The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e14 Episode Script

1
Master Metori!
I'm playing dominoes with bills.
Don't interrupt me.
-An elephant has arrived for you!
-It's cash on delivery.
-Oh, right.
-You bought it?
Without your father's permission
No!
My dad can't be bothered
with something so trivial.
-That's true.
-Dad!
Metori, no need to concern yourself
with trivial matters.
It's about time for you
to participate in our family tradition.
The final training of the Saiko family.
Training?
Classes are finally over.
Let's go and eat ramen.
Every single day you want ramen.
Is that all you can
It's Saiko.
There you are. Idiot plebe,
four-eyed plebe, and midget plebe.
Who's a midget plebe?
I won't put up
with your ridiculous nicknames. Let's go!
See you later, rich kid.
That nickname is kind of lame, too.
Hey, wait, you plebes.
Don't respond to that.
You've come to my house once before,
haven't you?
-Yes, we did.
-Did you forget?
Rejoice. I'll give you the privilege
of escorting me home.
What the hell?
Just have your chauffeur take you home.
What?
You're in the middle of a training
where you have to live 24 hours
without using your family's wealth?
So that's why your chauffeur isn't here,
and you can't get home
so you need an escort?
Thanks for the exposition.
You're calling us plebes over and over
even though you don't have money either?
Also, you don't know where you live?
What a moron you are.
Forget it!
I shouldn't have asked you plebes.
Hold up, we'll take you home.
Yes, it's actually pretty rough
getting by with no money.
Seriously. What did my dad
expect me to do?
He only gave me 10,000 yen.
You have money!
What? This is just 10,000 yen.
It's basically the same as no money.
That's the biggest bill in Japan!
Ten thousand yen can only buy
one spoonful of caviar
and is only worth two grams in solid gold!
Your standards are off.
I was wrong to feel bad for you.
Why are you getting in a taxi?
How else would we get home?
By walking, obviously!
-By walking
-What's with that reaction?
Now you're surprising me!
To him, walking feels
like being a fish living out of water.
Nendo, why are you carrying him?
Well, I remembered I'm actually
one of his henchmen.
-Henchmen?
-Oh, right. That time.
As if I enjoy
riding this uncomfortable donkey.
-If you don't have anything to eat,
-Buck him off, donkey.
-want to go eat ramen with us?
-We're taking this guy along?
Ramen?
That food loved by plebes?
I will never eat that.
What will you eat?
I suppose a spoonful of caviar
will have to last me three meals.
Don't you eat anything other than caviar?
Try ramen. It's good.
Noodles soaked in a rich pork broth,
combined with a juicy egg and tender meat.
It's a real savory masterpiece.
Japan's most beloved national food!
Yes, ramen is really good.
You take these long noodles
that look like worms
and mix them in this liquid
made from the bones of dead animals.
It's the best.
How did you manage
to make it sound so disgusting?
Well, I suppose my dad's plan was for me
to experience life as a plebe.
I don't want to go, but I have no choice.
Take me there.
This guy is such a jerk!
We're here.
What's with the swarm of plebes?
Aren't we going inside?
What? That's why we're standing in line.
We're waiting our turn.
What is that?
-Stand in line?
-Can't he even talk?
Me? Wait for my turn?
Well, yes.
I won't stand to wait in line
together these plebes!
Welcome!
Everyone, leave now!
I'm buying out this restaurant
for the afternoon!
Are you the chef here?
I'm sure a place like this
won't be suited to my tastes,
but just for today
ROAST PORK
-How dare you?
-I'm so sorry.
-This guy is an idiot.
-I'm sorry.
What were you thinking?
We were about to be banned from the place!
Fine, I'll wait for 30 minutes.
You all entertain me while we wait.
Hell no!
I'll do some improv. The interview.
-Seriously.
-Too ordinary. Try again.
Thirty minutes eventually passed,
and they were
-finally seated.
-Okay, leave this to me.
Four orders of ramen, and one rice!
If they serve me bad food,
I'll put them out of business.
Four orders of ramen.
Try it, it's good.
I did wait for 30 minutes for this.
I'll give it a shot.
Although I already know it'll be terrible.
It was 780 yen, after all.
I'm suspicious of putting such cheap food
in my mouth.
But this is part of my training
to become the king of this country.
Hot!
-What is this? It's hot!
-Will they ever shut up?
THE NEXT DAY
You've had a long day, master.
