The Weekenders (2000) s02e15 Episode Script
Murph
Hey Tino, hey Carver, hey Tish.
- Hey, Manny!
- Mayonnaise!
'Sup, Mannie?
Are you guys going to Sidewalk Sunday?
You know it!
I love making you do that.
Wow, I haven't heard
you do the squeaky scream
since you found that
cricket in your chili fries.
No, that was the squirmy shudder.
Or, we could change the subject.
Carver and Lor are just
saying that you have a very
well-developed sense of fear.
Uh.
Thank you?
My personal favourite is that thing you do
when you walk through a spider web.
The "web woo-woo".
The "web woo-woo"?
Web woo-woo.
Web woo-woo.
Web woo-woo.
While my friends think of new ways to mock me!
Let me tell you about Sidewalk Sunday.
A, it's Sunday.
And B, it's on a sidewalk.
With me so far?
Everything on the boardwalk is half-price.
Except for food and
drinks are like triple-price
'cause there's a big,
sweaty, hungry crowd.
And I'm not really
selling this, am I?
Well, trust me, it's better than it
sounds.
Hi, Lor.
Hi, Tish.
Hey, Carver.
- Hey, Murph.
- Hi!
Heya, Mur --
Ruh.
What was that?
Did you see that?
Did Murph just,
not say hi to me?
He probably just doesn't like you.
Doesn't like me?
Doesn't like me?
Doesn't like me?
That's crazy.
I'm Mr Likeable.
Ugh, now he's gonna do his "worry" thing.
I don't do a "worry" thing.
Do I do a "worry" thing?
Drumming fingers, wrinkly forehead,
rabbit mouth?
Like this.
Stand back and hold
on to your loved ones,
because this pie is gonna blow~!
Piece of junk.
Much better.
Why?
Why doesn't Murph like me?
Me?
Me?
Little ol' likeable me?
Because you're a little ol' freak?
Tino, you don't like him either!
Of course I, you know, you're actually
right.
I don't like him.
I can't stand him.
Okay, I'm letting it go.
I mean, what do I care?
I'm not even gonna think about
Murph!
Buddy!
Over here!
You can have my seat.
I'll sit on the floor.
Take my seat.
Ooh, ooh, take my seat!
Hey, Carver, Lor, Tish.
Hi, how are you?
Hey!
Murph, it's cool.
Sit down.
Okay, see ya.
He probably just didn't notice me.
I mean, I could understand if I had a
mustache.
I wouldn't like me then either.
You're obsessing.
But usually, everybody likes me.
I just don't get it.
Help me with this, okay?
Come on, aren't you gonna
do the Mom thing?
Alright, do you want "Wise and Kind" Mom
or "Life is Hard" Mom?
Can I get a combo?
Hard but kind?
Sure.
Tino, no matter what you do,
someone's not gonna like you.
In fact, I bet if you took a poll,
you'd find out Murph isn't the only one.
There's probably lots of
people who don't like you.
Ouch.
Where's that kind part?
I like you.
No, that's the embarrassing part.
And so, my mom said I should take a poll
of the whole city.
Your mom said that?
Absolutely.
Okay, sort of.
Anyway, I stayed up late and I made these.
Now, I need you guys to get people to
circle thumbs up or thumbs down.
Preferably, thumbs up.
And what exactly do we get out of this?
Well, once I collect all the data,
I'll shut up about it.
When do we start?
Likes me.
Likes me.
Likes me.
Like me.
Likes me.
Likes me.
Likes me.
Likes me.
No, no, no, no.
A thumbs down !
It's just one
from Nona.
Oh, is she serious?
Was it a joke?
It was a joke, right?
Sorry. But here's two more.
From Sid and Mrs Weems.
Ooh, the squeaky scream.
Sorry, it took me so long.
Thumbs up, thumbs up,
inflatable alien, thumbs up.
Aha!
Holding out on me, eh?
Okay, don't get excited.
99% really liked you.
I'm no math..ologist, but doesn't
that leave like one percent?
Oh, it was just Murph.
But you already know about him.
Murph.
