Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s02e16 Episode Script
It's a Terrible Life/Leroy Gets Canned
1
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE DUMP HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
THERE. PERFECT.
THIS QUICK-DRYING PAIN
SHOULD TAKE
ABOUT ONE NAP TO DRY.
BANZAI!
YECH!
HEY, WHO PU
THIS GOOEY STUFF ON THE PORCH?
[SQUISHING]
MMM
CAUGHT YOU RED-PAWED!
MY PORCH!
YOU WORTHLESS BEAST!
OLD GRUMP.
CAN'T TAKE A JOKE.
FOR SHE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELINE ♪
WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY
OH, LEFTY, KNUCKLES, RAUL.
YOU REMEMBERED.
Heathcliff:
REMEMBERED WHAT?
OH, NOTHING IMPORTANT,
HEATHCLIFF--
FORMERBOYFRIEND.
JUST MY BIRTHDAY.
GEE.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
OOOH!
AAH!
[TARZAN YELL]
I'LL JUST SETTLE HERE
FOR A NICE CATNAP.
STUPID SCHOOL JUNK!
MY ESSAY!
OH, NO!
HEATHCLIFF!
HOW COULD YOU?
I'LL SHOW THEM.
THOSE CAT-HATERS.
I'LL RUN AWAY
AND NEVER COME BACK.
HMM. THE FRENCH CAT LEGION.
THAT'S IT.
[MEOW]
DOWN WITH THE DESER
RAT HORDES!
UP WITH
THE SHISH KEBAB!
I'LL SHOW THEM ALL.
"AND SINCE NOBODY
SEEMS TO NEED ME, IGGY,
"I'M OFF TO JOIN
THE FRENCH CAT LEGION--
"FOR LIFE. MAYBE LONGER.
THE NEIGHBORHOOD
WON'T HAVE HEATHCLIFF
TO KICK AROUND ANYMORE."
P.A.: LAST CALL FOR FLIGHT 86
TO THE BURNING SAHARA DESERT.
AAH!
OHI'LL MAKE IT.
JUST HANG ON.
Cat with French accent:
WELCOME, LOWLY RECRUITS.
LET ME TELL YOU A TALE OF
A NOW-LEGENDARY LEGIONNAIRE.
THERE WAS ONCE
A POOR, MISERABLE
EXCUSE FOR A CAT--
LIKE YOURSELVES--
WHO THOUGH
HE COULD ESCAPE LIFE'S
TRIALS BY COMING HERE.
HE WAS ARROGANT, LAZY,
AND STRONG-WILLED.
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
THAT'S MY KIND OF CAT.
Commandant: SO HE RAN AWAY
FROM HIS SHADOW-LIFE
TO BECOME
A LEGIONNAIRE HERO
AND FIGH
THE DESERT RAT HORDES.
BUT WHAT IT TAKES
TO BE A HERO IS SWEAT,
HARD WORK
ALMOST FREE.
AND ABSOLUTE OBEDIENCE.
THAT MISERABLE
YOUNG CATWAS ME.
AND I'M HERE
TO TELL YOU
IF THE SUN
DOESN'T GET YOU,
THE DESERT WILL.
[PANTING]
Commandant: AND IF THE DESER
DOESN'T GET YOU,
IWILL!
OHHH
AAH!
YOU REALLY KNOW
HOW TO MAKE A CA
FEEL WELCOME.
GET INTO YOUR UNIFORM
AND REPORT FOR DUTY!
[BLOWS TRUMPET]
AAH!
LATER, CLYDE.
WHERE CAN I GRAB
A CATNAP?
[LOUD NOTE]
YEOOOW!
I THINK THE COMMANDAN
LIKES YOU.
HOW DO YOU
FIGURE THAT?
BECAUSE YOUR UNIFORM
HAS SLEEVES.
ATTENTION!
LINE UP FOR EXERCISE!
WHAT? AND WRINKLE
MY NEW UNIFORM?
[CRASH]
LET ME TALK
TO THE BOSS.
AS YOU'VE PROBABLY GUESSED,
HEIS THE BOSS.
PITY. IT'S NO
COOKED RIGHT YET.
IF I NEVER SEE
ANOTHER POTATO AGAIN,
IT'LL BE TOO SOON.
HUH?HUH?
YEOW!
