Wonder Woman (1976) s02e15 Episode Script

Diana's Disappearing Act

All right, men, take it in.
Well, again we have defied the laws of nature.
We have turned base metal into precious gold.
You are late, Morgana.
Perhaps, Count Cagliostro.
But I have fulfilled my mission.
I see.
And Diana Prince still has the pendant? Nimler, that Judas.
He sent it to her in order to expose what I'm doing.
Nimler is dead.
We have no way of knowing if it was him or not.
Nor do we know what else he may have told her which is why we must move quickly.
Bring me the pendant and bring me Diana Prince.
Take another in.
Will the bell captain please report to the front desk? Mr.
Robert Hudson, you have a message at the front desk.
Miss Prince, His Serene Exalted Highness Mustafa ben Hassim, the Emir of Quiana.
I am humbled by your beauty.
No more than I am humbled by meeting one of the most powerful men in the world.
An exaggeration.
Of course, not entirely untrue.
Then it is true that the oil countries take their cue from you? Beautiful woman wishes to discuss the worldwide price of oil? You've got to realize that the world couldn't afford prices like that and it could cause an economic disaster.
Your Serene Highness.
- We shall talk later.
- Yes, we shall.
- Excuse me.
- Yes.
I think that's a real bummer.
The IADC has no right making you butter up to a 24 karat yuck like that emir.
I think you've got me confused with somebody else.
You have me confused all the time, but not about who you are.
You're Diana Prince, the spy from IADC.
That sound we just heard, that was you blasting my cover.
Tonight, I'm supposed to be just a pretty face, thank you.
Honorable guests, for your amusement, we present a maestro of magic.
He'll be appearing later this week at this fine hotel as part of the International Symposium for the Conjuring Arts.
But for now, come gather for Jazreel the Great.
My name is Harold Farnum.
My dad's Congressman Farnum.
I came here tonight just to meet you.
Would you like a drink? Well, actually Jeez, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
I wasn't thirsty, anyway.
I really wanted that trick to work.
I thought it'd break the ice between us.
"Us"? I've been dying to meet you since you moved to the block.
I live at Number 73.
That's nice.
See you in the neighborhood.
Are you here on assignment? Can I help? Somebody you want tailed, documents copied? Nimble-fingered Farnum, they call me.
Thank you, Harold.
If I need you, I'll call you, okay? For my first demonstration, I will need the assistance of a beautiful young lady.
Mademoiselle, would you mind if I made you disappear? Go ahead, Miss Prince.
You can't get hurt.
It's an old trick.
Mesdames et messieurs the magic chamber is empty.
Solid.
No false doors.
Mademoiselle, if you will.
I shall say the magic words, and before your very eyes this beautiful young lady will disappear into thin air.
She's wearing the pendant.
Get her out of here.
And now it is time to summon our beautiful young friend back to us.
You must know what happened to the magician.
And where is Miss Prince? Young man, I implore you to temper your remarks.
I won't temper anything until you tell me what happened.
I know how that trick works and I want to go into your basement and see for myself.
- You can save yourself the trip.
- You're okay.
I was worried.
You're a magician.
You should know I'd turn up sooner or later.
I'd like to speak with Jazreel.
He has performed a true feat of magic.
He has made himself disappear.
My men looked for him everywhere.
Well, Your Excellency, I appreciate your trouble.
Thank you.
Mr.
Gate, please call the operator.
This is what the magician was after? That's what Diana said.
It was mailed to her less than a week ago.
She's checking out the box it came in.
It looks ordinary enough to me.
Maybe I ought to have it analyzed.
Would you like me to run it over to Dr.
Hutchins? - Very nice, if you would.
Thank you.
- Well, I don't know.
You sent Diana to find out what the oil producers were up to and she almost wound up kidnapped.
That's true.
Stay away from anybody selling oil.
It's the ones carrying the magic wands that worry me.
Have you all turned against me? Where is Diana Prince? Count, we followed your orders.
The driver swears Wonder Woman tore open the crate and got her out.
We have less than 48 hours before I'm to deliver the gold to my buyer.
We're prepared to do whatever you ask, maestro.
All we know for sure is someone is after it, and in a big way.
If the problem lies in the analysis of this pendant you can rest assured I'll find it.
That's why we came to you.
After all, they don't give Nobel Prizes for attendance records.
Or modesty.
Call Diana the minute you find something.
Then she'd better stay close to the phone.
I doubt if this will take me long.
That's why we came to you, Dr.
Hutchins.
Same address: "Falconi's House of Magic.
" The merchandise here is competitively priced, not too high or low.
Harold, have you been following me? You mean, have I been tailing you.
You can say that stuff.
I know all the jargon.
Yes, I have been tailing you.
Frankly, I was worried.
That magician at the hotel was up to something that isn't in any of the books I've read.
