Reno 911! (2003) s02e16 Episode Script

This is maria storm reporting From the reno sheriff's department, Where an unfolding scandal has rocked this city to its core.
Earlier this week, a tourist couple from sparks Took the following homemade video footage.
( honking truck horn ) Footage that sparked the d.
A.
's investigation, As well as allegations of misconduct And gross incompetence.
Somebody's got to take out the trash, And I promise the citizens of reno That that person is gonna be me, mike powers.
Thank you.
( wiegel ) I'll tell you one thing.
Yeah ? Jones and garcia, they killed that guy.
Whoo ! Come here ! ( tires screeching ) Oh Ah ! Whoa ! ( growling ) ( sirens blaring ) ( siren wailing ) Lieutenant dangle, you are, for all intents and purposes, The head of the department.
Is that correct ? Yes, sir, I answer to sheriff chechekevitch.
Are you aware of all the activities That take place within the department ? Yes, sir, I am.
Does anything escape your attention ? No, sir, it does not.
Are you aware that your balls are hanging out right now ? I'm sorry.
No, not at all.
I'll sit like this.
What the hell is that ? Is that bottle rockets or something ? Okay, let's go, let's go, let's go.
How's it going, bait ? If it ain't power man and iron fist.
You showed up for the end.
Whoa, whoa, whoa ! Stop, stop ! Hey, hey, whoa ! Yah ! That's right.
Don't get close, 'cause I'll set it off.
Are those m-80s ? What is that ? M-80s, black rockets, a few other things.
Yeah, there's enough here to take us all down In a beautiful, sexy nightmare.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo Bait, no ! Yeah, one side.
Mixin' it up.
You do this, the terrorists win, okay ? You are an american, bait.
I'm an american dream.
You are an american dream.
You don't want to kill that dream.
If you do this, they win.
All right.
( jones ) all right, that's good.
That was duds, anyways.
Click it all I want, it ain't gonna go.
Holy hell.
Oh, my god ! Go, go, go ! ( screaming ) Hey, lie down ! Ooh, lord ! It's actually quite beautiful.
Do they have-- does the d.
A.
Have access To our telephone calls and e-mails And things like that ? I don't know, but I-- Specifically, e-mails is kinda what I'm wondering about.
Why ? I'm pretty sure I've deleted all my e-mail, But I'm not positive.
And there's a couple that I sent as a goof, Y'know, a couple goof e-mails I sent out.
I never get any of your e-mails.
I better check my service.
It might not be working right.
They're mostly goofs, and they're mostly to jones, But I I don't think they'll check the e-mails, will they ? Racial prejudice.
I'm sorry ? Dereliction of duty, sexual indiscretion.
A lot of charges leveled against this department.
Against this department, or against specific people ? Well, specifically, you, lieutenant-- Sexual indiscretion.
I'm sorry ? Sexual indiscretion, I talked to officer jones, and he said that, quite often, Around the department, he has the feeling That you are eye-raping him.
What ? Sir, what is an eye-rape ? Uh What ? Do that again.
Do that-- what did you just do ? That ? I think it's a little more like this.
Sir, well, yes, that would be an eye-rape.
Did you see what I just did ? Yes, I did see what you did.
Look again.
Did you ever do that to officer jones ? No, never.
You did not ? Not once, never.
You're telling me that you never went To officer jones ? No, no ! Never ! No ? How would you characterize officer jones As a police officer ? He's a hardworking-- He's a big, hardworking, robust, Sort of mocha-ish person.
Did you say that you wanted to Grease his chassis at some point ? No, sir, I would never say that.
You did not say that ? No, sir.
How would you characterize officer garcia ? Oh, he's a furious little person.
Yeah, you ever eye-rape him ? No, sir.
Would you be willing to sign a deposition regarding Who, which one ? Pick one, sure.
Garcia.
Absolutely.
Jones ? Yeah, oh, yeah.
Great, thank you, lieutenant.
Who else ? Got a 9-1-1 call.
Sheriff's department ! What happened, honey ? My boyfriend, kiki, stole my hair ! He did what ? He stole my hair ! He took off running with it ! The hair off your head ? Yes, he took-- no, no ! I was gonna put it in my hair, it was in this bag-- My extensions ! He took it, he said he's gonna burn it.
What does kiki look like ? He's about this tall, officer, And he's got a light-blue do-rag That comes down like this.
Do-rag like tupac-style, or ? No, it's like a cap, And it hangs down in the back.
Yes, yes, exactly ! Why were you and kiki in an altercation over the hair ? Because he gets jealous, a'ight ? So, I went and got some hair, And then all the white men Started tipping me better, okay ? And the black men ignore me.
And I'm paying my bills.
And kiki's like, "you just trying to get yourself a white man.
Stay with your own kind.
" And he puerto rican ! That don't even make any sense ! And I'm gonna get poor, bald-headed tips.
Okay, honey, hold on, hold on.
Sweetie, how about this, huh ? Oh, my god.
Okay, this is malaysian, top-of-the-line, micro-wefted.
This is very sweet, but I want my hair ! Okay, now, can you work with this ? I can try, but I don't know how to do it.
