Big Nate (2022) s02e14 Episode Script

[lamp shatters]
- Hey, where's Dad?
- Not making us dinner,
apparently.
He's been on the phone for,
like, ever.
- Oh, sweet!
Then I'm making my own dinner.
[gobbles]
- Ew, Nate!
Ugh!
Use a bowl!
- Nothing like
a home-cooked meal.
Ha, ha!
This is the life, Ellen.
Nothing can ruin it for me.
- Pack your things, kids.
I got a new job.
We're leaving Rackleff
and moving to Miami.
both: Miami?
- [retches]
[upbeat music]
- Don't want to go
to school today ♪
The sun is red hot
and I wanna play ♪
But if I get caught
they'll make me pay ♪
Detention again ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Math and social studies
just ain't my thing ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Rocking with my band
is where I'm king ♪
Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test ♪
- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
Big Nate ♪
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
- Sure won't miss
this Maine weather.
In Miami,
the sun's always shining.
Hey, maybe we'll trade in
this old clunker for a golf
cart-- or a catamaran.
- Ohh, I'm going to learn
to surf and post beach
pics constantly to make
my eight social followers
crazy jealous.
- No one knows us in Miami.
We can be whoever we want.
It'll be like being reborn,
but not so goopy.
How are you going to
reinvent yourself, Nate?
- No.
No, no, no.
I've already
invented myself here.
Mr. Awesome, remember?
I'm basically the glue
holding this town together.
[tires screeching]
- Good morning!
Guess what.
I got you a present.
- Rainbow sweetheart
bracelet ♪
- What's the occasion?
Oh no, did I forget one
of our month-aversaries?
- No, no, I just saw it
and thought you'd like it.
- Oh, Dee Dee, it's great.
I love it.
By the way, I'm so excited.
You get to meet Juniper today.
What do you think we
should do with her?
I'm thinking blueberry picking.
That's probably my favorite
Rackleff-y activity.
- I'm down for whatever.
I'm just excited
to finally meet
your best New York friend.
- You're going to love her.
She's the coolest girl I've
ever met in my entire life.
- That's g-- uh, um, what?
- So then I tells him, that's
my elbow skin you're pinching.
- [laughs]
- Huh?
- [groans]
I have horrible news.
- Your dad is dating Godfrey?
- Worse!
- You're dating Mrs. Godfrey?
[laughs]
- I'm moving to Florida.
[all gasp]
- Why?
- Oh, no!
- Alligator country?
- Yeah.
My dad got a job in Miami.
[all gasp]
- Ugh, moving's rough.
You got to start from square
one to find your place.
When do you have to leave?
- Three days.
- No!
You'll miss my birthday party.
I'm doing a botany theme,
and it's BYOB!
Bring Your Own Bonsai.
- [gasps]
You'll miss the spring musical!
- You'll miss baseball season.
You'll miss everything.
- [groans]
I know!
Don't rub it in.
- Why so glum, my man?
- Principal Nichols, I--
I-- I have some news
that's going to devastate you.
I'm moving.
This is my last week at PS 38.
- [clears throat] Well, I sure
am sorry to hear that, Nate.
I'll miss your lively spirit.
[snickers]
Sorry.
I smile when I'm sad.
Laughing through the pain.
Tears of a clown.
Know what I'm saying?
[laughs]
- I'm free of that boy!
- Free at last!
- Hey, thanks for coming
to Scoopsies, guys.
[Quiet Riot's
"Cum On Feel The Noize"]
- [gasps]
- Come on feel the noise ♪
Girls rock your boys ♪
- Juniper's in the house!
Hey, Junie.
- You look different, Ames!
Older or something.
- Ha-ha, nah.
Come meet the gang.
Nate, Francis, Teddy.
And this is my amazing
girlfriend Dee Dee.
- Hi!
It's so great
to finally meet you.
- I'm stoked to meet you guys!
What are we having?
- Everything.
You got to try the strawberry.
It's the best flavor.
- [laughs]
Strawberry?
