Top Gear (US) s02e14 Episode Script
Limos
Now on Top Gear.
Even better than I could've thought.
It's grey poupon time, as we compete to build the best one-of-a-kind limos And then drive three unsuspecting celebrities to the primetime Emmys.
I'm gonna turn around right here! Is that what you want?! Leachman: Oh, my God.
Let me out of here! the first stretch limousine was built in 1928 in Fort Smith, Arkansas, and they quickly came to represent sophistication and accomplishment.
But these days, they're being built from just about any kind of car and are more about the excesses of bachelor parties and proms.
So, we thought we should try to get some of the excitement back by making our own.
And to prove how good they were, we'd each chauffeur a major celebrity to one of the biggest Hollywood events of the year The Emmys.
The car I picked to transform into a limo Deserved to get an extension.
I give you the 1987 Corvette.
350 cubic inches of midlife-crisis fury.
The problem with a limo is it's basically like a couch on wheels, and that's boring.
My limo is gonna be all about performance.
This is gonna be able to accelerate, brake, and corner.
And it's gonna be able to do a burnout, which is the minimum design specification that I've laid out.
Wood: I know what you're thinking.
Why would you want to make a limo out of an '81 Volkswagen Rabbit pickup? Well, frankly, I love it.
It's one of my favorite cars ever.
And since it was my first car, it has a special place in my heart.
Also, I don't think it deserved to suffer the death at the hands of Adam and Tanner that it did.
Wood: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Is this yours? Oh, just put that in the truck.
[Grunts.]
Normally in limousines, you see presidents or dignitaries.
There's no blue-class limo.
I really think there should be, and that's what I'm gonna make.
Ferrara: This is the 1969 Lincoln Mark III, a personal luxury car with a Rolls-Royce grille in the front and a faux-spare-tire hump in the back.
The clock is a Cartier.
That's how elegant this is Cartier.
Picking a Lincoln to make a limousine is a pretty safe choice.
I mean, Lincoln's been making limousines forever.
The most popular one was the '61 Lincoln that Lee Harvey Oswald put an end to in '63.
Ferrara: After choosing our cars, it was time to turn them into what we thought would be the best limo for the Emmys.
We are gonna make That.
Wood: All I wanted to do is enhance the beauty of my beloved v.
W.
Tanner, of course, took his to a place that specializes in modifying exotic cars.
Tanner, what brings you here? So, I brought a toy.
Porsche? Ferrari? - What are you driving these days? - '87 Corvette.
[Laughs.]
Let's drive it.
[Engine revs.]
[Tires screeching.]
[Laughs.]
It's weird.
It's a little bit hard to steer like this.
[Laughs.]
Oh [Bleep.]
Foust: Fueled by a night of energy drinks and power tools, our limos were ready, so we headed to the "Top Gear" test track to put them through their paces.
Wood: My design was all about Southern hospitality.
What celebrity wouldn't want to get to the red carpet in this? So, how do you make a Volkswagen Rabbit pickup better? You just double it and add another Volkswagen Rabbit pickup.
I've got my tailgate set up in here.
I got a grill.
I got a cooler, a nice table.
This is what a limo should be about.
It should be about making something extraordinary out of something Very ordinary.
Tanner's design was the exact opposite.
His limo represented the thing every Corvette owner wants More length.
[Tires screech.]
Foust: Oh, yeah.
And people think I'm the redneck of this show.
Oh, this thing is awesome.
You cut and stretched a Corvette.
You're damn straight, I did.
35 feet of Corvette.
I like how you finished it inside.
Like a true racecar driver, Tanner had spent zero time on his interior.
He had a racing seat on rails for his celebrity, no air-conditioning, and in the rear, the drivetrain and the tail pipe were exposed.
It wasn't so much a limo as a rolling sauna of exhaust fumes.
The problem with limos is that they're boring.
They get you from "a" to "b," and then you just arrive.
But this this is actually a driver's limo.
You can't get over a speed bump, I bet.
Speed bumps are the enemy, but you can avoid most speed bumps if you map them out on your route.
Shouldn't that be at, like, a wedding in Panama city? Is that a barbecue stuffed between two rabbits? This is the ultimate limo.
You've got siamese rabbits fused together in some sort of crazy experiment.
Let me ask you, what happens if you need to turn around real sharp turn? What are you gonna do? You plan ahead.
You know what I do? Just switch ends.
I'll drive here.
I'll drive there.
I'll drive anywhere.
Wow.
It's amazing! I don't know what to expect from Adam after seeing this.
Maybe it's a model "a.
" Oh, my lord.
It's a Pope-mobile.
Even better than I could've thought.
[Siren wailing.]
Ha ha! Wow.
A Mark III Lincoln.
That's it, baby! Wow.
With a chair sitting on it.
Highly exclusive.
I carry one passenger.
This is a terrible idea.
Go ahead.
Get in.
I cannot Come on.
Right this way, Mr.
Foust.
It's plywood.
- It's like a clear box of death.
Ferrara: - It's a prototype.
Eventually, this will be bulletproof.
I'm not gonna sit on that.
Oh, go ahead.
Get in there.
Get in there! Sit down! - Where did you get the chair? - It smells bad.
Tanner, this seems like a terrible idea! This is gonna fall off of this car when you crash.
I'm not gonna crash.
Let me guess.
That's you.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You know that thing is awesome.
That's louchey.
Look at that.
That's long and douchey.
You see the skid marks? That thing does burnouts like you read about.
That's terrible.
Not the first time he's asked someone if they've seen his skid marks.
It is just terrible.
And you just made it longer.
This thing is quick.
See, I had to modify the suspension.
It's awful! See the way the suspension has no flex? See that? [Laughing.]
It's quick.
It rides like a brick! It's not made for comfort.
It's built for speed.
It's built for stupidity.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Let me guess.
You're going for the 2-headed German hillbilly market.
I'm going for the working man with this.
This is an automotive "push me, pull you.
" This thing's ugly coming and going.
Okay.
You have an unnatural attraction to rabbits.
You're like Lenny from "Mice and Men.
" Foust: We each thought our limos were the perfect way to make a grand entrance at the Emmys.
But before we could deliver our lucky celebrities to the red carpet, we needed to put them through some rigorous testing.
The first challenge for our homemade limos was a 1/4-mile race to the end of our "Top Gear" test track and back.
Foust: See, this is how you tell what a good limo is.
You race it.
It's about being on time.
- No, it's not.
- Yeah.
Let's do this.
Come on.
It's gonna take you an hour and a half to walk to your driver's seat.
I'm just gonna go to this side 'cause it's closer.
You can go to that side if you want.
Don't be jealous of my length.
I bet you've never said that before.
[Tires screech.]
Foust: Okay.
You guys ready? - I'm ready.
You ready? - Let's do it.
[Engine revving.]
Why does he do this? Why does he do this? 3, 2, 1, go! [Tires screeching.]
Yeah! That's a limo burnout right there! Come on, baby! Come on, baby! That's it! All right! Oh, really? Come on! Damn it! Damn it! We're picking it up.
Now we just got to make the turn.
Oh, here comes Adam.
Okay.
Keep it in neutral.
Lock the wheel.
I'd taken an early lead but quickly realized one of the design flaws of a 35-foot car Little bit of off-roading! The turning radius.
No! The pope-mobile is winning! Come on, Corvette! You got it! Ha ha! That's right! Ha ha! Yes! [Groans.]
Coming up, we find out what it's like to be a passenger in our own limos Oh, no! And realize we each might have a couple of design flaws.
Welcome back to "Top Gear.
" We were trying to make the perfect limo to take celebrities to the Emmys, and as you can see, Rut was aiming for celebrities like the swamp people.
I love the swamp people, and you know that.
Of course you do.
They're your neighbors.
You live, like, right up the street from them.
On the other hand, I took a beautiful sports car and turned it into a 35-foot piece of art.
- Piece of what? - Art.
- Oh.
[Laughter.]
What kind of sports car is it when my Lincoln just dusted it in the drag race? [Crowd murmurs.]
Yeah, that's true, except that limos aren't all about speed.
They're all about comfort and how you ride.
So, for our next challenge, we went around the "Top Gear" test track while trying to make Martinis.
[Laughter.]
Yeah.
