Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s02e15 Episode Script

1 Thank you for letting me take my practice test here.
Of course.
It's the MCAT.
You need peace and quiet.
Plus, we get a little bonus time together.
Bob, I'm here to study.
That was it.
Bonus time's over.
Did you have fun? I did.
- (CHUCKLES) Can I please take my test now? - Sure thing.
Now, good luck, and break a tibia, which is a - Leg bone.
- There she is.
She's ready, folks.
- Bob, please.
- Right.
You do that, and I'll keep myself busy for the next Three and a half hours.
Really? I can't even sit through a movie that long.
DOTTIE: Bobby! Give me your credit card.
That shady online poker site won't accept mine.
No, I told you to stay in your room.
Vamoose.
I'm not going anywhere.
You can't just lock me away like some goofy Kennedy cousin.
- Here.
Go play your poker.
- DOTTIE: See? Now, was that so hard? Luck, be a lady tonight.
(VOCALIZES) God, she's so annoying.
How's it going so far? Sorry.
- (WHIRRING) - Now what? Oh, the dishwasher's been acting up.
You want me to stop it? I'll stop it.
Whoa! - That's new.
- Do you need my help? Nope.
Stay there, put your feet up.
Seriously, put your feet up.
The water's headed your way.
Somebody up there doesn't want you to be a doctor.
(CHUCKLES) I-I'm assuming you're giving me a look.
I'll go grab some candles.
DOTTIE: What the hell happened to the Wi-Fi? BOB: We got a situation out here.
DOTTIE: Oh, got one here, too.
You just lost 600 bucks.
- BOB: How? - DOTTIE: The game locked up.
BOB: You lost $600? DOTTIE: I had a good hand! BOB: You're why I drink, you know that? DOTTIE: Well, right back at you! Here we go.
There's more than one way to skin an MCAT.
Hello? Abishola? Abishola? Whoa! ("IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING) Name all the bones in the human hand.
Scaphoid.
- Mm-hmm.
- Triquetrum.
Lunate.
Um - "Um" is not a bone! - Ow! Kemi.
The pain will condition you to be better.
Ask anyone.
Horse trainers, Catholic nuns, my kitchen staff.
When you study with Bob, have him use a wooden spoon.
Bob will not hit me.
He doesn't have to.
The flinch will jog your memory.
I hope so.
This is the section I scored the lowest on.
"She looks too pretty, try to catch her.
" Thank you, Gloria.
It's a new smock.
But please do not distract us.
It's a mnemonic device to help you remember the bones.
"She looks too pretty, try to catch her.
" Scaphoid, lunate, triquetrum, pisiform, trapezium, trapezoid, capitate, hamate.
Americans have such cute phrases for everything.
"Click it or ticket.
" "Never shake a baby.
" How do you know this, Gloria? I made up all kind of tricks like that when I was studying for my MCAT.
You applied to medical school? Applied, got in and went.
Then why are you not a doctor? Long story.
Oh, I understand.
- Medical school can be difficult for some people.
- KEMI: Mm-hmm.
- What do you mean, "some people"? - ABISHOLA: Well, not everyone can withstand the workload Nigerians can.
(SCOFFS) Here we go with the "Nigerians are better than everybody else" crap.
Only when it comes to working hard and applying themselves.
You have no idea what you're talking about.
I'm talking about becoming a doctor, an accomplishment I will achieve and some people cannot.
(CHUCKLES) You are unbelievable.
Thank you.
Ow! Which bone did I hit? Tell me.
Tell me! Hey.
Rumor has it, you have a problematic dishwasher.
- How'd you know? - Abishola assumed that you could not repair it, so she asked me to come and help.
I hope this does not make you feel inadequate.
- No, why would it? - You see? I mean, you didn't have to come by.
I was just gonna call a guy.
Bob, I am the guy.
I have been called.
Oh, my.
Yeah, it took a while, but I got the situation under control.
With towels.
I didn't say I fixed it.
This is the pre-call-a-guy solution.
(SIGHS) Don't worry.
Uncle Tunde is here.
Dele, set out the tools.
- Sorry you got roped into this.
- It is a rope of guidance.
He will not grow up to be a man who, when something breaks, calls another man.
Again, really doesn't bother me.
You see? You really need to start watching Dr.
Quinn, Medicine Woman.
It will help you with your studies.
