The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air s02e15 Episode Script

It is so nice to have the house all to ourselves.
It sure is.
Now, why is it that we wanted kids? 'Cause of the way you get them.
- Who that? - What, what? Who that say they gonna beat Will Smith? What, what? Yeah.
All right.
Hey, Aunt Viv, Uncle Phil, we did it, we won again.
We 4-and-0.
And at our next game, there's gonna be a recruiter from Georgetown University.
That's great, kids.
Why don't you go upstairs, get my wallet and take your friends to the movies? In Pittsburgh.
Sorry about the unexpected guests, Dad.
And, as manager of the team, I take full responsibility.
That's very honorable, son.
You're grounded.
Philip, I think it's nice that the kids feel welcome and want to be around us.
Actually, we got kicked out of six other people's cribs and a 7-Eleven parking lot.
But, you mind if we just hang around here and, you know, order a couple of pizzas or something? It is a very special night for you, Will.
Sure.
All right.
Thanks a lot, Uncle Phil.
And you know what, man, this just feels great 'cause I remember a time when me and you didn't get along so good.
All the yelling and screaming.
You telling me, "Get on the first plane back to Philly.
" Hey, but this is now, and that was this morning.
Yo, Ty, man, what took you so long? Hey, you ever try going to seven fast food joints on a city bus? No, I'm saving that for prom night.
Okay, you got your ribs.
- Oh, man, you got your fried chicken.
- Yes, sir.
- Your hot wings.
- Yeah! Your smokey links, your barbecue kielbasa and a bean pie fresh from the corner.
Yes, sir.
- Hey, you want some hot sauce on that? - Oh, yeah.
Needs a little bit more.
Will, you shouldn't be eating that garbage! Everyone knows, while you're in training no fats, no chocolate, and no women! Then I should probably cancel my date with that fat, chocolate woman.
Will, you pitiful Maalox poster child.
Get that grease buffet out of here and let's go to the game.
Malibu Prep is playing Brentley High tonight and I want you to check out Malibu's guard, Marcus Stokes.
I'm from Philly, homes, ain't nobody from Malibu gonna beat me in basketball.
Besides, I'm the greatest, I'm a bad man, and I'm pretty.
Will, you better listen to me if you want me to be your manager.
My manager? I don't even want you to be my cousin.
I didn't hear that.
He say he don't even want you to be his cousin.
Fine.
I'll just go to the game myself, and when I get back I'll tell Dad that little circle in your wallet's not your lucky half-dollar.
Shall we take my car or the Volvo? Malibu leads by 10.
Stokes passes to Jameson, Jameson back to Stokes.
Stokes calls time-out.
I'll say one thing for Malibu, the babes are primo-delecto.
Surf's up.
And that ain't all.
That must be jam, 'cause jelly don't shake like that.
Yo, Slimmy, need some help with your African American studies? We can go to my place and let freedom ring.
We're in the final quarter of this ball game.
Stokes will take the ball out at halfcourt.
He passes in to Miller, Miller back to Stokes.
Stokes shoots the jumper.
Bingo! This kid doesn't miss.
Brentley down, shoots, no soap.
They've been throwing up dead bricks all night.
Pelicans rebound.
Marcus the Great brings the ball down court.
He looks left, spins right.
Swish! Stokes is a one-man gang! Wow! Did you see Marcus Stokes jump? Luck.
How is that luck? He's lucky I'm not out there.
Carlton, the brother's from Malibu.
The only tough break he had is when the Izod shop ran out of pink.
God, I hate when that happens.
Hey, Coach Smiley, what's going on? Shut up, Smith.
Can't you see I'm incognito? Give me 20 laps first thing Monday.
No, wait, I don't want you hurting your legs before the big game.
Banks, do his laps for him.
So, what do you see, Coach? Not a damn thing, Will, it's part of the disguise.
Stokes has the ball, he moves to his right.
Drives to the hoop, a reverse lay-up.
He scores! Stokes dribbles.
Takes a pass, takes it strong to the hoop again.
It's in! Stokes has done everything tonight except sell hot dogs.
Stokes steals the ball, drives the paint.
Oh, my goodness, how sweet it is.
Marcus! Three seconds left, Stokes with a jumper.
Swish! The game is over! In my opinion, Marcus Stokes is gonna be one hell of a college basketball player.
Hey, Marcus, what's up, man? Will Smith, you probably recognize me from my picture in the sports page.
They said that I'm a superbly well-oiled machine with the face of an angel and the body of a god.
Maybe that's not an exact quote.
No, I don't recognize the face, brother.
But I do recognize them ears.
They covered up half of "Dear Abby.
" Hey, you had a pretty cute game out there tonight.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, 'cause I'm gonna do the same thing to your butt next week.
