Boston Legal s02e15 Episode Script
Smile
Previously on Boston legal You're dying and it's eating me up inside.
So? Are we okay? You're going off like a dog aren't you? What do you mean? When a dog knows it's gonna die he goes off into the woods by itself.
Denny got engaged.
Who is it this time? Beverly Bridge.
You think I'm screwing Denny for his money and power? It had occurred to me.
I'm prepared to give you $500,000 right now if you walk away and never have any contact with Denny Crane ever again.
Bev turned down the offer that I made her.
She was very offended.
This is going to get ugly.
Hello.
Not much going on around here.
Is there? No.
I suppose coming to a lawyer's office can't be much fun.
Actually, everyone seems friendly here.
Well, they're given an unlimited supply of donuts.
Here, Sweetheart.
Phyllis? Alan! Hello! Hi! Hello.
I see you have met Marissa.
I have now.
Could we talk in your office? Of course.
Would you mind watching her a little longer? Thanks.
If you get restless We'll be right down this hall.
I had a hard time trying to find you.
I called Cruthers, Abbott Oh, I was fired.
Embezzlement.
Then I tried Young, Frutt and Berultti Oh, yes.
That ended badly.
And here you are at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
For now.
And you? Still a legal secretary.
Although the law isn't as much fun as it was when I used to watch you bend it.
I need your help.
You used to say that I could come to you for anything.
I meant sexually.
This is for Marissa.
She's lovely.
But she seems to be having a bad day though.
Marissa can't smile.
She had nerve damage from a car accident.
And she had surgery to try to correct the problem, but it didn't work.
Alan, she's had a really tough time of it at the public school.
She's been teased mercilessly.
Here you go.
See that? Now watch this.
It's disappeared.
Ha, ha, ha.
What's up your ear? Ha, ha, ha.
Okay, kid.
Let's try it again.
I'm trying to get her into the Adams Academy for a fresh start.
The admissions director was so excited to meet her! Then he met her and she didn't smile.
And that was that.
And these private schools have become so competitive, they don't need to let anyone in who isn't "perfect".
When I was in school the closest I ever came to that appellation was to be called a "perfect" bastard.
I don't wanna sue them, because if I get known as a litigious parent I'm never gonna get Marissa into any school.
But I do know that you can be, well a perfect bastard.
Denise, I understand you're going through some difficulties in your personal life.
Uhm, yeah, It's hard, but I'll get through it.
From what I know about you, when things get tough you prefer to bury yourself in your work.
Allow me to provide you with a shovel.
This is Teressa Warner and her daughter Amelia.
Denise is going to be working with us on the case.
Amelia is eighteen.
She was assaulted and raped two months ago and taken to the nearest hospital.
St.
Mary's.
Once we knew she was stable, my first thought was the morning-after pill.
Only the treating physician at the hospital told us that type of treatment was not available at St.
Mary's.
He refused to give it to my daughter.
But the Legislature recently passed a law requiring hospitals to provide emergency contraception for rape victims.
They did.
But Massachusetts law also contains a conscience clause.
Catholic hospitals don't have to administer any treatments that conflicts with their religious principles, emergency contraception included.
As soon as she was discharged we went to our family doctor but he told us it was too late to prescribe it.
It needs to be administered as soon as possible, but no later than seventy-two hours after the I know this is difficult for both of you.
Amelia, you've been through so much trauma already.
So.
We'll begin by pursuing a settlement with the hospital.
No! No.
I want the public to know.
I was raped.
And now I'm pregnant because the doctor wouldn't give me the contraceptive to prevent it.
I want a trial.
Where is he? Denny, are you sure we can count on him? Brad's the best.
I just made him partner.
Well, I want reassurance.
He served in the Gulf War.
The one that turned out okay.
He was top of his class at West Point and Harvard Law School.
I'd put my own life in his hands.
Once we remove the ventilator, it'll be a matter of minutes.
You may hear a slight rattle in the chest.
This is normal.
The suffering should be minimal.
Do it.
Step away from the ventilator! Move away.
I have a court order.
Barry! He's alive! He's alive! So Marissa.
Before I meet with the board at Adams about reconsidering their decision.
I thought it might be a good idea for us to get together and have a whole bunch of sugar and talk about school.
Okay.
What's your favorite part of the day? I like all my classes.
But, I guess art.
Drawing and painting and stuff.
When I was in fourth grade I remember having to draw a horse.
It gave me a very rough time.
I'm studying Magritte.
And what do you like about Magritte? The way things are put together.
It's so unlikely.
They're beautiful like other paintings but they make you think, you wonder why things are the way they are.
He has this one, a picture of a pipe, and under it says, "This is not a pipe".
It says it in French, I translated it for you.
"Ceci n'est pas une pipe".
That's it! One of my favorites as well.
It gave me an idea for one.
Marissa, this is wonderful.
Thank you.
Everyone is always telling girls to smile.
Never say to guys.
I think smiling is overrated.
As you can see.
I will not allow you to destroy my Barry! The cat is dead.
The animal is a vegetable.
Guys Nature has spoken.
When it's your time, it's your time.
Says the man with the pacemaker and the prosthetic balls.
That's different.
Denny? I'm a partner.
It's a cat.
You're exactly right, Brad.
I wouldn't trust an associate with a case this important.
This is Bev's cat.
That guy in there? Bev's fourth husband.
Mattress Majesty.
Worth millions.
Troubling thing about America.
Anybody can grow up and be rich.
Denny, still.
It's a cat.
Barry Manilow is not just a cat.
What? Barry Manilow.
Cat's full name.
Even better.
Barry Manilow is Bev's cat.
And if it matters to Bev, then I, Denny Crane, have to pretend that it matters to me.
But, Denny Bev will be happy, which make me happy, which make you happy.
So really, Brad, you're doing this to make you happy.
Two months ago I was walking to my car and I was almost there, I was already getting out my keys, when this man I don't know where he he grabbed me, and Take your time.
After he was done, he just kept hitting me and hitting me and hitting me And then I woke up in the hospital.