- Ah, that's a TV show.
- Yes, but it is very realistic.
It will teach you how to set a leg in a moving chuck wagon.
Uh, why is Gloria sitting over there? I don't know.
Our table is sticky but no more than usual.
Hello, Gloria.
Uh-uh.
This one is stickier.
Why would you sit at a stickier table? It is unlikely that was coincidental.
What's going on? Did we miss her birthday? No.
She's an Aquarius.
Even though right now she's acting like a Pisces.
(SNIFFS) Do we smell bad? You smell fine.
And I smell like baked beans, which people find comforting.
Well, clearly she does not want to sit with us.
Or one of us.
Wait here.
It is you.
The problem is you.
BOB: You guys want anything? Chips? Soda? I got everything but paper towels and clean plates.
I would like a soda.
- Are you thirsty? - Yes.
Good.
Use that.
No sodas until we are done.
Boy, you don't mess around, do you? No, Bob, I do not mess around.
I fix things.
Things that other people break.
Often by messing around.
All I did was put in dirty dishes and press "start.
" Did you rinse the dishes? Well, they say you don't have to.
Now I know you have to.
When you respect a machine, it returns the respect.
When the trust is broken So is the machine.
Good.
Repairing something connects us to its past and its future.
That is a lot of responsibility.
I understand how that could make you afraid.
- I'm not afraid.
- UNCLE TUNDE: Well, there are many other words for it.
Too busy, disengaged, lazy.
They all boil down to afraid.
Not the way I boil it.
It's just easier to call a guy.
- Why? - 'Cause it's a pain in the ass and a waste of my time.
And you might fail at it.
Yeah.
What do I know about fixing dishwashers? More than you think.
Come here.
Dele, give him the screwdriver.
What? I see it now.
I am not here to fix a dishwasher.
- I am here to fix you.
- (CAN OPENS) How's that soda? Very good.
- Just tell me why you are angry.
- (SIGHS) The fact that you don't even know is a big part of the why.
Is that a riddle? You know, you are being childish.
Ooh, first I don't work hard enough.
Now I'm childish.
I can always count on you to tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Is that a clue to the riddle? Here's the clue.
This morning you said I didn't become a doctor 'cause I was lazy.
(DOOR OPENS) (SINGSONGY): Who wants to replace an aorta?! Status? Richard Gavins.
Aortic valve replacement.
Normal, no allergies.
It was wrong of me to boast about my ambitions.
(SCOFFS) I should have anticipated that you might get jealous.
Jealous? Of what? The rich fiancé you found to pay for your medical school? - Excuse me? - You heard what I said.
- Bob has nothing to do with my decision.
- Really? I didn't see you applying last year.
Oh, congratulations on receiving the "Sleeping with the Sock Man" scholarship.
Are you two done? We are done.
Scalpel.
Careful.
It's sharp.
The bolt isn't moving.
It was designed to stay in place.
It is only doing its job.
Well, it's better at its job than I'm at mine.
The fight is not over until one side concedes.
Tunde, I could listen to you talk forever.
You're like the Nigerian James Earl Jones.
Thank you.
Dottie, (LIKE DARTH VADER): I am your uncle.
Look! Goosebumps! I wish I had the patience to fix things.
I'm just gonna say it.
I'm a quitter.
I'm a big, fat quitter.
Most people quit because they are overwhelmed.
Stop focusing on the task ahead.
Instead, look at what you have already accomplished.
Wow.
Such wise words while I'm feeling so vulnerable.
You'd be a great cult leader.
Thank you.
Tunde, I just got to say, I am learning more from you today than I have from any of my seven life coaches.
Life coach? Is that a real job? No.
Here.
Take this.
It'll help with your grip.
Tell Uncle you figured it out on your own.
Thanks.
Is he always like this? Yes.
I'm so glad you're in the family now.
(PHONE BUZZING) Oh.
- Abishola's calling.
- Is she? Or are you just going to stand in the garage again? It's real this time.
Hey.
How's it going? Are you going to help me pay for medical school? I mean, sure, if you need me to.
You think I need you to? - Do you? - No! Why would you say that? I didn't say anything! I will never need your money, Bob.
The only reason I agreed to marry you is because I love you.
Nothing else! Well, I love you, too! What is going on? I have to go.
He was struggling so much.
I had to help him.
