800 Words (2015) s02e15 Episode Script
Season 2, Episode 15
1 - Good evening, one and all.
- It's morning, Uncle Terry.
I'm opening a fine dining experience.
Kai Nui will bring people, wealth, and opportunity to Weld, and I want you to get on board.
I'm not here to cause trouble.
You never are, but that doesn't stop the inevitable, does it? I'm on the war path.
What's he done now? He's poached Hannah! Yes! SHAY: Long story short, we're doing the grunt work for him.
Yeah, but isn't that also fraud? So, we're over, then - over some stupid paintings? I want kids.
Do you want to have kids with me? Is this us Are we TERRY: Look, we had a labour shortage and we solved the problem.
I don't want Arlo turning into you.
Your son will not be harmed in the making of this triumph.
I hope you're happy now that you've got everyone's hopes up - before you abandon them.
2x15 GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) It doesn't happen all at once, till suddenly, over time, you start to realise, to see things.
George.
Hey, Tom.
Apparently if you can afford to eat at our flash new restaurant, you can also park wherever you like.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, apparently.
Oh, you wouldn't mind taking a quick pic, would you? GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) A bunch of things you never noticed before, that, when you put them together, change the very nature of where you call home.
Journey's too far for me Ohh, ohh, ohh My soul, it came home With tales of a way that I'll escape All of which leads to the question, what are you meant to do when you realise the place you live, the town that you love, that you actually don't love it as much as you used to? Captivity for me.
Hi! I just JAN: (PHONE) Hi.
You've called Jan.
Please leave me a message.
Hi.
Look, this might sound odd, but was that you in Weld, in Big Mac's car? I was out jogging and I think I saw you.
It could be lack of oxygen - either that, or I'm going mad - but anyway, call me.
Hey.
How was your run? Shall I call a doctor? Very funny.
What's up with the great work on the Super Store wall? You ever gonna finish it? Talk to Ike.
Nothing to do with me, OK? Loud and clear.
Arlo emerged yet? You mean you didn't hear him come home last night? No.
Why? It was just after 2:00.
But the agreement was not after midnight on a school night.
Oh, no! Teenager ignores parental command.
Alert the media! No, wait - in this town, that's you.
Come on, Arlo.
School.
Breakfast.
School.
ARLO: Oh, Dad, get out! Hi, Mr T.
Lindsay.
Busted.
OK, yes, Dad, Lindsay, but, no, not busted, because nothing happened, yeah? She just crashed after work and that's all.
Right.
That old one.
It went super late at the restaurant and your place is closer, so it was a no-brainer, really.
Mm-hm.
Shay, not helping.
No, not helping at all.
Does your father know you're here? I can text him if you want.
If you would be so kind.
It was a really great night at the restaurant.
You still have school.
Is it a school day? Yes, Lindsay.
School being a Monday-to-Friday thing.
It doesn't matter.
We have food tech first.
And the others were still there when we left, so they'll be super late.
We leave in ten.
(PHONE RINGS) Thanks, Mr T.
You're amazing.
Yeah, thanks, Dad.
Have a good day, love.
Bill.
Hey, George.
Very kind of you to bring Lindsay her bag.
Ahh, she got lucky.
I'm only here 'cause the gym dunnies are backed up again.
You should write about that in your paper.
I'll keep it in mind.
Does this mean she's moved back in with you? No! No, no, that was a one-off.
Oh.
I quite like it just being me and the boy.
Much quieter around the house.
Yeah.
Him in his room doing boy things.
No, well, that won't happen again.
Oh.
Never mind.
Bill, are you at all concerned how late these kids are working on a school night? No.
Why would I be? Well, it might affect their schoolwork, that's all.
Turner, this IS my kids' schoolwork.
Jared's found something he can actually do and Lindsay's been raking it in in tips, so she's well happy.
In fact, you're the only one who isn't, as far as I can tell.
Happy, that is.
Well, I just want my boy to have a good education, that's all.
What - by studying the novels of Wordsworth? (LAUGHS) Good one, Turner.
I'll catch you round.
I'm worried, that's all.
I get that, George, and you have been for a while.
That was about my brother.
This is about my son and the other kids that work there.
I mean, Arlo came home at I don't know what time on a school night.
Yes, which is not ideal.
No, it's not.
Which is why we're looking at rescheduling classes for those working at the restaurant so they start school later in the day.
What - you'd rather change what happens here than what goes on there? For this group of students, yes.
The numpties? I'm sorry if that's an offensive term.
Oh, no, not anymore.
To be a numpty is very cool now at Weld District High.
You can't seriously think what's going on here is good, can you? Let me clue you in, George.
Do you know how many Gateway students were absent this morning? Quite a few, I presume.
Not one.
We've had perfect numpty attendance since the partnership launched.
I mean, sure, they arrived late, but they are, for once in their lives, proud to be at school.
Meanwhile, we're front page of the Ministry's regional newsletter.
Stafford High - the girls one and the boys one - are sending staff to see the program in action, and there's even talk we might end up on the TV news.
Yeah, I can see how it's good for PR For a school like ours, absolutely! In fact, the only media not lining up to do a story is the one you're editor of.
That's not the point.
It's OK, George.
I get that there's negative feelings with your brother, especially after he punched you at the opening.
That's also not the point, and not unusual for him.
Well, then, why not show us some love and write about these kids I'm so proud of? One of whom happens to be your son.
Oh, I am acutely aware of that.
Numpties rule, George.
SHAY: Hey.
Hey.
So, we have a problem? We do.
Is this a Rae problem? No.
I haven't heard from her.
Maybe she was drunk.
Sorry? There was heaps of champagne at the opening.
Maybe she's forgotten.
Buying a 25,000 painting? It could happen.
So, if this isn't a Rae problem Yet.
.
.
then what IS the problem? Check out what was deposited into my bank account last night.
Whoa! It's from Dennis.
Our share of the proceeds from the Vienna show.
Dennis is clearly going off in Austria.
Clearly.
And how is this a problem for us? Maybe it isn't for you, but it is for me.
Oh, Katie, don't go down this road.
This was meant to be about helping out a friend.
Which we so did.
Not about making a fortune selling bogus works of art! Getting paid for it doesn't necessarily make it bogus, and if everyone who bought a painting is happy with their painting, then why should we miss out? Earning a fortune selling Dennis knock-offs .
.
I feel dirty.
Which is why I'm giving my half back.
The other half is yours.
You can do what you like with it.
Which one? I don't want to seem too happy in my work.
That one.
Look, George, we're talking Weld when it's normally dead, when any sort of business is gold for a town like ours, not to mention the training opportunities for those kids.
Things like this just don't happen around here.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Someone from this paper needs to write the story of the triumph of the numpties, and if you don't want to do it, I will.
Yeah, look, I know what you mean, but this morning I'm out running, and you're towing the sort of car that you don't usually see here.
And loving it, just quietly.
And I run past the restaurant and I see Terry stumbling out, clearly off his nut, having pulled an all-nighter with Hannah and Robbie, and I think to myself Robbie McNamara.
Yes, getting into the car.
Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Is this us? Is this Weld?" People staying up all night? No.
Well, yes, in terms of how they're doing it - fuelled by god knows what, knowing my brother.
What time was this exactly? Just after I saw you.
Right.
If you'll excuse me.
It was an image - part of a bigger picture about what my brother's restaurant is doing to this town.
A moral malaise? Yes, Gloria.
Something like that.
GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) Of course, when it comes to these matters, the problem is there's nothing tangible to go on.
Everything looks much the same, but there is, for want of a much, much better word, something different about the vibe, and if you start talking about the vibe People look at you like you're mad.
Tom.
Big Mac.
What can I do for you? I need a word with Robbie.
This is bollocks, man.
Not at all, Mr McNamara.
Just making sure we're all on the same page when it comes to our parole conditions, especially the part about you being clean and sober.
Is it even legal to breathalyse a man in his own home? Yes, it is.
It's not even lunchtime! What on earth makes you think he'd be drunk at this time of the day? Let's just say there was a sighting, where there seemed to be alcohol involved.
Turner.
I'm I'm not at liberty to divulge my source.
You don't have to.
Go on, then.
Hand over your bloody machine.
You need to blow until it beeps.
Yeah, I know, mate.
I've done it before.
Sure you have.
WOMAN: Bill? You never saw me.
(BREATHALYSER BEEPS) See? As the sober one, I was the designated driver.
Something you should be applauding, not persecuting.
