Gintama (2005) s02e16 Episode Script

Rhinoceros Beetles Teach Boys that Life is Precious

I lost again! Damn it! I've been totally defeated! He's really strong, huh? Yo-chan's Akebono-X is unstoppable! [Note: Akebono is a former sumo wrestler.
.]
Way tougher than the real Akebono! That's because he eats a different type of food than your ragged-looking beetles.
Come on, who's next? We will take on any challenger.
Yeah, yeah! I'll go next.
Oh, Kagura.
All right, I'll put a dent in your pride.
[Reference to Tetsujin No.
28.]
My Sadaharu No.
28 doesn't eat the same food your beetles eat either.
Get him, Sadaharu No.
28!! It eats a different type of food, but It looks like a different type of beetle? What is this? It's a dung beetle.
Hey! You mean it eats poop?! Right.
Isn't it amazing? Isn't it self-sufficient? Isn't it really great? You're the amazing one for grabbing such a thing! Where did you even find it, anyway? Don't you know the rules?! This is a game of rhinoceros beetle sumo wrestling! Hey, hey, don't you realize it's that kind of conservative thinking that's ruining the world of sumo? That's enough! Get lost! Yo, yo, you'd better play nice.
Anyway, can I play? There's no one left on my squad who can win against my Sadomaru No.
21.
[Sadaharu No.
28.]
Kagura-chan, let's go home.
Leave her alone.
Even if it's just a dung beetle, she loved the little poop-eater.
That bastard, he took away all our beetles He must be the one who's been going around beetle hunting.
He's so immature.
What is he thinking? Sadaharu Sadaharu No.
21 Oh, I mean No.
28! [This show is GinTama.
It's not XX-King.
.]
[Note: Spoof of Mushi-King.]
[Today, everybody goes bug hunting.
Beetle hunting time!.]
["Rhinoceros Beetles Teach Boys that Life is Precious".]
Beetle hunting time! Beetle hunting time! Beetle hunting time! Shut up! What are you screaming about?! I'm going beetle hunting.
What do you think? What do I think? Just go.
Don't say "Just go"! Listen! I'm out of patience! That bastard killed my sweet Sadaharu No.
28! And even Akebono-X was defeated.
He took all our beetles.
Hey, are you listening? Yeah, I'm listening.
I'm listening.
So, I want to avenge everyone.
Hey, are you listening? Yeah, I'm listening.
I'm listening.
So, I need to catch a big, strong beetle to beat his Mazomaru.
Huh? Sazomaru? Which one was it? Hey, which one was it? Yeah, I'm listening.
I'm listening.
Anyway, I'm going to defeat that bastard's freaky-maru.
So please teach me how to catch a beetle.
The rhinoceros beetle boom is back, huh? Everything comes back eventually, huh? Having beetles do sumo seems to have become very popular lately.
Come on, teach me.
Yeah, I'm listening, I'm listening.
Not "I'm listening," but "teach me.
" Huh? You know, I think Akebono should switch to pro wrestling.
You didn't hear me at all! Enough, already.
Come with me.
I really want a beetle! No kidding.
Why should I go catch beetles at my age? Do your own independent research.
Anyway, I'm not going to do anything for no pay What?! Is this beetle that expensive? You can buy a car at that price! Well, yeah, but to me, he's more valuable than a car.
Expensive beetles like this are appearing, so even adults are getting involved.
And the beetle boom is booming.
Beetle hunting time! Hunt, hunt and hunt some more! Hunt, sell and sell some more! Why do we always end up like this? Listen up, you guys! We're not going home until we've caught a giant beetle.
This is serious business.
Business! Don't get excited and think we're here for camping! The forest is like a demon.
If you drop your guard, it'll swallow you up in an instant.
Don't worry.
I'm prepared.
I bought plenty of food.
Food? Those are snacks, aren't they? You think this is a picnic, don't you? Idiot! You're too excited! I said you only had 300 yen for snacks, remember?! You, too! No, silly! Pickled seaweed doesn't really count as a snack! It does! Everything you put in your mouth is counted as a snack.
Juice isn't allowed, either! Are you sure about that? I know you secretly put Pocari in your water bottle! [Note: Pocari Sweat is a sports drink.
.]
That isn't Pocari.
The bottle was just dirty.
