Bizaardvark (2016) s02e15 Episode Script

1 - What's up, guys? I'm Paige.
- I'm Frankie.
BOTH: And we're Bizaardvark.
Things are about to get dangerous - ly creative! - VOICES: Yeah! We are gonna fill these blasters with different colored paints shoot 'em at the canvas and make art.
I'm never bored when I'm with you.
Let's get paintin'! All right! Okay.
- (SCREAMS) - (FRANKIE LAUGHS) Aah! You're getting it on mine! FRANKIE: Psychopath.
Ohh! My gosh! - I'm sorry! - Okay! - And now, we are going to be art critics.
- All right.
Let's start with this wonderful piece of expression.
All right, um, I call this "Storm Mother.
" (THUNDER CRASHES) - What do you how do you interpret it? - I feel like it represents the human mind, and how sometimes the human mind is crazy, and it looks like throw-up.
But sometimes it looks like a rainbow.
- Now we will critique Paige's art - All right.
uh, named? - "Untitled Landscape.
" - FRANKIE: Ooh.
Like an environmental thing, - like this is Earth.
- PAIGE: Mm-hmm.
- Oh, yes, that's what I meant to do.
- FRANKIE: And this is Mars.
Wow.
I have no idea how we're gonna clean this up.
Hey, Paige, do you think we could sell these? Paige? MALE VOICE: Bizaartvark.
BOTH: You could spend all day On a swing eating a baguette But why do boring things like that When there's the Internet? Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! - Let's go make some videos - Hey! You could watch Dirk doing crazy dares - Saying, "Here we go" - Here we go! He'll do anything you want Just don't try this at home Or watch Amelia teaching ya How to look your best Making over people is her never-ending quest You could watch Do you have constant foot odor? You could watch us make ridiculously funny videos Like the one with evil pop-up books That punch you in the nose Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! Let's go make some videos And I I missed it.
Principal Karen? Our teacher said you needed to see us immediately? What is it? Did we fail midterms? Do we have detention? No.
It's way more serious than that.
I used a face-morphing app to combine our three faces together! So, the parent-teacher conference you scheduled? Yeah, I wanted them to see it, too! Well, we we should get back to class, we were in the middle of learning the quadratic equation.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS) Or not learning it.
The only equation you need to know is Bizaardvark plus Karen equals awesome! Memorize it, there's a test on it tomorrow! Just kidding! Not kidding! I'm just kidding! (PHONE CAMERA CLICKS) Does it seem like Principal Karen is a little too into Bizaardvark lately? There my girls at! Guess who learned to play the keytar! (PLAYS FUNKY TUNE) Karen on the keys! Now I can be in all the vids! (PLAYS FUNKY TUNE) - Girl-ios! - (BOTH YELP) I came up with a couple ideas for some hilars Biz vids! Oh.
Okay, it's a couple hundred.
Do you love 'em? Do you hate 'em? Do you love 'em? We have to get her to back off.
It's too much! I got this.
Principal Karen, we know you're a big fan, but it feels like you've been really into Bizaardvark lately.
For sho'! All day, ery day! Biz for life! (LAUGHS) Well, I tried.
Look sweetheart Paige and I love your enthusiasm, but could you take it down a notch? Bizaardvark is a Vuuugle thing, and we're at school.
Say no more.
I get it.
- You do? - Totes! Skoo is skoo.
Coo? Did someone say "coo"? Bernie, please, this doesn't involve you.
Coo-coo, coo.
Coo, coo-coo.
Oh! You landed on my property.
You owe me seven million dollars.
Would you accept seven million hugs? I would not.
You can borrow some money from me.
Dirk, you've been out of the game for two hours.
We've been lettin' you play with potato chips.
Salt and "win-egar"! Nice! I was gonna go, "Sour cream and 'wonion'"! Idiots.
And you're both bankrupt.
I win! Update the board.
183 game night wins in a row.
'Cause I'm just better than you guys.
More like lucky.
Pffft! Yeah! Pffft! Pffft! Hey, we're good at that! It's not luck! You two just aren't smart enough to beat me.
(BOTH GASP) How dare you, madam! You guys could even play me two on one and I'd still win.
You can pick the game, too.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Oh, it's on.
Dirk? I think you know the game.
BOTH: Gummyland! CHILD'S VOICE: Gummyland! It's for babies! All right, Amelia.