Y'know, I mean, his sister was gonna do it for me, And now she probably hate me.
He probably went to her house to burn it.
Can you make me look like ashanti, please ? Come on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Oh, my god.
No ! Honey, I'm sorry ! I'm gonna kill him ! Honey I'm gonna kill him ! State your name, please.
Deputy clementine johnson.
Deputy johnson, I have several witnesses Who've testified to the fact that you Have taken evidence from the evidence room.
Specifically, marijuana.
That you have been seen smoking marijuana Outside the police station, And, also, several counts of you Involved in various sexual indiscretions, Mostly in your police cruiser.
But that's not why we're here today.
I don't care about that.
I want to know about jones, And I want to know about garcia.
Well, I've been sexually harassed Many, many times by officer jones.
Every time I bend over to tie my shoe Or pick something up from the floor, He comes up behind me and gooses me.
Jones ? Mm-hmm.
Also, he's called me a honky.
Does he call you a honky while he's goosing you ? Sometimes.
Are you mad at me ? Yes, we are mad at you.
You're under arrest again.
My neck is hurt.
My leg hurts, my leg hurts, my leg hurts, my leg hurts.
Set him down, just set him down, set him down.
Sit, sit, sit ! I can't see, I can't see.
Oh ! Yes, you can.
I can see again.
I need something to drink.
I'm gonna throw up out of my mouth.
We'll get the medic to look at you.
Don't throw up there, do you understand me ? Can I get some diet sprite, please ? No ! Are you guys mad ? Don't be mad.
I think I'm gonna throw up.
Don't you throw up.
I'm gonna throw up, I think.
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna throw up.
I'm gonna throw up.
Uh-oh, spaghettios.
( gasps ) Ooh, let's roll.
( whirring propellers in the distance ) Oh, shit, he took the chopper keys.
No ! Terry ! Put that chopper down, terry ! Terry, terry, terry ! ( terry ) whoo-hoo ! Terry ! Okay, children, let's welcome officer It's officer "jam maestro" garcia And "dance master" jones.
Oh, ho, ho, what ?! Hey, hey, hey.
One, two-- one, two, three, four.
( playing break dance music ) Whoa Over here.
And, oh, we bring it back.
There's a wind.
What ? Look at that.
Oh ! Um, so Is that it ? What do you mean, "is that it ?" Oh, you can do better ? Oh, you got it, huh ? I'll leave it at the hands of professionals.
No, go ahead.
( applauding ) You would have done better If I would of hold the cardboard.
It started spinnin' with you.
I know you were actually in the way a little bit.
Oh, okay.
I mean, I'm glad that you were there, But I probably could have done a little bit better without Well, next time, you can just do it yourself.
Deja vu.
Yeah, this woman calls All the time.
Five times a week, six times a week.
Always something, always something.
Sheriff's department, mrs.
Leonard.
Sheriff's department, mrs.
Leonard.
Hello.
( barking dog ) Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Get out, get out, get out ! Got here as fast as we could.
Well, thank you, because I can't listen to that Squeaking and squackling much longer.
The kids-- it's constant.
Bouncing the balls, Y'know, talking about their homework, playing marbles.
It's annoying, and it's always at the same time.
It's from 2:00 to 3:00.
Naptime is for me-- that is my time.
I don't want to hear it.
What's his name, what's he look like ? His name is joey.
He's this fat little boy.
Yeah, I'll see if I can find him, ma'am.
Yes, get him ! Get him ! This ends now.
Thank you, thank you.
I'm so glad you called.
Me too.
It's good that we rushed over.
Hey, fatty, your name joe ? That kid ain't gonna be playing any more marbles.
Any of the other kids come back, You give us a call, all right ? ( sobbing ) What did you shoot at ? A radiator.
Oh.
Did you break it ? Probably.
Yeah.
Okay ( clears throat ) 'my day at traffic school' "today, I went to traffic school, And it was very soupy.
" ( chuckles ) Your potato head like my Okay, "the instructor, mr.
Potato head, "taught us how to scratch And urinate our turtles through traffic.
" ( laughing ) Oh, my god, you guys.
Good work.
You guys really know your nouns.
Okay, we just have another two hours to go, So when you finish your drawings, Bring 'em up, and we'll see who gets-- I brought gold stars.
So we'll do gold stars And check-pluses and check-minuses.
As district attorney of reno, I've been fighting To clean up the sheriff's department, And now I want to go to carson city To help clean up nevada's finances.
Hi, I'm mike powers, And I approve of this ad to support me For state comptroller.
And I need you to help me take "comptrol" of nevada.
This d.
A.
, he's gonna come down hard on us, okay ? Oh, yeah.
He's gonna try to crack us.
He's gonna try to break us down.
Yep.
You and me.
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
We got it.
You and me, together.
And if it comes down to it, I'll sell everybody else out except for you, okay ? I will, too.
You have my word to the grave.
Word is bond ? Word is bond.
( powers ) officer jones, you have been partners With officer garcia for how long ? It's going on about seven years now.
Seven years now.
And you've been with garcia the entire time ? Yep.
How would you characterize your working relationship ? Great, smooth, A father/son-figure type of relationship.
