings, I am willing to accept whatever travel allowance that you see fit, big guy.
- Well - Actually, um I am gonna go to London.
Huh? What? Why?! Why are you doing this to me? Huh? I come in here and I give you the best years of my life.
I come in early, I work late.
Why, after all this? N-Nelson, could you just shut up? I really can't have my new vice-president whining like this in the middle of the office.
- Me? - Yeah.
El Presidente? He said "vice" Presidente.
Did he? 'Cause I still have the power to oppress the people! - Uh, hey, we've got some news.
- Guys? - I'm going to university! - Hey! And I own a university acceptance letter.
Yeah, I'm actually gonna need that back.
OK, but it's damp.
I dropped it in the toilet.
- Drinks on Manion's! - You don't have the authority - to do that.
- Drinks on Manion's.
Well, I guess we should get you packed.
My little crumpet.
We'll work on it.
Yeah! - Amazing! - What?! I can't believe it's our last night together, and all we're doing is packing.
Do you think I have everything? Yeah, I think you literally have every thing.
Ugh! - Listen, Steph - No, you listen.
If you say anything sweet right now, I'm gonna cry.
What are we supposed to do? Just stand here like a couple of big dummies? I have a better idea.
Hey.
What happened to waiting? - Are you questioning this right now? - No, ma'am.
- Hey.
- Come on! Dad! Hey, what are you doing here? Well, what kind of dad would I be if I didn't drive you - to the airport? - Oh, super Um, if you could bring the bags down and wait downstairs for like 15 minutes? Yeah, more like three to five, tops.
- Good to know.
- OK, all right, or I could have one of these crazy kooks help out with the luggage.
- Hi! - Oh, wow Just wanted to help any way we could.
Thanks so much for coming to say goodbye.
Yeah, guys, thanks for coming.
Now get the (bleep) out.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I can't wait to taste all that kick-ass British food.
I hear good things.
Yeah.
Oh! You know what? I should get some of that Oh! You know what? I should hook myself up with some - Oh! - Spit it out! This is a great way to utilize my break time.
- Normally I just eat a muffin.
- Oop! OK.
That was smooth.