So you didn't choose St.
Mary's specifically? No, I wasn't even conscious.
They just took me to the nearest emergency room.
At any time while you were being treated, did nurses or physicians bring up the possibility of becoming pregnant from the attack? My mom and I asked about it, and they said the chances were small.
but I wanted to take the morning-after pill anyway just in case and Dr.
Tusten said that was not an available at a Catholic-affiliated hospital.
How long were you at St.
Mary's? Three days.
And after you were discharged? We went to our family doctor to try to get the prescription there.
That's when they told us that it has to be taken within seventy-two hours.
It was too late.
I was already pregnant.
How do you plan to handle the pregnancy? I have always been morally opposed to abortion, so of course I never imagined this.
I don't I don't know.
When you were told that emergency contraception was unavailable, did you ask for a referral to get the medication elsewhere? No, because Did you or your mother bring the concern up again during your time at the hospital? Well, they had made it pretty clear I'm sorry, Amelia.
Yes or no? No.
Thank you.
Nothing further.
It was on Denny's orders.
It's Bev's cat.
That woman's influence on this firm is increasing daily.
Well at least the case won't go to court.
They've agreed to arbitration, once the arbitrator sees the evidence he'll rule to pull the plug and that'll be that.
You'd better hope he doesn't.
Come again? Brad, since your attempt to bribe Denny's fiance to leave him failed so miserably we must now stay on her good side lest she tell Denny.
You have to win the case quickly and quietly.
It's like Friggin Shakespear around here.
Dr.
Kumi, as an OB-Gyn, could you tell us how and why emergency contraception is used? It's a higher dosage of the same hormones that are used in birth control pills.
It's administered as a last minute contraceptive to prevent pregnancy.
And in your expert opinion, how is it related to the abortion pill? It's not.
RU-486, also called the "abortion pill", terminates an existing pregnancy.
Emergency contraception, like all methods of contraception, keeps a pregnancy from occurring.
And if a fertilized egg has successfully been implanted meaning a pregnancy has begun? Taking the morning-after pill has no effect.
It can only prevent a pregnancy, it cannot terminate one.
So there is no correlation between the morning-after pill and abortion.
There's a significant inverse correlation.
Studies show emergency contraception, if it's made readily available, could prevent as many as seven hundred thousand abortions a year.
Your Honor, this whole matter is about Spite.
His! Hers! Objection.
People, let's put the vitriol aside not to mention the complete ludicrousness of this case.
And look at the facts.
Ms.
Bridge, you've owned this cat for eleven years? That is correct.
Your Honor.
Nevertheless, the court awarded Mr.
Bridge joint custody of Barry.
The cat's name is Barry Manilow? It is.
Your Honor.
My client has developed a strong bond with Barry.
Strong bond.
Strong bond? Give me a break.
Your Honor, let the record reflect that since the divorce Mr.
Bridge has been late in returning the cat, fed him dry food only, did not have adequate litter box hygiene.
And was often seen calling the cat stupid in public.
That's terrible.
It's a cat.
I don't think I hurt his feelings.
As directed by the joint custody agreement, Mr.
Bridge was required to make all veterinary payments.
And Ms.
Bridge, acting out of malice, took advantage of that by subjecting the cat to the most expensive treatments possible.
Objection.
He's disparaging my client.
Three thousand dollars a month? Could this possibly be correct? Yeah, it is.
Your Honor.
We have an affidavit from the vet.
Barry is ninety-nine, point nine percent dead.
Which makes him point one percent alive.
The glass is half full, Your Honor.
Barry's completely alive to me.
How could you tell under your drunken haze? Hey! Hey.
Enough! Let I remind you that I can still pose sanctions in arbitration.
This is a property matter only.
Keep the emotions out.
We shall reconvene tomorrow and I'll try not to remind myself that this is a day I'll never get back.
Excuse me, could you direct me to the conference room please? Sure.
It's down the hall to the left.
Thank you.
Hello everyone.
Hello! You must be the chairman, Lester Tremont? I am.
I'm Alan Shore.
Thank you for seeing me.
I won't take up much of your time.
As you know I'm here regarding Marissa Deaver.
Yes, we have her application in front of us.
Ah!.
Delightful.
We can all take pleasure in it together.
As you see she's obviously an exceptional student.
She's in the top ten percentile on her standardized tests, her grades have never dipped below an A-minus, she persues and excels in broad range of extracurricular activities and yet she wasn't admitted into your fine instistution.
We all make mistakes.
And perhaps it was partially our fault.
Her mother tells me she had a dreadful interview which sometimes happens especially considering the extenuating circumstances in this case.
My thought to rectify the situation is this, you re-interview Marissa, review her remarkable work and reconsider putting her on your roster at Adams Academy and let's go beat our arch rivals, whoever they are.
Sounds like quite a plan.
Unfortunately we have sent out all our admissions letters, the class is full and there's an extensive wait list.
Ah.
And while we would love to accomondate Marissa, it would be unfair to all the other applicants.
Yes it would be.
I was hoping we wouldn't tell them.
Have you seen any of Marissa's art work? Here's a self-portrait which certainly exhibits a depth of insight that is highly unusual for a child of nine.
As you know, Marissa is a girl who cannot smile.
Yes, that was brought to our attention, and our hearts go out to her.
Tell you what.
Let's make a deal.
Keep your hearts, and let the girl into the school.
Mr.
Shore.
The Adams Academy is a highly demanding, highly competitive institution.
We turn down over ninety percent of our applicants.
And in a transfer case like this, it's ninety-eight percent.
Now for whatever reasons, Marrissa simply did not meet our standards.
Perhaps she just need a year of maturing Maturing? She's ready for retirement.
Well, she is free to reapply to our academy next year.
She cannot wait another year.
Thank you for coming in, Mr.
Shore.
I take it we've stopped being nice.
I know I have.
Mr.
Tremont, Marissa has a disability, and you and your institution are discriminating against her.
Mr.
Shore, that is not true.
