Resident Alien (2021) s02e16 Episode Script
I Believe in Aliens
Previously on "Resident Alien"
Real Harry killed Sam.
He was a bad man.
I'm producing a documentary
where experiencers share their stories.
Would you be interested
in participating?
Oh, I couldn't.
There's a secret base in Wyoming.
If they took your alien baby,
that's where it would be.
No!
Please, save my son.
All right, here we go.
Let's roll, please.
I'm Mike Richardson,
and I'm CEO of Dark Horse Media.
I grew up in Milwaukie, Oregon,
which is a suburb of Portland.
Every neighborhood in
those days had a small,
little neighborhood grocery store,
and my mom used to send me
down for nonessential things,
like bread and milk,
things that you just
picked up on the fly.
My friend Duke lived
about two houses up Edison,
on the opposite side of the street.
I hopped on my bike. Duke joined me.
And we rode down to the store,
which was located on 30th.
On the way back, at the bottom of 34th,
we looked up in the sky,
and there's this big disc there,
about the size of my fist,
up in the sky.
And it was perfectly round, silent.
The outside was spinning.
The center was stationary.
It was probably up in the
air about 60 to 100 feet.
And we just got off our
bikes and stood there
and watched it for a while.
You know, I tend to be a skeptic.
I need to find a logical
reason for these things.
But this is something
I can't really explain.
I don't I have no idea
what it what it was.
I can only say what it is,
and it seems to be consistent
with our conception of
what a flying saucer is.
What'd that thing ever do to you?
It's probably got a family,
little baby sliders running around,
looking for their daddy.
Stop!
You're gonna make me choke.
Mm, I need to see Harry soon.
He just got back from a, um
Medical convention.
So did you take a look at
that apartment I sent to you?
It's tiny.
Hello, it's got a hot tub.
Yeah, and no bedrooms,
with, like, a pullout
couch and a wooden chair.
- And a floor.
- Okay.
Oh, shit.
God, I thought she wasn't working today.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Sup, Cheese?
So I just found out that
I'm a few credits short
for my science elective.
And I was I was wondering
if I could maybe have my
old job at the clinic back.
Yeah, sure.
We could use the help.
You could start right away.
Okay. I'll see you later, Cheese.
- See ya.
- See ya.
- Cheese?
- It's a long story.
- Got nothing to do with cheese.
- Hmm.
-
- Mm, just Harry,
eager to tell me about
the medical convention.
Oh, excuse me.
Gosh, he is just really
excited about medicine.
First, you need to know that
our people are not
coming to kill everyone.
Why are they not coming?
Because it's too dangerous.
There is an alien race
that's planning to take over the Earth.
They're here, Harry.
What alien race?
You must be careful.
It's the Greys.
They've learned how
to live on this planet,
and they have mastered hybridization.
There are Grey human
hybrids all over the Earth.
And they're planning on taking over,
and they will succeed.
I was there.
I failed to protect the Earth,
and I watched it die.
And there is only one person
who may have the resources
to stop the Greys,
an Air Force general
named Eleanor McCallister.
But I killed her.
Do not make the same mistake.
She may be Earth's only hope.
Oh.
Also, I'm you from the future.
This is some crazy shit.
Do all alien babies
on your planet do this?
No.
My Moesha is special.
Moesha?
You don't like it?
I'm trying out names.
Brad.
Hey!
Do not drink the toilet water, Jebidiah!
Okay, what did Goliath say?
Hybridized half-Grey, half-human?
The Greys, they are too spindly
to spend too much time
in Earth's atmosphere.
So developing hybrids
to take over the Earth,
that makes sense.
At least tell me you
didn't kill that general.
No, I got the message in time.
I can hear you drinking!
I did not kill her.
Good. At least there's hope.
Um, okay, now we could work with her,
and then you could get
rid of these Grey things.
I will not work with her.
She is my enemy.
You heard Goliath.
He tried to stop the Greys.
He failed. He is me.
So if I try, I will fail.
You are not a failure.
You have to do something.
You can't just let the Grey aliens
take over the Earth.
It is worse than failure.
It is future failure.
It is guaranteed.
Well, I'll never get
that image out of my head.
Okay, you're not gonna help
the general save the world?
Then what? What are you going to do?
I will do what human failures do.
I will ignore my horrible life
by being a parent
and passing my resentments
on to my children.
"Children"?
Can you keep it down? I am sleeping.
I adopted the Alien
Tracker's son, Robert.
Oh, do not slam that door!
You are not sleeping this day away!
I'm signing you up for soccer practice.
Hey.
Hey, I know new
budget's going in soon,
so I came by to see if
there were any updates
on my requests.
Requests, yes. Let's see here, new pens.
Well, that's not it.
Oh, here it is.
Eight additional deputies,
four more patrol cars,
and body cams for
everyone, including Cletus.
Well, of course Cletus,
'cause you know he got a temper on him,
so it he roughs somebody
up, we need to know about it.
- Seems like a lot.
- This is the bare minimum.
Hell, when we get that resort built,
we gonna need a new prison
just for the prostitutes alone.
As a matter of fact, go ahead and put
"hooker jail" on that list for me.
Although, to be honest,
I'm not sure if that's
the proper term anymore.
It's probably "sex worker jail."
You can put that down there
'cause you know hookers,
they love to use that
modern terminology.
And I want to be as respectful as I can
to all them hard-working
hoes out there.
Look, about the resort.
I'm no longer gonna support it.
What?
I think I was just so caught up
in trying to rebrand Patience
away from being a murder town
that I forgot how much I love it.
I don't want it to change.
Look, I don't expect you to understand.
I understand, if we
don't get this resort,
there's gonna be riots, okay?
So now I need 30 officers.
I need nine cars.
- And I need a damn tank.
- Okay.
Well, I can give you
one more deputy and
this Hot Wheels car
Max left in my office.
You got one of them
loop-de-loop things
for it to go on, but you gotta make sure
it goes fast enough or else
it don't get past
the loop-de-loop?
I can bring you one from home.
I'll take it.
I discovered my breastfeeding bra
did not work for feeding the baby.
I kept draining the teats myself.
Ten hamburgers.
Hope the monster baby's hungry.
Hello, Harry.
My name is Joseph.
I do not care. You are a Grey.
