Lost In Space (1965) s02e14 Episode Script

[ Man Narrating .]
Last week, as you recall, we left our space family suffering in the grip of a blistering solar heat wave.
All were unaware that an alien Dr.
Frankenstein with his golden monster was soon to disrupt their peaceful world.
- What kind of contraption is that, Dr.
Smith? - It's a punkah, my boy.
Very popular with rajas, pashas, caliphs and similar powerful potentates.
You may share in its cooling breeze if you promise to hold your breathing down to a minimum.
That's a pretty good breeze.
But does it do anything for the Robot? It lowers my thermal balance to a point where all sensors perform at optimum efficiency.
Be still, you babbling birdbrain.
No one is interested in your state of health.
- Have either of you seen Penny? - Well, I haven't seen her since breakfast, Mom.
Would you care to share the blessings of my humble invention, madam? No, thank you.
Pull, ninny.
All right.
[ Sighs .]
Boy, what a time for the air unit to go out.
Yeah, someone sure overloaded it.
You know, you said that as though you think I did it.
That wasn't my meaning.
You're being a little hypersensitive, Don.
Hypersensitive? Oh, now, look-- Oh, dear, I was hoping Penny was up here.
She's not in her cabin.
- Want me to go look for her? - No, no, that's all right, darling.
- You go on with your work.
I'll go.
- All right.
Oh, here's a thirsty one.
You're not gonna die like all the others because of the heat.
I'll see to that.
Here, Debbie, you want to water it? Here we go.
Come on.
There we go.
Isn't that lovely? There.
[ Gasps .]
[ Device Chiming .]
Don't be afraid, little girl.
He won't hurt you.
- Who are you? - I am Sesmar.
This is Raddion.
He's my masterpiece.
Of course, he's not quite ready for exposure yet.
He walked today for the first time.
Course, I didn't give him very much power on his first promenade.
That's why he ended up in such a ridiculous position.
Who are you? - I wanted to keep it alive.
Don't you think it's beautiful? - Beautiful? Beautiful? When things are beautiful, they give you such a thrilling, wonderful feeling.
"Thrilling, wonderful feeling.
" Where exactly is this feeling located? Just all over.
It's a part of you like hope and courage, loyalty, love.
So these feelings are all part of you? Extraordinary.
I wonder if I should give a little of each of them to Raddion.
What would you take for some of these feelings? [ Laughs .]
Oh, you can't buy a person's feelings.
Everybody has their own.
- They do? - Um, I think I'd better get back to the Jupiter 2.
Come on, Debbie.
Come on.
Good-bye.
Feelings, wonderful, beautiful-- Courage, loyalty, love-- Raddion, how would you like to feel the thrill of beauty? The beauty that's in that growth, for instance.
I think she called it a "flower.
" Obviously, you are lacking in feeling.
That must be corrected.
[ Snaps Fingers .]
He's had enough exercise for one day.
Take him back to the ship.
[ Gibberish .]
Those feelings she spoke of call for study.
I must make my laboratory on this planet for a while.
That child may have the very elements I need for Raddion.
But I must find some way to extract them.
Penny! Penny! - Here, Mom.
- Oh! Oh, my goodness.
- I was just about to go back and send out a search party for you.
- Oh, Mom.
Where on earth have you been? Don't you know what this heat can do to you? Heat doesn't affect children as much as grown-ups, Mom.
Obviously not.
Well, at least you had the good sense to bring your canteen with you.
- Where were you? - Oh, Debbie and I were over in Green Rock Canyon.
- I gave most of my water to a flower.
- A flower? And that's not all.
While I was watering it, a strange creature appeared.
- At first I didn't know what he was gonna do.
- A creature? Then Sesmar showed up, and he told me that-- Come on.
You're gonna go home.
I'm gonna put you in a cool bath.
- I think you've got a touch of heatstroke.
- But, Mom-- Come on.
- There.
Okay? - Yeah.
Let's give it a try.
[ Air Blowing .]
Ahh.
It appears that our air-conditioning engineers have finally earned their keep and high time too.
You may rest, you pusillanimous punkah.
Ah, may I share the cool air with you, my dear? - Of course.
- Oh, what a blessing.
What a relief.
