A.N.T. Farm (2011) s02e17 Episode Script

Guess who's on her way to volleyball practice? Hmm, let's see.
You're wearing a volleyball uniform and holding a volleyball, so it can't be you, that'd be too obvious.
And volleyball is at the same time as the mystery Book Club, so we can rule out anyone from that.
Unless they're trying to throw me off their scent! It's me, I'm on my way to volleyball practice! You're doing a sport? Skidmore says we have to devote all our time to our talents.
She also says we can't drink from the water fountain without leaving a quarter in the jar, but everyone does.
What? I pay every time! Chyna, what do you think you're doing? You need to focus on your music.
You cannot play a sport.
I'm not playing a sport! This is a musical instrument called The volleydrum.
I'm going to meet 11 other girls in the gym for a volleydrum circle.
Hey, Olive! Check out the stuff I'm going to break with my sensei Tional new chisel! I'm making a sculpture that has nothing to do with karate.
Nice try.
I wasn't born yesterday.
Oh, we're well aware of that.
I said no sports! But, Principal Skidmore, sports are fun.
Don't you want us to be happy? No! School isn't a place to be happy! Man! And guess who was supposed to be first up in the Karate Tournament? Let's see.
You're wearing a Karate Gi, and you're completely uncoordinated, so it can't be you.
Ooh, ooh.
Ooh.
Doo, doo.
Ooh, ooh.
Ooh.
Doo, doo.
Woo! Everybody's got that thing.
Something different, we all bring.
Don't you let 'em, clip your wings.
You got it! You got it! We're on fire and we blaze, in extraordinary ways.
365 days.
We got it! We got it! You can dream it.
You can be it.
If you can feel it, you can believe it! Because I am, you are, we are Exceptional.
Exceptional! Yeah, I am, you are, we are Exceptional.
Exceptional! Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh.
Hey! Woo! It's not fair.
I want to be on a sports team.
Right now, all of my trophies look like this.
Or this.
But I want a trophy that looks like this.
Or this.
Why are you wearing four scarves? Because Granny is coming the things she knitted us, she'll get upset, and she knit's when she's upset.
It's a vicious cycle.
Grammy's coming? Wait, right now? Oh! Why can't she just be lazy, and give us cash? Grammy! There's my little Bunny Bear and Honey Bear! Can't breathe.
I wish I couldn't breathe! I'm so glad you're here, Grammy! Chyna, look at you! You've grown so much! And, Cameron Hello.
- How was your trip, Grammy? - Not bad.
But can you believe they had the nerve to make me check my carry on? But it was all worth it to come and see you guys! And now that I have retired from my teaching career, I have plenty of time to come do fun stuff with you.
- Oh, you mean, like go out to lunch? - Yes! - And we can go to the symphony! - Yes! And we can go get manicures.
Yeah! There is nothing wrong with a man having nicely groomed cuticles.
A manicure sounds great! Unfortunately, I would have to take off these, beautiful mittens you knitted for me.
Which I'm wearing even though it's 85 degrees outside.
Aw And I was gonna get you cash as a present this time.
I'll just use that money to buy yarn and crochet you matching bathing suits.
Huh Matching brother and sister wool bathing suits? Mmm-hmm.
Great.
Oh, I'm so thirsty, but I only have a dollar.
Then you'll have to pay for four sips.
I can't.
I have to save money to use the bathroom.
Wow.
She charges for water on the way in and on the way out.
Yeah, well, I figured out how to avoid those fees.
You brought your own water? Yes.
That, that's what's in here.
Water.
Well, between this and the sports thing, Skidmore is the worst Principal ever.
I wish she'd just hurry and retire already.
It's never going to happen.
She's worked here forever.
I heard they physically built the school around her.
Well, maybe she just needs a little push.
Follow my lead.
Principal Skidmore, are you okay? You look tired.
Actually You look retired.
I'm not tired.
I just took a three hour nap in my office.
- Uh-oh.
- What? Well, apparently excessive napping is one of the symptoms of COS.
Chronic Over-Employment Syndrome.
Oh, that's not a real thing! Oh, no.
Skepticism about COS is one of the tell-tale symptoms of COS.