In case there's any other loopholes you wanna try and do me on, I was at my place of work all night, and then I did my civic duty by driving home those who were incapable of driving, after which I returned to my appointed place of residence, as per my parole conditions.
Are we done? So, you were at the restaurant all night, were you? My son has been making the most of his second chance and doing great things for this town, and this suspicion is the way you repay him? Alright, Dad, I got this.
Look, it was a huge night, and we didn't wrap till around two-ish, and then there were the celebrations.
Celebrations of what? The great news, of course.
Haven't you heard? You look terrible, by the way.
Well, I haven't actually been to bed yet.
Well, I have, but I haven't been to sleep.
I don't need to know.
You want some lunch? Mmm, no, I couldn't face food right now, but I wanted you to be the first to know - well, the first one who wasn't actually there at the time.
Know what? That you have a wire cork cage stuck to your finger? It's called a muselet.
Oh, that's right - you work in a classy restaurant now.
It's my engagement ring! Wow! Yeah, wow! And this was given to you by? By some random fat rich guy I met last night.
By Terry! Who do you think? Wow.
You said that.
What - he couldn't run to an actual ring? I think it's kind of romantic, a one-off, and it was kind of a spontaneous thing.
MEN: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! You seriously think that I'm not gonna do it? I don't think you've got the guts.
Alright, then.
Will you, the lovely Hannah, the sexiest woman in Weld, make me, the sexiest man in my family, the happiest man alive if I promise to make you the happiest woman alive? No.
You have to say the actual words.
Hannah, will you marry me? Yes, Terry, I will.
(CHEERING) That is actually quite romantic.
That's what I thought at the time.
And now, given that you're relatively sober? I still do.
So, do I get a hug or not? GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) The worst bit is knowing something is wrong and seeing it affect the ones you care about.
And feeling like you can't do a damned thing to stop it.
Unfortunately, the photographer had gone before he could get a shot of you with your bloody nose.
Oh, and with your Scottish heritage, is it 'numpty' with a 'Y' or 'numptie' with an I-E? 'Y' singular, I-E plural.
Oh.
Well, that was interesting.
What was, petal? Just been up to the McNamara place.
I've asked you not to call me 'petal' when I'm in uniform.
Sorry, my love god.
It It was interesting on three fronts.
First, Robbie McNamara may be under the impression that you dobbed him in this morning.
Well, how Second, they were at the restaurant all night because they were celebrating the engagement.
The Hannah engagement to Terry That was quick.
Not by Terry's standards.
Seriously.
He has form.
What was the third thing? You don't want to spend more time digesting the second thing? I'll deal with that later.
There was a guest at the McNamara place.
Jan? Are you psychic or something? I saw her in the car when I was out running this morning.
You had an eventful run.
Did she say why she was here? No.
In fact, she seemed keen that no-one know she was here.
WOODY: What happened to the woman I know who said that she would rather have her legs ripped off by a tiger shark than get married? HANNAH: OK, yeah, I did say that.
Yeah, and what about the woman who said that waves are like men - you gotta ride as many as you can, 'cause there's no such thing as a perfect wave, just like there's no such thing as a perfect man? OK, I get the point, Woody.
Hey, I'm just asking! OK, shut it, Woody! She met a guy she really likes.
That's all.
OK.
That's all I need to hear.
And in that case, happy bloody engagement! (WOODY AND HANNAH WHOOP) Jeez! See, first they turn up in their flash off-road vehicles that have never been off-road in their lives, and now this? I mean, what's next? Probably hovercrafts.
Oh, he's coming to us.
Oh, excuse me! G'day.
Is this Weld? No.
Oh! The pilot said it was.
Yeah, nah, this is Parata Bay, mate.
Weld is the town near Parata Bay, but not actually at Parata Bay.
So, it's near here? Yeah, five minutes that way.
Well, less by helicopter, but yours has taken off.
Um I need to get to Weld.
Yeah, well, you're in the general vicinity.
Oh, that won't work here, mate.
No, not unless it's one of those freakish days in which, you know, it does? Yeah.
Yeah, you have to get to Weld.
Better reception there - well Sometimes.
Um, I'm looking for someone.
Oh, yeah.
Who? Her name's Jan.
Oh! There's no Jan here.
Oh, yeah, there used to be, but she's back in Sydney now.
Oh, that's her! What - magazine Jan? Yes.
Mate, you need to look in Sydney.
No.
No, no, she's here.
She booked a ticket to New Zealand.
I followed her.
In the helicopter? No.
No, I chartered the chopper in Auckland to fly to Weld, which is where she said she was going.
So, Jan's back, eh? She's a nice lady, Jan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, why did you follow her in a helicopter? Well, be Because I love her.
OK.
That was slightly unusual.
Eh.
So, father of the bride, huh? Yeah, never thought I'd see that day roll around.
I'm sorry you had to hear it from me.
She probably reckoned I'd find out anyhow.
Like father, like daughter.
You and George will be related by marriage.
Is it too early for a drink? G'day.
Is Weld one of those towns where everyone knows everyone else? You could say that.
I'm looking for a woman called Jan.
Oh, Jan doesn't live here anymore.
The only Jan we know lives in Sydney.
Yeah, that's her, that's her.
Australian woman.
Very pregnant with my twins.
Your twins? Yeah.
Do you know where I can find her? I think you'll find they're my twins, mate.
And she's in Sydney.
Your twins? Yeah.
Are you Steve? Yeah, and you're obviously not George.
You must be this Zac fella.
Table for two, thanks, Fiona.
Just anywhere you like, thanks, Tom.
Yeah, so, if Jan were here, I'd know about it.
She is here, mate.
Trust me.
Maybe she's with George.
Can you tell me where I can find him? Are you after Jan, are you? Third leg in the daddy trifecta.
Have you seen her? In a manner.
Oh, was that this morning when you were up at Big Mac's? Was that supposed to be a secret? Yes.
You need me to stay? Oh, no.
I'm sure George is safe enough for the moment.
I was thinking more about you, actually.
Oh! I'm good, thanks, Bill.
So So, what's the story? You, here, Big Mac? I needed to get out of Sydney.
Why? Things were going pear-shaped, which is ironic, given that I am pear-shaped.
Pear-shaped? In what way? Not important.
I just needed to get away.
To Weld? "Frying pan" and 'fire' are words that spring to mind.
This was the last place I remember feeling happy, before we mucked that up, and, well, I needed to feel happy again.
Mac and I had stayed in touch, and he offered to put me up and let me sort myself out.
(COUGHING) Unfortunately, inevitably, word of your arrival has spread.
Oh, for goodness sake! What are you doing here? What do you think I'm doing here? I'm here for you.
I told you to go home to your wife.
And I told you I love you.
And what did I do right after you said that? Well, you got on a plane and left the country.
Did you not get the message in that? You have a pregnant wife.
Go be with her.
No, uh, Taylor told me that the kid might not actually be mine.
Oh, you're making that up! No, no, no, true.
As I'm walking out the door to go to the airport to come here, she suddenly drops into the conversation that she's been shagging some banker.
George, Steve.
Have we actually met? Yeah, we met at some function.
I love your column, by the way.
No, no, no, don't you go getting all matey-matey on me! You get on a plane and go back to your wife, and you well, you can just go too.
Don't turn on me.
I just came to say g'day, see if you needed anything.
Jan is being very well looked after, thanks, Zac.
What he said.
And I think maybe this influx of fathers is rather more than Jan needs right now.
She's very tired, she had an early start, and she needs to rest.
So, if you wouldn't all mind just sodding off until such time as she actually wants to talk to you.
Yeah, now would be good.
Oh, I'm staying in Weld until you realise how much I love you.
Yeah, and I'm staying because I live here.
Wait! Why doesn't he have to leave? He does.
What? I'm just talking to Jan.
Oh, George, please just go! Yeah, George.
One out, all out.
Jan looks good! Pregnancy really suits some women, eh? Is there a motel near here? Oh, you don't want to stay at the motel, mate.
Seriously, you do not.
(SIGHS) You can crash at mine.
Really? Yeah.
I got heaps of room.
Well, that's kind of you, given the circumstances.
BIG MAC: George! Just George.
It's not about Jan.
You remember my friend Rae? Yeah, course I do.
She's a bit of an art lover.
Took a liking to one of Dennis's works, the one hanging up at Kai Nui.
Anyway, after a glass or three, she bought the damn thing.
OK.
