Lost In Space (1965) s02e15 Episode Script

[ Man Narrating .]
Last week, as you recall Will, Major West and Professor Robinson had gone off on an expedition leaving Penny and Dr.
Smith to investigate a strange alien spaceship.
Don't shoot! I'm innocent, and so is she! It's gonna fire! No! No! [ Male Voice .]
I have given you warning! Come no closer! We don't mean you any harm, sir.
- We're friends.
- Indeed we are.
I have no friends! I-I'm Penny Robinson and this is Dr.
Smith.
- We're from the planet Earth.
- How do you do, sir? It makes no difference to me who you are or where you come from! - Go away! - Now, look here, sir.
There's no need for such hostility on your part.
We are only trying to be civil.
I want nothing to do with either of you! Indeed! If that's your attitude, we shall be more than happy to oblige.
Come along, Penny.
We will leave this belligerent creature to his own devices.
Well, what are you waiting for? You should be ashamed of yourself.
I don't know how it is in your world but in ours most people are kind and friendly.
Yes.
And you, sir, are completely lacking in the social graces.
I know all about your world.
It is inhabited by stupid and avaricious people.
- That's not so! - You are only a little girl.
What would you know about good or bad, right and wrong? I have no wish to talk with you further.
- Now, go away! - With pleasure.
- Come along, Penny.
- We have as much right to stay here as you.
I shall give you till the count of three to leave.
One, two, three! I think we're just wasting our time.
If the alien had really wanted to harm Penny and Dr.
Smith - he certainly had the opportunity.
- Oh, well, I agree with you.
But Dr.
Smith insists that we light up the area in case of a sudden attack.
- Well, I suppose it won't do any harm.
- No.
Well, it gives him a-- oh, a feeling of security.
- So we'll just humor him.
- [ Dr.
Smith .]
Excellent.
Excellent.
I see you ladies have completed preparations for our defense.
we will give him a rousing reception with our laser guns.
Oh, Dr.
Smith.
Aren't you being a little overcautious? After all, there's been no indication of any danger.
Believe me, dear lady, I have a sixth sense about these things.
We are in deadly peril.
I can feel it in the very marrow of my bones.
Are you sure it isn't just a slight touch of arthritis? This is hardly the time for humor, madam.
Since the other male members of our expedition are absent it is my duty to protect our intrepid little band.
John has left me well equipped to take care of all of us, Dr.
Smith.
[ Sighs .]
Anyway, they'll be back in a few days.
Let us hope so.
But until that time arrives we must exercise extreme caution.
Look, a falling star! [ Maureen .]
No, I don't think it is.
- Oh, it's a spaceship.
- Oh, dear.
Maybe it's one of those aliens you met this afternoon, Dr.
Smith.
No.
The other spacecraft was larger.
Someone else is arriving.
We are suffering a population explosion.
So, we have another visitor.
After all, you know this planet isn't private property.
Perhaps we had better go inside.
Oh, Dr.
Smith.
All right, perhaps we'd better.
Who knows for what diabolical purpose they have come? Oh, dear.
I won't sleep a wink tonight.
[ Gasps, Yells .]
Wait for me! Oh, I'm exhausted.
- Oh, good morning.
- That is a matter of opinion.
Don't you feel well, Dr.
Smith? You see before you a man who has been up almost all night.
- I judge my condition to be barely adequate.
- Oh.
- Well, what's the matter? - Couldn't you sleep? [ Dr.
Smith .]
Sleep? And leave you ladies unprotected? The others should never have gone off and left us all alone.
I think we're managing beautifully.
My health is extremely delicate, as you know.
It's too much to ask of one man to play guardian angel to all of you.
Correction.
One cowardly man and one brave robot.
Be still, you-- [ Yells .]
- Oh, what a beautiful box.
- But where did it come from? - I wonder what's inside.
- Don't touch it, Penny! Who knows what horrors it may contain.
There might even be a bomb in it.
A bomb! Oh, Dr.
Smith.
Please do try to control your melodramatic imagination.
I have computed the contents of the box, and there is no danger.
The Robot says it's all right, Dr.
Smith.
Mark my words.
You're making a terrible mistake.
- Oh! It's filled with all sorts of good things! - Oh! Perfume! Oh, heavenly.
[ Maureen .]
Oh, here, let me.
Oh, my.
Oh, I had almost forgotten that exquisite aroma.
This looks like, um, caviar.
[ Dr.
