Dark Angel s02e15 Episode Script

Appreciate you doing this for me, Max.
You almost ready? 'Cause Fat Tony and his crew always show up at the 49 Club by nine.
Get there late and you risk them already hooking up with their goumadas.
- Their what? - Goumada.
Like a comare.
A girlfriend.
Oh.
Thanks.
Just tell me about the guy I'm supposed to get close to.
Dougie Colantonio.
Goes by the name of Books.
What is it with these wise guys and their stupid nicknames? He's an accountant for the Sparacino crime syndicate.
A while back, he was all set to rat on the family, in exchange for Eyes Only's guarantee of witness protection and a new identity.
I mean, it was the scoop of a lifetime, Max.
He was gonna give me the capo di tutti capi.
- The capi tutti what-ie? - The boss of bosses.
I mean, no one outside the organization's even seen this guy.
He's totally paranoid.
No one knows what he looks like.
Every time he goes out in public, he wears a disguise.
Dougie was gonna get him to the track, tip his identity, so Matt Sung could swoop in and slap the cuffs on him.
- What happened? - Ah, he lost his nerve.
Now he won't even talk to my source.
Says that, uh, he's a stand-up guy and he's no stoolie.
I ain't buyin' it.
Little mook just needs convincin'.
Someone's spent too much time listening to surveillance tapes.
- What? - I said I got it.
My mission is to flip Dougie.
What do you think? Fuhgeddaboudit.
So you guys are in waste management? Is that like garbagemen? No, sweetie, we're, uh, more on the corporate end.
Yeah, see, local businessmen pay us a fee, and we send our crews out to take the trash off the streets.
Wow.
There's, like, so much trash on the streets.
Business is booming.
- To the Pulse.
- To the Pulse.
- You guys are kidding, right? - Best thing that ever happened to a small collective of honest businessmen such as ourselves.
Crime rate is up police corruption is back even the Pezzonovantes have their hands out for gifts.
End of the century, the mob was on the run.
Dying breed.
Then, badda-bing, one little nuclear airburst fried all the Sputniks, and we are back, baby.
Number one with a bullet.
And, uh, what do you do with the corporation, good fella? - I'm the accountant.
- Yeah.
He cooks the books.
Uh, he keeps the books.
Right, Doug? Don't take it personal, hon.
He's got a condition.
- Epilepsy.
- "Epilepsy".
It's not epilepsy.
That's necrophilia.
- All right, shut up, both of you.
It's narcolepsy.
Makes a person fall asleep for no good reason, like some kind of babbo.
Hey! Heads up, here.
We got ladies present.
- Nice for you to call me a lady, Tony.
Wasn't talkin' about you, Mia.
Now scram.
You know the boss don't want you around Books here.
Shouldn't that be up to Dougie? - You heard him.
Scram.
- Who's the skirt? You want we should start barring you from the club, huh? Now beat it! - What's her dealio? - Don't worry about it.
- You just have a nice time.
- Okay.
You think that's funny? You think you're some kinda comedian, huh? I didn't mean to.
I swear.
I I don't know how it happened.
Clumsy guys like you need to be more careful.
You could have an accident.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'll just go to the ladies' room and dry off.
Get out of here.
Oh.
Sorry about before.
Oh, it's okay.
- I'm Mia.
- Dorothy.
That's a pretty name.
- So, Dorothy, what do you do? - I'm a bike messenger at Jam Pony.
That sounds like fun.
So you're Dougie's new girl, huh? Not exactly.
Well, what exactly? Actually, my name's Max.
I'm undercover on a mission for Eyes Only.
What kind of mission? I'm supposed to get Dougie to flip on the Sparacino family, finger the boss for Eyes Only.
It's the scoop of a lifetime.
That is so exciting.
But, Max, you have to be careful.
Those guys are dangerous.
- Oh, it's cool.
I'm genetically engineered.
I can totally kick their asses.
- You're kidding.
- No.
I'm from Manticore.
I covered my barcode with makeup.
- Wow! Me too! I'm psy-ops.
What about you? - X-series.
Neat.
Well, Max, since you and I are sharing all girlfriend-like, why don't you tell me who Eyes Only really is? 'Cause I'd really like to talk to him about something.
- I can't.
- I won't tell.
I promise.
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
You don't have to.
But for tonight forget about Dougie, okay? You just go on home and get some rest.
Actually, I am kinda tired.
I've said too much.
- Oh, don't worry.
You won't remember.