No, it's not, because Rae being Rae, she got her art bloke, some city dealer, to take a squiz, especially seeing as it's unsigned, and anyway, this art bloke is dubious whether it's the real thing.
And? Yeah, well, it's Shay who sold her the painting.
I just thought you should know - before things get messy.
OK, well, I will add Shay to the list of people I need to talk to.
Thank you.
OK.
GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) Even though it feels like you're trying to hold back the tide, you can't just sit back and let this malady take hold.
As far as I can figure it, there are three courses of action open to you.
To try to undo the bad through reason and logic.
Come in, my future brother-in-law.
Yeah, yeah, I suppose that's true.
So, are you here to congratulate me? Yeah, sorry, sorry.
Of course.
Congratulations.
You think I'm bonkers.
Absolutely.
Is he here? Popped over to the Stafford Farmers Market.
Something about ponderosa lemons for a dressing.
Yeah, sounds like him.
So, is this the bit where you try to talk me out of it? No, not at all.
'Cause Terry said you would.
Did he also tell you about his shocking reputation with women? And I have a shocking reputation with men, so we're the perfect match.
You think I can't handle myself when it comes to Terry.
No, no.
If anyone can keep up with him, it's you.
I'm a big girl, George.
No, I didn't plan for this or even see it coming, but it did, and I am really happy for the first time in a long time.
It's amazing what falling madly in love can do.
You know the feeling, right? Yeah, I do.
I was very lucky.
Then why would you want to deny me that? Why would you want to deny your brother that? Don't you believe in fairy tales? I want to, but I know how good Terry is at this part of the fairy tale.
It's the "happily ever after" he has a problem with.
Lighten up, George.
I'm good.
We're good.
You should be good too.
Coffee? GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) The problem with diplomacy, as I've written in the past, is that it appeals to the head and not to the heart.
The heart believes in fairy tales.
Strike one.
Oh! George.
Hi.
It's very quiet.
It's about right for this time of year.
How can I help you? Is Shay here? No! She was here this morning.
I've got no idea where she is now.
Can I help you with something? Yeah, there's a painting, apparently, at the restaurant.
Mm-hm.
What about it? Has Big Mac spoken to you about that? No.
Why would he? Because his girlfriend, who bought it, now doesn't think it's real, and it was Shay who sold it to her.
Yes? According to Shay, it was more that Bill Jr sold it on her behalf before she could stop him.
But is it fake or not? You know, you'd think that would be an easy question to answer.
Try me.
It's a long story.
Well, I have time, and so do you, by the looks of things.
Course of action number two.
Forget all about diplomacy and try to tackle the problem head on.
Do whatever it takes to turn the tide.
Hey.
So, have you decided yet? Decided what? What to do with your half of the money.
(SIGHS) You've spoken to Katie.
And then there's the 25,000 from the one at the restaurant.
Katie said you could have all that if you want, which is a lot of money for someone your age.
OK, before you join the choir on the moral high ground That would be the choir of Ike, which is why you broke up with him? The sort of thing Katie and I have been doing is relatively common in the art Don't Don't.
You do not need to give me that speech.
Katie already did that.
Are you gonna give Rae and her art guy that speech? Sorry? The art guy that Rae had look at the painting, the one who pronounced it a fake, are you gonna give him the Andy Warhol speech? Because I'm pretty sure he'd know all about that and where the whole factory art thing ends and fraud begins.
You know the most disappointing thing about all this? Oh, sorry.
It's OK.
OK.
I'm just off to work.
When can we expect you home? I don't know - when work finishes.
You left me in the dark.
I was happy, thinking you'd found something you wanted to do.
And I had.
That was the thing, Dad - I loved it.
So, you can save the lecture.
No, no lectures.
The parental guidebook doesn't cover things like this.
I just want to help you, Shay, but I have no idea how.
Well, you don't have to.
I need to sort this out.
Yeah, YOU do.
I'm sorry, Dad.
What are you apologising to me for? For being such a disappointment.
No you are never that.
What you've done here, yeah, but never you.
I just worry, Shay, when you make choices like this.
GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) The problem with the head-on approach is that essentially all it does is alert someone that the problem exists without ever solving the underlying issues.
Strike two.
Monty.
I hope you're not looking for a rental for the weekend, George.
No.
Why would I? Well, you wouldn't, because you live here, but if you didn't and you were, we haven't got any.
Even the houses with the dead rats and possums in the ceilings.
Busy, George.
This time last year it was dead-dead.
Yeah, like the dead rats and possums decomposing in the ceilings.
That restaurant's going off.
People are driving for miles for a feed.
They're staying the weekend.
Ka-ching, ka-ching.
What - this is the restaurant that excluded Siouxsie and half the town from its opening? I know where you're going with this, George.
It takes a big man to admit he's wrong, and if rental demand continues, I may have to be that big man.
GEORGE: You can't tell Tom about any of this.
Bless him, but Tom would have no idea what to do about art fraud, if it was hung up on the wall in front of him - which it would be if we could afford to go to Kai Nui.
But do you think there'll be any legal ramifications? Are you asking me because of my expertise in the art world, which is none, or my knowledge of the law, which is more extensive, but only in the area of burying dead husbands? I'm asking you because I need to talk to someone, and because you are wise.
Well, in that case yes, on one hand, you are right - Shay is a big girl and needs to own this, as it were And on the other hand? This is Weld, and Weld has its own way of dealing with things.
Hey.
Shay.
I've been thinking.
Well, that's good.
That you should send my share of the money back to Dennis.
I will do that.
And I've been thinking that, because no money changed hands, that we should just tell Rae that the painting isn't for sale.
That would work, except things have moved on.
She came to see you? Yes.
And is she going to the police? No, far from it.
It can't be easy, trying to make a living as an artist in a town like this.
Actually, Shay and I only did this as a favour to Dennis, to help him out of a jam.
But it doesn't change the fact that you sold me a forged painting.
The sale hasn't actually been completed yet.
But an offer was made and accepted.
Not by me.
By someone in your employment.
See, whichever way you look at it, it's not a good look, is it, Katie? No.
Luckily for you, though, if there's one thing I hate, it's a bad investment.
So, I've come up with a deal for both of us.
Which is? Which is I keep the painting and you get Dennis to provide a letter of authentication.
He can sign the painting whenever he's next in Weld.
But in this new deal, I don't pay 25K.
I pay nothing, and in return, I say nothing.
She'll get Dennis to sign it and flick it on for a fortune! Oh, do you think so, Shay? Oh! So, what are we gonna do? I'm gonna regret we ever started it, is what I'm gonna do.
No disrespect, mate, but you're just not her type.
Yeah, I am.
I mean, look at me.
Jan's a city girl, mate, through and through.
I mean, there is no way she's gonna raise her kids out here in the boonies.
Nah, she likes it here, and Weld's a great place to bring up kids.
Hey, Ike? Yeah.
Yeah, we got the beach and, uh, the fishing .
.
and, uh The Super Store.
Everything you need, and heaps more.
Heaps, heaps.
Hey, George.
Steve and I are gonna take the boat out so he can try kina.
Wanna join? Complete the daddy set.
I'm good, thanks.
You sure? You look like you could do with some fresh air.
Oh, no, I think I'll pass.
Hi.
Coffee? Yeah, ta.
Something to eat? No, coffee will be fine, thanks.
Are you OK? Do you think things have changed around here? Well, that's a loaded question coming from you to me.
No, I mean Weld since the pop-up.
Well, the promised flow-on business has certainly eventuated.
I'm well aware of that.
What I mean is, it feels like we've lost our innocence.
You know, I know that sounds stupid, but it's better than talking about the vibe.
The vibe? It doesn't feel like Weld anymore.
It feels like when my brother moved in and all this kicked off, that we we lost something, and then people started doing things they wouldn't normally do - not entirely good things.
Like Hannah.
Hannah is an example.
Or you being punched in the nose.
No, that was a brother thing.
What I'm talking about is I don't like the way this town feels now.
I don't like some of the things people are doing, and I don't like how no-one seems to care or even notice.
Except you.
Well Then maybe you should leave.
I mean, what's keeping you here? I'll get you that coffee.
GEORGE: Course of action number three - make it not your problem by removing yourself from the equation.
WOODY: Hey.
The winds, they are a-changin'.
GEORGE: Are you feeling it too? It's hard not to.
So, it's real, right? It's not just me? The way one restaurant is affecting the town.
Yeah.
What? Isn't that what you're talking about? No, I was thinking on-shore rising at 25 knots before easing.
