Growing Pains s02e15 Episode Script
185975 - Thank God It's Friday
[PHONE RINGING.]
Hello, Ben Seaver's residence.
Carol, it's your stupid boyfriend.
Shut up, Ben, just shut up.
Hang up the phone, Ben.
-Ben, is your mom home yet? -Nope.
I thought I heard her car.
That's Mike.
He washed his car.
He's driving it back and forth on the driveway to air-dry it.
She better hurry or we're gonna miss the start of that movie.
I don't get why you guys wanna spend Friday night at a movie when you could stay home with me on the best TV night of the week.
It's like this, Ben.
Every once in a while, your mom and I like to go out together just to celebrate the fact that we have three great kids.
Sure, Dad.
Besides, Tuesday night is the best TV night.
And, oh, Ben, this is a new sitter tonight, so please be kind to her, okay? I don't need a sitter.
We've been over that.
I just mean the guy taking out Carol cancelled so she can watch me.
Well, I hope I can catch the sitter.
CAROL: I'm on the phone, pea brain.
Hi, honey.
Hi, Ben.
TGIF.
Oh, you said it.
I just wanna put my feet up and relax.
-Mom, you forgot the movie.
-What movie? The one Dad's been looking forward to all week.
Well, it's okay, Ben.
We'll have just as much fun staying home with you tonight.
And Carol.
What happened to her date with Bobby Winnet? He's grounded.
But I didn't do anything.
It's CarolÂs boyfriend.
He got his third speeding ticket in six months.
Ha-ha.
All right, Bobby.
Um.
I mean, you know, somebody should speak to the boy.
[SIGHS.]
Talk about bad news.
Bobby's grounded, the date's cancelled, you're bummed.
We heard.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go shower.
Big plans tonight? No, just me and Eddie and Boner are gonna go hang out.
You're gonna shower for Eddie and Boner? [CHUCKLES.]
Come on, Dad, I'm showering because I might get lucky.
Define "get lucky.
" Um.
Well, you know, I might run into one of my teachers and I sure want to be clean for that.
Ten bucks says he's going trolling for chicks.
Okay, okay, Ben, here's your beans and weenies.
And, Carol, you get the macho meat beef.
And, Jason, here's your it-sure-tastes-like-chicken chicken.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hello? Yeah.
Mike, it's Eddie! MIKE: Take a message, I'm shaving.
What's he shaving? Hey, those two chin hairs can get kind of unruly, you know.
I'll tell him, Eddie.
Eddie says what's keeping you? There's a thousand vices out there with your name on them.
Yes, I'll have a talk with him.
Thank you.
Uh, Dad, there's no need for you to have a talk with me.
After the fine job you and Dad have done teaching me the proper values I don't think there's gonna be anything to worry about.
I mean, what can you do, lock me in my room? BOTH: Hmm.
-Hey.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
-I'll get it.
-Okay, so I'll see you guys at 1.
And there's no need at all for you guys to wait up for me.
So whose turn is it to wait up, yours or mine? So, like, hi.
Jason, you forgot to cancel the babysitter? I thought you did.
Trudy, I'm sorry, we changed our plans.
I'll run you home.
Oh, wow, I'm not allowed.
Excuse me? My mom and dad are out for the evening and I'm not allowed to be home alone.
Wait a minute here.
Let me get this straight.
My sitter needs a sitter? So, what do you guys wanna do? We could try Bowl Your Brains Out, -Again? -Then you think of something.
The youth center's having a teenage mixer and fish fry.
And you're having a breakdown.
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
We could park outside a drive-in and lip-read a movie.
That's good.
That's real good.
Come on, man, it's Swedish.
[ALL SPEAK IN SWEDISH.]
Roland Taylor.
-Roland, man, how you doing? -I'm good, Seaver.
-Yeah.
-Eddie, Boner, how's it going? Hey.
How's college? Forget college.
How's the co-ed dorms? BOTH: Ha-ha-ha.
-So, what have you been up to? Just picking up some pizzas for a little get-together.
You? Oh, big stuff, big stuff.
Yeah, we got some dates with some Swedish women tonight.
[BOTH SPEAK IN SWEDISH.]
So the night's working out for all of us.
-It's good to see you guys.
MIKE: You too.
What's he got going? Eight large pizzas.
That's 74.
55.
There's 80.
You keep the change.
