Harvey Beaks (2015) s02e14 Episode Script

1 [cheerful music.]
# Harvey # # Harvey # # Harvey # Okay, class, now that we're done crafting, it's time to name our puppets.
I named mine Miss Genevieve Perriwinkle.
She's a saucy bayou chef.
[in Cajun accent.]
Enchanté, children.
My puppet's name is Bethany.
Bethany is very sick.
That's okay because my puppet is a doctor.
I think I'm gonna name him Brad.
Brad Paxton.
[robust voice.]
H'yuck, hi, there, buddy.
[normal voice.]
No, too weird.
[in British accent.]
Good day, old chap.
[normal voice.]
No, no, that's not it.
The voice will come to me.
All: [chanting.]
Fight! Fight! [crashing.]
Huh? What's going on out there? - You take it back, Dade.
- Or else! Oh, yeah? Bring it.
[both grunt.]
[gasps.]
[all grunting.]
[in Cajun accent.]
Good heavens.
[dramatic music.]
You shut your filthy mouth! You shut it! Ugh, your breath is so bad it's making my eyes water.
Ah! I'm shouting too! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's the problem? [grunting.]
Oh, thank goodness you're here, Harvey.
Maybe you can talk some sense into these lunatics.
Dade thinks strawberry flavored Toastie Tarts are better than s'mores flavored Toastie Tarts.
Blasphemy.
S'mores are not a breakfast food.
- They're just not! - Now, guys, how about we focus on some common ground? There's no wrong time of day for s'mores, you monster.
Ugh, I'm not gonna listen to someone who wears a potato sack.
[grunts.]
You smell like old ham.
[all grunting.]
I got 'em.
You kids need to calm down.
But off the record, I gotta say, I'm impressed with your fighting skills.
That was quite a tiff.
Well, I guess you gotta agree to disagree.
Oh, we agree on one thing.
I never wanna see those two again.
Are you guys being serious? I have been nothing but civil, and what do I get? Rashes.
I get rashes.
I put up with him 'cause I thought he'd die eventually, but when he speaks, my hair falls out.
I don't enjoy him.
Yeah, okay, but can't we Enough of this.
Come on, Harvey.
- Let's get out of here.
- Yeah, right, meat-brain.
Harvey's coming we us.
Oh, like fun he's coming with you.
- He's coming with me.
- No, he's coming with me.
Harvey, go on.
Tell 'em I'm your best friend.
Dude, you know we're your best friend.
- Come on, Harvey, let's go.
- Get this over with.
- Ditch this guy.
- Harvey.
- Harvey.
- Come home.
Dade is friend.
Fee, Foo, friend.
II - I choose both! - Both: What? If you guys don't want to see each other, then I'll just hang out with you both separately.
That way everyone will be happy.
So, what do you say? [growls.]
All right, deal.
[cheerful music.]
And some rustic Dijon.
Voilà.
The perfect sandwich.
There's nothing better than sharing a meal with your friends.
I can unhinge my jaw.
Ah Let's dig in.
[sighs.]
[horn blows.]
Oh, that's the Harvey Horn.
Dade must be calling.
Ugh, that guy.
I'll admit.
I wasn't sure about this arrangement, but its pretty great now that I don't have to see his face anymore.
It's different, but it works for us.
[chuckles weakly.]
Yeah.
I'll see you guys later.
[horn blowing.]
[panting.]
Hey, Dade.
I heard the horn.
- What's up? - I hope you came hungry 'cause I made sandwiches.
Uh Go ahead.
Dig in.
Uh, I actually already ate.
- What? - But I can eat more.
a lot more.
[breathing heavily.]
[groans.]
Oh, it's Fee and Foo's Harvey Drum.
Oh, those two.
Just don't let 'em give you lice again.
[panting.]
Come on, Harvey.
We gotta climb higher.
Coming.
[sniffing.]
I think you tracked back his scent.
Oh, sorry.
[quirky music.]
There.
Much better.
[horn blows.]
Oh.
Whoa! You're looking very regal there, buddy.
Oh.
With those two cretins out of my life, I've stopped grinding my teeth.
[groans.]
When I move, there's pain.
[drum beating.]
[groans.]
[both laughing.]
[horn blows.]
[drum beating.]
[horn blows.]
[drum beating, horn blowing.]
Well, everyone had a great time today.
Just gotta keep this up for the rest of my life.
[coughs.]
Ah, there's a tooth.
