Grounded For Life (2001) s02e14 Episode Script

That's a boy.
You were great out there.
Keep up the footwork.
You're dazzling them.
Dad, dad.
It's all about flurry.
Dazzle and flurry and flurry and dazzle-- Dad, you're wrapping it too tight.
Sorry.
Don't apologize.
It's supposed to be like that.
I can't feel my fingers.
They're not your fingers anymore.
They're steely instruments of mayhem.
Inanimate meat hammers.
I can't scratch my butt with a meat hammer.
Ugh.
Dad, you are gonna slaughter Mr.
O'Keefe.
Yeah.
The way he beat the crap out of those first 2 guys It was like--bam, wham, bam.
They didn't even see it coming.
OK, come on, guys.
Look, this is a charity, OK? And I'm doing this thing so we can raise money for a good cause and to challenge myself.
And that's what boxing's all about.
It's about 2 men challenging themselves in the field of honor.
Dad, that didn't really look like honor.
Stay down, buddy.
Aah! You're out.
Clean-up on aisle 3.
Whoo-hoo! Take it to him.
Body, body, body, body.
Yeah.
All right.
That's my boy.
If there's a fat lady here, I'd appreciate a song.
That's all she wrote.
You're out, brother.
Whoo! Jimmy, now, you have to understand that there's a certain When a man Who am I kidding? Your dad kicked some major ass! Yeah! God, it stinks in here.
Are you kidding me? Next to booze and tobacco, the smell of a locker room is the most manly smell you're ever gonna know.
Smells like underpants.
Heh.
You'll learn to love it.
That smell represents generations of finnertys.
And We're proud of that? Well, sure.
We finnertys are born fighters.
My father reminded me every day.
It's in our blood.
Wally, I want you come at me as hard as you can, and I promise not to hit you back, all right? All right, I just taught you Always guard with your left.
That was only one lesson.
OK, here's the other.
Never let your guard down! And don't start crying to your mother, or I'll teach you lesson number 3, you understand? All right, we'll make a man of you yet.
How I loved that man.
Come on, dad.
He sucker-punched you.
Yeah.
You do that now, people call you a bad father.
So, dad, if boxing is such a family tradition, how come you never did it? I used to box.
Yeah, no, I remember.
Yeah.
Your dad used to fight in this tournament every year.
But then, one day, about 5 years ago, he just walked away.
Why did you walk away, dad? No reason.
Were you scared? No.
Did you kill a guy? Did mom make you stop? No.
Did mom kill a guy? He doesn't wanna talk about 5 years ago.
It's a source of unspeakable shame.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
All right, son, put him down this round.
That a boy.
You're doing great.
You think? Yeah, yeah, no doubt.
Maybe you should ease up on the guy a little.
You think I'm tiring myself out too soon? I just have the feeling that tonight's not your night.
What'd you say? What did you hear? I thought you said tonight's not my night.
Um, I may have.
I was thinking it.
Why's tonight not my night? Uh, you know, I thought maybe you were gonna take a dive tonight.
Take a dive? Um, it would mean a lot to me.
You bet against me? I did not bet against you.
You're my brother.
But some individuals of my acquaintance did.
I owe them big.
If you hit the mat, I can continue to use my internal organs as nature intended.
These guys are gonna kill you over that? This is just a stupid amateur bout.
Exactly, so what's the big deal if you lose? I gotta lose to this guy? God, I don't even know how to do it.
It's gonna look fake.
You'll be fine.
Just don't concentrate.
Keep your guard down, let him hit you.
A lot.
Go! Get up, Sean.
Get up.
You're a Finnerty.
Sean, how could you Do that? Jeez, how could you do this to me? Boo.
Boo.
Stay down.
I'll never forget that night.
All the stares, the tauntings.
My good friend Kyle saying, "your boy's a quitter.
" I had to beat the crap out of him.
Why did you do it, dad? You always tell us to do our best.
I did it for my little brother.
Don't you ever try to make me throw a fight.
Like you'd have to pretend to lose.
You don't even know who I'd be fighting.
Come on, come on.
Guys, guys, guys.
Sean! Baby, what's the matter? Connie O'Keefe's been going around telling people that my chest isn't real.
Mom, it's not that big a deal.
Yeah.
She's probably upset 'cause I'm about to pummel her husband senseless.
Come on.
I hate that somebody thinks that I would do something so vain and shallow.
Let it go, mom.
You're bigger than that.
Gahh! You know what I mean.
Do you think you're being a little paranoid? Ha ha ha.
I know what I heard.
Oh, he's got it.
Body blow, body blow.
Oh, yeah.
Whoo! Yeah.
Ho ho! Yeah! Brad, sit down.
Ma, I was just trying to get a better look.
Uh-huh.
I don't know what he's so excited about.
They're not real.
Is she talking about me? No.
She's talking about your rack.
You should be flattered, Claudia.
People pay thousands of dollars for that implant look.
I don't think she meant it as a compliment.
