The Proud Family (2001) s02e16 Episode Script

(wind whistling)
(laughter and chatter)
(singing in Spanish)
It was a bright and sunny day ♪
A lovely day to play ♪
(laughter)
Hey!
(laughing)
Hey! Ow!
That's not funny,
Frankie. Let go!
Ow! Let my head go!
(in Spanish) Then all of a sudden
A strange wind blew ♪
But it wasn't any ordinary wind
It was the wind of a myth ♪
The legend
Half man and half amazing ♪
It's Johnny Lovely
Johnny Lovely ♪
This is the story of
Johnny Lovely ♪
(singing stops)
The Proud Family ♪
What? You and me
will always be tight ♪
Family, every single day
and night ♪
Even when you start
acting like a fool ♪
You know I'm loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
Around you more
than anybody else ♪
And every day
as I'm heading off to school♪
You know there's no one
I love as much as you ♪
Family, a family ♪
Proud Family ♪
They'll make you scream ♪
-(doorbell rings)
-They make you want to sing♪
It's a family thing,
a family ♪
Proud, Proud Family,
Proud Family ♪
They'll push your buttons ♪
And make you want
to hug them ♪
Family, a family, ♪
Proud, Proud Family ♪
(singing in Spanish)
The winds blew from the east ♪
They blew from the west ♪
They blew up a big gray mess ♪
(laughing)
(Penny)
Please, Mama.
I don't want to be in that
stupid Junior Debutante Ball.
Why wouldn't you, Penny?
It's demeaning to women.
No self-respecting girl
would ever subject herself
to the humiliation
of a debutante ball.
I was a debutante.
Well, except you, Mom,
because you're the nicest,
coolest, smartest mom
who would never force her
daughter
to do something
she didn't believe in.
Nice try, Penny.
You're going
to be a debutante
no matter how much
it demeans you.
Now, go get ready
for rehearsal.
(shrieks)
Whoo-ooh!
Sure is windy outside. Mm.
Suga Mama, tell Mama
I don't want to be in
that debutante ball.
Why not, baby?
You only get to be
a debutante one time, Penny.
I remember my coming-out party.
Yeah, it was called
Groundhog Day.
Too bad you didn't
see your shadow. Ha-ha!
No. Too bad I had you,
Punxsutawney Phil.
(yells)
Daddy, tell Mom I don't want
to go. It's not fair.
Trudy, we cannot
make her do something
she doesn't want to do.
Besides, I don't want her to dance
with any boys anyway.
Look, Oscar, we already paid
the $500, and she's going.
F Five hundred dollars?!
You better get my money back.
First of all,
it wasn't your money
and second, it's nonrefundable.
Nonrefundable?
Sorry, baby girl, you're going.
For $500, you better dance
with every boy there,
plus bring home some food.
Oh, cheer up, baby.
You're going to have a
wonderful time. You'll see.
And tomorrow, we'll start
looking for your dress.
Can't wait.
(singing in Spanish)
I know of a sad-faced little girl ♪
With beautiful eyes
who is in ♪
For a
handsome surprise ♪
A lad known as
Johnny Lovely ♪
(lively chatter)
(low voice)
Okay, children, quiet now.
We must get started.
(lively chatter continues)
Quiet!
Thank you.
Okay, let's pal.
No need to pair me off,
Miss Hightower.
I'm already tied
to my man, Sticky.
Oh, no, you're not.
Ow!
Dijonay!
Will you please return to the girls' side
of the room, Miss Jones?
Thank you.
OK, when I point to you,
you will stand front and center.
Girl, boy.
Hey, it was destiny, child.
Man, dang!
Girl, boy, girl, boy, girl
Oh, my. We're out of boys.
That's okay, Miss Hightower.
Just give me my $500 back
and I'm out of here.
Like I told your father 40 times
on the phone today:
(powerful voice)
It's nonrefundable.
-(door opens)
-Sorry I'm late.
Is this a debutante rehearsal?
-(Kids) Wow.
-Yes, it is.
Tardiness will not
be tolerated, young man.
(Zoey)
I saw him first.
What is your name?
It's Johnny. Johnny Lovely.