Hey, over here.
Look, I do not wanna be near these two weirdos.
Oh, sorry.
I'll move you.
- Thanks, buddy.
- Hey, what about us? We don't want to be reminded every day of Dade's wild west themed birthday.
Oh, shut up.
You guys are just jealous.
Okay, let me I don't want our frames to touch.
Yeah, I can agree with that.
Ugh, fix it, Harvey.
Get me outta here.
- I'd prefer the other side.
- Separate us.
Don't make me deal with him.
- Both: I hate that guy.
- I hate their presence.
Hey, I don't wanna be stuck here with him.
Harvey, rip this photo up.
- Rip it up.
- Break it.
But that was ultimate Frisbee day.
I love that memory.
[glass shatters.]
No! [screams.]
This isn't working.
How can I teach these guys about friendship? [soft dramatic music.]
Ooh.
Thank you all for putting aside your grievances - and joining me here.
- For the record, I did not know these two would be here.
If I knew he was coming, I would have brought a Taser.
I've put together a presentation and it's called How to Be Nice Even If You Disagree.
Just so you know.
I'm only here to support my best friend.
Go to sleep, Dade.
I hope you find this educational.
[fanfare music playing over stereo.]
Hi, everyone.
I'm Harvey.
[nasally voice.]
And I'm Brad Paxton.
[normal voice.]
Hey, Brad, what's your favorite color? - [nasally voice.]
Red.
- [normal voice.]
That's cool.
My favorite color's blue.
[nasally voice.]
Well, I disagree, and I think your sweater's real ugly.
[normal voice.]
Now, Brad, that wasn't very nice.
Hey! You can't talk to Harvey like that.
His sweater is not ugly.
Um, the audience participation part of the show is coming soon.
Brad, just because we disagree, doesn't mean we should be mean to each other.
[nasally voice.]
Oh, yeah? Well, I think you're a goober.
- Whoa! - Harvey's not a goober! He's a sweet boy! - Boo! Boo! - Leave Harvey alone, - you big jerk! - I'm furious! Guys, if you keep shouting then I can't finish the show.
[gasps.]
He's got Harvey's arm.
But this is a puppet.
Destroy him! [screams.]
You guys are missing the point of the lesson! - Both: Ah! - Blood! I've finally fixed my steam balloon.
Just in time for my steamy date.
[laughs.]
Things are looking up for Moff.
[leave rustle.]
Ah, I gotta hide.
[exciting music.]
[panting.]
Where'd he go? Oh, whwhat if he makes fun of Harvey's giant head? But that's Harvey's biggest insecurity.
That's why he avoids hats.
I'm gonna get you, Brad Paxton! Hey, they aren't arguing anymore.
It's like they're too busy being mad at you.
[nasally voice.]
They're hatred for a common enemy is uniting them, Harvey.
[normal voice.]
You're right.
Brad, I'm sorry.
You've been a good puppet friend, but now could you be a puppet villain? [nasally voice.]
I'm whatever you need me to be.
[dramatic music.]
Guys, I'm up here! [nasally voice.]
[laughs evilly.]
That's right! - I'm holding Harvey hostage - All: Oh, no! [nasally voice.]
And I'll never let him go because he's a huge doody head.
- Brad, you stop it.
- Just wait till I get up there.
[nasally voice.]
The only way you could possibly rescue Harvey is if you put aside your differences - and work together.
- What? No, I'm not working with these two bozos.
Yeah, ew.
We'll just save Harvey ourselves.
No, I'm saving Harvey.
- I got the rope first.
- Let go, Dade.
We're gonna save Harvey.
You're not needed here.
You get your dirty hands off me.
Oh, uh maybe more cooperatively? Stop trying to spread your garbage everywhere.
- Oh, no.
- What? Emily, we met at Applebark's.
You said to only call when my blimp was ready.
Well, guess what? I never mind.
[music.]
- Don't worry, Harvey.
- This is all your fault! [both grunting.]
Oh, no! Tornadobark! Harvey! [screaming.]
[music.]
We'll never save him if we keep fighting each other.
[growls.]
[growls.]
Fine.
Let's save our friend.
Fine.
I think we should come up with a careful, rational, and safe plan that this is not what I was saying! [screams.]
[screaming.]
Huh? [all screaming.]
Guys! You guys did it.
You worked together.
[thumping.]
Take that and that! - I'm gonna mess you up.
- And that! I'm gonna punch your eyeballs! [music.]