The problem is, this time, we weren't doing the driving.
Ah, this isn't good.
I should've thought to put a bar in here.
[Engine revs.]
Go! [Tires screech.]
Aah! [Both laugh.]
Ow! I like my Martinis very dry, so I'm just gonna wave the vermouth.
Ice! Wood: Oh, that has to be so scary.
You could not pay me enough.
Gin! 1, 2, 3.
Oh, no.
Oh, that's cheap gin! Here he comes.
Oh, my gosh.
Did you see the look on his face? - He's got one made! - What?! [Engine shuts off.]
Wood: Are you okay? You all right? Very good.
Is that an actual Martini? I have four.
You do not.
Come on in, folks.
I had to lock myself in.
Doesn't seem very safe.
Okay.
That's for you.
Here you go.
How is it? - I had four.
- One.
One?! He's got one right there.
I got one, you got one.
That's three! Stig, you don't get any.
Wood: Somehow, Adam was able to mix three Martinis.
Tanner and his lipstick limo were up next.
Ferrara: There you go.
Keep going.
Are you back there?! I'm back here! [Engine turns over.]
3, 2, 1, go! [Tires screeching.]
No, no, no! Even the stig spun a tire.
Come on! I'll drink it shaken.
Oh, God! Wood: That doesn't look cool at all.
Oh, no! The "g" forces are too much! Ohhh! [Bleep.]
[Bleep.]
Is he gonna make the turn? Wow! It's so stupid-looking.
Are you freaking kidding me?! Wow.
You're a mess.
Did you try to make it in the ice bucket? I made them all in the ice bucket, yeah.
I'm just gonna pour it out into the glasses.
You didn't make them all in the ice bucket.
Oh, no! Come on! Really? There was so much hard work and death-defying.
That one doesn't have anything in there.
You're still shaking.
How bad was the ride? Honestly, how bad was that ride? - Was it scary? - I don't think I want to talk about it.
How's your stomach? - That was the scariest freakin' thing I've ever done.
So, okay, you didn't get any.
Your number to beat is three.
I don't even care.
I'm just glad to be back.
Okay.
Nice to see him scared.
Whatever.
Tanner made zero Martinis, but I would have no problem in my limo.
It was made for hospitality.
- Rut, are you ready? - You bet I'm ready.
Stig 3, 2, 1, go! Oh, oh, oh, crap! There they go.
There they go.
All right.
That was so sad on the acceleration.
Oh [Bleep.]
Oh, the wind is picking up! The wind is really picking up! Look at that.
It's so ugly.
It looks like a puppy getting pulled by its tail.
[Laughs.]
Whoa! Whoa! Oh, that's so cold! That's so cold! I need more vermouth.
Come on.
That's cold.
Yeah.
Here it is.
There's one.
Oh.
Oh, gosh.
This is so comfortable! This is an amazing ride! Oh, no! The stig's working him pretty good now.
Holy [Bleep.]
Here he comes! Here he comes! [Shouting indistinctly.]
Whoa! Oh! Oh, thank God.
You've got to be kidding me.
Oh, he's a mess! [Laughs.]
Stop eating the olives.
[Laughs.]
Did you throw up? I did not throw up.
I don't feel very good.
So, you got none.
Let's review real quickly.
I won the first one.
I won the second one.
What's next? Foust: Adam's human aquarium may have excelled in the first two training sessions, but the next challenge for our celebrity chariots was an obstacle course The ultimate handling test.
We had to slalom through parked cars, parallel-park, and pick up a passenger while being shot at by tennis balls, navigate through the paparazzi, and make it past a water cannon.
Fastest time would win.
All right.
I got a stopwatch right here.
This is the start/finish line.
You ready? Ready.
3, 2, 1, go! And he's off.
[Laughs.]
So anticlimactic.
It's so terrible.
Come on, baby.
Whoa! It's surprisingly maneuverable.
Oh, lord, here we go.
Okay.
I'm through there.
Now time for parallel parking.
Oh, geez, I'm getting hit.
I'm getting hit.
Oh! Oh! [Both laughing.]
Come on.
Come on, power steering.
Okay.
Okay.
I think he just hit the cab.
All right, tennis balls.
[Laughs.]
Holy sh ow! Holy [Bleep.]
[Laughs.]
Oh! Ouch! [Bleep.]
Whoa! Oh! Get in there! Ferrara: He threw him in there! Holy [Bleep.]
Oh, my gosh.
This is so satisfying.
I don't know why.
[Laughs.]
Oh! Uh-oh.
Paparazzi.
Oh! Oh! That hurts.
Oh! Oh, no! Crank that water cannon.
Aah! Water cannon! There it goes.
Oh! [Laughs.]
And across the line.
Holy [Bleep.]
Holy [Bleep.]
How did he do? It's a 1:52.
57, but is that good? Who knows if that's good? Did you see that tennis ball? Kind of.
It was like a heat-seeker! I barely missed it! - Oh, my God! Ferrara: - You're very nimble.
I don't know if 1:52 is a good time.
What did you set the tennis-ball shooter at?! Holy [Bleep.]
It's hitting so loud! This can't be good.
Wow.
Your heart is racing, isn't it? - Five it! Five that! - Good job.
Coming up, we see how our custom limos perform under pressure and hit the open road for the first time.
You know, when I heard that we would be building custom made limosines I assumed it would be all champagne and caviar.
And instead, it's water cannons and tennis balls being launched at my head.
[Laughter.]
Really? What about the show has ever been champagne and caviar? Hmm.
Nothing.
Yeah.
That's what I thought.
And it kind of serves you right for building a car that goes 12 miles an hour, anyway.
I mean, let me get this straight.
You've got two engines.
Can you even use them both at the same time? Well, not with one driver, no.
[Laughter.]
Okay.
So, you've doubled the weight, and by only using one engine, you basically cut the horsepower in half.
It sounds different on paper, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
But, I mean, I don't think you're gonna do much better, because you're up next.
And, frankly, with this midlife-crisis-mobile, 35-foot car, slalom, braking? Good luck.
[Laughter.]
I'll count you down.
You ready? [Engine revs.]
3, 2, 1, go! [Tires screech.]
[Laughs.]
Are you kidding?! Oh, my God.
How is he making that? I got this.
[Laughs.]
Oh! Window up.
- That's not a parallel park! - No.
Ow! [Bleep.]
This doesn't count.
Come on! He is getting nailed with tennis balls.
He won't open the door! Here he comes.
Watch it! [Laughter.]
[Bleep.]
Oh, those are fast! Oh, he's using him like a shield! Human shield! Ow! He lost the dummy! Ow! [Bleep.]
It's falling apart! [Bleep.]
He's throwing it in the trunk! [Laughs.]
He just left his arms! [Laughs.]
Take that! Oh, he's throwing the tennis balls back! Fight, kid, fight! That'll help! Come on, come on, come on, come on! Come on, big guy.
Oh, he's not gonna make that.
Coming through.
Oh! Oh! Look out! Little wet! Oh! Oh! [Laughs.]
With the [Bleep.]
Legs hanging out.
[Laughs.]
There's a cone underneath, and there are legs hanging out.
[Tires screech.]
[Laughs.]
What's the time? What happened to your guy? - He's fine.
- He's fine? - Where's his arms? - He has no arms.
I think he was like that.
[Laughing.]
- No, he wasn't! Oh [Bleep.]
[Laughs.]
- Oh, wow.
- Is he alive? I hope he didn't get chopped up by the driveshaft.
Oh, no! Look at his head! Look at his head.
There's nothing to see here.
He pissed himself.
[Laughter.]
What time did he do? You got, on the clock, a 1:35.
Oh, my gosh.
But there's more.
I figure there's at least 10 seconds penalty for this.
For the arms.
- You didn't keep him safe.
- All right.
I can live with that.
10 seconds for the parallel parking.
I you came in the back way.
The lack of parallel parking.
And 10 seconds for the paparazzi you hit.
You killed a guy.
You only got 10 seconds.
That's 30 seconds tacked on.
That means you were 2:05.
2:05.
Not no way! Democratic.
Who thinks it should be 2:05? The ayes have it.
I'll go next.
Good luck.
Love democracy.
Okay.
Time to beat 1:52.
1:52.
- Are you ready? - Let's do this.
Step back slowly.
