Resident Alien (2021) s02e15 Episode Script

1
Previously on "Resident Alien"
If you care even just
a little bit about me,
you need to tell me
what's really going on.
- It's fine.
- No.
Maybe it's best if we
just leave it at this.
I'm not an alien.
The aliens are the ones who took me.
You remember.
You're not supposed to remember.
You're one of them.
- What is this?
- Oh, that was a hoax
started by the mayor's son.
I already questioned
him. It was nothing.
Unless it means something to you.
Wow.
-
- You went all out.
I can't believe you made this.
Well, it is a special day.
He or she would have been two today.
Honey, listen.
Maybe it's time we try again, hmm?
Honey
I love you.
- I just
- I know.
It's just too soon.
Okay.
But just
say the word when you're ready,
and I promise to bring my A game.
- You always bring your A game.
- Mm.
Sometimes your B and C game.
You, uh
Think it's okay if we
sing "Happy Birth"
What the hell happened?
They took me again.
I saw our baby.
It's a boy.
It's a boy!
Open up.
Honey, let me in!
Honey, what are you doing?
Oh, my gosh. Come come inside.
W-what am I doing down here?
I
You tell me.
I you were just yelling
and and knocking and
asking me to let you in.
You your hands are ice cold.
Hey, come on. I'll make you some tea.
Yeah, I think I was sleepwalking.
Since when do you sleepwalk?
Well, I
did it a couple times as a kid.
Yeah, I'd sleepwalk and
always have the same dream.
What was the dream?
Uh, well, I'm in bed with a broken leg,
and my whole family is standing over me.
You know, my mom, dad, aunts, uncles.
Yeah, it's so weird.
I keep trying to ask for their help,
but nothing comes out of my mouth.
And they just stand there
looking at me
not doing anything.
Hmm.
Why are you having this nightmare now
after all these years?
Maybe it's those new sheets you got.
Uh, no.
Those are Egyptian cotton.
They were, like, $200,
Great, now I'm gonna have nightmares
about how much you spent on sheets.
All right. Here we go.
Number 17 on the Joe's Diner menu,
Rocky Mountain eggs over easy.
Maybe. Who knows?
You'll have to see when
you get inside the egg.
Everybody loves a mystery.
Doesn't matter as long as someone else
is doing the cooking.
Good morning.
- Mmm.
- Hello.
Welcome to D'arcy's Diner.
I made you your favorite,
blueberry pancakes.
Oh, that
is your favorite.
Yeah, well, I'm your favorite,
so whatever is in my
stomach is your favorite.
Hmm.
Thank you, but I will
just have coffee today.
And, you know, you don't
have to cook breakfast
for us every day.
Speak for yourself.
Well, it's the least I could do.
You know, you've been
letting me stay here
the last few days, and
getting over the pain
pills was hard, you know?
But thanks to you, I feel
like I'm over the hump.
Okay. Great.
Okay, so you're gonna
go back to work today.
Oh. Ugh.
I mean, you know, it's a big hump.
- Oh.
- You know, my recovery group
meets for three hours a day.
And then after that, it's
like, where's the day gone?
You know? Love to. Can't.
- So
- Hmm.
I think I'm gonna do some laundry
and then start on tonight's lasagna.
- Uh-huh.
- Hmm.
Hey, do you wanna go
to the record store later, maybe?
Get some new vinyl? New stuff?
Think about it.
She doesn't seem very eager
to go back to her life, does she?
Well, I'm sure she will eventually.
I don't know.
You know, going back to work,
at least she's gonna
face the world, right?
How fulfilling could
it be cooking all day?
I don't know.
I mean, why don't you ask
the roof over your head?
Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
I love this roof.
Okay? But so does she.
Like, a lot.
So maybe you could give
her a nudge, you know?
I'm her best friend. It's delicate.
But I'll need to be there for her
when my mean old dad kicks her out.
Please?
- Fine.
- Okay.
She'll be gone by the time you get home.
- Thank you.
- I'll talk to her.
Right after she makes the lasagna.
You're enjoying this way too much.
I discovered humans are bound together.
They are committed to
each other through family,
work, a common cause.
I came to Earth because I was committed
to saving the planet.
And I will stop anybody
who gets in my way
and take their cool things.