I will call you "Dickhead."
We may be enemies,
but I think we can be
professional about this.
I know you are, but what am I?
What?
We've made a deal with your people.
They have conceded the Earth to us.
We get the planet, we let you go home.
There's an escape pod up
on the mountain for you.
It will take you to your planet.
I'll text you the coordinates.
You can be on your way.
I do not like to give
out my phone number.
We already have it.
The Greys have my phone number?
- How did you get it?
- I don't know.
- Probably the phone company.
- That is impossible.
They do not give away that information.
Grey aliens are pretty powerful.
Not powerful enough to
get somebody's phone number
from the phone number
company unless they say,
"Yeah, okay, give them my phone number."
- I think we are.
- I do not like it.
Well, I'm texting you anyway.
Do not do it. Just write it down.
I don't have a pen.
Fine. Text it.
You do not share my number, do you?
'Cause I do not want
all those spam calls.
I don't think we do that.
Okay, good, 'cause
Good.
I still do not think
that the phone company
gave you my phone number.
Okay, fine, I went to your clinic
and pretended I was
one of your patients.
One of your nurses gave me your number.
- Ellen?
- Yeah, that sounds right.
That one? Her? Her?
Yeah, that's her.
God! She's the worst.
She is horrible. She
steals food from my office!
Why don't you just lock your door?
Because then it's complicated.
It's I have to carry a key.
I get that.
You fall on your keys one time,
and you start making different plans.
Well, there you go.
Good luck.
Dickhead says "what?"
- What?
- Chicken butt.
Jackass.
I can go home.
I'm not paying for this food!
There's a fly in my pie!
How does it feel?
So I know you've had many encounters.
I understand you were
able to record one of them?
There was one time that
I did record the encounter.
It was actually just
recently, New Year's Eve.
So this was right over top of the ocean.
The new year had just
kicked off, midnight,
and there were two floating orbs
right over top of the city.
When we zoom in on these,
you can actually see that
they are changing shape.
Anytime you look up to the skies,
there's stuff going on there
if you really look hard enough.
This base has been compromised.
We're moving everything to Farmington 5.
That base hasn't been used in years.
Then we'll have plenty of room.
Yes, ma'am.
There's something else.
They may have had some
help on the inside too.
He went straight for the safe.
Every guard is accounted
for after the breach,
except for that one.
Well, looks like we have our mole.
Find him.
And bring me Peter Bach's hard drive.
I can't.
It's gone.
That information is fully encrypted.
If anyone so much as plugs
in that drive, we'll know it.
And when they do,
I want you to grab everyone
within 200 yards of it.
Yes, ma'am.
Cunningham says he hikes
this canyon every morning.
Hey, been getting some complaints
about a suspicious black van
parked on the sidewalk downtown.
You all right there, Deputy?
It's in that spot that
the SUV went off the road.
Authorities said the
driver lost control,
sending him over the edge.
The driver died in the ensuing fire.
The name of the deceased
has been released,
a man named Peter Bach.
Back to you.
Oh. Oh, no.
Deputy, I'm
I'm sorry. That's terrible.
I knew he was onto something.
He got too close. They killed him.
Wait, wait. Hold on, Deputy.
Now, this is just a car accident.
It was no accident. He was murdered.
Where did you say
that abandoned van was?
I knew it.
This is Peter Bach's van.
The keys are still in it.
Doesn't mean something
shady was going on.
It doesn't make sense.
I checked CCTV from the bank
and saw Peter drive this exact van
out of town last night.
Then he dies in an SUV and
the van ends up back here?
It's very shady.
You know, there's an
old saying about a turtle.
Of course there is.
It goes, "if you want to
read something into a situation,
it will become whatever
you want it to be."
What does that have
to do with a turtle?
I don't know. I forget the turtle part.
But the point is, is that you tend to,
you know, believe in a
bunch of conspiracy theories.
You're the one who
says the moon is manmade.
That's not a theory. That's a fact.
I mean, each crater's the same depth.
The damn thing rings like
a gong when you hit it.
You can't even see the other side.
Shit, they probably got
an Arby's over there.
Maybe even a strip club,
full with moon titties.
You're right.
Probably all in my head
for, you know, this bit.
Why don't you go and do the next call,
and I'll wait here for Ernie
and make sure this gets to the tow yard?
It's a solid plan, Deputy.
- Thank you, sir.
- Divide and conquer.
That is a shit ton of drywall.
Divide and conquer, Deputy.
You are going to love my home planet.
Unfortunately, you are
too old to be tested
in the punishing ice wind desert.
But we can take a field trip,
and I can bury you up
to your neck in the dirt
and kick you in the head.
Rip off your eyelids.
They grow back. They grow back.
Son!
We need to have a family meeting.
I'm not your son,
and I am not part of your family.
I read that young boys can be difficult.
I'm 28.
I'm gonna put you in a timeout.
Okay?
I've been offered an
exciting new opportunity,
so we are moving.
I am bringing you and
Merle to my home planet.
You will like my planet.
We do not have soccer,
but we have a game
that is like football.
But there's no ball.
And you cannot use your feet.
It's fighting to the death.
So fun.
You know what? You can use your feet.
I'm not going anywhere with you.
I need to I need
to go back to my life.
You have no life.
You would not have clothes
if I did not buy them for you.
You stole them out
of a Goodwill dumpster.
I threw in a dollar.
Look, thank you
for getting me out of that prison,
but I I have to go.
Wait.
If you are leaving,
I have something I have to give to you.
What is it?
I promised your father
I would protect you.
This is technology from my planet
that I no longer need
because I am leaving.
What does it do?
Humans cannot control the energy,
but it will keep you from dying.
It also keeps hot drinks hot.
Let me just paint the scene.
Um, we have a balcony
that's south-facing.
And all of a sudden,
there's a blackout in our building.
I step outside on my balcony,
and all of a sudden, out
of the corner of my eye,
I see these three dots of
white-ish, yellow lights,
zooming along in a triangle formation.
There's no sound whatsoever.
Entire thing was about
three, four seconds.
I see this thing, after
the blackout happens.
Is that what caused it?
I don't know. But it freaked me out.
That incident really spooked me out.
Honey?
You okay?
What are you doing?
Oh.
Why am I in the kitchen?
Oh, honey,
you were sleepwalking again.
