What I Like About You (2002) s02e16 Episode Script

Look at us -- standing around like a bunch of farm animals.
Why don't we ever sit down to eat breakfast? 'Cause it makes your ass big.
Yeah, when you sit, the food goes down, it gets stuck in your cheeks.
Okay, I'm done.
"Dear Vince" -- - Oh, here we go.
- Okay.
"Dear Vince, "I just want to let you know that I feel "we're in a very good place now.
"I know that we had very strong feelings "for each other, but I have been able to put that aside.
"I am virtually over it.
"And now we can get on with the business "of being friends.
Respectfully, Holly Anne Tyler.
" I love it.
What do you guys think? - Never work.
- Sick.
You all disgust me.
This letter is from my heart.
I am speaking from my soul's core.
Yeah, that's exactly where the food gets stuck.
Holly, people only write people letters to tell them they're over them when they're not over them.
You know what this is, don't you? It's a desperate attempt to make contact with Vince, and he's going to see right through you.
Well, I don't know if he's as smart as you.
Okay, listen to me.
The best way to get over somebody is to just get over them, okay? Go out, have fun, meet new boys, stay a virgin.
I could not agree more with 75% of what she just said.
Okay, we've got to get going.
Where are you going? We have a meeting with New York City Recycling.
All right.
You haven't had a new client in and we don't have one yet.
How can you be so negative when Jupiter is in your 10th house? Everyone knows that's good for business.
It better be, or else my 11th house is going to be a cardboard box.
Hey! Uh-huh What I like about you You really know how to dance When you go up, down, jump around Talk about true romance Yeah Keep on whispering in my ear Tell me all the things that I wanna hear 'Cause it's true What I like That's what I like about you What I like That's what I like about you What I like about you That's what I like about you What I like about you Hey! Hey, hey, my dressing room -- I'm locked out of it.
Go open it for me.
What's the magic word? Manager! Shut up, girl.
Don't worry about these.
I'll get them.
Oh, actually, it's my fault.
I work here.
Oh.
Then stop stacking them so high and wobbly.
I bet your boyfriend would love this on you.
Oh, I don't have a boyfriend.
Do you want one? Are you selling them? Gary, where are those tops I wanted? Ow! I'm Greg.
Hi, I'm Holly.
Damn, I wish you were here a month ago.
- Why? - 'Cause then I would have met you sooner.
Okay, look, there's an explanation for that.
My brother told me that line was gold, and I don't know why I would listen to him, because he's 12.
What's she doing? Thanks.
I didn't like anything.
So you find something? Yep, another way to piss Gary off.
Hey, what was that all about? - Why are you talking to Greg? - He asked me out.
Oh, you got a date? That is fantastic.
Which one's Greg? Oh, he's cute.
No, no, no.
You can't go on a date with him.
- Why not? - He's the manager.
Oh, you're right.
People will think I'm a gold digger.
Look, Holly, I love my job, okay? It's the best job I've ever had.
I make great money, and I meet a lot of women.
Do you understand? Money.
Women.
What's your point? Well, let's just say you go out with Greg and he has a bad time.
Now, who do you think he's going to take that out on? Gary, calm down.
I want to go out on this date.
I need to go out on this date.
Henry is moving on.
Vince is moving on, and on, and on What about Gary's needs? Don't you think you're being a little selfish here? I mean, Holly's finally starting to date again, - and I think -- - Money.
Women.
Listen, if you're really and truly worried about it, then I won't go.
Thank you.
So what time is he picking you up? Hey.
How was the meeting? You should have seen your sister.
She was on fire.
Yeah.
I was off the heezy, yo.
I had a pretty good day, too.
I have a date.
- Ooh, with Vince? - No, but way to bring me down.
It's with Gary's manager.
We're going to dinner tonight.
There.
See? What did I tell you? I know.
I did exactly what you said.
I went out, I had fun, I met a new guy, and I didn't stay a virgin.
