Lethal Weapon (2016) s02e15 Episode Script

1 Our diamond rings are right over here.
Yes, ma'am, we'll take care of that special order for you.
You'd like to take a look, let me show you.
Yeah, I'd like to look at this one.
SALESMAN: Of course.
- The best choice.
- MAN: I'm not sure of the quality.
SALESMAN: Yes (LAUGHS) MAN: It's beautiful.
WOMAN: Yeah, that's really pretty.
Mm-hmm.
(SMACKING LIPS) You think this looks good? Try the Audi dealer on Wilshire.
Hand to God, best Cronuts this side of the 405.
Change your life.
Danish? - No.
- ‭Uh, yeah, no.
- Thank you, but this isn't Costco.
- ‭Herb I-I-I'm trying, I'm trying.
That's why I can't find the deck chairs.
Oh, shoot.
Got some runners.
- (GUNSHOT) - (CUSTOMERS SCREAM) On the ground now! ROBBER 2: Wallets, watches, jewelry in the bag.
- Let's go! Let's go! - In the bag! If you do not want a gun in your face, - hand your watches and jewelry - Let's go, everybody.
Let's go, come on.
If you don't want a bullet in your brain, do not Don't move! Stay on the ground.
Everything in the bag.
Right now.
That means you, beautiful.
Ring, too.
No.
Are you crazy? This is my wedding ring.
Give me the damn ring! ‭No! Give him the ring.
Was I talking to you? - Don't you have enough already? - I wasn't talking to you.
- Take it easy! - I was not talking to you! Shut your damn mouth! - (GUNSHOT) - (SCREAMS) Next one goes between the dimples.
(ROBBER GRUNTING) What? I come prepared.
You crazy bitch! (HORN BLARES) Okay, that I wasn't prepared for.
MURTAUGH: Look up in the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Super Harper! Wow.
Looks like you two have a really special relationship.
Yeah.
(LAUGHS) It takes hard work, you know? But this is the reward, you know? Yeah, yeah, I feel you.
Makes me wish Duncan's grandpa was as involved as you.
Grandpa? I'm 32 and I can barely keep up.
You're a hero.
Oh.
Monkey bars are calling.
Enjoy the rest of your day, sir.
(QUIETLY): Sir? TRISH: All right.
I'm back! (LAUGHS) I'm sorry.
My boss is on a warpath because of this merger.
Yes, he is.
(LAUGHS) Roger? - What happened? - That haircut just called me Harper's grandpa.
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
(LAUGHS) Your first "grandpa.
" What do you mean, "first"? Well, it's not out of the question.
There are grandfathers your age.
But 52 isn't what it used to be.
Right, baby? No, it's not.
Someone needs to tell that to the haircut.
Oh, okay.
You want to go on play on the jungle gym with your dad? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Come on.
Oh, my goodness.
What are you doing, Roger? Don't worry about what I'm doing.
Come on, we're gonna go have fun.
Me and you.
We're gonna go in there in the slide.
- Yeah.
Ow.
Ooh, that hurt.
- Sir, sir? That's actually made for children.
Let me get in first.
Yep.
(LAUGHS) That was easy.
All right, here we go.
One, two, three.
Whoa.
There she is! ‭Hey! Whoa hey, hey.
(WHOOPS) Trish, I'm stuck.
- (BANGING) - Oh, my gosh, Roger.
Can you slide yourself out? What do you think "stuck" means? Sir? Sir? I'm a firefighter.
Hang tight.
‭I'm stuck.
I'll call it in.
Your grandpa's gonna be just fine.
MURTAUGH: I'm-I'm not the grandpa.
Uh Hey, Trish? Huh? Is anybody watching? Nope.
No, nobody's watching.
Good.
Let's just keep this between us, all right? - Morning, ladies.
- ‭Hey.
(WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (SCREAMING) Hey, I need you to slap me.
As much as I'd love to, why? I don't know, something's off in my game, and I feel like my reflexes need to be tested, so just go ahead and slap me.
Riggs, I'm a medical professional.
I'm not gonna Thank you.
Would you like me to slap you again? Or would you like to tell me what's going on? Because I am good with either.
(SIGHS) I don't know.
I'm shooting whiskey bottles this morning, right? And I miss one, and I never miss one.
Wait.
You were shooting at bottles? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's, you know I-I shoot at the whiskey that I want to drink.
It's kind of part of my process.