Oh, my God, that is so weird.
I was having that same dream again.
I was in bed.
My whole family was there.
And now, suddenly, I'm here.
Next time, don't wake me up
until I've finished the dishes.
Oh, sweetie.
Come to bed.
Hello, stink!
Your nicknames are getting lazy.
Listen, I
I drew a picture of myself for you,
since you've never seen
what I look like as a human.
- This is what you look like?
- Yes.
It is a perfect likeness.
Are you impressed with my skill?
Uh, yeah.
You know, you don't
usually give me gifts.
Except for that hunting
T-shirt with the bullseye on it.
I am doing what humans
call a goodbye tour.
Me and the alien baby are
going home to my planet.
And we are leaving here forever.
No, you're not.
You care about me way too much to leave.
What? I do not!
You just drew me a picture.
You only do that for someone you love.
I only drew that because I'm an artist
and I want to share
my gift with the world.
You drew a stick figure.
This looks nothing like you.
How dare you body shame me.
That is my goal weight.
Are you saying I'm fat?
Whatever.
I gotta go home. See you soon.
I will see you never!
I am not fat. I am thick.
All bodies are beautiful,
except yours, you squirrel-necked dick.
Funny story. Ernie just called.
He said he came to pick up the van,
but when he got there, it wasn't there.
And neither were you.
Oh, right!
The other guy came to pick it up.
Ned, I think?
And he was gonna drop me straight here,
but then we ended up getting a burger.
And then he thought it was a date,
so I told him I was married,
and he said so is he.
And, um, the thing is,
his wife Madeline has this
don't-ask-don't-tell policy
ever since she made out with
her college roommate Heather
at their 15th reunion.
They went to Brandeis.
Your lies have gotten very specific.
Fine, I took it.
I'm sorry, you say you took the van?
You mean you stole the van.
- Yep.
- You're an officer of the law.
His death was no accident.
The van is safe in my garage.
Listen to me, I want
you to get that van
to the impound immediately.
Impound immediately, Deputy.
You know what? This is what you do.
Your dad even said.
You run away from everything
that takes you out of your comfort zone.
I'm trying to be your friend.
A real friend would
trust me and have my back.
I'm keeping the van.
Wh no, no, no,
no, wait, wait, no.
A real friend wouldn't
make their friends
come visit them in jail
and they have to go
through a cavity search
to make sure they don't
have a knife up their ass
to try to break you out of there.
And everybody knows a knife in the ass
can feel a little slice-y.
Well, I think I, like,
kind of jokingly posted
on Facebook, like,
"We went camping this weekend,
and we may have seen a UFO."
'Cause at first, we're trying
to play process of elimination,
'cause it could have been
a plane, it could have been
But its movement was
just way too erratic.
It couldn't have been those things.
So it just, like, kind of looked like
that bright white-ish light.
The mountain ridge was, like,
there, and it was, like
This is an alien.
And therefore, don't look at it.
Don't take your phone out
'cause they're gonna come get you.
- They're gonna take our phones.
- Yeah.
And then it got weird.
Hello, Asta!
If you are watching this right now,
then I'm already in space.
I definitely said goodbye to you,
but you probably did not hear me
because you were reading
a dresses magazine.
Max told me you have Baby.
"Baby"? No, his name is Chaz.
Baby!
I thought I'd never see you again.
Thank. You.
You help me.
You helped me.
I didn't think I'd be able to raise
a human hybrid alien baby toddler boy,
but I did.
I feel like I'm a different person
since I met you.
Oh, look, this door is open.
It's good for going out of houses.
I know you're going on a long trip.
I got you this.
I stitched a hijab on her
head so you will remember me.
And I got you healthy snacks.
Remember,
eating live birds is
bad for your cholesterol.
Goodbye, Baby.
Goodbye, Mama.
My people always thought
that modern humans hated aliens
and saw them as their enemy.
It appears that Asta
is not the only human
who can care about a being
so different from themselves.
And I got snacks for you too.
You can't name him Chaz.
He is significant.
Extraordinary.
He is the bridge between
your people and mine.
And his name should reflect that.
I will name you
"Bridget."
Come to Papa, Bridget.
Now go take off this monkey suit.
You look stupid.
Are you Olivia Baker?
Yeah, that's me.
We're looking for a stolen van.
We've been asking around,
and one of your neighbors
said they saw you driving
a van into your garage.
Oh, well, my neighbors are liars,
and they throw their dog
poop in my garbage can.
Then you won't mind if
we take a look at inside?
Hi, hon.
Two.
Everything okay, officers?
You care to pull up a chair?
We're following up on
reports of a stolen van
being parked here.
But there doesn't seem to be one.
No, there doesn't.
Hmm.
Well, sorry to disappoint you,
but the only borderline
criminal activity
going on around here is me
taking this gentleman's
life savings away.
He's not wrong about that.
Either of you two have
20 bucks I can borrow?
Sorry about this.
We were obviously given some bad intel.
You're from Braddock,
right? Hey, do me a favor.
You make sure you tell Lieutenant Meegan
that Sheriff Mike says
he still owes him $30
from last month's poker game.
- We'll tell him.
- Thank you.
What's happening?
After we talked yesterday,
I took a look at the CCTV feed,
and that van was driven
into Patience at 1:30 a.m.,
three hours after Peter Bach died.
So, Deputy, you're right,
there's some shady shit going on here.
- Where's the van?
- Don't worry.
It's on the rez. It's safe.
Thank you.
Thank you for believing me.
And I'm sorry you had to break
the law to lie to the police.
Don't be sorry because I didn't.
Those two, they weren't real cops.
There's no Lieutenant
Meegan in Braddock.
Oh, my God.
So now I need you to tell me
who you think they really were.
If you say something about aliens
well, maybe this time I'll listen.
My people do not
have a word for failure.
They lost the planet to the Greys,
but there is no failure.
There is just moving forward
and attempting to save
a different planet.
My people may not know
the word "failure,"
but I do.
I do not know if the general can save
this beautiful planet.
It does not matter. I can do nothing.
I am Goliath, and I know that if I stay,
I will fail to save it.
All I have left is my baby.
I must protect him and bring him home.
I did not care about the
baby when I first saw it.
I considered eating it more than once.
It would be tasty.