It's time to see how smart these two guys are.
This game is an epic test of brains, strategy, and stamina.
The three "B's.
" Two of those were "S's.
" Hey, guys, thanks again for being a part of our latest comedy video, "I Love Bunnies.
" All right, roll the camera, let's rock! - (DEATH METAL GUITAR PLAYING) - I love the softness of their fur They're always hopping in a field Carrot break! - (DEATH METAL MUSIC CONTINUES) - (CHEERING, WHISTLING) KAREN: Mosh pit! Woo! Woo! (LAUGHS) Ahh! That was so metal, right? Metal! Bunnies! - Yeah! - (FEEDBACK) Principal Karen, what are you doing here? You said Bizaardvark was a Vuuugle thing, so I came to Vuuugle.
Skoo is skoo.
Vuug is vuug.
This is bad.
Also, turns out, Vuuugle is just a quick 90-minute drive from my house, so I can pop by literally anytime.
Anytime! Anytime! - (SHOUTS) Anytime! - (GASPS) Woo! What do we do? Principal Karen is out of control, and she's never gonna leave us alone.
I wish we could understand the mind of a superfan.
I can think of one person who can help us but you're not gonna like it.
You don't mean Hi! It's me! Belissa, Bizaardvark's biggest fan! (LOUD GIGGLING) I framed you! And now you're wanted criminals! (LOUD GIGGLING) Belissa? No way! I am not ready to see that girl again.
I'm dancing with a horse guy! I'm gonna be coming here all the time! Call Belissa.
Hey, guys! Dirk here with my boy Bernie, and today we are doing the All we're gonna do is eat some food, blow into each other's faces, and the other person has to guess which food we just ate.
So like we do every day? Yeah! But now the cameras are on! Here we blow! I think I'm gonna be great at this.
Like I think I'm gonna destroy you.
I think I have more knowledge of overall foods than you do.
- (EXHALES) - Oh, gosh! - Zucchini! - No! Blue cheese! Ohh! Okay, let's get rid of that.
All right, my turn now.
Close your eyes.
- Oh man.
- Okay.
(EXHALES) - Never mind.
- A strawberry.
No.
It's a banana.
(FOG HORN SOUNDS) Ooh! Sounds nasty.
(EXHALES) Ohh! What is that? - Salami.
(YELPS) - (BUZZER SOUND) Brussels sprouts! DIRK: Dreading this.
BERNIE: Oh! Oh, no.
Hurry up, Bernie, I'm getting nervous.
- (EXHALES) - Oh, sardines.
No, it's a tuna fish sandwich.
- (EXHALES) - Peppermint.
Oh-ho! Winner! (SLOWED) Yes! Wow.
Still can't believe Belissa's in military school.
How long has she been here? In military school we don't track time by the number of days.
We track it by the number of scars you have.
Who hurt you? - (BEEPS) - Remember, we need Belissa's help.
Just stay strong and brace for the crazy.
- Hey, Belissa! - Hi! Hello, Paige.
Hello, Frankie.
Please, have a seat.
Wow, Belissa.
There's something different about you.
Is it my hair? Or the fact that I no longer show obsessive tendencies since my parents sent me to military school for kidnapping you.
You know what? Both, actually.
Belissa, we came because we need your help to get rid of a new Bizaardvark superfan.
- Superfan? - Her name is Principal Karen.
She's out of control.
She crashed our video shoot.
She's always pitching ideas.
- She even learned to play the - The keytar? - How'd you know? - Textbook superfan.
It's only a matter of time until she tries to swab your cheeks while you sleep, so she could use the cells to grow her own Bizaardvark.
What? Belissa, did you No, no, no.
The technology never caught up with my idea.
Oh, thank goodness.
Anyway, um, wh what do we do about Principal Karen? The only way to get rid of a superfan is to make them realize they're hurting the one thing they love most.
Tell Principal Karen she's bad for Bizaardvark.
Perfect! Thanks, Belissa.
Come on, let's go before she does the cheek thing.
Wait! Before you go, may I have a hug? For old time's sake.
FRANKIE: Oh! Are you sure you don't wanna stay for dinner? We're having push-ups! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Your move boys! Okay, we rolled a two.
I agree.
The objective of the game is to get to the top of Gummyland Mountain.
So maybe we should move our piece two spaces closer to Gummyland Mountain.
Or we could steal her piece so she can't win.
