What About Brian (2006) s02e15 Episode Script

Previously on "What about Brian" - Are you Jamie? - Yeah.
Maybe your new manny/boyfriend can come over and watch the kids.
He's not my boyfriend.
- You'll stay here.
- You want me to move back in? I'm not saying we should get back together or anything.
I'm just saying this is your home.
Women have caused me nothing but problems.
I, Adam Hillman, am taking a vow of celibacy.
- A vow of what? - No sex until I make partner.
Sorry about that.
I guess I should use my shower, but I wanted to ar Bella if she Of course.
She's sleeping like - What? - You've got a eyelash.
- morning.
- Morning.
This is a nightmare.
Sounds like a pretty sweet dream to me.
So how was it? You know, the sex? Would you stop? It's so stupid.
He's probably gay anyway, and if he's gay, then maybe I can stop dreaming about jumping his bones.
So find out.
Ask him if he prefers saturdays or sundays off.
What, to prove that he goes to church? Football.
Hello, what straight guy wants to work on a sunday? Gay guys like football.
- Name one.
- That's not the point.
The point is I'm having sex dreams about my nanny.
It's one thing to dream about a guy that you see at the car wash, soap all over your naked bodies and Nic - Hi.
- Hey, Dave.
You don't have to stop on account of me.
I think you were up to "naked bodies.
" - I just keep forgetting that you're back.
- Well, I'm not - We're not - Right.
No, he's here - for Carrie.
- Right.
So is it fun living together again? sure.
Yeah, we've been living together for 15 years, Nic.
It's not like we just met.
Deen, I need you to take the kids to school.
I gotta go to the office.
Emergency meeting.
Emergency? What, Mandy Muffin get arrested for drunk driving? I wish.
No.
You know that hostile takeover that K.
C.
'S been fighting? I guess they lost.
Are you sure it's not too short? It feels too short.
yes, I told you, it looks great.
It's just a haircut.
Relax.
- When are you getting back again? - Saturday.
I thought friday.
We were gonna do stuff this weekend.
Brian, we're the realtors for an entire company that's relocating their staff to L.
A.
Besides, you'll find something to do, as long as it's not Lucy or Ethel from downstairs.
I don't even talk to them.
I barely know their names.
They probably don't even remember what I look like.
When'd you get that great haircut? Hi.
Yeah, a couple days ago.
Thanks Stephanie Stephanie.
There's my car.
I hope you I got it.
I got it.
It's okay.
You do your thing with Stephanie.
Be good.
- Bye.
- I love you.
Love you.
So what's happening? The leak in the bathroom wall that you fixed? You didn't fix it.
It's sort of spraying into the living room.
- Wait, when you say "spraying" - A geyser.
I actually just want to warn you that Laura's on her way up here, and when water's gushing all over her couch, she tends to get a little Emotional.
Hey.
I tried to wrap it with duct tape.
- That's not gonna work.
- Gee, you think? I finally managed to turn off the water.
Did she tell you we're having a party tonight? We're having a party tonight.
Who has a party on a wednesday night? That's wacky.
Sorry.
I'll get my toolbox.
How about getting a phone book and calling a professional? I think the guy who gave you the cute haircut could probably do a better job.
You think it's cute? You don't think it's too short? It's fine.
We'll just have to move the party.
Maybe There's a bar we can take over.
We can't move the party.
The invites are out with our address.
Wait.
I got it.
She's got it.
We'll have the party here.
- You'll have it what? - It's perfect.
We can put the bar right here and leave a sign on the door : "Party upstairs.
" Absolutely no way.
It was for my movie, and everyone worked so hard for no money.
Please, Brian.
My girlfriend just left for 5 days.
I am not having a party with the hot chicks from downstairs the first night she's gone.
Please? late? Yeah.
Latte.
Go for medium drip, I'm on time.
Get the latte Yeah, me, too.
Late.
I went for the heels, and now they're killing me.
Have you ever worn heels? You know, for like, halloween or anything? Maybe.
They're torture, but we do it.
Makes the woman's leg look shapelier to the man.
Well, they do look shapely.
You're Dave Greco, right? Yeah.
- Have we met? - You don't remember? No.