But I have gotten to a place
all humans get to eventually.
I no longer want to eat my baby.
Bridget needs me.
And he is so cute when he sleeps
and sucks on one of his four thumbs.
I do not even mind cleaning his poop.
Oh.
The angry girl is not the only one
who has been changed by the baby.
I have been changed too.
That is why Goliath gave you to me.
I am different now.
And I do not have to fail.
I am not Goliath.
Oh!
You forgot your snacks!
I'll eat them for you.
So from the mountains, I
see, like, this red light,
like, starting to,
like, come up in an arc.
And it met where the white light was
and then just, like, disappeared.
So it was, like, a rendezvous.
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
I've got this winter
formal thing coming up.
- Mm.
- My mom bought me a dress.
What do you think?
Um
It's
- It's awful.
- It's awful.
I'm sorry.
My mom sucks at this.
No, it's not your mom's fault.
A dress like that would
look great on some people.
It's just, our skin tone,
it's totally draining.
Yeah, I know. I tried to tell her.
Um maybe you can help me find one?
Really?
Can you come with me
to that new vintage store?
Help look?
Uh, yeah. I haven't been there yet.
Is it is it good?
It's so good.
I also already checked your schedule,
so I know you don't work tomorrow.
- Oh.
- 3:00?
Okay, sure.
- I'll be there.
- Great.
- Jay?
- Yeah.
Really, I'll be there.
I know you will.
Sorry, I left some stuff in here.
Don't worry about it.
I should have known they weren't Asta's
when they were left in a neat pile.
I threw them in here.
Thanks.
If you want to clean Asta's room,
I'm fine with that.
No, I'm okay.
Thought I'd give it a shot.
What's this?
Could use this.
Thanks, Asta.
No.
No, no.
Asta!
I thought I was never
gonna see you again.
I thought the Greys
left you an escape pod
and you were going home.
Why would you think that?
The Greys left me an escape pod,
so I'm finally going home.
I did not leave.
I sent the baby alone.
That's great.
So you're gonna try
and help save the Earth?
I will try.
But I had to protect
Bridget, so I sent him home.
Bridget.
That's what you settled on. It's nice.
I miss him so much!
Harry.
The human connection to a child,
it is powerful.
Yeah.
Someday
you and Jay will be together again.
And it will feel very nice for you.
Thank you.
You want to tell me
why you have what I assume
is the botulinum toxin that killed Sam?
Where did you get that?
This is it, huh?
This is your big secret.
Harry killed Sam.
And you're covering for him. Why?
It's not like that.
- You have to trust me.
- Trust you?
You have been lying to me for a year.
You don't trust me.
But you trust some random-ass weirdo
who just eats pizza all goddamn day,
and I guess is a murderer?
Do you have
Do you have any idea
what that does to me?
No, you're the one person
that makes sense to me
in this whole world,
and without you, I am nothing.
You're a mess.
Just tell me.
Tell me what's going on right now.
I can't. I'm sorry, I can't.
Go get an apartment
with somebody else.
D'arce, come on.
- D'arce
- No, let me go!
I can't do this. I'm done.
I can't be friends with you.
Not if you lie to me.
D'arcy, no! No!
Please, look, everything's
gonna be okay, okay?
Um, I I promise.
- You're my best friend.
- Am I?
Please.
'Cause it was supposed to be
you and me against the world.
You and me.
And I would do anything
for you, and you know that.
But you don't need me!
No, of course I need you. Please
That's my secret.
You're a dinosaur.
What? No.
Well
Thank God.
Oh!
- This is your big secret?
- Yeah.
No, no, I'm not a dinosaur.
I'm an alien.
Whatever. Same thing.
Oh, my God, of course
you didn't tell me.
- This makes total sense now.
- Yeah, yeah, okay.
- Dinosaur?
- I was so afraid.
Have you ever seen a dino
I've seen dinosaurs.
- I'm so relieved.
- You are?
Dinosaurs are not even alive anymore.
Just don't cut me out.
- Uh, hello?
- Ever.
Again, you gotta tell
me everything, all right?
Of course, I will.
This alien doesn't have pants,
and you don't seem to notice.
Oh, yeah, I don't
care about that anymore.
- We're good.
- Okay.
These connections between
humans tie them together
and give them strength.
Humans are stronger
when they have support
from someone they care about.
There's that type that have told me,
you know, after sharing my experience,
things like, "I believe that
you believe what you saw."
Do you believe that you saw a UFO?
I mean, I mentioned
that I saw something,
but then my teacher,
uh, didn't believe me,
and so I just pretended
that he was right
and never mentioned it again.
You know, this world that we live in
is a lot more
unconventional than we think,
and there's bizarre phenomenon
happening out there to people
that's real.
What would you say
to your teacher now?
Sorry.
Uh ah, I'll do this, okay.
I believe in aliens.
I didn't think I was
gonna get emotional, sorry.
Humans create strong bonds.
They have to for survival.
It is no surprise humans seek strength
from one another.
So they don't feel so
alone in this scary life.
Sheriff's deputy, Merrimack
County, New Hampshire?
Before that, eight years Army Recon.
Impressive.
Thanks.
Trust me, I take my
job as Sheriff's deputy
very seriously.
I'm good at making sure
people don't step out of line.
- That's what happened.
- Oh, that tracks.
What about the medical conferences?
- No.
- Oh.
One was an alien convention,
and one was an alien baby.
What?
What is that?
You should go to the bunker now.
The what?
It is a fallout shelter
for the end of the world.
The end of the what now?
Hey, this is why I
didn't tell you about it.
- Take her, quick.
- No, no
Hey, what is happening?
Do not worry. I have
been expecting them.
I will not leave you this time.
Sorry, did you say
"the end of the world"?
It's fine.
The doors were unlocked.
I will send you a bill.
An enemy is someone who
stands on the opposite side
of what you believe in.
Maybe when the goal is as
important as saving the Earth,
there is no such thing as an enemy.
You're him?
The one from the cage?
Yes.
Do you know why I brought you here?
Yes.
I don't think you do.
Do you want me to take those off,
or do you want to do it yourself?
I can just do it.
Idiots.
You want this?
Dismissed.
What is this place?
This?
It's nothing.
A quarter of a mile down, there's a lot.
You owe me money for my cabin doors.