[MIKE CLEARS THROAT.]
Hey, Roland, about this little get-together tonight.
It's just your standard young girls, heated pool, no parents, let's-get-crazy event.
Yo, Rolando.
Roland, Roland, let me give you a hand here.
Boner, help the man out.
Wait a minute.
Are you guys really so pathetic that you're practically begging to come to the party? -Yes.
-Roland, please.
Yes.
Okay.
The food's over there.
The drinks are over there, and the women.
What the heck, they're everywhere.
Hey, Roland.
Roland, so whose house is this, anyway? Beats me.
-Will you look at this place? -Yeah, I'm looking, man.
-Holy mackerel, Eddie.
-What? What? Over there by the piano.
Is that Lana from Dewey? Wait, Lana who? Lana "My daddy gave me a Porsche for my birthday" Faraday.
Oh, wow, that could be.
I've never been in the same room with her.
Oh, look, man.
And there's Henry and Peter.
Look, there's John Simpson.
Can you actually believe we're at the same party with these guys? -You're right.
Come on, we should go.
-No, no.
No, there is no reason why we cannot run with this crowd, right? -Yeah.
-Just stay cool, be loose.
Wow, would you guys take a look at this mama? Keep it cool, Bone.
Cool it, okay? Come on, this is a real classy bunch.
Excuse me.
Gentlemen, start your engines.
I gotta go to the john first.
Hey, hey.
Wait your turn, bozo.
Oh, sorry.
Did you guys notice something? Rich people go to the bathroom in groups.
Come on, man, didn't you know that? Come on.
Don't embarrass us in front of these people, Boner.
Excuse me, that chick wants me.
Get real, huh? She wants me.
Yeah, well, you guys discuss it, all right? -Uh, heh.
Hi.
-Hi.
Um, I'm sorry, but I just had to tell you that you look just like a movie star.
Really? Which one? Which one? Well, you know, that real sexy movie star.
-Rob Lowe? -Right.
No, no.
You're cute.
Yeah, well, it's a look.
So would you like to go to the john with me? [LAUGHS.]
No, no, no, that's okay.
You go.
Oh, I'm sorry, you probably think that I'm after your stash.
Huh? It's my treat.
You are cool, aren't you? Um.
Cool.
Yeah.
RHONDA: Our turn.
-Uh.
Listen, I gotta go to the bathroom.
-Right.
I don't mean the bathroom.
The bathroom.
Rhonda, your parents are on the phone, long distance.
Okay.
Don't go away.
Mike Seaver.
-Right? -Yeah, Lana.
Lana, you have no idea how nice it is to see you.
Oh, nice to see you too.
Look, Lana, don't freak, but there is cocaine at this party.
Oh, I should hope so.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're funny.
Don't freak.
That's great.
That's great.
Ha-ha-ha.
Guys.
Guys, do you have any idea what kind of a party this is? -Oh, yeah, it's a great one.
-It's not, man, it's not.
Listen, there's cocaine at this party, right there in that bathroom.
-Yeah.
-Wow.
So rich people don't necessarily go to the bathroom together after all.
Come on, guys, we're not really interested in cocaine, are we? -No, I'm not.
-Not me.
Let's just get the hell out of here.
-But I am interested in Lana.
Ha-ha-ha.
-Oh, yeah.
Lana? She does cocaine too, man.
I thought she was cool.
Whoa, Mikey, you know, a lot of cool people use cocaine.
Eddie, that stuff is killing people.
It's not gonna hurt us if we use it just this one time with Lana and her female friends.
Yeah.
I'm sure that everybody who's been screwed up by that they felt the same way the first time.
Yeah.
And you're saying we're that wishy-washy? Yeah.
Would you look at the man? I rest my case.
Come on, let's split.
Mike, everyone's gonna think we're weenies if we go.
They won't, man.
Look, none of these people even know us.
We can just slip out of here and who will know? Hey, Seaver.
I found six more Dewey Hooters here tonight.
-Hi, Mike.
-Hey, Seaver.
Hi.
Oh, good.
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV.]
[GUNFIRE OVER TV.]
Who wants some fresh-from-the-oven mock apple pie? [IN UNISON.]
Shh! -Honey, mock apple? -Sure.
-What did I miss? -Plenty.
The Colombian cartel has these mules running a half ton of uncut snow into the Miami pipeline.
