True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e13 Episode Script

True Jackson, VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Watch how high I can jump, ladies.
Not right now, Ryan.
We're very, very busy.
How cute are these shoes? So cute.
They go great with your skirt.
I know, right? Hey, true.
Hey, Jimmy.
What in the name of all that's Holy are you eating? Hot dog sundae.
They're in the break room.
There's only one left.
Are you okay? No, I'm fine.
Not you, my cart.
Now, help me up.
I need to get to the break room before someone gets the last hot dog sundae.
This is a tragedy.
It's okay, I'll get one later.
Not you, my cart.
Look at this.
The wheel is completely hanging off the axle.
Maybe it's a sign, Jimmy.
What do you mean? You know, that you should get a new mail cart.
Yeah, you had that one a really long time.
It's pretty squeaky.
And the wheels are messed up.
It's like a shopping cart that keeps making a left into the canned goods.
There is nothing wrong with my cart that a little t.
L.
C.
Can't fix, okay? Come on, Emma.
Interrupting playtime, am I? Kinda, I'm next on the trampoline.
I have some exciting news.
You found your robot family? Ryan, we've been over this, I am not a robot.
Well, sure, they'd program you to believe that.
Have you ever heard of port galhoudi? No.
Is that a place? It is a very small province, South of the kiverian mountains.
Is that another place? Anyway, we got a call this morning from the galhoudian embassy, requesting that you design a suit for prince Gabriel.
Really? I've never met royalty before.
I have.
Who? The hobo king at snackleberry junction.
Yeah, I don't think he's a real king.
He wears a crown.
Made of onion rings.
The prince would like you to come to his mansion this morning for a fitting.
Oh, wow, I get to meet a prince.
Ahem.
Amanda, do you think the prince would mind if I brought Ryan and Lulu with me? What do you think? Sorta sounded like a yes.
That's what I took from it.
From my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown-up job I never really knew I could work this hard just used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messin' around and we're makin' new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's goin' down 'cause I'm the new vp the new vp This is the prince's fitting chamber.
This is one big changing room.
You could play dodgeball in here.
By any chance, do you have a royal dodgeball? Let me check.
No, we don't have one.
Whoa, is this the prince? Yes, he'll be along shortly.
In the meantime, please do not touch anything.
Those are faberge eggs.
I hope they're not expensive, 'cause I've never juggled before.
They're incredibly expensive.
Got it.
What are we supposed to call the prince? Do we call him, sir? No, no, no, nothing as formal as that.
Call him, your royal supreme excellency.
Ian! That's him.
Your royal supreme excellency, may I present True Jackson and two unnamed associates.
I'm Lulu.
Ryan laserbeam.
What's going on, guy? Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, miss Jackson.
I wasn't supposed to do that, was I? It is not customary, no.
This is a very tasteful mansion you have.
Mind if me and Lulu play tag? Ryan, this place is full of priceless artifacts.
I'm sure they don't want us playing.
You're it.
So, you want a suit? I do.
Great, what sort of thing were you looking for? Something hip? I would like a silk tuxedo.
A silk tuxedo? Mm-hmm.
But you're a kid.
Kids don't really wear silk unless you want pajamas.
I can make you some mean pajamas.
Shall I ask her to leave? That won't be necessary, Ian.
Wait by the painting.
What kind of suit do you think I should wear? I don't know, maybe something with a little flair.
Do you like orange buttons? I've never even heard of orange buttons.
I'm gonna have a little fun with you.
Something tells me you don't have enough fun.
Oh, on the contrary, I have fun all the time.
Tell her, Ian! The prince is quite a cut-up.
When was the last time you did something crazy? Well, there was the day I posed for that painting.
Oh, yes, the prince put a steak in my pocket and those tigers chased me up a tree.
We laughed and laughed.
And when the doctors arrived, I ordered them to put him in a giant body cast.
Oh, yes, yes, very restrictive.
Good joke, sir.
And then I rode him around like a raft in the royal pool which is filled with piranhas.
Let me do some noodling for a few hours and then I'll present you some designs later.
Excellent.
Ian, will you fetch me a fizzy water from the kitchen? As you wish.
I filled the refrigerator with snakes.
Aah! They have a fridge full of snakes here.
This place is awesome.
