Scorpion (2014) s02e16 Episode Script
Fractured
WALTER: I'm Walter O'Brien.
I run a team of geniuses who handle worldwide threats only we can solve.
Sylvester is a human calculator.
Happy's a mechanical prodigy.
And Toby is our behaviorist.
Agent Cabe Gallo is our government handler.
And Paige helps translates the world for us while we help her understand her genius son.
Though sometimes our biggest challenge is understanding each other.
Together, we are Scorpion.
(chuckles): Come on, Toby.
This is hazelnut creamer.
And that's a table.
And that's a chair.
I'm pretty good at this game.
You wrote âhazelnutâ in front of creamer again on the grocery list.
I hate hazelnut.
People like flavored creamers.
âCreamerâ is a flavor.
And you could've just written a different item under it.
You could just relax.
Don't be such a creamer-screamer.
I'm not screaming.
Though I could very easily, if you don't stop that nonsense you've been pulling.
Really? Yes.
Absolutely.
Okay, okay.
This has got to end.
What does? You two fighting.
Constantly lately.
It's driving everyone nuts.
CABE: He's right.
You two argue like an old married couple.
He's intentionally antagonistic.
Actually I'm half antagonistic, on my mother's side.
But my father Over the past weeks, your antics have gone from petty annoyance to overtly combative.
Objection.
Inflammatory.
Overruled.
Objection.
You can't make that call.
You two are sweet on each other.
BOTH: Objection! Okay, if we're going to play kangaroo court, I have to go out of pocket to sweeten my java because all we normally we have here is regular creamer.
That honey is from Kovelsky's.
It's free.
Immaterial.
You know what? You both suck.
Your bickering is making everyone miserable.
Copy that.
You're being sentenced to couples therapy.
Awesome.
What? No.
I'm with jerk-face.
Well, too bad.
I manage this ball club and I've noticed things escalating for a while, so I did some research.
Dr.
Cecil P.
Rizzuto.
Yes, he specializes in business partners I'm getting you in this morning while Happy, Cabe and I prepare for our pitch to Hudler Motors.
But No buts.
You heard the judge.
Thank you.
(Paige typing) Good job, Mom.
Fair but stern.
I might not be a genius, but I can still tell when you want something.
A permission slip, so I can go with my college class on a kayak trip along the Channel Islands.
Kayaking in the ocean? No.
It's for my marine biology class.
Is the professor going? No.
I'm not letting you go without adult supervision.
Some of the students are 19.
Real adults.
Sorry.
And no means no.
Uh, totally agree with your stance on watercraft danger, but if Ralph doesn't partake in the field study, his grades will suffer.
I can take him to the tide pools.
He can explore indigenous sea life.
Bus goes right up the PCH.
Malibu's far and the rocks by the tide pools are sharp and slippery.
Well, he'll be with me.
Yeah no, I don't think so.
HAPPY: Maybe you can roll Ralph in bubble wrap before he goes.
Mother's only one S from Smother.
Let the kid be a boy.
We're raising a nation of pansies, for Pete's sake.
Fine.
Okay.
You can go.
Sylvester.
Uh-huh? But he is your responsibility, so if he gets hurt, cut, so much as a hair out of place, you will not like me very much.
Not sure I like you very much right now.
Good.
We'll take my car.
That heap? I'm taking my own sled.
Well, two cars are economically and environmentally inefficient, but still preferable to riding with you.
God help that therapist.
(sighs) (gulls screeching, surf crashing) Okay, the first thing I want to do in the ocean is take some samples.
Whoa.
Pull the reins, buddy.
No one's going into the ocean.
You're hitting the tide pools, and then that's it.
But we're right here.
Ralph the ocean's the world's toilet.
You want to stay out of toilets.
You also want to stay safe, so here, put these on.
Water wings? I'm only going in a quarter-inch can't hurt me.
But your mom can hurt me.
Besides, you can never be too prepared.
See I'm wearing a state-of-the-art life vest underneath my shirt.
It's paper-flat but inflates in seconds when exposed to water.
I got you one.
Here.
No.
Why not? Happy made it for me with tech similar to the airbags she's presenting today.
Why? Because she loves me.
Like a brother.
I used the same tech for a life vest I made for a lunatic I work with.
Just one of the many applications for this product.
When talking to the heads of the Hudler Motors, try not to refer to our coworkers as lunatics.
Yeah, so in short, we appreciate Hudler Motors' interest, and if you decide to go with a standard engineering firm for your new airbags well, that is stupid.
Food for thought instead of, uh, saying that to the people who might hire us, how about you stress âthis device comes with the brainpower of four geniuses behind it and no one else can match thatâ? Sounds like we're begging.
CABE: You are.
It's called getting business.
You're letting them know they're working with top professionals.
I'd be Zack Morris, Cabe is Mr.
Belding, Paige is Kelly and Sylvester's Screech.
Now let's do What's Happening? You're Rog, Happy's Dee Why do I feel like you're intentionally trying to annoy me? See, that's such a Rog thing to say.
Hello? (speaking Cantonese) Uh, sorry we're looking for, uh, Dr.
Cecil Rizzuto.
(speaking Cantonese) Did he move offices? There's a door sign.
Any English at all? (speaking Cantonese) Okay, we're done here.
See how hard it is to communicate when we're not speaking the same language? So you're the therapist? You're learning already, grasshopper.
Grab some couch.
Ms.
Dineen told me about your issues.
(Walter chuckling) Another language that speaks volumes is body language.
What does my body language tell you about me? From your glutteral lean, it says you have hemorrhoids.
Correct.
That's perfectly natural.
I'm not embarrassed.
But it also shows that I am open and sharing.
Where'd you get your degree, Doctor? I have a BS from Plimpton Internet University in, uh, Conflict Resolution, and I'm working toward an online Masters in People Studies.
I'm gonna kill Paige.
(gasps) Dear God, going in there should be a challenge on Survivor.
Can we get to the beach already? Yes.
First we need to sunscreen up.
And then you'll be ready (phone beeping) Hold on.
Oh, boy.
A message from the SoCal Office of Emergency Personnel.
Why do you get it? I signed up for alerts.
It's prudent to be Holy smokes! A 7.
8 quake just struck the bottom of the San Andreas at Conejo Pass.
Okay, based on the underlying bedrock of the pass, the quake could either brake right, dissipating in the desert, or veer left along the fault, which gives the rest of L.
A.
30 seconds until I need to reach out to the others! Okay, Ralph, we gotta get out from underneath these trees.
Everyone! There's an earthquake coming! It's coming for you! Okay, in between those two cars.
Let's go.
(rumbling) (car alarms blaring) It's coming.
Get down! (people shouting, screaming) (grunting) Okay, now that we worked on your presentation, let's talk about your presentation.
What's wrong with my clothes? You look like you just got off a motorcycle.
I did just get off a motorcycle.
(cell phones chiming, ringing, buzzing) âThe big one's comingâ? I just got the same thing.
What is Sly talking about? (rumbling) Everyone, drop, cover, hold on.
BOTH: What would you do If my heart was If you can harmonize âMore Than Wordsâ together, then you can have harmony together.
Sing it out.
Pull the laces.
(rumbling) Show you feel Get down.
Get down! Walter, I don't want my last act on earth to be singing a Capella with you.
