The Guardian (2001) s02e14 Episode Script

Understand Your Man

And, uh, the bartender says "You know, we've got a drink named after you.
" And, uh, the grasshopper says, "Really, uh, a Larry Evans?" The grasshopper's name is Larry Evans.
Now, with no further ado I would like to introduce Mr.
Burton Fallin our lifetime achievement award winner.
Burton.
~ For he's a jolly good fellow ~ ~ For he's a jolly good fellow ~ ~ For he's a jolly good fellow ~ ~ Which nobody can deny ~ BURTON: Thank you.
Please.
Thank you very much.
The real heroes here tonight, the real achievers, are you people.
For that, I thank you very much.
I salute you.
Keep up the good work.
Thank you very much.
ALVIN: Congratulations.
And tonight, Burton, I am pleased to report that we have raised $79,000.
Uh, the money will go to help maintain the high level of free legal service that we provide.
Thank you.
Keep it up.
OK.
Thanks, Alvin.
Congrats.
- Thanks.
- ALVIN: Amy Heckt Wow, lifetime achievement.
Burton, I put a bid on your antique law books.
How much, uh how much did you bid? A little over one hundred dollars.
Good.
One hundred? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I told her it was, uh, it was too much.
ALVIN: Ms.
Amy Heckt.
Mrs.
Gressler.
It's so nice that you and Burton stayed in touch.
I'm living with him.
Oh.
So many times in our line of work we meet nice people, and we never see them again.
AMY: So here it is.
A little over a year ago, I was a drug addict.
I had a baby, Charlie, born addicted to cocaine.
Social services took him away right when he was born and I ended up back on the streets just a few days later doing terrible things for money.
Terrible things.
But I don't know, I just l l I just couldn't stop thinking about my baby.
So I heard about Legal Services, and I got clean.
A month ago, I got custody of my son.
All thanks to these people and and especially Mr.
Masterson.
- Thank you.
- Good job.
Thank you so much.
JAKE: Your story.
It's amazing.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me.
Wine, sir? No.
My back is out.
I'm taking codeine.
Oh.
Oh, no, thanks.
So you you grew up in Pittsburgh? Yeah.
I went to Keystone Oaks.
K.
O.
? Get out.
So did I.
Really? When? I, uh, jeez, I graduated in eighty-four.
Ninety-five.
I would have.
Yeah.
Graduated.
So so you had Mr.
Polenko and Mr.
McNeill? No.
L I was taking votech classes.
I took some of those.
Uh, metal shop and car repair and wood shop.
You took those? Well, my dad.
He's in plumbing supplies.
And, uh, he thought it might be smart if after high school, I came and worked with him.
But you didn't No.
I didn't do that, no.
I, um, l I went to college and then, I went on to law school.
See.
That is what we're talking about.
We can do these things.
Yes, we can.
Hey.
So, um do you want to go for a cup of coffee or something? I can't.
The baby.
You can come by again tonight if you want.
~ Well, there is trouble in my mind ~ ~ There is dark ~ ~ There's dark, and there is light ~ ~ There is no order ~ ~ There is chaos ~ ~ And there is crime ~ ~ There is no one home tonight ~ ~ In the empire of my mind ~ ~ There is trouble in my mind ~ ~ All the chaos ~ ~ In my mind ~ - Frank, how are you? - Fine.
Hey, Frank.
I'm sorry we're late.
- Oh, no problem.
- How the hell are you? Well, just trying to clear some stuff off my plate.
- Yeah.
- Want to get out of town this weekend.
Told this girl woman grad student I'd, uh, take her up to Vermont.
Oh, good, good.
Oh, thanks, Mary.
Looks good.
You, uh, getting much skiing in, Burton? No.
I, uh not this season.
How old is that woman? Mary? L I don't know.
You think she's over fifty? I don't know.
Brian Olsen sued the hospital for wrongful termination.
And he's asking for 1.
3 million.
He lied about being an epileptic, now he's blaming us.
He's claiming the hospital didn't give him a fair hearing.
- She looks crazy.
- Who? That blonde out there.
Do you want to litigate? Not particularly.
OK.
We'll see what we can do, all right? MARY: Excuse me.
This came for you.
Oh, just on the table is fine.
Thank you.
Oh, your plant's dying.
Um.
See, that kind needs, uh, more direct sunlight.
- OK.
- May I move it? Sure.
Needs a new pot, too.
Could I pick one up for you? Sure.
You're supposed to, uh, take off the dead leaves.
Oh, this is nice.
Yeah, it's Italian.
Very fancy.