Smith .]
Caviar? Let me see.
It is! It's caviar! Oh, lovely.
- And a ham.
- Oh! A ham! Oh, rapture! A fitting gift for you, Dr.
Smith.
Hold your tongue, you silly goose.
These things are all very lovely, but who sent them? - [ All Gasping .]
- I did.
A golden man! I hope you are pleased with my small offering of friendship.
Well, it's certainly very kind of you.
I'm Maureen Robinson, and these are my daughters Penny and Judy.
And this is, uh-- Well, this is our Dr.
Smith.
I am called Keema.
[ Dr.
Smith .]
It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Keema.
It isn't often we encounter a friendly and may I add, charming alien.
We are living in a very dangerous galaxy, Dr.
Smith.
Kindness is all too often repaid by treachery and betrayal.
How true.
How true.
- When did you get here? - Last night.
Why do you ask? Well, someone else arrived yesterday.
Dr.
Smith and Penny talked to him.
A most unpleasant creature.
Decidedly unfriendly.
He shot at us.
All he wanted was for us to leave him alone, Dr.
Smith.
- Indeed.
- [ Keema .]
Consider yourself lucky at having escaped without harm, beautiful ladies.
The alien you encountered is mean and dangerous.
Oh, really? Well, then we shall all be sure to stay clear of him.
That would be very wise.
I wish I could do the same.
But we are destined to meet.
What do you mean, Mr.
Keema? I hate to bring a dark note into this bright meeting but as my friends, you should know the truth.
I am here to fight a war.
A war? You mean this planet is going to become a battleground for armies? Oh, no, Mrs.
Robinson.
Fortunately my world has become too civilized for such useless violence.
- Oh, thank heaven for that.
- Instead the leaders of the warring parties meet in battle on neutral ground.
In this way, civilizations are not destroyed.
Oh.
Well, I find that very commendable.
But, uh, why are you fighting? For years a dark and forbidding world of ugly aliens called Zeedans has threatened my planet.
We've made every effort to appease them even going so far as to pay ransom.
They must be horrible.
Recently, the demands of these terrible creatures have become so great that we can no longer meet them.
How do you mean? There remains nothing for us to do but go to war.
I don't as a rule approve of violence, sir.
But in this particular case, I agree with you 100%.
Thank you, Dr.
Smith.
But I mustn't burden you with my problems.
You have enough of your own.
It's been a great pleasure talking to you.
We're glad to have met you too, Mr.
Keema.
You're, um-- You're welcome to come by anytime.
Anytime at all, sir.
Now that you know the way do come by again.
[ Gasps .]
Ah.
It's a delight to meet an alien of one's own class.
- A true gentleman.
- He was a very handsome man.
- I don't like him.
- And I suppose you have a reason for this sudden dislike? No, I don't.
But he's too good-looking and-and golden.
I thought as much, my dear child.
You are indeed a child at analyzing character.
Our golden friend, believe me, is as handsome in spirit as he is in appearance.
[ Maureen .]
Well, before we pass judgment on Mr.
Keema I think that we should hear what the opposition has to say.
You know, there are always two sides to every argument.
And more often than not, the truth lies somewhere in between.
Well, I don't think we should let these things go to waste.
Caviar.
What a delicacy.
Oh, lovely.
Mmm! Stop! Come no closer.
It-It's only me-- Penny Robinson.
You were warned to stay away.
- Why have you returned? - I don't know.
I guess I wanted to talk to you.
Why, Penny? Well, I think if you're gonna have a war, you should try to discuss things.
There can be no discussion between us.
You are an Earthling, very young and probably very silly.
Go back where you belong.
All right, if that's what you want.
- The golden man was right.
You're mean and unreasonable.
- Wait! - You have met my enemy? - Yes, he came to our camp yesterday.
He said that you were gonna fight a war with him.
He said it was all your fault and that he wanted to make peace but you wouldn't even talk to him.
I am not as unreasonable as the golden man would have you believe.
- Then prove it.
- How can I do that? By coming out of your spaceship so we can see each other.
You would not be pleased.
I am not golden and handsome.
- I don't care how you look.
- Are you sure? What if my appearance frightens you? - I've seen strange-looking aliens before.
- Very well.
But, remember, you have been warned.
All right.
I'm ready.
You are afraid of me.
I'm just a little surprised, that's all.
If you are not frightened, then come closer.
To your untrained eye, I appear extremely ugly, do I not? Well, it-it does take a little time to get used to your appearance.