Oh! What are you on about? Oh, nothing, really.
It's just the way the town has changed.
Oh.
Since your brother's arrived? Yes.
The moral malaise.
(SCOFFS) That's a bit deep, isn't it? Are you sure it's not just you, you know, 'cause your bro's here? Well, don't the two go hand-in-hand? I don't know.
You're the one thinking the deep and meaningfuls.
So, what do you think you're gonna do about it? Yeah, well, there's the rub.
Fiona reckons I should just take off, leave everyone to it.
So, what's stopping you? Well, I'd love to come with you too, mate, but I got Tracey and her job to think about.
And I've got kids, Woody.
Well, do you? Yeah, and they're still dealing with the last time I moved.
So, move without them? (SCOFFS) What? Go, mate! Shay's all grown up, Arlo's clearly making his own decisions.
Yeah, not good ones.
Well, then, maybe this is the shock the kids need - their old man taking off for a bit.
George, eyes on the horizon, mate.
Yeah, but where would I go? Easily sorted, mate.
Easily sorted.
Come on! It's just a bit too real.
(LAUGHS) Alright, Georgie, the whole world right there.
Now, throw it.
Where it lands is where you go.
No questions asked.
Oh, this is stupid.
I said no questions.
That wasn't a question.
Yeah, but you're questioning my wisdom, mate.
OK, don't think about it.
Throw the dart and off you go.
Alright! And close your eyes.
Marianas Trench.
Yeah, try and hit a landmass.
Yes! Iraq! Not gonna happen.
Yeah, no, OK.
This is it, this is it.
I think you just obliterated Weld.
Must be a sign.
You're having problems letting go.
You need to trust this idea, and it's gonna tell you where you need to go.
Feel it.
This is it.
Oi! Bullseye! Uh, London, or thereabouts.
Have you ever been? No.
No, I was going there, until I met Laura.
Oh, well, that's a sign if I've ever seen one.
Yeah.
GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) Let me be crystal clear here.
Running away is not an option.
Yes, some might argue running away is how I ended up here, but it is not an option now, because there is way too much at stake to even think about leaving.
So, it's strike three on that one.
All I wanted was to help and do something fun, but suddenly, because it makes money, it's somehow wrong? That sucks! Nothing wrong with making money.
Apparently there is.
And it wasn't like I was even planning to sell the painting at the restaurant.
I just thought it would be cool to have something I'd done on show where I live.
A proper painting on a proper wall, not on the side of the Super Store.
But now I'm apparently some sort of criminal genius.
I know how we can fix it.
How we can make everything alright.
Is that legal? What? Well, don't you have to have an actual ring to be legally engaged? No, Arlo.
That bit comes later.
It's romantic is what it is.
If you're looking to make a booking, you're out of luck, mate.
Is Terry here? Is Terry here? No, he just popped out back.
Ta.
Hitting already? Whatever gets you through the night, eh? And if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger, right? Hey, guess what I put on the menu tonight.
Mac and cheese.
Just like Mum taught us.
Yours is nothing like Mum taught us.
Which is why I get to charge the earth.
You look bloody awful, by the way.
I've been celebrating the good news.
You heard the good news, right? Yeah, I did.
Ahh.
Course you did.
You went round to see Hannah, try and talk her out of it.
No, I went to see you, and I took the opportunity to check that Hannah knew exactly what she was getting herself into.
(LAUGHS) Oh, she knows, mate.
She's a good person.
Try to let her down lightly.
See, that supposes that I'm gonna take off on her.
Oh, you will.
You're still singing the same old song.
This is such a sweet gig! Why would I want to walk away from that? Because you and Weld, you don't fit together.
I disagree.
Ollie, my man! Chef.
Mr Turner.
Ollie.
So, why are you here, George? It's clearly not to congratulate me.
To give you the chance to do the right thing.
Which is what? To tell Hannah that you were mistaken in proposing to her and to beg her forgiveness, and to tell Robbie McNamara when you'll be leaving, as opposed to doing your usual runner in the middle of the night.
And why would I do either of those things? Like I said, you and Weld don't go together.
But I love it here.
No, you don't.
You're only staying here because of me.
What? You heard.
(LAUGHS) You gotta get over yourself, man.
You gotta actually understand that you're not that important to me.
Yeah, I am, actually.
I'm a bit slow on it.
Out of practice, I guess.
I mean, I should have figured it out when you punched me in the face.
I mean, that was a dead giveaway I'll punch you again, if you like! Forget why you arrived here, what drove you here.
It's what you've done while you've been here that matters, how you took the opportunity that Big Mac gave you and you ran with it.
What - the opportunity to create a great restaurant in the middle of nowhere? Exactly! In the middle of nowhere.
I mean, since when does the great Terry Turner stay in the middle of nowhere unless to get back at his brother? This is all about London.
This is about you showing me, up close, in my own backyard, what I missed out on.
For once in your life, you'd done all the work.
You'd put in the hours, got your hands dirty, and all you needed was me .
.
and I failed you.
You found the place, got the lease sorted.
Everything was in the right place .
.
and I betrayed you, because I fell in love, and I never got on that plane, and everything fell apart, and it took you five years to recover.
You know, we could have been so good together.
We could have taken the world by storm.
Yeah, we could have, but my world changed when I met Laura, and I'm not sorry for that, not for a minute.
You are great, Terry, and you are brave in ways that I can't even imagine, but you don't need me, and you certainly don't need to prove anything to me in the town where I live, and rub my nose in it.
I get it.
I really do.
I got 50 covers to oversee.
This place isn't you, Terry.
There people aren't you! Yeah, well, you tell that to the 50 covers.
Terry! I'm gonna write an article about this place, about what it's done to the town .
.
and you're not gonna like it.
We both do what we gotta do, right? GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) A big bad wolf came to my town.
For a long time, I thought the wolf was my brother, and I told people so.
But the wolf isn't him.
The wolf is what he brought with him.
And it is my fault that he did this thing.
GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) There is a restaurant in my town.
People come from far and wide to eat at this restaurant.
Thanks for coming.
Well, that was exceptional, as always.
Bless you, Jan.
Gotta keep George's boys fed, eh? Well, that's if they actually ARE his.
Three dads.
She's a bit of a dark horse.
Maybe I learnt from you, Terry.
(COUGHS) And on that note, we should go.
Yeah.
The people came for good reason.
Thank you.
For this restaurant would not be out of place in New York, Paris .
.
or London.
Oh, hi! I hope you don't mind, but everyone's coming back to our place to continue the engagement celebrations.
Our place? You know what I mean.
Is that cool with you? Let the party roll on.
You wanna go to Hannah's for a while? Sure.
Yeah.
Hey, man, if you wanna go to Hannah's place, I can lock up.
Are you sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No worries.
Thanks.
(KEYS JANGLE) But while the restaurant may not be out of place in any of the great cities of the world, the town where I live is not a great city, so when something like the restaurant lands in the middle of it, everything changes - the nature of the town and the nature of the people.
Oh, my, my You get in my head You're in my head You're in my head Oh, my, my You get in my head You're in my head You're in my head All the time I spent with you Take me back to your place.
I was right behind you Oh, my, my You get in my head You're in my head You're in my head I dreamt a hundred times she Ran off with me Are you sure about this? It's the way, I'm telling you.
Innocence, for want of a better word, is what has been lost since the big bad wolf has arrived in our town.
Can I tell you something? Yeah.
What? I actually think you're way more like your uncle than your dad.
You could be him one day.
Oh, my, my You do the honours.
Oh, my, my Oh, my, my Oh, my, my You get in my head It's the only way, Shay.
You get rid of the painting and all your problems go up in smoke.
Oh, my, my You get in my head You're in my head You're in my head All the time I spent with you I loved my town the way it was before the wolf open his doors.
Something changed after that, and I reckon not for the better.
Kai Nui is not us, but that's just me, that's my opinion, and my opinion means little compared to the will of the people.
So, what do you think? Tell me I'm right, or tell me I'm the boy who cried wolf.
Once upon a time there was a man who gave it all He had nothing to his name But the wind and the rain at his feet Gloria, Tom.
George.
Stirrer! The world he knew the water and the water knew his heart Would have joined him in the desert If he'd let it It is sweet to the taste It's music to my soul It is wind to my ways The peace down on the still Once upon a man there was a man who killed my rage Broken and crushed like the vintage we poured in the barrels It is sweet to the taste It's music to my soul It is wind to my ways Peace down on the still .