Johnny Lovely.
I don't see your name on the list.
Are you sure?
Look again.
Well, what
do you know?
It's right here.
Okay, stand next to Miss Proud.
-You will be her escort.
-(gasps)
Okay, people,
the ball is right around the corner
and you have a lot to learn
in a short amount of time.
Hi, I'm Johnny.
Johnny Lovely.
-Oh, really?
-I'm Penny, Penny Proud.
And I'm yours.
Dijonay. Yours.
(lively chatter)
Children.
Quiet!!
Now, escorts,
when you approach the table
with your debutante,
what is the first thing you do?
Um grab the seat closest
to the bread and butter?
-(laughter)
-No, Omar.
Anyone else?
Oh. Oh, I know.
Stuff your napkin
in the front of your shirt.
(all laughing)
No, that's not it.
Now, calm down, please.
Settle down, people.
Quiet, you Neanderthals!!
Thank you.
Anyone else?
Master Lovely.
You pull out the lady's chair
before taking your seat.
That is correct, Master Lovely.
Now, let's
everyone try it.
Okay, gentlemen,
now pull the chairs out.
That's it.
Look, Johnny Come-Lately.
It's the 21st Century.
I can pull out my own seat, OK?
Thank you.
Now, ladies sit.
(girls shriek)
(boys laughing)
Okay, we finally made it
to the fun part.
What? We get to go home?
No, Master Webb.
You get to dance!
(cheering)
I don't wanna dance
with nobody.
Let's start a Soul Train line.
I'll go first.
No, no, no.
You will learn
the dance of the aristocracy.
The dance of royalty.
The electric slide?
No! The waltz,
-You, you
-Oh, man, not the waltz.
Now, would anyone
like to demonstrate?
(clearing throat)
No. Johnny, what are you doing?
Come on, it's easy, Penny.
Look, I'll lead.
All you have to do is follow.
I don't want to follow anybody,
especially a boy I don't know.
Fine, then we'll follow each other.
(gasps)
(waltz music plays)
(giggling)
(grunts)
Now, before you begin to dance,
the debutantes will curtsey,
and the escorts will respond
with a graceful, flowing bow.
I'm not curtseying to you.
-Why?
-'Cause it signifies subservience.
Or courtesy.
(sighing)
-Oh, man.
-Dude.
(applause)
That was wonderful.
That was beautiful.
The rest of you boys need to follow
the example of Master Lovely.
That was simply lovely,
Master Lovely.
Well, that's all for today.
See you next week.
Thank you, Penny.
You are a very good dancer.
I'm honored
to be your escort.
Well, I'm honored that,
uh you're escorting me.
I'll see you around.
Yeah, see you around.
(gasps)
Wow.
(girls giggling)
Oh, girl, what was it like?
What was what like?
To float around the dance floor
like a princess.
Oh, it must
have been wonderful.
I could care less
about Johnny Lovely.
Fine, we can switch.
I'll take Johnny,
and you can have Omar.
(Omar laughing)
Hey, where'd she go?
(singing in Spanish)
Johnny Lovely blew onto the scene ♪
Mistrusted by boys
But loved by all the girls ♪
All but one ♪
(laughing)
(shrieking)
Watch out!
-(screams)
-I can't stop!
Watch out!
Incoming!
(Zoey gasps)
(sighs)
Yo, Frankie, check out your boy.
That chump ain't my boy.
Watch this.
Gimme that dog, dawg.
Hey, that's my dog, dawg.
(Frankie laughing)
That wasn't funny, Frankie.
Yeah, that was
messed up, man.
Look what you did.
I'm sorry, Johnny.
Did he hurt you?
No, I'm okay.
Let me dry you off.
That's okay. I'm fine.
Yes, you are.
Ladies, please allow me the honor
of replacing your drinks.
(Girls)
Thank you, Johnny.
He's so smooth.
Papi Chu-lelo!
Penny, I'll trade you Sticky
and a first-round draft pick
to be named later.
Y'all can have him if you want him.
I'm not impressed
by Johnny Lovely.
His name should be Johnny Baloney.