AND I CAME HERE
JUST TO FIGH
DESERT RAT HORDES.
THE DESERT RAT HORDES
CAN WAIT.
AND AFTER
YOU'RE THROUGH HERE,
I'VE GOT SOME WORK
FOR YOU IN MY
CACTUS GARDEN.
I THINK HE--AIE!--
LIKES YOU--OUCH!
WHAT DO YOU--AAH!--
MEAN?
YOUR SHOVEL HAS
A--AIEE!--HANDLE.
Legionnaire: I STILL
SAY HE LIKES YOU.
Heathcliff:
YEAH, YEAH.
SOON THEY'LL
BE CALLING ME
THE COMMANDANT'S PET.
[GRUNTING]
VOILA! BRAVO!
HA HA HA!
THAT'S IT.
I'VE HAD IT.
I'M A CAT,
NOT A MOLE.
UH-OH.
YEOW!
ON THE OTHER HAND,
I NEVER TIRE
OF GARDENING.
I'M NOT SPENDING
ANOTHER NIGH
IN THIS DUMP.
[SNICKERS]
I GUESS I TOLD HIM.
UGH!
Commandant:
A LETTER FROM HOME
FOR OUR BRAVE LEGIONNAIRE.
HA HA HA!
Iggy: "DEAR HEATHCLIFF,
WE ALL MISS YOU.
"YOU REMEMBER OUR MILKMAN?
"SINCE YOU LEFT,
HE HASN'T BEEN GETTING
MUCH EXERCISE.
[WHISTLES]
HEATHCLIFF!
COME AND GET IT!
AW
YEOW!
OOH! OOH!
"SPIKE HAS BECOME
A TERRIBLE BULLY.
YIIII!
"MARCY HAS NO ONE
TO PUSH AROUND
IN HER BUGGY.
"SONJA STILL
THINKS OF YOU,
BUT KNUCKLES IS HERE,
AND YOU AREN'T."
[SOBBING]
I'VE GOT TO GET BACK.
I'VE HAD IT!
WRONG CLAW.
[PRYING AT LOCK]
[LOCK OPENS]
FREE AT LAST!
YOU'VE BROUGH
DISGRACE TO
THE LEGION!
YOU'LL GE
STRICT PUNISHMENT.
I'LLGIVE YOU
SOME PUNISHMENT.
[GROWLING]
DO YOU HAVE
A LAST REQUES
BEFORE YOU FACE
THE POTATO
LOB SQUAD?
YEAH. DON'T SCOOP.
YOU HAVE BUT ONE
ALTERNATIVE.
NOW WHAT?
A CACTUS OVERCOAT?
SHORT-SHEETING
MY CELL?
YOU MUS
SINGLE-HANDEDLY BATTLE
THE DESERT RAT HORDE.
[SHOUTING]
YOU ARE NOW READY
TO PROVE YOURSELF
AS A PROUD LEGIONNAIRE.
SURE YOU CAN'T SPARE
50 OR 60 LEGIONNAIRES?
LOOK AT THOSE RATS.
THEY'RE AS BIG AS SPIKE--
AND JUST AS DUMB.
SO WHAT AM I
WORRIED ABOUT?
[SHOUTING]
OLE!
AT THIS RATE,
IT'S GOING TO TAKE ALL DAY.
[SHOUTING]
HUH?HUH?HUH?
[CRASH]
HE WAS A BRAVE
LEGIONNAIRE KITTY CAT--
BAD POTATO MASHER,
TERRIBLE GARDENER--
BUT A BRAVE LEGIONNAIRE.
AND NOW,
INTO THE NIGHT--
OR DAY
OR WHATEVER.
[GASPS]
ALORS,HE IS GONE.
BUT HIS LEGEND WILL LIVE ON!
WELCOME, LOWLY RECRUITS.
LET ME TELL YOU A TALE
OF A NOW-LEGENDARY
LEGIONNAIRE NAMED
HEATHCLIFF.
[CLANGING]
THERE'S NO PLACE
LIKE HOME.
[SNORES]
OH, LEROY?
YOU CAN
WAKE UP NOW.
WE'RE
ALL INSIDE.
[YAWNS]
WHAT THE--
[GRUNTING]
[GROWLS]
AUGH!
OLE!
OLE!OLE!
OOF!
Cats: OLE!
OLE!
OLE!
OLE!
[PANTING]
BOO!