I could have had this fixed much earlier, you know, if only I'd had the time.
Oh, I'm sure you could have, Dr.
Smith.
- How's Penny? - Still babbling to Mother about someone called Sesmar.
I tell you-- that heat's made her more kooky than she was before.
Well, a little extra cool air will accelerate her recovery.
- Don't overload it, Dr.
Smith.
- Never fear, Smith is here.
- Ah, it's working.
- Perhaps just a trifle more.
[ Indistinct Shouts .]
[ All Coughing .]
- Who's been fooling with that air-conditioning unit? - Oh, Dr.
Smith tried to-- I was deeply concerned for dear Penny's symptoms of heat prostration.
Don't give me that.
You're never concerned about anyone but Zachary Smith.
- Dr.
Zachary Smith, if you please.
- So you did it for Penny, eh? Smith, in your entire life, you've never done anything for anyone but yourself.
- He let me share his punkah.
- I let him share my punkah.
Your punkah.
Which you made from insulation you stole from our food storage unit.
John, I've had him up to here.
I can't take any more.
Now, either he goes or I do! Oh, now, Don, surely you don't mean that.
Dear friends, rather than place you on the horns of a tragic dilemma and in the interest of harmony I am quite prepared to voluntarily remove myself from the camp.
- Is no one going to stop me? - Well, you did volunteer to leave, didn't you? Yes, I did.
But a few more protestations on your part would not have been amiss.
Well, in a few days when we're all feeling a little less irritable maybe things'll change.
- Not for me, they won't.
- Bah, Major! Oh, the pain, the pain.
Adieu.
Mmm! Lovely.
A series of minor character disorders induced by excessive temperature, that's all it was.
Mmm.
In the morning when their consciences begin to trouble them, they'll come and get me.
Indeed, they will.
Down on your knees, Major, and beg forgiveness.
Not until then will I even consider returning.
Hm! Hmm! Sweet revenge.
[ Gibberish .]
Oh! It's a nightmare.
It must be the heat! Nice work.
Excellent.
Well, which one are you? The little girl's father? The little girl? You mean Penny? Are you the Sesmar she was babbling about? Ah, she told you about it.
Did she also tell you that I tried to buy some of her feeling for beauty, loyalty, love and that sort of thing? My dear sir, I am not the child's father.
I am Dr.
Zachary Smith.
And let me assure you that I have nothing whatever to do with any of them.
As a matter of fact, I've cut myself off from all dealings with them.
- They infuriated me.
- Infuriate? Is that a feeling? A very dangerous one.
I can imitate the actions of a tiger when I'm aroused.
That's very interesting.
But I don't think it would be advisable to give that feeling to Raddion.
[ Gibberish .]
My little laboratory assistants agree with me.
I'm rather proud of those little devils.
After all, I made them out of nothing much but string and baling wire to use one of your Earthbound colloquialisms, Doctor.
- You made them? - Yes, just as I made him.
Come.
Don't touch.
When he is finished, he will be the very acme of organic perfection and beauty.
He will be the prototype for future generations of biophysicists to look up to and try to surpass.
Huh! But they never will.
His life span is practically eternal.
He will be my guard against all dangers.
How exciting.
Tell me, dear sir would you have any interest at all in taking him to Earth? I could be your guide when we got there.
We could surely negotiate a fabulous contract to make hundreds like him.
- A whole army of Raddions-- - Silence! Raddion is unique.
There will never be another like him.
- [ Snaps Fingers .]
- Bring him over here.
Wha-- Wha-- What are you going to do with me? I'm going to find out what other feelings you are capable of, other than infuriation.
But why? No! - [ Device Clicking .]
- They may be useful on Raddion.
Ah.
Sly, lazy, cowardly, sycophantic.
Extraordinary.
There's nothing useful about you at all.
Indeed, sir.
I consider that a deadly insult.
Character assassination! - The worm is turning! - [ Gibberish .]
[ Chuckles .]
You barbarous little devils.
That is an excellent idea.
They suggest that I reduce you to your basic chemistry and put you together again.
They don't approve of your unworthy characteristics any more than I do.
Oh, please, sir, don't fiddle with my chemistry.
I have the deepest admiration for you, the greatest respect for your achievements.