That's so basic.
You used to be all about acai
and fair trade rice cream.
Your palate must
have disintegrated
from living in the 'burbs.
- Oh, please.
My palate tingles
with sophistication.
I just know how to make do
with what they've got here.
- [sobbing]
Goodbye, Mocha Loca.
So long, Blueberry Mechanical.
Farewell,
Flapple Jacks McFlim-Flong.
- I'm sure they have
ice cream in Miami, Nate.
But if not, you'll just
have to come back and visit.
- I don't want to visit.
I want to live my whole
life as a Rackleffian.
I can't hit all the classic
Rackleffian milestones
in Miami.
- What if we go around
town and reenact all
your Rackleffian milestones?
Today!
- Oh, this will be fun.
You'll get to see
all of Rackleff.
- Oh, that's actually
not a bad idea.
To my rightful teen
years and beyond!
I want to live
as a Rackleffian ♪
Even when I am an old man ♪
Only the awesome
are built to withstand ♪
The life cycle
of a Rackleffian ♪
Now, what is next in the
life cycle of a Rackleffian? ♪
You'd get BO, learn to drive,
grow hipster facial hair ♪
Attend a local college,
visit a job fair ♪
Be told you have
no prospects ♪
So you work at Scoopsies ♪
And return to college
later for a business degree ♪
Get married, start a family ♪
Go bald, grow a ponytail ♪
- [screams]
Experience a midlife crisis ♪
Spend a night in jail ♪
Learn an obscure instrument ♪
Like theremin or fife ♪
Get booted from your
house by your fed-up wife ♪
You'd start fresh and
purchase a rhinoceros farm ♪
Accidentally leave
the gate open ♪
And cause horrific harm ♪
- Sorry!
- Develop a concerning rash ♪
Grow convinced
that you are dying ♪
Discover it was
just a jelly donut ♪
And wish you were lying
Gross ♪
- You'd get
a pilot's license ♪
But on your first
and last descent ♪
You'd crashed your plane
into PS 38's soft cement ♪
You'd be buried next to ♪
Rackleff founder Rutherford
Rackleff's cousin Todd ♪
When local kids pass
by your tombstone ♪
They'd smile and nod ♪
[together]
And say ♪
all: I want to live
as a Rackleffian ♪
Even when I am an old man ♪
both: Or lady ♪
all: Only the awesome are
built to withstand ♪
The life cycle
of a Rackleffian ♪
Ooh ♪
- Yeah!
Ahh!
- Well, that was just--
sad.
And you like it here?
- Yeah.
No, I mean, obviously,
I don't like it here.
- OK, OK, guys,
testimonial time.
Say a few glowing words
about yours truly.
Talk about
all the ways I've made
your life immeasurably better.
- Nate Wright
was no brain trust.
But who cares?
I mean, my man was dope.
He was the number two prankster
at PS 38 rivaled only by moi.
What he lacked in finesse,
oh, he made up
for in property damage.
- Hit it, Dee Dee.
- If I must.
Nate came.
He saw.
He broke a bunch
of stuff, he died.
Who cares?
Because he's from Rackleff--
not somewhere cool,
like New York.
The end.
Francis?
- Um, Nate was my best friend,
ever, like since kindergarten.
He pushed me outside
my comfort zone
and almost got me killed
on multiple occasions.
[nervous chuckle]
Yeah.
I'm done.
Anyone else?
- Nate Wright was a miscreant!
A troublemaker!
He was a walking toadstool
with eyes that plagued me.
- Nate was a turd burrito.
- He was a scofflaw!
A numbskull.
A nincompoop.
- I didn't know the guy,
but I didn't like him.
- [gasps] I can't be
remembered like this!
- Hey, hey,
what's that you say? ♪
Just two days
till moving day ♪
- [giggles]
- Hey, Dad,
do we have any candy?
I want to put something
in these thank you cards
I'm making for my teachers.
- You leaving will
be gift enough.
- Oh, Ellen.