Now we shall see what happens when we meet face-to-face.
All right.
I'm ready.
Well, what do you think? In my world, I am considered handsome.
I'm sure you are, sir.
- Well, what did you expect me to look like? - Gosh, I don't know.
- But I didn't expect you to look like this.
- [ Chuckles .]
Yes.
You prefer the golden man-- all shine and glitter with nothing of value beneath.
Oh, no, sir.
I like you much better than the golden man.
- Why are you going to war with him? - That is none of your business.
- Mr.
Keema said-- - I am not interested in anything that creature told you.
Now you've spoiled everything.
I was just beginning to take a liking to you.
- All I wanted to do was help.
- Indeed.
Pray tell, what could a silly little Earth girl do? Well, sometimes when two parties disagree a third person can help straighten out the problem for them.
I do not want help from anyone.
Now go away! I don't want to talk to you anymore! Please, sir, don't be angry.
If you'd rather-- Please come back.
I promise I won't mention the war again.
Oh.
There.
Another dreadful weed bites the dust.
Dr.
Smith, you just threw away a tomato plant.
Nonsense, my dear.
I happen to be a man with vast experience in the field of horticulture.
When I was a youth, I spent many summers on my Uncle Thaddeus's farm.
- Oh, I didn't know that.
- Oh, yes, indeed.
My garden was considered the very finest in the area.
And my vegetables were always awarded the first prize at the county fair.
- But not the tomatoes.
- I refuse to argue the point with a mental midget.
And, now, back to horticulture.
- Good morning.
- Ah, we have company.
Dr.
Smith.
Miss Robinson.
- Hello.
- You look very pretty this morning.
- Thank you.
- How gallant you are, sir.
I hope you don't mind my dropping in on you so unexpectedly.
On the contrary.
A friendly face on this bleak planet - is always a welcome sight.
- I'll go tell Mother you're here, Mr.
Keema.
I shall accompany you.
- A very charming young lady.
- Yes, isn't she? What a pity that such a lovely creature has to endure such hardships.
You surprise me, Dr.
Smith.
- Judy gives the appearance of being a very happy young lady.
- Mere pose, sir.
Beneath that bright facade is a miserable, frightened child.
And with good reason.
We are all trapped here.
- I didn't know that, Dr.
Smith.
- Oh, yes.
I fear we shall never leave this unearthly planet.
Never.
Dr.
Smith, working alone neither one of us can achieve our goals.
But by joining forces, we might realize success.
Continue, dear sir.
You interest me.
I can get you off this planet.
In return, you can help me win my war against the leader of the Zeedans.
Although I am by nature a man of peace I might be willing to cooperate.
What would you require, and what would you pay? Supply me with some of the weapons you have on your spaceship.
In that way, victory against my enemy is assured.
And I would pay well.
- And would the payment include returning me to Earth? - Immediately.
My dear Mr.
Keema I do believe we have just made a mutually advantageous deal.
Never fear, Smith is here.
Oh! Why? Why can't I make anyone understand? Madam, this marvelous opportunity may never happen again.
We cannot afford to turn it down.
I refuse to let one weapon leave this ship.
But without our assistance, Mr.
Keema will be destroyed.
Think of it-- that charming, cultured man.
- His fate is in your hands.
- Now, look, we have enough troubles of our own without getting involved in a fight that we know nothing about.
I agree with Mother.
Dad and Don will be back in a couple of days.
They can decide what to do.
By then, it will be too late.
The war will be lost! I do not think we should give the golden man any weapons either.
- And why not, pray tell? - We do not know if he deserves to be helped.
Spare me your obtuse opinions! Look, if we knew a little more about the situation-- But the facts are obvious, madam.
The forces of evil seeking to destroy the forces of good.
If your husband were here, I know that he would agree with me.
How many times have you heard him say "Since we are living on this planet with these aliens we cannot stand by and ignore them"? Really, I-- I don't know what to do.
Maybe we should help Mr.
Keema, Mother.
[ Dr.
Smith .]
Our golden man needs aid.
How can you turn away and send him to a tragic fate? Well, then give me a little bit longer to think about it.
We must decide now! We cannot wait! Well, maybe we should.
Do not make a decision in haste, Mrs.
Robinson.
- I have a suggestion.
- What is it? Let me go to Mr.
Keema's camp and check out his true motives.
Well, now, I think that's a wonderful idea.
