Friends s02e14 Episode Script

Hold on a second.
Nice.
I got you something.
What's this? Eight hundred and twelve bucks.
Didn't Big Leon tell you? It's a thousand to have me for the whole night.
What's this for? Well, I'm making money now.
I'm paying you back for headshots, electric bills, all that pizza.
I love you, man.
Well, thanks, man.
Now I can get my pony.
This is a little extra something for always being there for me.
Wow, I don't know what to say.
Wow, I don't know what to say.
What do you say? I don't know.
It's a bracelet.
Isn't it? It's engraved, too.
Check it out.
"To my best bud.
" Thanks, best bud.
Put it on.
Now? No, it should be saved for a special occasion.
No, that's the beauty part.
It goes with everything.
When you put this on, you're good to go.
I'm never being good to go, so why don't try some jewrel.
Oh, man! You are so wearing that bracelet! I so am! Any idea what this will do for your sex life? It might slow down at first, but once I'm used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
The One With the Prom Video -This all looks good.
-Great.
If I want to call for a reference on your last job? That's right there, see? The manager, Chandler Bing? All right.
Let's see if you're as good in person as you are on paper.
Make me a salad.
A salad? I could do something more complicated.
No, just the salad will be fine.
You got it.
Now I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
All right.
Well, I'm tearing the lettuce.
Is it dirty? Oh, I'm gonna wash it.
Don't.
I like it dirty.
That's your call.
So, what are you going to do next? I thought that l'd cut up the tomatoes.
Are they firm? They're all right.
You sure they haven't gone bad? You sure they're not very, very bad? No, really, they're okay.
You gonna slice them up real nice? I was going to do them julienne.
I'm out of here! Hello? Rachel's not here.
Can I take a message? How do we spell Casey? Is it like "at the bat" or "and The Sunshine Band"? Hey, who's this Casey? Some guy she met at the movies.
What does he want with her? I guess he wants to do a little dance you know, make a little love.
Well, pretty much get down tonight.
I don't know.
I don't I don't get it! Two months ago, Rachel and I were this close.
Now I'm taking messages from guys she meets at the movies? I mean, this Casey should be taking down my messages, you know? Or Rachel and I should be together and we should get some kind of message service.
Hang in there.
It's gonna happen.
Now, how do you know that? Because she's your lobster.
Oh, she's going somewhere.
It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life.
You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, holding claws, like.
Hey, you feeling better? Yeah, I think that fifth shower got the interview off me.
Do you have other possibilities? There is the possibility that I won't make rent.
If you want, I can lend you money.
If I couldn't pay you back right away, I'd feel guilty and tense around you.
Then why not borrow it from Mom and Dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already.
Might as well make some money off of them.
The man's got a point.
What is that sparkly thing? That thing? Yeah, it's a little flashy.
No, no.
No, no.
It's not flashy.
Not for a goodfella.
Man, that is sharp! That must have cost you quite a few doubloons.
Hi, darling.
What's this? Some of your old stuff.
Well, sweetie, we have a surprise for you.
We're turning your room into a gym.
Wow, that is a surprise! Just one question.
Why not Ross's room? We talked about that but your brother had so many science trophies, plaques, merit badges.
We didn't want to disturb them.
God forbid! What's with you.
What can you tell us.
How is your job.
My job, well! Do I mention that I still don't have a boyfriend.
I just assume We were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up.
Well, they're just separated.
You never know! We'll see.
I can't say any of us were surprised.
They've been unhappy ever since we've known them.
Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
What? What incident? No, no.
I must be thinking of someone else.
Maybe me! Don't you have some folding to do? Fold.
You fold.
-Want a refill? -I'm all right, thanks.
Give me a second.
I want to get this just right.
Dude, eleven o'clock, totally hot babe checking you out.
That was really good.
I think I'm ready for my penis now.
I know what you're thinking.
Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
I'm Gail.
I really have to be somewhere, but it was nice meeting you.
Excellent! He could have gotten me a VCR or a set of golf clubs.
But no! He got me the "woman repeller"! The eyesore from the Liberace House of Crap! -It's not bad.
-Easy for you to say.
You're not sporting a reject from the Mr.
Tcollection! "l pity the fool that puts on my jewelry! I do! I do!" "l pity that fool" Hey, man! We were just doing some impressions.
Do your Marcel Marceau.
That's actually good.
Would you look at that guy? How long has he been talking to her? I don't know.
A couple of minutes.
Yeah, try doubling that.
It's like, back off, buddy! She's a waitress, not a geisha.
I think she's okay.
Look at that! She pushes him away and he won't budge! I'm gonna do something.
We'll get a condo right on the mountain.
Ski in, ski out, it's great.
Excuse me? Are you Rachel? What? Ross Geller.
God, in your ad you said you were pretty, but wow! What are you doing? Oh, my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it! If it works out, we'll have something to tell the grandkids! You sure will.
I've gotta go.
Take care.
See you later.
You're welcome.
-What? -I was saving you.
Saving me from a pleasant conversation with an interesting man? From where I was Okay, Ross, listen to me.
I am not yours to save.
But you are.
What? You're my lobster.
Are you being the blind-date guy again? No, you're my lobster.
Lobsters.
In the tank, when they're old they get with the They walk around holding the claws.
In the tank! You know, with with the holding and.
Pheebs, you wanna help me with the lobster thing? Do the claws again.