- Remember what? - Remember to powder your nose.
They designed her to be the perfect soldier - a human weapon.
Then she escaped.
In a future not far from now, in a broken world, she is haunted by her past.
She cannot run; she must fight to discover her destiny.
Oh, see I thought you'd swing by last night, which is why I was paging you.
Got really tired all of a sudden.
Went home and slept for like four hours.
You slept for four hours? - Yeah, I must be coming down with something.
What'd you want, anyway? To find out what happened with Dougie.
- Dougie? - Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
Didn't work out.
- What do you mean, didn't work out? A waiter spilled a drink on me.
Kinda killed the evening, so I bounced.
Okay, Max.
If you didn't want to do this for me, all you had to do was say so.
I told you, it just didn't work out.
Well, it sounds to me like you weren't trying very hard.
Sounds to me like I did you a favor, and now I'm getting a scolding for it.
Max, this is important.
If your heart's not in it, feel free to opt out.
I'll find someone else.
I told you I'd do it, so I'll do it.
You know, now hook me up again, and I'll take another shot at Dougie.
If I wanted to get reprimanded, you know, I could always go to work.
I just don't know why you won't consider a triumphant return to the ring.
You were like a master, my friend.
You were unequaled - without peer.
Well, it's not like I didn't enjoy knocking grown men unconscious for a living.
It's just that there comes a time in life when you say, "That was then, and this is now", and move on to bigger and oh-so-better things.
Hi there.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- I'm looking for a job.
- Oh.
Well, sorry.
We're staffed.
Normal! Why so quick to say no? Why don't you at least let the lovely young lady fill out an application? What? All right.
There's an application form in the back.
Yeah.
Thanks, pal.
Hi there.
I'm Alec, by the way.
- Mia.
Well, it is a pleasure to know you.
I know you.
- I don't think so.
No, I do.
I'm sure of it.
Back at Manticore.
I spent six months in psy-ops for evaluation.
You were there.
I never forget a face.
- Can't put anything past you.
Not now, not ever.
Now what was your specialty again? Was it, uh, hypnosis? Telekinesis? - Telecoercion, actually.
Right.
Hi.
I'm Mia.
Alec.
Nice to meet you.
- Hey.
- Yeah? - Who's the honey? - Some girl looking for a job.
- Please, God, tell me Normal's gonna hire her.
- Yeah.
Here you go.
I gotta warn you, though, I got a stack of resumes in there as high as my tush.
Can I be a dispatcher? - Yeah.
Nothing less will do.
- Neat! Hey.
Do I know you? I don't think so, since I just started working here today.
I'm a dispatcher.
It's really fun.
- Yeah, I guess.
Here you go.
Thanks.
- Bad day, boo? - Yeah, I had this weird scene with Logan earlier.
I thought you two were trying to get things back to normal.
Right.
So I figured what's more normal than volunteering for his oh-so-urgent, let's-save-the-world-by-Tuesday Eyes Only missions? - The man loves his work.
- Only I guess I forgot how focused he can get.
I mean, he asks for my help, but then it's like nothing I do is good enough.
Sometimes I just don't get him.
Well, get this.
Here comes your boy, and I bet he's bringing an apology with him.
Hey, guys.
Mind if I join you? Have a seat.
I was just gonna zip to the ladies' room.
- Wanted to talk to you about earlier.
- Okay.
When you said you wanted to stick with the mission? 'Cause I got a tip Dougie's gonna be back at the club tomorrow night.
Now, if you were serious about taking another run at him, that'd be the time.
- Whatever.
- "Whatever"? That all you're gonna say? Is that all I'm gonna say? - What? What did I do? - Nothing.
Never mind.
- I'm gonna go get a drink - Bar's over there.
- Are you sure we've never met before today? - Positive.
I'd remember you.
You just seem so familiar.
- Who was that guy talking to Max? - Who, Logan? That's her boyfriend.
'Course they like to pretend that nothing's going on between 'em.
It's psychotic.
but sweet.
- You don't like him? - Logan? Eh, he's all about saving the world, and doing good for others.
It's really boring.
but admirable.
- Hey, Alec.
- Logan.
Hi.
I'm Mia.
I'm Logan.
Nice to meet you.
Logan, I think there's something that Alec wants to say to you.
Yeah, Logan, I just wanted to say that I understand why Max admires you so much.
Sometimes I wish I had more of a purpose in life.