What if you don't have any bottles? Well, then I, like, shove a thumbtack into my finger.
Or sometimes a paper clip under the nail.
That usually holds me over.
Riggs, that's-that's really concerning.
Yeah, but effective.
(CLICKS TONGUE) Is it possible that you feel broken because you're not drinking? You mean, like how Popeye needs his spinach? No.
No, no.
More like more like, this newfound clarity is unnerving, and-and that's why you feel off.
No, no, I like the Popeye analogy.
The alcohol is what gave me my edge.
Of course.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Thanks, Doc.
(DOOR OPENS) Beautiful day for a crime scene.
MURTAUGH: You seem chipper.
And sober.
I'm glad to see that, uh, support group I recommended is working out.
No, that was garbage.
I stopped going to that.
Too much complaining.
You know? Besides, there was only a two-cookie limit.
I should've known you couldn't cut it.
You are biologically incapable of following the rules.
No, see, I choose not to follow stupid rules.
There's a difference.
Besides, I got it under control.
That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.
Really? The most ridiculous? Well, did you hear the one about the guy that got stuck on a slide for an hour and a half? 'Cause that was pretty crazy.
Trish told you about that? Yeah, she thought that you were gonna be late.
So, tell me, Rog, the Jaws of Life how are they, up close and personal? - BOWMAN: Morning! - ‭I'll cut your nose off - if you tell a soul.
- Our victim's name is Dan McTeer, and in a shocking twist, he's also our bad guy.
Oh, beautiful.
- I'm going back home.
- This way.
He and a buddy ripped off this jewelry store.
High-tech stuff, took out security cameras, alarms.
And, uh Ah, let me guess.
- He was poisoned.
- ‭SCORSESE: I wish.
Hit by a delivery truck whilst fleeing.
Complete waste of my talents.
Did the truck shoot him, too? That would be her.
Bystander packing a .
357 Magnum in her pocketbook.
SCORSESE: And we already bagged the weapon, so it's, like, I don't know.
- Challenge me? - ‭MURTAUGH: Okay, well, I'll take the witnesses.
Riggs, why don't you get an official statement from the shooter? Unless it's too hard for you to follow the rules.
Oh, I'll be fine.
Let me know if you get stuck.
(SIREN CHIRPING) All right.
Name.
Ruthie Krumholz.
Spelled exactly like it sounds.
Address.
Home is where you park it, honey.
You don't have an address? Just put "The Open Road.
" Phone number.
(LAUGHING): Oh.
So Uncle Sam can listen in on calls with my chiropodist? Nice try.
(SIGHS) All right.
Okay.
There we go.
Hey.
Hey, what do you think you're doing? I'm grabbing your registration.
You're entering my home without probable cause.
That's unlawful search and seizure.
Well, you're being a pain in my ass, and I'm trying to prove a point to my partner.
So this is keeping me from freaking out.
Oh, you are in for it now, bub.
Alan Dershowitz owes me a favor.
(DIALING) Oh! What? Look what you did! What the hell is wrong with you? I did not see that coming.
Hot off the presses.
The invoice for my RV repairs.
Ah.
The department will, uh, take care of that.
Nope.
Damage was done during an illegal search.
They say it's on you.
(CLEARS THROAT) "Faulty transmission, leaky gaskets" wait.
That's not me.
Well, I disagree.
Classic he said, she said.
I'll pay for your door.
That's it.
I'm not leaving.
Fine.
Get comfortable.
Don't test me, Detective.
I once staged an anti-Nixon sit-in at the White House for six days.
Kissinger still calls me on my birthday.
Bowman.
What do we have on the robbery? Um, I pulled security footage from the area around the crime scene.
(SNEEZES) What the is there a cat in here? (BLOWS NOSE) Ignore her.
Uh, this is from the traffic cam.
There's our robber making a getaway.
But we can't get an angle on the plate.
RUTHIE: I know the plate.
You do? This morning at the jewelry store, I tried to park next to that schmuck, but he was over the line.
I couldn't fit in.
I had to circle the block for ten minutes.
Ugh, hate when that happens.
I wrote down the plate to report him.
(PAPER TEARING) (CLEARS THROAT) Thank you.
You pay for my RV? That's extortion.
Is it working? If it pans out, then, yes, I will pay for your RV.
Hmm.
And a hotel.
That was my home you mangled.
(CHUCKLES) It's not gonna happen.