Holy crap.
(rumbling, glass shattering) (rumbling fades, car alarms blaring) (grunting) Well, that was a minimum 7.
5.
I think our session's over, Walt.
Is everyone all right? PAIGE: Yeah.
I have to call Ralph.
The line's dead.
It's not working.
Uh, network overload.
Same thing happened on 9/11.
Combination of infrastructure damage and millions trying to use the same system simultaneously.
Okay, I still have to know if my son is okay.
There's still a chance.
Take out your comms.
On the back, there's a hole.
Reset the comm by pressing the hole.
What the hell are we doing? Connecting to a backup frequency Sly designed.
The comms run on microwaves.
Uh, the signal is inconsistent at best, but better than nothing.
Why'd he want to do something like that? Earthquakes, wildfires, mudslides, flash floods Southern California is biblical.
The only thing that's missing are locusts.
Hence a back-up comm system.
Now, if I could only find my glasses so I could do mine.
(crunching) Oh, man.
I can hardly see anything without these on.
(sighs) Ralph, can you activate my comm for me? Thank you.
Ralph, Sylvester? Can you hear me? Mom! It's me.
Are you okay? (sighs) Yeah, fine, sweetheart.
I'm just so glad to hear your voice.
Are you guys okay? Yes.
We both are.
Yeah, we are, too.
(indistinct chatter, car alarms wailing) Can't say the same for our city.
I didn't think L.
A.
could possibly get worse.
All right, the best plan is for us all to get back to the garage and assess any damage done to our equipment.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
That's not good.
Look out.
Look out.
Look out.
All right, I think that's the last of it.
We're safe now.
(over radio): Eastbound ramp at the 710 and 5 freeway's down.
All emergency personnel.
Reports of multiple building collapse in Rialto.
Requesting firefighter backup downtown.
Repeat: several blocks downtown are in flames.
Oh, this is as bad as it gets.
No, it's going to get much worse.
Now, the water pipe explosions occurred after the earthquake, when there was no shake.
That means they blew up from pressure build-up.
Which means the water pipes are pinched off somewhere further up the line to cause that build-up.
Don't the water and gas lines run parallel to each other in L.
A.
? HAPPY: Uh, yes.
I've read up on how it was an engineering marvel when designed.
It ran utilities all the way out to Vegas.
Bad news is, the pipes go through a meter station under Koreatown if the pipes are pinched off Then the gas pressure is building up as we speak.
We're talking about A potential megaton blast.
That's more than an A-bomb.
Right under everyone in Koreatown.
(siren wailing) Walter, we're talking mucho lives here! We got to figure out how to warn people! Okay, all communications are down.
Even emergency channels so, time? The comm signal isn't great, but I think you asked for a timing? Assuming the gas line was compromised right when the quake hit, and given the PSI of a large-diameter municipal pipe, we're looking at 35 minutes tops! Yeah, but the gas companies have automatic shut-off censors, right? TOBY: Their headquarters are outside Rialto.
We just heard there's substantial building collapse in that area.
If the gas company's fail-safes are compromised, then the gas buildup continues unabated.
And from the Old Faithfuls we're looking at here, that's the case.
Walter, you doing this for dramatic effect, or are you actually thinking? Happy, if water's overflowing a bathtub, and the tub might crash through the floor, now, what do you do first? Do you empty the tub or do you shut off the water? Shut the water, then empty the tub.
Exactly! And right now, the pressure's too high.
It's going to explode as the gas expands in the pipe.
So long as more gas is being fed into that pipe, it's just gonna make the pipe blow sooner.
WALTER: Correct.
Now, Sly, you're close to the Malibu Hills.
There is a fire road in Murphy Canyon that I used to hike with Megan.
Now, there's a cut-off station for the over-ground portion of the line, in case of wildfires.
Now, you need to cut off that gas feed while we get to the meter station under Koreatown, to vent it before it detonates.
It's so funny, that sounded like you said we're heading towards the danger.
It won't explode if we get there in time.
And if we don't, we'll just be right on top of it! No, we'll be right next to it! Come on.
Now, the surface streets are gonna be flooded with emergency vehicles, debris, collapsed roads the most efficient means of transport is underground! What's with the breath analyzer? Operates on the same tech as gas detectors.
Small tweak and we'll know if we're heading toward danger.
Oh, I already know that we're heading towards danger.
Everyone set your watches for a 34-minute countdown.
Happy, you need to try to meet up with us.
I might need your help with the pipe system mechanics.
Heading to the car now.
We'll be there as soon as we can.
MAN: Help! WOMAN: Help! MAN 2: Get us out of here! MAN: Help! CABE: Oh, man.
Uh, scratch that, Walt.
We're not gonna get there any time soon.
The water is electrified! We're trapped! It's all right, just stay there! Stay calm! We can get you out of there! We can get them out of there, right? If we can, we better do it fast.
There's no way to stop that busted main without the water company's help.
And there's no way to contact them.
And once that electrified water gets high enough to touch the bottom of the van A giant bathtub and the van's the toaster.
Bingo.
Rubber tires are the only thing keeping them alive.
That's the solution tires! (electricity popping and crackling) (muttering): Uh, 22, 22 feet.
Right here! What are you doing? Geometry.
Okay, guys grab a bunch of tires from the garage and stack them on this X! Hurry! We have no way to get to the gas cutoff and the clock is ticking.
What about that? The lifeguard ran off to help somebody.
I don't know when he's gonna be back.
Keys are in the ignition.
That's stealing.
Besides, I can barely drive when I have sight.
I won't be able to see where I'm going! No, but I will.
Turn left, hard! (tires screech) Everything's blurry! Straighten! I want to slow down.
These are dangerous canyon roads! We have to go 27 miles uphill.
We can't go slower than 50 if we're gonna get this done in time! Go faster! I told your mother I'd keep you safe! What was that?! What are you doing that's unsafe? I'm removing my comms, Mom.
Sylvester can't see, so we can't have distractions when driving.
What?! Ralph? Sylvester?! I'd take my comms out, too, if I we're you.
She sounded mad.
Oh, God, I am a dead man.
Hey, I should really hold that flashlight.
Steady surgeon hands.
You are a psychiatrist.
General Surgery rotation, Mass General.
Neurosurgery sub-internship, Harvard.
Here.
Solenopsis Invicta.
What? Brazilian fire ants that invaded SoCal decades ago in a shipment of plums.
Cracked water pipes must've flooded their nests, so they formed a living raft to protect the colony.
Well, I hope that's not a problem, 'cause the pipes go down to a sublevel now, how much do you want to bet that that's the hatch that we need to get to under those thousands of ants? $1,800? I'm a gambling addict.
But you'd never live to pay me, 'cause their bites carry a 25% chance of vomiting, disorientation or anaphylactic shock.
A thousand bites jacks up those odds tremendously.
Okay, uh, so what do we do now? CABE: Are you kidding me? Two geniuses getting bested by insects.
You've got a pocket full of honey, Doc.
If I can figure it out, so can you.
He's right! Kovelsky's to the rescue.
The water's getting higher and that out-of-control wire is gonna end up hitting the van! Uh, a few more minutes! We're on top of this! We're trained professionals! How you doing with the tires? It's getting pretty tall.
We're gonna need to get the ladders from the garage.