You're flattering me, Smith.
Remarkable how accurate these calipers are.
I made them in my spare time.
You're a genius, master.
Don't bore me with your blandishments, Smith.
- What are you doing? - I'm moving him out so that I can move you in.
Aah! [ Chiming .]
- Stand over there, Raddion.
- [ Chiming .]
- Put him on the table.
- No, no, please.
You can't do this to me.
It's murder! It's nothing of the sort.
It's chemical reduction and transposition.
I'm not going to destroy anything, Smith.
I'm simply going to do a little rearranging.
No, no, please, wait.
Listen to me.
On Earth, I'm an exceptionally wealthy man.
I'd be more than happy to contribute to your studies.
A laboratory in your name? A hospital? A foundation? Oh, dear! [ Indistinct Shouts .]
Please, master.
Don't do this.
I implore you.
I can be very useful to you just the way I am.
- I doubt that.
- But I can! I can! I can get lots of feelings for you-- all the feelings you want.
- Oh? How? - From the others.
All the cardinal virtues you want for Raddion.
Would you allow me to sit up, please? Oh, thank you very much.
How generous you are, sir.
How kind.
Oh, thank you, thank you, sir.
How kind you are.
- Never mind all that.
- Well, I love your home.
You've done it very well.
You be quiet.
What are these virtues, and where do we get them? And they'd better be something useful to Raddion, for your sake.
Virtues, yes, sir.
Virtues.
[ Coughing .]
I'm so dry, sir.
May I have a drink, please? [ Snaps Fingers .]
Ah, yes, there we are.
Lovely.
Mmm! Splendid, lovely, delicious.
Thank you so much.
May I ask what it is? It is the molecular equivalent of mangoes, papayas, passion fruit, hickory nuts all chemically rearranged from the common or garden skunk cabbage.
Skunk cabbage? It has a lovely flavor.
- I'm waiting, Smith.
- Yes, now, let me see.
Feelings, wasn't it? Yes, feelings.
Sound human qualities.
Is that what you want for Raddion? I have already said so.
What about leadership? A little solid technical know-how.
- You can get that from Professor Robinson.
- What else? Mrs.
Robinson has a great capacity for love.
Would you like that? And then there's Judy, so warm and sensitive and young Will, full of enthusiasm and eagerness for learning, and Penny-- - I know all about her.
- Yes, yes, of course you do.
And then there's Major West.
Now there's a man of feelings for you.
Personally, I detest him, but Raddion might be able to use some of his aggressiveness.
Well, sir, there you are.
Now you can go right ahead and chemically reduce them to your heart's content.
- May I go now, please? - No.
What is it you want, sir? Haven't I helped you enough? Not quite.
Some of those qualities may be useful to Raddion.
But the question is how are we going to get them? Well, that is your problem, is it not? No, Smith, it's yours.
You will capture these qualities on this portable transpirator.
You will focus it on them like a camera, without them being aware of what you are doing.
- Not that way around, the other way.
- [ Gasps .]
Ah! There you are.
Don't press that button! Then you will return here.
But I can't.
I've been banished from their camp! Oh, I think a man who can talk himself out of chemical reduction can talk his way into making a few simple transpirations.
[ Snaps Fingers .]
Take him to the detention area.
- When it is light, you will travel with him.
- [ Gibberish .]
- [ Chiming .]
- Ah, Raddion.
What will you not be capable of once we have transpired some of these fine human qualities into you? I thought he might have come back this morning.
Yeah, well if he did, I'd send him right back where he came from.
- Dr.
Smith.
- Shh! Shh.
- [ Gasps .]
- So you came back just as voluntarily as you left, eh, Smith? Gosh, Dr.
Smith, why didn't you tell us you were coming back? - Yes, why did you come back? - Purely for sentimental reasons.
I wanted a picture of all of you to remember you by.
Did you take a picture of me while I was combing my hair? I couldn't resist it, my dear.
You looked so winsome.
And now you, Professor.
What was that for? You looked so characteristically "you" just then-- a man of leadership and authority.
- Let's see that.
- Eh, no, no.
It's a very delicate instrument.
Now you listen to me, Smith-- Oh, no, you don't! Get angry, Major.