You can't steal my piece.
We're gonna pass.
Fine.
My turn.
Ooh, a six.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my.
I'm gettin' real close to Gummyland Mountain now.
Okay, we're lookin' pretty dumb here.
How about you roll a six so we can get closer to Gummyland Mountain.
I'm on it.
- That's a five! - I know it's a five! Great.
Now we're at a fork in the road.
Obviously we should go left towards the Caramel Lagoon.
The Caramel Lagoon? Obviously, we should go right, through the Cotton Candy Forest! The Cotton Candy Forest? Do you have a death wish? Where do you think the Cotton Candy Crows live? Hey! You know the ecosystem of Gummyland is constantly changing! - Do not talk down to me! - (THINKS) Ugh, this is takin' forever.
Oh, no.
I've never been alone with my thoughts before.
What do I think about? I'm pretty.
(GASP) My thoughts can see my face! - (BUZZING SOUND) - Aaah! Oww! Ohh! Are you getting a tattoo? Yes, and it hurts.
The cloth is so cold, and Rafe is pressing it on so hard! Also, Mr.
Higgins, what did I tell you about shaving in here? So? What do you think? Toit, right? Um it's You're 35! Principal Karen, we love that you're a huge Bizaardvark fan, but, the truth is, you being so into Bizaardvark is kind of preventing us from being Bizaardvark, and that's bad for Bizaardvark.
Oh.
Thank you for telling me.
I'd never wanna do anything to harm Bizaardvark.
I'll go track down Rafe and get this removed.
Wow.
She took that really well.
I can't believe Belissa was right.
Hey, celebratory keytar solo? We got time.
(PLAYING KEYTAR) (BOTH LAUGHING) - (PHONE RINGING) - Hello? May I speak to Paige and Frankie? This is Paige and Frankie.
Oh, thank goodness you're both still alive.
- BOTH: What? - Nothing! Uhh, nothing.
It's okay, guys.
They're good! (PEOPLE CHEER) Wait, who is this? (ON PHONE) Sgt.
Brenner from East Point Military Academy.
Your friend Belissa escaped last night.
She used a hairpin to unlock the school gate.
Oh, no.
That's my hairpin.
She must've taken it when she hugged me! On an unrelated note, do you happen to know a Principal Karen? Yeah, why? We think Belissa might've broken out to find her.
Why do you think that? We have personnel trained in the art of rogue behavior.
Also, she wrote it all over the wall.
Anyway, have a magical day.
Oh, no.
Belissa must've snapped when she learned we had a new superfan! You don't think she'd actually try to find Principal Karen and hurt her, do you? (CALMLY) I don't know, Paige.
That was the first thing that popped into your mind, so I'm gonna go with (LOUDLY) yes! BRENNER: I'm gonna go with yes, too.
You never hung up.
I assumed it was permission to listen.
Again, have a magical day.
Hey, guys! Paige and Frankie here to do With Amelia as our model.
We are going to design Amelia an outfit using these household items.
I'm so excited! We're makin' clothes out of junk! (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) Ooh! So I don't know how to make a shirt.
I was thinking we'll make a top with this.
Here, let's do yeah.
Wrap me like a Christmas present.
What what about her arms? Where are they gonna go? - Uh, yeah, that's true, okay.
Like that? - All right.
- Woo! - The base of it is done.
- (CAMERA CLICKS) - How do you feel, Amelia? Um, I think it could be taken in a little bit.
Taken in? All right, let's add some fringe.
(CAMERA CLICKS) Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
I see where you're goin' with this.
Yup.
- I gotta do them with three with the blue.
- The blue? - Yeah.
- We should do it so that, we, like - we hide the - Look how good that is.
Okay, do it all with orange ones.
- (GASP) What if we - What? - do a little hat accessory? - Okay.
Would you wear this every day? I would totally wear this every day.
- And done.
- Voila! We've done it.
I think you look gorgeous.
- I feel gorgeous.
- Looks good.
Next up we have Amelia Duckworth wearing a Paige and Frankie creation - Ooh, she looks stunning.
- Oh yes, it falls apart on the runway.
- What an art.
Beauty.
Yes.
- Iconic.
AMELIA: We done did it.
(ALL LAUGHING) We need to get Principal Karen to a safe place where Belissa can't find her.
BOTH: Like our studio.
Oh.
Had the same idea.
Paige, it's not a competition.
