Big City Greens (2018) s02e16 Episode Script

[theme music playing]
One, two
One, two, three, four ♪
[vocalizing]
[chicken clucks]
[Cricket, sighing]
Let me ask you something.
Do you believe in angels?
Because I do. I've seen one.
An angel named Gabriella Carlita Espinosa.
Oh, Gabriella, if only you knew--
-Hey, pal!
-Aah! Remy!
Cricket, you've been staring
at Gabriella Espinosa
like a cat watching a laser pointer.
Ever since the Valentine's dance,
I haven't stopped thinking about her.
But because you danced
with her that night,
I assumed you and her were going out?
What? No. Gabs and I are just old friends.
But, Cricket, you can't just stare at her
until she likes you.
It's creepy. Go talk to her.
What? No, I can't.
If I tell her I like her,
she might say that she hates me.
Or even worse, she might tell
me that she likes me back.
Either way, I'll drop dead.
[groaning]
[Remy] Cricket, do you believe in angels?
Every time I've needed help
you've been my guardian angel.
And now here you are, in trouble.
Who will help you?
Oh, it's me.
-Remy's the angel!
-[whistle blows]
All right, kids. I'm Community Sue.
Is everyone having fun
at the community center?
Whoo!
Today, I'm painting a mural out back
and need some volunteers.
I know Gabriella's in.
-Yeah.
-That's the spirit.
Who else? Cool, Cricket's in.
What? No, I didn't volunt--
Remy? What the heck are you doing?
I'm giving you a little push.
You're always helping me out,
but today I'm helping you.
But I don't want to.
-[whistle blows]
-[Sue] Green! Hoof it!
Why, why, why, why?
You're going to do great.
-Hey, Cricket.
-Hi.
[stammers and laughs nervously]
Hello, Gabriella.
OK, I'll, uh, see you out there.
[panting]
-[blows whistle]
-Other Green!
-Girl Green!
-Yes, ma'am?
You're in charge of checking
out equipment while I'm gone.
You mean, I'll be in charge
of the entire community center?
No. I just need you
to write down who's using like,
dodgeballs and stuff.
Community Sue's office.
Nay, Community Tilly's office.
A peaceful transition of power.
All right, kids,
I've got rollers and brushes,
your standard set of primaries,
and I've even drawn out
a preliminary sketch as reference.
If there's any muscle that
doesn't make sense anatomically,
draw it in anyways.
Hm. Very subtle.
OK, I have no clue how we'll do this.
But I guess if we start
by mixing a few colors
-Mural's this way, Green.
-[Cricket whimpering]
Hey, could you pass me a brush?
[gasps]
Thanks.
You look like you know
your way around a canvas.
Which part do you want to paint first?
[Cricket] Oh, no.
She asked you a question.
Say something. Say anything.
[clears throat]
-[wheezes]
-What?
What's wrong? Are you having
a medical emergency?
If you don't give me a verbal response,
I will be forced to perform
an emergency tracheotomy
with this pin.
[coughs and wheezes]
I'm good, man.
[gasps breathlessly]
Over there
Hey, Mr. Smoothie. How's it going?
Why, Remy?
Why'd you make me do this?
[slurps]
I was happy with the way things were.
Staying far away from her,
muttering to myself.
It wasn't much, but it was an honest life.
What am I supposed to do?
I can't get within ten feet of her
without my brain turning to mush.
Well, that's why you've got me, you silly.
Take one of these earpieces
Vasquez gave me.
This way, I can be in your ear
and tell you exactly
what to say to Gabriella.
Well, OK, but only because
I can't do any worse.
-Enter.
-Hey, hey.
Weezie here to check out boxing gloves.
Yes, yes, you and dozens
of other children.
But tell me, is all I'm meant
to do as community director
just check out equipment?
Does my administration sit idly by,
or do I seek the change
that I know the people deserve?
Don't trip, just flip the script.
[laughs]
Yeah, I'm leaving now.
Flip the of course.
Today, I begin a legacy
the Big City Community Center
will never forget.
OK, Remy, I'm in position.
Perfect. Now do exactly as I say.
Nice. Nice.
Oh, hey. I figured we could
start with the background first.