What are the other symptoms? Is the room spinning? Yes! Yes, I I think I might have COS! You should be wearing a mask.
Not because it's contagious.
Because, well You should just wear a mask.
Well, what is the cure? There is none.
Yes, there is, Fletcher! There's been a recent breakthrough and now there is one! Retirement! You think I should retire? Well, as much as I would hate to see you leave, it's the only way to save you.
But retirement does have its benefits.
You can read for pleasure.
- Ooh, that sounds good! - Go to museums.
- Museums are great! - Learn a new language.
Ooh, how about the Greenlandic language Inuktitut.
I'm gonna need to think about this.
She's gonna think about it! Nice job making retirement sound fun, Olive! What do you mean? It really does sound fun! I wish I were old.
I can't believe I have my whole life in front of me.
Chyna, I talked to my doctor and he confirmed I had COS.
And agreed I should retire.
- He did? - Mmm-hmm.
Um, he also told me that I could cure my headaches by rubbing this prescription rock on my forehead.
Well, I think you made the right decision.
And now that you're retired, I think that you should take some of that time to I don't know, search for a new doctor? Do you think people are going to miss me around here? Of course! No more Skidmore! No more Skidmore! No more Skidmore! No more Skidmore! No more Skidmore! See? They're fighting over who gets to take your statue home! Welcome to IHOW, the International House of Whatever.
Less yap-yap and more chop-chop! Principal Skidmore? What are you doing here? Getting together with my new retirement group, the Artificial Hipsters.
And this is the only place that offers a 10% discount for seniors.
That's seniors in high school! It says it right on the menu.
You can't expect me to read this tiny print! Susan? Susan Skidmore? How the heck are ya? Are you enjoying retirement? I bet you are! I was.
Oh, Susan, your wit is as dry as your Skin.
You might want to try cocoa butter.
It's what keeps me looking so youthful.
Well, that and the fact that I'm young.
Ooh, I see we're playing Mahjong.
Interesting factoid about Mahjong.
Legend has it the game was developed by Confucius, who called it ma jiang meaning sparrow, because he was a lover of birds.
It is so nice having Skidmore gone! We can finally do what we want! Like play volleyball and smile.
I just hope the new Principal lets us use the bathroom for free.
I've been holding it in since the ninth grade.
Well, we're about to find out.
The new Principal's about to walk right through that door.
Wacky is our new Principal? No, he's dressed like that because he was in court.
He's been accused of blowing a house down.
- Grammy? - It's Principal Grammy now! I am replacing Miss Skidmore.
Now I can spend quality time with my Bunny Bear and Honey Bear all day, every day! And I can't wait to meet all your friends! Which of you are my grand babies' friends? You all should be, they're delightful! They used to take baths together.
It was so cute! Oh, wait, wait.
Here's a picture of it! Grammy, Grammy! Don't show them that picture! Oh, I'm sorry! Here's pictures of them bathing separately.
- You're our new Principal? - That's right, Bunny Bear.
And Cameron, straighten up! - Oh! - You need every inch you can get! Grammy! You're embarrassing me in front of my People I go to school with! Don't talk back! Now go iron your slacks.
Yes, ma'am.
Grammy I thought you were retired.
Well, we were having so much fun spending time together at home, I figured this way, we could spend time together at school, too.
Uh, Principal Grammy? How do you feel about the Ants being on sports teams? Oh, I'm all for it.
Oh, in fact, Chyna, I know how important the volleyball team is to you.
So I knitted you your very own uniform! It even has your number on the back.
Oh.
"Number one grandchild"? - Don't let Cameron see that.
- Oh.
More dinner rolls? Or did you run out of room in your purse? Ooh! Hey, Susan! I see you got the gang back together.
Olive, what are you wearing? - You look ridiculous.
- Tsk.
You know, at my age, you don't really care about fashion.
I'm just glad to have all my teeth.
I just got my big-girl molars.
Olive, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't like you.
I want you to leave right now and never come back.
Why? Because we're wearing the same outfit? Don't worry, I think it's cute! We look just like sisters.
I can't stand high school students.
Oh, neither can I.
We have so much in common.
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
So sweaty! Oh, good thing I have this wool towel the Principal knitted for me.