Tino, you have to let this go.
Yeah, what are you gonna do?
Go door-to-door and
make these people like you?
Oh, no.
I don't like you 'cause of that
one time you stepped on my toes.
Well, your feet are kind of
Then you said my feet were big.
Um small, kind of very small.
Look, Nona, it was an accident.
I'm really sorry.
Okay?
Yeah, okay.
Super.
Then if you'd just change your thumbs down
to a thumbs up and initial here,
thank you.
Well, I marked thumbs down 'cause you never
returned that Chum Bukkit video I loaned you.
Okay, I'll give you back the video, plus
a Chum Bukkit t-shirt!
Well
But wait, there's more.
I'll throw in my 'Chum Bukkit:
Live from Camp David' CD.
And this attractive carrying case.
Deal.
Super.
Change and initial, please.
I don't like any young'uns!
They never help out us old folks.
Hey, hey, hey, I'm Mr Helpful!
Just tell me what I can do for you.
Nearly finished, Mrs Weems.
What a good boy.
And when you're done, you can do the back.
Dude, what are you doing?
I got the other three to like me.
So now I'm painting Murph's house.
He'll definitely be a
thumbs up after this!
Don't you think you're
going a little overboard, T?
I'm only doin' two coats.
Hey, why don't you just ask Murph
why he doesn't like you?
Are you nuts?
That'd be like, admitting defeat.
How can I
It's the man of the hour!
Murph-o, Murph-a-rooney, my ma-aan.
Okay, I'm doing like this
barbecue after Sidewalk Sunday.
And you guys should come over.
You three guys.
Oh, that's not my house.
You told me Murph lived here.
He did.
About six years ago.
You missed a spot.
You guys, this is really
important to Tino.
Maybe we should help him be more likable.
How?
We can't just show him slides of
all his faults and tell him to fix 'em.
Oh, no.
And as you can see,
gum chewing is not pretty.
And I care because
It is possible that some people consider
your gum chewing unpleasant.
Stop?
Each section of this chart
represents a problem area.
Your haircut, your worrisome nature,
your clumsiness, your
Um, begging now?
Relax.
We don't care about this stuff.
We like you just
'cause you're Tino.
But we're trying to help Murph like you.
If you just fix these minor faults
Forget it!
If I've got this many problems,
I'm surprised anyone likes me.
I'm leaving.
Okay, wait.
I live here.
So you leave?
This is the best Sidewalk Sunday ever.
I can't believe I got these
excellent pucca shells for only a buck!
No one ever mentions this again.
You guys, look!
Looks like he's still totally depressed.
We gotta do something.
Yep!
I got an idea.
Don't you have something
you wanna ask Murph?
What?
No, no, no, no.
Uh-uh, nope.
Fine, I'll do it.
Murph, how come you don't like Tino?
Well.
He poured a whole milk down my
sweatshirt on the first day of third grade.
But that wasn't me.
It was Tony Tortolero.
Doin' okay, Tony?
Sure!
Ha!
How could you possibly get us mixed up?
Tony, did the milk thing?
Ya-huh!
Him Tony, me Tino.
I knew it was just a little
misunderstanding.
So, we're buddies now, right?
No, still don't like you.
Why?
Everyone likes me.
Do you like me?
Do I?
I mean.
Do I?
Man, do I ever!
.. not like you.
Why don't you like me?
'Cause
I don't know.
Cause I just don't.
Well, same here.
Cause I just don't.
So we're even, right?
No big deal.
I guess not.
You don't like me and I don't like you?
We'll agree to disagree.
He doesn't like me.
He really doesn't like me!
We kinda knew that.
And look at me.
Not caring!
This is me, not caring.
Let it henceforth be known,
young Tino Tonitini hath reached an
unprecedented level of maturity.
Is that a beanbag Shakespeare?
Yes.
Unless that's really dorky
in which case it's a cat.
I just want to make one thing clear.
Over 99% of Bahia Bay likes me!
But, I know I can't expect
to be liked by everyone.
But what do I care if one guy doesn't like
me?
Or two?