But even if it were true as a private school we have every right to discriminate against disabled students.
As a private school we aren't bound by the I.
D.
E.
A.
and neither parents nor students have any recourse to challenge denial of service.
Oh my God.
You're a lawyer.
Yes.
Several of us are.
Let me tell you two things about myself.
I too am a lawyer.
I can be painfully vindictive and I do not play fair.
That's three things.
See? Not playing fair already.
I'm just getting started.
Mr.
Shore, our school has been sued several times.
Never successfully.
You know what they say, Lester.
You never forget your first time.
Dr.
Tusten, Ms.
Bauer is saying that there's no moral debate at play here.
In the Catholic religion, human life begins when the egg is fertilized not implanted.
At that stage a life is in motion.
Regardless of how it happened, my moral and religious beliefs will not allow me to interfere and the conscience clause ensures that I don't have to.
Of course you also follow this.
The U.
S.
Department of Justice's protocol for treating sexual assault victims, is that right? It's a very effective tool for handling the delicate nature of these cases.
In the one hundred and thirty pages of this document does it ever recommend using the morning-after pill? No.
But it does address several important issues regarding the care of a sexual assault victim, including collecting a biological sample to assist in locating and prosecuting the attacker.
And were you successful in obtaining that sample? We were.
The rapist was identified, convicted and is awaiting sentencing.
Nothing further.
Dr.
Tusten, in extreme circumstances like sexual assault, many Catholic hospitals will make an exception to the provide rape victims with emergency contraception.
Catholic hospitals are free to interpret sections of the Ethical and Religious Directives liberally or conservatively.
We at St.
Mary's take a very strict application of Catholic teachings.
Tell me, Dr.
Tusten, do you have a set schedule at the ER? Nine to five, Monday to Friday? Shifts are usually much longer than that.
We're often on call for twenty-four hours at a time.
Ah! So you often work weekends? Of course.
But that would put you squarely on the job during the Sabbath.
And.
.
Exodus 35:2 states that he who works on the Sabbath should be put to death.
That's a rather fundamentalist interpretation.
Moving on.
Mark 16:18 states that a believer can drink any deadly thing and not be harmed.
As a physician, are you ready to say that your Catholic patients can take a swig of arsenic and suffer no adverse effects? That's not intended to be interpreted literally.
But, you interpret some things literally.
Are you saying that you just follow the parts of the Bible that make sense to you? God was fairly straightforward with, "Thou shalt not kill".
They said, "If you pour it, people come".
Not tonight, Denny.
I'm angry.
Did you know private schools can openly discriminate because of religion, gender, even disability? Of course they can.
They're private.
That's the way it oughta to be.
That's the way it once was with clubs.
Before the feminists, lesbian cabal ruined this country.
Trying to get a young girl into the Adams Academy.
The one Miss Gloomy Gerta there? She's not gloomy.
Oh, pulled a coin out of her ear, she didn't even laugh.
There's something wrong with that girl.
That is the acid test.
You're a little Gloomy Gerta yourself, aren't you? I don't know how I'm gonna get her in.
The entire legal system sits squarely on the other side.
You are missing the whole point.
Which is? The concept of private.
Private doesn't operate by the law.
Private operates above the law.
Like, like Greek gods.
Hovering above the earth on their own private mountain.
Now Greek gods broke the rules and the laws, but the one thing they respect was power and influence.
And Alan, if all else fails, and you think you've lost pretend you've won! Works for our president.
Maybe it just isn't funny.
I hate cats.
I beg your pardon? Can't stand 'em.
Barry belonged to my third husband.
When he tried to pick me up at a bar, his toupee was slipping.
He told me he was a breast inspector.
And you married him? You can see why I preferred the cat.
Husbands come and go.
And when they go their friends go with them and you end up alone.
Except for Barry.
I apologize for what can be construed as an inappropriate gesture last week.
As you should.
And I know you think I'm blackmailing you because you tried to bribe me, and I am, but putting all this aside for now, I really need you to win this.
Please.
You want to see me, Mr.
Crane? Yeah.
Yeah.
Garrett, ah.
Good morning.
Here, come on.
Funny? How did you do that? You and me lunch tomorrow I'll show you how.
Let's keep in mind exactly who's at fault for Amelia Warner's trauma.
Her rapist.
And yet, here we are attacking the doctor that treated Amelia, whoes efforts are responsible for the apprehension and imprisonment of that rapist.
Because that doctor acted within his rights, did not administer medication that conflicted with his religious beliefs, beliefs that he promised to uphold when he was hired at St.
Mary's.
But forget religion.
Let's look at the law.
In a one hundred and thirty pages of protocol on how to treat sexual assault victims the Unites States Department of Justice never even mentions the use of emergency contraception.
It's simply not the standard of care.
There is in fact no law in place in the state of Massachusetts that explicitly requires Catholic hospitals to dispense or provide information for emergency contraception under any circumstances.
And we simply can't pretend that there is on the basis of sentiment or sympathy.
One of our many rights in this country is what is called "informed consent".
Every patient has the right to decide what happens to his or her body.
And to make that decision a patient needs to rely on her doctor to disclose all available options.
Do you want chemo therapy or surgery for a brain tumor? Do you want to amputate below the knee and hope for the best and risk death from gangrene? Do you want to prevent pregnancy or have your rapist's baby? Amelia Warner didn't get to choose.
She was deprived of a crucial medically relevant option because her doctor didn't approve of it.
She didn't choose to receive health care restricted by religious doctrine.
She was taken to the ER unconscious.
She relied on her doctor at St.
Mary's to provide her with proper care or refer her elsewhere and he failed her.
Twenty-five thousand women will become pregnant from rapes this year.
If all of those women took this emergency contraception, twenty-two thousand of those pregnancies could be avoided.
Doctors provide a crucial public benefit to a diverse society and we cannot condone it when they impose their own religion on patients whom they are professionally obligated to serve.
Especially patients in their most vulnerable state.
A teenage for example, brought in to the emergency room after a brutal rape.