Get as angry as you can.
Rave and rant at me! - It'll be marvelous! Come on, Major! - Smith, you put that down or-- There.
A perfect shot.
Thank you very much, gentlemen.
No, I wouldn't waste the film.
I didn't even know Dr.
Smith had a camera like that.
I've never seen one just like it before.
I'd sure like to see what kind of pictures it takes.
Ah, this must be the young boy, Will.
Enthusiasm, eagerness to learn-- It's all here.
- Congratulations, Smith.
- Thank you very much, sir.
- In fact, they're all excellent, except this one.
That must be Major West.
- [ Clatters .]
You know, Smith, you could make an excellent laboratory assistant for me.
It's very kind of you to say so, sir.
I might even be able to help you with Raddion.
Yes, you might, you might.
And I might even impose upon you to make a brief stop at the planet Earth once we leave here-- That is, if my work proves satisfactory, master.
- The planet Earth? Oh, yes, you might, you might.
- At last, at last.
- What was that? - Nothing at all, sir.
Just another expression of my deepest respect for you, master.
Well, let's see what the characteristics that you've captured on these transpiration plates will do for Raddion.
Ah, Raddion.
With these added human qualities, you will not only be unique but you will be the prototype for the man of the future.
[ Device Chiming .]
- Fetch me those flowers I plucked this morning.
- [ Snaps Fingers .]
Raddion what do these flowers do for you? - Beautiful.
Beautiful.
- Magnificent! Why did he do that? He may have an allergy.
That's a human quality, too, you know.
No.
Clearly, personal contact with the donor of these qualities is necessary.
Character transpiration is rather like blood transfusion.
- They must come here.
- You mean, you want me to go back there? No.
This is a task I must perform myself later today.
It's going to require tact a quality which I don't believe is quite "up your alley," as they say.
As they used to say, master.
It's rather dated now.
I want all of you to police this area.
We may have visitors.
[ Chiming .]
[ Yelps .]
Take this, sir.
Well, I may have to do a little planning but before too long, you and I will make wonderful music together.
[ Chiming .]
Ha-ha-ha! Lovely! Ha-ha-ha! Lovely! Soldier, soldier won't you marry me It's, oh, a fife and drum How can I marry such a pretty girl as you When I've got no-- [ Gasps .]
Delightful, perfectly delightful.
- Sesmar.
- Then you haven't forgotten me.
How could I? Everybody told me I was imagining you.
Come on in, and you can prove I wasn't.
- Dad, he's here.
- Oh, not Smith again.
This is the gentleman you wouldn't believe I saw.
His name's Sesmar.
Who are you? What do you want here? Oh, I have lived on this planet for almost a year now, according to your reckoning.
I believe that gives me some sort of eminent domain doesn't it, in your, eh, peculiar terminology? - It's Sesmar, Mom.
- Sesmar.
Oh, well, then you're-- - As you can see, I am quite real.
- What do you want here? You seem to be having some little difficulty with your atmospheric modifier.
- May I? - No! There.
I don't think you should have any more trouble with it now.
What is that? Oh, that's a molecular replicator-- just a miniature, of course.
But here's something that I think you might find useful.
It's a transponder-interrogator.
You might use it in your communication system.
And this is a digitizer.
This you will find enormously helpful.
It will increase the efficiency of your robot.
And I also have an impact predictor.
It might help you to avoid meteor storms during the course of your travels.
Just why are you giving us all these things? As remuneration for those excellent transpirator images of you.
Transpirator images? Did you get those from Dr.
Smith? Oh, he was a most willing worker in the interest of science.
- You mean, in the interest of Smith.
- You must be Major West.
- That's right.
- He's no more fond of you than you are of him.
Well, as you have probably guessed, I'm a biophysicist.
Deposited on those plates are the code symbols of all the qualities that make you what you are.
Sure, and taken without our consent! Only because transpiration is more effective when the subject is unaware of the purpose.
- What purpose is that? - The transpiration of all your fine human qualities into Raddion.
That's the strange creature I saw, Mom.
Ah, but he's no longer strange.
Now he's superb! He would like very much to thank you all in person.
Who is this Raddion, and what have you gotten from us? Come.
See for yourselves.