Then I shall leave immediately.
You're making a terrible mistake, madam.
Mark my words, we shall all suffer for it! As for you, you jabbering Judas henceforth our friendship is at an end.
Leave us! [ Whirring, Beeping .]
[ Chuckling .]
The Earth people are extremely naive and stupid.
I'm sure they will give me the use of their weapons.
With them, I shall easily conquer our enemy.
When that has been accomplished, I shall then destroy the Earth people.
And with their own weapons.
Whee! Here we go! I understand the project completely! Two times two equals one! Subtracting minus two-- Two pi squared equals-- Dr.
Smith, where are you? He is my savior! A brave man! My computers! My computers! Where are my computers? The lights! Who turned out the lights? Dr.
Smith! Will Robinson! Penny! [ Yells .]
Where are my computers? Two times two equals four! Four times four-- Dr.
Smith? Dr.
Smith? I'm sorry.
Oh, go away and leave me alone with my misery.
How could you all do this to me? Like Caesar, I walked trustingly to the forum and like Brutus, you have all stabbed me.
- Why, Judy? Tell me, why? - I'm sorry, Dr.
Smith.
- Really, I am.
- Doomed to remain on this ignoble planet and all because of blind, misguided judgment.
Judy, if I could prove to you that you were wrong about Mr.
Keema would you then go to your mother and convince her to help him? I guess so.
But how? We will go to Mr.
Keema's campsite.
I want you to see for yourself what a wonderful person he really is.
Come along, dear.
The campsite must be in this immediate vicinity.
I remember Mr.
Keema's instructions exactly.
- Then how could we have missed it? - I don't know.
Why don't you look in that direction, and I'll search over here.
- All right.
- If we find the camp, either of us, we'll call out.
[ Rumbling .]
Dr.
Smith, help! - Judy, what's wrong? - Stay away, Dr.
Smith! - I'm trapped in a minefield! - A minefield? - [ Gasps .]
- [ Screams .]
Don't move.
I'll get help.
Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear, the most terrible calamity has befallen us! - Quickly! There's not a moment to lose! - Dr.
Smith, what's the trouble? Judy! Judy is trapped in a minefield! Quickly! She may be blown to bits at any moment! - Where? - Hurry! Oh, dear! A calamity! A calamity! Hurry! - Judy! - Mom! Shh! Quiet, madam.
The slightest sound detonates the mines.
- I've got to go to her! - No, you can't! We'll both be destroyed! Mom, help me! - You'll be all right, darling.
I-I've got to help her! - No.
Mr.
Keema! I'll try to get her out, Mrs.
Robinson.
Please, stay where you are.
Judy's predicament is all my fault.
It never would have happened if I hadn't come to this planet to fight a war.
Everything's going to be all right, Judy.
Just put your arm around my shoulder, and I'll carry you out.
[ Both Gasp .]
- Oh! - Oh, Mother! Oh, there, now.
You're all right now.
[ Dr.
Smith .]
That horrible alien.
Imagine putting down a minefield where innocent people might wander into it! The leader of the Zeedans is not concerned with others, Dr.
Smith.
He wants only to win his war.
But this is no time to discuss my enemy.
Judy has had a terrifying experience.
- She should have rest.
- Well, we're very grateful to you for what you've done, Mr.
Keema.
Friends help each other in times of trouble, Mrs.
Robinson.
And now may I accompany you back to your spaceship? - No, thank you.
No, we'll be all right now.
- Very well, then.
Good day.
Good day, Mr.
Keema.
And thank you very much.
Well, madam, I dare say this proves that I was right about Mr.
Keema.
He's a man of courage and integrity.
Will you still refuse to give him those weapons? No, Dr.
Smith.
I think you're right.
We'll give them to him.
Come on, now.
Let's get back to the spaceship.
- Look.
- Mom! Well, something's happened to him.
I compute! You compute! We all compute! I'll handle this, my dear.
All right, you cumbersome clod, enough of this nonsense.
Where am I? Who turned out the lights? You were sent to Mr.
Keema's camp.
Remember? Yes.
Now I remember.
Which way did they go, partner? Well, did you find out anything about him? About him? About him? Whom are we discussing? Mr.
Keema, you dunce! The golden man! You must be mistaken, sir.
The gentleman and I have never met.
Whee! - He's taken leave of his senses.
- Oh, the poor Robot.
- Dear, I do hope it's nothing permanent.
- I hope so.