Oh, uh, Principal Karen, uh, we need you to come with us.
Uh, Ashley, could you please tell these girls that I'm not speaking to them anymore because apparently, I'm bad for Bizaardvark.
Wait, seriously? You're not talking to us? You you said you were fine with it.
Well, I'm not.
And to think I was gonna swab the inside of your cheeks to grow my own Bizaardvark.
What's with the cheeks, man? BELISSA: Is this Sierra High? (LOUD GIGGLING) - BOTH: Belissa! - She's in the building.
We need to get Principal Karen to our studio.
Shouldn't we stop Belissa? I don't know, Paige.
She just muscled her way past 10 security guards at a military school, so I'm gonna go with, no! Okay, I'll get Principal Karen to come with us, but we're gonna talk about your tone later.
Well, Principal Karen, we were gonna invite you for a private tour of Bizaardvark's studio, but since you're mad at us, we'll just go.
- Private? - (BOTH GASP) As in just me and no one else? I might be able to forgive you.
Great.
(BELISSA, SINGSONGY) Karen! - What was that? - Um uh, just someone yelling your name.
You're very cool.
Can I tell you a secret? I've been working on it! What the? We couldn't figure out what move to make, so we built a replica of Gummyland, so Ding Dong here, could see that going left makes zero sense.
It's been a day and a half.
Zero sense? Zero sense? Who would choose Cotton Candy Forest over the Caramel Lake? - It's a lagoon! - You're a lagoon! (BOTH GRUNTING) (THINKING) Ugh, they even fight stupid.
(GRUNTS) I'm upset at this situation! I am also very upset at this situation! Ah! (THINKING) I can't let two best friends break up over a game.
- (BOTH GRUNT) - DIRK: Hey! (THINKING) So what if they think they're smarter than me for one day? I have to let them win.
(BOYS GRUNTING) (GASPS) I'm nice! - (GRUNTING CONTINUES) - (GASPS) Wow! You guys have a shortcut card to the top of Gummyland Mountain! She's right! We're gonna win! - Or - For the love of This is a trap! Quick! Steal her piece! You can't win without this! And I know you're not goin' in there! Looks like we won! (THINKING) All right, I am done playin' nice.
These dummies think I'm not goin' in there? I'm goin' in there! One.
I win again! That was hot! Love the stude! You guys are livin' like a boss up in here! I am so glad we made up.
That was the worst hour of my life.
BELISSA: Where's Bizaardvark's studio? (EMPHATICALLY) Where is it? Wait, did you double book this tour? Because I was promised totes excluse and that's not totes excluse.
No, no, it's totes excluse, it's totes, totes excluse.
(MUTTERS) Kill me.
BELISSA: I know Principal Karen's in there! (POUNDS ON DOOR) Let me at her! She knows my name? Okay, what's going on here? All right, listen our former superfan broke out of military school because she feels threatened by you, and now she wants to hurt you.
Hurt me? She sounds like a kid.
How could she hurt me? (ALL THREE SCREAM) BELISSA: Thanks for the axe, Dare Me Bro! DIRK: You can keep it, bro.
Belissa, you don't have to do this.
- (AXE HITS DOOR) - (PRINCIPAL KAREN SCREAMS) I just want to talk to her.
If I don't make it, give Vice Principal Milton this note.
"Do you like me? Yes, no, maybe.
" Come on, Karen.
(FRANKIE SCREAMS) Belissa, you don't need to do this! I do! I'm not leaving until I get my arms around her.
Take Frankie first, Paige is the funny one.
- What? - Frankie, it's not a competition, but thank you.
Step aside, Bizaardvark.
This is between me and Karen.
No, we are not gonna let you hurt her.
Hurt her? I'm not gonna hurt her.
I'm gonna hug her! (SQUEALS) When I heard there was a superfan who loves Bizaardvark as much as I do, I just had to meet her! Wait, you can't be as big of a fan of theirs as I am.
Oh, yeah? I'm trying to break up my parents so my mom can marry Frankie's dad, and we'll be stepsisters! Baller move! Wait, what? (GASP) Text me your digies.
I'm gonna call your rents and tell them to get you out of that yucky military school and enroll you at Sierra High! BOTH: Wait, what? BELISSA AND KAREN: This is our life now! (BOTH SPEAK SADLY) This is our life now.
(BELISSA AND KAREN GIGGLE)