You're just gonna eat it? One night.
One night.
Was that so hard? RIGGS: She demanded that I put her in a hotel with a heated pool.
Who the hell needs a heated pool? Right? I-Isn't that what bathtubs are for? Riggs, why didn't you just tell her no? I tried.
It's like ever since I quit drinking, I've lost my edge.
Your edge.
(BRAKES SQUEAL) Riggs, you don't need booze to be crazy.
This coming from the guy who thought he could fit in a slide.
Come on, Rog, face it.
We're off our game.
Don't lump me in with you.
I'm operating at peak performance.
Hmm.
MURTAUGH: There's our thief.
(ENGINE REVS) Who's he meeting? - (ENGINE STARTS) - MURTAUGH: It's a drop.
- Let's roll.
- (TIRES SCREECHING) (SIREN CHIRPING) Hands on the trunk! (CAR DOORS CLOSE) Hands on the trunk.
You, step out of the car now.
(ENGINE REVVING) ("SABOTAGE" BY BEASTIE BOYS PLAYING) Rog, what are you doing? I got this! Rog! (TIRES SQUEAL) Aah! I can't stand it I know you planned it I'm-a set it straight, this Watergate I can't stand rockin' when I'm in here LAPD! Your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear So while you sit back and wonder why I'm a little off my game.
It's a whole Popeye spinach thing.
OPERATOR: 911.
What's your emergency? Uh, yeah, is this the number for backup? I'm tellin' y'all it's sabotage (HORN BLARING) So, so, so Hey! So listen up 'Cause you can't say nothin' You'll shut me down with the push of your button? But, yo, I'm out and I'm gone I'll tell you now I keep it on and on (GRUNTS) (SIRENS WAILING) 'Cause what you see you might not get Car 419 in pursuit of a black Mercedes.
Schemin' on a thing that's a mirage I'm tryin' to tell you now, it's sabotage (SHOUTS) Get out of the car! Hands where we can see 'em! RIGGS: Rog! You're alive! (LAUGHS) (WHOOPS) I'm more than alive! I feel unstoppable! Why What the hell? I did not see that coming either.
Neat trick, sending a self-driving car for the drop-off.
But you know and I know someone had to be controlling it.
RIGGS: Perhaps, although we could have a Knight Rider situation.
That's a good point.
Are we dealing with a Knight Rider kind of situation? Uh, I'm not sure what a Knight Rider is, but I got no idea who owns the car.
What the hell did he just say? What the hell did you just? - You don't know who KITT is? - ‭Hasselhoff? Do they work here or? I don't even know how to respond to that.
Look, Beck, you've pulled robberies for hire across the Southwest.
Who hired you this time? Did you just flinch? Did he just flinch? Mm-hmm, that was definitely a flinch.
Look, man, I don't want any trouble.
I-I saw you on that car.
You're crazy.
You're damn right I'm crazy.
And you keep not talking, you're gonna just see how loco I can get.
I told you, I don't know anything.
Where's my phone book?! - Is there a phone? - Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, tiger, tiger, tiger, let me, uh, let me take a run at him.
Just, you know, just ease there.
(RIGGS SIGHS HEAVILY) Armed robbery.
(WHISTLES) What is that, three to nine? Look, I get my gigs on the Dark Web.
Clients keep us out of the loop on purpose.
In case you end up here.
Yeah.
I didn't even know the guy I pulled the job with.
The buyer took care of timing, drop-off, even hacked the store's security.
All without showing his face.
But you got paid online.
So don't you have his account information? ‭No.
Bitcoin's anonymous.
It's kind of the whole point of the Dark Web.
Wait, do you not know what that is? (SCOFFS) Of course I know what that is.
- I don't know.
- ‭The Dark Web? It's the black market of the Internet drugs, guns, murder all anonymous, all for sale.
Maybe it's an age thing.
We're only six years apart.
And why do you know about the Dark Web and I don't? Korean skin care.
- (CLEARS THROAT) - Look, not all ointments are exactly legal in the States.
Why not? What's in 'em? People? What's important here is that we know we're looking for someone who's tech-savvy.
With flawless skin.
BOWMAN: Hey.
So, the driverless car is registered through a bunch of shell corporations to one Herb Weiss.
MURTAUGH: Hmm.
That's the husky fella from the jewelry store.
BOWMAN: His cloud-based data security firm recently declared bankruptcy.
He's up to his nostrils in debt.