I had to rely on plebes to take me around.
It was horrendous.
For dinner tonight,
I'll prepare anything you want.
In that case,
make me some ramen.
At PK Academy, there are currently
three students with psychic powers.
I'm sorry, but I can't go out with you.
-Please reconsider!
-I already considered it.
Think about it again! For a week!
That kind of desperation
is such a turn-off.
Women are so difficult.
Reita Toritsuka, the spirit medium.
What, 20,000 yen? But you said
it was 1,500 for the first time.
No, you took an extra 15 minutes.
Besides, this is a bargain!
You get to find out about your future.
Mikoto Aiura, the fortune-teller.
I hit it! It's going far!
Oh, no! Watch out!
Kusuo Saiki, the psychic.
The PK Academy Psychic Kids.
EPISODE 1
FIND IT, PSYCHIC KIDS
We have a problem, Saiki!
Why does this feel like
a filler episode arc?
Forget about that.
The sixth cutest girl
in our class, Matsuura,
has lost her cat!
Forget about that.
PK Academy Psychic Kids, move out!
I'm not going to play along.
Hey, Saiki, please! We need you!
Wow, you guys.
You can't even find a single cat?
That's a disgrace on our name,
Psychic Kids.
Who approved of this "Psychic Kids" name?
Hey! Don't get cocky
just because you're hot.
We don't need Kusuo for this.
Just give me a few seconds.
Look, there it is!
It's about 300 meters ahead, to the right.
So, it's just a map app.
EPISODE 2
CATCH IT, PSYCHIC KIDS
Found it!
Piece of cake!
Finding things is my specialty.
Come here!
Scary!
That's an intense close-up.
If you get any closer, I'm out of here.
I've got it covered.
I'll show you the power
of a spiritual medium.
I summon an animal researcher!
-Come here.
-You summoned someone who's still alive.
It ran away!
Come here, kitty.
So annoying. How far did it run?
-What?
-You can put that away.
This is a pain, so I took care of it.
The cat! You found it!
How did you catch it?
Nothing special, really.
I used my clairvoyance to locate the cat,
teleported there,
and used my psychokinesis
to capture it before it could escape.
-Right, nothing special.
-Right, nothing special.
Seriously, are we even needed here?
At this rate, we can't call ourselves
the Psychic Kids!
Yes, don't call us that.
Well, it's not that
you were completely useless.
My clairvoyance can only pick up
things I've already seen once before.
I could only track it down
because you found it first.
Kusuo.
Saiki! How about me?
You just did a bad imitation
of an animal researcher.
You were useless.
EPISODE 4
BREAK UP, PSYCHIC KIDS
Saiki, I hate you! We're through!
The two of us are enough
to be the Psychic Kids.
Just drop that name already.
Unlike you two, I don't want to stand out.
I don't care about using my powers
to help people.
Don't drag me into this foolishness.
Hey, wait up!
How rude. What?
What's this?
It's so bright, it's overwhelming!
Is this a vision?
I've never seen this before.
This could be a real disaster.
This is no time to break up.
I have to let those two know.
I have to reach them!
No way! She's not wearing a bra!
SUPER SALE
A sale on coffee jelly,
a three-pack for 79 yen?
She did not reach them.
So, she texted them instead.
-A train going off the rails?
-When? Which train?
I looked into it
while I was waiting for you.
We have three minutes.
An express train bound for Hanno.
It departed at 5:33.
It already left the station.
Then we're too late! What'll we do?
Not my fault!
You took forever to get here!
No, we can make it.
-I can, anyway.
-What?
-We're on top of the train!
-Calm down.
What? Kusuo, where did you go?
-We're on top of the train.
-On top of it?
What's the cause of the accident?
According to newspapers from the future,
it was going too fast.
Got it.
Toritsuka, you're up.
Summon an experienced conductor
to drive this train.
Me? But you can stop this train, too!
I can, but it would be messy.
It would be risky
to forcibly stop such a crowded train.
This is your chance.
Fine, I'll do it!
Summoning!
Channeling an experienced conductor!
Leave the train to me. Let's go!
This is our final stop, Hanno.
Thank you for riding with us today.
Good, crisis averted.
How did I do?
Do you recognize me now
as a legitimate member
of the Psychic Kids, Saiki?
What are you doing there?
Wait, listen to me
The adventures of the PK Academy
Psychic Kids will continue.
Saiki, all of the clubs
must submit their reports.