- It's morning, Uncle Terry.
I'm opening a fine dining experience.
Kai Nui will bring people, wealth, and opportunity to Weld, and I want you to get on board.
I'm not here to cause trouble.
You never are, but that doesn't stop the inevitable, does it? I'm on the war path.
What's he done now? He's poached Hannah! Yes! SHAY: Long story short, we're doing the grunt work for him.
Yeah, but isn't that also fraud? So, we're over, then - over some stupid paintings? I want kids.
Do you want to have kids with me? Is this us Are we TERRY: Look, we had a labour shortage and we solved the problem.
I don't want Arlo turning into you.
Your son will not be harmed in the making of this triumph.
I hope you're happy now that you've got everyone's hopes up - before you abandon them.
2x15 GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) It doesn't happen all at once, till suddenly, over time, you start to realise, to see things.
George.
Hey, Tom.
Apparently if you can afford to eat at our flash new restaurant, you can also park wherever you like.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, apparently.
Oh, you wouldn't mind taking a quick pic, would you? GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) A bunch of things you never noticed before, that, when you put them together, change the very nature of where you call home.
Journey's too far for me Ohh, ohh, ohh My soul, it came home With tales of a way that I'll escape All of which leads to the question, what are you meant to do when you realise the place you live, the town that you love, that you actually don't love it as much as you used to? Captivity for me.
Hi! I just JAN: (PHONE) Hi.
You've called Jan.
Please leave me a message.
Hi.
Look, this might sound odd, but was that you in Weld, in Big Mac's car? I was out jogging and I think I saw you.
It could be lack of oxygen - either that, or I'm going mad - but anyway, call me.
Hey.
How was your run? Shall I call a doctor? Very funny.
What's up with the great work on the Super Store wall? You ever gonna finish it? Talk to Ike.
Nothing to do with me, OK? Loud and clear.
Arlo emerged yet? You mean you didn't hear him come home last night? No.
Why? It was just after 2:00.
But the agreement was not after midnight on a school night.
Oh, no! Teenager ignores parental command.
Alert the media! No, wait - in this town, that's you.
Come on, Arlo.
School.
Breakfast.
School.
ARLO: Oh, Dad, get out! Hi, Mr T.
Lindsay.
Busted.
OK, yes, Dad, Lindsay, but, no, not busted, because nothing happened, yeah? She just crashed after work and that's all.
Right.
That old one.
It went super late at the restaurant and your place is closer, so it was a no-brainer, really.
Mm-hm.
Shay, not helping.
No, not helping at all.
Does your father know you're here? I can text him if you want.
If you would be so kind.
It was a really great night at the restaurant.
You still have school.
Is it a school day? Yes, Lindsay.
School being a Monday-to-Friday thing.
It doesn't matter.
We have food tech first.
And the others were still there when we left, so they'll be super late.
We leave in ten.
(PHONE RINGS) Thanks, Mr T.
You're amazing.
Yeah, thanks, Dad.
Have a good day, love.
Bill.
Hey, George.
Very kind of you to bring Lindsay her bag.
Ahh, she got lucky.
I'm only here 'cause the gym dunnies are backed up again.
You should write about that in your paper.
I'll keep it in mind.
Does this mean she's moved back in with you? No! No, no, that was a one-off.
Oh.
I quite like it just being me and the boy.
Much quieter around the house.
Yeah.
Him in his room doing boy things.
No, well, that won't happen again.
Oh.
Never mind.
Bill, are you at all concerned how late these kids are working on a school night? No.
Why would I be? Well, it might affect their schoolwork, that's all.
Turner, this IS my kids' schoolwork.
Jared's found something he can actually do and Lindsay's been raking it in in tips, so she's well happy.
In fact, you're the only one who isn't, as far as I can tell.
Happy, that is.
Well, I just want my boy to have a good education, that's all.
What - by studying the novels of Wordsworth? (LAUGHS) Good one, Turner.
I'll catch you round.
I'm worried, that's all.
I get that, George, and you have been for a while.
That was about my brother.
This is about my son and the other kids that work there.
I mean, Arlo came home at I don't know what time on a school night.
Yes, which is not ideal.
No, it's not.
Which is why we're looking at rescheduling classes for those working at the restaurant so they start school later in the day.
What - you'd rather change what happens here than what goes on there? For this group of students, yes.
The numpties? I'm sorry if that's an offensive term.
Oh, no, not anymore.
To be a numpty is very cool now at Weld District High.
You can't seriously think what's going on here is good, can you? Let me clue you in, George.
Do you know how many Gateway students were absent this morning? Quite a few, I presume.
Not one.
We've had perfect numpty attendance since the partnership launched.
I mean, sure, they arrived late, but they are, for once in their lives, proud to be at school.
Meanwhile, we're front page of the Ministry's regional newsletter.
Stafford High - the girls one and the boys one - are sending staff to see the program in action, and there's even talk we might end up on the TV news.
Yeah, I can see how it's good for PR For a school like ours, absolutely! In fact, the only media not lining up to do a story is the one you're editor of.
That's not the point.
It's OK, George.
I get that there's negative feelings with your brother, especially after he punched you at the opening.
That's also not the point, and not unusual for him.
Well, then, why not show us some love and write about these kids I'm so proud of? One of whom happens to be your son.
Oh, I am acutely aware of that.
Numpties rule, George.
SHAY: Hey.
Hey.
So, we have a problem? We do.
Is this a Rae problem? No.
I haven't heard from her.
Maybe she was drunk.
Sorry? There was heaps of champagne at the opening.
Maybe she's forgotten.
Buying a 25,000 painting? It could happen.
So, if this isn't a Rae problem Yet.
.
.
then what IS the problem? Check out what was deposited into my bank account last night.
Whoa! It's from Dennis.
Our share of the proceeds from the Vienna show.
Dennis is clearly going off in Austria.
Clearly.
And how is this a problem for us? Maybe it isn't for you, but it is for me.
Oh, Katie, don't go down this road.
This was meant to be about helping out a friend.
Which we so did.
Not about making a fortune selling bogus works of art! Getting paid for it doesn't necessarily make it bogus, and if everyone who bought a painting is happy with their painting, then why should we miss out? Earning a fortune selling Dennis knock-offs .
.
I feel dirty.
Which is why I'm giving my half back.
The other half is yours.
You can do what you like with it.
Which one? I don't want to seem too happy in my work.
That one.
Look, George, we're talking Weld when it's normally dead, when any sort of business is gold for a town like ours, not to mention the training opportunities for those kids.
Things like this just don't happen around here.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Someone from this paper needs to write the story of the triumph of the numpties, and if you don't want to do it, I will.
Yeah, look, I know what you mean, but this morning I'm out running, and you're towing the sort of car that you don't usually see here.
And loving it, just quietly.
And I run past the restaurant and I see Terry stumbling out, clearly off his nut, having pulled an all-nighter with Hannah and Robbie, and I think to myself Robbie McNamara.
Yes, getting into the car.
Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Is this us? Is this Weld?" People staying up all night? No.
Well, yes, in terms of how they're doing it - fuelled by god knows what, knowing my brother.
What time was this exactly? Just after I saw you.
Right.
If you'll excuse me.
It was an image - part of a bigger picture about what my brother's restaurant is doing to this town.
A moral malaise? Yes, Gloria.
Something like that.
GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) Of course, when it comes to these matters, the problem is there's nothing tangible to go on.
Everything looks much the same, but there is, for want of a much, much better word, something different about the vibe, and if you start talking about the vibe People look at you like you're mad.
Tom.
Big Mac.
What can I do for you? I need a word with Robbie.
This is bollocks, man.
Not at all, Mr McNamara.
Just making sure we're all on the same page when it comes to our parole conditions, especially the part about you being clean and sober.
Is it even legal to breathalyse a man in his own home? Yes, it is.
It's not even lunchtime! What on earth makes you think he'd be drunk at this time of the day? Let's just say there was a sighting, where there seemed to be alcohol involved.
Turner.
I'm I'm not at liberty to divulge my source.
You don't have to.
Go on, then.
Hand over your bloody machine.
You need to blow until it beeps.
Yeah, I know, mate.
I've done it before.
Sure you have.
WOMAN: Bill? You never saw me.
(BREATHALYSER BEEPS) See? As the sober one, I was the designated driver.
Something you should be applauding, not persecuting.