What if there's three?
Ah!
Squeaky scream.
Later days.
- Hey, Manny!
- Mayonnaise!
'Sup, Mannie?
Are you guys going to Sidewalk Sunday?
You know it!
I love making you do that.
Wow, I haven't heard
you do the squeaky scream
since you found that
cricket in your chili fries.
No, that was the squirmy shudder.
Or, we could change the subject.
Carver and Lor are just
saying that you have a very
well-developed sense of fear.
Uh.
Thank you?
My personal favourite is that thing you do
when you walk through a spider web.
The "web woo-woo".
The "web woo-woo"?
Web woo-woo.
Web woo-woo.
Web woo-woo.
While my friends think of new ways to mock me!
Let me tell you about Sidewalk Sunday.
A, it's Sunday.
And B, it's on a sidewalk.
With me so far?
Everything on the boardwalk is half-price.
Except for food and
drinks are like triple-price
'cause there's a big,
sweaty, hungry crowd.
And I'm not really
selling this, am I?
Well, trust me, it's better than it
sounds.
Hi, Lor.
Hi, Tish.
Hey, Carver.
- Hey, Murph.
- Hi!
Heya, Mur --
Ruh.
What was that?
Did you see that?
Did Murph just,
not say hi to me?
He probably just doesn't like you.
Doesn't like me?
Doesn't like me?
Doesn't like me?
That's crazy.
I'm Mr Likeable.
Ugh, now he's gonna do his "worry" thing.
I don't do a "worry" thing.
Do I do a "worry" thing?
Drumming fingers, wrinkly forehead,
rabbit mouth?
Like this.
Stand back and hold
on to your loved ones,
because this pie is gonna blow~!
Piece of junk.
Much better.
Why?
Why doesn't Murph like me?
Me?
Me?
Little ol' likeable me?
Because you're a little ol' freak?
Tino, you don't like him either!
Of course I, you know, you're actually
right.
I don't like him.
I can't stand him.
Okay, I'm letting it go.
I mean, what do I care?
I'm not even gonna think about
Murph!
Buddy!
Over here!
You can have my seat.
I'll sit on the floor.
Take my seat.
Ooh, ooh, take my seat!
Hey, Carver, Lor, Tish.
Hi, how are you?
Hey!
Murph, it's cool.
Sit down.
Okay, see ya.
He probably just didn't notice me.
I mean, I could understand if I had a
mustache.
I wouldn't like me then either.
You're obsessing.
But usually, everybody likes me.
I just don't get it.
Help me with this, okay?
Come on, aren't you gonna
do the Mom thing?
Alright, do you want "Wise and Kind" Mom
or "Life is Hard" Mom?
Can I get a combo?
Hard but kind?
Sure.
Tino, no matter what you do,
someone's not gonna like you.
In fact, I bet if you took a poll,
you'd find out Murph isn't the only one.
There's probably lots of
people who don't like you.
Ouch.
Where's that kind part?
I like you.
No, that's the embarrassing part.
And so, my mom said I should take a poll
of the whole city.
Your mom said that?
Absolutely.
Okay, sort of.
Anyway, I stayed up late and I made these.
Now, I need you guys to get people to
circle thumbs up or thumbs down.
Preferably, thumbs up.
And what exactly do we get out of this?
Well, once I collect all the data,
I'll shut up about it.
When do we start?
Likes me.
Likes me.
Likes me.
Like me.
Likes me.
Likes me.
Likes me.
Likes me.
No, no, no, no.
A thumbs down !
It's just one
from Nona.
Oh, is she serious?
Was it a joke?
It was a joke, right?
Sorry. But here's two more.
From Sid and Mrs Weems.
Ooh, the squeaky scream.
Sorry, it took me so long.
Thumbs up, thumbs up,
inflatable alien, thumbs up.
Aha!
Holding out on me, eh?
Okay, don't get excited.
99% really liked you.
I'm no math..ologist, but doesn't
that leave like one percent?
Oh, it was just Murph.
But you already know about him.
Murph.
Tino, you have to let this go.
Yeah, what are you gonna do?