Harry? Are you in there?
You're not answering your phone.
Did you call me to tell
me to come in to work?
Yes.
That is why I did not answer it.
Well, if you would have answered it,
you would know that I ran into Liv,
and she said the alien
tracker has left town.
So you can come out of hiding.
And we have a backlog,
so I could really use you at the clinic.
Oh, I cannot come in to work today
'cause I'm sick with a fever.
Oh?
Y ow!
You don't have a fever.
I mean the gout.
I've been eating organ meats
on my pizza.
Your baby is sleeping.
What was that?
That was me.
I'm practicing ventriloquism.
Your baby is sleeping.
I'm very good at it.
Goodbye.
Your baby is turning.
The baby is turning.
Into what?
Harry.
What did you do?
Oh!
How did that get into my bunker?
I need to call an exterminator.
Oh, God. I am so sorry.
Harry can be a little serial killer-y.
What are you thinking?
You're kidnapping people now?
I had to. He tried to electrocute me
with his cooking stick for no reason.
You ripped an implant out of my neck.
I almost bled to death.
I did not rip.
I cut with the scalpel.
Oh! That did not heal well.
You should have put vitamin E on it.
That chip was my only
connection with my son.
Now I may never find him
again thanks to this monster.
This is why I wrapped
a rag around his mouth.
Stop. W-what happened to your son?
Our baby was abducted
out of my wife's womb
when she was eight months pregnant.
Unlikely.
We were on a bus, and
the next thing I knew,
she was screaming and the baby was gone.
That must have been awful.
It was.
They implanted me with a tracking chip,
and over the years they would take one
or both of us up to see him,
but they stopped that
after he took my chip.
I am so sorry.
Harry's sorry too. Aren't you, Harry?
No.
- That thing looks ugly.
- Harry.
Do you put sunscreen on it?
It's the size of a scallop.
- I'm sorry.
- You know what?
- I'm so sorry.
- It's too late.
Harry.
Here, in my pocket is my
only picture of my son.
Oh.
Yeah.
Do you have kids?
Yeah. I have a daughter.
I just keep thinking,
what could I have done differently?
I know how you feel.
Why are you talking
like you are friends now?
He is an enemy.
He is not our friend.
The only reason I have kept him alive
is because I need to
learn more about the Greys.
And to torture him a little.
I'm not touching you.
Oh!
I'm not touching you.
You should be helping each other,
not trying to kill one another.
I would be willing to do that
if you will just untie me.
Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
What are you doing?
He wants to kill me.
I swear on my son,
I won't hurt you if you don't hurt me.
Whatever.
I'll swear at your son too.
There is no point in me resisting.
Asta always does the right thing.
It is her most annoying trait.
That and she never lets me kill anyone.
Oh!
What is going on?
I mean, I've never seen
you sleep on the job before.
I mean, maybe metaphorically,
but never literally.
Look, I I didn't get a lot of sleep
- last night, okay?
- Okay, look here,
this is a place of business, all right?
So I don't wanna here nothing
about your sexual Etch-A-Sketch
nipple play with your wife, all right?
I agree. I don't ever wanna
hear that spoken out loud either.
You know what? I'ma tell you something.
You need to write this down.
Ahh.
Sleep
is a state of mind.
You're welcome.
Yeah, I think that's a known thing.
Might even be in the definition.
- Here you go.
- Thanks, Debra.
Good morning, Sheriff.
Good morning, Debra.
Did you see that?
What?
Debra's, like, the nicest
person in the office,
but do I get a, "Hi, Ben"?
No. Just, "Here you go."
- No, she hates me.
- What?
That woman hates no one and no thing.
She cried for two days when
that big plant out there died.
Look, this whole lack of
sleep has got you paranoid.
No, don't you see what's going on here?
Debra is one of the anti-resorters.
She has it in for me.
Yup. See? Lukewarm.
She probably blew on it
all the way over here.
Well, that's actually hot. That's
That's a good cup of coffee right there.
Well, not anymore.
The steak is enough.
I don't know why you
need a A dumb onion.
Because I'm starving.
All you fed me for three days is gruel.
It was unflavored instant oatmeal.
A-and it's heart-healthy.
You're welcome.