Check it out, Oscar, I tinkled in and around a solid gold toilet.
I'm going to sort mail and pretend I didn't hear you.
And you know what else? I got to meet a prince.
You're not thinking about marrying him and becoming a princess, are you? Of course not.
Good, 'cause I was.
Lulu, what about Mikey J? Oh yeah, stupid true love always messing up plans.
'Sup? What's going on? Is this the future? That's some cart, Jimmy.
It's not just some cart.
This is the galveston mail-pro 3000.
I thought you didn't want a new cart.
Sometimes change is hard, but then I got to thinking, "if I'm gonna spend 80% "of my life delivering mail, I deserve to be comfortable.
" That's 19 hours a day.
That's how long I sleep.
It's pretty sweet, huh? It's got a built-in sorter, solid chrome parcel guard and it gets 30 miles a gallon, city.
Any chance I could take it for a spin? You even touch it and I'll tear your ears off.
Mee-meep.
Lulu, may I have a word? It was Ryan.
What was? Whatever you think I did, it was Ryan.
No it wasn't, true said it was okay.
What was? Whatever you're going to yell at Lulu about.
I'm not gonna yell at anyone.
I just want to have a simple conversation with Lulu.
What do I do? You could make a run for the stairs.
I don't know, she's pretty quick on those heels.
I'll create a diversion.
What kind of diversion? I'll push Oscar off his chair.
Girls, I can hear you.
I think she heard us.
I'll get right to the point.
I've won every major fashion award except one.
The designer of the year award? Well, maybe two.
The design innovators' trophy? Let's not get into numbers.
The point is, I feel I've got a fairly good shot at this year's mif award.
What's that? Mothers in fashion.
You know why I've never won it? 'Cause you're not a mother and you hate children? Exactly, so you'll do it? Do what? Pretend to be my daughter.
Amanda! I've arranged a lunch with the head of the awards panel.
Pass.
Come on, Lulu.
He wants me to bring my daughter to lunch to meet his daughter.
Please? A hundred bucks, and I'm gonna need the cash up front.
For a moment there, I saw a glimmer of myself in you.
Uhh.
I like this very much.
It's very snazzy.
See, I knew you'd like orange buttons.
So what's it for? What do you mean? Don't you have some fancy party to go to? No.
A royal event? No.
A state dinner? It's just for around the house.
You wear a suit around the house? Well, I don't go out much, or really, ever, you know, for safety reasons.
That is terrible.
Don't you want to go outside? Of course I do, more than anything.
If this were a movie, we'd find some regular guy, switch clothes with him and sneak you out for an adventure.
You have any idea where you guys get your toilet paper? It's stupid how soft it is.
As requested.
Mind if I count it? Be my guest.
Nice try.
Shall we go? Sure, where are we meeting them? I have to confirm, but I suggested le pompanous.
That stuffy grown-up joint? Don't you think you'd impress him more with a kid-friendly place? Like what? That disgusting hobo restaurant you go to? Snackleberry junction? That's perfect.
Oscar, will you please make a reservation? Will do.
Just make sure we don't get a table anywhere that smells bad, like near the kitchen.
Now, if we're going to be playing mother and daughter, it would help if we got our story straight.
Good idea.
Okay, first of all, approximately how old are you? I'm 16.
And do you attend college? I'm 16.
Very good.
And what's your favorite opera? Valentine mcdougal on ice.
We'll just go with la traviata.
Prince laserbeam, you are looking royally ridonkulous.
Prince Gabriel? I'm taking a royal nap.
In your fitting chamber? Yes, yes, now please, leave me.
Your excellency, what happened to your feet? They have an odd green tint.
They do? Can I get one of those fizzy waters? Ooh, I did it.
I am the king of New York.
Are you sure you aren't cold? In my country, it's 10 below in the dead of summer.
What was that? We're under attack! Calm down, it's just a snowball.
True, this has been the best day, from the whimsical wooden horse ride carousel.
To the fine delicacies we purchased on the street Hot dog cart.
To the majestic street performance.
Crazy men yelling at a pigeon.
How can I thank you? What would you prefer? A fleet of horses or your face on a coin? Well, we only have a two-bedroom.
So I guess the coin.
Done, I'll have it delivered by seven horses, which you can keep.