Go door-to-door and
make these people like you?
Oh, no.
I don't like you 'cause of that
one time you stepped on my toes.
Well, your feet are kind of
Then you said my feet were big.
Um small, kind of very small.
Look, Nona, it was an accident.
I'm really sorry.
Okay?
Yeah, okay.
Super.
Then if you'd just change your thumbs down
to a thumbs up and initial here,
thank you.
Well, I marked thumbs down 'cause you never
returned that Chum Bukkit video I loaned you.
Okay, I'll give you back the video, plus
a Chum Bukkit t-shirt!
Well
But wait, there's more.
I'll throw in my 'Chum Bukkit:
Live from Camp David' CD.
And this attractive carrying case.
Deal.
Super.
Change and initial, please.
I don't like any young'uns!
They never help out us old folks.
Hey, hey, hey, I'm Mr Helpful!
Just tell me what I can do for you.
Nearly finished, Mrs Weems.
What a good boy.
And when you're done, you can do the back.
Dude, what are you doing?
I got the other three to like me.
So now I'm painting Murph's house.
He'll definitely be a
thumbs up after this!
Don't you think you're
going a little overboard, T?
I'm only doin' two coats.
Hey, why don't you just ask Murph
why he doesn't like you?
Are you nuts?
That'd be like, admitting defeat.
How can I
It's the man of the hour!
Murph-o, Murph-a-rooney, my ma-aan.
Okay, I'm doing like this
barbecue after Sidewalk Sunday.
And you guys should come over.
You three guys.
Oh, that's not my house.
You told me Murph lived here.
He did.
About six years ago.
You missed a spot.
You guys, this is really
important to Tino.
Maybe we should help him be more likable.
How?
We can't just show him slides of
all his faults and tell him to fix 'em.
Oh, no.
And as you can see,
gum chewing is not pretty.
And I care because
It is possible that some people consider
your gum chewing unpleasant.
Stop?
Each section of this chart
represents a problem area.
Your haircut, your worrisome nature,
your clumsiness, your
Um, begging now?
Relax.
We don't care about this stuff.
We like you just
'cause you're Tino.
But we're trying to help Murph like you.
If you just fix these minor faults
Forget it!
If I've got this many problems,
I'm surprised anyone likes me.
I'm leaving.
Okay, wait.
I live here.
So you leave?
This is the best Sidewalk Sunday ever.
I can't believe I got these
excellent pucca shells for only a buck!
No one ever mentions this again.
You guys, look!
Looks like he's still totally depressed.
We gotta do something.
Yep!
I got an idea.
Don't you have something
you wanna ask Murph?
What?
No, no, no, no.
Uh-uh, nope.
Fine, I'll do it.
Murph, how come you don't like Tino?
Well.
He poured a whole milk down my
sweatshirt on the first day of third grade.
But that wasn't me.
It was Tony Tortolero.
Doin' okay, Tony?
Sure!
Ha!
How could you possibly get us mixed up?
Tony, did the milk thing?
Ya-huh!
Him Tony, me Tino.
I knew it was just a little
misunderstanding.
So, we're buddies now, right?
No, still don't like you.
Why?
Everyone likes me.
Do you like me?
Do I?
I mean.
Do I?
Man, do I ever!
.. not like you.
Why don't you like me?
'Cause
I don't know.
Cause I just don't.
Well, same here.
Cause I just don't.
So we're even, right?
No big deal.
I guess not.
You don't like me and I don't like you?
We'll agree to disagree.
He doesn't like me.
He really doesn't like me!
We kinda knew that.
And look at me.
Not caring!
This is me, not caring.
Let it henceforth be known,
young Tino Tonitini hath reached an
unprecedented level of maturity.
Is that a beanbag Shakespeare?
Yes.
Unless that's really dorky
in which case it's a cat.
I just want to make one thing clear.
Over 99% of Bahia Bay likes me!
But, I know I can't expect
to be liked by everyone.
But what do I care if one guy doesn't like
me?
Or two?
What if there's three?
Ah!
Squeaky scream.
Later days.