What do you say, Dad? Shall we go? It's certainly aroused my curiosity.
- Mine too.
- And mine.
- All right.
We'll go.
- John, we can't.
- We go.
- All right, look.
I'm outnumbered.
But if we do go, we're taking the Chariot.
We may need all its firepower.
Warning! Warning! Biophysical experiments extremely dangerous to Earth people! Repeat: Extremely dangerous.
Warning! Warning! That way, please.
I don't like this, John.
I don't like it at all.
Don't you think you're carrying your caution a little too far? No further than his sweet talk.
Would you step into the conveyor tube, please? Welcome to my flying laboratory.
Oh, don't be alarmed, children.
They're stuffed.
Parts of them went into the making of Raddion.
He doesn't look as scary as he did the first time I saw him.
Oh, he's as gentle as a lamb, as human as you are yourselves.
He is my life's work.
My masterpiece.
He is the ideal organism.
He is perfection itself.
But without human qualities, he would be just another android-- as ordinary as that robot of yours.
Our Robot's not ordinary.
I'm glad to hear you say that.
It shows loyalty.
A very desirable quality for Raddion.
Thank the young man, Raddion.
I thank you.
You're welcome.
- He sure has a warm handshake.
- A human handshake.
Now thank the ladies, Raddion.
I thank you.
I thank you.
Now thank the lovely lady over there.
Maureen, wait.
John, I don't like this handshaking business.
- It's just a formality.
- Exactly.
Oh, fine.
All right.
I'm going back to the ship.
I'll pick up some gear.
I'll meet you at the drill site.
Raddion is waiting to thank you, Mrs.
Robinson.
- I thank you, Mrs.
Robinson.
- You're very welcome.
Mrs.
Robinson, I understand that the strongest force in your world is love.
It is.
I'm very glad you have given it to Raddion.
Now thank Professor Robinson, Raddion.
I thank you.
Who appointed you meteorologist? I am self-appointed, by default of others.
- What others? - All others.
- Oh, that's just great! - Someone has to mind the store.
- Is there any more paper? - Does it matter? If you two are finished with this very important job it might be a good idea to clean up this mess.
- Why? - What difference does it make? What difference does anything make? Listen you two, that's not funny.
I want this swept up now.
- We'll do it later.
- I said now, Penny.
Do you hear me? Now! - What's the matter with him? - It's just one of his eager-beaver days.
He'll get over it.
Hey, what's the big idea? I expected you to join me at the drill site a couple of hours ago.
- I guess I forgot.
- That's not all you forgot.
- Oh? - For one thing, how to behave like the commander of this ship.
Don, what's the matter with you? Do you know that all our instrumentation was in an "off" position? So what? What's so important about that? Do you realize what you're saying? That's like saying that survival isn't important! John, I don't like the way you're acting.
Something's not right around here.
You're acting like you're in cloud-cuckoo-land somewhere and nothing matters.
You haven't heard me complaining, have you? This all started when you shook hands with that so-called gentle Raddion.
I don't like the way you're acting, any of you! It's-- Don't you understand? Sesmar wanted your fine human qualities for that ape, and he got 'em.
You know how? By depriving you of 'em.
- That's plain ridiculous! - It is, huh? You want some proof? All right.
I'll get it.
- [ Gibberish .]
- Splendid! You are an apt pupil! Very, very good.
Faster! Faster! [ Chiming .]
Stop that! What is the meaning of this? What have you done to Raddion? - I'm waiting for an answer.
- We were just having a bit of harmless fun, master.
By turning Raddion into a clown? How dare you! Where's my remote control? I-- I borrowed it.
Look at him.
Behaving like a sentimental dolt.
Isn't that one of the qualities you wanted him to have? No, it isn't! I see now what I did wrong.
I gave him all the good human qualities and none of the bad ones.
He'll need some of those to cope with people like you.
- Raddion! - [ Chiming .]
Guard this Earthling.
Come here.
Now listen carefully.
I have a very important task for you.
[ Gibberish .]
Ah, an ideal combination.
A little of Smith's cunning, a touch of your pugnacious qualities, Major and Raddion should be fully equipped to survive in any hostile environment.