In case there's any other loopholes you wanna try and do me on, I was at my place of work all night, and then I did my civic duty by driving home those who were incapable of driving, after which I returned to my appointed place of residence, as per my parole conditions.
Are we done? So, you were at the restaurant all night, were you? My son has been making the most of his second chance and doing great things for this town, and this suspicion is the way you repay him? Alright, Dad, I got this.
Look, it was a huge night, and we didn't wrap till around two-ish, and then there were the celebrations.
Celebrations of what? The great news, of course.
Haven't you heard? You look terrible, by the way.
Well, I haven't actually been to bed yet.
Well, I have, but I haven't been to sleep.
I don't need to know.
You want some lunch? Mmm, no, I couldn't face food right now, but I wanted you to be the first to know - well, the first one who wasn't actually there at the time.
Know what? That you have a wire cork cage stuck to your finger? It's called a muselet.
Oh, that's right - you work in a classy restaurant now.
It's my engagement ring! Wow! Yeah, wow! And this was given to you by? By some random fat rich guy I met last night.
By Terry! Who do you think? Wow.
You said that.
What - he couldn't run to an actual ring? I think it's kind of romantic, a one-off, and it was kind of a spontaneous thing.
MEN: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! You seriously think that I'm not gonna do it? I don't think you've got the guts.
Alright, then.
Will you, the lovely Hannah, the sexiest woman in Weld, make me, the sexiest man in my family, the happiest man alive if I promise to make you the happiest woman alive? No.
You have to say the actual words.
Hannah, will you marry me? Yes, Terry, I will.
(CHEERING) That is actually quite romantic.
That's what I thought at the time.
And now, given that you're relatively sober? I still do.
So, do I get a hug or not? GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) The worst bit is knowing something is wrong and seeing it affect the ones you care about.
And feeling like you can't do a damned thing to stop it.
Unfortunately, the photographer had gone before he could get a shot of you with your bloody nose.
Oh, and with your Scottish heritage, is it 'numpty' with a 'Y' or 'numptie' with an I-E? 'Y' singular, I-E plural.
Oh.
Well, that was interesting.
What was, petal? Just been up to the McNamara place.
I've asked you not to call me 'petal' when I'm in uniform.
Sorry, my love god.
It It was interesting on three fronts.
First, Robbie McNamara may be under the impression that you dobbed him in this morning.
Well, how Second, they were at the restaurant all night because they were celebrating the engagement.
The Hannah engagement to Terry That was quick.
Not by Terry's standards.
Seriously.
He has form.
What was the third thing? You don't want to spend more time digesting the second thing? I'll deal with that later.
There was a guest at the McNamara place.
Jan? Are you psychic or something? I saw her in the car when I was out running this morning.
You had an eventful run.
Did she say why she was here? No.
In fact, she seemed keen that no-one know she was here.
WOODY: What happened to the woman I know who said that she would rather have her legs ripped off by a tiger shark than get married? HANNAH: OK, yeah, I did say that.
Yeah, and what about the woman who said that waves are like men - you gotta ride as many as you can, 'cause there's no such thing as a perfect wave, just like there's no such thing as a perfect man? OK, I get the point, Woody.
Hey, I'm just asking! OK, shut it, Woody! She met a guy she really likes.
That's all.
OK.
That's all I need to hear.
And in that case, happy bloody engagement! (WOODY AND HANNAH WHOOP) Jeez! See, first they turn up in their flash off-road vehicles that have never been off-road in their lives, and now this? I mean, what's next? Probably hovercrafts.
Oh, he's coming to us.
Oh, excuse me! G'day.
Is this Weld? No.
Oh! The pilot said it was.
Yeah, nah, this is Parata Bay, mate.
Weld is the town near Parata Bay, but not actually at Parata Bay.
So, it's near here? Yeah, five minutes that way.
Well, less by helicopter, but yours has taken off.
Um I need to get to Weld.
Yeah, well, you're in the general vicinity.
Oh, that won't work here, mate.
No, not unless it's one of those freakish days in which, you know, it does? Yeah.
Yeah, you have to get to Weld.
Better reception there - well Sometimes.
Um, I'm looking for someone.
Oh, yeah.
Who? Her name's Jan.
Oh! There's no Jan here.
Oh, yeah, there used to be, but she's back in Sydney now.
Oh, that's her! What - magazine Jan? Yes.
Mate, you need to look in Sydney.
No.
No, no, she's here.
She booked a ticket to New Zealand.
I followed her.
In the helicopter? No.
No, I chartered the chopper in Auckland to fly to Weld, which is where she said she was going.
So, Jan's back, eh? She's a nice lady, Jan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, why did you follow her in a helicopter? Well, be Because I love her.
OK.
That was slightly unusual.
Eh.
So, father of the bride, huh? Yeah, never thought I'd see that day roll around.
I'm sorry you had to hear it from me.
She probably reckoned I'd find out anyhow.
Like father, like daughter.
You and George will be related by marriage.
Is it too early for a drink? G'day.
Is Weld one of those towns where everyone knows everyone else? You could say that.
I'm looking for a woman called Jan.
Oh, Jan doesn't live here anymore.
The only Jan we know lives in Sydney.
Yeah, that's her, that's her.
Australian woman.
Very pregnant with my twins.
Your twins? Yeah.
Do you know where I can find her? I think you'll find they're my twins, mate.
And she's in Sydney.
Your twins? Yeah.
Are you Steve? Yeah, and you're obviously not George.
You must be this Zac fella.
Table for two, thanks, Fiona.
Just anywhere you like, thanks, Tom.
Yeah, so, if Jan were here, I'd know about it.
She is here, mate.
Trust me.
Maybe she's with George.
Can you tell me where I can find him? Are you after Jan, are you? Third leg in the daddy trifecta.
Have you seen her? In a manner.
Oh, was that this morning when you were up at Big Mac's? Was that supposed to be a secret? Yes.
You need me to stay? Oh, no.
I'm sure George is safe enough for the moment.
I was thinking more about you, actually.
Oh! I'm good, thanks, Bill.
So So, what's the story? You, here, Big Mac? I needed to get out of Sydney.
Why? Things were going pear-shaped, which is ironic, given that I am pear-shaped.
Pear-shaped? In what way? Not important.
I just needed to get away.
To Weld? "Frying pan" and 'fire' are words that spring to mind.
This was the last place I remember feeling happy, before we mucked that up, and, well, I needed to feel happy again.
Mac and I had stayed in touch, and he offered to put me up and let me sort myself out.
(COUGHING) Unfortunately, inevitably, word of your arrival has spread.
Oh, for goodness sake! What are you doing here? What do you think I'm doing here? I'm here for you.
I told you to go home to your wife.
And I told you I love you.
And what did I do right after you said that? Well, you got on a plane and left the country.
Did you not get the message in that? You have a pregnant wife.
Go be with her.
No, uh, Taylor told me that the kid might not actually be mine.
Oh, you're making that up! No, no, no, true.
As I'm walking out the door to go to the airport to come here, she suddenly drops into the conversation that she's been shagging some banker.
George, Steve.
Have we actually met? Yeah, we met at some function.
I love your column, by the way.
No, no, no, don't you go getting all matey-matey on me! You get on a plane and go back to your wife, and you well, you can just go too.
Don't turn on me.
I just came to say g'day, see if you needed anything.
Jan is being very well looked after, thanks, Zac.
What he said.
And I think maybe this influx of fathers is rather more than Jan needs right now.
She's very tired, she had an early start, and she needs to rest.
So, if you wouldn't all mind just sodding off until such time as she actually wants to talk to you.
Yeah, now would be good.
Oh, I'm staying in Weld until you realise how much I love you.
Yeah, and I'm staying because I live here.
Wait! Why doesn't he have to leave? He does.
What? I'm just talking to Jan.
Oh, George, please just go! Yeah, George.
One out, all out.
Jan looks good! Pregnancy really suits some women, eh? Is there a motel near here? Oh, you don't want to stay at the motel, mate.
Seriously, you do not.
(SIGHS) You can crash at mine.
Really? Yeah.
I got heaps of room.
Well, that's kind of you, given the circumstances.
BIG MAC: George! Just George.
It's not about Jan.
You remember my friend Rae? Yeah, course I do.
She's a bit of an art lover.
Took a liking to one of Dennis's works, the one hanging up at Kai Nui.
Anyway, after a glass or three, she bought the damn thing.
OK.
No, it's not, because Rae being Rae, she got her art bloke, some city dealer, to take a squiz, especially seeing as it's unsigned, and anyway, this art bloke is dubious whether it's the real thing.