We're okay! You saved me! So you guys put aside your differences and made up, right? - No, no,.
- We still hate him.
Yeah, "hate" is the word I would use, but we can't be sure if that Brad character is gone for good.
He could still be out there.
Until we know Harvey is safe from all danger, truce? - [sighs.]
Truce.
- Yeah, we're all friends again! Now how do we get down? [screams, grunts.]
Dang it, Fee.
[wheezing.]
Oh, my, a balloon accident.
Oh, a puppet friend.
[in Cajun accent.]
Enchanté.
What's your name, sugar? [in British accent.]
Oh, good day, madam.
No, that's not the voice.
Eh, it'll come to me.
All: Yeah! [upbeat music.]
[all giggling.]
A little to the left.
[both laughing.]
It's so nice of you to bring out your little siblings to lunch, Dade.
[wheezing.]
- Oh.
- Nope.
- Over here, Harvey.
- Oh.
You gotta keep the rowdier ones on a short leash.
Stay.
[hisses.]
Oh, sorry, Dade.
You and your siblings all kind of look the same.
Oh, that's okay, Harvey.
Easy mistake.
But it stings just the same.
[screaming.]
[quirky lilting music.]
[all clamoring.]
[grunting.]
Let me in.
Hello, I exist too.
Sorry, little boy.
What would you like? To be an only child.
We're out of chili.
Ugh, I'll have a cheese sandwich.
- A cheese sandwich.
- Wait, I'm not done.
Uh, with mayonnaise, but only on one side.
Oh, oh, and, uh, back to the cheese,.
Make sure it's Swiss, and I-I want a pickle on a spear through the middle on top.
What a special order.
Oh [chuckles.]
Why, thank you.
I think I'll add that to the menu.
What's your name, little boy? Uh, Dade.
Well, Dade, you're the new special.
[gasps.]
I'm special.
[bell dings.]
Order up.
All: Ooh.
[giggles.]
All right, make way.
Special boy coming through.
Important announcement, everyone.
Have you heard about the hottest new hoagie - on the menu? - No.
It's called The Dade.
Check it out.
It's right up there on the special's board.
But I thought only famous people got stuff named after them.
I don't know who you are.
Well, now you won't forget.
- What'll you have? - Uh, I'll have No, no, no, I got this, Claire.
She'll have The Dade.
But I'm very allergic to bread.
Make that a protein-style Dade.
Hey, Harvey, the diner named a sandwich after me.
Oh, my gosh.
That's amazing.
You'll go down in history.
Like Rudolph.
I don't know who that is, so that's not really a good example.
Forget Mr.
Fruit Bowl.
Give me a bite of that bad boy.
Oh, Harvey, you are saying all the right words now.
[chewing.]
So, what do you think? Come on.
Don't keep me waiting.
Not too salty, not too sweet.
Doesn't really taste like anything.
I like it! Oh, this is great.
I knew you'd like it.
See this, this is why we're so close.
Hey, what's up? Ooh, what's that? None of your ding-dang business is what it is.
But if you must know, the diner named this sandwich after me because I'm just so unique.
Oh, sweet.
You can order off the menu here? Hey, old guy, I'm ready.
Here comes the lightning feet.
- Here I come.
- I want a hoagie with a slice of pizza stuffed in the middle, and drizzle the whole thing in, uh, chocolate fudge.
What is that, like, a sandwich for a confused person? - Ha, I don't - What a special order.
- What? - I think I'll add that to the menu.
What's your name? Wade! [dramatic music.]
[gasps.]
[bell dings.]
Order up.
See? That wasn't so hard.
That took, like, what? Five seconds? Wh wh why would anyone want your disgusting sandwich when they could have a classic like mine? It does look kind of interesting.
- Yeah, that looks pretty good.
- Who are you? Get outta here! Ugh, how can I be special when dumb Wade has a sandwich? I gotta prove mine's better.
[gasps.]
I know! Ready for round seven, Jeremy? You've been here all day.
[slurping.]
Oh, yeah.
Uh, speaking of uh, can I get the bathroom key? - Here you go.
- Oh, boy, gotta go.
Hey, stop right there, Jeremy.
I have an emergency.
Oh, oh, can it wait? Jeremy, I am not letting you leave this booth.
Go on.
Okay, well, as a fellow snacker, I am an avid viewer of your online snack review series.
Oh, you've seen those videos? Uh, hello, everyone.