Anyway, we better get back before Ian realizes you're not the one breaking things in the changing room.
Oh, not yet, please.
Can you take me to one more exciting place I've never seen before? Something you can only find in the greatest city in the world.
What do you think? It reminds me a bit of a mental asylum we have in my country.
How's the food there? Because it's not so good here.
Your table is ready.
Today's special is fried chicken with double-fried fries, served on a fried plate.
We'll take two.
And I'll take a fried chocolate shake.
Are they good? Not really.
I will have one as well.
Well, let's grab a clean table.
You're kidding, right? Yeah.
Snackleberry, this is bingo.
How late are we open? Does this answer your question? I must say, this has been the most fun I've had in years, and the best part is, I totally got away with it.
In what's shaping up to be an international incident, prince Gabriel is still missing, and while there's no reason to suspect foul play, I've got a bad feeling about this.
Coming up: A cat dials a telephone and you'll never believe who answers.
The president.
Way to give it away, genius! What's our soup today? Does this answer your question? I don't know what they put in this dipping sauce, but I can't stop eating it.
I want to stop, but I can't.
By order of the royal family of port galhoudi, I command you to stop dipping.
Wow, that really works, thanks.
You're welcome.
Hello, oh, okay, thanks, Oscar.
I'm on my way.
We better get going.
I've gotta get back to the office, I have a meeting.
Oh, actually, I'm going to stay out a bit longer.
Are you sure? Yes, I'd like to try out some of the games.
But don't worry, your friend Ryan is there in my place.
Why does that not seem comforting? Okay, just call me later.
Sure.
I understand you are the hobo king.
I too am of royal lineage.
So we have much in common.
Indeed, I command an army of 7,000 men.
And I live with my mother.
Onion ring? Mm-hmm.
Is that ketchup on your hand? No.
Here you go, ladies.
I'm sorry, we didn't order soda.
Oh, that's water.
I don't think so.
You're both wrong.
No, listen, it's very important that you make the right impression.
So sit up straight, elbows off the table.
Yeah, I'm just gonna take off.
You could have your money back.
You can't go.
What will I tell Doug Wilson? That I didn't feel like coming.
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Hi, Amanda.
Oh, Doug, hello.
Lulu, this is Doug Wilson, head of the awards panel.
Doug, this is my offspring.
It's nice to meet you.
You, too.
Is your daughter here? Nah, she didn't feel like coming.
Hey true, wanna ride? Sure.
Hold on.
So how you liking your new cart? I've shaved three whole minutes off my morning deliveries.
You know what I'm gonna do with all that extra time? Learn the saxophone.
Cool.
Well, this is your stop.
Are you sure you don't want to go once more around the desk? Nah, I'd better get back to work.
Let me know if they ever find that prince.
Will do, wait, what? Haven't you heard? Prince Gabriel'sissing.
It's all over the news.
Uh-oh.
Kavanaugh, radio the agents at the front door.
No one comes in or out without my say so.
Cool if I take off? No, sit down.
That's my phone.
Can I answer it? Not until you tell us where the prince is.
No, I'm telling you, I don't know where he is, but I guarantee you he's totally safe.
Aah! Whoa! I have got to do that again.
What do you think you're doing? Propelling myself from one end of your restaurant to the other in a reckless manner.
Yeah, well, zip-line's for employees only.
Oh, I see.
Then I shall become an employee.
How does one do that? Talk to bingo.
It understand that sentence.
Well, he's the manager, and you're in luck.
Actually, one of our busboys got bit by a possum this morning.
On the way to work? No, in the kitchen.
They're everywhere.
You flick on the lights in the morning, they go running.
I know a lot of people wonder if it's possible to be a top designer and the world's best mother.
Well, I think as Pumpkin here can attest, I can.
Am I Pumpkin in this story? Yes, Pumpkin.
Now, the grownups are talking.
I have a good idea, mommy, why don't you tell Doug about the time you took me to Valentine mcdougal's safari jelly Bean park? Oh, I love that place.
Yeah, I took Charlotte there last summer.
Well, what was your favorite part? Yeah, mom, what was your favorite part? Oh, who can pick? I mean the whole experience was so challenging and thrilling.
Yeah.
Remember when you threw up on the ladybug ride? I most certainly did not.