I'm sure that teachers
and students alike
will miss Nate's shenanigans.
- Yeah, well that's just it!
I don't want to be remembered
as a jerk miscreant
or as a turd burrito.
I want this whole
town to miss me.
I want to enhance
people's lives,
make Rackleff a better place.
[cackling]
Hey, your money's no good here.
Happy to help.
Who's next?
[baby cries]
Sit down.
Take a load off.
Parenthood is a full-time job.
I'm Nate Wright, by the way.
[chuckles]
Yeah!
[baby screams]
[swing clangs]
- Ohh! Ahh!
- Where have all
the good men gone ♪
- [wailing]
Please enjoy this rendering
of me made out of bacon.
[together]
Ooh!
- [snickers]
- [screams]
- A monster!
Save the child!
- [screeches]
- I need a hero ♪
I'm holding out for a hero ♪
Till the end of the night ♪
- Yeah!
- You're amazing!
[all clamoring]
[laughter]
- I'm so stoked
you get to see PS 38.
I can't believe
Nichols is letting
you sit in on my classes.
- And I can't believe you're
wearing beaded jewelry now.
- Oh, uh, my mom
gave me this bracelet.
It's so cheesy, right?
[glugging]
- Hey, hey, Ms. Godfrey,
I made this for you.
[cat meows]
- [grunts]
- Ahh!
- Uh-huh.
Well let me just hazard a
guess on this one, Mr. Man.
The feline
is rigged to explode.
- No!
No, no, no, no, no,
no, Ms. Godfrey.
You've taught me so much,
and I'm so grateful.
- [whimpering]
- Have I?
Have I really made an impact
on the most challenging
student of my career?
Has the summit of ignorance
known as Nate Wright
finally been scaled?
- Umyes?
- Why, I feel reborn.
I feel-- well, can it be-- joy!
Whoo-hoo!
Baby, come on.
- [grunts]
Hmm.
What exactly do you
think you're up to?
- Listen, I want
to apologize for how I've
treated you all these years.
It was immature.
I was jealous of your
superior brainpower.
And frankly, I wish that I
were half as smart as you.
- [mumbling]
Oh, my goodness!
Nate Wright is hugging me.
Don't just stand
there like an idiot.
You have to think of something.
But what?
Think, Gina.
Think, think, think!
[screaming]
Ugh!
- Oh, hey, Randy.
- What do you want, turdler?
- Ahh!
- I made you cookies
shaped like eyeballs.
- Eyeballs
are my favorite food.
- How--
how did you know?
- Look at me.
I listen.
I care about you, Randy.
I care about you so much.
- Gee.
If you're going
to be this nice to me,
then I have to be
nice to people, too--
but not now, obviously.
- Oh, well, namaste, Rad-sauce.
- [snickers]
- [humming]
[bathtub clangs]
- [screeches]
- Augh!
- [screeching]
- River Hudson the of out
pulled get this did-ly?
- [laughs]
Right?
Grossly so know I.
- I get it.
I totally get it now.
You're saying something
about the Hudson River.
Right?
- Can we focus on trying
to swallow this Salisbury
Seaweed, please?
Your cuckoo private language
thing is getting annoying.
- Sorry, Teddy.
We'll stop.
- Seriously?
Who even are you?
People used to get
so annoyed when
we talked "Amy-per,"
but Amy would
always tell them to shove it!
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, shove it, Teddy.
Grade fourthly
in time that remember?
- [gasps]
[laughter]
- Ugh!
- [gasps]
- Ow.
[all cheering]
[all growling]
[both screeching]
- Ohh-ohh-ohh.
[burps]
- Whoa, Nate.
How'd you get all this pizza?
- Senor Chang gave
it to me as a thank you
for detailing his car.
People get so generous
when you're nice to them.
I mean, it's crazy.
- Oh!
- Wait!
[laughter]
- [groans]
How is it only Thursday?
I can't believe we have to
come back here tomorrow.
- How is it already Thursday?
I can't believe I've only
got one more day here.
