Cow and Chicken (1997) s02e16 Episode Script

1
Chicken? You're eleven now.
Mama and I decided long ago
that every other male child in our family
should learn to operate the food catapult.
That's right, dear!
So, you wouldn't starve in case we were
Gone?
- On vacation!
- On vacation!
Let her rip, son!
All right, Mr. Pork Butt. Up you go.
Up to the catapult.
Oh, big brother!
Oh, I am so proud of you!
Come on! Come on!
Yeah!
Startin' to feel proud here.
Oh, Dad! Not in front of the children.
Pardon.
I will have another pork butt, senor!
Okay! Pork hiney for the Cow!
Eat this!
Oh, please, may Cow shut her pie hole!
Oh, wow! Oh, that was great, Chicken!
Chicken?
Cow swallowed Chicken.
Well, what are we gonna do, Mama?
We had better get Cow to Doctor Bottoms,
the kids' pediatrician.
And fast!
Hey! Where the heck am I?
Weenie?
Milk?
Cookies?
Oh, geez! I must be in Cow's stomach!
I gotta try and get out of here.
Convenient.
I don't know where I'm going,
but here I go!
Weird.
Stomach-acid burn!
Great! Cow Enzyme Guys.
Hey, boy! You got a real purty beak!
You paddle good, boy!
You had better paddle real good!
Waterfall!
This looks complicated!
We've got to act quickly!
I know.
We'll need the paper gown with no back.
There! That's better.
Now, for a few tests!
Milk sample!
Doctor Bottoms? What's that for?
Well, I'm thirsty
and your daughter's a cow.
Do the math!
My little sister Cow is fatter than I thought.
This stomach is huge!
Whirlpool!
I'm feelin' a little flush!
Oh, my! Your son is in grave danger!
You mean he's not in Cow?
These are a cow's four stomachs.
Your son could be digested
by a bunch of enzymes.
Is that a bad thing?
I see you're a simpleton.
Things don't look good, Mom and Dad!
Gee, thanks!
You enzymes seem really nice.
If the enzymes get your son
into the fourth stomach,
he's doomed!
Why? Why?
She wants to know why. Why?
Say, good-lookin',
a bunch of us enzyme girls
was going to the fourth stomach.
You want to come?
Ladies, I is there.
He's not out of the woods yet.
But using this state-of-the-art miniature
medical camera,
we might get an idea of what we can do!
Your son is headed for the fourth stomach,
with enzymes of questionable morals!
I'm going in!
Chicken! Don't go in!
Those guys ain't girls!
Oh, come with me if you want to live!
Quick! Grab my hand!
No!
Grab my hand!
You're coming with us, Chicken!
We ain't gonna make it, Doctor Bottoms!
Chicken, I can't make it!
I've cracked my gluteus maximus!
You're in the prime of your life!
Go on without me!
Chicken! You're all right!
Oh, big brother!
I thought I would never see you again!
Yeah! But the Pantsless Doctor!
Poor guy. He didn't make it.
Well, you know what that means?
Yup! We'll have to find ourselves
a new pediatrician!
Boogie!
Hey, geez, Cow!
You gotta get out of my tree fort!
You're gonna break it!
Why?
One, it's for men only.
And B, you're a six-hundred-pound girl!
This is the happiest day of my life!
This is the flattest day of my life.
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
Join us now for another chapter of
"Uncle Breezybum's Storybook Corner",
starring me, Uncle Breezybum!
Men, the fictitious story
you are about to hear is true
Only my name has been changed
to protect the innocent! Me!
Just listen.
That was the leather chair.
All right, it wasn't! Where were we?
"Once upon a time in a land
that was old and stinky
lived a stinky old red-butt baboon
named I.R. Baboon.
But our story's about the, kitchen. Yes!
Over by the, sink!
Well, the story is about the, sponge!
Hey, Dad, give me five bucks
and your car keys, man!
No, not this kind of a sponge!
Sponge, sponge!
Way down deep, deep, deep!
Deep inside the sponge
was an enchanted fairyland
with a swarm of baboon pixie faeries.
And they frolic around.
And sing loudly.
Cland, Cland, Cland wend the trolley. ♪
Yo-ho! Yo-ho! ♪
And their leader
was a tiny pixie faerie, Weasel.
A voluptuous pixie faerie Weasel.
Hey, wait a minute!
Just joking. A manly Weasel.
Citizens of Sponge,
it is time for another presidential election.
And I'd be honored
if you would again choose me
as your beloved leader.
Yeah, Weasel our beloved!
If I am re-elected, I promise you
more wetness than ever before!
