Just Shoot Me! (1997) s02e14 Episode Script

The Walk

[***.]
Dennis.
Hey, Courtney.
Do you have change for a dollar? [ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SIGHS.]
I do.
Oh I do too.
[CRYING.]
Well can I have it? [HIGH-PITCHED.]
Huh? Can I have it? [SNIFFLES.]
Yeah yeah.
There.
It's all there-- change for a dollar.
Hey, thanks.
Hey, Courtney.
Maybe we could go out sometime.
Um my treat.
I have a lot of change.
The pay phone near my house broke.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Twice as sweet as no, half as good as yes.
Finch, buddy, you're going about this all wrong.
The more you drool over her, the less she's gonna want you.
That may apply to your freaky model chicks, but not my Courtney.
Trust me, it's human nature.
You advance, she retreats.
Conversely, you retreat, she advances.
Romance is like a tango.
Yesterday you said the stock market was like a tango.
It is.
Good morning, boys.
Hi, Jack.
Hi.
Dennis, any messages? Oh, I was just going to get them.
Jack, don't you think romance is like a tango? Yesterday you said the subway system is like a tango.
It is.
[SHUTTER CLICKS.]
New camera? Yep.
Completely digital.
with a 16-bit filter.
What does that mean? I have no idea, but it sure is shiny.
That's comforting, coming from our head photographer.
Good morning, Dad.
Oh, Elliott, put that thing away.
No, I mean it, Elliott.
JACK: Okay.
I got a great idea for an article: an in-depth look at the business of cosmetic surgery.
Oh, finally! That sounds great.
We'll call it "Plastic Fantastic.
" Oh, silly me.
I thought when you said "in-depth," it means we would show these doctors for what they really are-- vultures feeding on women's insecurities.
My friend Binnie bought a vulture once.
She'd read an article that they'd make terrific house pets.
Well, they don't.
Kept picking at her while she slept.
Ha ha! Jack, your messages.
Maya, like it or not, plastic surgery is here to stay.
I just think we should be promoting beauty from within.
NINA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And marriage is based on mutual respect.
[LAUGHS.]
[SHUTTER CLICKS.]
I'm talking about how women feel about themselves.
When my friend Binnie had her ribs-- Enough.
You should have seen what ended up on-- Enough! That's it! Everybody, out of the office.
What? You heard the man.
Everybody, out.
Scoot.
You too, Dennis.
What? I don't want to be disturbed.
No calls, no questions, no visitors, and if anyone so much as touches this doorknob, you're fired.
What was that all about? I have no idea.
I think I know what the problem is.
Just a little low blood sugar.
I'll take care of it.
No reason to panic.
JACK: Get out! You know what? He says thanks, but he's not hungry.
That was weird.
Yeah.
I've never seen him that mad.
Well, Nina and those damn Binnie stories.
Me?! "My friend Binnie taught her dog to whistle.
" "My friend Binnie can chew through metal.
" All right, people.
Jack said he wants it quiet, so let's move about [WHISTLES.]
All right, that's good.
Something else set him off.
What about those phone messages from Finch? Don't try to pin this on me, lady.
Reception took those messages.
Well, let's see the carbons.
Maybe there's a clue.
Uh let's take a look.
Four messages.
Earl called to say he'll see Jack at the next Pacers game next month.
Okay, what else? Rhonda will call back.
What else? Room confirmation for the Four Seasons.
And? A call from Dr.
Taylor saying there's nothing we can do.
Oh, my God! JACK: Pipe down out there! [IMITATING MAYA.]
Sorry, Dad.
It's me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Courtney.
Can I help you? I have some checks for Jack to sign.
Ooh, it's not a good time.
But he wanted me to come-- Don't touch that doorknob.
What? You heard me.
Now, back away.
What has gotten into you? I'm just doing my job.
Huh You look kind of cute today.
What? You look cute.
Hmm.
The tango begins.
D.
Finch, Lord of the Dance.
I'm telling you, I can't do imitations.
[IMITATING JACK.]
Dr.
Taylor? Jack Gallo.
Ha! You called? What? The worst you've ever seen? What is it? What's wrong? Okay, uh thank you.
Maya, brace yourself.
It's his sleeves.
What? Dr.
Taylor is a tailor, not a doctor.
You know, you know.
Like the king of big screens isn't really a king, Captain Crunch never served in-- All right, we get it.
Well, Jack dropped off his jacket to be fixed, and they said there's nothing they can do.
Nothing they can do? With all our technology, is there no hope at all? Nina, I think you're missing the point.
No, you're missing the point.
We can put a man on Jupiter, but we can't save a simple jacket? Nina, it's not the jacket.
Oh, Maya, it's always the jacket.
Once again, modern Western tailoring has failed us.
Well, I know a man in Chinatown named Mr.
Chan who can sew butter onto toast, even if he is blind and has no thumbs.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
After Jack read his messages, he turned around, and he looked at a photo.