Your father, he could use a little bit of a fashion upgrade.
Yeah.
You know, Mary, uh he he didn't tell me that, uh, you were living together.
Well, it's not, like, romantic.
Right.
What is it? Friendly.
Friendly.
We're friends.
I see.
SAM: Arthur was married before we met.
He and his wife had a son.
Timmy.
He's twelve.
Where is the mother now? She, uh, is at St.
Mary's Cemetery.
She died nine years ago.
Ovarian cancer.
And Arthur is, uh, your boyfriend? And when did he pass away? Three months ago.
Motorcycle accident.
But I don't have custody of Timmy.
- Did you try to adopt him? - No.
We thought, you know, maybe the laws would change so we could get married, but You do know I'm a man, don't you? Yeah.
L I put it together.
Uh, when you get a chance, we're, uh we're doing mailing.
A fundraiser.
Maybe you could send some out? Yeah.
I'm kind of busy.
Oh.
Hi.
So, um, social services they came to your house two days ago and Right.
Someone made a phone call.
And the problem is is that my friends were over at the house, and someone was smoking a joint.
- Were you smoking? - No.
- Where was Timmy? - In his room.
Sleeping.
I told the social services guys that I was sorry, and, uh, he just wouldn't listen.
And they just barged right in there and they just took Timmy.
OK.
I'm going to try to schedule a shelter hearing.
L I've raised him since he was three.
He's my son.
Legally, he's not.
All right.
Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I just got a call from Mel Lavin.
County wants to settle.
That's great.
Well, that depends on what they offer.
Yeah, but it's a good sign if they want to negotiate.
Unless they come close to a million, they can kiss off.
Oh, Brian, come on.
No.
They fired me.
For nothing.
Didn't even give me a chance to explain.
I know, but you did lie on your application.
Hey, my epilepsy? It's irrelevant.
My evaluations have always been great.
I know, l I'm just saying a jury might not be so sympathetic.
It makes sense to listen, that's all.
Yeah.
Well, I'll listen when they come up with a million dollars.
You still go to Columbus? Yeah.
Uh, the interview's Thursday.
- My father's law books.
- What? You won the silent auction.
I'll call you.
BURTON: Shannon this is a good paper, baby.
Very good.
- You think so? - Yeah.
Absolutely.
I'm not so sure Abe Lincoln was the president during the Revolutionary War but other than that, it's awesome.
- Proud of you.
- Thanks.
It's time for bed.
- Already? - Uh-huh.
- OK.
Good night.
- Good night.
I'm so proud of you.
Thanks.
Night, Burton.
Good night, sweetie.
Sweet dreams.
- Sweet dreams.
See you.
- OK.
How about a glass of wine? Cheers.
Come here.
Put that glass down.
Oh ooh! Remember this? Yes.
God, she was great.
Yeah.
Burton, uh Was that OK? If you want.
If I want? Yeah.
It's it's OK, if you want.
No.
Think maybe I better turn in.
L I'll see you tomorrow.
OK? Burton.
Wait, Burton.
I didn't mean I'm I mean Maybe we could try tomorrow.
Maybe.
That was crazy.
Oh, you are you are Oh, that was crazy.
Oh, my God.
I'm not the kind of guy who usually but you And I'm not always comfortable with that thing you did but you got to know.
Can I have a drag? You want another drink? Hey, is this, um is this, like, a problem for you? How? Well, I mean, you're, um you know, in your Your Achiever Award.
Mmm, the award.
I know.
Right.
What? I hardly even know Alvin Masterson.
I went to see him, like, maybe five times.
And the whole Achiever thing? I think he likes the way I look.
He can have my Achiever Award, you know.
Mmm.
It's been a while, hasn't it? Yeah.
So Uh, Mel, does your client have to be here? He'd like to be.
- And Mrs - Is an attorney.
Ah, OK.
Well, I'm going to be candid.
They understand.
The offer is $25,000.
Burton That's the number we assign to nuisances.
MEL: Burton, this is hardly a nuisance.
County Hospital terminated my client without a fair hearing.
Mel, your client is an epileptic who lied on an application.
He's endangered the lives of numerous patients.
MEL: Burton, there's no proof that anyone was in danger.
Mel, please, that's that's the offer.
Now you can take it, or we can litigate.
So, thanks for coming by.
Oh, and, please, say hi to Sally for me, will you? Thanks.
Good to see you.
Well, I have nothing to offer you but a bottle of wine and free medical care.
Hey.
Hey.
So, I woke up this morning, right? My head.
Just everything hurt.
Her bed was so disgusting and the baby was screaming in the next room.