Hey, hey! Hey, man! I'm right here! Better slow down.
MAN: Right here! What's that blurry thing up ahead? Hey, hey, hey Someone's in trouble.
Slow down! Hey, hey Help me, please! We were sightseeing when the quake hit! She's stuck in there! If a bad aftershock hits next to this cliff, she could be buried alive.
We need to get her out.
It's pressing against my leg! I have an idea, but we have to be fast or we'll never make it to the gas line in time.
You're gonna listen to a kid? Well, he's not a regular kid.
Come on, you stupid bugs.
For the record, if not for my desire for plain creamer, you wouldn't have had honey in your pocket and we wouldn't have solved this, so Are you seriously taking credit for this? Just open the hatch.
Though I doubt your ego's gonna fit through the opening.
Excuse me? Hmm? Okay, now that we've got our skewer in place, we just need to finish this "tire-kebab.
" CABE: Uh-oh! We got oil dripping into the electrified water! Oil? Happy, if enough oil collects, it will catch fire, and those people will choke out from smoke.
Or blow up if the flames reach the fuel tank.
Rate it's pouring out, I'd say we've got about a minute before the van's engulfed in fumes or fire.
We can't leave them on there and we can't get them off there.
How the hell are we gonna save these people? All right, everybody to the back! Get away from the engine! Huddle up near the rear windows.
Happy, did you hear what Cabe just said? Hell, can you even hear me? Barely the comms aren't working great.
Do you have an idea? He said "huddle up.
" Just like the ants huddled up on the water as the levels rose.
You need to raise the water level.
Yes.
Once the water reaches where the oil leak is coming from, it will suffocate potential flames, because you can't have fire without oxyken, and there is no oxygen underwater! You just stole my idea.
I finished your thought in an easy-to-follow way.
What is wrong with you today? Hold on, once the water reaches the wheel rim, won't the whole van be electrified? As long as they don't touch anything metal, they're safe.
But if we kill the fire risk by trapping them in an electrified box, how does that help? One crisis at a time.
Doc, we're going with your idea.
See? My idea.
And how do we raise the water level? It's not like we can make a busted pipe flow faster.
Like my grandad used to say, "You you can't raise the river, lower the boat.
" Oh, here we go.
All right, back away and don't touch anything metal! The van's going into the water it's working! All right we gotta get the rest of those tires.
(gasping, groaning) God, still nothing from 911! Rescue crews are inundated with high-priority targets.
Even if you could get through, a low-volume rescue couldn't be prioritized.
A little to the left for the best mechanical advantage.
Are you sure he knows what he's doing? Absolutely.
He's first in his class.
Where elementary school? Actually, Caltech and elementary school.
Okay, Ralph, we're ready.
I'm gonna start pushing up on the dash, okay? (shouts, grunting) That's normal pain associated with the release of pressure.
I can't.
SYLVESTER: Get out of there.
Her pants are caught on metal.
I know what to do.
Ralph, get out of there! I need to cut her pants.
This jack is meant to nestle on a steel car frame! Not underneath a plastic dash with a thousand-pound pine on top! I'll be fast.
(woman screams) Ralph, the jack is beginning to give out! Hurry! She's clear! Ah! Ralph, it's starting to buckle! Hurry! (metal creaking) Ralph! Present.
Oh (gasping) Thank you.
SYLVESTER: I can tell by your stance that your leg is bruised, but not broken.
Your husband can take you down to PCH and help you flag a ride.
Okay.
Take care of yourselves.
Sylvester we have a lot of time to make up.
But how are we going to do that with a huge tree blocking the way? Okay, Toby, angle the light higher up ahead.
Aw, it's too bad I have the light now No, no.
I see something.
Oh, come on! Part of the ceiling collapsed.
Rays of light are getting through to the other side.
Rest of the tunnel's still intact.
Okay.
So we just push our way past.
No, Toby.
Toby, stop.
That rubble is holding up the rest of a seismically induced cave-in.
You move the wrong rock, and rest of the ceiling could collapse on us.
Okay, so what's your plan? Calculating approximate weight and density of the rocks, based on the size and the position in relation to the pieces around it, so If we can avoid the load-bearing stones, then we can bring down half of the wall without being buried alive.
So let's start with that that rock, right in front of you.
Where the light is.
Yep.
(grunts) See? Man, you love being right, don't you? Okay, the, uh, the-the brown one.
(sniffs) I'm sorry.
Huh? WALTER: For whatever I did that made you so mad at me.
I mean, I know I have relationship problems.
I barely speak to my parents; I can't date a woman for more than a few months.
But I-I I do try to be a cognizant friend to you, to Happy, Sly 'cause we're supposed to understand each other.
Okay.
That flat rock, right in front of you.
Yeah, sure thing.
But if I'm making you so upset to where you're arguing with me about minutia, and I don't even know what I'm doing wrong, then I'm not making as much progress as what I thought.
It's disheartening.
Should squeeze through.
(grunts) Come on.
Think we should try and run there? We both know that's not logical.
You did the calculations.
We'll make it over.
You're never wrong.
I'm not scared about my math being wrong, just my aim.
I can't see very well, and if I'm off by even an inch when we hit that ramp I know.
That's why I'm standing on the driver's side.
Oh, boy.
I'm scared, too.
Mom always says I'm an indoor cat, and sometimes that bothers me.
It ever bother you? Yeah.
And my dad said a lot worse.
All right, Ralph.
Let's be outdoor cats.
Okay.
But first help me put these water wings on my feet.
Okay.
Hands at ten and two.
Check.
Seat belt on.
Check.
Eyes focused on the ramp.
Check.
Don't tell your mother.
Check.
(engine revving) No! No! (screaming) (panting) (tires screeching) (air hissing) Thought that worked on water contact.
I sweat when nervous.
Okay, that's the last of 'em! (rumbling) Aftershock! Cabe, grab the tires; we'll grab the ladder! (whimpering) (electrical crackling) (woman screams) Help us! Please, help us! (rumbling) (grunting) (rumbling fades) (panting) You okay? Yeah my knee.
I twisted it.
You? Ah I rolled my right ankle.
Get us out of here! Aftershock must've set the van on fire.
We need to get this thing together or those people will die in minutes.
(coughing) Uh, question.
We've got seven minutes until that gas line goes up.
How we gonna make it when we can barely walk? There it is! Guys we can't get to the shut-off valve.
It's locked.
Sly, you have to get in! The gas line's hot, which means the pressure is building up.
If we don't cut off the gas supply, the whole line will blow before we even get under Koreatown.
And we're down here with it.
The lock won't break.
I know.
I'm drenched in sweat and there's not even a dent.
Hold on.
Remember the last time I was sweating? Run to the car and get your life vest and a bottle of water.
We're not gonna make it at this pace.
Yeah, I already did that math.
Okay, hold up.
You know, your left leg's bad and my right hoof's busted? (grunts) If we tie 'em together, then we take a little pressure off each.
Literally joined at the hip.
Eh, more like the thigh and the calf.
Right.
Okay.
I'm very uncomfortable.
You and me both.
Let's go.
(grunts) Okay.
Left right, left But your left is my right.
It's not hard.
Look Okay, no, it's no good.
This is not gonna work.
This is not gonna work.
