Comic Book Men s02e16 Episode Script

You know what I was watching the other night? - What? - Happy days.
And something ocurred to me.
I think Fonzie may have been a mutant.
- How so? - I mean, how not? He's got power over women like a Svengali, right? All right.
A lot of guys have that.
Okay.
He beat an alien.
He was the only human being to best mork.
Okay.
I've seen Robin Williams and mork, not that hard.
And when's the last time you banged on a jukebox And made it play? - Uh, I mean-- - Or a girl? [laughter.]
If somebody came up and told you you could be Fonzie When you were a little kid, how awesome would that have been? You're going to grow up to be Fonzie.
If they told me I could be Fonzie now [laughter.]
Hello and welcome to another episode of Comic Book Men, The only show that bases all of its cereal choices On the mascots.
I'm your host, Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
I told you before about Anthony.
He's become quite a regular at the Stash, And we look forward to him coming down because, I mean, this guy has really cool stuff.
This is the guy that founded kryptonite rocks.
Yes.
Wow.
This is pretty darn impressive.
So I give this dude an entry into the store after that As much as he wants.
- Anthony! - Anthony! - How are you? - What's up, man? - What's going on, ant? - Welcome back.
How you doing? What's up? - Guys, here.
- What's this? It's, like, a steak sandwich? That is a-- that's a smile right there.
- Oh, there you go.
- Cheesesteak.
All right.
You come bearing gifts.
- Thank you.
Oh! - They're full, man.
What else do you have for us? You never come empty-handed.
What do you got? I brought you a little piece.
Ooh.
Warner Brothers shadow box.
Anthony, where do you get this stuff, man? Every time you come in here, You got something better than the last time.
I've been collecting my whole life.
I just have so much stuff.
It's time to make everybody happy.
What does Anthony need for a shadow box? Uh, I don't know.
Nickel? - 500, huh? - That's the price.
You know, last time he was in, he brought his boys with him.
His muscle.
Hello.
So I felt, you know, why not let Ming get in on the negotiations? [laughter.]
So it's all on you, cuz.
I mean, this is a nice piece.
I definitely remember it, limited to 250 pieces.
Yours got a--you know, low number here.
33.
I noticed one of the feet down here-- Not broken, but it moved over a little bit.
You know, that'll bring down the price a little bit.
Would you take $250 for this? For what? The whole thing? The whole thing.
How about 400? - Uh, 275? - How about 375? I can go up to 300, and that's the highest.
All right, we can do 350.
- Register is open.
- Take what you want.
- What, do you need help? - That's 350.
Right on the nose.
Did you feel intimidated by Anthony During that whole process? I mean, he said-- you know, his implications-- It's probably just all talk.
I was pretty cool.
You don't sound too certain, though.
- "It's probably just all talk.
" - Your voice is cracking now.
Yeah, you're even scared to talk about it now.
He's not here.
You're safe.
It would be so sad if Ming died over a Batman shadow box.
Ming, it wasn't worth it.
Oh, Ming, no.
- You did the right thing, cuz.
- [stammering.]
I have a feeling I did too.
- Tell your boys I said hello.
- I will, definitely.
- See you later, Ant.
- Take care, man.
Thanks, fellas.
I am impressed.
You did very, very well.
Celebrate the fact that you'll live to see another day.
If there's anybody in this entire world That I've celebrated comics with, it's Walter Flanagan.
Walter gave me my interest in comic books to begin with.
So for me to own a store, it's a no-brainer for me To turn to Walt and be like, "Please, please run it.
" And now it's coming up On walt's official So naturally, I had to put something together.
I want to do something for him, so-- - What do you have in mind? - Something-- - Pizza party.
- Pizza-- - Something a little bigger than that.
Let's go down the list of things he likes.
- Um, it's a pretty short list.
- Pizza.
- Pizza.
- Hockey.
Hockey.
What do you think about hockey? - Go to a hockey game together? - Maybe something bigger.
Like, I know Kevin's in tight with the NHL.
Like, you know, maybe he could help us out.
Some vip passes.
Signed Jersey.
Think he'd like a ride on a Zamboni? - What is he, eight? - All right.
Just an idea.
Call Kevin.
I'm sure he has a ton of ideas.
All right, I need you guys behind me, though.
I'm 100% with you, conditionally.
Wait, wait.
What's the condition? Well, if he gets mad and hates it, Then I'm just going to say I warned you against it.
I'll say you guys weren't even involved, then.
- Deal.
- Good.
- Oh, she's a beaut.
- No way.