[Engine turns over.]
Whoa! Foust: You can hear the Lincoln.
On your marks, get set, go! [Tires screech.]
Whoa! That thing is fast! Squealing tires.
[Bleep.]
The throttle hung.
Holy [Bleep.]
Are you okay? You all right? Remember when I told you the accelerator sticks? [Laughs.]
Did you hear the Mercedes just hit the wall? - Yeah.
It was a fairly substantial hit.
I had to make a choice.
I'm like, "I either take that Mercedes out" or I'm gonna end up killing one of those guys.
" You didn't make any choices there.
I'm telling you! I went like this.
I'm like "[Bleep.]
I'm dead.
" You pushed my Mercedes all the way to the building.
And let that be a lesson to you.
I don't want to be the bearer of bad news.
You did not pick up a passenger.
You did not get hit by a tennis ball.
- True.
And your car looks like it's totally fine.
- Yeah.
- Other than that So, if we stop the clock right now, that's 2:04.
- How does that feel? - Feels terrible.
Stop the clock when I hit the Mercedes.
So, I think I win.
I didn't say that.
I didn't say that.
I'm fairly certain I win.
No one got killed.
The mannequin's safer than he was in your car.
That could be true.
I still won, but that's a good point.
What's next? [Laughs.]
Our daylong training course was over, and though there had been a few minor issues with comfort Oh, that's so cold! That's so cold! Performance Little bit of off-roading! And maneuverability It was time to put them into service, driving three of television's elite to the red carpet at one of the most glamorous awards shows in the world The primetime Emmys, where image is everything and a grand entrance is crucial.
[Metal scraping.]
Ferrara: Oh! This is perfect for Hollywood.
You will never see another car like this.
The best celebrity I could get would be, like, anction star.
That would be ideal somebody mellow but also action-y.
I think when my celebrity sees this car, they're gonna get it.
They're gonna say, "this is it.
" "This is broad appeal to all classes," you know? Wood: We didn't know who our celebrities were.
All we knew was where to pick them up and that we had to get them to the red carpet by 3:30 sharp.
Adam was the first to arrive.
It's Carl Riner.
No.
It's Cloris Leachman.
Ferrara: I couldn't believe it.
I was gonna be driving the legendary comedic actress and 9-time Emmy winner Cloris Leachman.
[Laughs.]
She was very excited.
Coming up, Tanner and Rutledge pick up their stars.
Oops! I'm caught in my dress.
Oh, goodness.
Ferrara: Limousines used to represent style and importance, and U.
S.
presidents since William McKinley have all used them.
We decided to see if we could build better versions.
So far, my Lincoln had won the speed and comfort challenges, and Rut's double Rabbit won the maneuverability challenge.
Ow! It would all come down to who could get their celebrity to the Emmys on time.
I was the first to meet my star Comic legend Dloris Leachman And I was ready to whisk her away in the style and class she deserved.
[Laughs.]
That's the funniest thing I ever saw.
All for you.
I'm gonna set this up.
- Or set it down.
- Set that down, yes.
Now I'm gonna go open the door.
Now, this whole car is designed so you can make an entrance.
Here I come.
Okay.
[Laughs.]
Knees.
- This is this is it.
- This is it? That's as far as I go.
I'm nervous.
I'm nervous.
Wood: My passenger was next to emerge Glamorous celebrity correspondent Terri Seymour from "Extra.
" She was sure to love my Rabbits.
You're taking me to the Emmys in this? - Yes.
I have this beautiful seat.
There's a nice racing harness and stuff for you, but I don't I don't know how that's gonna work with your dress.
You want me to sit in here? Um Tanner had run into a small problem of his own at his pickup location.
[Metal scraping.]
I'm stuck.
[Grunts.]
There we go.
Okay.
[Laughs.]
I'm just gonna put you down here for a minute.
Okay.
Now I'm gonna come around and get you on the other side.
Come around.
Okay.
Come on.
Okay.
[Laughs.]
Okay.
You could sit right here.
I'm not gonna have to drive, am I? No, no, no, no.
Probably not.
Probably not.
There is a chance.
Oops! I'm caught in my dress.
Oh, goodness.
- Are you ready, Cloris? - I'm ready! With 30 minutes to go until the Emmys, Adam and I had picked up our VIPs There you go.
While Tanner's length was still causing him problems.
[Metal scraping.]
Oh, my God, I'm dying.
This is so embarrassing! Hey, now it's time for "Big Star, Small Car," and our star today is the star of "True Blood" Mr.
Stephen Moyer.
[Cheers and applause.]
Thank you.
Are you ready to get out there and run some laps? - I am so excited.
I hope they're gonna get new tires when you put me out there.
Don't you worry about that.
We'll take care of it.
We'll see you in the hangar.
Good luck.
- Thank you.
Stephen Moyer! [Cheers and applause.]
Thank you.
Come on, son.
[Tires screech.]
The time to beat is 1:41, set by Patrick Warburton.
Let's see if Stephen can top that.
Now, this is a lot of speed for the first turn.
Too wide.
[Laughs.]
We call that using all the racetrack.
And watch this So much speed coming through there, really getting everything he can.
Not wide enough.
Now, this is where it gets hard Coming down here into the teardrop.
Hate this corner! Ease off.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Except Stephen is neither of those.
That's better.
He is just blazing around the track.
At the halfway point, he's 2 seconds faster than Patrick Warburton.
If he can keep this pace up, we could have a new leader.
Come on, boy.
Remember to brake.
Remember to brake.
[Tires screech.]
Look at that speed through there.
All the tires are singing now.
No, you idiot! That's utter rubbish.
He's gonna turn right, come back in towards the esses.
[Grunts.]
Come on, you [Bleep.]
Oh, I think he's gonna do it.
Oh, he's going wide on the last turn! And look at that He is across the line! [Cheers and applause.]
Come on up, Stephen.
Thank you.
Stephen Moyer.
How was it, bud? - Great.
- Have a seat.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Now, I got to be honest.
I did not know that vampires could drive cars, [laughter.]
I-I-I even smashed up a car in "True Blood.
" I've sort of become quite good at it.
Now, that's weird, because you haven't wrecked every car you've owned.
You've wrecked almost every car you've owned, some of them twice.
[Laughter.]
How does that happen? I don't know.
I like driving things as fast as they will go.
Now, that's not the only car you've ever flipped, though.
No.
Which one? Yeah, that's funny "Which one?" - Was it a bug, a VW Beetle? - A beetle, yeah.
Blue.
How did that end up? [Laughs.]
[Laughter.]
There's two ways of getting back to my mom's house back in those days, and one was There's three ways, actually.
[Laughter.]
There's the back of the police car, which I forgot to add.
[Laughter.]
No, there's, like, the main roads back, and then there's, like, country roads back, and I always used to take the country roads.
And I rolled the car and took it over and put it in a ditch and didn't know I was upside down until I undid the seat belt.
[Laughter.]
And then did what everybody does in that situation run.
[Laughter.]
And then I got about 100 yards away, and I could hear The Jam playing, which is a band from england.
I could hear The Jam, like, rocking out in the middle of the countryside.
And I realized that my stereo was still on.
[Laughter.]
So I ran back to try and find the car, and I couldn't find it, because I had landed in a ditch, which is curved like that, which is exactly how a beetle is curved.
[Laughter.]
So, upside down, it was just part of the landscape.
And I searched around until I could see, like, these little wheels And turned it off and then ran.
[Laughter.]
You have not gotten many speeding tickets, though, have you? Ah.
[Laughter.]
And here's why I'm wondering.
You, on "True Blood," have a very thick Southern accent More thick than mine, and I grew up in Alabama.
So much so that I didn't actually know you were from the UK, watching the show.
And I wonder, do you try to turn on a little Southern charm in an instance like that? What do you do? There was this one particular occasion where I was in Wyoming, and it was a beautiful full moon like I'd never seen before, so I decided to film it while I was driving along.
[Laughter.]
So, I'm, like, out the window, like this, filming this thing.
[Imitates siren wailing.]
And so I pull over.
The guy goes, "what are you doing, son?" "I'm filming the moon.
" [Laughter.]
"Beautiful.
" But that's when you become really English.
Right.
"I'm so sorry, officer.
"I didn't know that we couldn't do that.