And? Yeah, well, it's Shay who sold her the painting.
I just thought you should know - before things get messy.
OK, well, I will add Shay to the list of people I need to talk to.
Thank you.
OK.
GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) Even though it feels like you're trying to hold back the tide, you can't just sit back and let this malady take hold.
As far as I can figure it, there are three courses of action open to you.
To try to undo the bad through reason and logic.
Come in, my future brother-in-law.
Yeah, yeah, I suppose that's true.
So, are you here to congratulate me? Yeah, sorry, sorry.
Of course.
Congratulations.
You think I'm bonkers.
Absolutely.
Is he here? Popped over to the Stafford Farmers Market.
Something about ponderosa lemons for a dressing.
Yeah, sounds like him.
So, is this the bit where you try to talk me out of it? No, not at all.
'Cause Terry said you would.
Did he also tell you about his shocking reputation with women? And I have a shocking reputation with men, so we're the perfect match.
You think I can't handle myself when it comes to Terry.
No, no.
If anyone can keep up with him, it's you.
I'm a big girl, George.
No, I didn't plan for this or even see it coming, but it did, and I am really happy for the first time in a long time.
It's amazing what falling madly in love can do.
You know the feeling, right? Yeah, I do.
I was very lucky.
Then why would you want to deny me that? Why would you want to deny your brother that? Don't you believe in fairy tales? I want to, but I know how good Terry is at this part of the fairy tale.
It's the "happily ever after" he has a problem with.
Lighten up, George.
I'm good.
We're good.
You should be good too.
Coffee? GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) The problem with diplomacy, as I've written in the past, is that it appeals to the head and not to the heart.
The heart believes in fairy tales.
Strike one.
Oh! George.
Hi.
It's very quiet.
It's about right for this time of year.
How can I help you? Is Shay here? No! She was here this morning.
I've got no idea where she is now.
Can I help you with something? Yeah, there's a painting, apparently, at the restaurant.
Mm-hm.
What about it? Has Big Mac spoken to you about that? No.
Why would he? Because his girlfriend, who bought it, now doesn't think it's real, and it was Shay who sold it to her.
Yes? According to Shay, it was more that Bill Jr sold it on her behalf before she could stop him.
But is it fake or not? You know, you'd think that would be an easy question to answer.
Try me.
It's a long story.
Well, I have time, and so do you, by the looks of things.
Course of action number two.
Forget all about diplomacy and try to tackle the problem head on.
Do whatever it takes to turn the tide.
Hey.
So, have you decided yet? Decided what? What to do with your half of the money.
(SIGHS) You've spoken to Katie.
And then there's the 25,000 from the one at the restaurant.
Katie said you could have all that if you want, which is a lot of money for someone your age.
OK, before you join the choir on the moral high ground That would be the choir of Ike, which is why you broke up with him? The sort of thing Katie and I have been doing is relatively common in the art Don't Don't.
You do not need to give me that speech.
Katie already did that.
Are you gonna give Rae and her art guy that speech? Sorry? The art guy that Rae had look at the painting, the one who pronounced it a fake, are you gonna give him the Andy Warhol speech? Because I'm pretty sure he'd know all about that and where the whole factory art thing ends and fraud begins.
You know the most disappointing thing about all this? Oh, sorry.
It's OK.
OK.
I'm just off to work.
When can we expect you home? I don't know - when work finishes.
You left me in the dark.
I was happy, thinking you'd found something you wanted to do.
And I had.
That was the thing, Dad - I loved it.
So, you can save the lecture.
No, no lectures.
The parental guidebook doesn't cover things like this.
I just want to help you, Shay, but I have no idea how.
Well, you don't have to.
I need to sort this out.
Yeah, YOU do.
I'm sorry, Dad.
What are you apologising to me for? For being such a disappointment.
No you are never that.
What you've done here, yeah, but never you.
I just worry, Shay, when you make choices like this.
GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) The problem with the head-on approach is that essentially all it does is alert someone that the problem exists without ever solving the underlying issues.
Strike two.
Monty.
I hope you're not looking for a rental for the weekend, George.
No.
Why would I? Well, you wouldn't, because you live here, but if you didn't and you were, we haven't got any.
Even the houses with the dead rats and possums in the ceilings.
Busy, George.
This time last year it was dead-dead.
Yeah, like the dead rats and possums decomposing in the ceilings.
That restaurant's going off.
People are driving for miles for a feed.
They're staying the weekend.
Ka-ching, ka-ching.
What - this is the restaurant that excluded Siouxsie and half the town from its opening? I know where you're going with this, George.
It takes a big man to admit he's wrong, and if rental demand continues, I may have to be that big man.
GEORGE: You can't tell Tom about any of this.
Bless him, but Tom would have no idea what to do about art fraud, if it was hung up on the wall in front of him - which it would be if we could afford to go to Kai Nui.
But do you think there'll be any legal ramifications? Are you asking me because of my expertise in the art world, which is none, or my knowledge of the law, which is more extensive, but only in the area of burying dead husbands? I'm asking you because I need to talk to someone, and because you are wise.
Well, in that case yes, on one hand, you are right - Shay is a big girl and needs to own this, as it were And on the other hand? This is Weld, and Weld has its own way of dealing with things.
Hey.
Shay.
I've been thinking.
Well, that's good.
That you should send my share of the money back to Dennis.
I will do that.
And I've been thinking that, because no money changed hands, that we should just tell Rae that the painting isn't for sale.
That would work, except things have moved on.
She came to see you? Yes.
And is she going to the police? No, far from it.
It can't be easy, trying to make a living as an artist in a town like this.
Actually, Shay and I only did this as a favour to Dennis, to help him out of a jam.
But it doesn't change the fact that you sold me a forged painting.
The sale hasn't actually been completed yet.
But an offer was made and accepted.
Not by me.
By someone in your employment.
See, whichever way you look at it, it's not a good look, is it, Katie? No.
Luckily for you, though, if there's one thing I hate, it's a bad investment.
So, I've come up with a deal for both of us.
Which is? Which is I keep the painting and you get Dennis to provide a letter of authentication.
He can sign the painting whenever he's next in Weld.
But in this new deal, I don't pay 25K.
I pay nothing, and in return, I say nothing.
She'll get Dennis to sign it and flick it on for a fortune! Oh, do you think so, Shay? Oh! So, what are we gonna do? I'm gonna regret we ever started it, is what I'm gonna do.
No disrespect, mate, but you're just not her type.
Yeah, I am.
I mean, look at me.
Jan's a city girl, mate, through and through.
I mean, there is no way she's gonna raise her kids out here in the boonies.
Nah, she likes it here, and Weld's a great place to bring up kids.
Hey, Ike? Yeah.
Yeah, we got the beach and, uh, the fishing .
.
and, uh The Super Store.
Everything you need, and heaps more.
Heaps, heaps.
Hey, George.
Steve and I are gonna take the boat out so he can try kina.
Wanna join? Complete the daddy set.
I'm good, thanks.
You sure? You look like you could do with some fresh air.
Oh, no, I think I'll pass.
Hi.
Coffee? Yeah, ta.
Something to eat? No, coffee will be fine, thanks.
Are you OK? Do you think things have changed around here? Well, that's a loaded question coming from you to me.
No, I mean Weld since the pop-up.
Well, the promised flow-on business has certainly eventuated.
I'm well aware of that.
What I mean is, it feels like we've lost our innocence.
You know, I know that sounds stupid, but it's better than talking about the vibe.
The vibe? It doesn't feel like Weld anymore.
It feels like when my brother moved in and all this kicked off, that we we lost something, and then people started doing things they wouldn't normally do - not entirely good things.
Like Hannah.
Hannah is an example.
Or you being punched in the nose.
No, that was a brother thing.
What I'm talking about is I don't like the way this town feels now.
I don't like some of the things people are doing, and I don't like how no-one seems to care or even notice.
Except you.
Well Then maybe you should leave.
I mean, what's keeping you here? I'll get you that coffee.
GEORGE: Course of action number three - make it not your problem by removing yourself from the equation.
WOODY: Hey.
The winds, they are a-changin'.
GEORGE: Are you feeling it too? It's hard not to.
So, it's real, right? It's not just me? The way one restaurant is affecting the town.
Yeah.
What? Isn't that what you're talking about? No, I was thinking on-shore rising at 25 knots before easing.
Oh! What are you on about? Oh, nothing, really.