A teenager who is now left to choose between violating her own moral principals in terminating the pregnancy or postponing college to deliver this child.
A child conceived against her will, a direct result of the most traumatic ordeal she has ever endured.
Mr Tremont! Mr Shore! I believe our business is done in regards to Ms Deaver.
Oh, absolutely.
Water under the bridge.
I'm here in an entirely unrelated matter.
Yes.
What is it, Cindy? There's a news crew from ABC here? What? That happens to be the unrelated matter.
What's going on? Well.
The thing is it's all my fault.
I was so sure I was going to be victorious and persuade you to admit Marissa into you school.
Total hubris on my part, I went and called Darcy DeVictor, she does the human interest pieces over at the local ABC affiliate.
We were briefly an item.
Don't let her perky on-air demeanor fool you she's quite deviant in the bedroom.
Anyway.
I figured this was exactly the kind of story that Darcy likes and this is the part that gets me excited sink her teeth into.
You know the little artist that can't smile and the supportive school that loves her.
I always love showing off in front of an exgirlfriend, but wouldn't you know it, I got excited and jumped the gun.
So! I'll let you get back to work.
I'm gonna go out and let her know that I was wrong and you were right and the school prevailed in its determination to discriminate against this little girl and her disability.
You wouldn't happen to have any of Marissa's drawings still? Darcy was dying to show them on air.
Hey! This may be a way to salvage a story actually.
You know? The little girl who can't smile, her dream shattered by the exclusionary will of the inbred elite.
Something like that! Oh! Wait! I got something.
Darcy? Lestor! Doggy massage.
Pet Prozac.
Kitty yoga.
Bark-Mitzvahs.
Pet plastic surgery? And now life support? What is wrong with us? Have we lost all perspective? There are now as many starving people in this world as there were people in this world a generation ago.
And yet every year in this country we spend thirty billion dollars on our pets.
Your Honor, you had this right from the beginning.
This is ludicrous.
This is a property issue just as you noted.
And as hard as it is to let Barry Manilow go, it's time to stop prolonging the inevitable.
Your Honor? I have to admit when I first picked this case I thought it was just as silly as you do.
I mean this couple broke up, they managed to divvy up the car and TV, why couldn't they figure out what to do with the cat? Because.
Unlike our cars and our TV's our pets transcend our property.
Property that lives and breaths.
Property that loves us back unconditionally in an increasingly harsh and isolating world.
This is what Barry Manilow is, and always has been to Beverly Bridge! Now, Barry Manilow didn't care how much makeup Beverly wore or whether her outfits were just a little bit too tight for someone her age.
He never ostracized her when she got divorced or demanded she get a job.
Never asked how she spent her money.
Never came home smelling like another woman.
And he never made Beverly his trophy! Barry Manilow was simply there for Beverly.
In fact Barry Manilow treated Beverly better than most of her husbands did.
Now he may be very ill now, but there's a slight chance that he can recover.
We need to hold on to that chance.
Who among us here has the power to say that the spark of a soul is any less significant because it resides in the body of a pet? I do.
It's a cat.
And the costs of keeping this cat on a ventilator indefinitely are exorbitant.
Especially coupled with the pain this cat must be in and its remote chance of recovery.
Ms Bridge, I am sorry for your loss, but I must hereby order that Barry Manilow's ventilator be shut off.
That damn cat isn't gonna die.
Fine.
You can have him.
Has the jury reached its verdict? We have, Your Honor.
What say you? We the jury find in favor of the plaintiff and hereby award compensatory damages in the amount of one hundred thousand dollars.
Additionally, we award punitive damages in the amount of two point six million dollars.
The court thanks the jury for its service.
We are adjourned.
Thank you.
Congratulations.
Thank you so much.
Amelia, you are a courageous human being.
I don't feel like it, but thank you.
You look good in blue, Marissa.
I drew this for you.
Oh my goodness! It looks like they're going to have a quite a day.
You know, Marissa, not smiling has its benefits.
You don't give your thoughts away so easily It's a great advantage in card playing That's funny.
But I'd rather fit in.
Have you ever heard of a Greek philosopher named Epictetus? No.
It was a funny man with a certain flare for life.
Epictetus compared people who "fit in" to the white threads of a toga.
Indistinguishable.
He wanted to be the purple thread.
"That small part which is bright," "and makes all the rest appear graceful and beautiful".
Why then " he asked, "do you tell me to make myself like the many?" "And if I do, how shall I still be purple?" Sometimes being purple is kind of a pain.
Yes.
Bev.
Hello, Brad.
Barry's feeling better? I mean, he doesn't walk or move or anything, but he's breathing on his own.
I didn't exactly win the case, but "All's well, that end's well.
" So we're square.
I'll tell you when we're square, Brad.
Damn it.
So? I just spoke with her mother.
She's having an abortion.
While it's still legal.
Girl who said she would never even consider it.
Well.
What's the alternative? Having custody battles with your rapist? Sorry.
That was really tasteless.
It's all tasteless.
I mean the more science comes up with alternatives to the misery of abortion the louder the opposition.
Course it's about power.
It's always been about power.
These guys have any friends? Not for long.
Alan.
I've been thinking about something.
What's that? I want you to kill me.
The scotch and cigars and nightly consumption or red meat have that well in hand.
No, no, no.
Seriously.
I don't fear death.
I never have.
But I am afraid of being hooked up to a machine.
All those tubes, brain, mush.
Would you like to live like that? No.
If it came to that, my friend, I would pull your plug.
Pull a plug? What kind of death is that? I want you to shoot me.
Shoot you? Denny Crane is not gonna be turned off like a hair dryer.
Live by the gun, die by the gun.
I'm not gonna shoot you.
Why not? I'd shoot you! Denny, you've been a lawyer in this town for forty years.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who'd willing shoot you.
Well, I don't wanna be shot by a stranger.
I wanna be shot by someone who, who cares for me.
The answer is, "No".
Bah! You b Democrate! Protesting wars, banning guns! If you Nancy's had your way nobody would ever shoot anybody.