Didn't even know that was there.
This is an actual production animation cel.
Have you guys ever wondered If you could take down a super-villain? Does it have to be a villain? All right, any super-powered being.
- Iceman.
- How you gonna take him down? You know, blowtorch, flamethrower.
- You're insane.
- I know.
Like the greatest minds in the world of superheroes Haven't figured out, "Well, to take down Iceman, I guess I'll just get a blowtorch.
" - [laughs.]
- [sighs.]
Looking for a copy of Giant-Size X-Men #1.
Talk about timing.
We had actually just got this Giant-Size X-Men #1.
We had won it on online auction.
Really didn't even have a chance To even open it up yet and inspect it.
Everything you know about the X-Men today Stems from the giant-size annual.
It's an evergreen.
It never goes down in price.
It only ever goes up.
The guy claims it's a very fine minus.
Let's see.
Well Hmm, doesn't look bad.
One of the biggest problems with this book was the staples Always marred the cover.
No way.
You know whose signature that is, right? That's Dave Cockrum's signature.
Whoa.
Didn't even know that was there.
Holy mackerel.
In the listing I won this from, it did not even note That it was signed by Dave Cockrum.
Dave Cockrum was an artist on the Giant-Size X-Men annual.
So it's already added value.
You open up that book, And suddenly, it's like finding gold Within the pages.
The price immediately went up a couple bucks.
[laughter.]
The dude's like, "rats.
" So What are you looking to spend on a Giant-Size X-Men #1? I was looking to spend around $200.
- 200? - Yeah.
So you don't want a nice copy, then.
You basically want toilet paper.
- No, not at all.
- I can't do it for that cheap.
So what were you looking for it? - We're looking to get 500.
- Oh.
Yeah, 500 bucks.
Man.
- Okay, well-- - I'm willing to go up to 280.
It's a piece of comics history.
I agree.
The highest right now I could do honestly is 350.
- I can't do it.
- Can't do it? Yeah.
I gotta get something for it and-- - 350's something.
- Yeah, yeah.
I meant more than what I paid for it, so-- You know, this guy's tough.
- He's very tough.
- He's--he's tough.
And he's got that weasel smile too, look at him.
- Look at him.
- He's not a weasel.
- He's not a weasel.
- [laughs.]
He knows he can get the 500 for it.
I know he can.
Iyou know what? You're buttering me up there.
You see, you took it as an insult.
I like that.
I like that weasel smile.
- Can't do it.
- Can't do it? Nah, I need to let it get up there And get noticed by the other customers who walk in Before I take the first offer that comes in, you know? Don't be surprised if I come back here And hopefully still see that book on the wall, And maybe we'll talk again.
Thank you so much, guys.
All right.
We can't just sell it right away like that.
I'm telling you, put it on the wall, We'll get what we're looking for.
Guys like that walk in here constantly.
Someone will buy it for what we want for it.
Absolutely.
You know what I was wondering? What superhero would you most hate to be? [sighs.]
The one you'd be like, "I would rather Be a normal human being than be this superhero.
" I'm going to go with Aquaman.
Lately in pop culture, Everybody's always going after Aquaman.
Why? - You can control fish.
- How's that going to help me? All the crimes happen on land.
What about you? I guess I wouldn't want to be Robin.
Second in command all the time, Having to wear the short shorts.
Like Mike.
[laughter.]
- Hey, how are you? - What can we do for you today? I wonder if you're interested in buying this particular piece.
It's from Ralph Bakshi's production Of Lord of the Rings from 1978.
It's an actual production animation cel.
Wow, look at that, man.
You know who that is? - Frodo, Gandalf.
- Oh, I thought that was Bryan.
[laughter.]
Years before Peter Jackson, There was a Lord of the Rings feature.
It was done by the animator Ralph Bakshi, The guy behind Fritz the Cat.
He did a feature version, which was kind of like One of the first grown-up cartoons.
Kind of violent.
There was war.
It wasn't really aimed directly at kids.
And until Peter Jackson's stuff came along, It was considered the high watermark in its day.
You're looking to sell this, huh? - Yeah.
- Robert, come here.
- Yeah? - What do you think of this? - You remember that? - Of course I remember that.
It's nice, in very nice condition.
It's a piece of artwork that's becoming obsolete, And I think this one's worth more Because of the poses of the characters-- Eyes open, looking forward, A lot of expression.
How much is it worth? Retail, this market right now, probably about 350.
All right, what are you wanting to get for it? Uh, how about 325? No, I couldn't do that high.
Um That's probably the best I can do.