Tech-savvy and desperate.
But why would Herb pretend to be a customer in his own jewelry heist? Bowman, bring Herb in for questioning.
You and Riggs, go see if anyone at the heist noticed anything off about him.
Why are you smiling? 'Cause Riggs is gonna hate this.
Oh, Marty, glad you're here.
You can help me fix the pay-per-view.
You can't order pay-per-view.
Not without your help.
- (PRESSING REMOTE BUTTONS) - Oh, no.
What the hell is all this? Just a few necessities.
Three bags of gourmet jelly beans? I have undiagnosed low blood sugar.
I I'm not paying for all of this.
Honey, you need to unclench.
Relax.
Put on a robe.
We'll watch Beaches.
(SIGHS) Okay.
All right.
The couple you saved at the heist yesterday See, it's stuck on the hotel welcome channel.
Hey! Hey.
Hey.
We think the husband's in on it.
Did you notice anything unusual about him today? Only that he and that trophy wife hadn't schtupped in at least a year.
Trouble in paradise.
What, they told you that? Intuition.
I read people.
Like you.
Your eyes keep darting over to the minibar.
How many days sober? I'm guessing seven.
- Ten.
- ‭Woof.
I've been there.
So right now you're probably feeling, like, a little foggy? Not quite yourself? - I'm fine.
- ‭Yeah.
Oh, honey, look at you.
You're not fine.
(CHUCKLES) ‭It's my look.
Besides, I got a system.
- Ah.
- ‭Mm.
A system? Let me guess.
Pretend you got it all under control and then blow off anyone who tells you otherwise.
I'm not doing this with you.
And circle gets the square.
Word of advice, kid, one drunk to another: systems work.
Until they don't.
No more room service! What are we watching? Tom Cruise over here wants me to cut together a video of him riding on the self-driving car.
Oh.
Awesome.
Can I see? MURTAUGH: No, because not one police car caught it on their dash-cam.
SCORSESE: Hey.
For my generation, if it's not on film, it never happened.
Ah So-so when can we talk to this Herb? He went AWOL.
Yeah, have a look at this.
Herb just upped his wife's life insurance policy.
Hmm.
So maybe the heist was staged to off the wife, collect on the insurance policy.
SCORSESE: Make it look like a robbery gone bad.
Very noir.
BOWMAN: But here's the kicker.
The same anonymous account that paid for the robbery just made another payment.
So Herb just hired himself another killer.
Good job.
TO CLARIFY: good job, Bowman.
Huge disappointment, Scorsese.
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE) MURTAUGH: There's the wife, Riggs.
Be gentle.
Mrs.
Weiss? You're the detectives from the jewelry store.
Is there something wrong? We believe your husband's trying to have you killed.
Herb? No.
That's not possible.
Yeah, well, between your new life insurance policy and his financial troubles Financial troubles? Look, I'm sorry, this sounds a little bit crazy.
Rog, sniper! MURTAUGH: Or just some kid.
God, you just ripped my leggings.
Uh What is wrong with you? Been a little off lately, but - I could have sworn - Oh! - somebody was trying to kill you.
- ‭Well, next time you have a thought, please call our lawyer.
- Wait! Don't open that door! - (CAR ALARM CHIRPS) (DEVICE BEEPING) (CAR ALARM BLARING) I knew somebody was trying to kill you.
Please, tell me someone got that on tape.
$10 million? He took out a $10 million life insurance policy on me? AVERY: We'll find Herb and whoever he hired - to plant that bomb.
- The whole department's looking, but do you know where we could find him? I'm sorry, I don't.
And he never told you about the insurance or bankruptcy? He didn't like me to ask about that stuff.
- God, I feel so stupid.
- GREG: Mrs.
Weiss, I came as soon as I got the call.
Greg Antonetti.
I'm the Weiss family's attorney.
I was hoping that Herb told Greg more than he told me.
Do you know where we could find him? ALI: Greg, the bastard just tried to blow up my car.
There's a condo in Camarillo.
He used it for, um ALI: For other women.
Of course.
AVERY: I'll send a squad car to the condo.
But in the meantime, you should remain in protective custody.
MURTAUGH: I know a great hotel.
You'll love it.
Heated pool.
RUTHIE: This is prejudice.
Ageist, sexist.
Yeah, tell me something, sir.
How do you sleep at night? Mr.
Riggs? Finally.