I really do appreciate your concern, but as you can see, I'm okay.
You sure are.
Harold, I'm fine.
So you can go home.
Please, I'm already here.
If you're investigating this store, maybe I can help.
- Remember, I am an expert.
- Okay.
Somehow, I do get the feeling that I'd be better off knowing exactly where you are.
Let's go.
What about the address in the box? Sorry, it doesn't mean a thing.
This place has been Falconi's House of Magic now for 20, 25 years.
I've bought cards here, Chinese boxes.
Even trick hats.
Speaking of which The box means nothing to you? I'll ask around.
You like that trick? Yeah, I sure do.
That's the longest streamer I've ever seen.
- I'll make you a good deal.
- I may just have to take it.
What about the name Goldblatt? Sorry.
I can't help you.
Just a second.
I would like the box back, if you don't mind.
- Sorry.
- I'm sure.
I've seen too many disappearing acts, as it is.
Thank you very much.
Come on.
Just a second, Diana.
Coming.
What's he gonna do now? Diana Prince, please.
This is Dr.
Hutchins at the University.
It is imperative that I speak with her.
No, she wouldn't want me to leave a message.
Just tell her that I found some very startling test results.
I'm on my way to your headquarters.
The undergraduate level is down the hall and on your left.
I'm sorry, I really don't have time for this right now.
No, I'm sorry.
I don't have any spare change.
You brought your own.
Case of inflation.
I'm sorry.
I've really got to go.
All right, one more.
All right, man! His face.
- That looks like Prof.
Hutchins.
- I think you're right.
He did leave word that his results were startling.
They must have been more than that if he burned them.
We can't be sure these are his notes.
They're almost completely burned.
The way we've torn up Hutchins' lab we're going to seem foolish if he shows up all of a sudden.
Look, he was due at the IADC Headquarters yesterday.
His car is still in the parking lot and nobody can find him.
Chances are, he may never show up.
Bob, take care of that.
Did you find anything in the files? Lots of good things on Hutchins and fan mail.
Fan mail? Did you know that scientists have groupies? Not till I met Hutchins.
I might have found something outside, but I'm not sure.
A student swears that he saw Hutchins performing in a mime troupe.
- Hutchins was performing? - That's what the student swears.
With a guy and a girl.
And the guy was a magician.
A magician.
With a white face, and I think he said he had a battered top hat.
Where's the troupe now? Off campus somewhere, I guess.
I didn't see them.
Call Diana and have her track them down.
Maybe the magician is the same one that was at the reception.
Tell her that wherever Hutchins is, he must have the pendant - because it isn't here.
- Okay.
You don't know what an honor it is to have you as my guest, Dr.
Hutchins.
I demand that you let me go! Your work in metallurgical fusion was an inspiration to us.
Your re-synthesizing process was a keystone of our own humble efforts.
I warn you, I'll see that it goes hard with you.
The pendant that was given to Diana Prince, where is it? You'll get nothing from me.
Time is running out, Doctor.
For both of us.
You shall tell me what I want to know.
I'll give you nothing.
Nothing at all.
I see.
So you force my hand.
Perhaps it's just as well.
It has been some time, Dr.
Hutchins since we had a customer in our little Chamber of Horrors.
Attention, please.
The Magic Symposium Will be held in the living room at 8:00.
"Conjuring Arts"? To be specific, conjuring is the art we practice.
The term "magic" can even be applied to witchcraft.
I'll try to remember.
If you have any other questions, just ask me.
I am your consultant on this case, after all.
Harold, I only thought that you'd be able to help me find that mime magician who may have kidnapped Dr.
Hutchins.
I really didn't think that we'd wind up at a symposium.
But every magician for 500 miles is here.
I know.
Unfortunately, finding needles in haystacks isn't my forte.
- That's Morgana La Fay.
- I know.
But somehow I don't think she's the street mime we're looking for.
I used to be so in love with her.
But that was before I met you.
You're going to hyperventilate, and if you faint I'll have to carry you.
I know you're on spy business but I hope we're here long enough to catch the great Count Cagliostro.
- I thought he quit performing.
- Cagliostro? - No, it couldn't be - Diana? It's just that I remember Cagliostro from the 18th century.
Come in.
Maestro, are you sure you should allow yourself this public appearance? My dear Morgana if I were not to perform for my colleagues, it would only arouse suspicion.
You have the information I obtained from Hutchins? I know where the safe is, yes.
Then use this to open it and bring the pendant to me.
Take care with that.
It is highly explosive.
Ladies and gentlemen, that was very magnificent.
They're waiting for you.
Diana, I think the guy with the battered hat could be here.
Okay.
Now, listen.
You watch the magician, and I'll watch the audience, okay? Thank you.
And now I would like to ask this volunteer to come up from the audience and load this revolver with three silver bullets.
He will attest to the fact that they are real bullets, not blanks.