Rach, forget the lobsters, okay? Let's talk What about us? Ross, there is no "us," okay? No! Listen to me! I fell for you and I get clobbered.
You then fall for me and I again get clobbered.
I'm tired of being clobbered, you know? It's just not worth it.
Well, but No "but," Ross.
We are never gonna happen, okay? Accept that.
Except that what? No.
No.
Accept that.
Hey, man! Look, it's my best bud! How you doing? You're getting good at that Marcel Marceau thing.
What do you say we play some ball? You and me, huh? Okay, that's my bad.
If you hated the bracelet, you should have just said so.
Doesn't the fact that I wore it say how much our friendship means to me? But you insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me.
Well, that's the part where I'm a wank.
I was hoping you wouldn't focus on that.
I am focus on this.
How we argue that Come on, man! I said I was sorry a hundred times.
I promise, I will never take it off my wrist.
But if you want to stay in there and be mad you just, you stay in there.
You know what the I am here, on my knees holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret.
Much like they did in biblical times.
Though you may haveth anger now.
You are gonna grab something, aren't you.
You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush.
I'm just saying! It's right there! Hey, guys.
Hi, darling.
Where is my grandson, You didn't bring him? He's at Carol and Susan's today.
A woman in my office is a lesbian.
I'm just saying! Jack, look! There's that house paint commercial that cracks you up! -Where have you been? -Emotional hell.
Did they lend you the money? No, I haven't asked them yet.
Come on, Monica, do it.
Hey, you guys.
Monica has some news.
So listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before, but I'm no longer at my job.
I had to leave it.
Why? Because they made me.
You were fired? What are you gonna do? Judy, relax.
This is our little Harmonica we're talking about.
We taught her well.
-Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go? -ln the bank.
So she dips into her savings.
That's what it's there for.
She's gonna be fine.
Aren't you sweetie.
If you need a little extra you know where to find it.
Anything larger back there? I can't believe it! Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
Oh, you're right.
I should play in the hay.
I just dropped $400 to replace a bracelet I hated to begin with.
Bring on the hay! Hey! I've got something that'll make you happy.
Guess what Gunther found? Hey, now you have two! Oh, now you have two.
What am I gonna do? How come you have two? This one's for you.
Get out! No, I can't.
I know how much this means to you and this is about more than jewelry.
It's about you and me and the fact that we're "best buds.
" Is this friendship? I think so! Check it out! We're bracelet buddies! That's what they'll call us! Okay, here you go.
Pay me back whenever you like.
You have dinosaur checks? You get your money and you learn something.
What's wrong with that? Nothing.
Hey, you're a cheap-a-saurus! I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Thank you, I'm very grateful.
Hey, Mon, what is this? That's my bathing suit from high school.
I was a little bigger then.
I thought they used that to cover Connecticut when it rains.
Hey, what's on this videotape? I don't know.
Let's put it in.
Over here, Jack.
Okay.
Rachel's coming up the path.
Doesn't she look pretty? Jack? Can you get this? Oh, my God! What is with your nose? They had to reduce it because of my deviated septum.
Okay, I was wrong.
That's what they use to cover Connecticut.
This is us getting ready for the prom.
We don't have to watch.
Yeah, we do.
-Come on! -It's fun! Get a shot of Monica.
Where's Monica? Over here, Dad! Wait.
How do you zoom out? There she is! Some girl ate Monica! Shut up! The camera adds ten pounds.
So how many cameras are actually on you? Oh, you look so great! So do you! You look beautiful! -Oops.
- What? I think I got mayonnaise on you.
Oh, it's just the shoulder, not my dress.
Everybody smile! Oh, Dad, turn it off! It is off.
It is not! What's with the red light? It's the off light.
Right, Ross? Looking good, Mr.
IKotter.
- You look pretty tonight.
-Oh, thanks.
- What are you doing this summer? -I'm gonna hang out work on my music.
Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down.
Let me see.
I don't know.
What are you gonna do The guys are here! this summer? Work on your music? Oh, my God! There's Roy Gublik! You know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times.
He was in the paper.
Where's Chip? Why isn't he here yet? He'll be here, okay? Take a chill pill.
There.
I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
I can't go to the prom without a date.
I can't! It's too late! If you're not going, then I don't want to go.
Oh, I'm gonna kick Chip's ass! I have a wonderful idea.
You should take Rachel to the prom.
Doubtful.
Jack, give me that.
Talk to your son.
All right, go on.
This thing's heavy.
Your mother's right.
Take her.
You can wear my tux.
She won't wanna go with me.
Of course she would! You're a college man! -I don't know.
- Well, come on.
Don't you wanna find out? I can't believe I can't go to the prom! This is so harsh! -Hold my board.
- Thataboy! Thataboy! I think we've seen enough.
Let's turn it off.
Well, I'm not gonna watch.
Come on, kid.
Let's go! -My! Are you handsome! -Let's show them! Just a sec, Dad.
Okay, be cool.
Just be cool.
Okay, Dad.
Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining Oh, no.
Don't wait up! Chip! Oh, dear! How do I turn this off? Press the button.
Which one? Which button? Jack! The button! The button! I can't believe you did that.
Yeah, well.
See? He's her lobster! Dance with him! Mom, I'm hungry! Dance with your father.
I don't know any of your flashdances, but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
All right.
-Oh, Jack! -Oh, Judy!