I was your intern on "throttle autobahn" for 2 months.
Your hair was longer.
You were you were taller shorter.
You were a littlelittle shorter.
- You you were - Fat.
You can say it.
You work here now? You going to the big meeting upstairs? - Yes, and dreading it.
- Yeah, me, too.
You know - Do you mind? - No, not at all.
Hi.
I'm Natasha Drew, and K.
C.
Gaming is, as you guys have been told, being acquired by Gotham Enterprises.
Now we are aware that when a takeover of this nature happens, people often fear for their jobs.
This situation is no exception.
I'm sorry.
Who are you? I'm your new C.
E.
O.
Yeah.
Come on in.
Thanks.
Glad to see you, too.
- Yeah, I was just hoping you'd be - Peter Green, I know, but don't your breath, though.
He's already gone for the day.
- You're joking, right? - No, and to be honest from what I've been hearing I don't think you're getting on his team.
What? - What? - I'm sorry, man.
I put a frickin' Iowa hawkeyes bumper sticker on my car for that guy, and this is how he repays me? Said you didn't have what it takes.
He said what?! What?! You know, that's I-I quit! I quit! I'm just gonna go down to his office and tell him exactly how I feel.
- I totally think you should.
- Peter Green wouldn't know talent if it came up - and bit him right in the - Watch what you're about to say, Hillman.
Mr.
Green.
Gotcha.
I was gonna offer you a spot on the team but since you don't really like the Iowa Hawkeyes I love the hawkeyes.
Are you kidding me? My mom was a hawkeye.
My favorite character on "m-a-s-h" : hawkeye.
My favorite baseball player : Andre Dawson, "the hawk.
" All right, Hillman.
Relax.
You're in.
Really? Finish up whatever work you've got here because once you start working for me, you don't work for anybody else.
Congratulations.
That was fantastic! You should have seen your face, man.
You're like, "my mom's a hawkeye.
'The hawk.
' Hawkeye.
" Oh, come on, man.
Look come on.
I'll buy you lunch.
I'm having lunch with Brian and Dave, but you, You are dead man.
Bring it.
Dead man.
- Is she taking it? - No, she doesn't want the stupid bottle.
She wants to nurse.
Don't give up.
You'll go crazy if she doesn't learn the bottle.
Here, let me try.
Maybe if she can't smell you.
Smell me? What do I smell like? No, no, you smell nice like cookies.
It's vanilla.
I wear vanilla oil.
It's nice.
Have you looked at the nipples lately? - Excuse me? - Not those nipples.
The nipples on the bottles.
Sometimes the holes are too small.
She can't get the milk.
Do you like saturdays or football? What? Do you like men? Do I like what? What are you talking about? I-I-I'm just gonna come out and say it.
Are you gay? Yeah, I just let's just forget that I we had this conversation.
Ok? It's silly.
I'm just gonna go change a poopy diaper.
She used to be my intern.
We used to call her "fatty natty.
" That's not very nice.
Thanks for the tip, Felicity.
Wait, and now she's your boss? How does that even happen? I don't know, dude.
She got on the ground floor at some wild hound software and made a fortune in stock options.
She cashed in, went looking for a place to take over.
She found us.
Now she wants ideas, huh? I don't have one.
- What happens if you don't come up with anything? - I don't know.
I don't care.
Who am I kidding? She's not gonna take mine, right? She's probably still pissed off 'cause I called her fatty Tuna is the best you've ever had in L.
A.
, if you're in the mood for, like, a really good toro.
- Love toro.
- Isn't it the best? You calling me names again, Dave? No, I'm not calling you Relax.
I actually just want my shoes back.
Yeah.
I'll get those for you.
Those are pretty shoes.
Great-looking shoes.
So who are you guys? Sorry.
This is Brian Davis.
Adam Hillman.
Here's our new head honcho : Natasha Drew.
Nice to meet you.
Hi.
How's it going? I didn't see you in the morning meeting.
No, I don't work here.
I was just having lunch with my friends, Dave and Adam, but, Dave and I used to work together at zap monkey.
Zap what? Actually, I don't really care.
And you? Do you work here? No.
No, I'm just a lawyer who came for some lunch.