If you sharpen the knife,
the onion will make you cry less.
I know how to chop an onion.
I'm only crying because
I saw a video this morning of a dog,
uh, playing with a bird.
Yeah, I saw that.
It's fake.
It was not fake.
It was beautiful.
- Don't use your hand
- Ahh!
I got onion in my eye.
- Mm.
- Son of a bitch!
I'll take it from here.
You take it from here.
Are you sure your intel
on the Greys is accurate?
I am sure.
It was implanted in an alien baby.
The offspring was mine.
But I only got half the message
before the thing ran off,
and then the government stole it.
You sound more upset about the message
than about losing your child.
It was an important message.
Well, but it's your baby.
It's a part of you.
Caring for it is instinctual.
At least your baby is being held
at a military base.
Who knows where mine is by now?
A military base? What military base?
There's a secret base in Wyoming,
possibly not even
funded by our government.
It's where I suspect
they keep alien specimens
and probably all their
information on the Greys.
If they took your alien baby,
that's where it would be.
How do I get to this base?
Forget about it. It's like Fort Knox.
A friend on the inside
gave me some schematics,
and then he was killed for it.
I even tried to contact
this General McCallister,
who's supposed to be in charge there.
That was a mistake.
They were all over me after that.
I had to go underground
to get away from them.
Maybe they will let you in
if you have something they want.
Harry.
Peter?
"Dear Asta, if you are reading this,
"you are already in my house.
"Me and Pete are going to
break into a military base.
"If we do not come back, we are dead.
"But do not worry,
that means you will soon
"be dead too.
"You can watch my TV until that happens.
Stay sweet. Harry."
So, Detective Torres, she
graduated top of her class
with a degree in criminal
justice from St. John's.
So obviously she's smart, right?
That goes in the pro column.
Yeah, I don't think
doing a background check
on someone you like is a good way
to start a romance.
I never did a background check on John.
Oh, that's okay. I ran him. He's clean.
You on the other hand,
you got a C-minus in social studies.
Mr. Miller had it in for me.
He said I asked too many questions.
I mean, do you think I
ask too many questions?
Oh, wow.
Okay, how about this? Her
blood type is O negative.
Is that a pro or a con?
O negative is universal doner.
They can save a lot of lives, so pro.
See, I don't know about that.
Why is that, sir?
I mean, think about it.
People who save a lot of
lives, they give a lot of blood.
But every time they do it,
they get juice and cookies, right?
Now, what happens if I
wanna go on a picnic, right,
and she just gave blood?
She ain't gonna have no appetite
for my lemonade and snickerdoodles.
I'll probably have to wait a week.
Hell, and the ants
too. Now nobody's happy.
I don't know what to say
except that's just stupid.
Wow.
How is it possible that
something so negative
can come out of the same face
that makes such beautiful
mouth trumpet sounds?
Huh?
I'm sorry, sir.
I'm just worried about Peter.
I went on his website
and noticed that he hadn't
posted anything recently,
and he always posts
something, even if it's just
to say hi to his fans and
announce the month's birthdays.
Man, mine was coming up soon.
Aww, I'm sure he's fine, Deputy.
What if Peter did try
to confront an alien
and the alien ended
up taking him captive?
- Or worse.
- Okay, now, you might have got
a C-minus in social studies,
but you probably got an
A in conspiracy theories.
It's not an actual course.
How about this one? She likes rabbits.
Now, see, that's definitely a con to me,
'cause I can't be competing
against something
so furry and cute, right?
And I definitely don't shit pellets.
No. Have you been
listening to me at all?
What?
Exactly.
Hey. How was your day?
Not great.
I just went to Harry's and found this.
I'm worried.
"If we do not come back, we are dead."
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Well, I don't think the problem
with the note is clarity.
Dan, let's go.
She's still here?
I thought you were
supposed to talk to her.
I did. She left and got her PlayStation
- and came back.
- Oh, okay.
Okay, all set. Dan, come on. Let's go.
The Night Monster's coming.
Gotta go. The Night Monster.
Dad.
Okay.
Where are my Moggles?
Oh, grr. Now the Beefalo are mad.
Use your Ham Bat.
Oh, that must be
baby-skank with the snacks.
You invited Judy?