I hope you guys get swallowed up by the forest I'm surprised we can't find any I thought we'd find them easily What should we do? Pour honey all over your body and stand still.
They'll come running.
No, only perverts will come.
[HONEY.]
Gin-san, let's go home.
This forest frightens me.
His whole body was covered with honey.
Don't worry.
He's an elf.
A Tree Sap elf.
He protects the forest that way.
But somehow, he looks familiar to me It's Gorilla.
It was Gorilla.
Then he's the gorilla elf.
He's protecting the gorillas.
That doesn't make any sense at all.
Gin-san, let's go home.
This forest is getting really scary now.
He was brushing mayonnaise on that tree.
Don't worry.
He's a mayonnaise sprite.
That's how they mark their territory.
But I'm sure I've seen him somewhere before.
Then, he's a nicotine fairy.
He's protecting cigarettes.
[Note: The way he says this is a homonym for "smiling penis".
.]
Then, he's a nicotine fairy.
He's protects cigarettes.
He's making this stuff up.
Whoa! Wh-What's the hell is that?! Wow! Incredible! Look at the size of that thing!! Why are you just standing there?! Hurry up and knock it down! Come on! Drop! All right! Now I can avenge Sadaharu No.
28 What are you doing?! Take this! What are you doing here?! Isn't it obvious? The only obvious thing is that you're an idiot.
Hey, sorry, help me up.
I can't get up by myself.
Um I was pretending to be their friend and trying to get close to them.
Now it's all messed up.
Hey, what's going on here? Hey, you guys! What are you doing here?! What are we doing? Is that something a person completely covered in honey has the right to ask? We're police officers.
Now answer the question.
What kind of police business involves covering yourself in honey, honey? We don't have to explain anything to someone like you.
It's to catch beetles.
He said it.
Isn't there something more? To catch beetles?! Hey, hey, you're collecting tax money and spending it on your vacation? Are you guys crazy? This is serious work! Anyway, you're creating a disturbance, so get out of this forest.
Are you kidding?! We came all the way here to catch the phantom giant beetle! I want to avenge Sadaharu No.
28! What are you talking about? You were watching a beetle match and you got so excited you crushed your dung beetle yourself! But who made me so excited?! Whose fault was that?! It was you.
Sogo, you've been using unorthodox tactics to hunt beetles again.
I told you to stop.
And catching beetles by painting the forest with mayonnaise isn't unorthodox? Toshi, you're still trying to catch beetles with mayonnaise? I said it's impossible.
Let's go with Operation Honey! No, let's go with Mayonnaise Desperation.
No, let's go with the Narikiri Wars Episode III.
No, let's go with the Injured Honey Murder in Steam.
Oh, there! Chief, look! It's time for beetle hunting! Hey, wait! Don't touch that beetle! I'm ordering you to go home! Bite me! I won't let you keep them all for yourself.
Those beetles belong to everyone! I mean, they all belong to me! Damn it! Hey, don't let him get it! We have to get it first! Beetle hunting time! Beetle Smash! Beetle Kick! Bee tle?! Crash!! Beetle I won't let you say that! Beetle I'll say it Beetle Bee eee tle Hey, wait We're friends, right? We are Buster! It's gone It sure is gone Really, what a troublesome group of misfits.
What should we do, Toshi? For now, we have to make sure they don't find out about it.
They're sure to make trouble if they learn the truth.
After all, it's worth a king's ransom.
Right! We'll search for it all night.
We have to return "Rurimaru" to Shogun-sama as soon as possible.
Yeah! That girlI'll beat her this time This curry isn't very tasty.
I told you I like country-style curry with potato and vegetables melted into a thick stew.
Shut up! Why are you speaking with a Kansai accent?! If you like it thick, then put slime on your rice and suck it! You have to sauté the onions to a golden brown.
That's the cardinal rule of cooking curry! If you're going to cook, do it right, uh-huh! Ah! How 'bout I sauté you to a golden brown? Ah? How 'bout I microwave you till you explode? Yeah, yeah.
Cut it out, you two.
You guys have been on edge ever since we met the Shinsengumi.
But I'm not blaming you after that nasty battle.
Well, let's enjoy dinner, at least.
Anyway, I wonder if they really came here to catch beetles.