I'm not in any clubs.
Don't slack off on the Occult Club.
Oh, right!
I was still pretending to do that.
But only presidents and vice presidents
submit reports, right?
You're the president.
-What?
-That's what Toritsuka said.
He said you became the president.
That bastard.
MEETING ROOM
That will be all for today.
That idiot. I'm going to turn him
into an actual ghost.
A perfect fit for the Occult Club.
Hey, Saiki.
Looks like Yumehara
was roped into being vice president.
Thanks for helping!
Toritsuka never shows up.
And you won't see him anymore
at school either.
You should show up to the club more, too.
-It's always just me and Arisu.
-What?
-The two of us wait every day.
-Every day?
We're left wondering
whether you guys will show up.
Always waiting, just the two of us.
Why don't you come? Why?
Did you forget about us?
-You don't like us?
-That took a turn. You became terrifying.
All right, I got it.
You're going to come? Yes!
The one I really want is Kaido,
but this is fine.
-Better than nothing!
-I want to go home.
-That's our club room!
-We had a club room?
-You'll be surprised at the inside.
-Surprised?
I've retrieved his hair.
-Just her and Arisu? It must be creepy.
-Today, I can make 30 more dolls.
-Here!
-What?
Oh, Saiki! It's nice to see you!
Who the hell is this?
Arisu, you're here!
-That's Arisu Makino?
-I wanted to ask you
-She has changed.
-about boys.
-So Arisu is the one who was changed.
-You're making progress?
-Tainted by Yumehara.
-A little, but he's ignoring my texts.
Let's interview some boys today
and find out how men really think.
-Yes, Yumehara!
-She hasn't changed for the better.
The other day I saw Ayabe with a girl,
and texted him, "Who is she?"
And he ignored you, I see.
I mean, you're not even dating him, so
But we've been flirting!
Maybe you're being too pushy?
Saiki, what do you think? As a boy.
I couldn't care less.
-I'm so bored.
-Want to text him again?
-This doesn't feel like Occult Club.
-I can't handle that.
I know! Let's try the usual.
-We can ask Sayaka.
-What the heck is that?
Let's play, Sayaka.
Let's have a chat, Sayaka.
Here's some sweet red water.
Well, this is something.
Sayaka, will I hear back from Ayabe?
That turned occult real fast.
What is that thing anyway?
She said yes!
That's great! Arisu, what a relief.
This occult vibe. I get it.
These two have been absorbing
the worst aspects of each other.
If we need to, we'll purge.
Purge?
This is getting darker than I expected.
-I'm out of here.
-Saiki, where are you going?
You can't leave while Sayaka is here.
-Sayaka might curse you.
-Seriously, what the hell is Sayaka?
You should try consulting her too!
Maybe something about dating.
We want to hear about you, too!
This is scary in a different way.
So tell us. You must have a crush
on somebody, right?
Of course, he does. Right?
Stop trying to push this topic onto me.
I know! This is a good chance.
I'll find out what he thinks of Kokomi.
Maybe not a crush,
but is there somebody
that you think is really cute?
-No.
-Nobody? Maybe a girl whose name
starts with "t" and ends with "i"?
Why can't you figure out
who I'm talking about?
No, your questioning just lacks any tact.
Try harder.
He's hiding something!
We have no choice.
We'll ask Sayaka.
Back to this again.
Who does Saiki like?
It's going to "te"! See, there is someone!
The first syllable is "te."
-She's moving it herself.
-We'll get you to confess.
The next syllable is "ru."
"Teru"?
Wait, that vocalist?
There's more.
Next is "ha."
-Almost done!
-You're right.
What's the final one?
What? How do you know?
-Teruha
-Teruha
-"N"?
-"N"?
-I'm Teruhan!
-Teruhan?
Who the hell is that?
A random monk appeared.
Good grief. You might anger Sayaka.
Let's try again.
-I can't see anything!
-Hey!
Is this a sign?
It might be.
Why did the lights
What's going on?
Sayaka is angry!
Because I messed with the ritual
How could you?
My face is shattered.
Why did you do this to me?
Arisu, did you say something?
No, did you?
-Then who's that talking?
-You're so mean to me.
-Don't you like me?
-It's not there!
Where is it?
Die!
OCCULT CLUB
I'm sorry! Please forgive us!
That was me, of course.
I used my telepathy.
I'm sure they won't venture back here
after a scare like that.
Now I don't have to deal with Occult Club.