Do not be afraid.
Your baby is here too.
Real Harry killed Sam.
He was a bad man.
I'm producing a documentary
where experiencers share their stories.
Would you be interested
in participating?
Oh, I couldn't.
There's a secret base in Wyoming.
If they took your alien baby,
that's where it would be.
No!
Please, save my son.
All right, here we go.
Let's roll, please.
I'm Mike Richardson,
and I'm CEO of Dark Horse Media.
I grew up in Milwaukie, Oregon,
which is a suburb of Portland.
Every neighborhood in
those days had a small,
little neighborhood grocery store,
and my mom used to send me
down for nonessential things,
like bread and milk,
things that you just
picked up on the fly.
My friend Duke lived
about two houses up Edison,
on the opposite side of the street.
I hopped on my bike. Duke joined me.
And we rode down to the store,
which was located on 30th.
On the way back, at the bottom of 34th,
we looked up in the sky,
and there's this big disc there,
about the size of my fist,
up in the sky.
And it was perfectly round, silent.
The outside was spinning.
The center was stationary.
It was probably up in the
air about 60 to 100 feet.
And we just got off our
bikes and stood there
and watched it for a while.
You know, I tend to be a skeptic.
I need to find a logical
reason for these things.
But this is something
I can't really explain.
I don't I have no idea
what it what it was.
I can only say what it is,
and it seems to be consistent
with our conception of
what a flying saucer is.
What'd that thing ever do to you?
It's probably got a family,
little baby sliders running around,
looking for their daddy.
Stop!
You're gonna make me choke.
Mm, I need to see Harry soon.
He just got back from a, um
Medical convention.
So did you take a look at
that apartment I sent to you?
It's tiny.
Hello, it's got a hot tub.
Yeah, and no bedrooms,
with, like, a pullout
couch and a wooden chair.
- And a floor.
- Okay.
Oh, shit.
God, I thought she wasn't working today.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Sup, Cheese?
So I just found out that
I'm a few credits short
for my science elective.
And I was I was wondering
if I could maybe have my
old job at the clinic back.
Yeah, sure.
We could use the help.
You could start right away.
Okay. I'll see you later, Cheese.
- See ya.
- See ya.
- Cheese?
- It's a long story.
- Got nothing to do with cheese.
- Hmm.
-
- Mm, just Harry,
eager to tell me about
the medical convention.
Oh, excuse me.
Gosh, he is just really
excited about medicine.
First, you need to know that
our people are not
coming to kill everyone.
Why are they not coming?
Because it's too dangerous.
There is an alien race
that's planning to take over the Earth.
They're here, Harry.
What alien race?
You must be careful.
It's the Greys.
They've learned how
to live on this planet,
and they have mastered hybridization.
There are Grey human
hybrids all over the Earth.
And they're planning on taking over,
and they will succeed.
I was there.
I failed to protect the Earth,
and I watched it die.
And there is only one person
who may have the resources
to stop the Greys,
an Air Force general
named Eleanor McCallister.
But I killed her.
Do not make the same mistake.
She may be Earth's only hope.
Oh.
Also, I'm you from the future.
This is some crazy shit.
Do all alien babies
on your planet do this?
No.
My Moesha is special.
Moesha?
You don't like it?
I'm trying out names.
Brad.
Hey!
Do not drink the toilet water, Jebidiah!
Okay, what did Goliath say?
Hybridized half-Grey, half-human?
The Greys, they are too spindly
to spend too much time
in Earth's atmosphere.
So developing hybrids
to take over the Earth,
that makes sense.
At least tell me you
didn't kill that general.
No, I got the message in time.
I can hear you drinking!
I did not kill her.
Good. At least there's hope.
Um, okay, now we could work with her,
and then you could get
rid of these Grey things.
I will not work with her.
She is my enemy.
You heard Goliath.
He tried to stop the Greys.
He failed. He is me.
So if I try, I will fail.
You are not a failure.
You have to do something.
You can't just let the Grey aliens
take over the Earth.
It is worse than failure.
It is future failure.
It is guaranteed.
Well, I'll never get
that image out of my head.
Okay, you're not gonna help
the general save the world?
Then what? What are you going to do?
I will do what human failures do.
I will ignore my horrible life
by being a parent
and passing my resentments
on to my children.
"Children"?
Can you keep it down? I am sleeping.
I adopted the Alien
Tracker's son, Robert.
Oh, do not slam that door!
You are not sleeping this day away!
I'm signing you up for soccer practice.
Hey.
Hey, I know new
budget's going in soon,
so I came by to see if
there were any updates
on my requests.
Requests, yes. Let's see here, new pens.
Well, that's not it.
Oh, here it is.
Eight additional deputies,
four more patrol cars,
and body cams for
everyone, including Cletus.
Well, of course Cletus,
'cause you know he got a temper on him,
so it he roughs somebody
up, we need to know about it.
- Seems like a lot.
- This is the bare minimum.
Hell, when we get that resort built,
we gonna need a new prison
just for the prostitutes alone.
As a matter of fact, go ahead and put
"hooker jail" on that list for me.
Although, to be honest,
I'm not sure if that's
the proper term anymore.
It's probably "sex worker jail."
You can put that down there
'cause you know hookers,
they love to use that
modern terminology.
And I want to be as respectful as I can
to all them hard-working
hoes out there.
Look, about the resort.
I'm no longer gonna support it.
What?
I think I was just so caught up
in trying to rebrand Patience
away from being a murder town
that I forgot how much I love it.
I don't want it to change.
Look, I don't expect you to understand.
I understand, if we
don't get this resort,
there's gonna be riots, okay?
So now I need 30 officers.
I need nine cars.
- And I need a damn tank.
- Okay.
Well, I can give you
one more deputy and
this Hot Wheels car
Max left in my office.
You got one of them
loop-de-loop things
for it to go on, but you gotta make sure
it goes fast enough or else
it don't get past
the loop-de-loop?
I can bring you one from home.
I'll take it.
I discovered my breastfeeding bra
did not work for feeding the baby.
I kept draining the teats myself.
Ten hamburgers.
Hope the monster baby's hungry.
Hello, Harry.
My name is Joseph.
I do not care. You are a Grey.
I will call you "Dickhead."
We may be enemies,
but I think we can be
professional about this.