We're talking a street value of 16 million big ones here.
Sounds low to me.
Well, I got a great idea.
Why don't we watch a Disney movie on tape.
JASON: Yeah.
-Mom, not in front of Trudy.
How about Cinderella with all those cute little mice? When we had mice last year, you didn't think they were so cute.
Maggie, exactly what am I eating here? This tastes like a soggy cracker or something.
[HORN HONKING.]
That's my dad.
Well, Trudy, it's been nice having you as our guest.
Guest? Does that mean you're gonna try to get out of paying me? Um, um, um-- Of course not.
Jason? Oh, Jason, yeah, right, sure.
Here, Trudy.
Thanks.
Anytime you want me to babysit you guys, just let me know.
Okay.
Now, this was my favorite movie when I was a little girl.
Oh, boy, am I tired.
Yeah, I'm one tired little puppy.
CAROL: Good night, Dad.
BEN: Good night.
-Good night, Mom.
MAGGIE: Good night.
[SIGHS.]
Heh.
You know, when I was 10, if I knew half of what Ben knows now I'd have been dangerous.
Honey, Ben is dangerous.
-Hi, Mike.
-Hi.
We're dead.
We're dead.
-Everyone's gonna think we're weenies.
-Not necessarily.
I got an idea.
We don't have to say we don't wanna try cocaine.
All we have to say is we have to be home before 10.
[LAUGHS.]
What's so funny? I was thinking how upset my mom and dad would be if they knew I was having this party.
I'll bet.
Well, see, it's their coke.
Now, where were we? Um.
Uh, look.
-I just wanted to say that-- -That I'm Eddie and that's Boner up there.
Hi.
Well, let's make this a group toot.
-Lana? -Eddie? Seav, Seav, you can be cool or you can be a wimp here, huh? Rah, rah.
The hot tub is looking pretty good.
It'll look better once we visit the bathroom.
Don't mind if I do.
Oh, hot-tubbing with Lana Faraday.
I can't stand it.
It's lucky I'm wearing my trunks.
I ran out of clean underwear.
Shall we? Don't blow this for us, Mike, huh? [CHUCKLES.]
Is something wrong? Um.
Look, I'm just not in the mood, okay? He's just trying to get all the drugs out of his system.
Eddie, please.
If you're gonna have a discussion, could we use the john? Just wait a minute, okay? Now, what's going on here? Um.
Look, I've never done coke before.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
For a second there, I thought you guys were narcs.
Especially the strange-looking one.
Thank you.
Look, if it's your first time, we'll be gentle with you.
-First time here.
-First time, first time.
Hey.
I don't wanna do coke, okay? [BOTH LAUGHING.]
Hey, come on, what's wrong with that? Um.
I'm gonna go check on the hot tub.
I'll come with you.
[LANA AND RHONDA LAUGHING.]
Excuse us, boys.
Guys, I feel like a jerk.
Let's get out of here.
Are you guys coming or what? Oh, Mike, she's checking on the hot tub.
Eddie, can we go? Let's put it to a vote, huh? Look, we came together, we should leave together.
I thought you guys were my friends.
All right, you guys can stay or you can go, but I'm leaving.
I think I wanna stay, Mike.
Boner? Mike, friends don't make friends do something they don't want to.
Exactly.
You know I never thought Seaver would wimp out like that.
What? I'm confused, man.
We've been running with Mikey since the first grade.
We know he's not a wimp, he's cool.
So are you in or are you out, boys? [INSTRUMENTAL "AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL" PLAYING OVER TV.]
[HUMMING.]
[TURNS TV OFF.]
Well, 2:15 a.
m.
That's nice, Mike.
-Dad.
-Mike.
It is Mike, isn't it? No, it couldn't be.
My Mike was supposed to be home at 1a.
m.
-Uh-- Dad, I know I missed my curfew.
-Oh.
Well, you admit you have one.
That's progress.
Hey, Dad, isn't tonight the time when we turn the clocks back for the time change? No, Mike, that's in October, which is when you're gonna be grounded till unless you give me a good explanation.
-Okay-- -No, wait, let me get comfortable here.
You know how I love these stories.
So, what'll it be tonight, Mike? You were-- Oh, you saved some lives I bet, huh? Wait, wait.
I bet you ran into those darn gypsies again.
Hmm? [SIGHS.]
Are you okay? Dad.