You guys are coming
over today, right?
I don't want to miss
a minute with any of you.
- [giggles] Thanks again
for the puppy, Nate.
- Nate, this sweater
you knit me is so dope.
[all clamoring]
- Oh, thank you.
Thank you all.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, you know, I've
done so much in Rackleff.
I've really made my mark.
But the most important thing
about Rackleff is the people.
It's you guys.
[loud rumbling]
- Ahh!
- Is the ground moving?
- I'm going to miss you all
so much, even though I will
always live here forever--
in your hearts.
- Uh, the ground
is definitely moving.
- You know, you never
really leave a place.
You see it in--
- OK, Eva Peron.
- Thank you!
- Guys, um,
are we just going to ignore
what feels like an
unprecedented seismic event?
- You just feel it
right in your heart.
- [sighs]
Apparently so.
- [burps]
- Ahh!
- Your house is so cute.
It's like a crumbling rustic
cabin in a cable rom-com.
- [sighs]
OK.
What do we have here?
It's my dad's big
Miami contract.
- Is your dad going
to work as a proofreader?
Because that's not
how you spell "Miami."
- "62 Orchard Lane."
Rackleff?
You guys want to
take a road trip?
- Road trip!
[tires screeching]
- Don't road trips
normally involve a car?
- Oh, hey, the blueberry
farm is just down the road.
Let's go picking later.
- That's really a thing?
New Yorkers picking
blueberries at bodegas.
- [chuckle]
Yeah, ew.
What am I, some kind of farmer?
- I thought you
wanted to show Juni--
- Hey, look at that.
62 Orchard Lane.
We're here.
[lotion squelching]
- [mumbles]
- Oh.
[eerie music]
- Ahh!
- Are these root
vegetables wearing clothes?
- [gasps] Is this heaven?
- People pay $10 for a potato
because someone added eyes?
That's steep,
even by New York standards.
- Technically,
all potatoes have eyes.
- Uh, yeah, but they
don't all have 'staches!
both: Ahh!
- Welcome to My Yammy,
where we craft
fully biodegradable
low-maintenance companions
out of yams and other tubers.
Whoo!
[laughs]
Nailed it.
- Wha? Huh?
- Como?
- What's a tuber?
- Oh, man.
My boss explains it
better, but he ran off
to that emergency town
hall about how Rackleff's
fallin' into shambles.
He's really
into civic engagement.
- What does this place
have to do with my dad's
job in Miami, Florida?
- [laughs]
Not Florida, man.
It's a play on words.
"My Yammy."
Look at his little face.
You get it?
'Cause it's a yam, man.
- OK, OK, OK.
Are you telling me
my dad is working here?
In this building right
here, in Rackleff?
- Yeah,
sure am looking forward
to him helping me
lace up the corsets
on our Victorian Spuds line.
I got fat fingers.
It's genetical.
- Guys, do you know
what this means?
I'm not moving!
Ha-ha-ha!
[laughter]
My dad is just a fool!
I'm not actually moving.
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Mwah! Mwah!
[cash register dings]
- Whoa, you mashed,
you pay cash.
All right?
- I was lying on the grass
of Sunday morning ♪
Of last week ♪
Indulging
in my self-defeat ♪
My mind was thugged
all laced and bugged ♪
All twisted wrong and beat ♪
- Oh, sorry, Nate.
I'm late for the
emergency town hall.
- Rackleff is the greatest
town in the world,
and I get to stay here!
Well, hello there, neighbor.
- [chittering]
That's new.
- Is that normal?
- [gasps]
[dramatic music]
[birds squawking]
- Yeah, no, definitely not.
[hammer pounding]
- Ew.
- You guys,
I'm getting freaked out.
- [gasps]
- What is happening
to Rackleff?
- Something seriously wack!
[siren wailing]
- OK, hurry home, kids.
It's not safe out here.
- Do you know
what's going on, Officer?
- There's a town hall going
on right now about it.