[Laughter.]
Absolutely Beautiful.
" [Applause.]
So so, you know, you lay on the English pretty thick.
And I was thinking, "oh, I'm gonna end up walking a line, getting to the thing.
" And he said, "yeah, it's pretty beautiful.
"If you drive down a couple hundred yards "and then turn right, you'll go right "There will be, like, a little place you can pull over there.
There's no streetlamps, and you'll get a much better view.
" [Laughter.]
"Okay.
Thank you very much.
" - No way! - Yeah.
That stuff doesn't happen to us.
Yeah way.
That's total opposite.
Good for you.
- It was cool.
I want to know, how do you think you did on your lap in the Suzuki? I don't know.
I don't know.
I enjoyed it.
It was great.
I begged them to let me have another lap, but they wouldn't let me.
Isn't that funny? Well, let's take a look.
What, in your mind, would be a good time? Well, I mean, Kid Rock's lap is probably the lap there, isn't it, to do that in the wet? Yeah, that's impressive.
So, I'd love to be above that, but, I mean, I don't know.
Wow.
First time out and you're just gonna throw it out like that.
[Laughter.]
Do you guys want to know the time? [Cheers and applause.]
- All right.
Are you ready? - Yeah.
You did it in one minute F 39.
3.
[Cheers and applause.]
Top of the board! We have a new leader! Two seconds.
More than two seconds.
Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Moyer.
Thank you.
Ferrara: Coming up, it's a race to the red carpet in our custom limousines.
Oh! Ooh! Tonioli: Aah! Turn left! Turn left! Foust: To try to restore some lost luster to the ultimate luxury vehicle, we'd each designed one-of-a-kind limos.
Rut's 2-way Rabbit had won the maneuverability challenge, and Adam's Lincoln Pope-mobile had taken the speed and comfort tests, and he'd already picked up his celebrity for our final challenge Delivering "A" -listers to the Emmys.
With only 25 minutes to showtime, I was way behind, and I'd only just arrived at my pickup location.
We're just right over here.
Bloody hell, Tanner! You're scruffy, aren't you? You could've made an effort.
It's the Emmys.
My passenger was one of the judges from the Emmy-nominated "Dancing with the Stars" Bruno Tonioli.
[Bleep.]
Me.
He loved his ride.
All I needed to do was load him in we'd be on our way.
Oh! - Watch your head.
- I'm very hot.
Yeah, I've got to get the air-conditioning going.
You make me go very, very hot, Tanner.
Oh! That's it.
Foust: Okay.
We'll try to get you there on time.
Just enjoy the, uh, performance.
Aah! I was behind, but, unlike the other two, my limo was built for speed.
Safety! Safety! Ferrara: I designed my limo for comfort, and Ms.
Leachman was loving it.
[Laughs.]
Doing all right? Oh, yeah.
[Feedback squeals.]
I have screen legend Cloris Leachman in this car.
That's right.
[Laughs.]
Say, have you ever been in a Rabbit pickup before? You seem like a classy gal.
Yeah, I'm a classy girl.
I've never been in one before.
Hmm.
And I'm never going in one again.
[Thump.]
Oh! Ooh! Aah! Foust: I was closing in fast.
Bruno may not have been the happiest passenger Get me out of this! But the Corvette was gonna get him there on time.
This is a mess! You know, you haven't thought about the comfort of it.
Tanner! Why don't you get a Rolls-Royce? Anybody can have a Rolls-Royce.
This is a Corvette.
It was either this or a hummer.
A what? A hummer? Well, I don't mind a hummer, actually A hummer or two.
Wood: While Tanner and Bruno were getting to know each other I think you have to give me a massage after this.
Uh Terri was getting the full experience of my VW Seymour: We're going the wrong way.
You're on a one-way street.
I may have made a wrong turn, but I was hoping to impress Terri with my ingenious design.
What about We're on a one-way street.
Oh, no, no, don't worry about that.
Don't worry about that.
Here.
Come on with me.
Man: You're going the wrong way! Okay.
You just hang tight.
I can't believe we're on a one-way street.
I'm sorry about that.
Just Damn that door.
[Horns honking.]
Okay.
Hang tight.
Okay.
Here we go.
Now we're going the right way.
But the one-way roads hadn't been so easy to conquer in Adam's Lincoln.
He was miles off course.
This doesn't look right.
This doesn't look right.
Where the [Bleep.]
are you taking me? Do you know where you're going? Ferrara: I had no idea.
I just want to get there, Tanner, and I hope I will never see you again! Wood: My ability to drive any direction on any street put us three blocks away from the Emmys, but the strain from the extra weight was beginning to take its toll on my Rabbit's tiny engine.
Wood: Can you smell that burning? Something's burning? Yeah, something's going on here.
Okay.
I just need to stop for just a minute and figure this out.
Oh, no.
Okay? In the middle of the street? Ferrara: We managed to get out of skid row, but cloris had lost confidence in my ability to get her to the Emmys on time.
Chop a left right here.
All right, all right.
I'll turn around.
Let me see you turn.
Start turning.
No.
Go right, go right.
Hurry up.
Right! Right! Tanner was only a half a mile out and closing in.
Just get me out of here.
Right now! Rutledge was even closer, but his overheated Rabbits would not be an easy fix.
But how long will it take to fix it? Probably if I'm doing it Probably five or six hours.
Guess I'll just hope I find a taxi.
Probably right.
I can't I have to stay with the car, but probably over there.
Damn it! I blew it! Foust: Now it was Corvette versus Lincoln.
I think it's right over there.
Leachman: No, it's back there.
We're just going in circles.
We only had four minutes to get to the Emmys, so I took a risk and made a shortcut.
[Metal scraping.]
Oh! Oh! - Did you hear that?! - No.
That was like the Titanic hitting an iceberg.
And we're gonna sink, darling.
We are going to sink.
Turn left! You know what to do! Ferrara: I'll turn around right here.
Left! Turn left! I'm gonna turn around right here! Is this what you want?! Oh, my gosh.
Holy [Bleep.]
Holy God! You dumb [Bleep.]
Let me out of here! - Oh, God.
- Hold on.
[Air hissing.]
Oh, that's not good.
Okay.
Oh, just get away from me.
Hold on.
Let me get the stairs.
Let me get the stairs for you.
Wait a minute.
You get away from me! I don't want you anywhere near me! Get away from me! Wha Get away! Hurry up! Get away from me! You can open the door, and that's all.
Get away! Back up! I'm just opening the door.
I'm just opening the door.
You don't know what you're doing, you dumb, stupid [Bleep.]
This isn't good.
That's no way to make an entrance! [Horn honking.]
[Bleep.]
With the Rabbit and the Lincoln out of the picture, there was only one more obstacle between me and victory Security.
Yov got anybody back there? Yes, I do.
You can poke your head in.
To open the trunk, just pull the string on the back.
Do what? All right.
You can go.
We made it.
We made it! We made it! That was close.
I knew all along that the Corvette limo was a winner.
My celebrity made it to the red carpet with two minutes to spare.
This is just for you, Bruno.
God! - How am I gonna get out? - Pull it.
Pull it up hard.
Pull pull pull it harder! Pull it harder! Oh, my God! Get me out of here! Somebody help me! Don't forget your ticket.
Oh, my ticket.
Tanner, get a [Bleep.]
Ow! Watch your head.
[Bleep.]
Oh! Oh! [Chuckling.]
Bruno, been a pleasure.
Next time, rethink the car.
Tanner! Have a good night.
Go to hell.
[Groans.]
I know you enjoyed that.
I know you did.
He's secretly in denial.
I know he is.
[Cheers and applause.]
- I got to admit - What? I wasn't sure that Corvette would make it, but it turns out the limo ride of the future is the Corvette.
Oh, please.
You know, I may not have won, but I do know I gave Terri a ride she will never forget.
[Laughter.]
Yes, you did.
- You made her take a cab.
- But you know what? I didn't almost kill my passenger, like you did with poor Cloris.
I mean, you put her in that cage of death.
The cage of death! That's a seat of honor.
And by the way, poor Cloris? You know the language that woman used on me? It was just rude.
Okay.
We're losing focus here.
The fact is Corvette made it to the Emmys.
That means it's the best limo.
That's all we've got time for.