That's what set him off.
That's ridiculous.
Oh, is it? What's the first thing people grab when their house is on fire? Their photo album.
Because that's where their past is, and without it, they're just floating around, completely unconnected in the universe.
That's it.
We're getting you an exhaust fan for the darkroom.
I'm gonna sneak into his office and take the picture just so we can figure this thing out.
Oh, good idea, because nothing cheers my dad up faster than stealing his stuff.
And I'll take a picture of the picture.
Huh? You see this-- What does that mean? Oh, come on, Maya.
It's digital.
It's an extremely complicated process.
I don't have time to explain it to you.
[LAUGHS.]
You have no idea, do you? You open it up and there's no film, Maya! Finch, I need Baxter the intern to run a little errand for me.
Last time he ran a little errand for you, he spent six months in a Mexican jail.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Where's the aspirin? Kitchen.
Yeah.
Kitchen.
Dad, what's wrong? I don't wanna talk about it.
But if you don't talk about it-- I said, I don't wanna talk about it.
Now, go to your office.
I am a grown woman.
You can't just send me to my office.
Don't test me on this.
Fine but I have a phone and a TV in there, so it's no big whoop.
Go over there and distract him.
Just don't talk about Binnie or anything that happened in the '70s.
Just handcuff me, why don't you? Not now, Nina.
Jack.
What? Uh Knock, knock.
Nina, I don't have time for this now.
Okay, I'll do both parts.
Uh knock, knock.
Who's there? Lettuce.
Lettuce who? Uh, lettuce all join hands together and hope that "tomahto" is a better day.
[SNORTS.]
Get out of my way.
Okay.
Jack! What?! Uh Check check this out.
[HUMMING.]
What the hell are you doing? Robot.
[LAUGHS.]
The robot cracks you up, remember? Hi, Dennis.
I brought you some fruit.
You did? I mean whatever.
I hope you like kiwi.
Yeah, I can take it or leave it.
You know, we should go out sometime.
Tell you what.
Maybe.
Oh okay.
Well, I'll just get back to work.
Mm.
Thanks for the kiwi, Connie.
Courtney.
Either way.
Nina, I ran into Baxter.
He picked up my dad's jacket.
Oh, good.
Let's assess the damage.
Oh, we'd better get this back.
Jughead must be freezing.
Pretty beat up.
Well, if anyone can fix it, Mr.
Chan can.
He wields his needle like a samurai, even if he does have one leg and a metal cup where his nose should be.
Finch, has my dad come out again? No, but he got another message from Rhonda.
Ooh.
What'd she say? Uh "I'm sorry.
You're the only one.
Please come on Saturday.
Call me.
" Oh, my God.
I know what's going on.
What? What? He's having an affair.
Oh, please.
The only way he'd have an affair is if he were going through a midlife crisis, which we know he is not.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go take care of his high school jacket.
When was that reservation for? Saturday.
All right, well, let's just see what they have planned for Saturday night-- Oh, hi, Allie, it's Maya.
Listen, I was wondering if you and my dad are free for dinner Saturday night.
Oh, I see.
I see.
Okay, great.
All right.
I'll talk to you later.
Bye-bye.
This is awful.
What? I have to have dinner with Allie.
She says he's seeing friends on Saturday-- the rat is having an affair.
Maya, Maya, look at this.
I enlarged and printed the digital image, which, by the way, is way more complicated than they made it seem on the box.
It's my dad with three guys in a coffee shop.
Yeah, but let's go in closer, huh? Now, look below the sign "World's best blueberry pie," which is a crock, because I'm an expert on blueberry pie, and I happen to know-- All right, get on with it.
You see the waitress? You can't see her face, but look at her name tag.
[GASPS.]
Rhonda! The one fooling around with my father! No.
That's what I thought too, but she's just tying her shoe.
That's creepy.
Uh, this was waiting for you in reception.
"To Dennis, from Courtney.
You complete me.
" What'd you do, give her a kidney? Nina, believe me, I know the recipe for love: one pound of grief, two cups of crap, and sprinkle on the moxie.
And this meal ends how? Like all good meals-- me satisfied, sleepy, and searching for a mint.
Courtney, get out here! I love you, Dennis.
I know you do, baby.
Come here.
From now on, I'm gonna be here for you.
Really? That's great.
We're gonna do things together, take a trip, just the two of us.
A trip? Oh, yeah.
Just me and you.
Uh yeah.
Yeah.
I guess we could do that.
Maybe tonight I'll take you up on that dinner.
I can't tonight.
You can't tonight.
Well, then, how about tomorrow? I don't know.
Please? Call me.
[MOUTHS.]
Call me.
Oh, um, can you pick up my old boyfriend at the airport tomorrow? No.
Yes.
Is Rhonda here? [DOOR CLOSES.]
Okay, Rhonda, I know what you're doing with my dad, and I think you should be ashamed of yourself.