I'm glad you're familiar with that because my butt is the only part of my anatomy you gonna see next week.
Oh, really? I'll bring a couple of umbrellas for you and that scout because I'm gonna be raining jump shots.
Hey, hold up, I'm the only reason that scout is coming in the first place.
Only scout looking for you is trying to sell you some cookies.
I like your style, Will, I definitely like your style but let me be the first to congratulate you ahead of time for being voted Most Likely to Bag my Groceries.
Yeah? Well, I got just one thing to say to you, Mr.
Hot Shot.
You may be tall and good-looking and a good basketball player but you're not that nice.
You back again for another pre-game haircut? How you doing, young blood? Just a poor black man trying to make it in Bel-Air, Mr.
Nelson.
What do you say, Joe? Hey, somebody want to know the future? The girls like it.
I'm sure they do, they can check their makeup in it.
I heard about your last game.
Boy, you was awesome.
How many points you score? A mere 30 points an insignificant 18 rebounds, a minuscule 14 assists.
In other words, for a small fee, I might be persuaded to date your daughters.
Boy, you ain't never gonna be that good.
Boy, back in my day, we used to play basketball down in North Carolina.
We ain't had no sneakers, so we played in high-top combat boots.
And we ain't had no basketball, so we used a brick.
And we ain't had no hoop so Cousin Junebug would hold his arms out in a circle like this.
And all day long we slam dunked that brick off Junebug's head.
Them was tough days, boy.
Good thing you all wasn't into archery.
All right.
Now here's my hero.
How you doing, Marcus? - What's up, everybody? - Hey.
Joe, nice hair.
You keep saving these up, one day you'll have a sideburn.
Just because the roof blew off don't mean there ain't a log on the fire.
So, what is up, Little Willie? Ain't nothing to it, shorty.
I see you slumming, what you doing down here in the hood? This may be the hood to you, brother, but this is home to me.
What're you talking about? I live two blocks away from here, man.
Born and raised.
Wait, I thought you lived out in Malibu.
I know you thought I did.
You thought I was some snot-nosed, candy-pants preppy.
But I'm your worst nightmare on a basketball court, money.
I'm a homeboy, just like you.
So, wait a minute.
You ride a bus 20 miles a day to Malibu Prep? Nope.
I run.
Bingo.
My main man.
Will, what you doing back so soon? You know my haircuts don't have no warranties.
Tonight's the big game, I wanted to come in and get a special trim.
Don't cut me too short, though.
I don't want you give me no "Hair Jordan.
" If the people say you look pretty tonight be sure and mention Nelson's Golden Shears.
Our motto is: "It may be nappy, but we'll make it snappy.
" Has Marcus been around? I seen him once or twice.
He got his game face on? Afraid so.
So he wasn't fronting? Hey, he really does live around here? Yeah, he grew up right around the corner.
Come from a good family, too.
Got six of the prettiest sisters you ever seen.
I believe the oldest one think I'm kind of cute.
Marcus been playing ball over at Harriet Tubman Park since he was 6 years old.
Tough little rascal he was, too.
He used to play on the asphalt in his socks.
Mother couldn't afford sneakers, you know.
Sounds like he was about as tough as I was.
Yeah, I used to play barefoot on glass.
Why? Marcus' mother been working at the phone company ever since I can remember.
And the kid's got so many jobs, he could be Jamaican.
My mom had about four jobs, and I had three myself.
I was the only kid in preschool who knew how to downshift a big rig.
And I'm gonna amaze that Georgetown scout tonight.
A few years from now I'll be dunking baskets in the NBA Marcus will be dunking donuts in a deep fryer.
Which pro team you gonna play with? My daddy says I can play with a pro team.
Not so fast, Junior, you got a ways to go yet.
"Junior"? Yeah, Will, this is my son.
This is my son.
My son.
Well, here we are.
Have the house all to ourselves.
All alone.
Just you and me.
Will, I got Tyson, Holyfield, Dr.
J Dr.
Ruth, and Dr.
Pepper.
Only in America.
Sorry things didn't work out at the donut shop.
And another thing, take this $1,000 bill and wipe your baby's nose.
Go, Will.
Wait a minute, this is whack.
Hey, I don't even know if this baby is mine.
Hello, Dada? How you going to play a baby? Will.
Wake up.
Come on, it's time for the game.
Oh, man.
I dreamed you had hair like Don King.
Did I look taller? So, you ready to show that scout what we're made of? - Yeah, I guess so.
- Guess so? What kind of attitude is that for a champ? Come on.
Hey, Carlton.
You, you think it's rough having a kid? I don't think so.
You just hand out cigars and hope its head rounds out.