I'm finally done.
No, it couldn't be.
Wake up! It's time for breakfast.
It's Sunday,
let me sleep for a little longer.
Wake up.
An angel?
-What?
-Oh, it's you.
You looked like an angel.
Oh, stop it, you!
Sorry.
You're more beautiful than an angel.
Kento Yamazaki?
Oh, for a second, I thought
you were Kento Yamazaki.
Me? Oh, come on.
-Good grief. Let's eat breakfast.
-You're handsome as always.
-Looks like this will take while.
-You're beautiful.
You're 100 times more amazing than me.
Don't be silly, you're 1,000 times
more amazing than me.
-I'll just eat first.
-Impossible! My love for you
is bigger than your love for me.
I'm glad to hear it,
but my love is bigger.
No, my love for you
is on another dimension.
You thought I was Kento Yamazaki,
but I saw you as an angel,
that's not even human anymore.
You just dreamt it.
I saw it while I was awake.
That means mine is greater.
I love you more!
No, I love you more!
They're still at it.
Why don't you get it? I'm so mad at you!
I'm mad at you too!
See! For you to get mad at me so easily,
-that's not love.
-But
They're idiots.
Good grief. Are they actually fighting?
They were lovey-dovey just a second ago.
Can you pass me the sugar?
Get it yourself.
Thought so. It's a fight.
You're so cold.
You don't love me very much after all.
Wait, that's too much!
I can't drink this anymore!
I lovingly poured you this sugar,
but you can't drink it?
You must not love me much.
This is getting out of hand.
You'll make your beloved husband
drink something like this?
You want me to die an early death?
Of course not.
But I won't stop you
if you want to drink it.
Because I respect you so much.
If I want to drink it?
You can't even understand
your beloved husband's feelings.
But it's coffee I lovingly poured for you.
You must drink it.
Good grief. This is ruthless.
I'm not going to step in, you know.
Fine, I'll drink it!
Look! This is how much I love
Hey! I'm trying so hard
but you're not even looking!
It's so hard to watch my beloved husband
suffer like this.
I can't watch.
Let's settle this.
Fine. We need a third party.
Well, I'll just go outside to play ball.
-Ku!
-Kusuo!
The love meter is a device
that works off telepathy.
It can quantify
just how strong someone's feelings are.
Can you stop explaining it
as if they're your powers?
With this, it will be clear
whose love is strongest.
You're on.
I'll make you understand
that my love for you is
the greatest in the world.
Bring it on. My feelings for you
are second to none.
What is this a battle for?
I'll go first!
Flexing won't help.
It's 28,000?
You already broke the scale.
It's reaching 38,000. Impossible!
This is my full power!
Nothing changed.
I told you flexing won't help.
To think that he would reach
38,019 lovely points
Lovely points?
Behold the power of my love.
If you want to give up, now's your chance.
You wouldn't think to just let her win?
Don't underestimate me.
Like I said,
my love for you is second to none!
It's surpassing
35,000 lovely points already!
To think that her love
would be so powerful,
it makes me so happy!
But at this rate, I'll lose.
In that case
All right, I win.
Wait! You cheated.
You farted on purpose to lower my score.
I don't know what you mean.
Besides, is your love so fickle
that it would be affected by a fart?
You fought well!
What can I do?
He sabotaged my score.
Then
-Wait!
-What is it?
Oink!
-How cute.
-It backfired.
That won't do anything to my love for you!
Are we done now?
-What?
-Your lovely points are increasing?
She's tied with me!
Why
I see!
She's not bitter, she's happy!
He loves me that much.
The joy of realizing
my true feelings for her raised
-her score!
-This could go on forever.
Can we just call it a tie?
Don't be ridiculous!
Let's find a different way.
True love means
that you must love our child
as much as you love me.
Let's see who loves Kusuo more.
Wait, this could end poorly for me.
Oh, let's not do that.
Wow, you gave up fast.
Let's see your score!
I surrender! You win!
-I'm sorry!
-Hey, wait!
Good grief, so it's finally over?
Mom definitely turned on the device,
but the score hasn't changed.
What is this?
The meter must be broken.
Come back!
PK ACADEMY, ART ROOM
-Like this?
-Not bad, transfer student.
I doodled a lot of characters
from Dragon Ball when I was a kid.
I can draw anything.
Do Burter next.
A niche choice.
Burter's like that, right?
Yes, that's him!
I drew Goku!