So if you're not my employee, I can ask you if you're single and not get sued, right? Right, yeah, I I am single, but I've taken a vow of celibacy.
I am not gonna even bother to ask you about that.
I wouldn't.
It's a really good idea to stay away from that.
Dave, 30 words or less, right? Yeah.
Good luck.
- What you doing? - Oh, me? Just trying to hook the fax line into this phone.
I figure we don't use it anymore, and this way, I have my own line.
That's a good idea.
Yeah, I got work calls, and you got the whole cupcake stuff so - good if we have our own lines.
- That's a good point.
So the girls asleep? I don't know if they're asleep, but they're definitely in bed.
It's nice to have you here, you know? I know.
It's nice to be back.
I got a stack of work I should probably get done.
I'm just gonna go take a bath, and it the hay.
Ok.
yeah.
Hi, honey.
How's Phoenix? Good.
Good.
What? Loud music.
Yeah, the girls are just having a party.
I'm just finishing up my repairs here.
No, I'm not staying.
I'm leaving right now.
Night.
Yeah, you missed.
Brian.
Hey.
I thought you said you weren't gonna look hot.
Oh, this old thing? I have a girlfriend.
I love my girlfriend.
I gotta say, ever since this vow of celibacy, things have really been clicking for me.
You should try it.
No, thanks.
I like the sex.
Thank you.
- Hi.
- Can I buy you a drink? yeah, sure but you have to know I'm not really dating.
Who said anytng about dating? He doesn't do that either.
He's celibate as a monk.
Oh, really? What a waste.
Oh, well.
Jimmy? Y-yeah.
Do I know you? Joanna.
Remember? Sorry.
I don't I don't really We met about a year ago at a boring law party.
- We did? - You did? We didn't.
At the bel-air hotel.
Yeah.
I remember that party.
Yeah, and then we, you know, had room service for breakfast.
I don't remember that part.
Jimmy, what's going on? Ok, first, I have never seen this woman before in my life.
I-I swear, and I don't know what the hell you I mean, you gotta believe me, baby.
She obviously you have me confused with some other brother with the big hair.
Jimmy, I'm sorry, but Gotcha.
- You did this.
- Yeah.
You have problems, man.
Bye, Jimmy.
Bye.
Now we're even.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi.
Did you work on the movie? Yeah, the movie.
Yeah, I was, I did the snacks.
I was the snack guy.
Hey, high five.
Hey, guys! Hey, snack guy's here.
Dave, close the door.
What the hell is going on here? Take off the headphones! What, are you throwing some kind of weird party, and you don't invite me? No, not me.
I am not having a party.
I'm not at this party.
You are my witness.
What are you doing here? I thought you were working at home.
Yeah, I was working at home, but then I hit a block.
I couldn't do anything, so I figured I'd come over here, and you could Sure, yeah, I can help.
- I got distracted.
- Distracted? I saw Deena naked.
Yeah.
Was he looking at you or parts of you? It wasn't what he was looking at.
It was how it felt to see him looking at me, how it felt to be looked at, and I think, desired by him.
Yeah.
It's funny because I remember the first time we did it, got naked together? God, it's so burned in my mind.
We were in his dorm room in college, and I just took my clothes off in front of him.
This this felt exactly like that.
What did he say after? He didn't say anything.
He just ran off to Brian's.
I don't know.
He probably isn't even thinking about it.
God.
What the hell am I doing, man? This is the most important assignment I've ever been handed, and I can't stop focusing about my naked wife, and you are enabling me.
- What? I am? - Yeah.
You are.
Enough.
Enough with the whole Deena thing, Bri.
Let's focus on the work.
What's the world want in a video game? What are you guys doing in here? Come out.
Join the party.
No, this is not our party.
It's your party, and Dave's got some very important work due tomorrow.
- What do you do? - Video games.
We used to have a company together.
I knew you weren't always a super.
Yeah, I was just Yeah, I was just giving it a little time before I broke the all-important news.
All right.
I should get going.
You sure? We're just getting started.
Yeah, no, it's been great, man.
Thanks for the help.
I once voiced a video game, but I'm not gonna tell you the character, because you guys will make fun of me all night.
Ok, now you gotta tell us.
Nope.
No way.