OK, shake her hand.
Oh. Left hand.
[Remy] OK, maintain eye contact.
Slight bend to the knees.
Maintain eye contact!
OK. I guess we have a deal.
This is great. You two are
exchanging biorhythms.
Now, disengage.
-I said, disengage!
-Aah!
Now, say, "Do you like dressage?"
[Cricket] What's dressage?
Competitive horse dancing. Say it.
So, Gabriella, do you like dressage?
Actually, I only like things
that aren't stupid.
[snickers]
Dressage isn't stupid! How dare you?
Uh, how dare you?
You're being weird.
[Remy] You're being weird!
You're being weird.
Uh, I'm going to get more paint.
Oh, OK, well, I didn't mean to
[sighs and grumbles]
Eep!
Remy!
I can't believe
that you're worse at girls than I am.
Stay out of my ear holes
unless you got something good.
Hm. I was supposed to be
helping Cricket today.
And here I am, making a whole
mess out of everything.
-[Vasquez] Master Remy.
-Huh?
-Vasquez?
-Master Remy.
I got an alert
that your heart rate is spiking.
Are you OK? Can I help you in any way?
[gasps] I think so!
[cats meowing]
[grunts and clears throat]
My fellow men and women
of the Big City Community Center.
Who, me?
You may have noticed some of the changes,
nay, improvements
my administration has brought.
Stray cats have been welcomed,
for they too are members of the community.
Also, glitter has been added
to the drinking fountains,
not because it was easy,
but because it was pretty.
And all balls have been given
names and faces.
I say, liberty and justice for balls.
-Whoo! You're weird as heck.
-Thank you.
Vasquez, you couldn't have
called at a better time.
-Are you busy?
-I'm just guarding
your mother's luncheon.
Cool, cool. Second question:
Do you know anything about love?
Do I know anything about love?
I know love can fill your heart,
but also leave it empty.
Yes. I know love.
Bingo bango.
You kids are being awful quiet.
Talk. Engage.
After all, this is the community center.
Be communal.
Uh OK.
[gulps]
Hey, uh, Gabriella,
Big City sure is something, huh?
It is a big city.
So, you like painting murals?
No way. They're making me do this
because last week, I got on the intercom
and said the word "dookie."
Whoa! That was you?
I love your work.
Man, they're really getting strict here.
Last month I got on the intercom
and said "trash butt,"
and they only sent me home with a letter.
[laughs] Wait, what?
Yeah. But before giving it to my dad,
I rewrote the letter to say
that they were thanking me
for saying "trash butt."
[giggles] Did it work?
-No!
-Well, whatever.
Trash butt's funny.
I don't know. I think dookie's classic.
Well, I guess we should keep painting.
Uh, yeah. Hey, what do you say we team up
and do pranks this weekend?
Oh, that'd be fun.
But I'm leaving soon for Montreal.
Montreal? Oh, my gosh.
Gabriella is moving?
[Remy, over earpiece]
Cricket, I know I messed up,
but this time I've got something good.
I hope it's good enough to stop
a girl from moving to Europe.
OK, Vasquez, let her rip.
My nights are illuminated
by your kindness. The rain
My nights are illuminated
by your kindness.
The rain
Hey, Gabriella?
-What's up?
-Uh, my nights are illuminated
by your kindness.
The rain kept off my head by your smile.
Cricket, are you teasing me?
Your smile, as radiant
as your purple blazer.
Uh, your radiant purple blazer.
Hey, buddy
[Vasquez] I would stand against
the winds of nature itself.
With tender glances,
douse me, hedonist goddess.
Why don't we just paint?
Uh
Douse me, hedonist goddess.
-Just paint.
-Douse me, hedon--
-Paint.
-Douse me head in paint!
Douse me head in paint!
[grunts]
Sorry, dude, I'd love to figure out
what's going on here,
but I've got to catch my bus for Montreal.
Bye.
Aah!
I'm sorry, buddy. I messed up.
Well, she's moving to Montreal anyways,
so this plan was doomed from the start.
Whoa!
That girl likes you.
What makes you say that?
I'm good at reading social situations!
[panting]
Oh, my gosh. Gabriella likes me?