YIKE!
Cats: OLE!
[CHEERING]
RIFF RAFF! RIFF RAFF!
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
OOHH
WHERE'D THE TREE
COME FROM?
LEROY!
YEEEOW!
OHH!
THAT'S IT!
YOU'RE A DISGRACE!
AN EMBARRASSMEN
TO THE FORCE!
YOU--YOU'RE FIRED!
OOH!
YOU HEAR THAT?
LEROY'S BEEN CANNED.
LEROY'S FIRED?
HAPPY DAY!
NOW HE WON'
BE IN OUR WAY!
Cats: LEROY'S GONE
FAR AWAY ♪
DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH
LEROY'S GONE
AND WE CAN PLAY ♪
ALL DOO-DAH DAY
I JUST HOPE
LEROY'S ALL RIGHT.
LISTEN, BUDDY--
YOU CAN'T PAY
FOR THE BONE,
YOU WASH DISHES.
[SIGHS]
WHEW. SURE GLAD
THAT'S OVER.
HUH?
NEXT.
I STILL THINK
YOU'RE GOING TO REGRE
LEROY'S GETTING FIRED.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THE JUNKYARD'S
ALL OURS NOW.
WHERE DO YOUSE THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
DUH, INSIDE.
NOT WHILE BRUTUS
IS ON DUTY.
YIKES!
OOH!
OOW!
OOF!
I SAID YOU'D
BE SORRY.
YEAH? WELL,
THE CATILLAC CATS WILL
SHOW THAT WALKING MUSCLE
WHO BELONGS
IN THE JUNKYARD.
COME ON!
IT'S OK, MUNGO.
GET STARTED.
WHA--?
HE'S SELLING
ALL OUR THINGS.
YEAH. AND WE BETTER
COME UP WITH A WAY
TO STOP THE BONE-BRAIN--
FAST.
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
HUH?
HI, THERE,
CUTIE.
I SAY, LARGE DOG,
WE WISH TO PURCHASE
A CADILLAC.
WOULD YOU HAVE
SUCH A CAR
IN THE JUNKYARD?
DUH--DUH--DUH
YOUSE FOLLOW ME--
ESPECIALLY YOUSE.
OUCH!
LISTEN, YOUSE DOGS
WANT THIS CAR,
I'LL MAKE YOUSE
AN OFFER YOUSE
CAN'T REFUSE--
ESPECIALLY YOUSE.
Mungo: I DIDN'
KNOW A GUARD
[FALSETTO]
COULD SELL STUFF
FROM A JUNKYARD.
HA HA HA! THERE'S NOBODY
AROUND HERE TO SNITCH,
NOW THAT THOSE PESKY,
UPPITY CATS IS GONE.
HUH HUH HUH
[ENGINE REVS]
WHA--?
[TIRES SCREECH]
[SCREECH]
Riff Raff:
WORDSWORTH?
Cats:
WORDSWORTH! HURRY!
GOTCHA,
YOUSE CUTIE, YOUSE.
WE'LL BE BACK,
WORDSWORTH.
HEY, THEM DOGS
IS STEALING THE CADILLAC!
OH! OH! OH!
HUH?
YOUSE AIN'T A GIRL!
YOUSE IS A BOY!
A CATBOY!
OK. I'LL JUS
KEEP YOUSE HERE.
THAT'LL MAKE THEM
BRING THE CAR BACK.
HEE HEE HEE.
MAYBE WE COULD REPOR
BRUTUS TO THE SUPERVISOR
FOR SELLING STUFF
AGAINST THE RULES.
YEAH. BREAKING
RULES IS BAD.
HE'D NEVER
BELIEVE US--
WE'RE CATS. NAH,
THE ONLY WAY
OUT OF THIS MESS
IS TO FIND LEROY
AND GET HIM
TO HELP.
[RINGS]
[KIDS SHOUTING]
YUM!
[SLURP]
WAAAH!
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
CUDDLE FUR?
MOM, THAT MEAN DOG
TOOK MY ICE CREAM!
YOU--YOU
ICE CREAM THIEF!
Hector: IT'S NO USE--
WE'RE NEVER GONNA FIND LEROY.
YEOW!
WHOA!WHOA!WHOA!
Riff Raff: GET OFF ME,
YOU STUPID HOUND!
Cats: YIII!