I want you to know, Sesmar, that the minute I'm out of this mess you and that precious masterpiece of yours have had it! Don't threaten him, Major.
He can easily reduce us to our basic chemistry.
Just my luck-- being hooked up with a spineless character like you.
Far too good for you! Ah, that should be perfect.
I caught you both in your most characteristic attitudes.
Well, let us see what this plate will do for Raddion.
[ Chiming .]
Thank the gentlemen, Raddion.
- No! No! - [ Snaps Fingers .]
I thank you.
- I thank you.
- Oh! Let me go! Take them away.
Stand guard over them until I can think of some other use for their bodies.
- Doomed! Hopelessly doomed! - Shut up, Smith! No need to be rude, Major.
We have to be very careful with each other now.
- Yeah, Sesmar's buddy system.
- [ Yelps .]
Well, how do we get out of this? You're supposed to be the electronic genius.
You tell me.
- That's funny.
- What's funny? Well, I haven't changed.
Neither have you.
- He didn't depersonalize us the way he did the others.
- What do you mean? Well, I'm just as mad as I ever was.
And you? Well, you're just as unbearable.
- Spare me the poisonous barbs, Major.
- You know, I think I know why.
He told us the transpiration is only effective when the subject is unaware of its purpose.
- Well, we were aware.
- Then Raddion does not have our human qualities? He may, and he may not.
There's only one way to find out.
Ask him to help us.
Somehow we've got to find a way to get those transpiration plates out of his hide.
If we can do that and destroy them, well, maybe the Robinsons will become what they were.
Hmm, maybe that'll do it.
The least you can do is let me know when you're planning something.
See that machine over there, Smith? That activated these magnetic manacles when he locked us in.
If we can get Raddion to turn it on again I think I've got a way to short-circuit it.
Allow me, Major.
I understand these things much better.
Diplomacy was never your strong point.
Raddion? Dear Raddion.
Raddion, these manacles appear to be just a little tight.
I know your master wouldn't want us to injure our wrists.
He might want to use them.
- I'll tell my master.
- No, no, no, no, Raddion.
Why don't you do it yourself? I know your master will be delighted if you exercise a little independent thinking.
Yes, master would be delighted.
[ Groaning .]
[ Groaning .]
- [ Gibberish .]
- [ Chiming .]
- Give that back to me.
- We'd better surrender.
- Drop that torch.
- I want those transpiration plates, and I want 'em now.
All right.
I will give them to you.
But I must have the remote-control unit.
Okay, but don't try anything funny, or you'll all be nothing but cinders.
- Cinders! - Give it to him, Smith.
You realize that you're ruining a magnificent experiment.
Never mind the beautiful experiment.
Just get me those plates.
Come on! Hurry it up! - [ Chiming .]
- Seize them! Aah! Raddion, come! Stop, Raddion, stop! [ Groaning .]
I thought I'd rendered them passive.
Oh, well, everything's imperfect in this imperfect universe.
Aah! Aah! I can't go another step! I'm completely exhausted! - What do you want me to do? Give you a fireman's carry? - Would you, please? - Come on! - Oh! Oh, dear.
Oh! Oh, oh! - Why are we stopping here? - To wait for Raddion.
- He'll destroy us! - On the contrary.
We'll destroy him, and those plates, once we get a chance.
- Oh! I think I'm going to faint.
- Save it for later, Smith.
Here, let's try to get this off.
Raise your arm.
- [ Groaning .]
- No! Wait! There he is! Let's go! - No, we've got to stay here and wear him down.
- He's bigger and stronger.
- He'll wear us down.
I think we should go! - Quiet! - Raddion, I want to talk to you.
- Talk? You're in pretty bad shape.
Maybe I can fix you up.
You are not Sesmar.
No, but I've got a pretty good knowledge of electronics.
If you come over here, I'll see what I can do for you.
I come.
But first you throw away torch.
He's still got plenty of you left in him, Smith.
Well, here's our chance.
It didn't affect him a bit.
Let's get back to the ship.
- What ship? - Come on! Oh! - Aah! Not so fast, Major! Our tendons are linked! - Come on! Quickly! - How did you two get together? - Never mind.
Raddion's after us.
- Who's Raddion? Go inside and take it easy.
- We need a laser gun.