In fact, they look too serious Hey! What was that for, Kagura-chan?! A mosquito Let's go back to what I was talking about A mosquito You bastards, stop it already! Are you using mosquitoes as an excuse to take out your frustrations on me? No, but the mosquito Seriously, cut it out.
How can we hunt beetles effectively when we're so divided? All right, I'm sorry.
I was being childish.
I'm sorry, Kagura.
I'll try to make country-style curry next time.
Well, that's all right.
I actually prefer city-style better than country-style.
I'm sorry, Gin-chan.
I see.
Then I'll make city-style curry next time.
You bastard, Shinpachi! You were pretending to be a good boy, but you were waiting for your chance! You're so optimistic! You know how many years I've been around you?! The curry! The city-style curry! How could you do this to me?! I was going to have seconds! I only had two bites! What are you going to do about this?! I didn't even take a bite! Understand?! Yamazaki, that's enough.
It worked.
Yes, sir.
But they're such dopes.
They have a falling out just over mosquitoes.
After they've beaten each other to a pulp, they'll leave the forest.
Not necessarily.
You never know with these guys.
I'm so hungry I can't sleep.
It's all in your head.
It's not my head, it's my stomach, uh-huh! At least you ate a whole plate! I wanted lots of helpings, not just one.
What's that smell?! Yummy! Nothing beats a barbecue when you're camping! You can eat curry at our house anytime! And it was a pain to haul pickled vegetables out here! Hey, where's the mayonnaise? Vice-Chief, this is a ploy to make them think we're enjoying a good meal.
So mayonnaise isn't Bastard! Are you disrespecting mayonnaise?! Mayonnaise goes well with everything! Hi, you guys, are you still here? The mosquitoes will eat you alive if you sleep in a cheap tent like that.
Oops! I dropped it! Hey, Captain Okita! Forget about it.
There's plenty more over here, so come back! All right.
So, I've got to go.
Ah! You can eat that if you want.
Look at their faces.
It's only a matter of time before they get so hungry they leave the forest Huh?! There's nothing like pickled seaweed when you're camping.
Barbecue? Isn't that tacky? Isn't it too ordinary? Isn't it boring? City people eat pickled seaweed.
What?! They're roasting pickled seaweed and eating it! That looks pathetic! So pathetic! Hey, tax thieves! You're still here? Who are you calling tax thieves? There's no way we're gonna give you our barbecue.
You know If you guys barbecue at a place like this, you know It's going to be Ua problem U Hey, what are you doing? What are you? That's disgusting! She puked in it!! Gross! It reeks! How could you do that?! Now I don't feel like eating anymore! Ah, shoot! I feel Ugh! Yamazaki threw up, too! I see Just as I thought, they were tough.
We didn't have any success, either.
All we caught were ordinary beetles Look, men, even if the chief asks you, you can say no if you don't like it.
Well, but it's The Honey Plan.
But why did you have to put honey all over yourselves?! Shogun-sama said he lost Rurimaru while recuperating at his second villa in this forest.
Where could Rurimaru be? Huh? Speaking of that, where's Sogo? He went off on his own again.
He's such a rogue.
He's been shaking down kids for their beetles.
So rotten.
Rurimaru looks like a glittering jewel of living gold.
But at first glance, he's just like any other beetle.
A glittering jewel of living gold Does a bug like that really Gin-chan! Shinpachi! Look! Look at that! There's something strange over there! Huh? Does something weird mean a gorilla covered in mayonnaise again? You always find something weird.
No, no! That one! It's a shiny golden beetle! What?! She found it so easily! No! That is Wait! Did you just hear a weird voice? In the forest, there're still many mysterious creatures that humans don't know about.
Don't worry about everything.
Calm down.
If we make a fuss, they'll realize how valuable Rurimaru is.
Let's see how it goes.
Isn't it a toy or something? No, not that.
It's a blow-fly.
Don't touch it! It's really filthy.
See, they're complete idiots.
Idiots! But it looks so cool! It's so shiny.
I said no.
They're infested in poop.
It's the same in nature and the human world, something this flashy is never good.
Yes! They left! They really are imbeciles!! Now! Hurry up and get Rurimaru! Rurimaru! No! This terrible! Whoa! It's gross! There's a blow-fly on your head! W-Wait! Don't move! Don't move! You've got cooties! Stop! That's the Shogun's pet! Die, you bastard! Damn it! It's too quick! Ow! That hurts! Hey, hold still! The blow-fly is on your head! It thinks you're poop! Wait! Wait! Wait! Don't do it!! That is Whoa! RuriRurimaru! That hurts! You guys are so mean! Even if it is just a blow-fly, it's a living thing! Don't you feel sorry for it?! Ah, that's a relief! It seems to be all right.