I know you are, but what am I?
What?
We've made a deal with your people.
They have conceded the Earth to us.
We get the planet, we let you go home.
There's an escape pod up
on the mountain for you.
It will take you to your planet.
I'll text you the coordinates.
You can be on your way.
I do not like to give
out my phone number.
We already have it.
The Greys have my phone number?
- How did you get it?
- I don't know.
- Probably the phone company.
- That is impossible.
They do not give away that information.
Grey aliens are pretty powerful.
Not powerful enough to
get somebody's phone number
from the phone number
company unless they say,
"Yeah, okay, give them my phone number."
- I think we are.
- I do not like it.
Well, I'm texting you anyway.
Do not do it. Just write it down.
I don't have a pen.
Fine. Text it.
You do not share my number, do you?
'Cause I do not want
all those spam calls.
I don't think we do that.
Okay, good, 'cause
Good.
I still do not think
that the phone company
gave you my phone number.
Okay, fine, I went to your clinic
and pretended I was
one of your patients.
One of your nurses gave me your number.
- Ellen?
- Yeah, that sounds right.
That one? Her? Her?
Yeah, that's her.
God! She's the worst.
She is horrible. She
steals food from my office!
Why don't you just lock your door?
Because then it's complicated.
It's I have to carry a key.
I get that.
You fall on your keys one time,
and you start making different plans.
Well, there you go.
Good luck.
Dickhead says "what?"
- What?
- Chicken butt.
Jackass.
I can go home.
I'm not paying for this food!
There's a fly in my pie!
How does it feel?
So I know you've had many encounters.
I understand you were
able to record one of them?
There was one time that
I did record the encounter.
It was actually just
recently, New Year's Eve.
So this was right over top of the ocean.
The new year had just
kicked off, midnight,
and there were two floating orbs
right over top of the city.
When we zoom in on these,
you can actually see that
they are changing shape.
Anytime you look up to the skies,
there's stuff going on there
if you really look hard enough.
This base has been compromised.
We're moving everything to Farmington 5.
That base hasn't been used in years.
Then we'll have plenty of room.
Yes, ma'am.
There's something else.
They may have had some
help on the inside too.
He went straight for the safe.
Every guard is accounted
for after the breach,
except for that one.
Well, looks like we have our mole.
Find him.
And bring me Peter Bach's hard drive.
I can't.
It's gone.
That information is fully encrypted.
If anyone so much as plugs
in that drive, we'll know it.
And when they do,
I want you to grab everyone
within 200 yards of it.
Yes, ma'am.
Cunningham says he hikes
this canyon every morning.
Hey, been getting some complaints
about a suspicious black van
parked on the sidewalk downtown.
You all right there, Deputy?
It's in that spot that
the SUV went off the road.
Authorities said the
driver lost control,
sending him over the edge.
The driver died in the ensuing fire.
The name of the deceased
has been released,
a man named Peter Bach.
Back to you.
Oh. Oh, no.
Deputy, I'm
I'm sorry. That's terrible.
I knew he was onto something.
He got too close. They killed him.
Wait, wait. Hold on, Deputy.
Now, this is just a car accident.
It was no accident. He was murdered.
Where did you say
that abandoned van was?
I knew it.
This is Peter Bach's van.
The keys are still in it.
Doesn't mean something
shady was going on.
It doesn't make sense.
I checked CCTV from the bank
and saw Peter drive this exact van
out of town last night.
Then he dies in an SUV and
the van ends up back here?
It's very shady.
You know, there's an
old saying about a turtle.
Of course there is.
It goes, "if you want to
read something into a situation,
it will become whatever
you want it to be."
What does that have
to do with a turtle?
I don't know. I forget the turtle part.
But the point is, is that you tend to,
you know, believe in a
bunch of conspiracy theories.
You're the one who
says the moon is manmade.
That's not a theory. That's a fact.
I mean, each crater's the same depth.
The damn thing rings like
a gong when you hit it.
You can't even see the other side.
Shit, they probably got
an Arby's over there.
Maybe even a strip club,
full with moon titties.
You're right.
Probably all in my head
for, you know, this bit.
Why don't you go and do the next call,
and I'll wait here for Ernie
and make sure this gets to the tow yard?
It's a solid plan, Deputy.
- Thank you, sir.
- Divide and conquer.
That is a shit ton of drywall.
Divide and conquer, Deputy.
You are going to love my home planet.
Unfortunately, you are
too old to be tested
in the punishing ice wind desert.
But we can take a field trip,
and I can bury you up
to your neck in the dirt
and kick you in the head.
Rip off your eyelids.
They grow back. They grow back.
Son!
We need to have a family meeting.
I'm not your son,
and I am not part of your family.
I read that young boys can be difficult.
I'm 28.
I'm gonna put you in a timeout.
Okay?
I've been offered an
exciting new opportunity,
so we are moving.
I am bringing you and
Merle to my home planet.
You will like my planet.
We do not have soccer,
but we have a game
that is like football.
But there's no ball.
And you cannot use your feet.
It's fighting to the death.
So fun.
You know what? You can use your feet.
I'm not going anywhere with you.
I need to I need
to go back to my life.
You have no life.
You would not have clothes
if I did not buy them for you.
You stole them out
of a Goodwill dumpster.
I threw in a dollar.
Look, thank you
for getting me out of that prison,
but I I have to go.
Wait.
If you are leaving,
I have something I have to give to you.
What is it?
I promised your father
I would protect you.
This is technology from my planet
that I no longer need
because I am leaving.
What does it do?
Humans cannot control the energy,
but it will keep you from dying.
It also keeps hot drinks hot.
Let me just paint the scene.
Um, we have a balcony
that's south-facing.
And all of a sudden,
there's a blackout in our building.
I step outside on my balcony,
and all of a sudden, out
of the corner of my eye,
I see these three dots of
white-ish, yellow lights,
zooming along in a triangle formation.
There's no sound whatsoever.
Entire thing was about
three, four seconds.
I see this thing, after
the blackout happens.
Is that what caused it?
I don't know. But it freaked me out.
That incident really spooked me out.
Honey?
You okay?
What are you doing?
Oh.
Why am I in the kitchen?
Oh, honey,
you were sleepwalking again.
Oh, my God, that is so weird.