I know it is hard to watch, but we must let Bob fail over and over again until he learns to be a man.
Sorry, honey.
It's still a little loud in here.
I'm gonna finish this in the garage.
Ah.
There you are.
Which days would you say you are most fun to talk to? - What? - I'm dividing up my lunch calendar between you and Gloria now that your friendship is dead.
It is not dead.
The only chance of saving it is if you are the bigger person and apologize.
So, which days do you want? Maybe Gloria is the one who should be the bigger person.
That is how it usually works.
You insult her, she forgives you.
You insult her again, she forgives you again.
But today you insulted her, and for some reason she decided to insult you back.
So interesting.
Anyway, let's look at the calendar.
I do not care when we have lunch together.
(CHUCKLES) Such a Monday attitude.
But we fight, and our friendship does not end.
Abishola, not everybody has my rare combination of grace and patience.
I know you know this, but you are extremely lucky to have me as a friend.
Auntie! Is this where the party is at? - Do I smell ogbono? - You do.
Then this is definitely where the party's at.
(LAUGHS) I hear Tunde has kept you very busy.
Yeah, a handyman would've come and gone in under an hour, - but where's the fun in that? - (LAUGHS) He has been doing all his own repairs for years.
Yeah, that came up.
It has been very hard on him to have to step back.
- What do you mean? - His arthritis is getting worse.
He didn't tell me that.
And you will not tell him I told you.
- Of course not.
- Mm.
You did a good thing today.
Ah, it was my pleasure.
So sweet of you to act so helpless.
I mean, any idiot can fix a dishwasher.
All right, now it's starting to bother me.
These are for you.
Insoles? For your shoes.
I notice you take them off under the desk because they hurt your feet.
(CHUCKLES) Thank you.
Plus, they have an odor-eater, so I will no longer notice when you take off your shoes.
Boy, you are terrible at apologizing.
I am.
Well, I didn't mean what I said about you and the sock man.
Hmm.
Don't worry.
Bob will pay for nothing.
The crippling debt will be mine alone.
I don't want that.
I want you to succeed.
I'm sorry you did not become a doctor.
I wanted to be a doctor since I was four years old.
My parents thought I was crazy.
Nobody in our family had gone to college, let alone medical school.
- Hmm.
- But I wasn't gonna let that stop me.
I graduated at the top of my class.
You couldn't tell me nothing.
(LAUGHS) Where did you go to medical school? Well, Meharry and Howard were really the only two places taking Black folks, but my family needed me close by.
So you stopped.
Nope.
I kicked so much butt in a post-graduate program, even the white schools couldn't ignore me anymore.
My parents started calling me Dr.
Gloria.
I was on my way.
In med school, I was the only Black woman in my class.
They just assumed I got in to fill a quota.
Didn't matter I was one of the smartest people there.
- Huh.
- And what happened? Well, I wanted to be a surgeon, but back then they didn't take too kindly to Black folks cutting on people.
Oh.
Oh, so then you stopped? Nope.
I pivoted.
Family medicine.
And I was starting a family of my own.
I was ready to be the breadwinner.
All I needed was a place to do my residency.
I'm guessing there weren't a lot of places that took Black residents.
Oh.
You're catching on.
But I tried again.
And again.
And in 1987, I matched.
Detroit Memorial Hospital.
That's wonderful.
It would have been.
But people were leaving Detroit in droves.
And before I could start, the hospital closed.
Had a family and needed a job.
I became a nurse.
I'm so sorry.
I cannot believe you did all that work for nothing.
No, it wasn't for nothing.
It cleared the path so it's easier for the folks coming behind.
Like I said, I want you to succeed.
I can't get the damn thing to start.
Without the forklift, we're screwed.
- Why didn't you call a guy? - I did.
You are the guy, Tunde.
I am the guy.
Uh, this is Goodwin and Kofo.
- E karo, sir.
- E karo, Uncle.
You're not gonna believe this, but they're almost as helpless as I was.
I noticed their bows were very lackluster.
Not a good sign.
Oh, so you can do it right.
Are you sure it's not gonna start? Positive.
We pulled the ignition wire.
What is that in your hand? A wire? No.
It is an opportunity.
Come.
Sit at my feet.
You heard him.
Well, uh, good luck, you two.
And remember, no sodas till you're done.
Scoot! Scoot!