We need something, uh, with a a cadence, a rhythm, uh, something to walk in unison, like in the military.
I got an idea.
And I hate it.
Please! We can't breathe! All right, back away from the door! We're gonna tip this thing over! Happy, do I let 'er rip? Well, I'm no Sly, but I think my numbers are good.
Wait, wait, hold on.
I think Walter and Toby are saying something.
It might be important.
More than words To show you feel That your love For me is real They have lost it.
HAPPY: Hey, nimrods, you're supposed to vent the gas, not inhale it.
You do your job, we'll do ours.
Speaking of which, time to timber this thing.
CABE: Okay! The tires will insulate you from the electricity! Now move! (coughs) If an aftershock hits while they are on that bridge and they fall Hey, don't even say it.
CABE: Okay, steady.
That's it.
One at a time.
That's it.
HAPPY: Uh, guys, fire's creeping closer to the fuel tank, which means "kaboom.
" That lake is spreading.
If it gets past that last tire, those two people are gonna be stuck out there on the bridge.
Okay, come on, everyone! Pick up the pace! Come on, get away from there, hustle! All right, buddy, you gotta get out of that van! I can't.
I'm gonna fall! You're gonna die if you don't! TOBY (over comms): Wrong.
Listen to me: Everyone knows fight or flight.
But there's a third "F" freezing.
In the face of danger, some instincts believe that no action is better than the wrong action.
Someone's gonna have to go get him.
All right.
I'm on it.
Hey! Sorry! The bridge won't hold both your weights.
I'll go, I'm lighter.
PAIGE: No, no.
L.
A.
needs genius minds today.
I can't risk you going down.
All right, we'll steady the bridge.
Okay, sir we're gonna get you out of here.
What's your name? It's Bryan.
Okay, Bryan.
Bryan, look, don't look out there.
Look at me.
Look at me, okay? If I was able to cross that bridge (coughs) you can, too.
(coughing) CABE: Okay, the damn bridge is surrounded! You guys gotta get out of there! Bryan, is there someone you want to see again? My grandson.
Right, your grandson.
He is not gonna come visit us out here.
And I can't leave until you do, and if we don't go, I die.
I do not want to die! So move your ass now! You can do it.
Okay, Paige, you got to get out of there.
I thought you said two people on the bridge is dangerous.
An exploding van is more dangerous.
Get going.
Uh, the area around the gas tank is on fire.
Come on, get on your feet and run.
Do it! Come on, hurry! Come on! Now! Are you okay? (sighs) I'm starting to miss being a waitress.
SYLVESTER: Okay, I think I've got it set up right on the soldering marks where the chain is weakest.
That's inspired problem solving.
Only if it works.
Get back to where it's safe, all right, buddy? (hissing) (whimpers) It worked! Okay.
(grunting) (panting) It worked.
The valve is shut.
Quick.
Open all the vents.
Whoa, it's unreal that we made it in time.
I don't think we did.
The pressure gauges are at zero.
The gas couldn't have vented that fast already.
(alarm blaring) That sound is bad, right? WALTER: It's the gas detector.
Oh, we're too late.
The aftershock cracked the pipe.
Who cares how the gas vents, as long as the pipe won't explode? Koreatown is saved.
I still get spicy noodle chicken.
Now let's hop along up that manhole ladder before we asphyxiate down here.
Toby, Toby we have a major issue.
Okay the ventilation down here goes east.
Straight to downtown.
That cop's walkie-talkie said downtown's burning.
With the volume in the tunnels, gas moves at four miles per hour.
We have 17 minutes until it reaches under the fires.
Those fires plus this gas equals bye-bye downtown.
Guys, meet us at the corner of Wilshire and Morell ASAP.
You got it.
What's the plan? To save the city, we're gonna light the gas on fire ourselves.
(siren wailing) I'm gonna have to build a super-sized gas flare that can suck the excess gas out of the tunnels like a vacuum, similar to an oil field.
Now, if we do that, then it never reaches downtown.
Happy, we need something that can launch a streamlined projectile.
I can get what I'll need from any Dumpster.
I'm on it.
How the hell are you guys gonna get there in time on foot? TOBY: We're not on foot.
We kind of borrowed a car from someone who was directing traffic when he wasn't looking.
Do I hear sirens? Did you guys steal a cop car? Maybe.
(siren wailing) All right, first things first, we need to build a makeshift chimney.
How about that? Perfect.
Okay, you move it over the manhole.
All right, I'll take care of the crane.
You get the manhole off.
Oh, I didn't think I'd be doing this twice today.
(groans) (manhole cover clattering) Good.
You're aligned.
Yeah.
Little to the right.
Now drop it! Good! Perfect! Perfect! Come on! Come on! TOBY: A broken pool cue and a plastic coat hanger? What the hell is that? An atlatl, an ancient Aztec spear-throwing device.
Marvel of physics.
And I'm gonna chuck the crap out of it.
There's an open four-by-four hatch at the other end of that thing, Cabe, so make it count.
All right.
Kobe from downtown.
(cheering) CABE: Yeah! Yay! All the gas is being sucked from the vent and burned off.
It'll never reach downtown.
They're gonna be looking for that cop car.
You gonna protect a brother? I think they'll understand.
REPORTER: in what experts are calling the worst natural disaster to hit Los Angeles in decades.
Although authorities are saying things could've been substantially worse if a massive gas leak hadn't been handled in dramatic fashion (radio winds down) for three minutes of sound.
Great product.
Oh, what a day.
Even though we were all separated, we were still able to save the city.
Even you two.
Holy crow.
Ralph, I was so worried about you.
I'm so glad you're okay.
I'm glad you're okay, too.
I heard from Toby and Walter you guys had some adventure, a pretty dangerous one, at that.
We had a massive quake.
You took my son into the canyons, drove on dirt roads half-blind near landslides and accidents and you brought him home safe.
Thank you.
Oh, Ralphie? As for you, um you earned this.
I can go kayaking? Well, it's got to be safer than driving with Sylvester, and besides, you're not a typical kid.
I have to stop treating you like one.
Nice work, outdoor cat.
CABE: Hey, Doc, give me a hand with this.
(humming) (knocking on door) Hey, Walter.
Everything all right? Yeah, everything's fine.
Just can't get that stupid song out of my head.
I know what you mean.
It's a classic.
So, I was thinking, um, Paige signed up for a few sessions with Dr.
Rizzuto.
So maybe we should finish them up? It's just, uh, since I was a kid, I, uh I never had many I want to be a good friend and not drive people crazy.
Oh, that's it, I can't take the guilt anymore.
Walter, you didn't do anything.
Truth is, we both know I'm a little self-destructive, and lately I've been on this roll where I love my job, I'm even doing well with the ponies, and I can sabotage myself when I have all that I want.
What is more self-destructive than picking a fight with your boss? Look, man, I've never been happier in my life, and I don't know how to handle that, so I become a pain in the tuchas.
That's on me.
I'm sorry.
Wow.
That's messed up.
Tell me about it.
Maybe going back to Dr.
Rizzuto isn't a bad idea.
Copy that.
Want to go to Kovelsky's? Coffee with hazelnut? You know, I would, I-I just, I'm exhausted from today, so rain check till tomorrow.
Sure thing.
Have a good night.