It's just the way the town has changed.
Oh.
Since your brother's arrived? Yes.
The moral malaise.
(SCOFFS) That's a bit deep, isn't it? Are you sure it's not just you, you know, 'cause your bro's here? Well, don't the two go hand-in-hand? I don't know.
You're the one thinking the deep and meaningfuls.
So, what do you think you're gonna do about it? Yeah, well, there's the rub.
Fiona reckons I should just take off, leave everyone to it.
So, what's stopping you? Well, I'd love to come with you too, mate, but I got Tracey and her job to think about.
And I've got kids, Woody.
Well, do you? Yeah, and they're still dealing with the last time I moved.
So, move without them? (SCOFFS) What? Go, mate! Shay's all grown up, Arlo's clearly making his own decisions.
Yeah, not good ones.
Well, then, maybe this is the shock the kids need - their old man taking off for a bit.
George, eyes on the horizon, mate.
Yeah, but where would I go? Easily sorted, mate.
Easily sorted.
Come on! It's just a bit too real.
(LAUGHS) Alright, Georgie, the whole world right there.
Now, throw it.
Where it lands is where you go.
No questions asked.
Oh, this is stupid.
I said no questions.
That wasn't a question.
Yeah, but you're questioning my wisdom, mate.
OK, don't think about it.
Throw the dart and off you go.
Alright! And close your eyes.
Marianas Trench.
Yeah, try and hit a landmass.
Yes! Iraq! Not gonna happen.
Yeah, no, OK.
This is it, this is it.
I think you just obliterated Weld.
Must be a sign.
You're having problems letting go.
You need to trust this idea, and it's gonna tell you where you need to go.
Feel it.
This is it.
Oi! Bullseye! Uh, London, or thereabouts.
Have you ever been? No.
No, I was going there, until I met Laura.
Oh, well, that's a sign if I've ever seen one.
Yeah.
GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) Let me be crystal clear here.
Running away is not an option.
Yes, some might argue running away is how I ended up here, but it is not an option now, because there is way too much at stake to even think about leaving.
So, it's strike three on that one.
All I wanted was to help and do something fun, but suddenly, because it makes money, it's somehow wrong? That sucks! Nothing wrong with making money.
Apparently there is.
And it wasn't like I was even planning to sell the painting at the restaurant.
I just thought it would be cool to have something I'd done on show where I live.
A proper painting on a proper wall, not on the side of the Super Store.
But now I'm apparently some sort of criminal genius.
I know how we can fix it.
How we can make everything alright.
Is that legal? What? Well, don't you have to have an actual ring to be legally engaged? No, Arlo.
That bit comes later.
It's romantic is what it is.
If you're looking to make a booking, you're out of luck, mate.
Is Terry here? Is Terry here? No, he just popped out back.
Ta.
Hitting already? Whatever gets you through the night, eh? And if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger, right? Hey, guess what I put on the menu tonight.
Mac and cheese.
Just like Mum taught us.
Yours is nothing like Mum taught us.
Which is why I get to charge the earth.
You look bloody awful, by the way.
I've been celebrating the good news.
You heard the good news, right? Yeah, I did.
Ahh.
Course you did.
You went round to see Hannah, try and talk her out of it.
No, I went to see you, and I took the opportunity to check that Hannah knew exactly what she was getting herself into.
(LAUGHS) Oh, she knows, mate.
She's a good person.
Try to let her down lightly.
See, that supposes that I'm gonna take off on her.
Oh, you will.
You're still singing the same old song.
This is such a sweet gig! Why would I want to walk away from that? Because you and Weld, you don't fit together.
I disagree.
Ollie, my man! Chef.
Mr Turner.
Ollie.
So, why are you here, George? It's clearly not to congratulate me.
To give you the chance to do the right thing.
Which is what? To tell Hannah that you were mistaken in proposing to her and to beg her forgiveness, and to tell Robbie McNamara when you'll be leaving, as opposed to doing your usual runner in the middle of the night.
And why would I do either of those things? Like I said, you and Weld don't go together.
But I love it here.
No, you don't.
You're only staying here because of me.
What? You heard.
(LAUGHS) You gotta get over yourself, man.
You gotta actually understand that you're not that important to me.
Yeah, I am, actually.
I'm a bit slow on it.
Out of practice, I guess.
I mean, I should have figured it out when you punched me in the face.
I mean, that was a dead giveaway I'll punch you again, if you like! Forget why you arrived here, what drove you here.
It's what you've done while you've been here that matters, how you took the opportunity that Big Mac gave you and you ran with it.
What - the opportunity to create a great restaurant in the middle of nowhere? Exactly! In the middle of nowhere.
I mean, since when does the great Terry Turner stay in the middle of nowhere unless to get back at his brother? This is all about London.
This is about you showing me, up close, in my own backyard, what I missed out on.
For once in your life, you'd done all the work.
You'd put in the hours, got your hands dirty, and all you needed was me .
.
and I failed you.
You found the place, got the lease sorted.
Everything was in the right place .
.
and I betrayed you, because I fell in love, and I never got on that plane, and everything fell apart, and it took you five years to recover.
You know, we could have been so good together.
We could have taken the world by storm.
Yeah, we could have, but my world changed when I met Laura, and I'm not sorry for that, not for a minute.
You are great, Terry, and you are brave in ways that I can't even imagine, but you don't need me, and you certainly don't need to prove anything to me in the town where I live, and rub my nose in it.
I get it.
I really do.
I got 50 covers to oversee.
This place isn't you, Terry.
There people aren't you! Yeah, well, you tell that to the 50 covers.
Terry! I'm gonna write an article about this place, about what it's done to the town .
.
and you're not gonna like it.
We both do what we gotta do, right? GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) A big bad wolf came to my town.
For a long time, I thought the wolf was my brother, and I told people so.
But the wolf isn't him.
The wolf is what he brought with him.
And it is my fault that he did this thing.
GEORGE: (VOICEOVER) There is a restaurant in my town.
People come from far and wide to eat at this restaurant.
Thanks for coming.
Well, that was exceptional, as always.
Bless you, Jan.
Gotta keep George's boys fed, eh? Well, that's if they actually ARE his.
Three dads.
She's a bit of a dark horse.
Maybe I learnt from you, Terry.
(COUGHS) And on that note, we should go.
Yeah.
The people came for good reason.
Thank you.
For this restaurant would not be out of place in New York, Paris .
.
or London.
Oh, hi! I hope you don't mind, but everyone's coming back to our place to continue the engagement celebrations.
Our place? You know what I mean.
Is that cool with you? Let the party roll on.
You wanna go to Hannah's for a while? Sure.
Yeah.
Hey, man, if you wanna go to Hannah's place, I can lock up.
Are you sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No worries.
Thanks.
(KEYS JANGLE) But while the restaurant may not be out of place in any of the great cities of the world, the town where I live is not a great city, so when something like the restaurant lands in the middle of it, everything changes - the nature of the town and the nature of the people.
Oh, my, my You get in my head You're in my head You're in my head Oh, my, my You get in my head You're in my head You're in my head All the time I spent with you Take me back to your place.
I was right behind you Oh, my, my You get in my head You're in my head You're in my head I dreamt a hundred times she Ran off with me Are you sure about this? It's the way, I'm telling you.
Innocence, for want of a better word, is what has been lost since the big bad wolf has arrived in our town.
Can I tell you something? Yeah.
What? I actually think you're way more like your uncle than your dad.
You could be him one day.
Oh, my, my You do the honours.
Oh, my, my Oh, my, my Oh, my, my You get in my head It's the only way, Shay.
You get rid of the painting and all your problems go up in smoke.
Oh, my, my You get in my head You're in my head You're in my head All the time I spent with you I loved my town the way it was before the wolf open his doors.
Something changed after that, and I reckon not for the better.
Kai Nui is not us, but that's just me, that's my opinion, and my opinion means little compared to the will of the people.
So, what do you think? Tell me I'm right, or tell me I'm the boy who cried wolf.
Once upon a time there was a man who gave it all He had nothing to his name But the wind and the rain at his feet Gloria, Tom.
George.
Stirrer! The world he knew the water and the water knew his heart Would have joined him in the desert If he'd let it It is sweet to the taste It's music to my soul It is wind to my ways The peace down on the still Once upon a man there was a man who killed my rage Broken and crushed like the vintage we poured in the barrels It is sweet to the taste It's music to my soul It is wind to my ways Peace down on the still .