He's a married man, so back off, got it? I'm not Rhonda.
Oh.
Is Rhonda here? Yeah.
She'll be out in a minute.
So you guys claim to have the world's best blueberry pie, huh? I'll be the judge of that.
Oh, no.
The great pie judge is here.
What if you don't like it? I'll have to return to my village in shame.
Come on.
Let's sit down.
All right, fine.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I just can't believe I'm here.
What do you mean? In Brooklyn, in a diner, chasing down some hot young fling.
I thought he changed.
How old were you when your folks split up? Seven.
I remember the night he moved out.
Oh He came into my room.
I pretended I was asleep because I didn't wanna have to say goodbye.
I remember going to the window, watching him get into a cab, and then he was gone.
I'm sorry.
That must have been really tough.
I just don't want Hannah to have to go through that.
Nobody ever should.
Thank you for coming with me.
Hey we're friends.
Whenever you need somebody, I will always be-- Oh, my God.
Look at that.
You wanted to see me? You're Rhonda? That's me, hon.
I'm Maya Gallo, Jack Gallo's daughter.
What do you think of that, Rhonda? You're little Maya? Oh! Oh! Look how pretty you are.
Don't "look how pretty I am!" I wanna know what's going on with you and my father.
Excuse me? I know about your affair with my father.
[LAUGHS.]
You're not having an affair, are you? Well, not with your father Well, then what about all the phone messages and the "see you on Saturday," and the Four Seasons? Oh, well, the suite at the Four Seasons was for Earl.
Whoa.
Your dad has changed.
I don't understand what you're talking about.
Well, it's about the walk.
The what? The walk.
Oh, God.
It must've been Your dad and his three best friends wanted to do something special for their high school graduation, and so they walked across the Brooklyn Bridge.
Oh, I can still picture them coming in, all proud in their varsity jackets.
My dad at 18.
Can you imagine? Ah.
Well, even then, he had the best laugh.
Well, when they left, they said, "We'll see you next year, Rhonda.
" and I thought, "Oh, yeah, yeah.
" But sure enough, a year later on the very same day, they showed up, and every year after that.
That's amazing.
Yeah, oh, I just loved hearing how they were taking the world by storm.
Well, a few years ago, Dave died, but Jack, Mike, and Earl still came.
Wait a minute.
This pie sucks.
My dad got a message from Earl, saying, "I'll see you next month.
" Yeah.
Earl can't make it, and Mike can't either.
No.
Your dad's the last one.
Well, I'm sure it's not the first time they've missed it in 45 years.
Yes, it is.
Excuse me.
I think there's something wrong with the refrigeration in the pie case.
[LAUGHS.]
What? I was supposed to pick up Courtney's boyfriend an hour ago.
Hmm? Yeah.
She's gonna be all over me on Monday.
Sorry I'm late.
I thought we were meeting at Jack's building.
He's so depressed he came to work.
Well, this ought to cheer him up.
Mr.
Chan could sew the clouds into a coat for God, even if he is 4 feet tall and has an extra row of teeth.
Everyone ready? Ready.
Okay, if we're gonna do this, let's do it right.
On the count of three-- One, two, three.
[THUD.]
Oh.
JACK: Who's out there? Okay, Finch, you can back off now.
Oh, sure, you're finished.
What the hell's going on here? Hi, Dad.
Hi.
Hi, Jack.
Well, what are you all doing here on a Saturday? Oh, we were in the neighborhood.
Well, go home.
All right, you're grumpy, I'm fired, blah blah blah.
We know you've been feeling kind of down.
And we were wondering if you weren't busy, maybe you'd like to take a little walk.
A walk? Yeah.
Maybe over the Brooklyn Bridge.
It's a little nippy.
How'd you know? It's not important.
Come on! Try it on.
It looks great.
Well, Mr.
Chan stayed up all night making it perfect.
Even if he is just a floating head in a jar.
We're sorry your friends couldn't make it, Jack.
You wanna hear Earl's big excuse? He has a rose in a flower show.
This, from a guy who once tackled a priest on a dare.
Oh, well.
I guess it was inevitable.
Old traditions Become new traditions.
So are you coming? Let's go.
Oh, Elliott, when you get to Milt's, you're gonna taste the world's best blueberry pie.
I can taste it now.
Who are you calling? Allie, hi.
It's Maya.
Hold on.
Great idea.
Hi, honey, it's me.
Listen, why don't you put Hannah in the stroller and be downstairs in about 10 minutes? We're going for a walk.
[***.]
JACK: I remember this one time we walked into the place, and our regular table was covered with french fries.
See, Dave loved french fries.
We once bet him he couldn't eat a dozen orders.
Ha! * Life keeps bringing me Back to you * * Keeps bringing me home * * It don't matter what I'm gonna do * * 'Cause It's got a mind of its own * * Life keeps bringing me Back to you **
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