Logan, is there something you want to say to Alec? Well, it's just that I don't know, sometimes I wish I was more of a free spirit, and it must be nice to be a happy-go-lucky sociopath.
Kinda envy you.
Group hug! What the hell is going on over there?! If I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes, I wouldn't have ever believed it.
Uh hey, guys.
- Okay.
Later.
- Yeah, later.
- So you're Max's boyfriend, right? - Something like that.
Actually, I'm crazy about her.
- Well, then, why aren't you together? Oh, it's a long story.
Oh, I love long stories.
Plus I've got oodles of time.
Well, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but a secret government agency called Manticore infected her with a deadly virus that's genetically targeted to my DNA.
- Bummer.
Why'd they do that? - They wanted to kill me.
- How come? Oh, 'cause I'm Eyes Only.
- Really.
- Yeah.
- Morning.
- Morning.
Oh, gosh, it's so exciting! - What is? Well, that you're getting back into the ring and coming out of retirement.
I am? Just in time for the big elimination fight tomorrow night.
Do my ears deceive me? Monty Cora rides again? I'm back, baby! Oh, lovely! Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear this? This right here magnificence.
Shirtless muscle, ripplin', sweat flyin' off like a thousand points of light - He's one of my bigger fans.
- You're my hero.
I live to serve you.
I had this dream about you the other night.
You were this, uh, Roman gladiator, and you slew barbarians and Medusa-like women, and I was your tiny little valet.
I wiped your sword clean after every sweet victory.
I rubbed your tired, beautiful, golden muscles Hot run! Fourth and Main! - Hi.
- Hey.
Ooh, sweetie, what's wrong? Is it Logan? - Yeah.
- Listen, everything's going to work out, okay? - You really think so? - We'll talk.
Come to Crash later.
I can't.
I promised Logan I'd do this thing for him.
At the 49 Club, with Dougie? You don't have to worry about that.
- Wait, how'd you know? - Never mind.
Forget I said anything.
Meet you at Crash later? - Okay.
- There's something about that girl.
- Who? - The new dispatch girl.
Mia.
- Yeah, there's something about her, all right.
I feel like I've met her before, but I can't place where.
Do not attempt to adjust your set.
This is a streaming freedom video bulletin.
- Hey, Sid-turn it up.
The cable hack will last exactly sixty seconds.
It cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped, and it is the only free voice left in this city.
For too long, the Sparacino family has held Seattle in a stranglehold.
From behind a veil of secrecy, its boss and his men tyrannize and rob our citizens.
But Eyes Only knows who you are.
- Since when? Isn't that the case you've been helping Logan with? Yeah, I was supposed to do it tonight I think.
- Your disguises will no longer protect you.
Your identity is about to be exposed.
And once that happens I thought we had a stranglehold on waste collection.
Listen to this trash comin' out of this bocca.
Your empire is in ruins.
Even your own lieutenants can't be trusted.
They're ripping you off, making a fool out of you.
Check the records, Sparacino, because something doesn't add up.
You think you can operate unchecked? - Yeah.
That your money and your underworld influence will keep you safe? Well, just look around.
Too long, you've trusted the wrong people - The boss wants to see us.
- the people closest to you.
- Now.
Now that misplaced trust will mean the end of you, and the destruction of your illegal operations.
Be warned.
This has been a streaming freedom video bulletin.
Peace.
Out.
How was that? Perfect.
Are you okay? Yeah, it's just I think I was supposed to do something with Max tonight.
It must be nice to have a transgenic to help you with your missions and stuff.
Oh, yeah, it's great.
Wait a second.
How'd you know that? Never mind.
Forget I said anything.
Forget I was even here.
See you at Crash later? - Okay.
It may seem like I'm content being this good-for-nothing slacker, but but the truth is, I don't plan on being a bike messenger the rest of my life.
- It's good to have goals.
- Yeah.
Um I haven't told anybody this, but last week I dropped them off a resume.
That's swell, Sketch! If New World Weekly hires me, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this whole mutant thing.
You see, it says here, uh, some of them even have paranormal psychic abilities.
Ooh, like what? Like they can mess with your mind and you don't even know what's happening.
Seems a little farfetched to me.
- I wouldn't be so sure about that.
- Gosh, imagine what would be involved.
Manipulating brain wave patterns, interfering with short-term memory formation just seems a little hard to believe.
Yeah I guess it does seem kind of ridiculous when you put it like that.
Yeah.
Still, sounds like a really good job.
I hope you get it.
Thanks.
Just what the doctor ordered.