[YELLING]
[TIRES SCREECH]
YII!
STOP IT NOW!
Hector:
WE'RE GONNA HIT!
[CHOMPING]
I GOT IT.
MAYBE WE CAN
USE THIS STUFF
TO CONVINCE
THE SUPERVISOR
BRUTUS IS
A LOUSY GUARD.
YOU WANT YOUR
JOB BACK, RIGHT?
MM-HMM.
GOOD. THEN HERE'S
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO
[WHISPERING]
MIGHT AS WELL
RELAX.
YOUSE IS GONNA
STAY RIGHT THERE
UNTIL YOUSE BUDDIES
BRING THAT CADILLAC
BACK.
HEH HEH HEH.
THEN I MIGH
ARRANGE IT SO'S
THEY JOIN YOUSE.
5, 6, 7, 8--HUH?
OH, BOY!
IT'S THE CADILLAC!
Mungo: DUH,
HIYA, WORDSWORTH.
A BUSH THAT TALKS,
AND EVEN WALKS?
IT'S ME--MUNGO.
THANKS, MR. BUSH.
STOP!
HEH HEH HEH.
HEY, UGLY!
OVER HERE!
WHY, YOU LITTLE--
HERE YOU GO.
THIS--THIS--WAIT!
[CRASH]
WELL, HURRY UP.
I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY.
I'M GONNA NAIL
YOUSE LOUSY CATS!
[GROWLING]
WHERE YOU HEADED
SO FAST, BIG BOY?
I GOTTA NAIL
THOSE PESKY CATS.
OH. YOU MEAN
LIKE THIS?
A CUTIE YOU MAY BE,
BUT YOU'RE NO
THE TYPE FOR ME.
[KISS]
YUCK!
KISSED BY A CAT!
PTOOEY!
I SAY, YOUSE MONGREL.
LIKE TO BUY A NICE PLANE?
I'LL MAKE YOU AN OFFER
YOUSE CAN'T REFUSE.
THAT'S IT!
I'M GONNA TURN YOU CATS
INTO PIECES OF JUNK!
[CHOMP CHOMP]
[GROWLS]
HUH?
AAAAAAHHHH!
YEEEOOOOOOWWW!
YEOW!
HUH?
OH!
Riff Raff: NOW, THAT'S
WHAT I CALL PLAYING--
CATILLAC CAT STYLE.
BUT WE'D BETTER
CLEAN UP OUR TOYS.
AUUUUGGGGHH!
WELL, CATS,
NOW THAT WE'VE
CLEANED UP OUR TOYS,
LET'S
GO ENJOY A COOL
GLASS OF MILK.
HEY, HEY, HEY,
YOU--
YEAH, YOU. LISTEN.
GET ME OUT OF HERE,
AND I'LL--I'LL--
I'LL SELL YOU ANYTHING
IN THE JUNKYARD
FOR HALF-PRICE.
YOU WILL? GEE.
I DIDN'T KNOW GUARDS
COULD SELL STUFF
THEY WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE GUARDING.
YEAH. YOU JUST GO
TO BE SMART, SEE?
THE SUPERVISOR GUARD
IS SO DUMB,
HE WOULDN'T KNOW
IF SOMEBODY SOLD
THE HAT OFF HIS HEAD.
HE MUST BE
REALDUMB.
HEH HEH HEH.
THE SUPERVISOR'S
SO DUMB,
HE SHOULD BE NAMED
DUMBO.
UH-OH.
OUT!
YOU MAY BE
A LOUSY GUARD,
LEROY,
BU
YOU'RE HONEST.
YOU CAN HAVE
YOUR JOB BACK.
YAHOO!
[WHISTLES]
GLAD TO HAVE
YOU BACK, LEROY,
NOW THA
EVERYTHING'S
NORMAL AGAIN.
[GROWLING]
Leroy: WAIT, YOU!
OOF!
YUP. EVERYTHING'S
BACK TO NORMAL.
HEY, JIM, MARY! WAIT TIL YOU SEE
MY NEW DOG!
WAAAAH!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE'S
AFRAID.
IF YOU'VE GOT VERY YOUNG
FRIENDS, INTRODUCE THEM
TO YOUR DOG BY KEEPING THE DOG
ON A LEASH IN THE BEGINNING
SO THEY KNOW YOU'VE GOT HIM
UNDER CONTROL.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
FOX FAMILY CHANNEL
AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE DUMP HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
THERE. PERFECT.