All right, men, we've come a long way and I just want to say, "Good luck.
" That, and pass it to Will.
One, two, three, Bel-Air! All right, it's showtime, baby! Yes, sir, and I am the master of ceremonies.
And here's the tip-off.
Look at Will Smith leap! He taps the ball to Jones, Jones back to Smith.
And Smith draws first blood for Bel-Air Prep.
Marcus Stokes has the ball for Malibu.
Driving the lane and scoring.
Stokes looking for the open man, takes the jumper for two points.
Will Smith coming right back at it.
In your face! Call the fire department, Stokes and Smith are smoking.
Smith steals the ball, driving the lane, a lay-up! He's poetry in motion.
Marcus has the ball, he drives, swish! It's been Smith and Stokes all night.
Jump shot, Will Smith.
He's got 30 points.
Stokes shoots the jumper.
It's money in the bank.
Stokes falls back on defense.
This has been an old-fashioned barnburner.
Bel-Air Prep by two points.
Stokes and Smith could start their own pro team! Holy mackerel, another two points for Will Smith.
Stokes comes right back at him.
He drives, and lays it in.
These two kids are magnificent.
Have you ever seen anything like it? Smith dribbles up court.
He stops, he pops, it drops.
Two points.
This one is too close to call and these fans are loving every minute of it.
Stokes looks tired but there's fire in his eyes.
Smith is playing the game of his life.
Stokes shoots.
In your face, Will Smith.
It doesn't get any better than this! Smith bringing the ball down court.
His face a mask of concentration.
He drives towards Stokes.
He fires the rock.
In your face, Marcus Stokes.
Bel-Air Prep by one point.
Time-out with 15 seconds left.
All right, men, now think defense.
Will, Stokes is your man, I want you to stick to him like white on rice.
Sorry, it's a bad analogy.
- One, two, three, Bel Air! - Let's go.
Hey, what's going on, Uncle Phil? You okay? Yeah, you know.
Guess I really blew it in front of that scout tonight, huh? Son, you can't come down on yourself for losing.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
There'll be other scouts.
I know.
I just felt like I really let everybody down.
My game just wouldn't come together tonight.
Trust me, Will.
I know it doesn't feel like it right now but what they say is true.
Winning really isn't everything.
Yeah, well, it is to Marcus Stokes.
How you doing, sir? I'm Marcus Stokes.
- I'm Philip Banks, Will's uncle.
- Nice to meet you.
- You play a hell of a game, son.
- Thank you, sir.
- Will, we'll see you at home? - Okay.
Hey, man, I was waiting around for you in the locker room.
Why'd you let me go around you like that? What, you tripping, man? I didn't let you go around me.
I know your game, Will.
You let me go around you.
If you were gonna play like that, why didn't you just sit in the stands? Look, come on, man, you impressed the scout.
You'll go to a Division One college, then you'll go pro.
You'll be able to get your kid everything.
What're you beefing about? Oh, I get it.
'Cause I got a kid, I'm some kind of charity case? Let's get something straight, homey.
My situation does not define who I am, I define who I am.
Look, man.
I got lucky, all right.
You know, I got a rich uncle.
A lot of brothers coming from where we come from they don't have the same opportunities.
That's your ticket.
You know something, my Bel-Air brother? You been watching too many made-for-TV movies.
Hey, look, man, I'm from Philly, I know it ain't easy to make it.
What? To make it to the pros? It's damn near impossible.
Look, I'm better than good, till I break my ankle, that is.
Then I ain't worth a dime.
I'm not depending on this.
I'm depending on this.
My b-ball scholarship is gonna get me a free education in engineering so that I can provide for my family with my mind.
- You don't even want to play pro? - Yo, I ain't no fool, now.
If somebody offered me a million dollars to dribble a basketball you better believe I'm gonna take it.
All due respect, my brother I don't think nobody's gonna offer you no million dollars.
What I'm saying is the odds of that happening are slim.
Me getting an education that's gonna last me a lifetime are the odds that I'm taking.
You know, you are a pretty deep brother.
Yeah.
And I'm a better ballplayer than you, too.
Them's be fighting words.
Let's do it.
I thought you'd never ask.
- Hey, that's what you want, right? - That's what I want.
You sure that's what you want? All right.
You're driving.
- You sure this is what you want? - Give it to me as hard as you can.
When you go home you gotta tell them what I did to you, right? - What did you say? - I'm gonna give it to you real hard.
Where you going? Take a look at you.
Smith has the ball.
He dribbles, he drives between the legs.
He stops, he pops.
And it's good! The crowd goes wild.
Oh, Smith hurt his ankle.
He hurt his ankle.
It's over, he cannot play.
Smith wins, 1-0.
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