Probably shouldn't drink the night before a big fight.
You know what? You're right.
You are gonna do great.
I just know it.
That's how come I'm gonna stake you five grand.
How's that sound? That sounds great.
You should probably go home and rest up for tomorrow, huh? Yeah, I'll just go home and rest up for tomorrow night.
Hey.
Maybe I should go check out the action over there.
Caught your hack.
Oh.
Well, I didn't come to talk shop.
I just wanted to see you.
Oh.
Well.
How'd you flip Dougie? - I didn't.
Then how'd you know who the capo tutti-frutti guy was? I don't.
Then why'd you say you did? - I have my reasons.
- Like what? I mean, you just tipped the guy you're looking to out.
I thought you said you weren't interested in this case.
- I'm not.
- Then what's with all the questions? - I'm just wondering - Well, then, what Kids, come on.
You guys love each other, remember? Don't fight.
You're here to have a good time.
See you tomorrow.
I like that Mia.
She's nice.
Although there is something about her Yeah.
That's what I keep thinking, ever since I met her, except I can't exactly remember when I met her.
- Should I go powder my nose again or something? - Remember to powder your nose.
- Wait a minute.
I did meet her.
- You did? At the 49 Club.
With Dougie.
At least I think it was with Dougie.
- You think? - Yeah.
I don't know.
- Max - All I know is that if it was her, it's not exactly a coincidence, her looking for a job at Jam Pony.
Wakey, wakey.
- I'm a dead man.
I'm history.
- What's wrong? "What's wrong"? Didn't you see what that Eyes Only got on the TV and said? - No, I must have missed it.
- The boss is gonna get onto that I talked to him.
Oh, God, what was I thinking? - Here.
I'm about to be killed to death, and you give me a paper bag? Well, you're gonna hyperventilate.
Breathe! Poor Dougie.
I told you the life wasn't for you.
Don't start with that again! I gotta do something.
Something to prove my loyalty.
I need a plan, a course of action.
Something! It's - it's that Catholic thing.
I'm having bad thoughts.
I'm having bad thoughts.
- Everything's gonna be okay.
- No, Mia! Not unless that Eyes Only shuts his trap! Don't worry about Eyes Only.
I'm gonna take care of him.
I'm gonna make everything all right for you.
Okay? Now did you bring the money? - Five thousand.
I gotta be crazy.
- No, you're not.
I've got a sure thing that's gonna make a lot of money for you, me, and the boss.
You have to just trust me, okay? I won't let anything happen to you.
I'm crazy about you.
I still can't believe a girl like you could love a guy like me.
Believe it.
Just make sure you bring your boss to the fight hall tomorrow.
Okay? Hey, you.
- Hey, you.
- Hey yourself.
Okay, I deserved that.
- You're Manticore.
- Uh, yeah.
- You don't look like an X-series.
- I'm psy-ops.
You know, cozying up to the big shots, getting them to tell me what they know.
It's fun.
Good for you.
Now what's your connection to Dougie Colantonio? Well, I don't think that's any of your business.
Tell me what you were doing with him, or I wrap you around this post.
Dougie's in big trouble with his boss on account of the Eyes Only broadcast.
I gotta help him prove his loyalty or he's gonna wind up dead.
Prove his loyalty how? I gave him a really hot tip on a cage fighter that can't be beat.
He passes that tip along to his boss and everybody winds up making a mint at the fight tomorrow night.
Dougie proves his worth, and he and I run away and live happily ever after.
The end.
Give me a break.
You expect me to believe you're in love with Dougie? - What's wrong with Dougie? - Never mind.
He's not going anywhere until he comes through and fingers the boss for Eyes Only.
- Says who? - Says me.
Well, that's funny, 'cause you're not gonna even remember this conversation.
- Morning, Max.
- Hey, Mia.
Ouch.
What happened to your eye? Craziest thing.
Woke up this morning and it was just there.
No idea how it happened.
Seems to me like you slipped in the shower and banged yourself on the shampoo caddy.
Must've hurt like the dickens.
- That's so weird.
- What? - That's exactly what happened.
Slipped in the shower, banged my head on the shampoo caddy.
Hurt like the dickens.
Thought so.
You should try to be more careful, Max.
Yeah.
Thanks.
I will.
Here you go.
That's for you.
- Where did you come up with this kind of cash? - Don't ask.
- Okay.
- Eight o'clock tonight, Monty.
Don't be late.
Yeah.