You know who you sound like? That the wizardess from Oh, God.
Here we go.
"Eternal lochs.
" She totally does, dude.
That's hysterical.
See you later.
- Bye, ladies.
- Bye.
Later Dave.
when I look into your magic stone - Say that.
Come on.
Say it.
- No - I'm not gonna say it.
- Wait, do the little wizard dance, it's like the egyptian thing, but, like, but weirder.
great party! Thanks! - whassup, man? - yeah, yeah.
Back off! - Whassup? - Hey, man, - screw up the car and take the stereo.
- Orale.
What are you doing? Sorry.
I saw your screen saver on your screen, and I was just interested in your game.
You a gamer? I don't really know anything about it, but this one seems kind of more interesting.
Really? Why's that? 'Cause it's a real person and not a troll or a stupid creature.
The person's trying to figure out how to survive in a crazy world that he can't understand.
Yeah, that's what I had in mind.
Me and Dave.
He's the computer head.
I just have stories.
So why are you the landlord? You mean only the landlord? It beats being a garbageman, right? it's just temporary.
You're the psych expert, but if I had to guess, I could probably come up with two options.
One : seems like something that would really piss off my dad, or two : I'm just stalling until I figure out what I really wanna do, or probably both.
Well, I Never actually said that out loud before.
I am exhausted.
Thanks for letting us have the party, Bri.
I promise we'll finish the cleanup tomorrow.
Yes, you will.
Do you mind if I sleep on your sofa? A couple of my friends are crashed out in my bed.
Go downstairs and get some sleep, Laur.
I'll do this.
They're my annoying friends.
Ok.
good night, you guys.
Night.
Night.
Do you have a t-shirt I could sleep in? Sorry.
My bad.
I thought you had your monitor off.
I-I guess I didn't hear it right away.
I think she's still half asleep.
Ok, well see you in the morning.
Yeah.
See you Then.
Nicole? Are you really comfortable with this? I'm actually a little cold.
I can see that.
That's not what I meant I'm a woman.
You're a man.
You can't deny that there was tension earlier between us and the good kind of tension but not so good when it's between me and my manny.
you call me your "manny"? Jamie, I think I think I'm gonna have to let you go.
right.
This was "death mall.
" I'm not sure I get it.
The idea is that you have to get your shopping done while avoiding zombies.
Like commentary on pushy salespeople.
It's cute, but not the one.
Next.
I remember this one : a nomad on a desert planet.
You have a very high-tech, complicated vehicle.
That's cool.
Actually I had a hard time boiling it down to 30 words.
Apparently.
Anyway, the gist of it It's not an oral presentation.
Yeah.
Not right.
Next.
Ping-pong.
Not so original.
There's this common perception that all gamers have to be fat.
Why would you say that? Wasn't this place a conference room, like, two days ago? Yeah.
We got enough of those.
I have to say, it was the first thing I noticed about K.
C.
Gaming No gym.
They think all us gamers are couch potatoes.
That was one thing I wasn't.
No, I was kind of a a sad, nervous girl who used food for a kind of drug.
Fatty Natty could never get a boyfriend or get her heart broken, 'cause Fatty Natty could never get a boyfriend in the first place.
I never called you "Fatty Natty.
" Ok, maybe once.
Is that why you rejected my idea? Is there even any point in me trying with you? I rejected it because I didn't see a great game in it.
How could you know that? You only read 30 words.
Why would I want to see any more when the first 30 words weren't interesting? Huh, Dave? Because, Natasha, th that's the best stuff.
That's the stuff that you find when you're making the thing, When you're developing it, the stuff you had no idea about when you were going in.
Do you think that michelangelo would have been commissioned for the "david" with "naked dude slight turn to the left, made of marble"? Look, Dave, you had some great things in your pitch.
You did.
But that's it.
Things.
Not a concept.
The truth is, I just I don't think you have it in you to make a great game.
I'm sorry, but I developed "throttle autobahn" by myself.
You were there.
You saw it.
I also saw you got a lot of help, too.
So what if you had one great game? You know that's more than most people.
Have you made anything by yourself since "throttle"? Anything that's seen the light of day? What's your problem? So what? Who cares? I called you "Fatty Natty.