And then where would we be? Where would we be?
So? Are we okay? You're going off like a dog aren't you? What do you mean? When a dog knows it's gonna die he goes off into the woods by itself.
Denny got engaged.
Who is it this time? Beverly Bridge.
You think I'm screwing Denny for his money and power? It had occurred to me.
I'm prepared to give you $500,000 right now if you walk away and never have any contact with Denny Crane ever again.
Bev turned down the offer that I made her.
She was very offended.
This is going to get ugly.
Hello.
Not much going on around here.
Is there? No.
I suppose coming to a lawyer's office can't be much fun.
Actually, everyone seems friendly here.
Well, they're given an unlimited supply of donuts.
Here, Sweetheart.
Phyllis? Alan! Hello! Hi! Hello.
I see you have met Marissa.
I have now.
Could we talk in your office? Of course.
Would you mind watching her a little longer? Thanks.
If you get restless We'll be right down this hall.
I had a hard time trying to find you.
I called Cruthers, Abbott Oh, I was fired.
Embezzlement.
Then I tried Young, Frutt and Berultti Oh, yes.
That ended badly.
And here you are at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.
For now.
And you? Still a legal secretary.
Although the law isn't as much fun as it was when I used to watch you bend it.
I need your help.
You used to say that I could come to you for anything.
I meant sexually.
This is for Marissa.
She's lovely.
But she seems to be having a bad day though.
Marissa can't smile.
She had nerve damage from a car accident.
And she had surgery to try to correct the problem, but it didn't work.
Alan, she's had a really tough time of it at the public school.
She's been teased mercilessly.
Here you go.
See that? Now watch this.
It's disappeared.
Ha, ha, ha.
What's up your ear? Ha, ha, ha.
Okay, kid.
Let's try it again.
I'm trying to get her into the Adams Academy for a fresh start.
The admissions director was so excited to meet her! Then he met her and she didn't smile.
And that was that.
And these private schools have become so competitive, they don't need to let anyone in who isn't "perfect".
When I was in school the closest I ever came to that appellation was to be called a "perfect" bastard.
I don't wanna sue them, because if I get known as a litigious parent I'm never gonna get Marissa into any school.
But I do know that you can be, well a perfect bastard.
Denise, I understand you're going through some difficulties in your personal life.
Uhm, yeah, It's hard, but I'll get through it.
From what I know about you, when things get tough you prefer to bury yourself in your work.
Allow me to provide you with a shovel.
This is Teressa Warner and her daughter Amelia.
Denise is going to be working with us on the case.
Amelia is eighteen.
She was assaulted and raped two months ago and taken to the nearest hospital.
St.
Mary's.
Once we knew she was stable, my first thought was the morning-after pill.
Only the treating physician at the hospital told us that type of treatment was not available at St.
Mary's.
He refused to give it to my daughter.
But the Legislature recently passed a law requiring hospitals to provide emergency contraception for rape victims.
They did.
But Massachusetts law also contains a conscience clause.
Catholic hospitals don't have to administer any treatments that conflicts with their religious principles, emergency contraception included.
As soon as she was discharged we went to our family doctor but he told us it was too late to prescribe it.
It needs to be administered as soon as possible, but no later than seventy-two hours after the I know this is difficult for both of you.
Amelia, you've been through so much trauma already.
So.
We'll begin by pursuing a settlement with the hospital.
No! No.
I want the public to know.
I was raped.
And now I'm pregnant because the doctor wouldn't give me the contraceptive to prevent it.
I want a trial.
Where is he? Denny, are you sure we can count on him? Brad's the best.
I just made him partner.
Well, I want reassurance.
He served in the Gulf War.
The one that turned out okay.
He was top of his class at West Point and Harvard Law School.
I'd put my own life in his hands.
Once we remove the ventilator, it'll be a matter of minutes.
You may hear a slight rattle in the chest.
This is normal.
The suffering should be minimal.
Do it.
Step away from the ventilator! Move away.
I have a court order.
Barry! He's alive! He's alive! So Marissa.
Before I meet with the board at Adams about reconsidering their decision.
I thought it might be a good idea for us to get together and have a whole bunch of sugar and talk about school.
Okay.
What's your favorite part of the day? I like all my classes.
But, I guess art.
Drawing and painting and stuff.
When I was in fourth grade I remember having to draw a horse.
It gave me a very rough time.
I'm studying Magritte.
And what do you like about Magritte? The way things are put together.
It's so unlikely.
They're beautiful like other paintings but they make you think, you wonder why things are the way they are.
He has this one, a picture of a pipe, and under it says, "This is not a pipe".
It says it in French, I translated it for you.
"Ceci n'est pas une pipe".
That's it! One of my favorites as well.
It gave me an idea for one.
Marissa, this is wonderful.
Thank you.
Everyone is always telling girls to smile.
Never say to guys.
I think smiling is overrated.
As you can see.
I will not allow you to destroy my Barry! The cat is dead.
The animal is a vegetable.
Guys Nature has spoken.
When it's your time, it's your time.
Says the man with the pacemaker and the prosthetic balls.
That's different.
Denny? I'm a partner.
It's a cat.
You're exactly right, Brad.
I wouldn't trust an associate with a case this important.
This is Bev's cat.
That guy in there? Bev's fourth husband.
Mattress Majesty.
Worth millions.
Troubling thing about America.
Anybody can grow up and be rich.
Denny, still.
It's a cat.
Barry Manilow is not just a cat.
What? Barry Manilow.
Cat's full name.
Even better.
Barry Manilow is Bev's cat.
And if it matters to Bev, then I, Denny Crane, have to pretend that it matters to me.
But, Denny Bev will be happy, which make me happy, which make you happy.
So really, Brad, you're doing this to make you happy.
Two months ago I was walking to my car and I was almost there, I was already getting out my keys, when this man I don't know where he he grabbed me, and Take your time.
After he was done, he just kept hitting me and hitting me and hitting me And then I woke up in the hospital.
So you didn't choose St.