What's going on here? I'm being unlawfully evicted.
We caught her skinny-dipping in the lanai pool.
It was empty.
We've asked her to vacate the premises.
But she's refusing.
I know my rights, trust me.
I've been to bed with at least two Supreme Court justices.
Stop talking.
Could you guys excuse us for just a few minutes? - Ah.
- ‭Thank you so much.
Yeah.
What the hell were you thinking? I wasn't.
That's the whole point of skinny-dipping.
Just floating free, naked as the day God made you.
All that baggage weighing you down doesn't feel so heavy.
Y-You should try it.
Pack it up 'cause you're out of here.
RV's not ready till tomorrow.
Where we going? Oh, we're not going anywhere.
I'm going home.
- Bye.
- ‭Oh - I see.
- ‭(DOOR OPENS) Well, you know, the streets should be friendly to an old lady like me.
I took a Tae Bo class in '96, yeah.
I'm I'm sure I'll be fine.
(TV CHIRPING) DEREK: Who wants to see a dunk? - I do! - ‭Huh? CHILDREN: One more time! (WHOOPING, CHEERING) You know, anyone can dunk in a bounce house.
I sunk a bomb into a Dumpster in one shot.
And that was just yesterday.
TRISH: Roger, enough.
I don't like all this risky behavior.
And what does it prove, honey? That I'm not a grandpa stuck in a tube.
Well, you know what, I prefer a grandpa in a tube than a husband in a hospital.
CHILDREN: Derek! Derek! Derek! Derek! Roger, don't even think it stop.
Whatever it is, stop it.
Can't a guy bounce in a house to impress his daughter? This is silly.
(CHEERING) CHILDREN: One more! One more! One more! One more! Roger.
Back on the horse.
Good for you, you know? Enough talk, Derek.
Pass the rock.
- (BALL SQUEAKS) - All right, kids, pay attention.
Now, this is a take on the Dee Brown no-look one-hander from the '91 Slam Dunk Contest.
Are you ready? Here we go.
(LOUD POP, AIR HISSING) (KIDS SCREAMING) DEREK: Oh, my God, hey, the kids! - Uh-oh.
- Hey, hey.
- Oh.
- (SCREAMING) (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) TRISH: Derek, you got 'em? Here you go, easy, easy.
Careful, careful on your way out.
- You kids all right? - (APPLAUSE) Roger? (BALL SQUEAKS) (AIR HISSING) MAN: What are you thinking, buddy? You see? Now, that's how we do it.
(BALL SQUEAKS) (DOOR OPENS) Ooh.
Whoa.
Not bad.
I spent three ecstatic months with Gregg Allman in a spot just like it.
All right.
You can have the couch, I'll take a chair.
I do sleep au buffo.
The chair outside.
Wow.
Ten days and he tumbles off the wagon.
No, no, no, those are not for drinking, they're for shooting.
Oh? Why is this one open? 'Cause you ruined my system.
- Uh, me? - ‭Mm.
All I said was it wouldn't work forever, and it didn't.
(SIGHS) 'Cause you know everything, right? No, I-I know enough.
Mm.
Well, I know why you got cuts on your fingers.
What's your poison? Razors? Office supplies.
Classy.
I was a stovetop girl myself.
Still got the callouses.
- Sounds painful.
- ‭Yeah.
Isn't that the point? Honey, I'm not judging.
Do what you gotta do.
Drink, slice your fingers, shoot bottles.
Make yourself hurt so you don't have to hurt inside.
But sooner or later, Marty, that's the hurt that gets you.
It's late.
- I'm gonna go crash.
- ‭Good.
Take this with you.
(BOTTLES RATTLING) What am I supposed to do with this? Dress each one up like a different president.
What do I care? I can't have it in the house.
(SIGHS) And get some sleep, Marty.
You look like crap.
(MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) (BOTTLES RATTLING) (CLINKING) Don't look at me like that.
I'm a grown man.
If I want a drink, I can have a drink.
Look, it's not even for me.
All right? This is for the people of Los Angeles.
I've lost my edge, so this is mandatory.
Understand.
So, what should I do? Should I should I put my sobriety over the safety of the public? Yeah? All right, fine.
Fine.
There it is.
If something bad happens today, I just want you to know it's on you.
All right? (TRUCK DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) (ENGINE STARTS) Time for a swim.
Eyes open, boys.
You're gonna want to see this.