No, I said stay a virgin.
[ gasps .]
Oopsie.
Ooh, look, we have messages.
It's the recycle people.
I know it.
They're hiring us.
Get ready.
Remember this day.
This is the day our little mom-and-pop operation becomes a ruthless multinational thingy.
[ Woman .]
: Hi, this message is for Valerie Tyler.
I'm calling from Stellar and McQueen Public Relations to confirm your job interview.
Please call us -- Stupid telemarketers.
You're looking for a job? And you didn't tell me? Okay, now, guys, just don't jump to conclusions, okay? It's not what you think.
I'm not going on a job interview.
No, see, there's this job interview, and, um, I'm going on it.
Why? Why? Because that's how they'll know if they want to hire me or not.
So you were just going to desert me.
No, unh-unh, no.
If by some chance I did get this job, then I was going to talk to them about you, too.
Oh, were you? Yeah, I was.
Great.
Well, thanks, sister, but I don't need your charity.
I don't need anything from you.
Lauren, I'm sure Val was -- No, please, okay? Don't say another word.
She and I are finished.
Yeah, I don't need to work with a secretive, backstabbing, icky lady.
I'll just go find another job.
Lauren, aren't you acting a little -- No.
No.
I'm going to start my own public relations company, and it will be bigger and better than anything you've ever dreamed of.
So if you will excuse me, I am going to go research just exactly what it is we do.
[ sighs .]
I saw you look at your watch.
So? That's rude.
Well, I'm bored.
What, you don't think I'm bored? You don't think I'm dying to look at my watch? I want Holly to come back from her date just as bad as you, but you don't see me going around looking at my watch, but I guess we was just raised different.
Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hi, order for Val Tyler.
Lauren? That's Tyler with a "t" as in traitor? Yes, here is your fell-on-the-floor tuna melt with a side of loogie slaw.
Will you be needing any ketchup? All right, until Holly gets here, we may as well have a chat.
We've never had a civil conversation with each other.
This is a good test.
You mean really talk? Yeah, tell me about yourself.
Tell me something I don't know.
I've had thoughts of making out with you.
Ooh! Holly! Thanks, bro.
Greg, Holly, hey, how's it going? How's it going? Ha ha ha.
Is he happy? Having fun yet? Is my job safe? Tina's weird.
Look at the two of you together, looking like two little turtledoves.
You know, Holly is such a nice girl.
She's always spoken so highly of you.
Aw.
Yeah, well, we had a really great time.
Greg's really into astronomy.
He knows all of the constellations.
I had no idea how into it he was when he asked me out.
No idea.
Astronomy, huh? That's fascinating.
I mean, you know, Holly has spoken so highly of astronomy.
Hey, tomorrow night, there's going to be a lunar eclipse.
Get out! You know, Holly said she had a terrace.
I was trying to talk her into watching it at her place.
You guys should come, too.
Well, you know, I would love to, but unfortunately, you have me scheduled to work tomorrow night.
Gary, don't worry about it.
I think I can pull a few strings.
That's right.
Ha ha! You can pull some strings.
Because you're my boss.
And you control my destiny, just in case anyone here at this table has forgotten that.
Well, I'm gonna have to ask my sister, because she's kind of weird about people on our terrace looking at eclipses.
Oh, that's cool.
Excuse me for a second? Oh, my God! I am so sorry.
You poor thing.
It's worse than you think.
Have you ever been on a date with a star freak on a very clear night? Do you have any idea how many constellations there are? Gary, I'm sorry.
I don't want to cause trouble for you at work, but there's, like, no connection.
No, no, no.
Can't you just hang in there for two more months? I need Presidents' Day weekend off for a ski trip.
Okay, here's what I'll do for you.
I will stay with him until he comes back from the bathroom.
Oh, come on, you're my friend.
I am, and I would do anything for you, but this is not going to happen.
I mean, I really don't care if the sun is a "star" and he so, so does.
Well, I'm not letting the two of you out of my sight.