Some scientist is claiming
that someone in town
isn't acting like
themselves and is turning
Rackleff into Wackleff.
[laughs]
You get it, kids?
It's a cop joke.
I don't know.
I don't buy the
whole human behavior
has an effect on stuff.
My guess, it's lizard people.
Ahh!
- Nate, I hate to say this, but
I got to follow the science.
I think this is
happening because of you.
- No way.
I've been doing good, remember?
[gurgles]
- [groans]
- That's Francis's point, brah.
You're usually a major pain
in everyone's backside.
This week,
you're doing the opposite.
And look what's happening!
[tree thuds]
- That was not my fault.
- Don't worry, guys.
I've got this.
[tires squealing]
both: Ahh!
- Rainbow sweetheart
bracelet ♪
- That was killer!
- Very impressive.
- Whoa, you lost your bracelet.
- Huh?
- Ha, can you believe her
mom bought her that thing?
Everyone knows that Amy hates
that hokey craft fair style.
- Um--
- Oh, you do?
[lightning cracks]
- Ahh!
- No.
Dee Dee, I love it.
I'm sorry I lied.
Junie,
you were right all along.
I have changed.
I like living in Rackleff,
and I don't want to pretend
I don't.
Because it's not fair
to my friends,
and it's not fair
to my girlfriend.
And you know what?
It's not fair to me.
I'm really sorry, you guys.
- It's OK.
I've been known
to act my way out
of a few awkward
situations myself.
- I like oat milk now.
That's change, right?
- Well, looks like we found
out who the inauthentic kid
destroying the town is.
Killer confession, Amy.
Gotta go!
- Amy just made
a few bad choices.
You are pathological, Nate.
You're definitely the problem!
- I'm not the problem.
Bye!
- Get back here!
both: Ahh!
- Those guys worry too much.
- Good morning, Nate!
- Hey, Gene!
- Ahh!
- Looking snazzy.
- How's my favorite neighbor?
- Oh, not bad, Jerry.
Give my love to the kids.
- Ahh!
- Whoa!
- Ahh-ahh-ahh!
Hey, Teddy, Francis!
- Dude, your Mr. Nice Guy act
is tearing the town apart.
Knock it off!
- Shh!
I can't!
I want Rackleff to remember
me as a good person.
Not some giant
pain in the butt.
- Ow, my butt!
- But you are a giant
pain in the butt.
And if you keep
this up, there won't
be a Rackleff to remember you!
- [groans]
- So what you're saying is
to save the town and do good,
I have to go back to being--
- Not bad.
Just be yourself--
a chronic screw-up
with a superiority complex.
- With great power comes
great responsibility, brah.
It also comes with
a Fart Master 5000
if you want to borrow it.
- [laughs]
[fart sounds]
[metal clangs]
- Happy Friday, boys and girls.
Our town may be in shambles,
but today's lunch is soft meat
sandwiches, so that's fun.
Huh?
Ah!
Oh.
Hmm.
Who covered my chair
in marshmallow fluff?
- [snickers]
- Oh, hey, Rad-sauce.
I made you some more of
those eyeball cookies.
- All right, free food.
Ahh!
I'm going to end you, turdler.
[tires squealing]
- Ah, look at our beautiful
view, huh, kiddos?
[gasps]
Ahh!
Nate Wright!
You have detention--
for a month!
[uplifting music]
♪
- Ahh!
♪
- [chittering]
- Car's packed.
Ready to go, Nate?
- Oh yeah, about that.
Looks like we're
staying after all.
- Hmm.
- My-- Yammy?
[wails]
[retches]
I want to live
as a Rackleffian ♪
Even when I am an old man ♪
Only the awesome
are built to withstand ♪
The life cycle
of a Rackleffian ♪
Now, what is next in the
life cycle of a Rackleffian? ♪
all: I want to live
as a Rackleffian ♪
Even when I am an old man ♪
both: Or lady ♪
all: Only the awesome
are built to withstand ♪
The life cycle
of a Rackleffian ♪