We are wanting wetness!
Wetness! Weasel! Weasel!
Phooey on wetness!
I.R. sick of being wet all time.
I.R. turning into cocoon. Lookie!
We are hating wetness!
Well, then I'll make it dry!
Okay!
Hey, Why are Weasel president?
Should be I.R. as president!
No!
I.R. Baboon and I vote for me president.
Oh, yeah? Who you think you are?
I.R. president! Not you!
Nah!
Now, now, simmer down, fellas.
You can't all be president.
That would be anarchy.
Besides, the election isn't until next month.
That means I'm still president
for four more weeks.
And so it was then that the pixie baboons
decided to impeach President Weasel!
Hey! What impeach?
Yo! Him say peach Weasel!
Yeah! Peach Weasel! Peach Weasel!
Well, the majority have spoken.
I here by concede to my worthy opponents
I.R. Baboon
Well, it looked like old ex-President Weasel
was about to get the boot.
The shrimpy citizens of Sponge
were overjoyed
to be rid of President Weasel.
I.R. president, not you! Na-na-na-na-na-na! ♪
Then the tiny Pixie Faerie Baboons
left their Sponge
and infested regular
I.R. Baboon's pathetic trailer,
and made a beeline for regular Baboon's
finger!
Notice how I didn't say what you thought
I was going to say.
This is a family show.
Meanwhile, back to big baboon's finger.
Hey! Who are coming into I.R.'s house
and chewing on
finger?
I.R. Presidents.
And we are you bosses now!
Got it, you?
I.R. so scared of insects baboons.
Yes!
It seemed that the pixies
had finally figured out
how to all be president at once.
All they needed was somebody
to boss around.
Hey, laundry boy!
Tiny baboons pretty dusty here! Go!
All right, already! Holding your thoraxes.
But I.R. was determined to get even.
Soon I.R. fixing pixies' little red wagons.
Little pixie faerie strip.
Little pixie faerie bug bomb.
Hey! Who sliced the Limburger?
I.R. guessing they should wrap up
I.R.'s faerie problem.
Well, it appears that I.R.
did have things wrapped up after all.
He was all tied up
in magical golden pixie floss.
Meanwhile
I hate to think what will happen
to them without my leadership.
But the little weasel's luck
was about to make a big turn
for the worse!
Good gravy!
I've hit a tiny pixie faerie weasel!
Don't worry little fella, for I.M. Weasel.
There now
You're gonna be just fine.
Please, help.
Yes? Yes?
Must help pixie baboons.
They are stupid
and know not what they do.
Save them from themselves.
Promise?
I promise!
Then the tiny weasel faerie
gave up the ghost
with one last blast of magic fairy dust,
transforming Weasel into a
pixie faerie weasel!
Now that I'm a faerie, I must leave you.
Yes, Mr. Weasel had been bestowed
with magical faerie powers.
But with these powers
came an awesome responsibility.
Save them from themselves
Promise me?
A promise is a promise.
For I.M. Weasel!
Well, Weasel searched high and low
and finally spotted I.R.'s trailer.
Egads!
Baboon cocoon!
I.R., old man, who did this to you?
Pixies did it!
Hey, fellas, look!
It's Ex-President Weasel.
And he are trying to take over again!
That old Weasel
had to do some fast thinking.
Stop! I'm not here to take over.
I just wanted to know
if I could have this old sponge.
Okay, go ahead. Take old stinky sponge.
I.R. Presidents not care.
Now I can move it to Florida and sell it
on the old sponge real estate market.
I'll make millions.
Millions?
Hey! Weasel trying to steal place
Where I.R.'s live!
And the faerie postal worker flew
with his precious cargo
of tiny baboons to Florida.
Then the handsome Weasel flew
to rescue the trapped Baboon,
but he was too late.
The cocoon was now a Chrysalis.
Dang! I'm too late.
But suddenly the Chrysalis began
to shiver and crack.
And to the Weasel's surprise,
the Baboon had transformed into
a faerie princess baboon butterfly
with a big purple strap-on Dynel Wig!
Hey! What gives?
And the faerie prince weasel flew
into his arms and gave him a big hug.
And they lived happily ever after.
The end.
Well, men, I hope you enjoy
Once upon a time
there was a big, fat, red pantsless guy
who made up stories that weren't true.
Yeah. And suddenly
he becomes a big fat faerie
with a giant pink wig and matching tutu.
Yeah! And then he got trapped
in big old cocoon!
Come on, pal. I'll buy you a root beer.
Hey, check out the plumage.
And then his wings fell off.