Well, you don't have to let her in.
You can just take the snacks.
- We need chips.
- We need sanity.
We're down to 15%.
- Hey, Judy.
- Hey, Asta!
- Oh.
- Thank you so much
- for taking care of our girl.
- Sure.
I got it from here.
Best friend in the house with snacks.
- Judy.
- I got you.
Okay, so tonight, D'arcy
- Judy.
- I got my place tricked out
for you, okay?
I wiped down my comforter.
I I
I fixed my "Goonies" tape. Remember?
And I've had, like,
all your favorite candy
out on the counter for,
like, give, take three days
just in case you were to,
you know, have come by sooner.
Right, but I'm not staying with you.
I know. I know that.
That is a better plan that I stay here.
I totally get it now.
'Cause I weirdly do have a
lot of mice all of a sudden.
- Do you?
- Mm-hmm.
Huh.
I've made friends with one.
He's very short.
And I call him Bernard.
Like British people say, "Bernard."
I'm like, "Bernard,
is there more cheese?"
And he's like, "No. It's all mine,"
which is so cute.
What is this?
Sorry, you can't be here.
This is a restricted area.
I have a delivery for
General McCallister.
There's no one here by that name.
You sure about that?
May I show you something?
Jesus Christ.
Get me the general.
Where did you find this?
Not out here.
Let's talk inside.
I run this base.
You don't get to dictate anything.
Raa!
Well, I am the one with the alien,
so I will dictate
whatever I want to dictate.
You have 20 minutes.
Make it count.
You have about eight minutes left.
My sources tell me
this is where you keep
information on alien activity.
I want it.
Maybe you should stop
listening to rumors from loons
wearing antenna headbands
at your ridiculous little conventions.
You seem to know a lot about me.
I like to know who the threats are.
I'm not a threat.
So this is it.
You planned this all along.
What are you doing,
working with that thing
you brought with you?
Now you're being ridiculous.
Maybe I'm just quick on my feet.
I would never work with an alien.
Here's to sending those resort bastards
on a getaway of their own.
Let's not get too excited yet.
It's just a TRO. We've
got a long way to go.
I know, but if I'm
drinking before dinner
and we tie it to work,
it just feels more professional.
Okay, yeah. I can drink to that.
Yeah.
- Hi.
- Mm.
Have you seen John?
- I'm meeting him for a drink.
- Nope.
Oh, why don't you sit
with us until he gets here?
- Yeah.
- We're celebrating.
We just got a temporary
restraining order
for the resort.
Oh, that's great.
- Whoo-hoo.
- Okay.
I thought you'd be a little
bit more excited than that.
Oh, I am. I'm sorry.
I've been waiting to hear
from a friend of mine.
They're in trouble,
so until I hear back,
I'm just a little worried
about them, you know?
Yeah. That's hard.
I just don't like this
feeling of being helpless.
You're, like, the least
helpless person I know.
Look at us.
We're slowing down this
huge resort company.
There's always something
that can be done.
Thanks. Thanks.
Hey, I get the feeling helpless thing.
That's me too these days.
Ben's he's going through something.
He's been having these nightmares.
He's even been sleepwalking.
Sleepwalking. He's doing that again?
- You know about that?
- Oh, yeah.
When we were young,
he wrote a paper on it
for English class.
Apparently, he ended up
outside and got locked out,
and they found him on
the porch the next morning
snuggling up to the neighbor's cat.
Oh, that's awful.
I I had no idea.
- Poor Ben.
- Yeah.
My cat was never the same, either.
Oh.
I'm clear. How about you?
All clear..
You two cover the door at the perimeter.
Augh.
He'll have to come through us.
Let's go. Let's do it.
I remember you assholes.
Ahh!
Why kill soldiers who attack you
when they may be useful
to you in the future?
It is like buying pizza
and shoving extra
napkins into your pocket.
You never know when
they may come in handy.
Hey, dickhead!
Straight ahead!
There he is, right there!
- Hold up.
- Hold, hold.
Holy shit.
Schneider, Bennewitz, you're up.
- Come on!
- Okay.
You are making a huge mistake.
You have no idea what
these things are capable of.
Any one of them could be an alien.
An alien.
Hey!