THIS QUICK-DRYING PAIN
SHOULD TAKE
ABOUT ONE NAP TO DRY.
BANZAI!
YECH!
HEY, WHO PU
THIS GOOEY STUFF ON THE PORCH?
[SQUISHING]
MMM
CAUGHT YOU RED-PAWED!
MY PORCH!
YOU WORTHLESS BEAST!
OLD GRUMP.
CAN'T TAKE A JOKE.
FOR SHE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELINE ♪
WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY
OH, LEFTY, KNUCKLES, RAUL.
YOU REMEMBERED.
Heathcliff:
REMEMBERED WHAT?
OH, NOTHING IMPORTANT,
HEATHCLIFF--
FORMERBOYFRIEND.
JUST MY BIRTHDAY.
GEE.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
OOOH!
AAH!
[TARZAN YELL]
I'LL JUST SETTLE HERE
FOR A NICE CATNAP.
STUPID SCHOOL JUNK!
MY ESSAY!
OH, NO!
HEATHCLIFF!
HOW COULD YOU?
I'LL SHOW THEM.
THOSE CAT-HATERS.
I'LL RUN AWAY
AND NEVER COME BACK.
HMM. THE FRENCH CAT LEGION.
THAT'S IT.
[MEOW]
DOWN WITH THE DESER
RAT HORDES!
UP WITH
THE SHISH KEBAB!
I'LL SHOW THEM ALL.
"AND SINCE NOBODY
SEEMS TO NEED ME, IGGY,
"I'M OFF TO JOIN
THE FRENCH CAT LEGION--
"FOR LIFE. MAYBE LONGER.
THE NEIGHBORHOOD
WON'T HAVE HEATHCLIFF
TO KICK AROUND ANYMORE."
P.A.: LAST CALL FOR FLIGHT 86
TO THE BURNING SAHARA DESERT.
AAH!
OHI'LL MAKE IT.
JUST HANG ON.
Cat with French accent:
WELCOME, LOWLY RECRUITS.
LET ME TELL YOU A TALE OF
A NOW-LEGENDARY LEGIONNAIRE.
THERE WAS ONCE
A POOR, MISERABLE
EXCUSE FOR A CAT--
LIKE YOURSELVES--
WHO THOUGH
HE COULD ESCAPE LIFE'S
TRIALS BY COMING HERE.
HE WAS ARROGANT, LAZY,
AND STRONG-WILLED.
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
THAT'S MY KIND OF CAT.
Commandant: SO HE RAN AWAY
FROM HIS SHADOW-LIFE
TO BECOME
A LEGIONNAIRE HERO
AND FIGH
THE DESERT RAT HORDES.
BUT WHAT IT TAKES
TO BE A HERO IS SWEAT,
HARD WORK
ALMOST FREE.
AND ABSOLUTE OBEDIENCE.
THAT MISERABLE
YOUNG CATWAS ME.
AND I'M HERE
TO TELL YOU
IF THE SUN
DOESN'T GET YOU,
THE DESERT WILL.
[PANTING]
Commandant: AND IF THE DESER
DOESN'T GET YOU,
IWILL!
OHHH
AAH!
YOU REALLY KNOW
HOW TO MAKE A CA
FEEL WELCOME.
GET INTO YOUR UNIFORM
AND REPORT FOR DUTY!
[BLOWS TRUMPET]
AAH!
LATER, CLYDE.
WHERE CAN I GRAB
A CATNAP?
[LOUD NOTE]
YEOOOW!
I THINK THE COMMANDAN
LIKES YOU.
HOW DO YOU
FIGURE THAT?
BECAUSE YOUR UNIFORM
HAS SLEEVES.
ATTENTION!
LINE UP FOR EXERCISE!
WHAT? AND WRINKLE
MY NEW UNIFORM?
[CRASH]
LET ME TALK
TO THE BOSS.
AS YOU'VE PROBABLY GUESSED,
HEIS THE BOSS.
PITY. IT'S NO
COOKED RIGHT YET.
IF I NEVER SEE
ANOTHER POTATO AGAIN,
IT'LL BE TOO SOON.
HUH?HUH?
YEOW!
AND I CAME HERE
JUST TO FIGH
DESERT RAT HORDES.