Distinguished members of this body have already examined the bottles.
- Is it loaded? - Yes.
Would you hand it to the lady, please? Thank you.
Morgana, I await your pleasure.
Now take careful aim, lest it be the last time we perform this trick.
You know what the targets are.
On the count of three.
One, two, three.
Stay away from me.
There's a bomb in here.
You must tell the truth.
All right, now where is Dr.
Hutchins? I don't know.
- Cagliostro didn't tell me.
- Cagliostro? He's behind this? I receive my instructions from him.
- He gave me the explosives.
- What were you going to do with those? Open the safe in Hutchins' lab and remove the pendant.
Why? What does Cagliostro want with the pendant? I don't know.
Where is the safe? Behind the north wall in the laboratory.
In 10 seconds, go inside call the police, and surrender yourself to them.
Your Highness.
You're late.
I had a previous engagement.
Are you prepared to deliver the gold you promised us? Do you speak for yourself, or for the other heads of state? Are all the oil-producing nations in agreement? Do you know what you're forcing us to do? We have to raise the price of oil to buy your gold.
I don't think the world can meet our demands.
Then forget about my silly little ingots of solid gold which I'm making available to you at less than half the current market price.
Don't delude yourself or me, Emir.
You and your friends are willing to jeopardize the world's economy in order to line your vaults with gold.
Let your avarice be your guide.
It is agreed.
You agreed.
We agreed.
And the payments? Down payment of $10 million has been deposited in your account in Switzerland.
I am a man of honor.
You shall have the gold within two days.
I promise you.
It's lead.
All goes perfectly, Morgana.
We shall produce the gold we need in ample time to meet our deadline.
You know what'll happen to these ingots.
You know what's happened before.
But we've improved on the process.
It takes longer each time.
It doesn't matter.
It will still happen.
But not until after I have sold the gold to the Emir and become richer than all the Cagliostros before me dreamed possible.
What is it, my darling? You seem almost eager for my project to fail.
The more that gold enters your life, the more I seem to leave it.
Nonsense, my darling.
Ira's analyzing the pendant Wonder Woman found in Hutchins' lab.
I have computed my evaluation.
Both Diana and I figure it's lead.
Affirmative.
And negative.
What do you mean? It can't be yes and no.
Is it lead or not? Spectroscopic analysis reveals an 87.
06 lead content and 11.
73 gold content.
The remainder is composed of trace metals and oxides.
Hold it.
You mean there is gold in that pendant? Correction.
Lead content now 87.
52 and increasing.
According to you, the pendant is turning to solid lead as we stand here.
Affirmative.
You mean, the pendant used to be gold and now it's turning to lead? Affirmative.
My calculations indicate that at one time the object was solid gold.
Then when Eve gave the pendant to Dr.
Hutchins, it was gold.
It was the same pendant.
Illogical conclusion.
Is it possible that the pendant was lead at one time? Affirmative.
Not only possible, but probable.
Alchemy.
In this day and age.
Alchemy, the medieval science Which tried to change base metals, such as lead, into gold.
All right, Ira.
The subject is now alchemy.
What name pops into your memory bank? Count Cagliostro.
Name first adopted by Guiseppe Balsamo.
Born Palermo, Italy, 1743.
A fake, swindler, alchemist, you name it.
- You an expert? - Let's just say I've done my homework.
Especially after I talked to our agent in Zurich.
Why? What did he say? All the oil producers are transferring funds to their Swiss banks.
It's supposed to go to a special account held by Count Cagliostro.
Cagliostro? A descendant of the original.
Magic and swindling are family traditions.
You think he's the one turning lead into gold? Someone sent me that pendant to get me on his trail.
We better find him before his billion-dollar con pays off.
You're not kidding.
He's operating in the area.
We're sure.
I'm working on a couple of leads right now.
Good.
In the meantime, I think it's time I introduced myself to the Emir of Quiana.
- This is an outrage! - It's an emergency.
Never before have I been so rudely torn away from my daily enterprises.
- My men will drop you at the race track.
- By then, five of my horses would've run.
Sit down.
We're going to talk about three things: gold, the price of oil, and Cagliostro.
The first two I am familiar with, of course but Cagliostro? That's a name I do not know.
You're not that lucky, Your Highness.
I want you to be careful about any merchandise you buy from him.
- Merchandise? - That's right.
Thanks to Diana Prince, we've put it all together.
You're planning on increasing the price of oil to pay for the gold you're buying from Cagliostro at a discount.
Why, I don't even know- A simple reminder, Your Highness one you may discuss with Cagliostro the next time you see him: You get only what you pay for.
That pompous little moron doubts my word? It's Diana Prince.
She and the IADC have put him up to it.
Perhaps it's time for you to take what you have and leave.
No, it is not enough.
The world has much to pay for.
The Cagliostros have been exposed to 200 years of scorn and ridicule.