I was having that same dream again.
I was in bed.
My whole family was there.
And now, suddenly, I'm here.
Next time, don't wake me up
until I've finished the dishes.
Oh, sweetie.
Come to bed.
Hello, stink!
Your nicknames are getting lazy.
Listen, I
I drew a picture of myself for you,
since you've never seen
what I look like as a human.
- This is what you look like?
- Yes.
It is a perfect likeness.
Are you impressed with my skill?
Uh, yeah.
You know, you don't
usually give me gifts.
Except for that hunting
T-shirt with the bullseye on it.
I am doing what humans
call a goodbye tour.
Me and the alien baby are
going home to my planet.
And we are leaving here forever.
No, you're not.
You care about me way too much to leave.
What? I do not!
You just drew me a picture.
You only do that for someone you love.
I only drew that because I'm an artist
and I want to share
my gift with the world.
You drew a stick figure.
This looks nothing like you.
How dare you body shame me.
That is my goal weight.
Are you saying I'm fat?
Whatever.
I gotta go home. See you soon.
I will see you never!
I am not fat. I am thick.
All bodies are beautiful,
except yours, you squirrel-necked dick.
Funny story. Ernie just called.
He said he came to pick up the van,
but when he got there, it wasn't there.
And neither were you.
Oh, right!
The other guy came to pick it up.
Ned, I think?
And he was gonna drop me straight here,
but then we ended up getting a burger.
And then he thought it was a date,
so I told him I was married,
and he said so is he.
And, um, the thing is,
his wife Madeline has this
don't-ask-don't-tell policy
ever since she made out with
her college roommate Heather
at their 15th reunion.
They went to Brandeis.
Your lies have gotten very specific.
Fine, I took it.
I'm sorry, you say you took the van?
You mean you stole the van.
- Yep.
- You're an officer of the law.
His death was no accident.
The van is safe in my garage.
Listen to me, I want
you to get that van
to the impound immediately.
Impound immediately, Deputy.
You know what? This is what you do.
Your dad even said.
You run away from everything
that takes you out of your comfort zone.
I'm trying to be your friend.
A real friend would
trust me and have my back.
I'm keeping the van.
Wh no, no, no,
no, wait, wait, no.
A real friend wouldn't
make their friends
come visit them in jail
and they have to go
through a cavity search
to make sure they don't
have a knife up their ass
to try to break you out of there.
And everybody knows a knife in the ass
can feel a little slice-y.
Well, I think I, like,
kind of jokingly posted
on Facebook, like,
"We went camping this weekend,
and we may have seen a UFO."
'Cause at first, we're trying
to play process of elimination,
'cause it could have been
a plane, it could have been
But its movement was
just way too erratic.
It couldn't have been those things.
So it just, like, kind of looked like
that bright white-ish light.
The mountain ridge was, like,
there, and it was, like
This is an alien.
And therefore, don't look at it.
Don't take your phone out
'cause they're gonna come get you.
- They're gonna take our phones.
- Yeah.
And then it got weird.
Hello, Asta!
If you are watching this right now,
then I'm already in space.
I definitely said goodbye to you,
but you probably did not hear me
because you were reading
a dresses magazine.
Max told me you have Baby.
"Baby"? No, his name is Chaz.
Baby!
I thought I'd never see you again.
Thank. You.
You help me.
You helped me.
I didn't think I'd be able to raise
a human hybrid alien baby toddler boy,
but I did.
I feel like I'm a different person
since I met you.
Oh, look, this door is open.
It's good for going out of houses.
I know you're going on a long trip.
I got you this.
I stitched a hijab on her
head so you will remember me.
And I got you healthy snacks.
Remember,
eating live birds is
bad for your cholesterol.
Goodbye, Baby.
Goodbye, Mama.
My people always thought
that modern humans hated aliens
and saw them as their enemy.
It appears that Asta
is not the only human
who can care about a being
so different from themselves.
And I got snacks for you too.
You can't name him Chaz.
He is significant.
Extraordinary.
He is the bridge between
your people and mine.
And his name should reflect that.
I will name you
"Bridget."
Come to Papa, Bridget.
Now go take off this monkey suit.
You look stupid.
Are you Olivia Baker?
Yeah, that's me.
We're looking for a stolen van.
We've been asking around,
and one of your neighbors
said they saw you driving
a van into your garage.
Oh, well, my neighbors are liars,
and they throw their dog
poop in my garbage can.
Then you won't mind if
we take a look at inside?
Hi, hon.
Two.
Everything okay, officers?
You care to pull up a chair?
We're following up on
reports of a stolen van
being parked here.
But there doesn't seem to be one.
No, there doesn't.
Hmm.
Well, sorry to disappoint you,
but the only borderline
criminal activity
going on around here is me
taking this gentleman's
life savings away.
He's not wrong about that.
Either of you two have
20 bucks I can borrow?
Sorry about this.
We were obviously given some bad intel.
You're from Braddock,
right? Hey, do me a favor.
You make sure you tell Lieutenant Meegan
that Sheriff Mike says
he still owes him $30
from last month's poker game.
- We'll tell him.
- Thank you.
What's happening?
After we talked yesterday,
I took a look at the CCTV feed,
and that van was driven
into Patience at 1:30 a.m.,
three hours after Peter Bach died.
So, Deputy, you're right,
there's some shady shit going on here.
- Where's the van?
- Don't worry.
It's on the rez. It's safe.
Thank you.
Thank you for believing me.
And I'm sorry you had to break
the law to lie to the police.
Don't be sorry because I didn't.
Those two, they weren't real cops.
There's no Lieutenant
Meegan in Braddock.
Oh, my God.
So now I need you to tell me
who you think they really were.
If you say something about aliens
well, maybe this time I'll listen.
My people do not
have a word for failure.
They lost the planet to the Greys,
but there is no failure.
There is just moving forward
and attempting to save
a different planet.
My people may not know
the word "failure,"
but I do.
I do not know if the general can save
this beautiful planet.
It does not matter. I can do nothing.
I am Goliath, and I know that if I stay,
I will fail to save it.
All I have left is my baby.
I must protect him and bring him home.
I did not care about the
baby when I first saw it.
I considered eating it more than once.
It would be tasty.
But I have gotten to a place
all humans get to eventually.
