About a Boy (2014) s02e16 Episode Script

I don't mind letting you drink for free, Will, but the margin on olives is very thin, so Oh, well, I'm making a point here, Liz.
Each one of these olives represent a time that we've hung out together here at work.
- Aw.
- Mm-Hmm.
So this is our one, two, three Fourth date! No, no, no.
Not a date.
No, a date is when you go out with someone to someplace other than their place of work.
What we've had are visits.
Now, on our first visit, you told me all about your son.
And on our second visit, you told me about how you lost your virginity and that abomination that you call a pinkie toe.
In all seriousness, I love actually hanging out with you, but we need to go on a date date - what's going on? - I know, I know, I know, but Will, I am a single mom working two jobs, and I have to tell you, I have been burned before by guys with baggage and messy, emotional attachments.
There was a guy who was divorcing his wife and then a guy who lived with his mom and then the guy who bought lingerie for his sister.
- Yikes.
- Yeah, that happened.
I need a guy with no drama, no surprises.
That is me.
That's totally me.
I don't even have a sister.
Yeah, but everybody, every single person has their something, and I have yet to figure out what yours is.
I'm sorry.
I am just this charming, drama-free gentleman you see before you.
- Really? - Mm-Hmm.
So no something? Nothing weird? - Better take this.
- All right.
Hello? Don't hello me! Where are you? Fiona is not taking this breakup with Mr.
Chris well at all! Heartbreak be gone! Happiness return! Heartbreak be gone! Happiness return! Andy, what the hell is going on there? The doula session has gone dark, Will.
That's what going on! Well, you're the one who wanted your umpteenth kid delivered by a fake, baby-helping person.
She's touching me again, Andy! I just want to listen to the sound of a heart that's never been broken.
Hey.
What was all that? Oh, cable guy.
Yeah, scheduling snafu.
Yeah, I gotta run but, uh, you were about to agree to go on a date with me.
I want to.
I really do.
But what free time I do have, I mostly just spend it running errands.
We could do that.
I love errands.
You want to run errands with me? Well, I want to do a lot of things with you, Liz, but we can start there.
We can start with errands.
Okay, let me think about it.
You know, we can do some of my errands too.
You can help me pick out a nightie for my mommy.
Here we go.
Well, maybe it's the common curse maybe things get bad before they get worse I don't want to become someone who can't live up to what I already done, don't the kid is back, is back on track he's the underdog, he's coming out on top, and Okay, here you go.
I made you some hot tea.
And I whispered happy thoughts into its steam.
And I only judged it silently.
Oh.
Sorry and thank you.
I just miss Chris so much.
Well, I Are you showing me affection? Just support.
Yeah.
Yeah, but caring support.
Well, talking about it makes it--makes it weirder.
But honestly, you know, Fiona, I know it may not seem like it now but there's gonna come a day where all this pain you feel is just gonna go away.
And that day is tomorrow! Tomorrow is when we do our reflection ritual.
Yeah, it's this amazing thing that Marcus and I do to heal when we've been through a significant emotional challenge.
You should do it with us, Will! No, that seems unnecessary.
What an excellent idea! Oh, my gosh! Yes! You can mourn the loss of Dr.
Sam, and we could grieve our losses together.
Actually, I'm good.
I'm good.
I've been there, mourned that, you know.
All right, Marcus and I will just do it alone Forever and ever-- I'm not gonna pretend.
I'm doing the the ritual with you.
Whatever you guys need, I'm gonna help out, okay? I'm gonna-- I'm your guy.
Lovely, lovely.
Thank you.
Group hug? Okay.
Let's bring it in here.
Make it quick.
Let met get this.
Just one more minute.
- Oh, that's enough for one-- - Oh, no, no, no, no, no! We're just starting the healing here, guys.
Hey-o! Whoa! Everybody's in black.
I kind of like it, guys.
You're looking good.
Shh.
The Reflection Ritual starts with the Morning of Mourning.
And what is that? It is a time of quietude from the European monastic tradition of the daily great silence.