Can I talk to you as a friend and not as a guy who could make my life miserable? What's wrong, Mike? Dad, I gotta know that what I tell you won't be used against me.
Okay, what is it? So I have your word that whatever I say, you're not-- Mike, just say it, okay? Okay.
Me and Eddie and Boner we ended up at a party where everybody was doing cocaine.
Cocaine? Mike-- Remember, you're not my dad, you're a friend.
Cocaine? Really? Yeah, and if you didn't do it, you were a wimp.
Cocaine? Dad, I've never felt so much pressure in my life.
-And? -Even from Boner and Eddie.
-And? -Dad, it was like I didn't have a choice.
-And? -I didn't do it.
You didn't do it, as in you did not? I didn't do the stupid drug.
Well, that's great, Mike, that's.
That's wonderful.
I always figured you'd make that right choice if you had to face that, but I'm relieved, Mike.
Dad, Dad, that's not it.
What? Dad, I've been thinking about this since the party.
I have been driving and driving-- Mike, Mike you did the right thing.
Yeah, that's what kills me.
I don't understand.
Dad, I know I did the right thing.
It's just that I feel like.
Like everybody's gonna laugh at me.
And some of those people did laugh.
Mike, you're never gonna be able to please everybody.
Yeah, well, tonight I didn't please anybody.
Except yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, what you did tonight took real courage, Mike.
I admire you.
-Thanks.
-You sleep on it.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, Mike.
Thanks, Dad.
Um.
Eddie and Boner called for you.
What? They said they didn't go to the bathroom and they don't want to.
Well, what do you know? What does that mean? A lot.
What a world.
[PIANO PLAYING.]
[CHATTERING.]
Hi.
You know, a lot of people will tell you drugs are cool.
The same people who are saying that everybody's doing something.
So, what's your problem? Well, they're wrong.
Everybody's not doing drugs, and you don't have to try them to be cool.
Look, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your lives.
But I am telling you that you don't have to do something you don't want to just to keep your friends happy.
I mean, if that's the way that they feel, then maybe they're not your friends.
And maybe they're not as cool as you thought they were.
And one last thing.
I'm not being paid to say this.
This is how I feel.
And if you think that makes me uncool then you're wrong.
Hello, Ben Seaver's residence.
Carol, it's your stupid boyfriend.
Shut up, Ben, just shut up.
Hang up the phone, Ben.
-Ben, is your mom home yet? -Nope.
I thought I heard her car.
That's Mike.
He washed his car.
He's driving it back and forth on the driveway to air-dry it.
She better hurry or we're gonna miss the start of that movie.
I don't get why you guys wanna spend Friday night at a movie when you could stay home with me on the best TV night of the week.
It's like this, Ben.
Every once in a while, your mom and I like to go out together just to celebrate the fact that we have three great kids.
Sure, Dad.
Besides, Tuesday night is the best TV night.
And, oh, Ben, this is a new sitter tonight, so please be kind to her, okay? I don't need a sitter.
We've been over that.
I just mean the guy taking out Carol cancelled so she can watch me.
Well, I hope I can catch the sitter.
CAROL: I'm on the phone, pea brain.
Hi, honey.
Hi, Ben.
TGIF.
Oh, you said it.
I just wanna put my feet up and relax.
-Mom, you forgot the movie.
-What movie? The one Dad's been looking forward to all week.
Well, it's okay, Ben.
We'll have just as much fun staying home with you tonight.
And Carol.
What happened to her date with Bobby Winnet? He's grounded.
But I didn't do anything.
It's CarolÂs boyfriend.
He got his third speeding ticket in six months.
Ha-ha.
All right, Bobby.
Um.
I mean, you know, somebody should speak to the boy.
[SIGHS.]
Talk about bad news.
Bobby's grounded, the date's cancelled, you're bummed.
We heard.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go shower.
Big plans tonight? No, just me and Eddie and Boner are gonna go hang out.
You're gonna shower for Eddie and Boner? [CHUCKLES.]
Come on, Dad, I'm showering because I might get lucky.
Define "get lucky.
" Um.
Well, you know, I might run into one of my teachers and I sure want to be clean for that.
Ten bucks says he's going trolling for chicks.
Okay, okay, Ben, here's your beans and weenies.
And, Carol, you get the macho meat beef.