" - Ok? You gotta get over it.
- I am over it.
I think you're the one who's not.
I get it, okay? I do.
Now you're working for the former fat girl who was your intern.
It can't be easy on the ego.
I understand.
But I have worked my ass off to get where I am today.
And I'm sorry if I passed you on the way up.
I really am.
Look at him.
So cute.
Go for it.
Make a move.
Life's too short.
You can't just sit around and wait for things to happen.
That was a lot of cliches.
You didn't make a move on the manny.
I sort of did.
I fired him.
- You did what? - What did he do? You put him in your dream.
He didn't just jump in there.
Honey, it wasn't his fault.
- I never said it was his fault.
- Do you miss him? I think I am gonna miss him.
Are you interviewing? Not yet.
I talked to the agency.
They said they'd send people over, but I'm just not ready.
I guess it's just his fault for being so sexy.
I don't need sexy in my house watching my baby.
I do.
Go for it! So how'd it go with natasha? fine.
- Fine? What happened? - Nothing happened, not except for me realizing that creating the next great video game might not be in my future.
What are you talking about? Nothing.
Just shoot.
Dave, you can't let her get to you.
That game we talked about's great.
Who cares what she thinks? I don't care.
I just I can't fight her, man.
I just basically need to keep this job.
I need the money.
I need the insurance, with Carrie and everything.
Maybe she's ght, man.
Maybe maybe I had my time in the sun.
Seriously, I'm fine.
Just shoot the ball.
No, I'm not gonna go until you stop talking this crap.
It's the way I'm feeling, Bri.
I'm sorry.
All right? I'm gonna get some air.
Hi, Bella.
What do you want to do today, Bella? You wanna go to the park with mama? You're mad at me, huh? You miss Jamie? Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
I had to do it.
But when you're 18, you can gond find him and marry him if you want to, but he just made mama feel happy.
I was gonna say "nervous," but "happy" came out.
Tell dad I'll talk to him later, ok? Okay.
Hey, friend of Dave Greco.
How are you? What'd you say to him? Excuse me? I don't know what you're talking about.
And I actually don't have a lot of time, but if you wanna ride up with me, it's your choice.
He's an incredible talent.
You can't make him fit his ideas in some neat little box.
Right.
He told me.
So why are you here? Because he's a friend, and he's great at what he does.
He deserves better than the way you treated him.
The way I treated him? I rejected his idea.
I'm not sure I'm responsible for the way he takes it.
I don't know what kind of games you're playing with him.
No games.
Maybe your friend can't do his job the way I want him to, which, by the way, isn't that hard.
And maybe you guys had magic at zip monkey zapWhatever.
Listen, the point is that he had cool ideas, but that's all he's got.
And that's not enough.
It's half the package.
Now he needs to put it all together.
This is a new K.
C.
Gaming.
He needs to step it up and show me what he has, or he's gone.
- All right.
I have an idea.
- What kind of idea? Just give me 5 more minutes.
All right, you guys ready? Let's go.
You all right? All right.
Hang on, baby.
We're gonna get our man back.
Jamie! Jamie! Nicole.
Hey.
Fancy meeting you here, huh? It's hot.
Do you already have a new job? No, of course not.
These are these are my brother's kids, Vanessa and Cort.
Hi, kids.
Look, this is the little baby I used to take care of, guys.
Jamie Bella she just she can't talk or anything, but I know she really, really misses you.
And can I un-fire you? Ok, you know what? You're gonna tell me who you voiced in that game you did right now, or I'm kicking you both out and keeping the drinks.
- Are you threatening us? - Yes.
I'm still not gonna tell you.
You know what? Think of it as an audition.
I could hire you right now.
You never know.
It was "harry who-dun-it.
" What? You were gonna tell him, anyway.
You know you can't keep a secret.
True.
"Harry who-dun-it"? "A clue is ahead.
A clue is ahead.
" No, try "A clue is ahead.
A clue is ahead, is ahead.
" That's too weird.
Harry's in my apartment.
A toast to harry.
How about one more toast to Brian? Enough already.
Come on.
Ok, one more.
There she is.
Hi.
So what are we toasting? And please tell me it's not still about the haircut.