Wait! It's not a blow-fly.
It's That's actually This little one flew to me because he likes me.
He must be Sadaharu No.
28's successor.
Hey, are you listening to me?! This is the time to avenge your predecessor! Let's go, Sadaharu No.
29! Hey, wait! That's the Shogun's-! Shogun'swhat? Huh? The Shogun's pet? That's right.
Under the Bakufu's order, we came here to capture Shogun-sama's beloved pet, Rurimaru.
So that's it.
I knew you were up to something.
Hey, hey.
You came all the way out here for just a bug? What a tough assignment for a government official.
That's why I didn't want to tell him.
Well, now that they know the whole story.
Let's get them to help us.
It's 60%! Huh? Right now, Little Lolimaru is already in our hands.
It's Rurimaru.
Here's the deal.
If you want Porimaru back, you have to agree to our terms.
It's Rurimaru.
If you capture Gorimaru, you'll get some great reward, right? So I'm saying I take 60% of it.
It's Rurimaru.
That's why I didn't want to tell him.
I agree.
All right, it's a deal.
Shinpachi, it looks like we don't have to worry about the rent for a while.
Sweet! I finally found you, Mazo-no, Sazomaru! Sogo?! Kagura? Huh? What is she doing? I have a bad feeling Kagura! Sogo! What are you doing?! I'm going to avenge Sadaharu No.
28.
I'm challenging you to a duel.
I knew you'd come.
I've prepared my best bug for this occasion.
I'm looking forward to it.
I'll show you the strength of Sadaharu No.
29.
Now! Let's have a fair fight! Wait! They're going to have a beetle sumo match! Kagura, listen to me! That's the shogun's pet! If you hurt it, we'll be in big trouble! They'll make us commit seppuku! Seppuku! Toshi! Well, just wait.
If Sogo wins, we'll get Rurimaru back for free.
I think Sogo made a calculated decision.
He won't do anything violent.
He's not that stupid.
Behold the brutal and monstrous man-eating beetle king, Sadomaru No.
22 Kabuto! He's that stupid! Hey! Hold on!! Do you realize what that thing will do to Rurimaru if they fight? I'm going to crush him.
Right! It'll reduce him to pieces! Kagura-chan, Sadaharu No.
29 will be demolished into pieces! Fighting isn't about body size! It's about guts! You're the only one who has guts! It's a pampered upbringing.
Lolimaru had a pampered upbringing and was protected by the Shogun! I said it's Rurimaru! We have to stop them! Hurry up and stop them! It's impossible! I can't climb this cliff! We have to work together! There's no hardship we can't overcome if four samurai work together! Then you'll be the base! I'll climb and do something! No way! You be the base! Now isn't the time to argue! We're wasting precious time! Grow up and be a good stepping-stone! There's no way I'm gonna get down on all fours for you! You grow up! Kabuto! Take this! Sado-beam! Tsk.
How obstinate! Can I defeat you now? I didn't get your answer, though [Note: Parody of Kamen Rider Den-O phrase.
.]
Ah! Oh, no! Go! Sadomaru! Sado-slash! Beetle hunting! Sadomaru! Yes! He did it! Mister! How dare you? My Sadomaru! Gin-chan, you're so mean! You disrupted our match! Ow! Ow! You idiots! If you want to fight, then get into the ring yourselves and duke it out! You shouldn't toy with other creatures' lives! I'll kill you, you bastards! Beetles, earthworms or water striders, All life is prec- A small life was snuffed out prematurely, butwe're all friends So let's not forget our joint responsibility in this tragedy.
[The Metropolitan Police Department.]
Yo! Thanks for your hard work in capturing that beetle.
And did you find it, Toshi? Well, we did manage to find it, but Um It evolved Commit seppuku.
The next episode "Dango Over Flowers.
" It's too simple for a title.
[A dango battle over the existence of the shop! Konpeito VS Andromeda.]
[Save the old established shop! The Odd Jobs Trio goes into battle! "You'd better eat when you can!".]

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