Okay, well, is there any room in the tradition for Asiago-- fasting? Ah, ah, ah, ah! Uh Okay, all right, well, um, how long does this whole, uh, monistat 7 silence thing last? Not long.
Just until we dig the Memory Hole.
The what, now? Wow.
You're really good at digging, Will.
Just out of curiosity, what is the Memory Hole for? Well, when it's deep enough, Mom will throw in all the things that remind her of Mr.
Chris.
And how do we know when it's deep enough? Well, the depth of the Memory Hole is directly proportionate to the depth of Mom's despair.
_ Ugh.
Wow.
It's like that dirt did something to you.
The Morning of Mourning is complete! All right, what do you think, Mom? Is the Memory Hole deep enough? Oh, yeah.
That's great.
Ooh, I was gonna do this alphabetically to-- to throw them in, but I think there might be some merit to a chronological disposal.
_ There's no place for texting on the Day of Reflection, Will.
Oh, sorry.
Okay, let's do this! Let's throw all of Chris's crap in the hole and get to it.
Maybe throw a couple of these in there.
- I'll take this box.
- No, hey, hey! No! You take each item and give it its proper valediction.
Definition? Basically, Mom gives a eulogy of every item.
Every item? "Two households, "both alike in dignity "in fair Verona "where we lay our scene.
"From ancient grudge breaks new mutiny.
" Oh, dear Sorry, sorry.
Go on.
- What's wrong? - I just, uh-- Romeo and Juliet, you know, two lovers burdened by circumstance and time, it just reminds me of me and Sam, you know.
- Aw.
- Maybe I haven't properly mourned what happened with us.
And I just feel like-- I'm a wreck.
Look at me.
Well, you do seem pretty sweaty.
I-I think I should-- I think I should burn some of her stuff too.
It's so brave of you to face your emotions and purge your painful memories.
Yeah.
It's so painful.
The thing is, uh, a lot of her stuff is in a storage unit in Oakland.
I'll go grab that now.
- In Oakland? - Yeah, it's about an hour away, two, three with traffic, so it shouldn't be too long.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'll tell you what.
I'll eulogize Chris's stuff while you're getting Sam's stuff, and then we'll have our ceremonial burning together.
Really? You would wait for me? - I would.
- I'll be right back.
Man, there's gonna be so much healing today.
I know! Hey.
I heard it was laundry day, so I got you a little gift.
Laundry detergent.
Mm-Hmm, with microbial stain blockers.
Ooh, microbial stain blockers are so hot.
So hot.
Ah! You okay? It was him or me.
Oh, sexy boots.
Oh, sabered Prosecco.
No pro-seconds for me now.
Ooh! All right I'm very good at-- No, what are you doing? Here, fold a T-shirt.
I'll refold this.
You didn't do this right.
No.
I got it.
- I'll do this one.
- Stop.
- Two limes! - And an apple.
- One apple! - Two avocados.
- Two avocados! - Get there.
Carrots.
Is he coming? I don't know.
Paper towels coming! Get it! Yeah! Dear flute.
You really have blown your last note of love.
_ Free samples? Oh, that's great.
I could do something like that.
Okay.
Uh, you're supposed to-- No.
I had so much fun with you today.
Me too.
I think next time we step up our game.
You know what? I think you've earned something a little more romantic.
- Really? - Mm-Hmm.
Oh, too bad my next day off isn't for two weeks You know, we could always try to get you fired.
Yeah, we could do that! I'll fire you.
Ah, I wish I could stay, but I have to go pick up my son from this birthday party.
I would give you $1.
8 million to spend another hour with you.
Wow.
That came out way more prostitute-y than I intended.
- It did.
- It did.
Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- I'll be right back.
- All right.
Hey, buddy.
What's going on? Why haven't you replied to any of my texts? Um, well, I'm in Oakland.
You try getting a good signal in Oakland.
You're still coming back, right? Uh, I'm coming back right now.
Uh, I'll see you soon, buddy, okay? On my way! Hey! Great news! My son called, and he wants to stay at the birthday party for a few more hours, so what do you want to do? A few more hours? Well, I-- well, I don't want you to get sick of me.