And I sweat through the sheets, and l Ceiling's all yellow and Jake, why are you telling me this? I feel terrible, guilty, but OK.
Right.
I mean, you saw her, right? Yeah.
Yeah, she's, uh, she's a good-Iooking girl.
But, you know, a woman like that what's she's been through, she's going to have some baggage and, uh, I'd steer clear.
Well, I'm not.
I'm I'm not going back.
Right.
Well, you say that now, 'cause you're hung over.
By 6:00, you'll be you'll be feeling a little better.
And then at 9:00, you'll be sitting in your apartment, alone.
No.
I just I was I was just thinking about that you know, about that kid.
Maybe I should maybe I should do something.
If I were you, I'd just stay away.
Timothy Silber was removed from his home because of an overzealous social worker.
He came into the house and saw a group of transvestites and other individuals congregated downstairs while Timothy was upstairs asleep.
There were no signs of abuse or neglect just an alternative lifestyle on full display.
Your honor, there was marijuana in the house being smoked and I take offense at Mr.
Fallin's characterizations.
I have all My client was not smoking marijuana.
He was not in the possession of any drugs.
Mr.
Birge, did you see Mr.
Farrell smoking marijuana? No.
Thank you.
Ms.
Shaw.
Timothy Silber has lived with Sam Farrell for over 9 years and wishes to remain with him.
Timothy's mother died when he was three years old and Mr.
Farrell has acted in that capacity since that time.
It seems punitive to take him from the only home he's ever known based on an unsubstantiated allegation of smoking marijuana.
I'm returning Timothy to his home.
Mr.
Farrell, in the future, no more drugs in the house.
- That's it? - That's it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Sam, hi.
- Hank.
- Hi, Timmy.
Uncle Henry.
Sorry, there was a ton of traffic.
- You didn't have to come.
- Well It's nice of you to be supportive, though.
Anyway, the whole thing was just a big mistake.
Sam, no.
L I just I came because I spoke with a lawyer.
We filed a motion for custody.
- You? - Kelly and me.
What right do you have? I'm his uncle, Sam.
He's known me his whole life.
- I'm his mother.
- You're not.
You know that.
Grace was his mother.
You You were Art's good friend.
Art's good friend? Sam, look.
We've got plenty of room.
Our kids really like Timmy.
Please, we just want what's best here.
So I'll call you when I get there.
Good.
We OK? Not great.
Student loans, mortgage, car payments.
Well, this job at Columbus Presbyterian looks promising.
You know, it's internal medicine, private practice.
I know 25,000 seems low but I think if we can get 'em up to a hundred grand we should take it.
A hundred grand means nothing to us, Lulu.
I mean, it's not going to change anything.
And a million dollars will? Well, it might.
Well, I'll call you when I get to Columbus, OK? OK.
Mr.
Fallin? Yeah? You have an appointment? No, I'm, Hank Silber.
I saw you earlier today at the courthouse.
I'm Timmy's uncle.
Oh, right.
I've been trying to reach Sam but, uh, he won't talk to me.
- Why? - I just thought he should know that Timmy called me last week from the shelter.
Said he wanted to live at our house.
OK.
Look, he doesn't want to hurt Sam's feelings.
He just doesn't want to live with him anymore.
I just wanted to give you a chance to tell Sam.
Break it to him, so it doesn't have to come out in court.
OK.
MAN ON TV: This pure crystal sculpture is a conversation piece as well as a collectible and comes with its own certificate of authenticity.
Call now, and Your change of address is now working.
Thanks.
I picked up your dry cleaning.
I went to the market, I forgot the milk.
That's all right.
So, um About last night.
Yeah? If you're not, uh Burton, it's not that.
Well, I just I just don't want you to be uncomfortable at all.
Burton, no.
On the other hand, I, um I think you should know that I do have feelings for you.
It's just been a long time.
Of course.
Just give me a chance.
WOMAN: Yeah? It's Jake.
Yeah? It's Jake.
Oh.
You a friend of Amy's? Uh, I just was in the neighborhood, and um No, no.
Come on in.
- Come on in.
- Is she here? She's coming right back.
I've got to get some smokes.
Can you watch the kid just a second? Um, well, you know I'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
Well Uh how long are you going to be? OK, OK.
I got you.
Does this also make regular coffee? And what's its capacity? Oh, fantastic.
And you can have it here by Friday? Great.
Thank you.
I'm sorry about that.
Have a seat.
Oh, this stuff sucks.
So, Jake, what can I do for you? Well, this is kind of sensitive.
It's about a client of yours, Amy Heckt.