All that baloney needs
is a little Dijonay,
and he'll be just fine. Hey.
So what are you doing
with all those drinks, Lovely?
I'm taking them to my friends.
Well, we're your friends, aren't we?
I mean, you wouldn't mind
if we took these drinks, would you?
No, I don't mind.
Help yourselves. I can get more.
Yo, Lovely,
you get me a double
cheeseburger, please?
Shut up, Omar!
You weird, Lovely,
you know that?
You weird.
(Man) There you go, kid.
Okay, drinks for everybody.
(All)
Thank you, Johnny.
Penny, I've got a drink for you, too.
Save the nice-boy act, Johnny.
What's the deal?
What are you talking about?
Why are you doing this?
Pulling out chairs, waltzing,
buying sodas, saving people.
It's the 21st Century.
Nobody acts like that anymore.
I'm just being polite.
Like I said,
nobody acts like that anymore.
If you haven't heard,
women are free to do for themselves.
Haven't you ever heard of Oprah,
Janet Jackson,
J-Lo, Kim Possible?
I'm sorry, but this is just
the way I was raised.
Who would raise you like that?
My mom.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it the way that sounded.
Come on. Let's skate.
Come on, Johnny,
I skate with you!
Okay.
-(dance music plays)
-Ooh, that's my jam.
(yells)
(laughing)
(all laughing)
(all giggling)
-Ow!
-(all yelling)
I guess you lost
your balance, Lovely.
(boys laugh)
That wasn't funny, Frankie!
Yeah, you could have hurt us!
Instead of hating on Johnny,
you need to more like him
and learn some manners.
(Penny)
Johnny!
(boys laughing)
I guess I'll never be like Johnny.
I can't run that fast.
Hey, check this out.
Dang. He has a list
of all the girls' names
with their addresses
and phone numbers.
So what, Sticky?
What's the big deal?
Nothing. Except he has three stars
next to your name.
What?
(laughing)
(singing in Spanish)
Everyone was mad the next day ♪
When they came to
The Proud Family House ♪
They showed the note
That Johnny left as he was leaving ♪
If only Suga Mama
would leave, too ♪
But sadly this is
The tale of Johnny Lovely ♪
And not the old lady
Who lives in the shoe ♪
Fathers far and wide
Were angry and upset ♪
And off to school they went ♪
To talk to the principal ♪
About this boy, Johnny Lovely ♪
Johnny Lovely ♪
Johnny Lovely ♪
They went to talk
about Johnny Lovely ♪
Now, let me make sure
I understand this.
You're angry with this young man
for opening doors for your daughters?
(All)
Yeah!
For buying them soft drinks?
(All)
Yeah!
Uh, for pulling out their
chairs when they, uh, sit?
(All)
Yeah!
For what? Being a gentleman?
A boy is a gentleman
for one reason.
And we all know what
that reason is, right?
Oh, yeah!
(all agreeing)
And what about the list?
That ought to be enough
to kick him out.
-What list?
-The list with
all our daughters'
names and addresses.
There he is!
Is this your list, Johnny?
Yes, sir, it is.
Where did you find it?
Why did he have a list
of all the girls?
-Well, I have a boys' list, too.
-What?!
-Where did you get this, Johnny?
On-line, from the student directory
at the school website.
-(All shout)
-He's a hacker!
OK, that's enough!
Now, either you quiet down
or I'm going to show your kids
your middle school transcripts.
(crickets chirping)
Johnny Lovely,
I'm afraid I'm going to have to
suspend you.
Why? For going online?
No, for not telling the truth.
You see, we don't have a student directory
on our website and w
We don't even have a website.
-But
-No, no, no buts.
You're suspended
until we get to the bottom of this.
Goodbye, Mr. Lovely.
Yeah, go, Johnny!
Don't let 'em get you down!
-(all cheering)
-Go, Johnny!
Three cheers for Principal Compton,
I mean, Inglewood.
Hip, hip
(All)
Hooray!
Hip, hip
(All)
Hooray!
We do have a
school website?
What?
-(indistinct)
-And a student directory?
I'm the principal.
I should know these things!
Gee, what am I to do?
(Principal)
Oh, well.