Mary's specifically? No, I wasn't even conscious.
They just took me to the nearest emergency room.
At any time while you were being treated, did nurses or physicians bring up the possibility of becoming pregnant from the attack? My mom and I asked about it, and they said the chances were small.
but I wanted to take the morning-after pill anyway just in case and Dr.
Tusten said that was not an available at a Catholic-affiliated hospital.
How long were you at St.
Mary's? Three days.
And after you were discharged? We went to our family doctor to try to get the prescription there.
That's when they told us that it has to be taken within seventy-two hours.
It was too late.
I was already pregnant.
How do you plan to handle the pregnancy? I have always been morally opposed to abortion, so of course I never imagined this.
I don't I don't know.
When you were told that emergency contraception was unavailable, did you ask for a referral to get the medication elsewhere? No, because Did you or your mother bring the concern up again during your time at the hospital? Well, they had made it pretty clear I'm sorry, Amelia.
Yes or no? No.
Thank you.
Nothing further.
It was on Denny's orders.
It's Bev's cat.
That woman's influence on this firm is increasing daily.
Well at least the case won't go to court.
They've agreed to arbitration, once the arbitrator sees the evidence he'll rule to pull the plug and that'll be that.
You'd better hope he doesn't.
Come again? Brad, since your attempt to bribe Denny's fiance to leave him failed so miserably we must now stay on her good side lest she tell Denny.
You have to win the case quickly and quietly.
It's like Friggin Shakespear around here.
Dr.
Kumi, as an OB-Gyn, could you tell us how and why emergency contraception is used? It's a higher dosage of the same hormones that are used in birth control pills.
It's administered as a last minute contraceptive to prevent pregnancy.
And in your expert opinion, how is it related to the abortion pill? It's not.
RU-486, also called the "abortion pill", terminates an existing pregnancy.
Emergency contraception, like all methods of contraception, keeps a pregnancy from occurring.
And if a fertilized egg has successfully been implanted meaning a pregnancy has begun? Taking the morning-after pill has no effect.
It can only prevent a pregnancy, it cannot terminate one.
So there is no correlation between the morning-after pill and abortion.
There's a significant inverse correlation.
Studies show emergency contraception, if it's made readily available, could prevent as many as seven hundred thousand abortions a year.
Your Honor, this whole matter is about Spite.
His! Hers! Objection.
People, let's put the vitriol aside not to mention the complete ludicrousness of this case.
And look at the facts.
Ms.
Bridge, you've owned this cat for eleven years? That is correct.
Your Honor.
Nevertheless, the court awarded Mr.
Bridge joint custody of Barry.
The cat's name is Barry Manilow? It is.
Your Honor.
My client has developed a strong bond with Barry.
Strong bond.
Strong bond? Give me a break.
Your Honor, let the record reflect that since the divorce Mr.
Bridge has been late in returning the cat, fed him dry food only, did not have adequate litter box hygiene.
And was often seen calling the cat stupid in public.
That's terrible.
It's a cat.
I don't think I hurt his feelings.
As directed by the joint custody agreement, Mr.
Bridge was required to make all veterinary payments.
And Ms.
Bridge, acting out of malice, took advantage of that by subjecting the cat to the most expensive treatments possible.
Objection.
He's disparaging my client.
Three thousand dollars a month? Could this possibly be correct? Yeah, it is.
Your Honor.
We have an affidavit from the vet.
Barry is ninety-nine, point nine percent dead.
Which makes him point one percent alive.
The glass is half full, Your Honor.
Barry's completely alive to me.
How could you tell under your drunken haze? Hey! Hey.
Enough! Let I remind you that I can still pose sanctions in arbitration.
This is a property matter only.
Keep the emotions out.
We shall reconvene tomorrow and I'll try not to remind myself that this is a day I'll never get back.
Excuse me, could you direct me to the conference room please? Sure.
It's down the hall to the left.
Thank you.
Hello everyone.
Hello! You must be the chairman, Lester Tremont? I am.
I'm Alan Shore.
Thank you for seeing me.
I won't take up much of your time.
As you know I'm here regarding Marissa Deaver.
Yes, we have her application in front of us.
Ah!.
Delightful.
We can all take pleasure in it together.
As you see she's obviously an exceptional student.
She's in the top ten percentile on her standardized tests, her grades have never dipped below an A-minus, she persues and excels in broad range of extracurricular activities and yet she wasn't admitted into your fine instistution.
We all make mistakes.
And perhaps it was partially our fault.
Her mother tells me she had a dreadful interview which sometimes happens especially considering the extenuating circumstances in this case.
My thought to rectify the situation is this, you re-interview Marissa, review her remarkable work and reconsider putting her on your roster at Adams Academy and let's go beat our arch rivals, whoever they are.
Sounds like quite a plan.
Unfortunately we have sent out all our admissions letters, the class is full and there's an extensive wait list.
Ah.
And while we would love to accomondate Marissa, it would be unfair to all the other applicants.
Yes it would be.
I was hoping we wouldn't tell them.
Have you seen any of Marissa's art work? Here's a self-portrait which certainly exhibits a depth of insight that is highly unusual for a child of nine.
As you know, Marissa is a girl who cannot smile.
Yes, that was brought to our attention, and our hearts go out to her.
Tell you what.
Let's make a deal.
Keep your hearts, and let the girl into the school.
Mr.
Shore.
The Adams Academy is a highly demanding, highly competitive institution.
We turn down over ninety percent of our applicants.
And in a transfer case like this, it's ninety-eight percent.
Now for whatever reasons, Marrissa simply did not meet our standards.
Perhaps she just need a year of maturing Maturing? She's ready for retirement.
Well, she is free to reapply to our academy next year.
She cannot wait another year.
Thank you for coming in, Mr.
Shore.
I take it we've stopped being nice.
I know I have.
Mr.
Tremont, Marissa has a disability, and you and your institution are discriminating against her.
Mr.
Shore, that is not true.
But even if it were true as a private school we have every right to discriminate against disabled students.