You can't break up with him in front of people.
Gary, I would break up with him in front of his entire family at his beloved nana's funeral.
I don't like him.
Oh, hey, before you sit down, you and I need to take a little walk.
- Hey.
- Vince, oh.
- How you doing? - Hey.
I'm on an awesome date! [ Holly .]
: [ phony laughter .]
It was crazy! It was like I was looking at sweaters, and then I knocked some over, and then Greg picked 'em up! It was like a movie.
That's great.
Good for you.
Yeah.
Fate was kind to us.
That is such a cute story.
Should we tell them what happened the first night we met? Nono, no, no.
All right, guys, we're gonna get going.
It was good to meet you, Greg.
This was cool.
We should hang out sometime.
Uh, I'm having a party at my house tomorrow night to celebrate the lunar eclipse.
You guys should come.
I don't know Oh, come on.
Eclipse, total, no moon, pure dark.
You guys should come.
It's gonna rock.
Oohyou and me, outdoors, dark I like the sound of that.
Oh, well, we have lots of lights, too -- very bright lights -- you can see us from space.
It's true.
They have satellites that can read your license plate from space.
Isn't he smart? Yeah.
It sounds cool.
We'll be there.
It was nice to meet you guys.
- Bye.
- Bye.
I can't wait for you to see the lunar penumbra.
What? Hi.
Oh, thank God you're finally home.
The recycle people left you a message.
- They want to hire you.
- What? Come listen, come listen! Val, do you know what this means? I can't believe it.
Why? Lauren said you were great.
They loved you.
You were on fire.
No, I just got back from my interview at Stellar and McQueen, and they offered me the job right on the spot.
Oh, well, now you don't have to take it.
I mean, you said this account would be the best thing ever.
Yeah, but so is this job.
Yeah, but you'd still be working for somebody else.
Holly, they had so much Sweet'n'Low.
And -- and boxes and boxes of Zone bars.
Yeah, if there was something you want and you don't see it, then they have it in "the back.
" So you're going to quit your own business for Zone bars and a sugar substitute? I don't know.
I mean, when I went to that office today, there were elevators and people and life and noise and -- What do you think I should do? [ imitating Val .]
I don't know.
It's just when I got up this morning and I got dressed and I went to that office, the atmosphere just seemed to fit, you know? I just feltsafe.
You haven't been feeling safe? Actually, no.
I've been feeling kind of scared.
Oh, come on, why? I worry, you know? I worry about you, I worry about Lauren.
Well, stop.
Stop worrying about everybody else, and make this decision for you.
Really? Really.
Oh, thank you.
You are the best.
What the hell is that? My date's telescope.
I'm throwing an eclipse party tonight.
You're throwing a party? Don't you think you should've told me? Probably shoulda.
I don't see what's so exciting about an eclipse.
I mean, if you don't want to see the moon, don't look at it.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I've been ignoring Vince all night.
Look at him.
It's driving him crazy.
Yeah, it's killing him.
All right, get ready, because I'm about to kick it up a notch.
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
Hey! Want to look through the telescope? The penumbra is impressive.
That's all right.
'Cause I'd rather look at you.
[ clears throat .]
Hey, I bet we could get a better look from up here.
No.
Actually, this -- Move it! [ stomps .]
That's better.
[ clears throat .]
Now, tell me about that penumbra thing again.
Well, a penumbra Mm-hmm? That's this area of partial illumination.
Ooh, illumination! Pernumber.
I'm really, really glad I met you.
Yeah, I'm glad I met you, too.
I can't even believe this is happening.
This is one of the most awesome nights of my life.
I can't do this.
What? Come here.
I'm so sorry.
I'm a horrible, horrible person, and you're so sweet, but I like that guy out there, and I was just -- - I know.
- You know what? You're in love with that guy.
I knew as soon as I saw you looking at him at the diner.
- But I was just -- - Using me.
I know.
It's okay.
I was using you, too.