- Do you think we can fix him? - [ Dr.
Smith .]
I seriously doubt it.
He appears to be too far gone.
- Well, we'd better get some tools and check his systems.
- Yes.
Oh, dear.
- Alas, poor Robot.
I knew him well.
- Whee! Here we go 'round the mulberry bush The dullberry bush the lullberry bush Here we go 'round the bullberry bush so early in the morning [ Groans .]
Whee! Hello? Hello in there? It's me, Penny Robinson.
I have to talk to you.
Haven't you any consideration for others? I was taking a nap.
I'm sorry, but this is terribly important.
It had better be.
What do you want? Did you plant an electronic minefield to trap Mr.
Keema? Mine? I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Mr.
Keema said you did.
- Then it must be so.
Mr.
Keema is much too handsome and charming to lie.
You haven't answered my question.
I don't know why I'm talking to you at all.
But if you must know, I had nothing to do with mines, electronic or otherwise.
Oh, I'm so glad.
I knew you couldn't do anything so mean.
Now that I have put your fears to rest, I shall continue my nap.
Oh, uh, just a minute, sir.
Do you think you could come to our campsite in the morning? - I have no time for social activities.
- But this is about the war.
Mr.
Keema wants us to give him our weapons to fight against you.
Knowing the persuasive powers of my enemy, I suppose you agreed.
Well, except Dr.
Smith, we were all against it.
- And then Judy got caught in the minefield.
- I see.
But if you'd come to our camp and explain to Mom that you're innocent - I'm sure she'd believe you.
- How very young and naive you are.
No one will accept my word against that of Mr.
Keema's.
- I believe you.
- Only because your heart is innocent and has not yet been injured by deceit and cunning.
- Please say you'll come, sir.
- It will do no good.
Good-bye, Penny Robinson.
- [ Gasps .]
- Oh! Gently, now.
Be careful, Dr.
Smith.
- They're very, very dangerous.
- Quite all right, madam.
I'm quite familiar with handling explosive items.
- [ Judy .]
Oh, dear! - Knock, knock! - Who's there? - Oh! Grenades! Thank heaven the pin wasn't pulled.
There's no need.
I can do it all very well my-- [ Yelling .]
- Help, Dr.
Smith.
- Oh, dear.
Careful! Careful! They're extremely dangerous.
Gently, gently, gently.
Ah.
Splendid, ladies.
You're doing very well.
- Oh.
- [ Sighs .]
He went thataway! Come along, ladies.
Time is of the essence.
Ah, yes.
Here we are.
Careful, careful.
There, and there.
Laser pistols, rifles, and a good supply of neutron bombs.
That should swing the balance of power in Mr.
Keema's favor.
Oh, dear.
I do hope we're doing the right thing.
Of course we are.
Surely you have no doubt? Well, I just wish I hadn't been so hasty in making up my mind.
- Well, you can still change your mind, Mother.
- I know that, dear.
We're not sure that the alien was responsible for the minefield.
Who else could have done such a dastardly deed? - Well, it might have been Mr.
Keema.
- My dear lady Mr.
Keema saved Judy's life.
We should be grateful, not accusing.
Oh, I know, but it might have been a trick to get us to give him the weapons-- to gain our-our sympathy and support.
Mom is right.
The little alien is innocent.
- And how do you know that? - Because he told me so.
- What are you saying? - I'm sorry, Mom, but I just had to find out for myself.
- I went to see him.
- Penny! He didn't know anything about a minefield.
Obviously.
What else could he say? I asked him to come and talk to you personally, but he refused.
He refuses to face us.
Further evidence of his guilt.
- Oh, just a moment, now, Dr.
Smith.
- That's not so! - Just because Mr.
Keema is good-looking-- - [ Judy .]
He's here! He changed his mind! I'm so glad you're here.
Now you can explain everything.
It was foolish of me to come here.
No, perhaps not.
I'm Penny's mother.
Uh, this is my daughter, Judy, and you've already talked to Dr.
Smith.
- I give you all greeting.
- How dare you present yourself here, sir especially after what you tried to do! Dr.
Smith, just a moment! I do not extend courtesy to potential murderers, madam.
You will leave this camp immediately, sir, do you hear? [ Robot .]
Be gone! Take a powder! Scram! Beat it! Double time! - Hup, hup, hup, hup! - Will you be quiet! - The only reason I'm here-- - We are not interested in your reasons, sir.
Dr.