Apologize to Dragon Ball's artist.
I'm going to have you sketch today.
I'm not a fan of art class.
For example,
I can perfectly draw anything I see.
But if I submit this,
he'll think I just traced it.
So I usually just copy
someone else's picture.
Split off into pairs
and draw each other's portraits.
That makes it hard for me
to just copy someone else's picture.
I'll look for someone with a generic face.
-Hey, let's pair up.
-Not him.
Hey, where you are going?
I would end up drawing him too exactly.
Hey, let's pair up.
-Nakajima, pair with me.
-Hey
-Hey, Hairo
-Zolbe!
Let me draw your portrait!
I'll settle for this loser.
Hey, Saiki, I
I'll draw him exactly too.
-It can't be helped.
-Hey, Kaido
Will you let me draw you?
What? But I'm with Saiki.
I'll find someone else.
Hey, Saiki!
Who is left without a partner?
He'll do.
He ignored me?
I haven't been this angry in years.
Hey, Saiki,
if you haven't found someone yet,
do you want to pair with me?
No. Wait, why is Teruhashi still
I haven't found anyone yet, either.
That's not possible.
-Teruhashi! Please pair up with me!
-Pair up with me!
Look, you have plenty of suitors.
-This doesn't look anything like her!
-I can't do it.
I'm in the art club, but even I can't
-That's why I haven't paired up yet.
-capture her beauty.
Oh, that's the trouble.
Hey! Who's that?
-I'm so jealous!
-Why's she with Saiki?
Just imagining it makes me gasp!
-You better make it good.
-We'll take a look when it's done.
This is the worst.
To be paired up with Teruhashi
I would have preferred Nendo.
This is the best.
I didn't think this plan would go so well.
Drawing each other
is my chance to stare into Saiki's eyes!
But that means he can see me, too!
Was I smirking just now?
Calm down. I can't let my feelings show.
Yes, I'm fine now.
Look at me!
I don't have time to waste.
I have to draw something.
First, an outline.
Oh, I accidentally finished
30% of her face perfectly.
-I have to try again.
-Even Saiki!
First, an outline.
An egg-shaped circle.
That's already an egg.
Add an eye. That's scary.
Mess it up a little here. Fix that.
No, but
How did it turn out like this?
He still can't draw me?
Not even Saiki can express
my beauty with his drawing.
It's understandable.
Of course, you wouldn't be able
to capture my essence.
But I'll wait.
You have to draw, too.
Oh, right! I have to draw Saiki.
Well, it's Saiki.
I'm actually pretty good at drawing,
so this is easy.
Like this, I guess.
Why did it turn out like this?
This is Saiki?
I was trying to make him more handsome,
but this is someone else.
And what are these flowers?
I can't show this to him.
No. I can't! I can't!
Teruhashi, how is it coming?
My feelings are too transparent!
Teruhashi?
I'm sorry! I couldn't get the eyes right.
Both continued to struggle,
and 30 minutes passed.
Like this?
Kind of bland.
I mean, he is actually bland, so
Maybe I should add some flowers?
What? This is me?
You even drew flowers!
The background needed something, so
But why flowers?
Just because.
So, Yumehara likes Kaido.
I'm glad I didn't draw flowers.
I still haven't come up with anything.
If I copy someone's portrait of Teruhashi,
I'm sure they'll notice.
Nobody is looking?
I have an idea!
Like this, and done!
The balance is off, but it's fine.
A lot of people were drawing
Teruhashi earlier.
I combined all of them
into a single portrait.
This way, nobody will notice.
What?
Kuboyasu's drawing was mixed in. Crap!
Saiki finished.
-Let's take a look!
-Damn it. It's over.
-It's totally blank!
-But, wait!
-I get it!
-Get what?
This blank canvas
represents Teruhashi's purity!
Wow, I see it!
And this whiteness
also represents her radiance!
So deep!
Staring into this canvas
evokes the Teruhashi in everyone's heart!
-Saiki, you're brilliant!
-Saiki, you get an A!
Art makes no sense.
Just draw me normally.
NEXT TIME
Next time, we have a story about
ordinary Satou's baseball team.
Let's play baseball together, pal.
-Looks like you need my help.
-Hey, come on. Let's play.
We'll lose anyway,
so it's okay if Kaido plays.
-Hey, come on. Hey.
-Wait, it's not okay.
Hey, pal.
Subtitle translation by Takuya Sawaoka