Well, I wonder how Connie O'Keefe would like it if it got out that she used to be Andrew Van Der Waal.
A man.
You're full of Yes, I am.
But if she's gonna spread rumors about you, why shouldn't we do the same to her? Her/him.
Yeah You know, she does have that little faint mustache.
Yeah, and that Adam's apple's not exactly womanly.
Heh heh.
Good point.
Dad, we just saw Mr.
O'Keefe, and I don't know, he looks pretty strong.
Your dad is gonna have no problem with O'Keefe 'cause your dad is fighting with pure rage.
No, I'm not.
Come on.
It's a friendly rivalry.
Dad, you've been walking around the house for a week saying that you wanna punch his teeth through the back of his head.
That's what I like to hear.
OK, I admit it.
I hate the guy.
He's always pressing my freaking buttons.
Good girl, Brandy.
Hey.
Hey, I saw that.
Saw what? Your dog taking care of business on our walk.
She does it every day.
It wasn't my dog.
I just saw her do it.
It's my wife's dog.
Oh, that's witty.
You're a real wit.
Uh-oh.
He's getting angry.
Protect me, Brandy.
Hey, boys, why don't you ask your old man why he didn't sign up for the PBA boxing tourney again this year? Why didn't you sign up for the PBA boxing tourney? You know, Henry, I have better things to do.
Well, it's probably for the better, what with me in the best shape of my life, and you, well, you know No, I don't know.
Why don't you tell me? Oh, come on.
Look at you.
I'd turn you into a red-headed smudge on the canvas.
You think so? Sure as I'm standing here.
Yeah? Yeah.
Is that sign-up sheet still down at the rec center? Right where it always is.
Then I'm going down there and putting my name right next to yours.
Wanna borrow my pen? Isn't there one hanging on a little string by the bulletin board? I suppose there is.
Then I'll use that one.
You do that.
I will.
Aah! Oh, dad, you just stepped right in-- I know, I know.
But tonight, OK, O'Keefe's gonna step in it.
Step in what? A big, steaming pile of pain.
Hi, Claudia.
Hey, Wendy.
How's it going? Great.
Great.
Uh, sorry about Sean beating the crap out of bill out there.
It's for charity.
Yeah.
Listen, Claudia, I was just wondering Who did your work? What work? Your, you know Work.
These boobs are natural.
They are very natural.
That's why I'm asking.
No, I mean, they're mine.
OK, fine, don't tell me.
But, frankly, everybody thinks you overdid it.
Who is everybody? Who the hell is everybody?! What is going on? I dunno.
Maybe people are jealous.
Jealous? I feel like I'm back in high school.
And it is for all these reasons that we should all support Walter Mondale.
Rebuttal.
Rebuttal.
Um, what did you say? OK, ladies, jumping Jacks.
Uh, coach, um I feel sick.
OK, sit it out.
Aw, are you serious? Come on! You think you get out of high school, everything's gonna change, but I guess not, right? If it's not a 14-year-old boy, it's a 40-year-old bitch.
Don't you think you're being just a little harsh? No.
Who in the world would start such a stupid, vicious rumor? I'm sure whoever it was didn't mean any harm.
I swear they didn't.
Finnerty, you're up in 10 minutes.
Oh, we better go get our seats.
Don't relax.
This thing's gonna be over quick.
Don't sit too close to the ring.
You don't want O'Keefe's guts all over you.
I do.
Hey Hey, hey, hey.
I was just checking out O'Keefe.
You got nothing to worry about.
Really? I'm sure of it.
Tonight's your night.
Thanks, buddy.
Wait a minute.
What do you mean, "tonight's my night"? I got a real good feeling.
Yeah? How good? Good enough that I put some money on you.
Eddie, what did you do? Nothing, nothing, nothing.
You go have fun.
It's your night.
You fixed the fight, didn't you? No, no, no, no, no.
I just eliminated one of the variables.
Your opponent's desire to win.
Oh, no.
That's good.
Good, do that.
It makes it look real.
I don't believe you, man.
You're my brother! How could you do this to me? To you? To you? For you.
He's gonna take a dive, you're gonna win.
I didn't need you to put the fix on.
Oh, you wanted to lose? No, I wanted to beat him.
Well, you're gonna.
But for real.
Are there different kinds of winning now? Winning is winning.
Come on, man.
I don't believe this.
O'Keefe hates my guts.
He's not gonna dive.
I managed to talk him into it.
I'll give you $500 to throw the fight.
I don't think you understand just how much I hate your brother's guts.
I'll make it 1,000.
Done.
A thousand bucks? What, O'Keefe gets a thousand bucks, and I get dinner for 2 at Connie's? Sean, I'm doing this for you.
I'm not making a penny off this.
Oh, really? Beyond expenses and overhead, no.
Aw Oh, you remember that fight I fixed 5 years ago? Yeah.
I always felt bad about that.
That was wrong.
Now I'm gonna make it right.
By fixing another fight? Yeah, but this time, for the right reasons.
I'm like the mod squad.