- You know where they are.
- What? - Come on, Smith.
What are you planning to do, Major, with this laser? Oh! - Oh, no! - Shoot these manacles off us.
Have you taken leave of your senses? I'm too young to die.
I will not allow it! - Smith, come back here! - No! No! Aah! - John! Be still.
- Aah! Careful, careful, careful.
[ Laser Blasts .]
- Thanks.
I'm finally rid of you, Smith.
- That goes double for me, Major.
[ Loud Groaning .]
There's Sesmar's perfect man now-- the one you helped to create, John.
No, it's no use.
It won't have any affect on him.
- Android? - I am a robot.
- Robot? - Affirmative.
- Friend? - That statement does not compute.
I am brave, strong, cunning.
I tell lies.
I also tell truth.
- I am very loyal.
You will be loyal? - Negative.
Do not refuse my friendship or else.
It's all right.
He's deactivated.
John, I-I don't know what's been going on but I feel as though I've been on a vacation from the living - and have only just returned.
- So do I.
- I feel the same way.
- Me too.
Don, I feel as if I've hurt you in some way.
Is that true? [ Sesmar .]
Raddion! Raddion! - [ Chiming .]
- What have you done to him? You did it to him, Sesmar.
You wanted too much from him.
- My whole life's work shorted out.
- [ Snaps Fingers .]
[ Gibberish .]
You are right.
I wanted to make him all powerful and in doing so, I corrupted him and myself.
My laboratory's wrecked! Well, I must return to my home and start all over again.
You wouldn't consider selling him, I suppose? - Make us an offer.
- Smith! Well, back to the drawing board.
You're far from a bargain at any price.
Aren't you going with the master? I thought you were ready to give him everything.
I've had a change of heart.
I couldn't bear to think of the sadness - I'd leave behind if I were to go.
- [ Laughing .]
How dare you laugh at me, you cantankerous coldhearted clump! A strong cold front is headed in this direction and should produce intermittent showers and occasional thunderstorms during the night.
Temperature will fall to freezing level as the cold front moves inland.
- Barometric pressure is-- - Who appointed him meteorologist? That was my job! Yeah, along with the rest of the chores you've neglected lately.
I guess it was the weather.
Don't you think you'd better tell him what really happened? That is, if you feel like being headman again.
[ Laughs .]
Yes, I'm gonna call a meeting.
And there's gonna be one item on the agenda-- human qualities, and how they can't be bought, sold, traded or given away.
Remove yourself, you bubbleheaded booby.
- This meeting is only for those with human qualities.
- Which includes you out.
What? Unhand me at once, you Judas! We've enjoyed some delightful experiences together and some tragic ones, too, I might add.
You're not very romantic.
Don't you know what time of year this is? It's May-- springtime.
- Not on this unhappy planet.
- I was talking about Earth.
Ah, Earth.
Springtime at home.
Walking hand in hand through nature's wonderland.
Oh, my.
What wouldn't I give at this very moment for even the lowly hot dog with mustard and onions and literally smothered in relish? - You're back to eating again.
- My dear child, you have your important memories.
Please permit me to have mine.
Now we'd best start back to camp.
All this talk of food has brought on a ferocious appetite.
Uh, I think the spaceship's that way, Dr.
Smith.
My sense of direction is infallible.
This way.
- Oh, Dr.
Smith, wait.
Look at this one.
- [ Sniffs .]
- Mm.
Wanna smell it? - Very well.
Give it here.
- [ Sneezes .]
My allergy! - [ Laughs .]
Oh! Penny! Oh, Dr.
Smith, what is it? - It must've just landed.
- I don't care when it got here.
I want nothing to do with it.
- Aren't you just a little bit curious? - Not in the least.
Not only did curiosity kill the cat, but it's done in a goodly number of humans as well.
- [ Warbling .]
- That thing on top, it's moving! - I don't like it.
- There's someone inside.
- I don't like it at all.
- [ Male Voice .]
Come no closer.
- We don't mean you any harm, sir.
We're friends.
- Indeed, we are.
I have no friends.
- They're cannons! - Cannons? - And they're pointing straight at us! - Don't shoot! I'm innocent and so is she! It's gonna fire! No! No!