Okay, what are we in the mood for today, folks? Well, I was in the mood for some clean silverware, but I don't see that happening.
You got that right.
Uh, I'm gonna have the chomp chomp chicken? And how would you like that? So rare, it screams when it hits the plate.
And I will have the house salad.
And I'd like a bacon snackleburger with fried pickle chips.
Wouldn't you rather have something healthy, like a salad? I'm not in the mood for a salad.
It's just that you're a growing girl and your body needs food with some nutritional value.
I know how a body works, but I don't want a salad.
Well maybe get one on the side, you can just pick at it.
I said no.
You're being ridiculous.
No, you are.
I'm 16 years old.
I know how to order a meal.
I don't think you do.
Lulu? True? What are you doing here? Pretending to be Amanda's daughter.
How's that going? How do you think it's going? I'm Amanda's daughter.
What are you doing here? Searching for the prince.
It's all over the news.
Who knows what they've done with Ryan.
New York cops can be pretty tough.
Go, Ryan, go, Ryan, go, Ryan, go, Ryan.
Pretty good, huh? Never had a lesson.
I implore you to put the eggs down.
No, no, let the boy juggle.
You don't want to stifle creativity.
Go, Ryan, go, Ryan, go, Ryan.
Excuse me, have you seen a kid about this tall, brown hair, playing games? Yes.
Where is he now? He is in bingo's office, applying for a job.
A job? How do I get to bingo's office? Oh, you just climb up that rope.
Better take these, that rope will tear your skin clean off.
What kind of place is this? Come on, Lulu.
Up a rope? Forget it.
I like the skin on my hands.
You're saying you've never had a job.
Never.
You've done chores? No, my good clown.
I've never done chores.
Oh, why do you wanna have a job here? Honestly, I would like more rides on your terrifying zip-line of death.
Gabriel.
Oh, hi, true.
We've gotta get you back to your mansion before the cops find you.
You're all over the news.
What about Ryan? Is he not pretending to be me? As hard as it seems to believe, he must have messed up.
Wait a second.
Am I to understand that you're wanted by the authorities? It appears that way, yes.
And you're involved in some sort of false identity scam? That is correct.
Well, you seem like snackleberry material! You're hired.
Jimmy, when are you going to stop that? Never, Oscar, never.
Lulu, are you okay? What do you care? You can't really be upset that I wanted you to eat a salad.
Well, sorta, I'm fine.
You can go back and impress your stupid awards judge now.
Not if u're upset.
Really? You'd stay here and talk to me instead of trying to get your mif award? Yes.
It almost sounds like you care about me.
It does, doesn't it? You know what, Amanda? I think you'd make a pretty good mom.
Pass.
Hey, Lulu.
Hey, true.
Where's prince Gabriel? Hi, Lulu.
You will never believe it.
I've won a job here.
I am part of the snackleberry family.
Oh, no, we've got to get you back to the mansion.
They're probably dragging Ryan to jail by now.
You heard the clown, my shift starts in five minutes.
Gabriel, you can't be serious about working here.
Why not? I've never had a job.
It seems so rewarding, fulfilling.
Hey kid, here you go! And what exactly is this? It's a brush with which to clean the toilet.
Ah, okay, let's go.
And as it turns out, prince Gabriel is safe and sound.
He was just playing video games.
In other news: The mayor's cat is missing.
Oh, I've got a bad feeling about this.
I'm okay.
Thank goodness.
We were all so worried.
You were? No, I thought you were in true's office.
Ladies.
Hey, Ryan, where were you? I was with the police until five minutes ago.
Really? They arrested you? No, I was performing at the policemen's ball.
Turns out cops love juggling.
Hey, Jimmy.
Hey.
What's with the cart? Where's your fancy one? You're never gonna believe it.
I traded it to a guy for seven horses.
Hello, good people.
Gabriel? What are you doing here? I had a long talk with father and there are going to be some changes.
Great, everyone needs to get out and climb a rock every once in a while.
She's got a point.
It certainly has been quite a day.
Oh, did I tell you, we had to have Ian imprisoned in a far-off tower? Why? It turns out he'd been stealing from us.
Apparently, one of our faberge eggs is missing.
Well, I'm beat.
I'll see you all tomorrow.