I no longer want to eat my baby.
Bridget needs me.
And he is so cute when he sleeps
and sucks on one of his four thumbs.
I do not even mind cleaning his poop.
Oh.
The angry girl is not the only one
who has been changed by the baby.
I have been changed too.
That is why Goliath gave you to me.
I am different now.
And I do not have to fail.
I am not Goliath.
Oh!
You forgot your snacks!
I'll eat them for you.
So from the mountains, I
see, like, this red light,
like, starting to,
like, come up in an arc.
And it met where the white light was
and then just, like, disappeared.
So it was, like, a rendezvous.
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
I've got this winter
formal thing coming up.
- Mm.
- My mom bought me a dress.
What do you think?
Um
It's
- It's awful.
- It's awful.
I'm sorry.
My mom sucks at this.
No, it's not your mom's fault.
A dress like that would
look great on some people.
It's just, our skin tone,
it's totally draining.
Yeah, I know. I tried to tell her.
Um maybe you can help me find one?
Really?
Can you come with me
to that new vintage store?
Help look?
Uh, yeah. I haven't been there yet.
Is it is it good?
It's so good.
I also already checked your schedule,
so I know you don't work tomorrow.
- Oh.
- 3:00?
Okay, sure.
- I'll be there.
- Great.
- Jay?
- Yeah.
Really, I'll be there.
I know you will.
Sorry, I left some stuff in here.
Don't worry about it.
I should have known they weren't Asta's
when they were left in a neat pile.
I threw them in here.
Thanks.
If you want to clean Asta's room,
I'm fine with that.
No, I'm okay.
Thought I'd give it a shot.
What's this?
Could use this.
Thanks, Asta.
No.
No, no.
Asta!
I thought I was never
gonna see you again.
I thought the Greys
left you an escape pod
and you were going home.
Why would you think that?
The Greys left me an escape pod,
so I'm finally going home.
I did not leave.
I sent the baby alone.
That's great.
So you're gonna try
and help save the Earth?
I will try.
But I had to protect
Bridget, so I sent him home.
Bridget.
That's what you settled on. It's nice.
I miss him so much!
Harry.
The human connection to a child,
it is powerful.
Yeah.
Someday
you and Jay will be together again.
And it will feel very nice for you.
Thank you.
You want to tell me
why you have what I assume
is the botulinum toxin that killed Sam?
Where did you get that?
This is it, huh?
This is your big secret.
Harry killed Sam.
And you're covering for him. Why?
It's not like that.
- You have to trust me.
- Trust you?
You have been lying to me for a year.
You don't trust me.
But you trust some random-ass weirdo
who just eats pizza all goddamn day,
and I guess is a murderer?
Do you have
Do you have any idea
what that does to me?
No, you're the one person
that makes sense to me
in this whole world,
and without you, I am nothing.
You're a mess.
Just tell me.
Tell me what's going on right now.
I can't. I'm sorry, I can't.
Go get an apartment
with somebody else.
D'arce, come on.
- D'arce
- No, let me go!
I can't do this. I'm done.
I can't be friends with you.
Not if you lie to me.
D'arcy, no! No!
Please, look, everything's
gonna be okay, okay?
Um, I I promise.
- You're my best friend.
- Am I?
Please.
'Cause it was supposed to be
you and me against the world.
You and me.
And I would do anything
for you, and you know that.
But you don't need me!
No, of course I need you. Please
That's my secret.
You're a dinosaur.
What? No.
Well
Thank God.
Oh!
- This is your big secret?
- Yeah.
No, no, I'm not a dinosaur.
I'm an alien.
Whatever. Same thing.
Oh, my God, of course
you didn't tell me.
- This makes total sense now.
- Yeah, yeah, okay.
- Dinosaur?
- I was so afraid.
Have you ever seen a dino
I've seen dinosaurs.
- I'm so relieved.
- You are?
Dinosaurs are not even alive anymore.
Just don't cut me out.
- Uh, hello?
- Ever.
Again, you gotta tell
me everything, all right?
Of course, I will.
This alien doesn't have pants,
and you don't seem to notice.
Oh, yeah, I don't
care about that anymore.
- We're good.
- Okay.
These connections between
humans tie them together
and give them strength.
Humans are stronger
when they have support
from someone they care about.
There's that type that have told me,
you know, after sharing my experience,
things like, "I believe that
you believe what you saw."
Do you believe that you saw a UFO?
I mean, I mentioned
that I saw something,
but then my teacher,
uh, didn't believe me,
and so I just pretended
that he was right
and never mentioned it again.
You know, this world that we live in
is a lot more
unconventional than we think,
and there's bizarre phenomenon
happening out there to people
that's real.
What would you say
to your teacher now?
Sorry.
Uh ah, I'll do this, okay.
I believe in aliens.
I didn't think I was
gonna get emotional, sorry.
Humans create strong bonds.
They have to for survival.
It is no surprise humans seek strength
from one another.
So they don't feel so
alone in this scary life.
Sheriff's deputy, Merrimack
County, New Hampshire?
Before that, eight years Army Recon.
Impressive.
Thanks.
Trust me, I take my
job as Sheriff's deputy
very seriously.
I'm good at making sure
people don't step out of line.
- That's what happened.
- Oh, that tracks.
What about the medical conferences?
- No.
- Oh.
One was an alien convention,
and one was an alien baby.
What?
What is that?
You should go to the bunker now.
The what?
It is a fallout shelter
for the end of the world.
The end of the what now?
Hey, this is why I
didn't tell you about it.
- Take her, quick.
- No, no
Hey, what is happening?
Do not worry. I have
been expecting them.
I will not leave you this time.
Sorry, did you say
"the end of the world"?
It's fine.
The doors were unlocked.
I will send you a bill.
An enemy is someone who
stands on the opposite side
of what you believe in.
Maybe when the goal is as
important as saving the Earth,
there is no such thing as an enemy.
You're him?
The one from the cage?
Yes.
Do you know why I brought you here?
Yes.
I don't think you do.
Do you want me to take those off,
or do you want to do it yourself?
I can just do it.
Idiots.
You want this?
Dismissed.
What is this place?
This?
It's nothing.
A quarter of a mile down, there's a lot.
You owe me money for my cabin doors.
Do not be afraid.
Your baby is here too.