200.
- I've really got to get 300.
- You've got to get 300? Yeah.
I can do 275.
You got a deal.
- All right, thanks.
- Thank you.
Ten years ago, you'd be like, "I'd burn an animation cel.
It has no place here," but now you're like, "Eh, let's throw it up on the wall and see what happens.
" Even as a geek, you're growing.
I need an epic comic book gift for my boyfriend.
No way.
- Oh, my God, Ken Daneyko.
- [laughs.]
Do you guys ever order anything Out of the back of a comic book? - Oh, hell, yeah.
- X-ray specs? No, he gets the X-ray specs.
[laughter.]
The foot locker full of toy soldiers? Yes! The, like, - Yeah.
You get 199.
- Yeah, I ordered those too.
Now if you looked at them in profile, yeah.
It looked like an army guy.
Now if you flipped them around to the other side, They were, like, this thin.
- They were paper thin.
- Oh, are they? You tried to use the x-ray specs on the army guys.
Many a time I went through a comic book, I always wanted to order sea monkeys Because they made the ad look so unbelievably fun.
They have crowns.
There's a kingdom.
Yes.
They were a sentient family.
And they could look at you and stuff, Interact with one another.
- I had them.
- You bought sea monkeys? It was a tiny, little aquarium That had, like, these circles all over it, Which were magnifying glasses.
And I remember I had grown them, and they were swimming around, And I accidentally knocked it over onto the rug, And I was, like [laughter.]
"I'm master of this little world, But I ain't got time.
" [laughter.]
All righty.
Thank you so much.
Bye, Ming.
Have a good day.
See you later.
Have a nice day.
"Bye, Ming"? Yeah, how does she know your name? - She's in here a lot.
- Really? I've never seen her in here before.
Look how red-faced he is.
I know.
He's got himself a little groupie.
Yeah.
[laughter.]
She's not a groupie.
You got to be, like, A rock star or superhero to get a groupie.
- Superheroes have groupies? - Sure.
Spider-Man, Mary Jane.
She could care less about Spider-Man.
She did kind of like him in the movie, though.
Remember that scene where Spider-Man's hanging upside-down, And they do that kiss upside-down, And she peels the mask? - Mm, like that.
- Give me one more.
- Harley Quinn, Joker.
- Yup.
In what way? When they first met, was she dressed like a clown? - No.
- No? She was a psychiatrist trying to heal him, But then she literally went crazy for him.
Come on.
If you can't see that one, Then, I mean, I can't turn you then.
I mean, he is the one with the groupie that walked in.
- So what do we know? - [laughs.]
- Hello.
- Hey.
I need an epic comic book gift for my boyfriend.
What's your budget look like today? Let's say 500-ish.
What do we got in the $500 range That will knock someone's socks off? A little bit higher than 500, But it might make it worth your while.
Giant-Size X-Men #1 signed by Dave Cockrum.
Hmm.
Makes it fancy-schmancy 'cause Dave Cockrum's no longer with us.
And he does like the X-Men.
I would love to see this.
I'll run up and get it.
This is something he would be, like-- - Absolutely.
- Okay.
This is, you know, high-rung, holy grail.
Here she is, with the signature.
Wow.
So you had said a little more than 500-- - 575.
Okay.
So you couldn't do 550? Um Okay.
I'll do it.
This is a great lesson on the virtue of patience.
I told that guy, "somebody will come in here And buy that book from me at the price I'm asking," And what happened? And your patience paid off.
It paid off.
- You were-- - And you were right.
- I don't know what to say.
- All right, all right! "I'm not a bad employee, Kevin.
I'm not.
I'm not what he says I am.
" "I just can't be Waltstradamus!" [laughter.]
- A dollar is your change.
- Thank you very much.
- Thanks for coming in.
- Thank you, guys.
- Bye.
- Take care.
Walter has always been a massive New Jersey Devils fan.
So Ming had the amazing idea, "Man, let's give him a Devils celebration.
" I mean, I was like, "That is brilliant.
That is something that he cannot deny.
" So I knew a few people, and I called up.
And I was like, "Look, I got the uber-fan--" I couldn't even finish, "I got the uber-fan," Before somebody was like, "Walt Flanagan?" No way.
All four of us walk in, and my heart stopped, I thought.
- Did it? - I don't know.
It really was one of those moments That I never, ever thought it would ever happen.
- Jim Dowd, number 11.
- Yes! Nice.
Bruce Driver, 23.
Grant Marshall, number 29.
Game seven, Ottawa.
That pass to Jeff Friesen.