THE DESERT RAT HORDES
CAN WAIT.
AND AFTER
YOU'RE THROUGH HERE,
I'VE GOT SOME WORK
FOR YOU IN MY
CACTUS GARDEN.
I THINK HE--AIE!--
LIKES YOU--OUCH!
WHAT DO YOU--AAH!--
MEAN?
YOUR SHOVEL HAS
A--AIEE!--HANDLE.
Legionnaire: I STILL
SAY HE LIKES YOU.
Heathcliff:
YEAH, YEAH.
SOON THEY'LL
BE CALLING ME
THE COMMANDANT'S PET.
[GRUNTING]
VOILA! BRAVO!
HA HA HA!
THAT'S IT.
I'VE HAD IT.
I'M A CAT,
NOT A MOLE.
UH-OH.
YEOW!
ON THE OTHER HAND,
I NEVER TIRE
OF GARDENING.
I'M NOT SPENDING
ANOTHER NIGH
IN THIS DUMP.
[SNICKERS]
I GUESS I TOLD HIM.
UGH!
Commandant:
A LETTER FROM HOME
FOR OUR BRAVE LEGIONNAIRE.
HA HA HA!
Iggy: "DEAR HEATHCLIFF,
WE ALL MISS YOU.
"YOU REMEMBER OUR MILKMAN?
"SINCE YOU LEFT,
HE HASN'T BEEN GETTING
MUCH EXERCISE.
[WHISTLES]
HEATHCLIFF!
COME AND GET IT!
AW
YEOW!
OOH! OOH!
"SPIKE HAS BECOME
A TERRIBLE BULLY.
YIIII!
"MARCY HAS NO ONE
TO PUSH AROUND
IN HER BUGGY.
"SONJA STILL
THINKS OF YOU,
BUT KNUCKLES IS HERE,
AND YOU AREN'T."
[SOBBING]
I'VE GOT TO GET BACK.
I'VE HAD IT!
WRONG CLAW.
[PRYING AT LOCK]
[LOCK OPENS]
FREE AT LAST!
YOU'VE BROUGH
DISGRACE TO
THE LEGION!
YOU'LL GE
STRICT PUNISHMENT.
I'LLGIVE YOU
SOME PUNISHMENT.
[GROWLING]
DO YOU HAVE
A LAST REQUES
BEFORE YOU FACE
THE POTATO
LOB SQUAD?
YEAH. DON'T SCOOP.
YOU HAVE BUT ONE
ALTERNATIVE.
NOW WHAT?
A CACTUS OVERCOAT?
SHORT-SHEETING
MY CELL?
YOU MUS
SINGLE-HANDEDLY BATTLE
THE DESERT RAT HORDE.
[SHOUTING]
YOU ARE NOW READY
TO PROVE YOURSELF
AS A PROUD LEGIONNAIRE.
SURE YOU CAN'T SPARE
50 OR 60 LEGIONNAIRES?
LOOK AT THOSE RATS.
THEY'RE AS BIG AS SPIKE--
AND JUST AS DUMB.
SO WHAT AM I
WORRIED ABOUT?
[SHOUTING]
OLE!
AT THIS RATE,
IT'S GOING TO TAKE ALL DAY.
[SHOUTING]
HUH?HUH?HUH?
[CRASH]
HE WAS A BRAVE
LEGIONNAIRE KITTY CAT--
BAD POTATO MASHER,
TERRIBLE GARDENER--
BUT A BRAVE LEGIONNAIRE.
AND NOW,
INTO THE NIGHT--
OR DAY
OR WHATEVER.
[GASPS]
ALORS,HE IS GONE.
BUT HIS LEGEND WILL LIVE ON!
WELCOME, LOWLY RECRUITS.
LET ME TELL YOU A TALE
OF A NOW-LEGENDARY
LEGIONNAIRE NAMED
HEATHCLIFF.
[CLANGING]
THERE'S NO PLACE
LIKE HOME.
[SNORES]
OH, LEROY?
YOU CAN
WAKE UP NOW.
WE'RE
ALL INSIDE.
[YAWNS]
WHAT THE--
[GRUNTING]
[GROWLS]
AUGH!
OLE!
OLE!OLE!
OOF!
Cats: OLE!
OLE!
OLE!
OLE!
[PANTING]
BOO!
YIKE!