Well, I Don't be modest.
Brian got a job at K.
C.
Gaming.
That's great.
Dave, I'm gonna make a milkshake.
You want me to make for two? Yep, sure.
Whatever's left.
I'll be right in.
Okay.
What, are we just bombed? I sort of slipped.
Let me help you out with this stuff here.
-Thanks.
You know what? I got it.
Thanks.
Your milkshake's melting.
Yeah.
I got a bunch of work I gotta get done.
Thanks.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Where you going? - To the gym.
I was kind of hoping we'd get a few minutes this morning.
I'm sorry.
The 405 was a crawl.
My back is killing me.
I really need to work out.
- You all right? - Yeah, just tired.
- Bridge.
- Yeah? I thought you'd be more excited for me, getting a job.
And I kind of thought I'd be a little bit more part of the process.
I'm just feeling a little distance.
That's all.
You were out of town it was distance.
so you had to get 2 new roommates to replace me while I was gone for a couple of days? Is that what this is about? Them? Forget it.
Hey.
- Hey.
- What are you doing here? You'd never believe what your neighbor charged me for this great view of the copy room.
What are you talking about? You know that person in H.
R.
gives the I.
D.
Badge? - Is it a he or she? - Depends on what week.
What the hell are you talking about? Meet your new cubicle-mate.
Is this a joke? No.
Wait a second.
H-how did When What?! Don't worry about it.
Just know we're back together working again.
- Are you kidding me right now? - No.
- You're not kidding me? - No.
Brian, I could kiss you.
And it's not just 'cause of the hair.
Yeah, don't do that.
Hug.
Check it out.
Shoot it to me.
Fantastic.
I can't believe it, buddy, that's awesome.
Take a picture.
It's like the making of "vision state" all over again.
Ok, can someone explain to me what's going on here? Ask your friend.
He was practically begging for a job.
You knew about "vision state"? Of course I did.
Did you really think I had never heard of Zap Monkey? I'm not an idiot, Brian, you know? - I knew all about you guys.
It's part of my job.
- So you the whole time knew who I was and made Dave feel worthless so he'd - so we'd both think - not think.
It's because you are better together.
Dave made himself feel like he was worthless.
That was not me.
So this was your plan the whole time, to get Brian here? - Yeah you could've just offered me a job.
- Yeah, no kidding.
Yeah, I could've, but that's not really how I like to do things.
I'll tell you what, dude.
She is one tough nut to crack.
Yeah, but easy on the eyes.
But don't go there.
It doesn't end well.
Trust me.
So you've been on Peter's team for a whe, huh? - Hanley, right? - Yeah.
Peter's the best.
He's the reason I'm here, literally.
He is awesome.
- All right.
It's all yours.
- Great.
- This one's yours.
- Thanks.
Thanks.
Very funny.
What? That's great the different dates.
- Was that Jimmy's idea? - What are you talking about? Making that look like tampering with evidence.
Peter said you'd be a good fit on this team.
He thinks you're a guy who knows what it takes to get things done.
Are you? Right.
That's that's me.
Good.
Hello? Hi.
It's it's me.
- Are you - downstairs.
Yes.
This is weird.
No, it's not weird.
I kind of like it.
It saves me a trip upstairs.
You know when I I saw you the other day, upstairs, I - Naked? - Yeah.
I started to remember I don't know, a lot of stuff.
Yeah.
Me, too.
That's why I was calling.
I wanted to ask you something.
Sure.
What's up? I wanted to ask you on a date.
Like a real date.
You know, like, we just met or something.
Do you want to? Do you want to? I am the one who is asking, Dave.
Yes.
Yes, I do.
Mommy! Great.
One of the girls is up.
Hold on a second.
You got kids? Bye.
Bye.
You're a great nanny.
The best.
I'm sorry about firing you.
It was just really dumb.
The truth is that that I had this dream the other night, and it sparked these thoughts, and, well, it was It was sexual.
The dream it was a sex dream about us - having sex.
- Right but it didn't really mean anything, 'cause I'm still very hormonal, and you're the only guy around.
So I think it was just my brain putting together these elements that were just crazy.
- Crazy? - Crazy, yeah, 'cause it was something that would never happen in reality.