As a private school we aren't bound by the I.
D.
E.
A.
and neither parents nor students have any recourse to challenge denial of service.
Oh my God.
You're a lawyer.
Yes.
Several of us are.
Let me tell you two things about myself.
I too am a lawyer.
I can be painfully vindictive and I do not play fair.
That's three things.
See? Not playing fair already.
I'm just getting started.
Mr.
Shore, our school has been sued several times.
Never successfully.
You know what they say, Lester.
You never forget your first time.
Dr.
Tusten, Ms.
Bauer is saying that there's no moral debate at play here.
In the Catholic religion, human life begins when the egg is fertilized not implanted.
At that stage a life is in motion.
Regardless of how it happened, my moral and religious beliefs will not allow me to interfere and the conscience clause ensures that I don't have to.
Of course you also follow this.
The U.
S.
Department of Justice's protocol for treating sexual assault victims, is that right? It's a very effective tool for handling the delicate nature of these cases.
In the one hundred and thirty pages of this document does it ever recommend using the morning-after pill? No.
But it does address several important issues regarding the care of a sexual assault victim, including collecting a biological sample to assist in locating and prosecuting the attacker.
And were you successful in obtaining that sample? We were.
The rapist was identified, convicted and is awaiting sentencing.
Nothing further.
Dr.
Tusten, in extreme circumstances like sexual assault, many Catholic hospitals will make an exception to the provide rape victims with emergency contraception.
Catholic hospitals are free to interpret sections of the Ethical and Religious Directives liberally or conservatively.
We at St.
Mary's take a very strict application of Catholic teachings.
Tell me, Dr.
Tusten, do you have a set schedule at the ER? Nine to five, Monday to Friday? Shifts are usually much longer than that.
We're often on call for twenty-four hours at a time.
Ah! So you often work weekends? Of course.
But that would put you squarely on the job during the Sabbath.
And.
.
Exodus 35:2 states that he who works on the Sabbath should be put to death.
That's a rather fundamentalist interpretation.
Moving on.
Mark 16:18 states that a believer can drink any deadly thing and not be harmed.
As a physician, are you ready to say that your Catholic patients can take a swig of arsenic and suffer no adverse effects? That's not intended to be interpreted literally.
But, you interpret some things literally.
Are you saying that you just follow the parts of the Bible that make sense to you? God was fairly straightforward with, "Thou shalt not kill".
They said, "If you pour it, people come".
Not tonight, Denny.
I'm angry.
Did you know private schools can openly discriminate because of religion, gender, even disability? Of course they can.
They're private.
That's the way it oughta to be.
That's the way it once was with clubs.
Before the feminists, lesbian cabal ruined this country.
Trying to get a young girl into the Adams Academy.
The one Miss Gloomy Gerta there? She's not gloomy.
Oh, pulled a coin out of her ear, she didn't even laugh.
There's something wrong with that girl.
That is the acid test.
You're a little Gloomy Gerta yourself, aren't you? I don't know how I'm gonna get her in.
The entire legal system sits squarely on the other side.
You are missing the whole point.
Which is? The concept of private.
Private doesn't operate by the law.
Private operates above the law.
Like, like Greek gods.
Hovering above the earth on their own private mountain.
Now Greek gods broke the rules and the laws, but the one thing they respect was power and influence.
And Alan, if all else fails, and you think you've lost pretend you've won! Works for our president.
Maybe it just isn't funny.
I hate cats.
I beg your pardon? Can't stand 'em.
Barry belonged to my third husband.
When he tried to pick me up at a bar, his toupee was slipping.
He told me he was a breast inspector.
And you married him? You can see why I preferred the cat.
Husbands come and go.
And when they go their friends go with them and you end up alone.
Except for Barry.
I apologize for what can be construed as an inappropriate gesture last week.
As you should.
And I know you think I'm blackmailing you because you tried to bribe me, and I am, but putting all this aside for now, I really need you to win this.
Please.
You want to see me, Mr.
Crane? Yeah.
Yeah.
Garrett, ah.
Good morning.
Here, come on.
Funny? How did you do that? You and me lunch tomorrow I'll show you how.
Let's keep in mind exactly who's at fault for Amelia Warner's trauma.
Her rapist.
And yet, here we are attacking the doctor that treated Amelia, whoes efforts are responsible for the apprehension and imprisonment of that rapist.
Because that doctor acted within his rights, did not administer medication that conflicted with his religious beliefs, beliefs that he promised to uphold when he was hired at St.
Mary's.
But forget religion.
Let's look at the law.
In a one hundred and thirty pages of protocol on how to treat sexual assault victims the Unites States Department of Justice never even mentions the use of emergency contraception.
It's simply not the standard of care.
There is in fact no law in place in the state of Massachusetts that explicitly requires Catholic hospitals to dispense or provide information for emergency contraception under any circumstances.
And we simply can't pretend that there is on the basis of sentiment or sympathy.
One of our many rights in this country is what is called "informed consent".
Every patient has the right to decide what happens to his or her body.
And to make that decision a patient needs to rely on her doctor to disclose all available options.
Do you want chemo therapy or surgery for a brain tumor? Do you want to amputate below the knee and hope for the best and risk death from gangrene? Do you want to prevent pregnancy or have your rapist's baby? Amelia Warner didn't get to choose.
She was deprived of a crucial medically relevant option because her doctor didn't approve of it.
She didn't choose to receive health care restricted by religious doctrine.
She was taken to the ER unconscious.
She relied on her doctor at St.
Mary's to provide her with proper care or refer her elsewhere and he failed her.
Twenty-five thousand women will become pregnant from rapes this year.
If all of those women took this emergency contraception, twenty-two thousand of those pregnancies could be avoided.
Doctors provide a crucial public benefit to a diverse society and we cannot condone it when they impose their own religion on patients whom they are professionally obligated to serve.
Especially patients in their most vulnerable state.
A teenage for example, brought in to the emergency room after a brutal rape.
A teenager who is now left to choose between violating her own moral principals in terminating the pregnancy or postponing college to deliver this child.