The kid gets in the ring at eight o'clock.
You let it ride the rest of the night.
You'll make a couple of mill, easy.
- You say it's a sure thing? - A sure thing, boss.
Good, because I need a sure thing right about now.
What's this about this Eyes guy going on TV, saying my men disrespect me? Like a knife in the heart.
- He's lying, boss.
We'd never to anything to disrespect you, and you know that.
What I know is I got a reputation to uphold.
Can't let the other families be talkin' behind my back, thinkin' I lost my edge.
Are you sure this is a sure thing? - We're sure, boss.
You better be, because if your boy doesn't come through, you two are gonna end up at opposite end zones.
Capisce? - Let's go.
Logan.
- Hey.
You all right? - Yeah.
What are you doing here? Well, I was worried about you.
After I didn't hear back from you last night, I started paging you, and I have been paging you ever since.
Batteries in my pager must be dead.
Didn't hear it beep.
Huh.
I must have lost it.
- So how'd it go last night? - How'd what go? You followed Mia to see if there was any connection between her and Dougie Colantonio.
I did? You don't remember? What happened to your eye? Slipped in the shower, banged my head on the shampoo caddy, hurt like the dickens.
You're kidding.
Or maybe I was in a fight.
- Maybe you were in a fight? - With Mia.
She hit me.
Really hard, that bitch! - What are you talking about? - She's Manticore.
- Mia? - Yeah.
In psy-ops.
Paranormal research division.
She does this thing, to make me forget.
So Manticore made transgenics that can screw with people's heads.
Makes sense.
Yeah, she met with Dougie.
She's up to something.
- What else happened? - I sat up embroidering them all night.
May be a little itchy, but - Wow.
Thanks, Normal.
They're great.
- Yeah.
Good luck, buddy.
- What was that about? You fighting again? - Tonight.
Are you insane? The last time, White caught you and threw your ass in a cage.
True.
So how could you be stupid enough to get back into the ring? Funny, I've been asking myself the same question.
Mia.
Oh, look who's here.
Tony and his crew.
Mia and Dougie have got to be around here somewhere.
Let's hear it, ladies and gentlemen, for Ricky "The Ripper" Ramberg! And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my distinct pleasure to introduce our next challenger.
New to our arena, coming in at six feet and weighing in at 178 pounds, the marvelous Monty Cora! - What is he thinking?! - The shorts look great! - There they are.
- Let's do it.
On the bell, gentlemen.
Let it all ride on Monty Cora, there, Sparky.
Thank you.
- He's fantastic, Mia! - Told ya! - Uh, you better get back over there.
- Thank you.
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick your ass.
Oh, hi.
Hey, there's Logan.
Hi, Logan! So what are you guys up to? I was about to ask you the same question.
Here we go again.
the titan of terror, give it up for Jim the Jackal! Thank you, my man.
Tommy Thunder! - Can I get a drink? - You okay? Yeah.
Except I think Mia put the whammy on me again, because I have no idea what we just talked about.
I do.
Oh, yeah.
Forgot you were listening.
Thank God.
Dougie's worried the boss is gonna find out he talked to Eyes Only.
Mia convinced Alec to fight so Dougie could do a solid for the don.
- So the boss is here? - Somewhere.
Dressed as a peanut vendor, probably.
Dougie's about to make him a small fortune, and once he gets back in his good graces, he'll never flip.
Unless Alec goes down and the boss loses all his money on account of Dougie.
And what are the chances of that happening? - Depends on Alec.
- I'll call Matt Sung.
- Call Matt Sung.
Tell him to get his men over here.
Four, three, two, one.
- Alec! - Max, hey.
You wanna bet on me? - You gotta lose this next fight.
- What? - Take a dive, hit the mat, lose the fight.
- Yeah, right.
I'm up like a hundred grand.
- You don't get it.
Mia played you.
- No, no, she spotted me my startup money.
No, she fixed the fight so a bunch of mobsters could make a killing on you.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Logan's been trying to take these guys down for months.
If you don't throw the fight, they get off scot-free.
- It's not my problem.
- let's hear it for the avatar of agony, Mako! All right, gentlemen.
You know the drill.
When I leave the ring, the fight begins.
Any questions? Thank you very much.
Let's go.
Let's go.
You're up $122,000.
Ladies and gentlemen, undefeated against twelve opponents and still standing after all comers, we have a new champion - Not so fast.
I'll take him on.
- Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new challenger - What the hell are you doing? I told you to take a dive.