Oh, you got the mailer? That's great.
The pro bono workshop starts a week from Saturday.
Yeah, Amy is still doing drugs and she's neglecting her child.
Oh? I have first-hand information.
I see.
So I think you should call social services about that before something happens to the kid.
Hold on.
If you don't mind my asking how did you get this information? That's personal.
Well, Mr.
Straka, Amy Heckt is my client.
If you feel her baby is in danger then you need to do what you need to do but I can't help you.
I'm her lawyer.
The hospital is willing to go to forty-five thousand.
The offer is good till five o'clock tomorrow.
Forty-five grand? - You're kidding, right? - No.
JAKE: Sorry.
- You expect me to - Brian, Brian.
We need to think about it.
Fine, but it's off the table at 5:01 tomorrow.
- Good to see you, Mel.
- Burton.
So I called social services about Amy.
- Gave a report.
- OK.
They said they'd send someone out to her place.
I think I did the right thing.
I feel better about that kid.
Fine.
Well, I think I did the right thing.
Timmy.
You like living with Sam? Yeah.
He's been around as long as I can remember.
He's my he's been like my mom.
So you don't mind how he dresses? He's always dressed like that.
Sometimes kids make fun of us, but Your uncle Hank, how well do you know him? Not too well but he has a tree house and his kids are cool.
Your uncle says that you want to live with him.
Is that true? I called him.
I was scared.
Of what? They just took me out of my house and then, I was alone in that shelter.
I was afraid I couldn't go back home So I called Uncle Henry.
Do you want to live with your uncle? My dad was sick before the accident.
OK.
And if he's sick, Sam's probably sick, too.
And if Sam's sick You get paid for this? Are you kidding? This is just for fun.
I'm an accountant.
I have some private clients.
I work from the house.
Timmy thinks his father was sick and I think he's concerned about your health as well.
Was he sick? I'm sorry.
The motorcycle accident.
I don't think that really was a motorcycle ac Right.
Does Timmy think I infected his father? I don't know.
'Cause I didn't.
I'm healthy.
You've been tested? No.
- Then how can you be sure? - I just know, OK? I've always been very careful.
Sam, Timmy is afraid.
If you want him to be with you, you need to get tested.
When Art and I met, and we fell in love he didn't tell me about Timmy.
I was young then, and the last thing I wanted to do was take care of some guy's kid but then, he took me over to the house, right? And there was Timmy, this skinny, little thing asking a million questions about how everything worked And he needed a mom so badly someone to love him and before I knew it, there I was.
I don't want to get tested.
I'm terrified.
Well, then there's no point in going to court.
Timmy won't be living with you.
We can, uh We can talk informally to Hank and maybe we can come up with some kind of arrangement.
Social services just took my baby.
When? About an hour ago.
Well, I told you what Mr.
Straka said.
This shouldn't be a surprise.
But it's not my fault.
When they came to my apartment, my babysitter was drunk and they found drugs, someone else's.
What are we going to do? We? Well, let's see.
We already told the world that you were competent responsible, and drug-free.
I didn't ask you to do that.
Right.
- The problem is - Wait.
Problem? You drag me to that party, you buy me that dress you force me to make a speech.
You sit me next to a guy some guy who's probably a friend of yours who does terrible things to me and you're not you're not going to help me now? I didn't say that.
Look, I'll do what I can but Mr.
Straka's prepared to testify that he saw you doing drugs and neglecting your child.
He saw me? Like he was just walking by my apartment? He drove me home that night and we had a drink and then, he gave me a pill and before I knew it, he was on top of me pulling at my clothes.
I see.
And you're going to tell the police that? He came back three nights in a row and I got friends who can tell that to the cops.
That's what you're going to say? If they ask me, Alvin, I got to tell them the truth.
Hi.
- Did my dad leave a file for me? - A file? Yeah, he said it would be on his desk.
Oh, I don't know.
Nick? Yeah? About your dad, um, we're not Mary, I don't care.
I just want to say that we're not involved the way you might think we are.
Really, I don't care.
I don't want to hurt him.
I think he's a wonderful person.
I understand that.
And I want I want to do something for him, you know? To to thank him.
Well, I don't think he's going to want anything.
Well, I know he, uh, he likes to smoke And, uh, he likes red wine and he likes sports.
I know that.
So I'd like to get him a present, don't you think? Hey.
Who is that? Oh, my God.
Uh They're old pictures of, um, the Fallins.
Oh.
Um, I got the job.
They want me to start next week.
Even offered to, uh, pay for an apartment so that you'd be more comfortable with the transition.