Cats: OLE!
[CHEERING]
RIFF RAFF! RIFF RAFF!
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
OOHH
WHERE'D THE TREE
COME FROM?
LEROY!
YEEEOW!
OHH!
THAT'S IT!
YOU'RE A DISGRACE!
AN EMBARRASSMEN
TO THE FORCE!
YOU--YOU'RE FIRED!
OOH!
YOU HEAR THAT?
LEROY'S BEEN CANNED.
LEROY'S FIRED?
HAPPY DAY!
NOW HE WON'
BE IN OUR WAY!
Cats: LEROY'S GONE
FAR AWAY ♪
DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH
LEROY'S GONE
AND WE CAN PLAY ♪
ALL DOO-DAH DAY
I JUST HOPE
LEROY'S ALL RIGHT.
LISTEN, BUDDY--
YOU CAN'T PAY
FOR THE BONE,
YOU WASH DISHES.
[SIGHS]
WHEW. SURE GLAD
THAT'S OVER.
HUH?
NEXT.
I STILL THINK
YOU'RE GOING TO REGRE
LEROY'S GETTING FIRED.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THE JUNKYARD'S
ALL OURS NOW.
WHERE DO YOUSE THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
DUH, INSIDE.
NOT WHILE BRUTUS
IS ON DUTY.
YIKES!
OOH!
OOW!
OOF!
I SAID YOU'D
BE SORRY.
YEAH? WELL,
THE CATILLAC CATS WILL
SHOW THAT WALKING MUSCLE
WHO BELONGS
IN THE JUNKYARD.
COME ON!
IT'S OK, MUNGO.
GET STARTED.
WHA--?
HE'S SELLING
ALL OUR THINGS.
YEAH. AND WE BETTER
COME UP WITH A WAY
TO STOP THE BONE-BRAIN--
FAST.
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
HUH?
HI, THERE,
CUTIE.
I SAY, LARGE DOG,
WE WISH TO PURCHASE
A CADILLAC.
WOULD YOU HAVE
SUCH A CAR
IN THE JUNKYARD?
DUH--DUH--DUH
YOUSE FOLLOW ME--
ESPECIALLY YOUSE.
OUCH!
LISTEN, YOUSE DOGS
WANT THIS CAR,
I'LL MAKE YOUSE
AN OFFER YOUSE
CAN'T REFUSE--
ESPECIALLY YOUSE.
Mungo: I DIDN'
KNOW A GUARD
[FALSETTO]
COULD SELL STUFF
FROM A JUNKYARD.
HA HA HA! THERE'S NOBODY
AROUND HERE TO SNITCH,
NOW THAT THOSE PESKY,
UPPITY CATS IS GONE.
HUH HUH HUH
[ENGINE REVS]
WHA--?
[TIRES SCREECH]
[SCREECH]
Riff Raff:
WORDSWORTH?
Cats:
WORDSWORTH! HURRY!
GOTCHA,
YOUSE CUTIE, YOUSE.
WE'LL BE BACK,
WORDSWORTH.
HEY, THEM DOGS
IS STEALING THE CADILLAC!
OH! OH! OH!
HUH?
YOUSE AIN'T A GIRL!
YOUSE IS A BOY!
A CATBOY!
OK. I'LL JUS
KEEP YOUSE HERE.
THAT'LL MAKE THEM
BRING THE CAR BACK.
HEE HEE HEE.
MAYBE WE COULD REPOR
BRUTUS TO THE SUPERVISOR
FOR SELLING STUFF
AGAINST THE RULES.
YEAH. BREAKING
RULES IS BAD.
HE'D NEVER
BELIEVE US--
WE'RE CATS. NAH,
THE ONLY WAY
OUT OF THIS MESS
IS TO FIND LEROY
AND GET HIM
TO HELP.
[RINGS]
[KIDS SHOUTING]
YUM!
[SLURP]
WAAAH!
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
CUDDLE FUR?
MOM, THAT MEAN DOG
TOOK MY ICE CREAM!
YOU--YOU
ICE CREAM THIEF!
Hector: IT'S NO USE--
WE'RE NEVER GONNA FIND LEROY.
YEOW!
WHOA!WHOA!WHOA!
Riff Raff: GET OFF ME,
YOU STUPID HOUND!
Cats: YIII!