Smith, stop! Now, we must give him a chance to give his side of it.
I couldn't care less what this creature has to say.
It will not change my opinion of him.
You have exactly five seconds to leave here, sir.
Otherwise, I shall be forced to-- [ Gasps .]
You can't shoot me! I'm unarmed! Help! The golden man! They may start shooting at any moment.
We've got to do something! No, wait! This camp is a neutral zone.
Now, I ask that you both agree to respect that neutrality.
- Very well, Mrs.
Robinson.
- I, too, accept your request.
And to make sure that you both agree to this I ask you to put away your weapons.
What about you, sir? I refuse to place myself in a defenseless position among my enemies.
Mr.
Keema isn't afraid.
He is brave, and I am obviously a coward.
- Obviously.
- We shall not meet again, Penny Robinson.
- I will say good-bye.
- No, wait.
Now that you're here, perhaps you and Mr.
Keema can work out your differences.
It would be a waste of time.
But there doesn't have to be a war if you can both negotiate your problems.
Don't you think so, Mr.
Keema? Nothing would please me more.
- And you, sir? - He knows my terms for peace.
They have been stated many times.
Your demands are unreasonable! They're outrageous.
Completely out of the question.
I do not think so.
Now, look, you're both intelligent beings.
Surely there can be some solution to this.
[ Mr.
Keema .]
My planet does not wish to fight.
We are being forced to wage war.
And my planet will not change its position in any way.
You are a brutal, uncivilized monster, sir! Mr.
Keema will make some concessions if you will.
I have nothing further to say on the subject.
Prepare yourself for battle, Mr.
Keema! - As you wish.
- Mom! Stay within the area of your spaceship.
To venture beyond will be dangerous.
Oh! Oh! We're doomed! The end is near! It all seems so stupid and senseless.
My feelings exactly, Mrs.
Robinson.
Perhaps I should go after him and-and try again.
I'm afraid you would only be wasting your time.
There is nothing anyone can do now.
A state of war already exists.
War! War! This means war! Forward march! Right flank march! Left flank march! - Right flank march! - Good heavens! He's bereft of his senses.
Judging from the madness I see before me a complete check of your relay system would not be amiss.
That way, sir.
Oh! No salad for a month! That way, sir! Madam.
Madam, you simply must give Mr.
Keema those weapons.
I'd like a little more time to think about it.
But the war is only a few hours off.
We have to make a decision now.
I know.
You know, if John were here-- He would back the golden man to the hilt.
Of that, I'm sure.
Dear lady, let us examine this problem calmly and with dispassionate clarity.
Our golden man is in trouble.
That dreadful alien appears to have the advantage.
Shall we help the knight in shining armor, or the dragon? I've been over all the pros and cons a dozen times.
Then why are you hesitating? After all, he did save Judy from the minefield.
I don't know.
It just seems to me there's just something just not quite right about it.
Please, madam, spare me your womanly intuition in this matter.
What about Penny? She doesn't like him either.
The judgment of a child.
Believe me, we are doing the right thing.
I will simply take those weapons over to Mr.
Keema he will use them to destroy his enemy and ours and happy days are here for us again.
All right, Dr.
Smith.
You can take the weapons-- - Ah! - right back into our arsenal.
What? That's impossible! Mr.
Keema is depending on us! Well, if I've made a mistake, I'll take the blame for it.
Great comfort that will be to us in the years of hardship and deprivation ahead.
Please take the weapons back into the spaceship, now.
Very well.
In a moment.
Oh, dear.
I have had dark moments in the past but truly these are the ultimate depths of despair.
Victory and freedom in my hands, and I am forced to throw them away.
Well, I can't, and I won't! She will thank me for this later.
Where am I? What happened? Now I remember.
Mr.
Keema.
I found out about Mr.
Keema.
Did you? We know all we have to know about the golden man.
- There's nothing you can tell us.
- Then you will act accordingly.
Indeed I will.
Mr.
Keema? Mr.
Keema, where are you? I have a little gift for you, Mr.
Keema.
I think you'll like it.
Oh, there you are, Mr.
Keema.
It's, uh-- It's safe, isn't it? I mean, the war hasn't begun? - Not yet.
- Oh, thank goodness I found you.
I was beginning to give up hope.
So was I, sir.
You brought me arms.
Dr.
Smith, I can't tell you how grateful I am.
Just vanquish our mutual enemy, Mr.
Keema.
That's all the repayment I want.