This is the new line of pizza-flavored toaster treats, and, uh, I'm gonna eat 'em.
Okay, here I go.
[gnawing.]
[static.]
[gnawing.]
Oh, these are really good.
Oh, these are even better.
[lilting upbeat music.]
So, yeah, that concludes "Snacking With Jeremy.
" Oof, I'm gonna go sleep at the hospital now.
Until next time.
So, anyway, I have two sandwiches here: one that's delicious and one that's disgusting, and I was kinda hoping that you, as a man of taste, can convince the people that my sandwich is better.
Basically, I want to use you.
[camera beeps.]
Boy, it sounds kind of bad when I say it like that.
[camera beeps.]
Hey! Oh, what the heck? Youyou already ate 'em? Oh, oops.
Well, can you at least tell me which one was better? There were two sandwiches? [groans.]
[ambient music.]
No one can resist a free sample.
All right, come and get oh.
[wind blowing.]
Cards are boring.
Come with me.
Don't pretend like there's somewhere you gotta be.
Come on.
Live, darn you! Oh, my gosh! You gotta try this sandwich.
Come on.
He'll be fine.
[clears throat.]
So I'm sure you're all wondering - why I brought you here today.
- Um No, no, no, I'm not actually taking questions.
All right, so you can stop holding your applause because here it is.
The Dade.
Ain't she a beaut? Get 'em while they're nice and hot.
Or, uh, room temperature, I guess.
So, in closing, be sure to tell your friends all about The Dade and about me, Dade.
You know, not to brag or anything, but the diner kind of named the sandwich after me - because I am so special.
- Wait.
You can get a sandwich named after yourself at the diner? Well, technically, anyone can get a sandwich, but wait, wait, wait! [indistinct chatter.]
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! - I want one.
- Me next! - I was here first.
- I want one! Lots of business today.
I want a single piece of cheese wrapped in lettuce.
Bib lettuce if you have it, but you probably don't have it.
No, that order's not special! Can I get a piece of bread? But can you burn it a little? That's toast! You just ordered toast! - What a special order.
- No! I think I'll add that to the menu.
What's your na Oh, dear.
- Looks like we're outta room.
- Oh, phew.
Well, let's just take off some of these stinkers.
[dramatic music.]
[video game buzzing.]
Huh? Oh, yeah, that's cool.
All right, who's next? All: Me! This this doesn't make any sense.
[sputters.]
This can't be happening.
[hyperventilates.]
This must be some kind of horrible nightmare.
[grunts.]
Ugh! Theythey rejected me.
[hyperventilating.]
They all rejected me! I've been cast aside like a common rag.
[whistling.]
- Hey! - Huh? Tell me why.
Why don't they want me? Uh, I don't know.
Um, you're clingy? You come on too strong? Leave me alone, man.
I just wanted a milkshake! [laughs demonically.]
[gasps.]
The diner.
[growls.]
Oh, you don't think I'm special.
Well, I'll show you who's special.
[eerie music.]
I'm gonna get revenge on that horrible diner and everyone in it.
[snoring.]
Time to set the bait.
Wake up, little buddy.
[murmurs.]
Who wants a sandwich? Well, come and get it.
[stomach growls.]
You know you want it! Dinner is served.
[laughs crazily.]
[growls.]
[growling.]
[laughing crazily.]
It's working.
I can see the diner.
[dramatic music.]
There it is.
Destroy it.
I command you to eat the diner.
Eat it! [laughs crazily.]
Oh, no, I really didn't think this thing through.
[screaming.]
Oh, great.
Now somebody wants the stupid [stomach rumbling.]
[burps.]
[gagging.]
[groans.]
Oh, I'm alive.
Ah, hey, what gives? Didn't I taste good? Mm [grumbles.]
A little too bland.
Oh, everybody's a critic.
Dang foodies.
Well, I guess nobody wants The Dade.
Or me.
[both snoring.]
[soft music.]
All right, you win.
Hey, where were you? [sniffs.]
You smell weird.
[sighs.]
[bell dings.]
Order up.
One Dade.
[gasps.]
Wade, you ordered my sandwich.
Turns out hot fudge and pizza's only rad, like, the first two times.
I decided to go for a classic.
Oh, man, it feels good to hear someone say that.
Yeah, sometimes I find it's the old reliable stuff that I like best.
You know what I mean? [quirky upbeat music.]
Can you, uh can you repeat that for the camera?