It's not the best [Cheers and applause.]
Even better than I could've thought.
It's grey poupon time, as we compete to build the best one-of-a-kind limos And then drive three unsuspecting celebrities to the primetime Emmys.
I'm gonna turn around right here! Is that what you want?! Leachman: Oh, my God.
Let me out of here! the first stretch limousine was built in 1928 in Fort Smith, Arkansas, and they quickly came to represent sophistication and accomplishment.
But these days, they're being built from just about any kind of car and are more about the excesses of bachelor parties and proms.
So, we thought we should try to get some of the excitement back by making our own.
And to prove how good they were, we'd each chauffeur a major celebrity to one of the biggest Hollywood events of the year The Emmys.
The car I picked to transform into a limo Deserved to get an extension.
I give you the 1987 Corvette.
350 cubic inches of midlife-crisis fury.
The problem with a limo is it's basically like a couch on wheels, and that's boring.
My limo is gonna be all about performance.
This is gonna be able to accelerate, brake, and corner.
And it's gonna be able to do a burnout, which is the minimum design specification that I've laid out.
Wood: I know what you're thinking.
Why would you want to make a limo out of an '81 Volkswagen Rabbit pickup? Well, frankly, I love it.
It's one of my favorite cars ever.
And since it was my first car, it has a special place in my heart.
Also, I don't think it deserved to suffer the death at the hands of Adam and Tanner that it did.
Wood: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Is this yours? Oh, just put that in the truck.
[Grunts.]
Normally in limousines, you see presidents or dignitaries.
There's no blue-class limo.
I really think there should be, and that's what I'm gonna make.
Ferrara: This is the 1969 Lincoln Mark III, a personal luxury car with a Rolls-Royce grille in the front and a faux-spare-tire hump in the back.
The clock is a Cartier.
That's how elegant this is Cartier.
Picking a Lincoln to make a limousine is a pretty safe choice.
I mean, Lincoln's been making limousines forever.
The most popular one was the '61 Lincoln that Lee Harvey Oswald put an end to in '63.
Ferrara: After choosing our cars, it was time to turn them into what we thought would be the best limo for the Emmys.
We are gonna make That.
Wood: All I wanted to do is enhance the beauty of my beloved v.
W.
Tanner, of course, took his to a place that specializes in modifying exotic cars.
Tanner, what brings you here? So, I brought a toy.
Porsche? Ferrari? - What are you driving these days? - '87 Corvette.
[Laughs.]
Let's drive it.
[Engine revs.]
[Tires screeching.]
[Laughs.]
It's weird.
It's a little bit hard to steer like this.
[Laughs.]
Oh [Bleep.]
Foust: Fueled by a night of energy drinks and power tools, our limos were ready, so we headed to the "Top Gear" test track to put them through their paces.
Wood: My design was all about Southern hospitality.
What celebrity wouldn't want to get to the red carpet in this? So, how do you make a Volkswagen Rabbit pickup better? You just double it and add another Volkswagen Rabbit pickup.
I've got my tailgate set up in here.
I got a grill.
I got a cooler, a nice table.
This is what a limo should be about.
It should be about making something extraordinary out of something Very ordinary.
Tanner's design was the exact opposite.
His limo represented the thing every Corvette owner wants More length.
[Tires screech.]
Foust: Oh, yeah.
And people think I'm the redneck of this show.
Oh, this thing is awesome.
You cut and stretched a Corvette.
You're damn straight, I did.
35 feet of Corvette.
I like how you finished it inside.
Like a true racecar driver, Tanner had spent zero time on his interior.
He had a racing seat on rails for his celebrity, no air-conditioning, and in the rear, the drivetrain and the tail pipe were exposed.
It wasn't so much a limo as a rolling sauna of exhaust fumes.
The problem with limos is that they're boring.
They get you from "a" to "b," and then you just arrive.
But this this is actually a driver's limo.
You can't get over a speed bump, I bet.
Speed bumps are the enemy, but you can avoid most speed bumps if you map them out on your route.
Shouldn't that be at, like, a wedding in Panama city? Is that a barbecue stuffed between two rabbits? This is the ultimate limo.
You've got siamese rabbits fused together in some sort of crazy experiment.
Let me ask you, what happens if you need to turn around real sharp turn? What are you gonna do? You plan ahead.
You know what I do? Just switch ends.
I'll drive here.
I'll drive there.
I'll drive anywhere.
Wow.
It's amazing! I don't know what to expect from Adam after seeing this.
Maybe it's a model "a.
" Oh, my lord.
It's a Pope-mobile.
Even better than I could've thought.
[Siren wailing.]
Ha ha! Wow.
A Mark III Lincoln.
That's it, baby! Wow.
With a chair sitting on it.
Highly exclusive.
I carry one passenger.
This is a terrible idea.
Go ahead.
Get in.
I cannot Come on.
Right this way, Mr.
Foust.
It's plywood.
- It's like a clear box of death.
Ferrara: - It's a prototype.
Eventually, this will be bulletproof.
I'm not gonna sit on that.
Oh, go ahead.
Get in there.
Get in there! Sit down! - Where did you get the chair? - It smells bad.
Tanner, this seems like a terrible idea! This is gonna fall off of this car when you crash.
I'm not gonna crash.
Let me guess.
That's you.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You know that thing is awesome.
That's louchey.
Look at that.
That's long and douchey.
You see the skid marks? That thing does burnouts like you read about.
That's terrible.
Not the first time he's asked someone if they've seen his skid marks.
It is just terrible.
And you just made it longer.
This thing is quick.
See, I had to modify the suspension.
It's awful! See the way the suspension has no flex? See that? [Laughing.]
It's quick.
It rides like a brick! It's not made for comfort.
It's built for speed.
It's built for stupidity.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Let me guess.
You're going for the 2-headed German hillbilly market.
I'm going for the working man with this.
This is an automotive "push me, pull you.
" This thing's ugly coming and going.
Okay.
You have an unnatural attraction to rabbits.
You're like Lenny from "Mice and Men.
" Foust: We each thought our limos were the perfect way to make a grand entrance at the Emmys.
But before we could deliver our lucky celebrities to the red carpet, we needed to put them through some rigorous testing.
The first challenge for our homemade limos was a 1/4-mile race to the end of our "Top Gear" test track and back.
Foust: See, this is how you tell what a good limo is.
You race it.
It's about being on time.
- No, it's not.
- Yeah.
Let's do this.
Come on.
It's gonna take you an hour and a half to walk to your driver's seat.
I'm just gonna go to this side 'cause it's closer.
You can go to that side if you want.
Don't be jealous of my length.
I bet you've never said that before.
[Tires screech.]
Foust: Okay.
You guys ready? - I'm ready.
You ready? - Let's do it.
[Engine revving.]
Why does he do this? Why does he do this? 3, 2, 1, go! [Tires screeching.]
Yeah! That's a limo burnout right there! Come on, baby! Come on, baby! That's it! All right! Oh, really? Come on! Damn it! Damn it! We're picking it up.
Now we just got to make the turn.
Oh, here comes Adam.
Okay.
Keep it in neutral.
Lock the wheel.
I'd taken an early lead but quickly realized one of the design flaws of a 35-foot car Little bit of off-roading! The turning radius.
No! The pope-mobile is winning! Come on, Corvette! You got it! Ha ha! That's right! Ha ha! Yes! [Groans.]
Coming up, we find out what it's like to be a passenger in our own limos Oh, no! And realize we each might have a couple of design flaws.
Welcome back to "Top Gear.
" We were trying to make the perfect limo to take celebrities to the Emmys, and as you can see, Rut was aiming for celebrities like the swamp people.
I love the swamp people, and you know that.
Of course you do.
They're your neighbors.
You live, like, right up the street from them.
On the other hand, I took a beautiful sports car and turned it into a 35-foot piece of art.
- Piece of what? - Art.
- Oh.
[Laughter.]
What kind of sports car is it when my Lincoln just dusted it in the drag race? [Crowd murmurs.]
Yeah, that's true, except that limos aren't all about speed.
They're all about comfort and how you ride.
So, for our next challenge, we went around the "Top Gear" test track while trying to make Martinis.
[Laughter.]
Yeah.
The problem is, this time, we weren't doing the driving.
Ah, this isn't good.