HAPPY: Really, Doc? You've really never been happier? God as my witness, I'm not gonna do anything to ruin this.
I run a team of geniuses who handle worldwide threats only we can solve.
Sylvester is a human calculator.
Happy's a mechanical prodigy.
And Toby is our behaviorist.
Agent Cabe Gallo is our government handler.
And Paige helps translates the world for us while we help her understand her genius son.
Though sometimes our biggest challenge is understanding each other.
Together, we are Scorpion.
(chuckles): Come on, Toby.
This is hazelnut creamer.
And that's a table.
And that's a chair.
I'm pretty good at this game.
You wrote âhazelnutâ in front of creamer again on the grocery list.
I hate hazelnut.
People like flavored creamers.
âCreamerâ is a flavor.
And you could've just written a different item under it.
You could just relax.
Don't be such a creamer-screamer.
I'm not screaming.
Though I could very easily, if you don't stop that nonsense you've been pulling.
Really? Yes.
Absolutely.
Okay, okay.
This has got to end.
What does? You two fighting.
Constantly lately.
It's driving everyone nuts.
CABE: He's right.
You two argue like an old married couple.
He's intentionally antagonistic.
Actually I'm half antagonistic, on my mother's side.
But my father Over the past weeks, your antics have gone from petty annoyance to overtly combative.
Objection.
Inflammatory.
Overruled.
Objection.
You can't make that call.
You two are sweet on each other.
BOTH: Objection! Okay, if we're going to play kangaroo court, I have to go out of pocket to sweeten my java because all we normally we have here is regular creamer.
That honey is from Kovelsky's.
It's free.
Immaterial.
You know what? You both suck.
Your bickering is making everyone miserable.
Copy that.
You're being sentenced to couples therapy.
Awesome.
What? No.
I'm with jerk-face.
Well, too bad.
I manage this ball club and I've noticed things escalating for a while, so I did some research.
Dr.
Cecil P.
Rizzuto.
Yes, he specializes in business partners I'm getting you in this morning while Happy, Cabe and I prepare for our pitch to Hudler Motors.
But No buts.
You heard the judge.
Thank you.
(Paige typing) Good job, Mom.
Fair but stern.
I might not be a genius, but I can still tell when you want something.
A permission slip, so I can go with my college class on a kayak trip along the Channel Islands.
Kayaking in the ocean? No.
It's for my marine biology class.
Is the professor going? No.
I'm not letting you go without adult supervision.
Some of the students are 19.
Real adults.
Sorry.
And no means no.
Uh, totally agree with your stance on watercraft danger, but if Ralph doesn't partake in the field study, his grades will suffer.
I can take him to the tide pools.
He can explore indigenous sea life.
Bus goes right up the PCH.
Malibu's far and the rocks by the tide pools are sharp and slippery.
Well, he'll be with me.
Yeah no, I don't think so.
HAPPY: Maybe you can roll Ralph in bubble wrap before he goes.
Mother's only one S from Smother.
Let the kid be a boy.
We're raising a nation of pansies, for Pete's sake.
Fine.
Okay.
You can go.
Sylvester.
Uh-huh? But he is your responsibility, so if he gets hurt, cut, so much as a hair out of place, you will not like me very much.
Not sure I like you very much right now.
Good.
We'll take my car.
That heap? I'm taking my own sled.
Well, two cars are economically and environmentally inefficient, but still preferable to riding with you.
God help that therapist.
(sighs) (gulls screeching, surf crashing) Okay, the first thing I want to do in the ocean is take some samples.
Whoa.
Pull the reins, buddy.
No one's going into the ocean.
You're hitting the tide pools, and then that's it.
But we're right here.
Ralph the ocean's the world's toilet.
You want to stay out of toilets.
You also want to stay safe, so here, put these on.
Water wings? I'm only going in a quarter-inch can't hurt me.
But your mom can hurt me.
Besides, you can never be too prepared.
See I'm wearing a state-of-the-art life vest underneath my shirt.
It's paper-flat but inflates in seconds when exposed to water.
I got you one.
Here.
No.
Why not? Happy made it for me with tech similar to the airbags she's presenting today.
Why? Because she loves me.
Like a brother.
I used the same tech for a life vest I made for a lunatic I work with.
Just one of the many applications for this product.
When talking to the heads of the Hudler Motors, try not to refer to our coworkers as lunatics.
Yeah, so in short, we appreciate Hudler Motors' interest, and if you decide to go with a standard engineering firm for your new airbags well, that is stupid.
Food for thought instead of, uh, saying that to the people who might hire us, how about you stress âthis device comes with the brainpower of four geniuses behind it and no one else can match thatâ? Sounds like we're begging.
CABE: You are.
It's called getting business.
You're letting them know they're working with top professionals.
I'd be Zack Morris, Cabe is Mr.
Belding, Paige is Kelly and Sylvester's Screech.
Now let's do What's Happening? You're Rog, Happy's Dee Why do I feel like you're intentionally trying to annoy me? See, that's such a Rog thing to say.
Hello? (speaking Cantonese) Uh, sorry we're looking for, uh, Dr.
Cecil Rizzuto.
(speaking Cantonese) Did he move offices? There's a door sign.
Any English at all? (speaking Cantonese) Okay, we're done here.
See how hard it is to communicate when we're not speaking the same language? So you're the therapist? You're learning already, grasshopper.
Grab some couch.
Ms.
Dineen told me about your issues.
(Walter chuckling) Another language that speaks volumes is body language.
What does my body language tell you about me? From your glutteral lean, it says you have hemorrhoids.
Correct.
That's perfectly natural.
I'm not embarrassed.
But it also shows that I am open and sharing.
Where'd you get your degree, Doctor? I have a BS from Plimpton Internet University in, uh, Conflict Resolution, and I'm working toward an online Masters in People Studies.
I'm gonna kill Paige.
(gasps) Dear God, going in there should be a challenge on Survivor.
Can we get to the beach already? Yes.
First we need to sunscreen up.
And then you'll be ready (phone beeping) Hold on.
Oh, boy.
A message from the SoCal Office of Emergency Personnel.
Why do you get it? I signed up for alerts.
It's prudent to be Holy smokes! A 7.
8 quake just struck the bottom of the San Andreas at Conejo Pass.
Okay, based on the underlying bedrock of the pass, the quake could either brake right, dissipating in the desert, or veer left along the fault, which gives the rest of L.
A.
30 seconds until I need to reach out to the others! Okay, Ralph, we gotta get out from underneath these trees.
Everyone! There's an earthquake coming! It's coming for you! Okay, in between those two cars.
Let's go.
(rumbling) (car alarms blaring) It's coming.
Get down! (people shouting, screaming) (grunting) Okay, now that we worked on your presentation, let's talk about your presentation.
What's wrong with my clothes? You look like you just got off a motorcycle.
I did just get off a motorcycle.
(cell phones chiming, ringing, buzzing) âThe big one's comingâ? I just got the same thing.
What is Sly talking about? (rumbling) Everyone, drop, cover, hold on.
BOTH: What would you do If my heart was If you can harmonize âMore Than Wordsâ together, then you can have harmony together.
Sing it out.
Pull the laces.
(rumbling) Show you feel Get down.
Get down! Walter, I don't want my last act on earth to be singing a Capella with you.
Holy crap.