When I found out you had this awesome terrace, all I could think about was how perfect the lunar view would be.
And plus, you were like kissing me and stuff.
It was a win-win.
Wow, I'm really glad to hear that, because I was feeling awful.
No problem.
Hmm.
Seriously, if I wasn't madly in love with that guy, I would totally hang out with you.
Yeah.
Listen, I've been waiting sounless you want to make out some more -- No.
Go ahead.
So, what's going on with Greg? Did you come on too strong? Am I fired? Well, you know, it doesn't matter.
Who cares about money and women anyway, huh? Hey, look at the moon.
It's kind of cool.
Yeah, it is.
Maybe it would be better if you looked at that.
Hey.
It's cool, huh? We're not gonna go blind looking at that, are we? That's a sun eclipse, dumb-ass.
So, that was an interesting little conversation we had at the diner last night.
Was it? I don't remember.
It's all a blank.
You're weird.
Dude, relax.
I was just yanking your chain about the whole making out stuff.
Give me a break.
I knew that.
You know what I'm saying? I'm not trippin'.
I am never, ever, ever having an eclipse party again.
I don't know.
That Greg guy was kind of cute.
Yeah, well, I'm glad you think that, because with the lunar view from our terrace, he may never leave.
Oh.
Oh, good.
I was just coming to -- Hello, Holly Anne.
I see you're with your guardian.
I'm just gonna wait inside.
Do you have a second? Holly, I -- How are you? Aw Hey.
Okay.
Okay, come here.
Aw It's so good to see you.
So good.
You too.
Um, here, sit down.
Okay.
Man, feels like I haven't seen you in forever.
How've you been? You look great.
Thanks.
Yeah, so do you.
Wait, what's the matter? Nothing.
I'm fine.
Holly, come on.
No, seriously, I'm fine.
Okay.
So, what's going on with you? Um, how are things with Vince? Oh, God, he's, um hey, can we talk about this yet? I mean, are we friendly enough? I don't know.
Let's see.
[ clears throat .]
How's Vince? Stupid.
Yes, we can do this.
I don't know if anything's gonna happen with me and Vince.
Why? What happened? Well, he's got a lot of girlfriends, and even if we did eventuallyyou know, I don't know if he knows how to have a relationship.
Well, maybe if the right person comes along, he'll, uhoh.
Hey.
Oh.
Kate.
Yeah, she had a late class.
- Hi, Holly.
- Hey.
Hi.
Um oh, you may kiss.
Hey, so did you guys see the lunar eclipse tonight? Oh, yeah, the pernundrum was very impressive.
Oh, um, I'm sorry.
I would have ordered you something, - but I didn't know -- - Oh Kate, I, uh I stole these from across the street.
I know how you hate that refined white sugar.
That is so sweet.
Well, you know I do my best.
Okay, I wasn't really that mad that you were looking for another job.
I was mostly mad because you were feeling all this pressure and you didn't tell me.
You know, maybe I could have done something to help.
I guess I didn't think I was even gonna get that job, so I figured, what was the point of upsetting everybody? Well, whatever you decide, just know that I will be totally okay with it.
I'm not taking that job.
Oh, thank God.
I was ready to kill myself.
So, we're open for business tomorrow if you want to come back.
Of course I want to come back, but do you swear that this is what you want to do? Positive.
When I was talking to the head of the company, I was telling her how I was trying to start my own business, and get this -- she was jealous of me.
Why, was she butt-ugly? No.
She told me the most exciting time in her life was when she was trying to get her business off the ground.
She said she almost quit a million times, but when she finally made it, it was so worth it.
I want what she has -- minus the three divorces and the lesbian rebound.
Hey.
So, what's up? Lauren, you coming back to work for Val? Actually, I'm thinking about keeping both jobs.
You know me.
I got to keep my plate full.
I am a big-time overachiever! Lauren, Jesse's husband called.
She just went into labor.
Can you cover her shift? No can do.