MAN: Ow! MURTAUGH (SNEERING): Firemen.
Always want to be the big hero.
You see how he dove back in to save the kids? Those kids were literally suffocating in that bounce house.
I had it under control, all right? But, no, Derek wanted all the glory.
Did Derek make you dunk on a child-size hoop? Did Derek make you jump on a driverless car? Indirectly.
Oh, my gosh.
Baby, look at me.
- Look at me.
- ‭(SIGHS) I know you don't like feeling old, but this is not how you deal with it.
- It's not like anyone got hurt.
- No, gosh.
Not yet, Roger.
But if you keep taking these unnecessary risks, you will.
I'm not doing anything that Riggs doesn't do almost on a daily.
Riggs does not have a family that relies on him.
Yeah, well, I didn't do anything I can't handle.
Okay, Roger, enough.
Listen to yourself.
You are using Riggs as a template for normal behavior.
Oh, my God, you might be right.
Baby, don't let your pride take you away from this family.
Promise me you'll let it go.
You look how I feel, Bowman.
(GROANS) I did something bad, and I'm ready to face the consequences.
Like "murder" bad, or bad like you ate Avery's lunch by accident? Look, I've been up all night on the Dark Web trying to track the hits Herb ordered on his wife.
Somehow I ended up in a terrifying Russian chat room, and-and I hired someone.
What's her name? What? No, no, no, no, no, I No, I paid someone to hack into the LTE hot spot in Herb's car and record off his hands-free mic.
I just thought it would help us find him.
And that's what you're worried about? I did, like, seven illegal things - before I got here this morning.
- ‭Really? All right, what do we got? (CLEARS THROAT) I had Vasily make a tape, and you need to see this.
HERB (ON COMPUTER): Please, just tell me who hired you, man.
I'll give you whatever you want.
BOWMAN: That's Herb.
- MAN: Shut up and drive.
- Who's that? - No idea.
- HERB: I will, I will.
Just, please, just leave my wife out of it please.
(GUNSHOT) MAN: Next one's not a warning.
Drive! So, Herb's not trying to kill Ali.
Someone's going after them both.
Tell Rog to meet me at the hotel.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) - Can I help you? - ALI: It's okay.
Greg, what are you doing here? I have something for you.
Your prenup.
I thought you might want to look it over bef - (SILENCED GUNSHOTS) - (GASPING) (ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES) RIGGS: Ali? We're too late.
Damn it.
Hey, it's not your fault.
I'm gonna fix this once and for all.
What the hell you looking at? So, someone hired bad guys off the Dark Web to kidnap Herb and Ali.
We don't know who, why, or where.
Certainly not our best work.
Hey.
You okay? - Never better.
- ‭Yeah, well, that bottle's gonna make an awful small target.
Who said anything about shooting it? Hey.
So, the good news is I got the private GPS data off Herb's car.
Okay, and what's the bad news? I may have committed just a touch of treason.
All right, where are they now? A hunting cabin.
Angeles Forest.
(MUFFLED PLEAS) (LIGHTER CLINKS OPEN) Hey! Hey! Are you crazy? Hey, listen, Tiny.
How about you do your job and I do mine, eh? (VEHICLE APPROACHING) What's that? Mr.
Bell-bottoms? Hey, kid, get out of here.
I'm looking for my cat.
Well, go look somewhere else.
ALI: Help! Somebody please help! Help me, please! What the hell am I stepping in? Smells like gasoline.
And lots of it.
I'm gonna take upstairs.
(CAT MEOWING) Shh, quiet.
(CAT MEOWS) Shh.
(MUFFLED YELLING) (MUFFLED): Oh, God.
All right.
All right.
I-I thought he was gonna kill me.
Ah.
How'd you yell for help? Well, the gag was loose.
Can you please untie me? Who tied you up? Herb, my husband.
Mm, wrong answer.
Herb was kidnapped.
You know, the bruises are a nice touch.
Very convincing.
So, was it for the life insurance or because you hated him? Can it be both? Ah.
That is good.
(YELLS) (GRUNTING) (GROANS, GRUNTS) - (MEOWS) - MURTAUGH (WHISPERING): Quiet.
- Bad kitty.
- (GUNSHOTS) (GROANS) (GRUNTING) (YELLS) (GRUNTING) (YELLING) (GUNSHOT) (HISSING) That's not gasoline.
Oh, that's not good.
(MUFFLED YELLING) Herb.
