Clarence US (2014) s02e17 Episode Script
Game Show
1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Oh, well, looks like he, uh, isn't here.
Too bad, too, but that's the way it is.
He's completely not here.
Gotcha! - Ahem.
- I'm sorry.
Tag, you're it.
I-I'm I'm kidding.
Sorry, we'll we'll behave.
Oh, wow.
This looks like a nice shirt.
It's just a little bumpy here! Is this a 100% cotton laughing shirt? Ow! - Ma'am, please, not in the store.
- S-Sorry, w-we'll behave.
Why do people have children? All right, all right.
- 1, 2, 3 - Uh-oh.
Can't catch me.
4, 5, 6.
Uh, 7, 8.
Oh, 9.
Oh, 10! We got a 10 here, Clarence! Oh! Oh, hey, Breehn.
- Are you guys - Shh! Oh, hey, Breehn.
Are you guys playing hide and seek? Breehn? Where is that boy?! Clarence, come on! - What if I sneeze? - No, Clarence, don't don't sneeze! Uh-oh.
I think I'm going to sneeze.
- Hmm.
- Don't you want to try on that stuff she got you? You'd look handsome! Nah.
I don't like any of the stuff she gets me.
What would you wear if you could wear anything in the whole world? These are high-performance sneakers top of the line.
Oh, whoa! - Breehn! - Aah! What did I say about street shoes? That if I wear them, I won't get into a good college, - and I won't amount to anything.
- Now put them back.
Drop it.
Drop it! - Clomp, clomp, clomp.
- Oh, hi, Tiff! Oh, hello, Mary.
Oh, so you gettin' some new bow ties there for your son? - Yes, and for my husband.
- Oh! Uh, where is he? He's at work.
Shoe man, I'm the shoe man Breehn, what did I just say? I don't want you looking at that filth anymore.
Now, go try these on.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Wait.
You got a little something on your cheek.
- Bleh.
- Hey, Mom, I'm gonna go try this on with Breehn.
- Oh, okay, uh, we'll catch up.
- Walk, don't run, Breehn! So, how's your hu Uh, I mean your Chad? Oh.
Well, you know, he's also at work too.
Ahh.
Oh, yeah.
Mmm.
Oh.
Mmm.
Pepperoncini.
Huh? Oh, no! That Chad, you know? Work, work, work.
- Oh.
Wonderful.
- Yeah.
Hey, uh, let's go see how those outfits look, huh? Oh, yes, yes.
Clarence, It's your ma.
- Sorry, is this you? - Breehn, I've found some more bowies for you to try on.
- Uh, Tiff, I don't think the boys are in here.
- Wh-What? Breehn.
Breehn! Where are you?! - Hey, I'm in here! - Where's my Breehn?! Hey, Tiff, Tiff, maybe they're, uh, you know, playing hide and seek or something.
Oh, yes, of course! - Hide and seek.
- And what's your name? Uh, uh, Bree Breehn.
Breehn.
Excellent! Let's hear it for our contestants! Now, before we get started, I'm going to do something crazy! I'm going to offer everyone in this room the entire Body Mayo Deluxe Ultra Bronzing Package.
Now, for how much, you ask? Well, it isn't $99.
99, and it isn't $89.
99.
But for, uh $89.
99 I'll even include the special exfoliating super "shamoise.
" - Wow! - Ugh.
- It's so fun! - Breehn, what is going on here? Uh, it's not my fault.
I-It was all Clarence's idea.
Mm-hmm.
Me and my mom play games all the time.
What do we have here, a surprise contestant? Breehn, you're coming with me.
Oh, no, ma'am.
You're coming with me.
- Ew! - Everyone here is coming with me on a journey that will transform that pale, ghostly face of yours into the bronzed, radiating visage of a goddess.
Welcome to the Body Mayo game show giveaway here at the Aberdale Mall! All hail Clarence! We got to get that cream.
Wrong mommy.
We're going now, Breehn.
Come on.
Aw, come on.
Stay.
It'll be fun, guys.
She's right, ma'am.
Stay and play to win some of our fabulous prizes! Please, Mom? - Five minutes.
- Yes! - Yay, Breehn! - Oh, that's the spirit, Tiff.
Let's hear it for our contestants! - Oh.
- Uh All right! It's time to spin the Wheel of Cream! Oh.
Body Mayo trivia.
Which material comprises the traditional medal for third place? - Breehn, don't slouch! - Sorry.
Uh, is the answer bronze? Bronze is Oh.
Bronze is the answer! Bronze, like the soothing - Oh, way to go, Breehn! - Yeah, good job! Come on, everyone! Let's hear it for Breehn! Whoop, whoop, whoop! Next question.
What ancient age of civilization lasting approximately 3,000 years saw major advancements in tool technology? Oh, oh, oh, oh! Uh, the Stone Age.
- It's the Stone Age, right? - So close.
I mean Bronze Age! Not the Stone Age, the Bronze Age! Correct! The Bronze Age! Like the soothing caress First she says Stone Age, then she says Bronze Age? Mom, I-I thought you didn't want to play.
If you want to live in a lawless society, be my guest, young man.
- Be my guest for two more minutes.
- This is all hogwash! Cost me another sale.
Okay, next question.
What are you doing? - Did I win yet? - No, you didn't.
- Oh Well, can I borrow that? - No.
- Oh, Clarence, no grabby hands! - One minute, Breehn! You know what? Since I like having you guys up here so much, we're just gonna move straight to the final challenge.