I got to find out for sure.
Come on, Remy, we've got a bus to catch.
Ah. Good kids.
Terrible painters, though.
[Cricket] Gabriella wait!
Wait!
[panting]
-She's gone.
-Don't worry.
I already called in the cavalry.
Excuse me, Master Cricket,
but perhaps I may be of assistance.
[grunts and yells]
Thanks for helping me today, Remy.
What? But I didn't know what I was doing.
-[both scream]
-That's OK.
What matters is that you gave me a push!
Vasquez, that's the bus.
[grunts and exclaims]
For love.
Ah!
Hey.
[laughs] Uh, hey, Cricket.
What are you doing here?
Gabriella, I
I like you.
And I just wanted to know
do you like me too?
Yeah. Do you want to go out?
Oh, does that mean we have to,
like, hold hands all the time?
-What? No.
-Do we gotta exchange gifts and flowers?
Ew. No.
Do we got to smooch?
No, weirdo. It just means
we get to tell people we're going out.
Oh, OK. Well, then, yeah, I'm in.
Well, this is my stop.
Wait, I thought you were
moving to Montreal.
No, I'm just going there for vacation.
I kept trying to tell you,
but you were too busy talking
to Remy on that earpiece.
See you when I'm back.
Yeah. See you when you're back.
Hey, Cricket. How'd it go?
Well, let's just say
that Cricket Green's got a girlfriend!
Well, the mural was a bust,
but at least things here
are under control?
-[cats meowing]
-[kids chattering]
[whimpering]
Welcome back, ma'am.
I'd say with all these reforms,
I have successfully secured my legacy.
Well, goodbye.
[glass squeaks]
[breathing heavily]
[inhales deeply]
Oh, man. Y'all are never
going to believe this.
Big City is throwing a huge street fair,
and it's right around the corner
from our house.
I'm gonna get in the first bounce house
I see and just go wild.
I'm going to buy a funnel cake
and then use it
for its one true purpose:
funneling an entire slushie
directly into my face.
Last time, I spent all Bill's money
trying to win the ring toss.
But this time, I'm coming prepared.
OK. I'm just going
to hit up the ATM real quick,
and then we can go.
Hey, Dad, we're going to the street fair,
so why don't you slap a few big bucks
in my tiny hands, please?
Uh no?
-Huh?
-I said, no.
Papa, I think you said "yes" wrong.
No, I meant what I said.
I think we should all stay here
and have a quiet night in.
[all laugh]
Good one, Dad.
But, uh money?
Dang it, Cricket, I'm serious.
Our production costs
have been through the roof.
Production costs?
Yeah. That's what I call money we spend
on producing fun for ourselves.
You know, things like restaurants, movies,
fancy shoes
that a certain someone never wears.
I just don't want to get them dirty.
So if we can't go to the fair,
what the heck are we supposed to do?
Well, there's plenty to do
right here in the living room.
We can just re-use the assets
we already have.
-Assets?
-[sighs]
Just think of it this way.
Why go on new adventures,
when you can remember the old ones?
We spent a lot of money
making those memories.
We might as well get more use
out of them, right, gang?
-[all grumble]
-I'll go first.
Remember when we went to that
fancy seafood restaurant?
[Cricket] We didn't have restaurants
like this back in the country.
OK, fella, back to where you belong.
Aah!
[grunts]
[all scream]
[Gramma] Grab on!
We did it, Tilly.
We're hero oh, my goodness.
-[gasps and angry chatter]
-[man] Disgusting!
You and your family are banned for life!
-I'm so sorry--
-Get out!
Ah!
[all panting]
That sure was expensive.
But remembering it is free.
Ah! This is like one of those TV episodes
where the cheap producers reuse old clips,
because they're too lazy
to write new stuff.
I think it sounds pretty resourceful.
So, does anyone else care to
window-shop down memory lane?
Fine, I'll go.
Y'all remember that time
the robot dinosaur almost ate us?
-[both] Oh, yeah.
-Wait what?
I remember it perfectly.
[roars]
-I love eating cars!
-Oh, toots.
Well, the the sight
of that dinosaur made me sad.