We got to get out of here.
(GUNSHOT) You know, you might want to try and lose some weight.
- Okay.
Let's get out of here.
- ‭(GRUNTING) Clear the area.
The place might blow.
(GRUNTS) BOY: Hey, mister.
Did you see my cat in there? Yeah, and he almost got me shot.
Hey, hey, hey.
Where are you going? You can't go in there.
- But I have to get Mr.
Bell-bottoms.
- Look, kid, do you know how dangerous it is to run into a building that's filled with gasoline and propane? You got a phone? (COUGHS) Here, kitty, kitty.
I don't even like cats.
- (MEOWS) - Hey.
Hey, buddy, come here.
(GLASS TINKLES) Son of a (DISTORTED YELLING) Ooh! Kid, tell me you got that on tape.
(LAUGHS) I want to see some grandpa do that.
(LAUGHS) Roger, I saw the video.
Dude, you looked badass.
(CHUCKLES) That's what I'm talking about.
(LAUGHING): Oh, yes.
We just hit 500 views.
Oh, yeah.
Doubt me now, Scorsese? So, okay, where was I? The-the hit man just pulled out the lighter.
I love this part.
Right, so there I was, air thick with propane and danger, the cabin was about to explode, but Mr.
Bell-bottoms was counting on me to save him.
So I scooped him up in my arms.
I made peace with death and then I jump.
Now, would a lesser man have taken the door? Maybe.
But Roger Mayfield Murtaugh never walks when he can fly.
(LAUGHTER) Roger Mayfield Murtaugh may never walk again.
Oh, hey, baby.
Um, so-so, how much of that did you hear? Enough to know that you chose to put yourself in danger after you promised me you wouldn't.
Well, it really wasn't that dangerous.
And, besides, it's just a hairline fracture.
Well, I hope you can get yourself home.
Oh, come on.
Trish, hey.
Let me explain.
Here for the free bear claws? Damn, I only saw the crullers.
Oh, here.
Final invoice for my RV.
I told the mechanic I was dying.
He gave me a discount.
Well, I appreciate that.
Don't mention it.
Hell of a piece you got there.
Oh, thank you very much.
I just took it for a spin and got my edge back.
And I didn't even have a drink.
Looks like I'm fixed.
(CHUCKLES) Sure you are, hon.
No, I'm not letting you ruin this.
Listen, fine, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Fine.
What? You had a good day.
I'm happy for you.
But until you let go of everything else, of all that pain you're holding onto, you'll never be free.
I'm plenty free.
Mm, trust me.
You're not.
Lady, I live in a trailer at the beach.
Come on.
And still, not free.
But I hope some day you are.
Adios, Marty.
See you when I see you.
(ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES) I was half expecting flowers.
I thought about it.
But, uh, I wanted to be honest.
So this isn't an apology.
Trish for the first time in a very long time, I've felt young again.
Alive.
And I don't feel that I need to apologize for that.
So, you don't feel alive when you're at home? - That's not fair.
- ‭You know what's not fair, Roger? You running into a building that's about to explode! That's not fair.
You know I love this family more than anything.
- Then stop risking it, Roger.
- How? You want me to retire? Get a desk job? Oh, so now we're gonna blame the job? I have been married to a cop for 20 years.
This isn't the job.
This is you.
You making danger for yourself.
You don't know what it's like out in the field.
What about here? Hmm? When I got that call that you were in the hospital, Roger, I was right back there in that night - Yeah.
Two years ago.
- two years ago when I almost lost you.
I need you to tell me that this reckless behavior will end.
I can't.
(SCOFFS) Okay.
Then, until you can, you can sleep on the couch.
Come on, Trish.
Is this what you really want? If I have to learn to live without you, I might as well start practicing now.
All right.
But you be careful what you wish for.
("WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND" BY GREYHOUNDS PLAYING) I try as hard as I can But I can't seem to understand Even though you know what you want, baby You can't tell me right up front I try to search for the answer Hidden in your secret codes (CAR HORN HONKING) Why do you always say yes Freedom feels good, doesn't it? What the hell are you doing? What ever thats all I see when I see you I'm not seeing you What are you doing here? Like I said, home is where you parking, honey.
Got to park somewhere.
No, no, no.
You are not parking that here.
Let me just slip out my dungarees I'll come join you.
No, I changed my mind.
I'm going inside.
Night Marty.
Goodnight Ruthie