You are that high-haired gentleman
that I met at the alien convention.
I ate your flower-shaped fruit.
That was you?
I have so many questions for you.
Where are you from?
Who were your first teachers?
And when
- Get down!
- Hey, I
I'm a little bit busy right now.
Uh, maybe we could do this another time.
Sure. Thanks for springing me.
Oh.
I'm not really a hugger.
You should run.
Exit?
Oh, it's down the hallway.
Take a left just after the dead bodies.
Thanks.
I knew they existed!
This way.
There you are.
Hello, Harry. I'm Goliath.
Do you have any idea how dangerous
those specimens could be?
I don't need your warnings.
I'm an expert in all of this.
They don't call me the
Alien Tracker for nothing.
How many aliens have you
actually tracked and captured?
Besides the one that
you're working with.
Why besides the one?
Isn't one enough? It's an alien.
Anyone can find just one alien.
No. Not anyone.
Do you have an alien?
I'm not saying.
- That's a no.
- Fine.
You don't have one, and I do.
- Okay.
- Good.
I'm glad we agree.
Do you really have an alien?
Finally.
I have gotten what I
have been searching for,
the message I traveled back
in time to give to myself.
Thank you for your service.
I do not need you anymore.
You can go and find some goats to eat.
Daddy.
Daddy.
What am I feeling?
Is this the connection
between a parent and child
humans talk about?
Connection is supposed
to make you feel stronger,
so why do I feel weaker?
I need to hold you.
I am your father.
And you are my
spawn.
I will protect you.
Just made a friend ♪
A friend is someone you need ♪
Come here, you little shit.
What?
I got your nose.
I got your nose.
I don't actually have it.
Don't freak out.
Peek-a-baah!
I'll eat your heart out!
Whee-oo!
Turn on your heartlight ♪
Whee oh, God.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
Wherever you go ♪
Let it make a happy glow ♪
For all the world to see ♪
Turn on your heartlight ♪
In the middle of
a young boy's dream ♪
Don't wake me up too soon ♪
Gonna take a ride across the Moon ♪
Oh, yeah! Suck it, Werepig!
And with only a Tentacle Spike.
- Nice.
- Yeah. That's my best friend.
Maybe it's time to take a break.
You're right. We need more drinks.
- Ooh, ooh. Get me a soda.
- Two sodas.
These spicy chips are, like,
burning a hole in my stomach.
Oof.
Elliot's a jerk for
breaking up with you.
Aww, thanks, Jude.
Yeah.
You're probably, like,
really worried now.
He's probably just, like,
banging chicks left and right.
Well, now I am.
What do you think you're doing, Dad?
Isn't it obvious?
I'm helping D'arcy
find Glommer's Statue.
Okay, you promised to talk to D'arcy.
What happened to that?
Well, she seemed a little raw
when she came back from her meeting.
Didn't seem the right time to
push her out into the world.
Oh, God.
Dad, I love how compassionate you are.
And I get it. Really, I do.
I was the one rubbing her
feet and holding her head up
while she was throwing
up detoxing, okay?
But we can't
We can't keep indulging her.
She's not a child.
If you don't push her
into the real world
and force her to live her
life, you're just enabling her.
You're absolutely right.
I know.
- It's time she moves out.
- It's time for you to move out.
What was that?
You're right. You're not a child.
I love you too much to enable you.
Consider this your push.
Yeah, but
That's not
- Come on. Come on.
- Come on.
I'm right behind you.
Oh, my God.
It's my son.
- What?
- My son is here.
You've had him this whole time.
Uncuff me.
I can help you.
Forgive me if I don't believe you.
'Scuse me. Excuse me.
- Okay.
- If I could just tell you
about your car's extended warranty.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Ugh.
Oh.
Remember when we used to lay here
and stare at these stars
when we were little kids?
And high teenagers.
Oh, yeah. That too.
And we would talk for
hours about our future.
Mm.
We were both gonna marry Lee Smith.
You know, and then I'd
screw it up inevitably and
you could have him to yourself.
Hey, you were under a lot of pressure
being in that tournament.
Yeah, don't make excuses for me.
You know, other people
were in the tournament.
They didn't get hooked on
pills and have to hole up
at their best friend's
house because being alone
is worse than death.