The fathers are happy.
(bell ringing)
Johnny, why did you let
the principal do you like that?
You know we have
a school website.
It doesn't matter.
Everyone will find out
soon enough.
What do you think
he meant by that?
I don't know.
(singing in Spanish) What did Johnny
mean they will find out soon? ♪
I guess we'll
have to wait ♪
And see, oh my gosh ♪
Here comes the prune ♪
(laughing)
Papi! Come back here, Papi!
Papi!
(dog barking)
-(growls)
-(yells)
(postman struggling with dog)
Ow! Ooh!
And when I opened the envelope,
I found this book, y'all:
How To Be Lovely.
I got one, too!
-So did I.
-He sent me one, too.
It was only two pages.
It's the first book
I ever read cover-to-cover.
-What did yours say?
-"Don't let others degrade you."
Mine said,
"Don't degrade others."
Mine said,
"Feel beautiful. Be beautiful."
I like yours better.
Let's trade.
I don't even know
what degrade means.
He means
you should respect others.
But most of all, respect yourself.
For sure,
it's about common courtesy.
And do unto others
as you would have them do to you.
I thought you guys
hated Johnny Lovely.
Nah, we were wrong
about Johnny.
Yeah, it's like,
when we got this book,
it all became clear.
It was like
all he wanted us to do
was just to be cool
to one another.
I think you're right, Duke.
Maybe you right.
Come on, everybody.
Let's go.
-Go where?
-To get Johnny.
(laughs)
(singing in Spanish) So off they went
to find the ill-treated boy ♪
They had come
to respect ♪
But what they
would find ♪
They would
never suspect ♪
Johnny Lovely ♪
The legend of
Johnny Lovely ♪
(gruffly)
What do you want?
-Is Johnny home?
-Johnny who?
Johnny Lovely.
There's no Johnny Lovely here!
Now get off my porch!
Um, excuse me,
but he lives here.
He sent me this package.
Look at the return address.
I said there's no
Johnny Lovely here!
Now go away!
You know, sir.
I think you might want to read this.
I don't want to read a book.
If I wanted to
read a book
My, this is beautiful.
Look, young lady,
I'm sorry I can't be of any help,
but there's no
Johnny Lovely here.
Thank you, sir.
You're a very lovely man.
So, if he doesn't live here,
why did he use this address?
Look!
(LaCienaga)
Johnny Avenue and Lovely Lane?
Wow.
Do you think he really exists?
I don't know.
Do you exist?
Do I exist?
What do you think, Penny?
Yeah, I think he exists.
Why don't you take
my jacket, Penny?
It's getting a little windy.
Thank you.
In fact, I'm sure he does.
(singing in Spanish)
So here we are at the story's end ♪
He taught them
how to be lovely ♪
So when a strange wind ♪
Blows in your town ♪
You'll know it's ♪
Johnny Lovely
Johnny Lovely ♪
Johnny Lovely ♪
Yeah!
(grunting)
(screams)
(laughing)
(all laughing)
Daddy, tell Mama
I don't want to go. It's not fair.
Oh, cheer up, baby.
You're gonna have
a wonderful time.
Excuse me.
Do I really have
to say this line?
Trudy wouldn't say this.
I remember
my coming-out party.
When? When you left
Family Matters?
Stick to the script
Juwana man.
Hey, yo, Marie, you know
I'm just playing.
You know how it is.
Ow!
Don't throw your toys, Bebe!
Know what I could buy for $125
back in my day?
A covered wagon?
A chariot?
A brontosaurus burger?
Ha-ha!
-(fist lands)
-Ow!
Y'all can have him
if y'all want him.
-I'm not impressed
-(phone rings)
Hello.
I'm in the middle of recording.
You know what,
I'll hit you back, homie.
I'm sorry, but this is just
the way I was raised.
What kind of pig
raised you like that?
-(Man) Cut!
-(bell rings)
(Man)
Kyla, you can't say pig.
The network thinks
it's too harsh.
Bruce, Ralph, I cannot
deal with this.
I'm going to
my dressing room.
Bruce, draw me a dressing room!
Bigger!
(door slams)