Now I'm gonna have to beat your ass myself.
- What do you have against me making money? - So what's your name, cupcake? She doesn't have a name.
You know what? She's not here.
She's not fighting.
Oh, yes, I am.
Ladies and gentlemen, in this corner, hailing from parts unknown, let's hear it for the Curvaceous Killer! - What do you think? - What do you mean, what do I think? Look at the freakin' odds.
Put it all on Dougie's guy for the boss.
- How much? - How much? All of it.
"How much".
You are so dead, missy-miss.
Excuse me, I'm gonna scootch to the front.
Hi, excuse me.
Excuse me.
- Everything on Monty Cora.
All right, here are the rules.
Well, there ain't no rules.
- Max, you don't want to fight me.
- Are you kidding? I've been waiting for this chance for months.
- Yeah, well, see, you're just a girl, and so Hey! She jumped the bell! What are you doing? She jumped the bell! Ring the bell! Will you ring the bell? Should've known you'd cheat.
- That's for the virus.
- That was not my fault! - That's for trying to kill Joshua.
- I was just trying to protect my own And that's for getting paint all over my research papers.
Okay, yeah, that was my bad.
- She's good.
Yeah, she's really good.
- Yeah.
- That's for making Joshua deliver your packages.
- Max, cut it out! That's for losing my baseball.
And this for whatever stupid thing you do next.
- Kick her ass! Okay.
That's it.
Oh, lovely! You better be at work tomorrow, there, miss.
Huh, pumpkin? Kill the messenger! - My turn now, bitch.
- What'd you just call me? - You heard me.
B-I-T-C - Oh, look at that.
Ring girl just lost her top.
- Yeah.
Oops.
Sorry.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for our new champion, the Curvaceous Killer! Hey! If you were thinking of going over there and working your mojo on Dougie, think again.
Come on.
Let's take a little ride, hmm? Douglas Colantonio? Detective Matt Sung, Seattle P.
D.
- He's got nothing to say to you.
- You're about to get dead, Dougie.
You were on thin ice with the boss already, and that's before you lost him a lot of money.
You go with them, you're gonna end your night in cement shoes.
"Cement shoes"? Who talks like that? These clowns don't know what they're talkin' about.
Come on.
We're ready to take you into protective custody.
Just say the word.
You won't get as good an offer from the boss.
Tell us who he is, you get a fresh start.
- Come on, Books.
Let's go.
Come on.
All you have to do is point a finger.
That's him right there! Stop her! You're dead! You're dead! I never really liked him much anyway.
You're under arrest for murder, racketeering, and bookmaking.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Go.
Now wait a second.
I don't get it.
You wanted Dougie to flip? I've been trying to get him out of this life since the day we met.
That's how come I had you do the Eyes Only hack - to push Dougie into doing the right thing.
So this whole thing was a setup? I knew you guys would show up here as soon as you got onto me.
Plus I knew you'd do whatever it took to help keep Dougie from running off.
- Here you go, miss.
- Thank you.
- What's that? - My winnings.
- You bet on me? - Of course.
How'd you know I'd win? 'Cause girls kick ass.
That's what the T-shirt says, right? Now wait a second.
If you wanted to get Dougie to quit the life, why didn't you just do your little thing to make him do what you wanted? You know, I think that's why I love him so much.
He's totally immune to me.
I think it's 'cause his brain wiring's a bit screwy on account of his condition.
So you like not having him wrapped around your finger? Yeah.
What fun is being in love if everything's easy? Look what you did to him.
What the hell are you? Normal, honey, you need to forget everything you saw here tonight.
I do? Just take Alec back to his place, then you go on home to bed.
Maybe you'll have one of those nice gladiator dreams you like so much.
Yeah.
I like that.
And you - here you go.
Thank you so much.
Let's go, there, buddy.
- All right, Dougie.
Time to go.
- Where? Where we going? Maui.
Come on.
We've got a plane to catch.
You are a beautiful, talented man.
And you? You couldn't be a more rocking, awesome chick if you tried.
You two are going to have the best life together.
You're so perfect for each other.
I know life stinks a little right now, but it can't always stink, right? Believe me.
If Dougie and I can make it work, so can you.
Always remember that, okay? I have the feeling I will.
All right, Nappy, time to go.
Can't really be mad at her.
I mean, you got your guy.
And she got hers.
Shall we? - May as well.
- So I hear you're a rocking, awesome chick.
- And you're a beautiful, talented man.
That's right.