(rumbling, glass shattering) (rumbling fades, car alarms blaring) (grunting) Well, that was a minimum 7.
5.
I think our session's over, Walt.
Is everyone all right? PAIGE: Yeah.
I have to call Ralph.
The line's dead.
It's not working.
Uh, network overload.
Same thing happened on 9/11.
Combination of infrastructure damage and millions trying to use the same system simultaneously.
Okay, I still have to know if my son is okay.
There's still a chance.
Take out your comms.
On the back, there's a hole.
Reset the comm by pressing the hole.
What the hell are we doing? Connecting to a backup frequency Sly designed.
The comms run on microwaves.
Uh, the signal is inconsistent at best, but better than nothing.
Why'd he want to do something like that? Earthquakes, wildfires, mudslides, flash floods Southern California is biblical.
The only thing that's missing are locusts.
Hence a back-up comm system.
Now, if I could only find my glasses so I could do mine.
(crunching) Oh, man.
I can hardly see anything without these on.
(sighs) Ralph, can you activate my comm for me? Thank you.
Ralph, Sylvester? Can you hear me? Mom! It's me.
Are you okay? (sighs) Yeah, fine, sweetheart.
I'm just so glad to hear your voice.
Are you guys okay? Yes.
We both are.
Yeah, we are, too.
(indistinct chatter, car alarms wailing) Can't say the same for our city.
I didn't think L.
A.
could possibly get worse.
All right, the best plan is for us all to get back to the garage and assess any damage done to our equipment.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
That's not good.
Look out.
Look out.
Look out.
All right, I think that's the last of it.
We're safe now.
(over radio): Eastbound ramp at the 710 and 5 freeway's down.
All emergency personnel.
Reports of multiple building collapse in Rialto.
Requesting firefighter backup downtown.
Repeat: several blocks downtown are in flames.
Oh, this is as bad as it gets.
No, it's going to get much worse.
Now, the water pipe explosions occurred after the earthquake, when there was no shake.
That means they blew up from pressure build-up.
Which means the water pipes are pinched off somewhere further up the line to cause that build-up.
Don't the water and gas lines run parallel to each other in L.
A.
? HAPPY: Uh, yes.
I've read up on how it was an engineering marvel when designed.
It ran utilities all the way out to Vegas.
Bad news is, the pipes go through a meter station under Koreatown if the pipes are pinched off Then the gas pressure is building up as we speak.
We're talking about A potential megaton blast.
That's more than an A-bomb.
Right under everyone in Koreatown.
(siren wailing) Walter, we're talking mucho lives here! We got to figure out how to warn people! Okay, all communications are down.
Even emergency channels so, time? The comm signal isn't great, but I think you asked for a timing? Assuming the gas line was compromised right when the quake hit, and given the PSI of a large-diameter municipal pipe, we're looking at 35 minutes tops! Yeah, but the gas companies have automatic shut-off censors, right? TOBY: Their headquarters are outside Rialto.
We just heard there's substantial building collapse in that area.
If the gas company's fail-safes are compromised, then the gas buildup continues unabated.
And from the Old Faithfuls we're looking at here, that's the case.
Walter, you doing this for dramatic effect, or are you actually thinking? Happy, if water's overflowing a bathtub, and the tub might crash through the floor, now, what do you do first? Do you empty the tub or do you shut off the water? Shut the water, then empty the tub.
Exactly! And right now, the pressure's too high.
It's going to explode as the gas expands in the pipe.
So long as more gas is being fed into that pipe, it's just gonna make the pipe blow sooner.
WALTER: Correct.
Now, Sly, you're close to the Malibu Hills.
There is a fire road in Murphy Canyon that I used to hike with Megan.
Now, there's a cut-off station for the over-ground portion of the line, in case of wildfires.
Now, you need to cut off that gas feed while we get to the meter station under Koreatown, to vent it before it detonates.
It's so funny, that sounded like you said we're heading towards the danger.
It won't explode if we get there in time.
And if we don't, we'll just be right on top of it! No, we'll be right next to it! Come on.
Now, the surface streets are gonna be flooded with emergency vehicles, debris, collapsed roads the most efficient means of transport is underground! What's with the breath analyzer? Operates on the same tech as gas detectors.
Small tweak and we'll know if we're heading toward danger.
Oh, I already know that we're heading towards danger.
Everyone set your watches for a 34-minute countdown.
Happy, you need to try to meet up with us.
I might need your help with the pipe system mechanics.
Heading to the car now.
We'll be there as soon as we can.
MAN: Help! WOMAN: Help! MAN 2: Get us out of here! MAN: Help! CABE: Oh, man.
Uh, scratch that, Walt.
We're not gonna get there any time soon.
The water is electrified! We're trapped! It's all right, just stay there! Stay calm! We can get you out of there! We can get them out of there, right? If we can, we better do it fast.
There's no way to stop that busted main without the water company's help.
And there's no way to contact them.
And once that electrified water gets high enough to touch the bottom of the van A giant bathtub and the van's the toaster.
Bingo.
Rubber tires are the only thing keeping them alive.
That's the solution tires! (electricity popping and crackling) (muttering): Uh, 22, 22 feet.
Right here! What are you doing? Geometry.
Okay, guys grab a bunch of tires from the garage and stack them on this X! Hurry! We have no way to get to the gas cutoff and the clock is ticking.
What about that? The lifeguard ran off to help somebody.
I don't know when he's gonna be back.
Keys are in the ignition.
That's stealing.
Besides, I can barely drive when I have sight.
I won't be able to see where I'm going! No, but I will.
Turn left, hard! (tires screech) Everything's blurry! Straighten! I want to slow down.
These are dangerous canyon roads! We have to go 27 miles uphill.
We can't go slower than 50 if we're gonna get this done in time! Go faster! I told your mother I'd keep you safe! What was that?! What are you doing that's unsafe? I'm removing my comms, Mom.
Sylvester can't see, so we can't have distractions when driving.
What?! Ralph? Sylvester?! I'd take my comms out, too, if I we're you.
She sounded mad.
Oh, God, I am a dead man.
Hey, I should really hold that flashlight.
Steady surgeon hands.
You are a psychiatrist.
General Surgery rotation, Mass General.
Neurosurgery sub-internship, Harvard.
Here.
Solenopsis Invicta.
What? Brazilian fire ants that invaded SoCal decades ago in a shipment of plums.
Cracked water pipes must've flooded their nests, so they formed a living raft to protect the colony.
Well, I hope that's not a problem, 'cause the pipes go down to a sublevel now, how much do you want to bet that that's the hatch that we need to get to under those thousands of ants? $1,800? I'm a gambling addict.
But you'd never live to pay me, 'cause their bites carry a 25% chance of vomiting, disorientation or anaphylactic shock.
A thousand bites jacks up those odds tremendously.
Okay, uh, so what do we do now? CABE: Are you kidding me? Two geniuses getting bested by insects.
You've got a pocket full of honey, Doc.
If I can figure it out, so can you.
He's right! Kovelsky's to the rescue.
The water's getting higher and that out-of-control wire is gonna end up hitting the van! Uh, a few more minutes! We're on top of this! We're trained professionals! How you doing with the tires? It's getting pretty tall.
We're gonna need to get the ladders from the garage.
Hey, hey! Hey, man! I'm right here! Better slow down.