Grammy! What are you doing here? I'm here to cheer you on! Yeah! Yeah! Ho-ho! You going down, down! Right to the ground, ground! We're gonna spike it in your face! Till your blood is what you taste! Fletcher, maybe you should give up karate, because you look terrible.
Yeah, my head really hurts.
But luckily, Skidmore referred me to her doctor.
Well, I'm just glad to finally be home and away from school.
What are all these people doing here? Serving detention.
In our living room? Well, I didn't want to punish you by depriving you of Grammy time.
So I figured I'd bring my work home with me.
Are you winking at me? Oh, no.
My eye is swelling shut.
Oh, well, come with me and we'll put some frozen peas on it.
Are they over-the-counter peas? Because I'm not sure if I should mix prescriptions.
Cameron, can you believe this? Grammy is out of control.
Cameron, you're late for detention! - But - Sit down! Yes, ma'am.
Sorry, Chyna And no talking! Don't get me wrong, I love my Grammy.
But I do not love Principal Grammy.
I never thought I'd say it but I actually miss Skidmore.
Fletcher, are you even listening to me? Yeah.
I just can't move my neck.
Actually, I can't feel anything below my chin.
Although, I did earn my white belt in karate.
Fletcher, they only gave you that because, no one wanted to see you with your robe open.
Then I guess you've pieced together the story of how I earned it.
Anyway, we've got to get Skidmore back.
Even if it means giving up volleyball.
But I won't be able to do karate! Fletcher, what you're doing is not karate.
It's closer to giving blood.
Maybe Skidmore will come back if we show her how much more miserable we are without her.
She likes it when we're miserable.
But she hates it when we're happy.
- Fletcher, I'm gonna need your help.
- Ow! Hey, I can feel my shoulder! I am so impressed that you ladies have taken up speed walking at your age.
Actually, it's supposed to be a leisurely stroll.
We're trying to ditch you! Hey, Former Principal Skidmore.
How's retired life treating you? Ah, it could be better if tag-along Tina here would leave us alone! Is that laughter? At school? That better be at the expense of others! Well, why don't we go in and see? Hey, Miss Skidmore! It's Fletcher from school! Wee-hoo! What has happened to my school? It's not your school anymore.
By the way, feel free to grab a complimentary bottle of water.
What What is this thing? It's a ball pit.
We have them in all the halls.
I mean, don't actually check all the halls, but we have them.
Trust me.
Wow, things sure are different from what they were in my day.
Olive, your day is today.
You were here this morning.
My trophies! Where are my babies? We got rid of them.
Now we use this space for roller skates.
Would you like to rent a pair? It's free.
What? Free? Free!? I have a headache.
Oh, this isn't working.
I need the extra strength rock.
I guess things are different now that you're retired.
Not for long.
As of now, I'm retired from being retired! What? No! Who's going to be my bridge partner? And what about our bus trip to the dollar store? No.
Yes! We did it! Our scheme worked! No more Principal Grammy! Uh, Chyna I guess I'll just head home since I'm Obviously not wanted here.
Grammy, wait! Get to class, deadbeats! I'm back! Grammy.
Please stop packing.
I don't want you to leave.
You don't like me being here.
You don't like me being the Principal.
Next thing I know, you'll be telling me, you don't like these pants I needle-pointed for you.
Grammy, please don't be upset.
It's just It's hard enough trying to fit in, being one of the youngest kids in high school.
And it doesn't help having your Grammy showing pictures of you in a bubble bath.
Chyna, if that's how you felt, why didn't you just tell me? I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
So instead you made up an elaborate scheme to get rid of me? I make up elaborate schemes when I'm stressed! I'm sorry, Grammy.
And I'm sorry I went a little overboard.
It's just I hadn't seen you kids in so long and I guess I wanted to make up for lost time.
Grammy, I love you all the time, whether we're together or not.
I love you kids, too.
Does that mean I don't have detention anymore? I said no talking! Yes, ma'am.
B-9.
B Hey! Aren't you working for tips? Show some energy.
There's a shiny nickel in it for you.
I-17.
I hate my life.
Bingo! I won! What the heck? B-I-N-G-O! I gots the bingo! You know I won this round I can see it in your frown.
Now why can't people act their age? Ethel, pass the prunes.