And transportation back to Earth, of course.
With these, my victory is assured.
Your words are sweet music to my ears.
Mr.
Keema, what is this? Don't touch! A hyperatomic cannon.
Beauty, isn't it? My pride and joy.
Very deadly and destructive.
Formidable-looking.
Mr.
Keema, I don't wish to pry, but couldn't you defeat your enemy with this hyperatomic cannon? Perhaps I had best explain, Dr.
Smith.
You see, my opponent and I are evenly matched in military strength.
For every offensive weapon I possess, he has a deterrent.
- The same situation applies to myself.
- I see.
And that's why you wanted arms from us.
The alien has no defense against them.
Exactly.
Then our success is assured.
- Thanks to you, sir.
- Oh, my dear Mr.
Keema.
I'm delighted to have been of service.
After all, what good is life if one cannot offer the hand of friendship? Ah, yes.
The hand of friendship.
Ah, yes.
The hand of-- [ Screams .]
Where-- Where is Mr.
Keema? I am Mr.
Keema.
No.
No, that can't be.
That's impossible! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Dr.
Smith.
Look at me! Am I not as attractive as the golden man? But this doesn't make any sense.
I needed your weapons to fight the leader of the Zeedans.
You would have found my true form repulsive and refused to give them to me.
So I became the handsome Mr.
Keema.
But you saved Judy.
I also planted the minefield.
That was part of my plan to secure your sympathy and help.
Now that I have what I want, there is no longer any reason to hide the truth.
Well, what are you going to do to us? First, I shall destroy my enemy.
And then, to complete my victory I shall destroy you and the other members of your party.
You can't.
We are your friends.
You're my enemies! How could I be friendly with anyone so ugly and repulsive as an Earthling? The very sight of you sickens me! - Out! - Yes.
Yes, indeed! [ Gasping .]
Mrs.
Robinson! Penny! Judy! Quickly! Everybody! There's not a moment to lose! Quickly, Mrs.
Robinson! The most terrible thing has happened.
We must turn on the force field at once and prepare our defense.
Turn it on at once, do you hear? Hurry! Everybody hurry! Dr.
Smith-- Dr.
Smith, you took the weapons to Mr.
Keema, didn't you? There's no time to discuss that now.
We're all in terrible danger! You deliberately disobeyed my orders.
You just go right back there and bring those weapons here! I can't! Oh, dear.
I've made a dreadful mistake.
Mr.
Keema is a monster! He assumed the form of the golden man only to trick us! - Oh! - The lights! We must have the lights! - I knew there was a good reason why I didn't like him.
- And you were so right, my dear.
Oh, I'm so ashamed.
It's just that he was so intelligent and charming.
And all the time, he wanted our weapons, so he could destroy his enemy.
Well, you're completely responsible for this.
Now that Mr.
Keema has what he wants, maybe he'll leave us alone.
I'm afraid not.
He means to destroy us all.
He told me so.
Maybe we could get the little alien to help us.
Not after he learns what Dr.
Smith did.
Well, it's worth a try, isn't it? Oh, Mom, please let me go.
Absolutely not.
It's much too dangerous.
Now, Dr.
Smith, do as I ask, please.
Go and get the weapons and bring them back.
The little alien must be warned.
You got us into this.
Now you can get us out, right? - Right! Come on, Dr.
Smith.
- Penny, no! - Come back! - Don't worry! - We'll be fine! - Mom! Oh! No, I-I can't go on.
I'm exhausted.
We're almost there, Dr.
Smith.
- Perhaps we could warn the alien later.
- [ Explosion .]
- Oh! What was that? - I don't know! [ Both Gasping .]
The war has started, Dr.
Smith! Come on! There's no escape! We're doomed! Start crawling! The barrage has stopped for a moment, Dr.
Smith.
We can get up now.
- [ Beeping .]
- What's that? [ Gasps .]
What in the world is this? - Is it a bomb? - A bomb? Oh, thank heavens.
It's a dud.
Dr.
Smith! Dr.
Smith! Thank you, Mr.
President, for the medal.
There was no need.
I did what any other man would have done.
- Dr.
Smith? - Where am I? Oh.
Oh, it's you, Penny.
- We've got to get out of here.
- Penny, am I all right? - I'm afraid to look.
- Yes, you're fine.
- Come on! - I'm afraid! - Crawl! Crawl! - Oh! Crawl! Oh, Dr.
Smith, we're too late.