[YELLING]
[TIRES SCREECH]
YII!
STOP IT NOW!
Hector:
WE'RE GONNA HIT!
[CHOMPING]
I GOT IT.
MAYBE WE CAN
USE THIS STUFF
TO CONVINCE
THE SUPERVISOR
BRUTUS IS
A LOUSY GUARD.
YOU WANT YOUR
JOB BACK, RIGHT?
MM-HMM.
GOOD. THEN HERE'S
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO
[WHISPERING]
MIGHT AS WELL
RELAX.
YOUSE IS GONNA
STAY RIGHT THERE
UNTIL YOUSE BUDDIES
BRING THAT CADILLAC
BACK.
HEH HEH HEH.
THEN I MIGH
ARRANGE IT SO'S
THEY JOIN YOUSE.
5, 6, 7, 8--HUH?
OH, BOY!
IT'S THE CADILLAC!
Mungo: DUH,
HIYA, WORDSWORTH.
A BUSH THAT TALKS,
AND EVEN WALKS?
IT'S ME--MUNGO.
THANKS, MR. BUSH.
STOP!
HEH HEH HEH.
HEY, UGLY!
OVER HERE!
WHY, YOU LITTLE--
HERE YOU GO.
THIS--THIS--WAIT!
[CRASH]
WELL, HURRY UP.
I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY.
I'M GONNA NAIL
YOUSE LOUSY CATS!
[GROWLING]
WHERE YOU HEADED
SO FAST, BIG BOY?
I GOTTA NAIL
THOSE PESKY CATS.
OH. YOU MEAN
LIKE THIS?
A CUTIE YOU MAY BE,
BUT YOU'RE NO
THE TYPE FOR ME.
[KISS]
YUCK!
KISSED BY A CAT!
PTOOEY!
I SAY, YOUSE MONGREL.
LIKE TO BUY A NICE PLANE?
I'LL MAKE YOU AN OFFER
YOUSE CAN'T REFUSE.
THAT'S IT!
I'M GONNA TURN YOU CATS
INTO PIECES OF JUNK!
[CHOMP CHOMP]
[GROWLS]
HUH?
AAAAAAHHHH!
YEEEOOOOOOWWW!
YEOW!
HUH?
OH!
Riff Raff: NOW, THAT'S
WHAT I CALL PLAYING--
CATILLAC CAT STYLE.
BUT WE'D BETTER
CLEAN UP OUR TOYS.
AUUUUGGGGHH!
WELL, CATS,
NOW THAT WE'VE
CLEANED UP OUR TOYS,
LET'S
GO ENJOY A COOL
GLASS OF MILK.
HEY, HEY, HEY,
YOU--
YEAH, YOU. LISTEN.
GET ME OUT OF HERE,
AND I'LL--I'LL--
I'LL SELL YOU ANYTHING
IN THE JUNKYARD
FOR HALF-PRICE.
YOU WILL? GEE.
I DIDN'T KNOW GUARDS
COULD SELL STUFF
THEY WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE GUARDING.
YEAH. YOU JUST GO
TO BE SMART, SEE?
THE SUPERVISOR GUARD
IS SO DUMB,
HE WOULDN'T KNOW
IF SOMEBODY SOLD
THE HAT OFF HIS HEAD.
HE MUST BE
REALDUMB.
HEH HEH HEH.
THE SUPERVISOR'S
SO DUMB,
HE SHOULD BE NAMED
DUMBO.
UH-OH.
OUT!
YOU MAY BE
A LOUSY GUARD,
LEROY,
BU
YOU'RE HONEST.
YOU CAN HAVE
YOUR JOB BACK.
YAHOO!
[WHISTLES]
GLAD TO HAVE
YOU BACK, LEROY,
NOW THA
EVERYTHING'S
NORMAL AGAIN.
[GROWLING]
Leroy: WAIT, YOU!
OOF!
YUP. EVERYTHING'S
BACK TO NORMAL.
HEY, JIM, MARY! WAIT TIL YOU SEE
MY NEW DOG!
WAAAAH!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE'S
AFRAID.
IF YOU'VE GOT VERY YOUNG
FRIENDS, INTRODUCE THEM
TO YOUR DOG BY KEEPING THE DOG
ON A LEASH IN THE BEGINNING
SO THEY KNOW YOU'VE GOT HIM
UNDER CONTROL.
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