I should've thought to put a bar in here.
[Engine revs.]
Go! [Tires screech.]
Aah! [Both laugh.]
Ow! I like my Martinis very dry, so I'm just gonna wave the vermouth.
Ice! Wood: Oh, that has to be so scary.
You could not pay me enough.
Gin! 1, 2, 3.
Oh, no.
Oh, that's cheap gin! Here he comes.
Oh, my gosh.
Did you see the look on his face? - He's got one made! - What?! [Engine shuts off.]
Wood: Are you okay? You all right? Very good.
Is that an actual Martini? I have four.
You do not.
Come on in, folks.
I had to lock myself in.
Doesn't seem very safe.
Okay.
That's for you.
Here you go.
How is it? - I had four.
- One.
One?! He's got one right there.
I got one, you got one.
That's three! Stig, you don't get any.
Wood: Somehow, Adam was able to mix three Martinis.
Tanner and his lipstick limo were up next.
Ferrara: There you go.
Keep going.
Are you back there?! I'm back here! [Engine turns over.]
3, 2, 1, go! [Tires screeching.]
No, no, no! Even the stig spun a tire.
Come on! I'll drink it shaken.
Oh, God! Wood: That doesn't look cool at all.
Oh, no! The "g" forces are too much! Ohhh! [Bleep.]
[Bleep.]
Is he gonna make the turn? Wow! It's so stupid-looking.
Are you freaking kidding me?! Wow.
You're a mess.
Did you try to make it in the ice bucket? I made them all in the ice bucket, yeah.
I'm just gonna pour it out into the glasses.
You didn't make them all in the ice bucket.
Oh, no! Come on! Really? There was so much hard work and death-defying.
That one doesn't have anything in there.
You're still shaking.
How bad was the ride? Honestly, how bad was that ride? - Was it scary? - I don't think I want to talk about it.
How's your stomach? - That was the scariest freakin' thing I've ever done.
So, okay, you didn't get any.
Your number to beat is three.
I don't even care.
I'm just glad to be back.
Okay.
Nice to see him scared.
Whatever.
Tanner made zero Martinis, but I would have no problem in my limo.
It was made for hospitality.
- Rut, are you ready? - You bet I'm ready.
Stig 3, 2, 1, go! Oh, oh, oh, crap! There they go.
There they go.
All right.
That was so sad on the acceleration.
Oh [Bleep.]
Oh, the wind is picking up! The wind is really picking up! Look at that.
It's so ugly.
It looks like a puppy getting pulled by its tail.
[Laughs.]
Whoa! Whoa! Oh, that's so cold! That's so cold! I need more vermouth.
Come on.
That's cold.
Yeah.
Here it is.
There's one.
Oh.
Oh, gosh.
This is so comfortable! This is an amazing ride! Oh, no! The stig's working him pretty good now.
Holy [Bleep.]
Here he comes! Here he comes! [Shouting indistinctly.]
Whoa! Oh! Oh, thank God.
You've got to be kidding me.
Oh, he's a mess! [Laughs.]
Stop eating the olives.
[Laughs.]
Did you throw up? I did not throw up.
I don't feel very good.
So, you got none.
Let's review real quickly.
I won the first one.
I won the second one.
What's next? Foust: Adam's human aquarium may have excelled in the first two training sessions, but the next challenge for our celebrity chariots was an obstacle course The ultimate handling test.
We had to slalom through parked cars, parallel-park, and pick up a passenger while being shot at by tennis balls, navigate through the paparazzi, and make it past a water cannon.
Fastest time would win.
All right.
I got a stopwatch right here.
This is the start/finish line.
You ready? Ready.
3, 2, 1, go! And he's off.
[Laughs.]
So anticlimactic.
It's so terrible.
Come on, baby.
Whoa! It's surprisingly maneuverable.
Oh, lord, here we go.
Okay.
I'm through there.
Now time for parallel parking.
Oh, geez, I'm getting hit.
I'm getting hit.
Oh! Oh! [Both laughing.]
Come on.
Come on, power steering.
Okay.
Okay.
I think he just hit the cab.
All right, tennis balls.
[Laughs.]
Holy sh ow! Holy [Bleep.]
[Laughs.]
Oh! Ouch! [Bleep.]
Whoa! Oh! Get in there! Ferrara: He threw him in there! Holy [Bleep.]
Oh, my gosh.
This is so satisfying.
I don't know why.
[Laughs.]
Oh! Uh-oh.
Paparazzi.
Oh! Oh! That hurts.
Oh! Oh, no! Crank that water cannon.
Aah! Water cannon! There it goes.
Oh! [Laughs.]
And across the line.
Holy [Bleep.]
Holy [Bleep.]
How did he do? It's a 1:52.
57, but is that good? Who knows if that's good? Did you see that tennis ball? Kind of.
It was like a heat-seeker! I barely missed it! - Oh, my God! Ferrara: - You're very nimble.
I don't know if 1:52 is a good time.
What did you set the tennis-ball shooter at?! Holy [Bleep.]
It's hitting so loud! This can't be good.
Wow.
Your heart is racing, isn't it? - Five it! Five that! - Good job.
Coming up, we see how our custom limos perform under pressure and hit the open road for the first time.
You know, when I heard that we would be building custom made limosines I assumed it would be all champagne and caviar.
And instead, it's water cannons and tennis balls being launched at my head.
[Laughter.]
Really? What about the show has ever been champagne and caviar? Hmm.
Nothing.
Yeah.
That's what I thought.
And it kind of serves you right for building a car that goes 12 miles an hour, anyway.
I mean, let me get this straight.
You've got two engines.
Can you even use them both at the same time? Well, not with one driver, no.
[Laughter.]
Okay.
So, you've doubled the weight, and by only using one engine, you basically cut the horsepower in half.
It sounds different on paper, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
But, I mean, I don't think you're gonna do much better, because you're up next.
And, frankly, with this midlife-crisis-mobile, 35-foot car, slalom, braking? Good luck.
[Laughter.]
I'll count you down.
You ready? [Engine revs.]
3, 2, 1, go! [Tires screech.]
[Laughs.]
Are you kidding?! Oh, my God.
How is he making that? I got this.
[Laughs.]
Oh! Window up.
- That's not a parallel park! - No.
Ow! [Bleep.]
This doesn't count.
Come on! He is getting nailed with tennis balls.
He won't open the door! Here he comes.
Watch it! [Laughter.]
[Bleep.]
Oh, those are fast! Oh, he's using him like a shield! Human shield! Ow! He lost the dummy! Ow! [Bleep.]
It's falling apart! [Bleep.]
He's throwing it in the trunk! [Laughs.]
He just left his arms! [Laughs.]
Take that! Oh, he's throwing the tennis balls back! Fight, kid, fight! That'll help! Come on, come on, come on, come on! Come on, big guy.
Oh, he's not gonna make that.
Coming through.
Oh! Oh! Look out! Little wet! Oh! Oh! [Laughs.]
With the [Bleep.]
Legs hanging out.
[Laughs.]
There's a cone underneath, and there are legs hanging out.
[Tires screech.]
[Laughs.]
What's the time? What happened to your guy? - He's fine.
- He's fine? - Where's his arms? - He has no arms.
I think he was like that.
[Laughing.]
- No, he wasn't! Oh [Bleep.]
[Laughs.]
- Oh, wow.
- Is he alive? I hope he didn't get chopped up by the driveshaft.
Oh, no! Look at his head! Look at his head.
There's nothing to see here.
He pissed himself.
[Laughter.]
What time did he do? You got, on the clock, a 1:35.
Oh, my gosh.
But there's more.
I figure there's at least 10 seconds penalty for this.
For the arms.
- You didn't keep him safe.
- All right.
I can live with that.
10 seconds for the parallel parking.
I you came in the back way.
The lack of parallel parking.
And 10 seconds for the paparazzi you hit.
You killed a guy.
You only got 10 seconds.
That's 30 seconds tacked on.
That means you were 2:05.
2:05.
Not no way! Democratic.
Who thinks it should be 2:05? The ayes have it.
I'll go next.
Good luck.
Love democracy.
Okay.
Time to beat 1:52.
1:52.
- Are you ready? - Let's do this.
Step back slowly.
[Engine turns over.]