You're not alone.
I know.
It's stupid. I'm an adult.
I should be able to
take care of my own shit.
It's not stupid.
I'm clearly not a fan
of being alone either.
I mean, I haven't lived on my own in
well, ever.
I've never even had my own place.
Maybe we could move in together.
Then you'd have your own place.
Really?
Oh, my God.
Ooh, maybe we could
get a house by a lake.
Oh, like your grandmother's old cabin.
Oh, my God.
We'd have to get one of
those old TVs like she had.
Yeah, with the rabbit ears.
Yeah.
- That thing was fuzzy as shit.
- Mm-hmm.
You couldn't see anything.
And so Gramps would hold the antenna
Mm-hmm.
So her soaps would come into focus
and she could watch.
God. He loved her so much.
That was so cute.
I
I get that that
That fuzziness.
It's
it's like my life in a nutshell.
That's why I had to be here this week.
When I'm around you, it's like
you're holding the antenna.
Everything gets clearer.
I'll always hold your antenna.
Gross.
- 'Scuse me.
- Oh!
Hello?
What?
Oh, okay. Whoa.
Thanks, Ellen.
What is it?
It's Ben.
I'm looking for my son!
I'm looking for my son!
Dad?
Son!
Robert. Stop.
Don't go to him.
You belong to us.
You made the wrong choice.
No!
Get him. Get him.
Get him.
You f you found your baby.
So did you.
It's too late for me.
Please
save him.
Save my son.
Ahh! Robert!
Let's go.
Stop. Don't move.
You can't take him.
Put him down.
We're in here!
This way.
Look, I'm fine.
Don't worry. Just go along
with my story.
I already told the cops
you hit an ice patch.
You weren't drinking.
I I wasn't drinking.
Exactly. Just like that.
Oh, my God.
What happened?
He's fine. He veered off the road.
He definitely wasn't drunk.
- I wasn't.
- That's what I said.
Thank God you're okay.
I'll let you two be alone.
But just know, if you
decide to have sex,
these walls have ears.
Mostly because I stand
close by and listen,
and my phone camera's set to 4K.
I I wasn't drunk.
I nodded off for a second,
but I'm fine, really.
We have to do something about this.
We cannot live this way.
I was just a little tired.
Yes, because you haven't been sleeping.
I think I know why.
Liv told me the story
about you getting
locked out of your house.
And that and the dreams
that you've been having
about your family not helping you.
They mean something.
You felt abandoned by them,
and now you feel abandoned by me,
because I've been fighting
you so hard on the resort,
but you don't have to worry
about that anymore, okay?
There's there's a
lot of good that can come
from having a resort in town.
So I'm with you.
I don't want you to stop
doing what you believe in.
I have to do something.
You know how they say your life
flashes before your eyes when
you think you're gonna die?
I feel like that might
have happened to me.
Oh, honey.
I I don't know.
It was, like, all of a sudden,
when I was crashing, I
remembered all these things at once.
You know, all these special moments.
And they were all here.
You know, in Patience.
With people that I love.
With you and Max.
Asta, Dan, D'arcy,
Kayla, Liv, Mike.
Ellen.
- Ellen.
- Aww.
I've been trying so hard
to change this town
to make it perfect.
And it already is.
At least to me. And
I don't want it to change.
I'm just so tired
of trying to get everyone to like me.
Oh, honey.
Everybody loves you.
No, they don't.
I'm just the mayor to them.
- No.
- But I know that you do.
You know, and that's what matters.
I do.
There you are.
But who is that with you?
- Secure the room.
- All right, got it.
Clear.
Thank God I still have the alien ball.
Oh, shit.
The Alien Tracker was committed
to finding his child.
But it wasn't just commitment
that made him willing to die for it.
The alien ball.
There was love too.
The word "commitment"
becomes something different
when you add love to it.
Humans call it devotion.
What'd she say? Are there any details?
No, just that Ben was in a car accident.
This feeling of devotion
is not just for families.
If there is enough love,
anybody will feel it.
I was surprised by the
feeling of love I had
when I saw the baby.
That is understandable,
because I am new to Earth.
But why does love surprise humans?
I hope he's okay.
Love is like air.
Even if you cannot see it,
you have to know it is there.