And, Jason, here's your it-sure-tastes-like-chicken chicken.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hello? Yeah.
Mike, it's Eddie! MIKE: Take a message, I'm shaving.
What's he shaving? Hey, those two chin hairs can get kind of unruly, you know.
I'll tell him, Eddie.
Eddie says what's keeping you? There's a thousand vices out there with your name on them.
Yes, I'll have a talk with him.
Thank you.
Uh, Dad, there's no need for you to have a talk with me.
After the fine job you and Dad have done teaching me the proper values I don't think there's gonna be anything to worry about.
I mean, what can you do, lock me in my room? BOTH: Hmm.
-Hey.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
-I'll get it.
-Okay, so I'll see you guys at 1.
And there's no need at all for you guys to wait up for me.
So whose turn is it to wait up, yours or mine? So, like, hi.
Jason, you forgot to cancel the babysitter? I thought you did.
Trudy, I'm sorry, we changed our plans.
I'll run you home.
Oh, wow, I'm not allowed.
Excuse me? My mom and dad are out for the evening and I'm not allowed to be home alone.
Wait a minute here.
Let me get this straight.
My sitter needs a sitter? So, what do you guys wanna do? We could try Bowl Your Brains Out, -Again? -Then you think of something.
The youth center's having a teenage mixer and fish fry.
And you're having a breakdown.
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
We could park outside a drive-in and lip-read a movie.
That's good.
That's real good.
Come on, man, it's Swedish.
[ALL SPEAK IN SWEDISH.]
Roland Taylor.
-Roland, man, how you doing? -I'm good, Seaver.
-Yeah.
-Eddie, Boner, how's it going? Hey.
How's college? Forget college.
How's the co-ed dorms? BOTH: Ha-ha-ha.
-So, what have you been up to? Just picking up some pizzas for a little get-together.
You? Oh, big stuff, big stuff.
Yeah, we got some dates with some Swedish women tonight.
[BOTH SPEAK IN SWEDISH.]
So the night's working out for all of us.
-It's good to see you guys.
MIKE: You too.
What's he got going? Eight large pizzas.
That's 74.
55.
There's 80.
You keep the change.
[MIKE CLEARS THROAT.]
Hey, Roland, about this little get-together tonight.
It's just your standard young girls, heated pool, no parents, let's-get-crazy event.
Yo, Rolando.
Roland, Roland, let me give you a hand here.
Boner, help the man out.
Wait a minute.
Are you guys really so pathetic that you're practically begging to come to the party? -Yes.
-Roland, please.
Yes.
Okay.
The food's over there.
The drinks are over there, and the women.
What the heck, they're everywhere.
Hey, Roland.
Roland, so whose house is this, anyway? Beats me.
-Will you look at this place? -Yeah, I'm looking, man.
-Holy mackerel, Eddie.
-What? What? Over there by the piano.
Is that Lana from Dewey? Wait, Lana who? Lana "My daddy gave me a Porsche for my birthday" Faraday.
Oh, wow, that could be.
I've never been in the same room with her.
Oh, look, man.
And there's Henry and Peter.
Look, there's John Simpson.
Can you actually believe we're at the same party with these guys? -You're right.
Come on, we should go.
-No, no.
No, there is no reason why we cannot run with this crowd, right? -Yeah.
-Just stay cool, be loose.
Wow, would you guys take a look at this mama? Keep it cool, Bone.
Cool it, okay? Come on, this is a real classy bunch.
Excuse me.
Gentlemen, start your engines.
I gotta go to the john first.
Hey, hey.
Wait your turn, bozo.
Oh, sorry.
Did you guys notice something? Rich people go to the bathroom in groups.
Come on, man, didn't you know that? Come on.
Don't embarrass us in front of these people, Boner.
Excuse me, that chick wants me.
Get real, huh? She wants me.
Yeah, well, you guys discuss it, all right? -Uh, heh.
Hi.
-Hi.
Um, I'm sorry, but I just had to tell you that you look just like a movie star.
Really? Which one? Which one? Well, you know, that real sexy movie star.
-Rob Lowe? -Right.
No, no.
You're cute.
Yeah, well, it's a look.
So would you like to go to the john with me? [LAUGHS.]
No, no, no, that's okay.
You go.
Oh, I'm sorry, you probably think that I'm after your stash.
Huh? It's my treat.
You are cool, aren't you? Um.