Time to shake my head,
then drive with my face.
Cricket. Cricket, Cricket.
Cricket. Cricket, Cricket,
Cricket, Cricket.
Glove.
It's for you.
I get a word in when I can.
Aw, I am no longer sad. Hug.
[loud crash]
I'm hungry!
Oh, no, this stinks!
And nothing bad happened
to Bill's truck. The end.
Wait, did the dinosaur talk?
I feel like I'd remember that.
Well, I'm sorry my old
dump truck of a brain
can't remember it word for word.
If you're going to sass me about it,
why don't you tell a story?
All right! Jeez. Uh
Oh! Hey, y'all remember
that funny thing Weezie said?
Ha-ha! Got to get it to have it.
Actually, I think he said
All noodles, no spaghetti.
No, he definitely said
Little steps, big toes.
Wait, I thought I said the funny thing.
Slap it up, slap it in.
-No, no, no, no.
-Definitely not.
-That don't sound right.
-Here, I have a story.
I went on an adventure
I've never told y'all about.
Packed with action,
exotic locales and new faces.
There I was, taking a stroll in
Little Tokyo.
The sakura were in full bloom.
But even their sweet scent
couldn't mask the stench of evil.
Hold up. What's all this?
Hm? Oh, this is a storyboard.
Storyboard?
It's a board with a story on it?
Come on, Cricket, context clues. Keep up.
Anyways, I had just finished my mochi,
when I saw a giant monster
attacking the city.
Just then a man ran up
to me with a briefcase.
He said something in Japanese.
(something in Japanese)
And it was in that moment
I knew what I had to do.
[gasps]
[roaring]
I was ready for the fight of my life.
And after an incredible,
dramatic, complex battle,
I defeated the beast.
Yatta!
The end.
Well, that would've been great
if it wasn't a board story, or whatever.
You could have at least colored it.
That didn't actually happen, did it?
No.
-Hm.
-[cell phone vibrates]
-Oh, hey, Nancy.
-[Nancy] Hey, Bill.
I'm at the street fair. You guys coming?
Oh, no, we just decided
to have a relaxing night in.
Mom? We're dying here.
Please, what's it like?
I must know.
Oh, my gosh, well
It's like, there's
Honestly, it's it's indescribable.
Please, Mama. Describe anything.
How's the cotton candy?
Oh, man, where do I start?
It's so pink.
-Oh!
-Oh!
Talk to you later, Nance.
Yeah, yeah, later.
I can't take this.
I need to experience something new
with an actual location and people.
Oh, I got a story.
Did I ever tell you about the time
I went back to that fancy
seafood restaurant?
[humming]
-[Lloyd] Leave.
-[Bill] Yup.
[humming]
When they said banned for life,
they meant it.
I am done reminiscing.
OK, OK.
Um, how about we all just take a moment
to be alone with our thoughts?
Dad, that's even worse.
I can't hear you.
I've retreated into the Bill-scape.
Hm, could be fun. I'll give it a try.
Hey, brain, give me a list
of things to think about.
Sure thing. Rocks. Balloons.
World problems. Battleship names.
[Gramma] Ah, finally alone
with my thoughts.
Hm, a little quiet in here.
[sputters lips and gibbers]
That's more like it.
[Cricket] This is so dumb.
Who hears "fun" and thinks,
"Oh, I'll sit in silence"?
[Bill] All right, Bill, you bought
some time. But this won't last long.
You gotta think of something to
entertain them with, and fast.
Oh, I know. I will come up with a joke.
[Tilly] Books. Tattoo ideas. Animals.
Oh, animals, please.
Coming right up.
Anteaters, praying mantises, ferrets
[Gramma blathering]
[Bill] Ugh! Joke-writing is hard.
How about one where
the punch line is "corn"?
Corny? Is that something? Aah!
[Cricket] Ugh, guess this is what
we're doing now.
Has been a while since
I gave the old brain a whirl.
All right, brain, what you got for me?
People don't find your wacky antics
as endearing as you think.
Nope! I'm done.
Wait, wait, I have a knock-knock joke.
[sighs] Who's there? Dang it!
Well, if we're just going
to sit around all day,
we might as well watch some TV.