Too much of a good thing, you know what I mean? Mmm How about you show me your place? My place? Yeah.
Uh Um Uh-oh! Surprise inspection! - No, no, no.
- What every man fears! Are you up for that? Or are you afraid I'm gonna find something I don't like? We are going to my place, all right? - Yeah? - That's a perfect idea.
- I love it.
- Okay.
Let's go to my place.
- Okay.
- Wow.
What a nice place.
Let's take a look.
- Oh! - Ooh.
Hey, why no lights? Yeah, we're in a drought.
Why are you whispering? Oh, um--yeah, my neighbors have a newborn and he's real sensitive, you know.
Anything wakes him up, so Oh, is that why we parked all the way down the street? Totally, yeah, totally.
He's real sensitive to the-- you know, the hum of a German motor.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I think, if I'm being honest, that it's kind of a, you know, a vibrational thing, when I think about it, but let's head upstairs.
Okay.
Uh, hey, Will, I just, um-- I just have to say, it's kind of been a long time since I've been with a guy.
And it's definitely been a long time since I've felt this way about one, so I just wanted you to know that.
Uh, I appreciate that.
Let's go.
Careful, you may wake the baby.
Lighten your steps.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, hey, um--I'm gonna-- you go upstairs.
I just got to run back to-- You know, the baby-- the baby is-- the whole thing's happening.
Okay.
Marcus.
Where are you? Sorry, man, I am just in the gnarliest traffic.
Um, do you mind delaying the ceremonial burning? It's gonna take me probably about an hour.
- An hour? - Actually, you know what? It's been a while since I've done it, so Probably 45 minutes, maybe.
- What? - What? Nothing, nothing.
I'm gonna be there as soon as I can, bud, all right? Right as I get through the traffic.
So what item of Sam's did you bring to burn? Uh, I'm gonna keep that a surprise for you, big boy.
Will, a light just went on in your bedroom.
There's someone in your house! The traffic just lightened up.
It's a miracle! I'll be home in two minutes! - I'm gonna call the cops.
- Don't call the cops! Don't call the cops! Do not call the cops! Okay! Where were we? Shh! You'll wake the baby! What baby? Oh, yeah, right! What--yeah-- yeah, yeah, yeah, no, everything's perfect.
- Yeah, everything's good, yeah.
- Everything's just perfect.
There we go.
Yeah.
Ooh.
Um, um, um, um, you know what I'm gonna do? I am gonna go and get us some wine.
Uh, well, I think we're pretty past the wine part.
Now, yes, but after, you know, when we want the wine, I won't have to go down naked and get it.
You know what I mean? Okay.
I'll be right back.
- Oh.
- Oh, uh Can I borrow this? I'll just borrow this real quick.
My wine cellar gets a little bit drafty.
Well, why don't you just, uh, take your own shirt? Uh, 'cause-- well, I would, you know, but, uh, uh, I'm already all the way over here.
Huh? Okay, guys, I'm here.
Uh, I think we should call the police, because what if the person robbing your house comes through the dumbwaiter, robs my house? There's nobody in my house.
My bedroom light is on a timer.
It's an easy explanation, totally plausible.
Anyway, I'm here for the burning ceremony, and I got Sam's sweater, so let's go! Okay, well, you're gonna have to put Sam's sweater in the Memory Hole.
I--you know, I had a good cry with it in the car.
A nice little sniffle with it, and I rubbed some tears, and I feel, like, real close to it, so I think I'm gonna hold on to it, if that's all right, do sort of a-- Quick like a Band-Aid, I always say.
Good-bye, Chris.
Good-bye, memories of Chris.
Good-bye, love.
Unity Embrace! Ah, come on, Unity Embrace.
Come on.
Release the pain! Release the pain! Shh.
I need to release the pain silently.
There we go.
Okay, guys, you know what I got to do? I'm gonna go check on that timer.
I feel like I need to reset it.
No, wait, Will.
In order for the ritual to be complete, we all have to stand around the fire until it burns completely out.