Cool.
Yeah.
RHONDA: Our turn.
-Uh.
Listen, I gotta go to the bathroom.
-Right.
I don't mean the bathroom.
The bathroom.
Rhonda, your parents are on the phone, long distance.
Okay.
Don't go away.
Mike Seaver.
-Right? -Yeah, Lana.
Lana, you have no idea how nice it is to see you.
Oh, nice to see you too.
Look, Lana, don't freak, but there is cocaine at this party.
Oh, I should hope so.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're funny.
Don't freak.
That's great.
That's great.
Ha-ha-ha.
Guys.
Guys, do you have any idea what kind of a party this is? -Oh, yeah, it's a great one.
-It's not, man, it's not.
Listen, there's cocaine at this party, right there in that bathroom.
-Yeah.
-Wow.
So rich people don't necessarily go to the bathroom together after all.
Come on, guys, we're not really interested in cocaine, are we? -No, I'm not.
-Not me.
Let's just get the hell out of here.
-But I am interested in Lana.
Ha-ha-ha.
-Oh, yeah.
Lana? She does cocaine too, man.
I thought she was cool.
Whoa, Mikey, you know, a lot of cool people use cocaine.
Eddie, that stuff is killing people.
It's not gonna hurt us if we use it just this one time with Lana and her female friends.
Yeah.
I'm sure that everybody who's been screwed up by that they felt the same way the first time.
Yeah.
And you're saying we're that wishy-washy? Yeah.
Would you look at the man? I rest my case.
Come on, let's split.
Mike, everyone's gonna think we're weenies if we go.
They won't, man.
Look, none of these people even know us.
We can just slip out of here and who will know? Hey, Seaver.
I found six more Dewey Hooters here tonight.
-Hi, Mike.
-Hey, Seaver.
Hi.
Oh, good.
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV.]
[GUNFIRE OVER TV.]
Who wants some fresh-from-the-oven mock apple pie? [IN UNISON.]
Shh! -Honey, mock apple? -Sure.
-What did I miss? -Plenty.
The Colombian cartel has these mules running a half ton of uncut snow into the Miami pipeline.
We're talking a street value of 16 million big ones here.
Sounds low to me.
Well, I got a great idea.
Why don't we watch a Disney movie on tape.
JASON: Yeah.
-Mom, not in front of Trudy.
How about Cinderella with all those cute little mice? When we had mice last year, you didn't think they were so cute.
Maggie, exactly what am I eating here? This tastes like a soggy cracker or something.
[HORN HONKING.]
That's my dad.
Well, Trudy, it's been nice having you as our guest.
Guest? Does that mean you're gonna try to get out of paying me? Um, um, um-- Of course not.
Jason? Oh, Jason, yeah, right, sure.
Here, Trudy.
Thanks.
Anytime you want me to babysit you guys, just let me know.
Okay.
Now, this was my favorite movie when I was a little girl.
Oh, boy, am I tired.
Yeah, I'm one tired little puppy.
CAROL: Good night, Dad.
BEN: Good night.
-Good night, Mom.
MAGGIE: Good night.
[SIGHS.]
Heh.
You know, when I was 10, if I knew half of what Ben knows now I'd have been dangerous.
Honey, Ben is dangerous.
-Hi, Mike.
-Hi.
We're dead.
We're dead.
-Everyone's gonna think we're weenies.
-Not necessarily.
I got an idea.
We don't have to say we don't wanna try cocaine.
All we have to say is we have to be home before 10.
[LAUGHS.]
What's so funny? I was thinking how upset my mom and dad would be if they knew I was having this party.
I'll bet.
Well, see, it's their coke.
Now, where were we? Um.
Uh, look.
-I just wanted to say that-- -That I'm Eddie and that's Boner up there.
Hi.
Well, let's make this a group toot.
-Lana? -Eddie? Seav, Seav, you can be cool or you can be a wimp here, huh? Rah, rah.
The hot tub is looking pretty good.
It'll look better once we visit the bathroom.
Don't mind if I do.
Oh, hot-tubbing with Lana Faraday.
I can't stand it.
It's lucky I'm wearing my trunks.
I ran out of clean underwear.
Shall we? Don't blow this for us, Mike, huh? [CHUCKLES.]
Is something wrong? Um.
Look, I'm just not in the mood, okay? He's just trying to get all the drugs out of his system.