-[static crackles]
-Father. Explain.
I cut the cable.
[laughing] Is that all?
That's really cool. For a second, I--
[screams and grunts]
Calm down, boy. Now's not the time.
Dad, what where you thinking?
Now how am I supposed
to watch my favorite show,
Little Country Blues?
It was the easiest way to save some money.
Back me up, sweetie.
Well, we still have streaming, right?
-Ad-supported.
-[shrieks]
Save your strength, Tilly.
He ain't worth it.
Hm. You've been spared.
I was just trying to save us money.
-Someone's got to.
-It's a slippery slope, Bill.
What's next?
You going to install a timer
on the electricity
so it automatically shuts off every night?
Uh
would you believe me if I said no?
[Cricket] Why would you
cut the power at night?
That's when we need it the most.
[Bill] I don't know.
I thought we'd be asleep by now.
[Tilly] Papa, it is 6:00 p.m.
[Bill] I'm feeling pretty sleepy.
[Cricket] Listen up, old man.
I'm about to go ham bananas on this house,
and I am not stopping
until the lights are on
and the cable is back.
-You hear me? Huh? Huh?
-[Bill] Cricket, please.
-[loud crash]
-What was that?
[Cricket] Don't worry about it, Billiam.
[screams]
-[Gramma] Slow down.
-[Bill] Oh, jeez, he's lost it.
[Gramma] Take cover!
-[Cricket screaming]
-[objects crashing]
[Bill] OK, I think he's done.
-Should be safe to--
-[Cricket screams]
[Bill] Cricket, I'm begging you,
please stop.
[Cricket] I can't stop.
The people at home expect entertainment.
-[Bill] What people at home?
-[Cricket] Us!
The people in this home!
[Gramma] Dang it,
this is getting out of hand.
[Bill] OK, fine,
I'll get the lights back on.
-[crowd cheering]
-[loud music blaring]
All right, power's back.
Hope the damage
isn't too expensive to draw--
Huh, nothing's broken?
Sounded like it was a lot worse.
Yeah, but Cricket did break
the fourth wall.
-The what?
-The fourth wall.
Look.
See? He put a huge hole in it.
What? Y'all don't number the walls?
OK, listen, everyone.
I may have gotten
a little carried away today.
I was worried you kids
didn't know the value of a dollar.
So I thought I'd show you
that you don't need
to spend money to have fun.
I guess we were
pretty thirsty for that cash.
But the fact is, Bill,
we didn't have any fun today.
Listen, Dad, expensive things can be fun,
but fun things don't have to be expensive.
Huh. You may be onto something there.
So how about a compromise?
We go to the street fair,
but we don't buy anything.
Yeah. Instead of drinking a slushie,
I will drink in the atmosphere.
And instead of playing ring toss,
I'll just heckle other people
while they play.
That's priceless.
How's that sound, big guy?
[gasps] Such frugality.
That sounds great.
OK, y'all go have some fun.
-Yay!
-Let's go!
Hey, wait. Aren't you coming?
Huh? Oh, no, I'll be fine here.
-What?
-You gotta come with us!
[excited chatter]
Nah. There's a hole.
[overlapped chatter]
Come on, Dad.
OK!
-Let's do it.
-[all cheer]
[door opens and closes]
[Cricket] Oh, wow, look at that.
A roller coaster.
[Tilly] So technically impressive.
[Bill] I've never seen
such a big crowd before.
[Nancy] Oh, hey, guys, you made it.
-[Tilly and Cricket] Mom!
-[Cricket] You were right, Mom.
-This place is hard to describe.
-[Nancy] Told you.
[Bill] Kids, look, a celebrity.
[Tom Hanks] Hey, Green family.
It's me, Tom Hanks.
I'm about to go on
an incredible adventure,
and I'd love to have you all
come along with me.
-What do you say?
-[all cheering]
I got sweat in my eyes ♪
Lost a bet and got bit
By a hundred flies ♪
I fell out A big old tree ♪
Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪
I got chased by a dog ♪
Licked by a frog ♪
Got a rash on my leg ♪
Dropped a dozen eggs ♪
I got splinters at seven and ten ♪
And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