Whoa! Foust: You can hear the Lincoln.
On your marks, get set, go! [Tires screech.]
Whoa! That thing is fast! Squealing tires.
[Bleep.]
The throttle hung.
Holy [Bleep.]
Are you okay? You all right? Remember when I told you the accelerator sticks? [Laughs.]
Did you hear the Mercedes just hit the wall? - Yeah.
It was a fairly substantial hit.
I had to make a choice.
I'm like, "I either take that Mercedes out" or I'm gonna end up killing one of those guys.
" You didn't make any choices there.
I'm telling you! I went like this.
I'm like "[Bleep.]
I'm dead.
" You pushed my Mercedes all the way to the building.
And let that be a lesson to you.
I don't want to be the bearer of bad news.
You did not pick up a passenger.
You did not get hit by a tennis ball.
- True.
And your car looks like it's totally fine.
- Yeah.
- Other than that So, if we stop the clock right now, that's 2:04.
- How does that feel? - Feels terrible.
Stop the clock when I hit the Mercedes.
So, I think I win.
I didn't say that.
I didn't say that.
I'm fairly certain I win.
No one got killed.
The mannequin's safer than he was in your car.
That could be true.
I still won, but that's a good point.
What's next? [Laughs.]
Our daylong training course was over, and though there had been a few minor issues with comfort Oh, that's so cold! That's so cold! Performance Little bit of off-roading! And maneuverability It was time to put them into service, driving three of television's elite to the red carpet at one of the most glamorous awards shows in the world The primetime Emmys, where image is everything and a grand entrance is crucial.
[Metal scraping.]
Ferrara: Oh! This is perfect for Hollywood.
You will never see another car like this.
The best celebrity I could get would be, like, anction star.
That would be ideal somebody mellow but also action-y.
I think when my celebrity sees this car, they're gonna get it.
They're gonna say, "this is it.
" "This is broad appeal to all classes," you know? Wood: We didn't know who our celebrities were.
All we knew was where to pick them up and that we had to get them to the red carpet by 3:30 sharp.
Adam was the first to arrive.
It's Carl Riner.
No.
It's Cloris Leachman.
Ferrara: I couldn't believe it.
I was gonna be driving the legendary comedic actress and 9-time Emmy winner Cloris Leachman.
[Laughs.]
She was very excited.
Coming up, Tanner and Rutledge pick up their stars.
Oops! I'm caught in my dress.
Oh, goodness.
Ferrara: Limousines used to represent style and importance, and U.
S.
presidents since William McKinley have all used them.
We decided to see if we could build better versions.
So far, my Lincoln had won the speed and comfort challenges, and Rut's double Rabbit won the maneuverability challenge.
Ow! It would all come down to who could get their celebrity to the Emmys on time.
I was the first to meet my star Comic legend Dloris Leachman And I was ready to whisk her away in the style and class she deserved.
[Laughs.]
That's the funniest thing I ever saw.
All for you.
I'm gonna set this up.
- Or set it down.
- Set that down, yes.
Now I'm gonna go open the door.
Now, this whole car is designed so you can make an entrance.
Here I come.
Okay.
[Laughs.]
Knees.
- This is this is it.
- This is it? That's as far as I go.
I'm nervous.
I'm nervous.
Wood: My passenger was next to emerge Glamorous celebrity correspondent Terri Seymour from "Extra.
" She was sure to love my Rabbits.
You're taking me to the Emmys in this? - Yes.
I have this beautiful seat.
There's a nice racing harness and stuff for you, but I don't I don't know how that's gonna work with your dress.
You want me to sit in here? Um Tanner had run into a small problem of his own at his pickup location.
[Metal scraping.]
I'm stuck.
[Grunts.]
There we go.
Okay.
[Laughs.]
I'm just gonna put you down here for a minute.
Okay.
Now I'm gonna come around and get you on the other side.
Come around.
Okay.
Come on.
Okay.
[Laughs.]
Okay.
You could sit right here.
I'm not gonna have to drive, am I? No, no, no, no.
Probably not.
Probably not.
There is a chance.
Oops! I'm caught in my dress.
Oh, goodness.
- Are you ready, Cloris? - I'm ready! With 30 minutes to go until the Emmys, Adam and I had picked up our VIPs There you go.
While Tanner's length was still causing him problems.
[Metal scraping.]
Oh, my God, I'm dying.
This is so embarrassing! Hey, now it's time for "Big Star, Small Car," and our star today is the star of "True Blood" Mr.
Stephen Moyer.
[Cheers and applause.]
Thank you.
Are you ready to get out there and run some laps? - I am so excited.
I hope they're gonna get new tires when you put me out there.
Don't you worry about that.
We'll take care of it.
We'll see you in the hangar.
Good luck.
- Thank you.
Stephen Moyer! [Cheers and applause.]
Thank you.
Come on, son.
[Tires screech.]
The time to beat is 1:41, set by Patrick Warburton.
Let's see if Stephen can top that.
Now, this is a lot of speed for the first turn.
Too wide.
[Laughs.]
We call that using all the racetrack.
And watch this So much speed coming through there, really getting everything he can.
Not wide enough.
Now, this is where it gets hard Coming down here into the teardrop.
Hate this corner! Ease off.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Except Stephen is neither of those.
That's better.
He is just blazing around the track.
At the halfway point, he's 2 seconds faster than Patrick Warburton.
If he can keep this pace up, we could have a new leader.
Come on, boy.
Remember to brake.
Remember to brake.
[Tires screech.]
Look at that speed through there.
All the tires are singing now.
No, you idiot! That's utter rubbish.
He's gonna turn right, come back in towards the esses.
[Grunts.]
Come on, you [Bleep.]
Oh, I think he's gonna do it.
Oh, he's going wide on the last turn! And look at that He is across the line! [Cheers and applause.]
Come on up, Stephen.
Thank you.
Stephen Moyer.
How was it, bud? - Great.
- Have a seat.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Now, I got to be honest.
I did not know that vampires could drive cars, [laughter.]
I-I-I even smashed up a car in "True Blood.
" I've sort of become quite good at it.
Now, that's weird, because you haven't wrecked every car you've owned.
You've wrecked almost every car you've owned, some of them twice.
[Laughter.]
How does that happen? I don't know.
I like driving things as fast as they will go.
Now, that's not the only car you've ever flipped, though.
No.
Which one? Yeah, that's funny "Which one?" - Was it a bug, a VW Beetle? - A beetle, yeah.
Blue.
How did that end up? [Laughs.]
[Laughter.]
There's two ways of getting back to my mom's house back in those days, and one was There's three ways, actually.
[Laughter.]
There's the back of the police car, which I forgot to add.
[Laughter.]
No, there's, like, the main roads back, and then there's, like, country roads back, and I always used to take the country roads.
And I rolled the car and took it over and put it in a ditch and didn't know I was upside down until I undid the seat belt.
[Laughter.]
And then did what everybody does in that situation run.
[Laughter.]
And then I got about 100 yards away, and I could hear The Jam playing, which is a band from england.
I could hear The Jam, like, rocking out in the middle of the countryside.
And I realized that my stereo was still on.
[Laughter.]
So I ran back to try and find the car, and I couldn't find it, because I had landed in a ditch, which is curved like that, which is exactly how a beetle is curved.
[Laughter.]
So, upside down, it was just part of the landscape.
And I searched around until I could see, like, these little wheels And turned it off and then ran.
[Laughter.]
You have not gotten many speeding tickets, though, have you? Ah.
[Laughter.]
And here's why I'm wondering.
You, on "True Blood," have a very thick Southern accent More thick than mine, and I grew up in Alabama.
So much so that I didn't actually know you were from the UK, watching the show.
And I wonder, do you try to turn on a little Southern charm in an instance like that? What do you do? There was this one particular occasion where I was in Wyoming, and it was a beautiful full moon like I'd never seen before, so I decided to film it while I was driving along.
[Laughter.]
So, I'm, like, out the window, like this, filming this thing.
[Imitates siren wailing.]
And so I pull over.
The guy goes, "what are you doing, son?" "I'm filming the moon.
" [Laughter.]
"Beautiful.
" But that's when you become really English.
Right.
"I'm so sorry, officer.
"I didn't know that we couldn't do that.
[Laughter.]