Completely out? Yeah, the embers burn out, and our pain disappears with the smoke! You know what? I'm sorry.
This is ridiculous.
Hey, hey, you! No! Get off! What is the matter with you? Why can't you take this seriously? What is so bloddy important That you must ruin the sanctity of the Day of Reflection? Will.
Too bad you just threw Sam's sweater into the fire.
Looks like that girl over there could really use it.
Hi.
Hi.
Um, what the hell is this, Will? Uh Uh Oh, no, is this your family? No, no, it's not my family.
Oh, my God, are you in some sort of weird, pagan cult? - No, no, no - Hey, hey, hey! We are not a cult.
Please, uh, let me-- Liz, I can explain.
Okay, you know what? I don't even think I need to hear it.
Thank you, Will, for once again putting Marcus and my emotional needs in the backseat to one of your vapid sexual conquests.
- No! You are not a conquest! - Excuse me? - You're not a conquest.
- Okay, I don't know what any of this is, but it is clearly some very messy baggage, so No, no, it's not.
Liz, please! - I can explain.
- Carry on! Stop! Don't! Will, I was really hoping you were different, but I guess I was wrong.
I am-- I-- Liz! Thank you.
Thank you for that, Fiona.
Are you guys arguing? Should I be leaving? Wait.
You're the one who abandoned me in my time of need to hang out with that-- close your ears, Marcus-- - Strumpet.
- Yeap.
Leaving.
She is not a one-night stand, okay? She's just a normal girl looking for a normal guy without any drama or baggage, and that's impossible for me to be when I'm hanging out with you and Marcus burning trash in a yard.
I-- Listen, I like her, Fiona.
I like her a lot, okay? Why didn't you just tell me? Because you were having such a hard time and you're suffering, and I didn't want to be bragging about how I was falling for somebody.
You know, it's like throwing salt in an open wound.
This is why I didn't say anything.
These aren't tears of sadness for me.
They're tears of happiness for you.
I mean, if love can grow in the putrid soil of your tiny fractured heart, then, you know, maybe there's hope for me.
This is so You know, you should go and tell Liz how you feel right now.
Well, what about the memory hole and all that stuff? Oh, Marcus and I will mourn, and I've chucked enough lighter fluid on it.
It'll be burning well after you get back.
- Go on.
- Okay.
Liz, hey.
Can we go talk somewhere? I'm working.
Can I have a beer, then? Listen, it turns out, you know, I do have a "something," and I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about it sooner-- That's ten dollars.
Really? No more freebies.
Okay.
Look, I'm gonna get this out.
I am so sorry I didn't tell you about Fiona and Marcus.
They're not something that's easy to talk about or explain or even understand, but they are definitely my "something.
" Their my neighbors.
They're my weird, vegan, ridiculously codependent neighbors.
Actually, you know, if I'm being completely honest with you, they are a little bit more than that.
My relationship with them is not something that I would've ever asked for, but they've become this kind of strange, unexpected part of my life, and, frankly, they're important to me.
But the woman, the weird mom-- That relationship is strictly platonic, like, violently platonic.
And the little dude is good for me, and for a kid whose dad is, like, a million miles away, I am, like, really good for him too.
So, yes, I have a "something.
" But so does everybody, right? Yeah.
I mean, not that I'm in any place to judge, but this gentleman to my right probably has some issues with alcohol.
Look, Liz I am so sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I like you, like, really like you.
And I would love it if you'd give me another chance.
Come on.
Give it to him.
I can do weird neighbors.
That's definitely gonna be tested.
Are we sure this guy's okay? Is he with anybody? The fire, it's almost out.
This must be what it feels like to sit Shiva.
I cannot believe it burned through the entire night, through the driving rain, the howling wind.
We definitely should've gone in during the lightning storm.
That was ridiculous.
This might be the most stubborn batch of memories we've ever burned.
It's out.
It's out! Ah! Ow! What are you doing? Reveille! The Day of Reflection is over! Oh, thank God! Let the Week of Sorrow begin! - What? What? - I'll start sewing the robes.
No, no! No!