MAN: Right here! What's that blurry thing up ahead? Hey, hey, hey Someone's in trouble.
Slow down! Hey, hey Help me, please! We were sightseeing when the quake hit! She's stuck in there! If a bad aftershock hits next to this cliff, she could be buried alive.
We need to get her out.
It's pressing against my leg! I have an idea, but we have to be fast or we'll never make it to the gas line in time.
You're gonna listen to a kid? Well, he's not a regular kid.
Come on, you stupid bugs.
For the record, if not for my desire for plain creamer, you wouldn't have had honey in your pocket and we wouldn't have solved this, so Are you seriously taking credit for this? Just open the hatch.
Though I doubt your ego's gonna fit through the opening.
Excuse me? Hmm? Okay, now that we've got our skewer in place, we just need to finish this "tire-kebab.
" CABE: Uh-oh! We got oil dripping into the electrified water! Oil? Happy, if enough oil collects, it will catch fire, and those people will choke out from smoke.
Or blow up if the flames reach the fuel tank.
Rate it's pouring out, I'd say we've got about a minute before the van's engulfed in fumes or fire.
We can't leave them on there and we can't get them off there.
How the hell are we gonna save these people? All right, everybody to the back! Get away from the engine! Huddle up near the rear windows.
Happy, did you hear what Cabe just said? Hell, can you even hear me? Barely the comms aren't working great.
Do you have an idea? He said "huddle up.
" Just like the ants huddled up on the water as the levels rose.
You need to raise the water level.
Yes.
Once the water reaches where the oil leak is coming from, it will suffocate potential flames, because you can't have fire without oxyken, and there is no oxygen underwater! You just stole my idea.
I finished your thought in an easy-to-follow way.
What is wrong with you today? Hold on, once the water reaches the wheel rim, won't the whole van be electrified? As long as they don't touch anything metal, they're safe.
But if we kill the fire risk by trapping them in an electrified box, how does that help? One crisis at a time.
Doc, we're going with your idea.
See? My idea.
And how do we raise the water level? It's not like we can make a busted pipe flow faster.
Like my grandad used to say, "You you can't raise the river, lower the boat.
" Oh, here we go.
All right, back away and don't touch anything metal! The van's going into the water it's working! All right we gotta get the rest of those tires.
(gasping, groaning) God, still nothing from 911! Rescue crews are inundated with high-priority targets.
Even if you could get through, a low-volume rescue couldn't be prioritized.
A little to the left for the best mechanical advantage.
Are you sure he knows what he's doing? Absolutely.
He's first in his class.
Where elementary school? Actually, Caltech and elementary school.
Okay, Ralph, we're ready.
I'm gonna start pushing up on the dash, okay? (shouts, grunting) That's normal pain associated with the release of pressure.
I can't.
SYLVESTER: Get out of there.
Her pants are caught on metal.
I know what to do.
Ralph, get out of there! I need to cut her pants.
This jack is meant to nestle on a steel car frame! Not underneath a plastic dash with a thousand-pound pine on top! I'll be fast.
(woman screams) Ralph, the jack is beginning to give out! Hurry! She's clear! Ah! Ralph, it's starting to buckle! Hurry! (metal creaking) Ralph! Present.
Oh (gasping) Thank you.
SYLVESTER: I can tell by your stance that your leg is bruised, but not broken.
Your husband can take you down to PCH and help you flag a ride.
Okay.
Take care of yourselves.
Sylvester we have a lot of time to make up.
But how are we going to do that with a huge tree blocking the way? Okay, Toby, angle the light higher up ahead.
Aw, it's too bad I have the light now No, no.
I see something.
Oh, come on! Part of the ceiling collapsed.
Rays of light are getting through to the other side.
Rest of the tunnel's still intact.
Okay.
So we just push our way past.
No, Toby.
Toby, stop.
That rubble is holding up the rest of a seismically induced cave-in.
You move the wrong rock, and rest of the ceiling could collapse on us.
Okay, so what's your plan? Calculating approximate weight and density of the rocks, based on the size and the position in relation to the pieces around it, so If we can avoid the load-bearing stones, then we can bring down half of the wall without being buried alive.
So let's start with that that rock, right in front of you.
Where the light is.
Yep.
(grunts) See? Man, you love being right, don't you? Okay, the, uh, the-the brown one.
(sniffs) I'm sorry.
Huh? WALTER: For whatever I did that made you so mad at me.
I mean, I know I have relationship problems.
I barely speak to my parents; I can't date a woman for more than a few months.
But I-I I do try to be a cognizant friend to you, to Happy, Sly 'cause we're supposed to understand each other.
Okay.
That flat rock, right in front of you.
Yeah, sure thing.
But if I'm making you so upset to where you're arguing with me about minutia, and I don't even know what I'm doing wrong, then I'm not making as much progress as what I thought.
It's disheartening.
Should squeeze through.
(grunts) Come on.
Think we should try and run there? We both know that's not logical.
You did the calculations.
We'll make it over.
You're never wrong.
I'm not scared about my math being wrong, just my aim.
I can't see very well, and if I'm off by even an inch when we hit that ramp I know.
That's why I'm standing on the driver's side.
Oh, boy.
I'm scared, too.
Mom always says I'm an indoor cat, and sometimes that bothers me.
It ever bother you? Yeah.
And my dad said a lot worse.
All right, Ralph.
Let's be outdoor cats.
Okay.
But first help me put these water wings on my feet.
Okay.
Hands at ten and two.
Check.
Seat belt on.
Check.
Eyes focused on the ramp.
Check.
Don't tell your mother.
Check.
(engine revving) No! No! (screaming) (panting) (tires screeching) (air hissing) Thought that worked on water contact.
I sweat when nervous.
Okay, that's the last of 'em! (rumbling) Aftershock! Cabe, grab the tires; we'll grab the ladder! (whimpering) (electrical crackling) (woman screams) Help us! Please, help us! (rumbling) (grunting) (rumbling fades) (panting) You okay? Yeah my knee.
I twisted it.
You? Ah I rolled my right ankle.
Get us out of here! Aftershock must've set the van on fire.
We need to get this thing together or those people will die in minutes.
(coughing) Uh, question.
We've got seven minutes until that gas line goes up.
How we gonna make it when we can barely walk? There it is! Guys we can't get to the shut-off valve.
It's locked.
Sly, you have to get in! The gas line's hot, which means the pressure is building up.
If we don't cut off the gas supply, the whole line will blow before we even get under Koreatown.
And we're down here with it.
The lock won't break.
I know.
I'm drenched in sweat and there's not even a dent.
Hold on.
Remember the last time I was sweating? Run to the car and get your life vest and a bottle of water.
We're not gonna make it at this pace.
Yeah, I already did that math.
Okay, hold up.
You know, your left leg's bad and my right hoof's busted? (grunts) If we tie 'em together, then we take a little pressure off each.
Literally joined at the hip.
Eh, more like the thigh and the calf.
Right.
Okay.
I'm very uncomfortable.
You and me both.
Let's go.
(grunts) Okay.
Left right, left But your left is my right.
It's not hard.
Look Okay, no, it's no good.
This is not gonna work.
This is not gonna work.
We need something, uh, with a a cadence, a rhythm, uh, something to walk in unison, like in the military.