A great deal could happen in the next few hours.
Yes.
I can destroy Diana Prince once and for all.
Now you see it.
Now you don't.
The hand, of course, has always been quicker than the eye.
- Okay, which one is the pea under? - This one.
I've never seen that before.
Just got flunked in Psych 2.
Next show at 4:00.
Mr.
Farnum, you certainly got here fast.
- Is Miss Prince all right? - This way, please.
- Is something wrong? - No, nothing at all.
- Open up! - Welcome, Mr.
Farnum.
Count Cagliostro! I always respected you.
And well you should.
I am the greatest magician in the world.
And you, my young friend, will assist me in the finale of my current engagement.
You will help me to capture Diana Prince and crush her.
You, I'm afraid, are helpless victims of circumstance.
If an ex-employee of mine hadn't tried to alert Diana Prince of my plans neither of you would be here.
Your employee sent her the pendant.
He hoped to lead her to the magic shop, believing that ultimately she would expose the little problem I have with my gold.
"Little problem"? No one can or ever will be able to change worthless metals into gold.
Perhaps not, Dr.
Hutchins.
But I have come close enough to have my gold change me into the richest man of all time.
Diana Prince is on to you, Cagliostro.
And I knew that magic shop was a setup.
I have a homing device sewn into my left sock.
The whole IADC is probably outside right now.
An amusing idea, Mr.
Farnum.
But let's not wait for Miss Prince to come storming over the walls.
I have a much more civilized rendezvous in mind.
What are you going to do? Watch closely.
Prince here.
I have a call for you from Harold Farnum.
He says it's urgent.
Okay, patch him through.
- Diana, is that you? - Harold? I'm glad I got you.
Listen, I think I got a lead for you.
But you got to come quick.
Meet me down on Orchid.
You know where that old, deserted House of Horrors is? - Yeah.
- Great.
See you there in half an hour.
I think I will send a friend instead.
You're a real louse, Cagliostro.
I thought I was rather good.
Impersonation has always been one of my minor talents.
I'm telling you, if you do anything to hurt Miss Prince- - Take them downstairs.
- What are you going to do with us? Out of courtesy, I shall wait for Miss Prince.
And then I shall drown the three of you like rats.
You're going to destroy them? - That's of no concern to you.
- Like you did Nimler? - Nimler was a traitor.
- But these are innocent people.
They are in my way.
Now I have a reception to arrange, if you don't mind.
Of course, Count Cagliostro.
I got it.
I know how we can get out.
See if your homing device will transmit Morse code.
No.
Everything I need is here except I got to have another.
You got a pencil? You gonna write a letter of protest to the Magicians' Guild? No.
I'm going to make a carbon arc torch and cut through that door.
I can see the headline now: "Nobel Prize-winning metallurgist drowns with Houdini, Jr.
" - Wonder Woman! - Morgana, spare me any more tricks.
Just tell me where Hutchins and the boy are.
They're in a cell in the basement, and you'd better hurry.
- I told you, no more tricks.
- It's the truth.
Cagliostro plans on killing both of them, and Diana Prince.
- In fact, I was on my way to warn her.
- Is Cagliostro in there, too? Yes, he is.
With his gold.
The Emir is going to pick up the shipment.
- Not if I can help it.
- Wonder Woman, you'd better be careful.
Cagliostro's a magician, the best.
He even had me fooled.
Thank you, Morgana.
Do I still need to warn Diana Prince? - Maybe you'd better.
- Okay.
See? I told you it would work.
Great.
In five short years, we'll be free men.
- Wonder Woman! - There's a door just outside to your right.
Get to a phone, call Steve Trevor at the IADC.
Tell him to meet me here with the police.
Hurry.
This last pallet completes the shipment, as agreed.
Yes.
Within 10 minutes, my bank will make full payment to your account.
Very good.
So, Wonder Woman you return to thwart the Cagliostros, as you have for centuries.
But this time, you shall lose.
You have it backwards, Cagliostro.
I've already won.
What's happening? You were about to make a big mistake, Your Highness.
That gold you think you're buying will turn to lead within two days.
Lead? - So, now, Cagliostro- - No, Wonder Woman! I am not my father, nor any of my ancestors.
This is one Cagliostro who shall escape you.
Stop her! Police! You're under arrest.
- Steve, Cagliostro's gone.
- Gone? The gold is in the Emir's truck.
You were going through with the deal despite our warning.
That swindler! True, but you were willing to destroy the world's economy for personal gain.
My bank.
In less than 10 minutes, it will make payment to Cagliostro's account.
I've got to stop it! Thanks, Wonder Woman.
Get these two out of here.
Wonder Woman this is for getting me and Dr.
Hutchins out of that cell.
I did it! Why couldn't Diana have been here? I'll make sure she hears.
You actually did a trick and it worked.
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