Absolutely Beautiful.
" [Applause.]
So so, you know, you lay on the English pretty thick.
And I was thinking, "oh, I'm gonna end up walking a line, getting to the thing.
" And he said, "yeah, it's pretty beautiful.
"If you drive down a couple hundred yards "and then turn right, you'll go right "There will be, like, a little place you can pull over there.
There's no streetlamps, and you'll get a much better view.
" [Laughter.]
"Okay.
Thank you very much.
" - No way! - Yeah.
That stuff doesn't happen to us.
Yeah way.
That's total opposite.
Good for you.
- It was cool.
I want to know, how do you think you did on your lap in the Suzuki? I don't know.
I don't know.
I enjoyed it.
It was great.
I begged them to let me have another lap, but they wouldn't let me.
Isn't that funny? Well, let's take a look.
What, in your mind, would be a good time? Well, I mean, Kid Rock's lap is probably the lap there, isn't it, to do that in the wet? Yeah, that's impressive.
So, I'd love to be above that, but, I mean, I don't know.
Wow.
First time out and you're just gonna throw it out like that.
[Laughter.]
Do you guys want to know the time? [Cheers and applause.]
- All right.
Are you ready? - Yeah.
You did it in one minute F 39.
3.
[Cheers and applause.]
Top of the board! We have a new leader! Two seconds.
More than two seconds.
Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Moyer.
Thank you.
Ferrara: Coming up, it's a race to the red carpet in our custom limousines.
Oh! Ooh! Tonioli: Aah! Turn left! Turn left! Foust: To try to restore some lost luster to the ultimate luxury vehicle, we'd each designed one-of-a-kind limos.
Rut's 2-way Rabbit had won the maneuverability challenge, and Adam's Lincoln Pope-mobile had taken the speed and comfort tests, and he'd already picked up his celebrity for our final challenge Delivering "A" -listers to the Emmys.
With only 25 minutes to showtime, I was way behind, and I'd only just arrived at my pickup location.
We're just right over here.
Bloody hell, Tanner! You're scruffy, aren't you? You could've made an effort.
It's the Emmys.
My passenger was one of the judges from the Emmy-nominated "Dancing with the Stars" Bruno Tonioli.
[Bleep.]
Me.
He loved his ride.
All I needed to do was load him in we'd be on our way.
Oh! - Watch your head.
- I'm very hot.
Yeah, I've got to get the air-conditioning going.
You make me go very, very hot, Tanner.
Oh! That's it.
Foust: Okay.
We'll try to get you there on time.
Just enjoy the, uh, performance.
Aah! I was behind, but, unlike the other two, my limo was built for speed.
Safety! Safety! Ferrara: I designed my limo for comfort, and Ms.
Leachman was loving it.
[Laughs.]
Doing all right? Oh, yeah.
[Feedback squeals.]
I have screen legend Cloris Leachman in this car.
That's right.
[Laughs.]
Say, have you ever been in a Rabbit pickup before? You seem like a classy gal.
Yeah, I'm a classy girl.
I've never been in one before.
Hmm.
And I'm never going in one again.
[Thump.]
Oh! Ooh! Aah! Foust: I was closing in fast.
Bruno may not have been the happiest passenger Get me out of this! But the Corvette was gonna get him there on time.
This is a mess! You know, you haven't thought about the comfort of it.
Tanner! Why don't you get a Rolls-Royce? Anybody can have a Rolls-Royce.
This is a Corvette.
It was either this or a hummer.
A what? A hummer? Well, I don't mind a hummer, actually A hummer or two.
Wood: While Tanner and Bruno were getting to know each other I think you have to give me a massage after this.
Uh Terri was getting the full experience of my VW Seymour: We're going the wrong way.
You're on a one-way street.
I may have made a wrong turn, but I was hoping to impress Terri with my ingenious design.
What about We're on a one-way street.
Oh, no, no, don't worry about that.
Don't worry about that.
Here.
Come on with me.
Man: You're going the wrong way! Okay.
You just hang tight.
I can't believe we're on a one-way street.
I'm sorry about that.
Just Damn that door.
[Horns honking.]
Okay.
Hang tight.
Okay.
Here we go.
Now we're going the right way.
But the one-way roads hadn't been so easy to conquer in Adam's Lincoln.
He was miles off course.
This doesn't look right.
This doesn't look right.
Where the [Bleep.]
are you taking me? Do you know where you're going? Ferrara: I had no idea.
I just want to get there, Tanner, and I hope I will never see you again! Wood: My ability to drive any direction on any street put us three blocks away from the Emmys, but the strain from the extra weight was beginning to take its toll on my Rabbit's tiny engine.
Wood: Can you smell that burning? Something's burning? Yeah, something's going on here.
Okay.
I just need to stop for just a minute and figure this out.
Oh, no.
Okay? In the middle of the street? Ferrara: We managed to get out of skid row, but cloris had lost confidence in my ability to get her to the Emmys on time.
Chop a left right here.
All right, all right.
I'll turn around.
Let me see you turn.
Start turning.
No.
Go right, go right.
Hurry up.
Right! Right! Tanner was only a half a mile out and closing in.
Just get me out of here.
Right now! Rutledge was even closer, but his overheated Rabbits would not be an easy fix.
But how long will it take to fix it? Probably if I'm doing it Probably five or six hours.
Guess I'll just hope I find a taxi.
Probably right.
I can't I have to stay with the car, but probably over there.
Damn it! I blew it! Foust: Now it was Corvette versus Lincoln.
I think it's right over there.
Leachman: No, it's back there.
We're just going in circles.
We only had four minutes to get to the Emmys, so I took a risk and made a shortcut.
[Metal scraping.]
Oh! Oh! - Did you hear that?! - No.
That was like the Titanic hitting an iceberg.
And we're gonna sink, darling.
We are going to sink.
Turn left! You know what to do! Ferrara: I'll turn around right here.
Left! Turn left! I'm gonna turn around right here! Is this what you want?! Oh, my gosh.
Holy [Bleep.]
Holy God! You dumb [Bleep.]
Let me out of here! - Oh, God.
- Hold on.
[Air hissing.]
Oh, that's not good.
Okay.
Oh, just get away from me.
Hold on.
Let me get the stairs.
Let me get the stairs for you.
Wait a minute.
You get away from me! I don't want you anywhere near me! Get away from me! Wha Get away! Hurry up! Get away from me! You can open the door, and that's all.
Get away! Back up! I'm just opening the door.
I'm just opening the door.
You don't know what you're doing, you dumb, stupid [Bleep.]
This isn't good.
That's no way to make an entrance! [Horn honking.]
[Bleep.]
With the Rabbit and the Lincoln out of the picture, there was only one more obstacle between me and victory Security.
Yov got anybody back there? Yes, I do.
You can poke your head in.
To open the trunk, just pull the string on the back.
Do what? All right.
You can go.
We made it.
We made it! We made it! That was close.
I knew all along that the Corvette limo was a winner.
My celebrity made it to the red carpet with two minutes to spare.
This is just for you, Bruno.
God! - How am I gonna get out? - Pull it.
Pull it up hard.
Pull pull pull it harder! Pull it harder! Oh, my God! Get me out of here! Somebody help me! Don't forget your ticket.
Oh, my ticket.
Tanner, get a [Bleep.]
Ow! Watch your head.
[Bleep.]
Oh! Oh! [Chuckling.]
Bruno, been a pleasure.
Next time, rethink the car.
Tanner! Have a good night.
Go to hell.
[Groans.]
I know you enjoyed that.
I know you did.
He's secretly in denial.
I know he is.
[Cheers and applause.]
- I got to admit - What? I wasn't sure that Corvette would make it, but it turns out the limo ride of the future is the Corvette.
Oh, please.
You know, I may not have won, but I do know I gave Terri a ride she will never forget.
[Laughter.]
Yes, you did.
- You made her take a cab.
- But you know what? I didn't almost kill my passenger, like you did with poor Cloris.
I mean, you put her in that cage of death.
The cage of death! That's a seat of honor.
And by the way, poor Cloris? You know the language that woman used on me? It was just rude.
Okay.
We're losing focus here.
The fact is Corvette made it to the Emmys.
That means it's the best limo.
That's all we've got time for.
It's not the best [Cheers and applause.]