Oh, you poor thing.
Penny, go back to your spaceship.
You're in terrible danger here.
No.
I won't leave you.
It's our fault this happened.
- Mr.
Keema got the neutron bombs from us.
- I gave them to him.
I'm sorry.
You were so mean and ugly, and he was so kind and handsome.
You are not to be blamed, Dr.
Smith.
Most of us are taken in by surface beauty and flattery.
You acted only in a normal manner.
Now you must go, or you, too, will be destroyed.
No.
I'm not gonna leave you.
Take her away, Dr.
Smith.
You must! He's right, Penny.
There's nothing we can do for our friend now.
- Go with him, Penny.
- [ Penny .]
Please let me stay! Come, Penny.
Come.
He's right.
Come, child.
Hurry! Dr.
Smith, look! He's gonna throw a bomb! [ Dr.
Smith .]
Let's get away from here, Penny! Come away, Penny! We're powerless! - We've gotta do something! - No! Don't touch it, Penny! Throw it away! - Throw it away! - I can't! You do it! [ Yelling .]
I give up! I think I'm going to faint.
Dr.
Smith! Dr.
Smith! Dr.
Smith, are you all right? [ Gasps .]
What's the matter, Penny? Don't you recognize me? - But you're handsome.
- No, Penny.
I'm still the ugly little alien you knew before.
I have only assumed this form so that you will remember me fondly in the future - and not with repugnance.
- You didn't have to change yourself for me, sir.
I like you no matter how you look.
Thank you, Penny.
[ Groans .]
Oh.
What happened? Help me up, dear.
Oh! Oh! Oh, my back is a disaster area.
You're a hero, Dr.
Smith.
You threw the bomb back to Mr.
Keema.
- I did? - That's right.
[ Engines Firing Up .]
I guess you can't judge anybody by appearances, can you, Dr.
Smith? That's right.
And I'm glad you've learned your lesson.
- Wha-- - Come along, dear.
It was really exciting.
We saw these trees that moved.
They lived on solar energy.
- Then later, we found this mountain of pure titanium.
- Sounds wonderful.
And then later on, we saw this lake that was colored gold.
- Anything exciting happen around here? - Oh, nothing much.
- We just had a war.
- [ John .]
A war? Oh, it was nothing important, dear.
It was just a small war.
- Hardly anything.
- [ Dr.
Smith .]
And one, two, three, four.
One, two, three, halt! One, two-- Oh, you'll never learn.
- Smith, what's with the Robot? - You are looking at our first line of defense, Major.
In the event that we are ever attacked again, we shall be fully prepared.
All right, soldier.
Straighten up.
Look alive.
Get your chin up.
And let's have a little snap in our marching, shall we? - Yes, sir! - Very well.
Forward march! One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! One, two-- Wow! Dr.
Smith, you oughta see this! Astronomical scanning data indicates that you are now observing Omega Nebula.
[ Will .]
Check.
And that means that-- It means that you've had quite enough stargazing for one night, William.
Now gather up your playthings, and we'll go back to camp.
I can feel a chill coming on.
[ Sneezes .]
Oh, dear.
I knew it.
The rigors of being a babysitter for boy astronomers.
- Now hurry! Hurry! - But, Dr.
Smith, you don't understand.
A sneeze at night is a cold germ's delight.
That's all I need to understand.
Now go.
But, Dr.
Smith, we had the Omega Nebula in sight.
- How far is that from Earth? - Oh, a few thousand light-years, I guess.
- Ha! Indeed.
- But it's in the Sagittarius constellation.
- And if Dad can get a bearing on it-- - Now just a moment.
- Did you say Sagittarius? - Sure.
Ah, so it is! You know, my boy, I am a Sagittarius.
It's my astral signature, so to speak.
We have remarkable qualities, we Sagittarians.
Always cheerful, always generous, honest, outspoken.
But, Dr.
Smith, that's astrology, not astronomy.
Don't split hairs, my boy.
Now where was I? Ah, yes.
Outspoken, determined, self-reliant, bold-- [ Robot .]
Warning! Warning! "Warning, warning" indeed.
Stop cackling, you silly sausage.
A high-velocity solar gale is approaching the area! - Take cover immediately.
- [ Thunderclap .]
Convective rate of flow increasing rapidly! Repeat: take cover immediately! A solar gale? We'll be incinerated! Danger! Telescope will act as lightning rod attracting solar bolts! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger!