Kickin' It (2011) s02e16 Episode Script

Kickin' it with you.
Ah, here it is Mika.
This is the place where I got my black belt and beat down Jack.
Oh, hey Jack.
- Uh, we should probably go, Mika.
- No no no no.
Why don't you show her how you beat me down? Uh, see, I the thing is I don't I don't really remember.
Oh, I do.
First, he got me in an arm lock.
Like this.
Then he gave you a front snap kick.
Oh! - And then he flipped you.
- Wait, what? No! Wow, you're very excellent fighter, Jerry.
Hey, Bobby's on his way over here.
- Oh! - Ooh! What is this Bobby? Oh, he's the rich guy who owns the dojo.
Whenever he visits, he makes the most insane over-the-top entrances.
Okay, not one of his best.
Bobby? What's the matter? I'm lonely! But why are you lonely? Do you not have a girlfriend? Excuse me! I am Bobby Wasabi.
And no, I have no girlfriend.
Wait, well, that's it.
That's what you need.
I'm gonna help you find a girlfriend.
- You will? - Trust me, Bobby.
I got your back.
Because if there's one thing I know It's how to deal with the crushing blow of loneliness.
It is Tuesday.
Come to Falafel Phil's.
It is singles' night.
Oh Falafel.
Forget falafel! We are gonna find you a lady.
And how hard could it be? You're smart, an ex-movie star and really really Handsome.
I was gonna say rich.
Rich and handsome it is! - Don't - Don't - You - You Get all tough with me! I'm saying - Won't - Won't - You - You Come kick it with me? And we could have a ball, run up the wall! That's just how we do.
And no matter how much I chop and punch it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.
Here we go, let's start the party! Chop it up like it's karate.
Everybody! - Don't - Don't - You - You Get all tough with me! I'm saying - Won't - Won't - You - You Come kick it with me? And we could have a ball, run up the wall! That's just how we do.
And no matter how much I chop and punch it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.
This is your night.
And I'm your wing man.
And I will never leave your side until we find you a woman.
I, uh, noticed you when you came in.
You wanna get out of here and grab some fro-yo? Good night and good luck.
Jerry, I don't know how to do this.
Oh, come on.
You just gotta be smooth.
Uh yo, check it.
What it do, girl? You see that? - Ah.
- All right, your turn.
Yo, try that girl in the purple dress.
Go! Yo, check it.
What it do, girl? Um, what does what do? Quick question What exactly is "it" and what is it that "it" do? Guys, great news! This woman Leona came into the dojo and she's a huge martial arts fan.
She insisted on meeting you right away, Bobby.
Really?! You're gonna love her.
She even has her own ninjas.
Oh! Hello, Bobby.
I'm Leona.
What it do, Leona? You're what it do, Bobby.
You hear that?! Apparently I am what it do.
Ha! You lock the wrist What is that noise? It's a giant flock of doves lowering Bobby into the courtyard.
That sounds about right.
Lower, my doves! Lower.
There like a thousand doves up there.
Oh, actually, it's 1500.
I haven't been a thousand doves since high school.
I take it the date went well.
Oh you might say that.
In two days, I am Getting married! - What?! - No way.
Bobby, this is crazy.
You can't just jump into something like this.
Absolutely not.
There are a lot of decisions to make the music, the invitations.
The flowers, the food.
Where to sit that crazy aunt that smells like ham.
Excuse me, I do not have an aunt that smells like ham.
Yeah, you do.
Well, Milton, Mika you will plan my wedding.
And I can sing.
Hey, I've done a lot of Bah bah bah bah bah bah.
Not gonna happen, Eddie.
- We're hiring a professional.
- Come on, Milton.
Who do you really Don't make me "bah bah bah" you again.
Bobby, you can't just marry the first woman who gives you any attention.
I mean, I haven't even met her.
Oh well, that's a shame because I was going to ask if you'd be my best man.
I accept! - We're getting married! - Yay! Come on, people! Let's move it! The wedding is in three hours.
You sweep under those tables.
You fix those napkins.
And you I told you I didn't want you in here.
You have one of those "Stay in the kitchen" kind of faces.
Now let's go! What happened to the shrimp puffs? I put whole tray out here.
Wait, do you mean the bay shrimp wrapped in a phyllo dough crust, tied together with baby asparagus spears? - Yes.
- Haven't seen 'em.
"Bobby, I may be the best man, but you're the best" "Man".
Wait for applause, wink at a cute bridesmaid.
Oh beautiful lady legs.
I wonder if they're attached to a Oh, they are! Hello, beautiful lady.
You got a little shrimp puff right here.
Oh! Thanks for un-puffing me.
My pleasure.
You know, I gotta tell you You have got the most amazing eyes.
Thank you.
I think they are spectacular.
They are? You know, I have my mom's eyes.
Not like in a box or a drawer or anything.
They're just the same color.
Anywho I think that your eyes are also rather Spectacular.
Aw, man, where'd she go? Beautiful lady! Eddie, we have hired a professional singer.
Give rest to it already.
But when I sing in the shower, my mom says I have the voice of an Angel.
Well, when I plan a wedding in a shower, you can sing.
Excuse me, Mika.
What are you doing? Oh, making sure the table is strong enough for the goat to dance on.
No no no.
There are no goats dancing in American weddings, hon.
You speak Hachmaki? Not a word.
I have got to find that woman.
She is the one! There is nothing on this green earth that will keep me from making her mine.
Oh, Rudy.
There you are.
I want you to meet my bride-to-be.
The love of my life Leona.
No-ooo! No-ooo! Www-way! I am so happy for you.
Till death? Wow! That's forever! And ever! And ever.
And ever Kickin' it with you! Let's put these chairs over here.
Hey, look at all this cool stuff from Bobby's movies.
Hey, what movie did Bobby wear a wedding dress in? Those aren't his.
They must be Leona's.
Whoa! Dude, check this out! This is the glove Bobby wore in his movie "A Fistful of Glove".
What?! When he put this on, his whole hand became weaponized.
This button shot out numbing darts.
I know this is just a prop, but wouldn't it be awesome if this thing really worked? I think it does work, Jack.
What are you talking about? I can't feel my legs.
Dude, hey! - Dude, are you okay? - Oh yeah.
I'm good.
Jerry! Once Bobby Wasabi and I are married, I'll eliminate him and all his money will be mine.
Not so fast! Come on.
You want to help? Don't move or I'll let you have Ow! My bad.
I just got stuck with something! It's a numbing dart.
Yeah.
Yeah, I got hit too.
We heard about your evil plan.
Forget about that for a second.
How long will my mouth be like this?! I'm getting married today! Oh no.
I'm hoping it's not too long.
Just about an hour or so.
Get them! I said get them! Hey, Jerry! You're not marrying Bobby because you love him.
You're marrying him to get to his money.
Which I love.
Some girls scrapbook.
Others marry then eliminate martial-arts millionaires.
Don't get me wrong, I scrapbook too.
Once Bobby puts this ring on, the black-widow venom will soak into his skin and tonight, he will go to the big dojo in the sky.
Oh wait You're the black-belt widow.
I've seen you on that show, "America's Worst People".
What makes you think Bobby would wear such a tacky piece Can I see that for a second? Oh, he's a goner.
Wait a minute.
Why would you tell us all the details of your evil plan? Because it doesn't matter.
Once I take care of Bobby My ninjas will take care of you.
Was that your evil laugh? I know.
It's not good, is it? Well, no.
A good evil laugh starts from your diaphragm.
Try this.
Ah! That's better.
- Thank you.
- You see? - Jerry! - What? Just trying to help her.
It's the woman's wedding day.
I'm telling you, little shrimp puff, there was a spark between me and her.
It was undeniable.
But now I've lost everything.
You're all I have left.
Oh no! Now I'm all alone! Are you still crying to the shrimp puffs about the woman you lost? Yes.
If you're so brokenhearted about this woman, why don't you just find her and tell her how you feel? Because my fair maiden is betrothed to another.
She can pick whoever she wants.
But you'll never forgive yourself if you don't tell her what's in your heart.
You know what, Eddie? You're right.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna find her and tell her how I feel.
Go on.
Where in the heck is the wedding singer? I fired him and hired Eddie.
- What?! - He broke me down.
Well, there goes my wedding planning career.
Might as well smash the ice sculptures, throw the plates against the wall! And let a pack of wild hyenas chase the crowd into the pool.
Now, that's a wedding.
Yo, Jack.
Jack, I'm tied up, so you have to go warn Bobby.
I'm tied to you, you lug nut.
I've got it! We'll do what Bobby did when he was tied to Tommy Tsunami in his movie "Samurai Fist Party".
Oh I didn't see that movie.
Just stand up.
Look what I did! Hey, next time try and help out a little, Jack.
Come here! Yo, we took out that guy, but Leona's ninjas are everywhere.
How are we gonna get to Bobby? There might be one way.
Would you be willing to wear this dress? I don't know.
Think I've got the goods to pull it off? Kickin' it with you! Here you go, dear.
Enjoy the wedding.
That was Bobby's hammy aunt.
Gah! This wedding is a disaster.
Jack and Jerry are missing, the toilet's clogged up with a shoe and Eddie's about to start singing.
On the bright side, that should clear out the place pretty quick.
Before Bobby met Leona.
Before Bobby met Leona.
There was pit deep inside his Wasabi soul.
That he kept trying to fill With ninjas and costly toys.
With ninjas and costly toys.
But then Leona came along.
But then Leona came along.
Oh, hold on, I'm getting a note.
If you're driving a gray station wagon.
Your lights are on.
Milton.
When my mother gets here, don't let her near the cheese platter.
She has a gastro situation and I do not want to hear "You may now kiss the" Oh no, she's early.
Bride walking, bride walking! The minister isn't even here yet.
Oh look at her.
Every bit the lady.
Uh We are gathered here today to join Bobby and Leona in marriage.
If anyone sees any reason why these two should not be wed.
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Objection, your honor! I am in love with the woman that Bobby Wasabi is about to marry! Rudy! What is the meaning of this? I'm sorry, Bobby.
Leona, from the moment that I met you my heart has been beating like a bongo.
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.
Hairy knuckles and all.
Leona Will you marry me? Okay.
Now that we know where everyone stands, I will resume my duties as best man.
Carry on.
Leona, my love, I declare today, in front of all these people My eternal love.
We shall forever be one, as I seal my vow with a kiss.
She's all yours, Rudy.
No way, Wasabi.
Bobby, Leona's the black-belt widow.
She wants to marry you so she can get rid of you and steal all your money.
What? Bobby, it's not true! Don't listen to them.
Leona.
What is Jerry talking about? Bobby, I love you with all my heart.
- Now quick, put this ring on.
- Oh.
What did you do, you fool?! It's called saving my friend's life.
Jack! You have ruined everything! Get him! Eddie! Sing something.
Maybe people won't notice.
Hit it! Everybody was ninja ninja ninja ninja fighting.
This getting so exciting Milton, the cake! Take this one, Rudy! - This one, Rudy! - Really? - Another one for you, Rudy! - Seriously? - You tried to take my bride.
- That's a good point.
To start her evil plan was to off a rich kung-fu man Hey, Jack be ninja! 3:00.
How much did that move rock? Everybody was ninja ninja ninja ninja fighting Ooh, that sounded expensive.
Oh! I don't think so, honey.
Thank you! Oh, Leona.
The dreams I had for us The places we were going to go.
The things we were going to do.
Why? Why would you do this to me? Because I'm a very very bad girl.
Oh, Leona marry me! - No you don't.
Hey hey.
- Walk it off, big guy.
Boys, can I have a minute? Just so I know it wasn't all in my head, that moment we shared It was real, wasn't it? I'm sorry, have we met? Get her out of here, boys! Kickin' it with you! Well, I am embarrassed.
I was so afraid of being alone, I was ready to marry the first homicidal maniac that looked my way.
I knew she was trouble from the moment I saw her.
Bobby, you don't ever have to worry about being alone.
Man, you'll always have us.
You're right.
I may have lost a wife today, but I have a family.
And that is reason to celebrate.
Eddie, hit it! Everybody was ninja ninja ninja ninja fighting.
This is getting so exciting