A child conceived against her will, a direct result of the most traumatic ordeal she has ever endured.
Mr Tremont! Mr Shore! I believe our business is done in regards to Ms Deaver.
Oh, absolutely.
Water under the bridge.
I'm here in an entirely unrelated matter.
Yes.
What is it, Cindy? There's a news crew from ABC here? What? That happens to be the unrelated matter.
What's going on? Well.
The thing is it's all my fault.
I was so sure I was going to be victorious and persuade you to admit Marissa into you school.
Total hubris on my part, I went and called Darcy DeVictor, she does the human interest pieces over at the local ABC affiliate.
We were briefly an item.
Don't let her perky on-air demeanor fool you she's quite deviant in the bedroom.
Anyway.
I figured this was exactly the kind of story that Darcy likes and this is the part that gets me excited sink her teeth into.
You know the little artist that can't smile and the supportive school that loves her.
I always love showing off in front of an exgirlfriend, but wouldn't you know it, I got excited and jumped the gun.
So! I'll let you get back to work.
I'm gonna go out and let her know that I was wrong and you were right and the school prevailed in its determination to discriminate against this little girl and her disability.
You wouldn't happen to have any of Marissa's drawings still? Darcy was dying to show them on air.
Hey! This may be a way to salvage a story actually.
You know? The little girl who can't smile, her dream shattered by the exclusionary will of the inbred elite.
Something like that! Oh! Wait! I got something.
Darcy? Lestor! Doggy massage.
Pet Prozac.
Kitty yoga.
Bark-Mitzvahs.
Pet plastic surgery? And now life support? What is wrong with us? Have we lost all perspective? There are now as many starving people in this world as there were people in this world a generation ago.
And yet every year in this country we spend thirty billion dollars on our pets.
Your Honor, you had this right from the beginning.
This is ludicrous.
This is a property issue just as you noted.
And as hard as it is to let Barry Manilow go, it's time to stop prolonging the inevitable.
Your Honor? I have to admit when I first picked this case I thought it was just as silly as you do.
I mean this couple broke up, they managed to divvy up the car and TV, why couldn't they figure out what to do with the cat? Because.
Unlike our cars and our TV's our pets transcend our property.
Property that lives and breaths.
Property that loves us back unconditionally in an increasingly harsh and isolating world.
This is what Barry Manilow is, and always has been to Beverly Bridge! Now, Barry Manilow didn't care how much makeup Beverly wore or whether her outfits were just a little bit too tight for someone her age.
He never ostracized her when she got divorced or demanded she get a job.
Never asked how she spent her money.
Never came home smelling like another woman.
And he never made Beverly his trophy! Barry Manilow was simply there for Beverly.
In fact Barry Manilow treated Beverly better than most of her husbands did.
Now he may be very ill now, but there's a slight chance that he can recover.
We need to hold on to that chance.
Who among us here has the power to say that the spark of a soul is any less significant because it resides in the body of a pet? I do.
It's a cat.
And the costs of keeping this cat on a ventilator indefinitely are exorbitant.
Especially coupled with the pain this cat must be in and its remote chance of recovery.
Ms Bridge, I am sorry for your loss, but I must hereby order that Barry Manilow's ventilator be shut off.
That damn cat isn't gonna die.
Fine.
You can have him.
Has the jury reached its verdict? We have, Your Honor.
What say you? We the jury find in favor of the plaintiff and hereby award compensatory damages in the amount of one hundred thousand dollars.
Additionally, we award punitive damages in the amount of two point six million dollars.
The court thanks the jury for its service.
We are adjourned.
Thank you.
Congratulations.
Thank you so much.
Amelia, you are a courageous human being.
I don't feel like it, but thank you.
You look good in blue, Marissa.
I drew this for you.
Oh my goodness! It looks like they're going to have a quite a day.
You know, Marissa, not smiling has its benefits.
You don't give your thoughts away so easily It's a great advantage in card playing That's funny.
But I'd rather fit in.
Have you ever heard of a Greek philosopher named Epictetus? No.
It was a funny man with a certain flare for life.
Epictetus compared people who "fit in" to the white threads of a toga.
Indistinguishable.
He wanted to be the purple thread.
"That small part which is bright," "and makes all the rest appear graceful and beautiful".
Why then " he asked, "do you tell me to make myself like the many?" "And if I do, how shall I still be purple?" Sometimes being purple is kind of a pain.
Yes.
Bev.
Hello, Brad.
Barry's feeling better? I mean, he doesn't walk or move or anything, but he's breathing on his own.
I didn't exactly win the case, but "All's well, that end's well.
" So we're square.
I'll tell you when we're square, Brad.
Damn it.
So? I just spoke with her mother.
She's having an abortion.
While it's still legal.
Girl who said she would never even consider it.
Well.
What's the alternative? Having custody battles with your rapist? Sorry.
That was really tasteless.
It's all tasteless.
I mean the more science comes up with alternatives to the misery of abortion the louder the opposition.
Course it's about power.
It's always been about power.
These guys have any friends? Not for long.
Alan.
I've been thinking about something.
What's that? I want you to kill me.
The scotch and cigars and nightly consumption or red meat have that well in hand.
No, no, no.
Seriously.
I don't fear death.
I never have.
But I am afraid of being hooked up to a machine.
All those tubes, brain, mush.
Would you like to live like that? No.
If it came to that, my friend, I would pull your plug.
Pull a plug? What kind of death is that? I want you to shoot me.
Shoot you? Denny Crane is not gonna be turned off like a hair dryer.
Live by the gun, die by the gun.
I'm not gonna shoot you.
Why not? I'd shoot you! Denny, you've been a lawyer in this town for forty years.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who'd willing shoot you.
Well, I don't wanna be shot by a stranger.
I wanna be shot by someone who, who cares for me.
The answer is, "No".
Bah! You b Democrate! Protesting wars, banning guns! If you Nancy's had your way nobody would ever shoot anybody.
And then where would we be? Where would we be?