Brian, l I was going to surprise you, but, uh Well, I guess I did.
This isn't this was a mistake.
Yeah, I agree.
No, I mean you know the books that I bought when I opened up the box, they weren't this was there, and I'm glad you got the job.
Yeah.
Yeah, me, too.
You should take it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
- Amy Heckt.
- Yeah.
They went to her house and found some things and took the child.
Well, that's probably the best thing.
I mean, I didn't want to do it, but, I mean You can't leave a kid in a situation like that.
One of the things they found your codeine prescription.
Uh-huh.
- One of the things Amy's saying - Right.
- That you - Right, right.
That I slept with her, and l and I also took care of the kid.
Well, she's not saying that exactly.
Her take is that you assaulted her attempted to rape her and held her child against her will.
That's absolutely ridiculous.
I'm sure.
Is she willing to say this in court? She plans to.
Has she talked to the police? No.
OK, so what do you recommend then? Hard way Fight for what you know is true.
Easy way Say it's all a mistake.
One, she's an addict and two, she's lying.
And three, you slept with her.
- She's lying.
- So what? So she's lying! Wow, you just got to let it go, man.
A woman like that.
Just let it go.
Brian.
You mixed up the boxes.
What? It's a bunch of pictures and slides of your family.
Lulu had 'em.
Well, my father must have mixed 'em up.
Yeah, well, I'll accept the offer.
Forty-five, if it's still good.
Yeah.
All right, well, I'll accept it.
Well, have your lawyer call me.
- Yeah, I'll do that.
- Good.
You know about Lulu? It's, uh She's, uh Uh, I'll have my lawyer call you.
Nick.
What? It's Sam.
Hey.
Hey, Sam.
Took your advice.
I'm negative.
That's good, Sam.
That's good.
Have you told Timmy? Yeah, this morning, soon as I got the results.
Good.
That's good.
SAM: Timmy? We didn't want Your dad and me to tell you certain things.
We felt that it was too much let alone you knowing that your father was sick but Timmy I'm healthy.
I'm fine and I didn't I didn't hurt your dad.
I loved him and I took care of him and I love you And I want to take care of you, too.
It's up to you, Timmy.
You just tell us what you want.
Timmy, would you rather speak to the judge about this? I think I want to be with Uncle Henry.
You think? I'm sorry, Sam, but But we're a family.
I just want to be with Uncle Henry.
I can dress like this from now on.
I'm sorry, Sam.
Oh.
Oh, God.
It's OK.
It's OK.
This is a settlement agreement.
Once your client signs, we'll messenger over a check.
- We're done.
- Great.
- Burton.
- Good to see you, Mel.
- Nick.
- Thank you.
Take care.
- FRANK: Terrific job.
- Well, it wasn't so hard.
Well, terrific.
You guys are pros.
Oh, thanks.
You know, uh, I asked out that blonde from the reception desk.
Oh.
Yeah.
Taking her to the Benedum Center next week and then to Anthony's for dinner and then Yeah, I'll bet she's wild.
- Well.
- Thanks.
Yeah, OK.
Take care.
What? Nothing.
Fallin and Fallin.
Please hold.
Fallin and Fallin.
Please hold.
Hey, sweetheart.
Hey, Burton.
- How you doing? - Good.
How are you? Good, good.
You got a second, Mary? Been thinking, Mary.
Yes? This, um This isn't working out.
Yeah.
Burton, let me explain.
I know I should feel a certain way about you.
I mean I don't know what's wrong with me.
Well, I'm not asking.
It's all my fault.
Well Good luck.
Your law books.
Oh, but Brian dropped the other box off.
I'm, uh I'm sorry about the mix-up.
Oh.
The codeine was obviously mine.
My back is out, and I brought the pills to the apartment and I accidentally left them there.
Here's a copy of the prescription and the phone call I, uh I made the phone call because because I was upset.
I mean, I had a fight.
We had a disagreement.
She said she didn't want to see me again.
So I made the call and it wasn't meant to be malicious.
I mean, I was just concerned about about the baby but perhaps some of the things I said were misconstrued.
I was calling about the babysitter.
She was drunk, but that's not Amy's fault.
She loves her baby very much.
Anything else? Yeah.
Yeah.
That's my baby.
So that's all there is? Yeah, you're all set.
Wow, Mr.
Masterson.
You people have been so good to me.
Thanks.
Well.
Well.
MAN: Delivery for Alvin Masterson.
ALVIN: Awesome.
The new stuff's here.
Where's that new espresso machine? What, did you leave it in the truck? You brought it, didn't you?
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