That's right, bud.
That's right.
- Game-winning goal.
- Right.
Mr.
History.
How are you, man? - Mr.
Devil.
- There you go, that's good.
- Number three.
- How we doing? How we doing? - Oh, my God, Ken Daneyko.
[laughter.]
Since you love the Devils, and we're pretty excited And pumped about that, We're going to give you four Devil logo imprints - With the Stanley Cup rings.
- Permanent ones.
[laughter.]
They pull out the most powerful rings in the universe.
All four of them put them out and right in front of my face.
All four Stanley Cup rings are just right there, Right in front of my mouth.
[laughter.]
Sounded very erotic, didn't it? That's a ring, man, That won't be felled by yellow or wood.
There ain't no impurities can defeat A Stanley Cup championship ring.
Yeah, everybody thinks It's green lantern's most powerful ring.
Wrong.
It's a Stanley Cup ring.
This is unbelievable, man.
I don't even know if I-- I'm just, like-- You guys got a bucket or anything? [laughter.]
- You're good to go, bud.
- [laughs.]
- Big Walt.
Oh! - Nice! Nice! Yeah! Been a long time since I was on ice skates.
I don't want to embarrass myself.
You've already embarrassed yourself by the-- What are you talking about, man? I paid them tribute.
Because you could see the hearts above your head, man.
It was, like, weird, puppy-love-type stuff.
[laughs.]
Like as if, like, when Marsha Brady met Davy Jones.
In fact, you were saying the same things she said.
You could tell? It was that noticeable? - No, not at all.
- [laughs.]
What is it about a bunch of dudes who used to play hockey That can reduce you to tears? I followed them since-- Pretty much since they came to New Jersey.
And they actually Went to the pinnacle of their league And won the championship multiple times And made you proud to say you were from New Jersey.
And I followed it with such passion, And I lived and breathed it.
I went to bed many a night wondering, like, you know, What would it be like to skate on a shift with ken daneyko Or be line mates with Jimmy Dowd Or take a pass from Grant Marshall? And the woman lying next to him was like, "Would you shut up?" [laughter.]
- You ready? - I don't know.
Walt, Walt, Walt, Walt, Walt, Walt, Walt.
Give me a couple of strolls here.
- You're good to go, bud.
- [laughs.]
You ready, Bryan? - I'm ready.
- All right, man.
He's going to cover a lot of the net anyway.
I can see you guys have been practicing.
[laughs.]
Now Dano's been retired for a few years, But when he passed it, did he pass it with force? Like, when it hit your stick, were you like, "aah"? I played, like, you know, a couple--some pond hockey And everything.
But, you know, you're taking a pass from, you know, Like, somebody who's on not an NHL caliber player, It's different.
You got to be ready for it, and you got to make sure You don't look like some sort of wuss accepting that pass.
Like, taking a pass from a man, you know, finally.
[laughter.]
Finally what? Walt's experimenting.
Walt, feed me.
- Oh, what a pass by Walt.
- [laughs.]
- Whoo! - Let's go warm up Bryan.
- All right.
- [laughs.]
Come on, Walt.
Are you ready? Let's go.
Come on, walt.
Oh! Fivehole! Five-hole, baby! - There it is.
- Oh! I missed that one.
[metallic clang.]
[laughter.]
[laughter.]
- He made one save.
- Oh, my God.
- Don't get gun-shy on us.
- Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
- Big Walt! - Oh! Walt's going for the melon.
Oh! He's out! Man down! I can't thank you guys enough.
It's been-- - Thanks, guys, appreciate it.
- It's been spectacular.
I can't even put into words how-- - Pleasure for us.
- How special it was.
- It's been fun, Walt.
- Thank you, mr.
Devil.
- I hope you enjoyed it.
- Thank you, mr.
Driver.
- Very enjoyable.
- Thank you, mr.
Marshall.
I can't thank you guys enough.
You know, it--it was the best anniversary gift, You know, a New Jersey-ite could ever get.
Daneyko played for 20 years and all with the same team.
So I hope that inspired you a little bit.
You're like a Daneyko.
You're our Daneyko, dude.
- Iron Man, right? - Yeah, yeah.
All--all this time with one organization.
Soon I'm going to surpass Dano, And maybe I'll get my number hanging from the rafters At the Stash.
If I worked at that store for 15 years, I'd be hanging from the rafters at the Stash.
[laughter.]
Well, that's going to do it for another episode Of Comic Book Men.
I'm your host, Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Last one out of the Baxter Building, turn the lights off.
Good night.