Eddie, please.
If you're gonna have a discussion, could we use the john? Just wait a minute, okay? Now, what's going on here? Um.
Look, I've never done coke before.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
For a second there, I thought you guys were narcs.
Especially the strange-looking one.
Thank you.
Look, if it's your first time, we'll be gentle with you.
-First time here.
-First time, first time.
Hey.
I don't wanna do coke, okay? [BOTH LAUGHING.]
Hey, come on, what's wrong with that? Um.
I'm gonna go check on the hot tub.
I'll come with you.
[LANA AND RHONDA LAUGHING.]
Excuse us, boys.
Guys, I feel like a jerk.
Let's get out of here.
Are you guys coming or what? Oh, Mike, she's checking on the hot tub.
Eddie, can we go? Let's put it to a vote, huh? Look, we came together, we should leave together.
I thought you guys were my friends.
All right, you guys can stay or you can go, but I'm leaving.
I think I wanna stay, Mike.
Boner? Mike, friends don't make friends do something they don't want to.
Exactly.
You know I never thought Seaver would wimp out like that.
What? I'm confused, man.
We've been running with Mikey since the first grade.
We know he's not a wimp, he's cool.
So are you in or are you out, boys? [INSTRUMENTAL "AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL" PLAYING OVER TV.]
[HUMMING.]
[TURNS TV OFF.]
Well, 2:15 a.
m.
That's nice, Mike.
-Dad.
-Mike.
It is Mike, isn't it? No, it couldn't be.
My Mike was supposed to be home at 1a.
m.
-Uh-- Dad, I know I missed my curfew.
-Oh.
Well, you admit you have one.
That's progress.
Hey, Dad, isn't tonight the time when we turn the clocks back for the time change? No, Mike, that's in October, which is when you're gonna be grounded till unless you give me a good explanation.
-Okay-- -No, wait, let me get comfortable here.
You know how I love these stories.
So, what'll it be tonight, Mike? You were-- Oh, you saved some lives I bet, huh? Wait, wait.
I bet you ran into those darn gypsies again.
Hmm? [SIGHS.]
Are you okay? Dad.
Can I talk to you as a friend and not as a guy who could make my life miserable? What's wrong, Mike? Dad, I gotta know that what I tell you won't be used against me.
Okay, what is it? So I have your word that whatever I say, you're not-- Mike, just say it, okay? Okay.
Me and Eddie and Boner we ended up at a party where everybody was doing cocaine.
Cocaine? Mike-- Remember, you're not my dad, you're a friend.
Cocaine? Really? Yeah, and if you didn't do it, you were a wimp.
Cocaine? Dad, I've never felt so much pressure in my life.
-And? -Even from Boner and Eddie.
-And? -Dad, it was like I didn't have a choice.
-And? -I didn't do it.
You didn't do it, as in you did not? I didn't do the stupid drug.
Well, that's great, Mike, that's.
That's wonderful.
I always figured you'd make that right choice if you had to face that, but I'm relieved, Mike.
Dad, Dad, that's not it.
What? Dad, I've been thinking about this since the party.
I have been driving and driving-- Mike, Mike you did the right thing.
Yeah, that's what kills me.
I don't understand.
Dad, I know I did the right thing.
It's just that I feel like.
Like everybody's gonna laugh at me.
And some of those people did laugh.
Mike, you're never gonna be able to please everybody.
Yeah, well, tonight I didn't please anybody.
Except yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, what you did tonight took real courage, Mike.
I admire you.
-Thanks.
-You sleep on it.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, Mike.
Thanks, Dad.
Um.
Eddie and Boner called for you.
What? They said they didn't go to the bathroom and they don't want to.
Well, what do you know? What does that mean? A lot.
What a world.
[PIANO PLAYING.]
[CHATTERING.]
Hi.
You know, a lot of people will tell you drugs are cool.
The same people who are saying that everybody's doing something.
So, what's your problem? Well, they're wrong.
Everybody's not doing drugs, and you don't have to try them to be cool.
Look, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your lives.
But I am telling you that you don't have to do something you don't want to just to keep your friends happy.
I mean, if that's the way that they feel, then maybe they're not your friends.
And maybe they're not as cool as you thought they were.
And one last thing.
I'm not being paid to say this.
This is how I feel.
And if you think that makes me uncool then you're wrong.