So I'm supposed to go in there and fight this guy who's not gonna fight back? How am I supposed to win back my honor? Listen, Sean, your honor's in the bag.
I don't wanna win that way.
I'd rather lose.
Well, if you wanna lose, lose next year, all right? This year, as soon as you touch him, he's gonna go down.
Oh All right, don't overdo that.
Mom, just let me explain.
Oh, what possible explanation can there be for telling people I have fake boobs? There were reasons.
Like what? OK, look, you are not the only one who's sick and tired of hearing about your boobs.
Man, who's that? That's Lily's mom.
No way.
Oh, yeah.
Nice sweater.
One time, I think I saw half the bottom of one of them.
Seriously? Yeah.
She's reaching up to clean out a gutter, we're talking no bra.
Are you guys talking about Lily's mom's boobs? Oh, yeah! OK, you know what? You guys are idiots.
They're not even real.
That's not true.
Why do you think we can't afford a better car? Ohh Mom, I'm sorry.
You know, Lily, you really shouldn't have done that.
I am a woman.
And women have breasts.
And I'm not gonna cover 'em up with sweatshirts or starve myself until they go away.
I don't have to be ashamed of my body.
Nobody should be shamed of who they are.
Well, that's easy for you to say.
You've got huge boobs.
Did you hear anything I just Said? Oh, hi, Claudia.
Hi, Connie.
Hi, Wendy.
Look, I know what you think, and it doesn't bother me because I have nothing to prove, and I don't care.
Well, whatever.
OK, you know what? The way that you said whatever sounds like you don't believe me.
Which is fine 'cause I don't really care whether you believe me or not.
As long as you're happy.
And I am happy.
'Cause it doesn't matter what you think.
What matters is that I'm very comfortable with myself.
Right.
Bye, then.
Bye.
OK, that's it.
Don't take my word for it.
You make the call.
Wow! What--what--what-- What the-- I missed it! No, wait! This can't be happening to me! Wait! Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.
In this corner, the challenger, weighing 188 pounds, the red-headed menace-- Sean Finnerty! Yeah! And in this corner, the champion 4 years running, standing 6'1" tall, weighing 185 pounds, dangerous Dan O'Keefe.
Go, Danny! Go, Danny! All right, now I want a clean fight.
No rabbit punches, no hitting below the belt.
And when I tell you to break, break clean.
Now shake hands and come out fighting.
Fine, don't.
See if I give a damn.
All right, Sean, go out there and do us proud.
And don't worry.
I've sterilized some razor blades.
For what? I'm your cut man.
In case you puff up.
I'm not puffing up unless I get stung by a bee.
That a boy.
Get him.
Come on, Finnerty, what are you waiting for? I'm waiting for you to bring it.
Oh, I brought it.
It's right over here.
Why don't you come and get it? Why don't you come and get it? Oh, you're gonna get it.
You're gonna get it.
Yeah? Well, bring it.
I'm gonna bring it.
I don't see you bringing nothing.
You bring it! What the hell are you doing, seany? He's no gonna go down if you don't hit him at least once.
I know.
I know.
What's dad doing? Guaranteeing us a butt-kicking in school tomorrow.
OK, I see what you're doing.
You don't it to be obvious.
Just remember, you only got 3 rounds here.
All you got to do is make contact.
That's all I need.
I'm not doing it, Eddie.
Come on, Sean.
You got a chance to be a winner here.
Embrace success.
Say "yes" to you.
You can kiss my-- Can't dance forever, O'Keefe.
I'm right here.
All right.
Ohh! Hey, ref, that's a disqualification.
He got him right in the goods.
Dad wins.
That's a disquali-- No! No disqualification.
Why would he do that? Why would Sean do that? I dunno.
Some crap about honor.
No! No disqualification.
Oh God You idiot, Finnerty.
Take a stupid win.
I am winning.
You're not getting your money.
Your brother can keep his money.
I'm gonna kick your ass.
That's all I wanted to hear.
Good work, seany.
I'll get you some ice for your package.
I wanted to make it easy for you, Sean.
That's the difference between you and me Eddie-- I like to earn my victories.
Yeah, it looks pretty sweet.
It is sweet 'cause it's real.
You're out.
The winner.
Hurry it up with that ice, dad.
Hey, Miss Finnerty.
Hi, Brad.
Um, look I know how important it is to you to set the record straight.
You know, about My breasts? Yeah, and Heh.
I have to say, I'm still skeptical.
So I just wanted to give you the opportunity to just once and for all Show you my breasts? Heh heh heh.
Heh heh heh.
Heh heh.
Not gonna happen, Brad.
What? Why not? Just go home, Brad.
But--but you showed my mom.
Maybe she'll describe 'em for you.
No.
She already said she wouldn't.
Say, dad, will you teach me how to blow a bubble? Sure thing, son.
Pay attention, all right? I'm only gonna show you this once.
Ow! Never, ever let your guard down.
I love you, son.
You've got what it takes.
Ow! You bugger.
I'm gonna kill you! Come on!