Like he's your daddy ? Like a, a father.
A father.
Yeah.
You, yourself, been a target of a derogatory term ? Oh, yes, sir.
People have called me "stupid mexican.
" Are you, indeed, mexican ? Yes, sir, I am.
James oswaldo garcia.
Okay.
Are you familiar with this picture ? That's andy freeman.
That's andy freeman ? He was a milk-shake character To advertise discount milk-shake prices, I guess, at a restaurant.
This guy asked us to do this, okay ? He asked us to beat him.
Officer jones has already made a statement against you.
That's a Who did it ? Who started it, you or jones ? Officer garcia says that you took off after him Like a bat out of hell, you ran him down, And then you forced him-- garcia-- To attack this man.
Garcia said that ? That's right.
Jones is a bigger man than I am.
Yes, he is.
He's about that size-- a big, colored fellow.
You're a small guy, right ? Okay, I admit it, I'm afraid of him.
I didn't mean anything.
That's not true.
That's not true.
That's a total fabrication.
He threatened me.
He threatened to get me in a headlock.
How did he get into you ? He was gonna get me in a headlock.
He was gonna choke the white out of me, he said.
"he choked the white out of you," he said that ? I said, "I'm mexican, I'm mexican.
" At which point I couldn't see him.
I didn't make any difference to him, did it ? No, it did not.
No, it didn't happen that way.
Somebody pushed the milk-shake man.
Somebody pushed-- somebody pushed him.
Garcia pushed him.
Garcia pushed him ? Garcia, that fuckin' beaner, pushed him, man.
I was afraid for my own life.
Why ? 'cause he's a large colored man.
He's a large colored man, that's right ! I didn't do anything, I didn't do anything ! First, o.
J.
, then kobe, now jonesy.
I didn't do anything.
( dangle on bullhorn ) terry, you are making a huge mistake.
Land it now ! This officially marks the end of your good behavior, buddy.
Aah, aah ! Terry, now this is assault too.
( powers ) it's been a very long day.
I'm gonna wrap this up as soon as possible.
Now, y'know, I think the truth Is often a very difficult and painful thing to confront, And you should all be commended For your honesty and your candor During these proceedings.
I want to thank you for that.
And you're all fired, So if you could turn in your guns and badges To the bailiff here.
And don't leave town, 'cause you're all under indictment.
Upon giving me your guns and badges.
Why don't you guys exit to my right, your left.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Thank you.
See you in court.
Pepper spray ? Thank you.
Thank you.
See you in court.
Now that I have been fired Off the reno sheriff's department, I'm kind of excited.
I'm gonna finish my album.
I'm probably gonna attend some symposiums.
I've always wanted to have extra spare time To go shopping for antiquities and so forth, So I'm actually really looking forward to it.
And if I do end up getting sent to jail, Then, um I'll probably, Just, y'know, kill myself or something.
But, you know, so far, so good.
There are various telemarketing jobs That I know that I have done before That I can fall back on.
And I'm looking into getting-- Maybe coaching little league.
Probably go back to maitre d'ing, maybe ? ( man ) all righty.
I think-- are we all-- one, two, three, four Yes, all right, all righty.
Well, we're ready to start.
Okay, good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
My name is jim kringle.
As you know, we have all been transferred here To try to salvage something Out of the reno sheriff's department.
But why don't we just all introduce ourselves To each other, so we all get to know each other ? ( clears throat ) Cooper, comma, barbara.
It's not "babs," not "barbie," it's barbara.
Wendy.
Cletus senior.
Officer garcia is my name.
C.
Garwood.
The "c" stands for culufu, From the rwandan name "king of all that he sees and stopping that which is injustice.
" Do I have to learn all of that ? I've been on various forces, I've been on-- excuse me.
I'm the wesley snipes of law enforcement.
Okay, and is it verlet ? Verlot.
All right, well, folks, we'll pick partners later, And let's just remember why we're here, And that is to not only make ourselves look good, But make those last guys look bad.
Sir, can you step out of the bushes, please ? Sir, yes, bring your white ass down here, please.
That's how it's done in reno.
Oh, that was easy.
Yeah.
Whoo ! What sounds good to you ? You.
Ooh, baby, mmm ! Y'know, you'd think it would itch more On a day with this kind of weather, but it doesn't.
Yeah, but I use cream.
You do ? That's a good idea.
Oh, lookee, lookee, lookee, lookee lookee what we got here.
Hello, ladies ! ( laughing ) You know what ? That orange, that's a lovely shade of bitch.
What's up, mandingo ? Hey, you know, dog shit counts as litter, too, So don't be afraid of that stuff.
What you smiling at, cinque ? Me want free ! Me want free ! Before we get out there, Us being a new team and all, I would like to invite everyone here To a meeting that I have every Wednesday, A meeting of the black police force Against those who which would like to put us down, The b-p-r-t-a-a-p-d.
Love it.
See you all later.
Okay, welcome aboard.
All right, I got to go pee.
How about you ? All right.
Let's do it.
We're gonna put this whole thing down.
Oh, yeah, we got it.
Okay, you bet.
God bless you.