I got an idea.
And I hate it.
Please! We can't breathe! All right, back away from the door! We're gonna tip this thing over! Happy, do I let 'er rip? Well, I'm no Sly, but I think my numbers are good.
Wait, wait, hold on.
I think Walter and Toby are saying something.
It might be important.
More than words To show you feel That your love For me is real They have lost it.
HAPPY: Hey, nimrods, you're supposed to vent the gas, not inhale it.
You do your job, we'll do ours.
Speaking of which, time to timber this thing.
CABE: Okay! The tires will insulate you from the electricity! Now move! (coughs) If an aftershock hits while they are on that bridge and they fall Hey, don't even say it.
CABE: Okay, steady.
That's it.
One at a time.
That's it.
HAPPY: Uh, guys, fire's creeping closer to the fuel tank, which means "kaboom.
" That lake is spreading.
If it gets past that last tire, those two people are gonna be stuck out there on the bridge.
Okay, come on, everyone! Pick up the pace! Come on, get away from there, hustle! All right, buddy, you gotta get out of that van! I can't.
I'm gonna fall! You're gonna die if you don't! TOBY (over comms): Wrong.
Listen to me: Everyone knows fight or flight.
But there's a third "F" freezing.
In the face of danger, some instincts believe that no action is better than the wrong action.
Someone's gonna have to go get him.
All right.
I'm on it.
Hey! Sorry! The bridge won't hold both your weights.
I'll go, I'm lighter.
PAIGE: No, no.
L.
A.
needs genius minds today.
I can't risk you going down.
All right, we'll steady the bridge.
Okay, sir we're gonna get you out of here.
What's your name? It's Bryan.
Okay, Bryan.
Bryan, look, don't look out there.
Look at me.
Look at me, okay? If I was able to cross that bridge (coughs) you can, too.
(coughing) CABE: Okay, the damn bridge is surrounded! You guys gotta get out of there! Bryan, is there someone you want to see again? My grandson.
Right, your grandson.
He is not gonna come visit us out here.
And I can't leave until you do, and if we don't go, I die.
I do not want to die! So move your ass now! You can do it.
Okay, Paige, you got to get out of there.
I thought you said two people on the bridge is dangerous.
An exploding van is more dangerous.
Get going.
Uh, the area around the gas tank is on fire.
Come on, get on your feet and run.
Do it! Come on, hurry! Come on! Now! Are you okay? (sighs) I'm starting to miss being a waitress.
SYLVESTER: Okay, I think I've got it set up right on the soldering marks where the chain is weakest.
That's inspired problem solving.
Only if it works.
Get back to where it's safe, all right, buddy? (hissing) (whimpers) It worked! Okay.
(grunting) (panting) It worked.
The valve is shut.
Quick.
Open all the vents.
Whoa, it's unreal that we made it in time.
I don't think we did.
The pressure gauges are at zero.
The gas couldn't have vented that fast already.
(alarm blaring) That sound is bad, right? WALTER: It's the gas detector.
Oh, we're too late.
The aftershock cracked the pipe.
Who cares how the gas vents, as long as the pipe won't explode? Koreatown is saved.
I still get spicy noodle chicken.
Now let's hop along up that manhole ladder before we asphyxiate down here.
Toby, Toby we have a major issue.
Okay the ventilation down here goes east.
Straight to downtown.
That cop's walkie-talkie said downtown's burning.
With the volume in the tunnels, gas moves at four miles per hour.
We have 17 minutes until it reaches under the fires.
Those fires plus this gas equals bye-bye downtown.
Guys, meet us at the corner of Wilshire and Morell ASAP.
You got it.
What's the plan? To save the city, we're gonna light the gas on fire ourselves.
(siren wailing) I'm gonna have to build a super-sized gas flare that can suck the excess gas out of the tunnels like a vacuum, similar to an oil field.
Now, if we do that, then it never reaches downtown.
Happy, we need something that can launch a streamlined projectile.
I can get what I'll need from any Dumpster.
I'm on it.
How the hell are you guys gonna get there in time on foot? TOBY: We're not on foot.
We kind of borrowed a car from someone who was directing traffic when he wasn't looking.
Do I hear sirens? Did you guys steal a cop car? Maybe.
(siren wailing) All right, first things first, we need to build a makeshift chimney.
How about that? Perfect.
Okay, you move it over the manhole.
All right, I'll take care of the crane.
You get the manhole off.
Oh, I didn't think I'd be doing this twice today.
(groans) (manhole cover clattering) Good.
You're aligned.
Yeah.
Little to the right.
Now drop it! Good! Perfect! Perfect! Come on! Come on! TOBY: A broken pool cue and a plastic coat hanger? What the hell is that? An atlatl, an ancient Aztec spear-throwing device.
Marvel of physics.
And I'm gonna chuck the crap out of it.
There's an open four-by-four hatch at the other end of that thing, Cabe, so make it count.
All right.
Kobe from downtown.
(cheering) CABE: Yeah! Yay! All the gas is being sucked from the vent and burned off.
It'll never reach downtown.
They're gonna be looking for that cop car.
You gonna protect a brother? I think they'll understand.
REPORTER: in what experts are calling the worst natural disaster to hit Los Angeles in decades.
Although authorities are saying things could've been substantially worse if a massive gas leak hadn't been handled in dramatic fashion (radio winds down) for three minutes of sound.
Great product.
Oh, what a day.
Even though we were all separated, we were still able to save the city.
Even you two.
Holy crow.
Ralph, I was so worried about you.
I'm so glad you're okay.
I'm glad you're okay, too.
I heard from Toby and Walter you guys had some adventure, a pretty dangerous one, at that.
We had a massive quake.
You took my son into the canyons, drove on dirt roads half-blind near landslides and accidents and you brought him home safe.
Thank you.
Oh, Ralphie? As for you, um you earned this.
I can go kayaking? Well, it's got to be safer than driving with Sylvester, and besides, you're not a typical kid.
I have to stop treating you like one.
Nice work, outdoor cat.
CABE: Hey, Doc, give me a hand with this.
(humming) (knocking on door) Hey, Walter.
Everything all right? Yeah, everything's fine.
Just can't get that stupid song out of my head.
I know what you mean.
It's a classic.
So, I was thinking, um, Paige signed up for a few sessions with Dr.
Rizzuto.
So maybe we should finish them up? It's just, uh, since I was a kid, I, uh I never had many I want to be a good friend and not drive people crazy.
Oh, that's it, I can't take the guilt anymore.
Walter, you didn't do anything.
Truth is, we both know I'm a little self-destructive, and lately I've been on this roll where I love my job, I'm even doing well with the ponies, and I can sabotage myself when I have all that I want.
What is more self-destructive than picking a fight with your boss? Look, man, I've never been happier in my life, and I don't know how to handle that, so I become a pain in the tuchas.
That's on me.
I'm sorry.
Wow.
That's messed up.
Tell me about it.
Maybe going back to Dr.
Rizzuto isn't a bad idea.
Copy that.
Want to go to Kovelsky's? Coffee with hazelnut? You know, I would, I-I just, I'm exhausted from today, so rain check till tomorrow.
Sure thing.
Have a good night.
HAPPY: Really, Doc? You've really never been happier? God as my witness, I'm not gonna do anything to ruin this.