The Body Mayo Walk of Doom! First, dab your face with our rejuvenating Body Mayo cream.
Then cross the shark-infested waters of Body Mayo Lake.
Finally, make your way to the lawn chair, don the sunglasses, and you win! Now, before we start, I'd like to talk to you a little bit about Statue, statue, statue, statue, st Oh! Oh! - That's my boy! - Okay, Breehn, time to go.
Breehn! Breehn! Breehn! Breehn! - I did it! - Ooh! Hooray! Breehn! Whoops.
Uh-oh! - Breehn, are you hurt? - I'm fine, Mom.
Uh, let's hear it for Brian.
Hooray.
Excuse me, young man.
I would like to purchase one of your miracle creams.
Uh, excellent! Now, you have what I call "aged skin," so you might li Wait! I'll help you, lady! Oops.
Sorry.
I can help you rebuild the pyramid.
- Hmph! - No, no! Wait! No, no! Wait! Come All right.
You four, get out.
You're ruining the one good thing in my life right now.
- But what about the prizes? - No prizes! Wait a second.
You're not gonna give him a prize?! He won your show! Tiff, can you believe this guy? Believe it! You people are crazy! And you! Do your kid a favor and get him some new clothes.
He looks like a creepy doll! Hey! Just because you got your fancy Hollywood creams over here doesn't mean you can criticize the way she dresses her child.
Tiff's a great mother.
Sometimes I wish I could get Clarence looking half as sharp as Breehn does.
Statue, statue - That'll never happen.
- What did you just say to me? - What did you just say to me?! - Wh-whoa! Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me! No, no! Don't look at me! Don't look at me! Don't look at me! - Don't look at me! - Oh! Don't look at me! All right.
Clarence, why don't you announce the winners, huh? Oh, okay, um So, the winner is Breehn, because he's really cool, um, and he got the glasses in the thing and he's my friend at school.
Yay, Breehn! Whoo! - Yay.
- Oh.
I love you.
- Yay.
Oh.
- He's such a dear! Look at him.
Come on, Breehn.
Let's go look at our prizes.
- Mom, can can I take a prize? - Um, sure, honey.
Oh, wow.
Look at this big, old shirt.
- This is pretty cool.
- Yeah! Oh, Mom, can I have these?! So good Fine.
But you can only wear them in your room.
- At night.
- Hey, for what it's worth, I think you're doing a great job with Breehn.
You stood up for us.
I suppose someone should thank you.
Well, come along, Breehn.
What did I just say? Wait, Breehn.
I'm really proud of you.
Your dad would have wanted you to have this.
But my my dad's at work.
- He's in a better place now.
- Okay.
Bye, Clarence.
Come on, kiddo.
Let's get home and get you a bath, huh? Okay.
Aw, man.
I may have to put a ring on her.
Too bad, too, but that's the way it is.
He's completely not here.
Gotcha! - Ahem.
- I'm sorry.
Tag, you're it.
I-I'm I'm kidding.
Sorry, we'll we'll behave.
Oh, wow.
This looks like a nice shirt.
It's just a little bumpy here! Is this a 100% cotton laughing shirt? Ow! - Ma'am, please, not in the store.
- S-Sorry, w-we'll behave.
Why do people have children? All right, all right.
- 1, 2, 3 - Uh-oh.
Can't catch me.
4, 5, 6.
Uh, 7, 8.
Oh, 9.
Oh, 10! We got a 10 here, Clarence! Oh! Oh, hey, Breehn.
- Are you guys - Shh! Oh, hey, Breehn.
Are you guys playing hide and seek? Breehn? Where is that boy?! Clarence, come on! - What if I sneeze? - No, Clarence, don't don't sneeze! Uh-oh.
I think I'm going to sneeze.
- Hmm.
- Don't you want to try on that stuff she got you? You'd look handsome! Nah.
I don't like any of the stuff she gets me.
What would you wear if you could wear anything in the whole world? These are high-performance sneakers top of the line.
Oh, whoa! - Breehn! - Aah! What did I say about street shoes? That if I wear them, I won't get into a good college, - and I won't amount to anything.
- Now put them back.
Drop it.
Drop it! - Clomp, clomp, clomp.
- Oh, hi, Tiff! Oh, hello, Mary.
Oh, so you gettin' some new bow ties there for your son? - Yes, and for my husband.
- Oh! Uh, where is he? He's at work.
Shoe man, I'm the shoe man Breehn, what did I just say? I don't want you looking at that filth anymore.
Now, go try these on.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Wait.
You got a little something on your cheek.
- Bleh.
- Hey, Mom, I'm gonna go try this on with Breehn.
- Oh, okay, uh, we'll catch up.
- Walk, don't run, Breehn! So, how's your hu Uh, I mean your Chad? Oh.
Well, you know, he's also at work too.
Ahh.
Oh, yeah.
Mmm.
Oh.
Mmm.
Pepperoncini.
Huh? Oh, no! That Chad, you know? Work, work, work.
- Oh.
Wonderful.
- Yeah.
Hey, uh, let's go see how those outfits look, huh? Oh, yes, yes.
Clarence, It's your ma.
- Sorry, is this you? - Breehn, I've found some more bowies for you to try on.
- Uh, Tiff, I don't think the boys are in here.
- Wh-What? Breehn.
Breehn! Where are you?! - Hey, I'm in here! - Where's my Breehn?! Hey, Tiff, Tiff, maybe they're, uh, you know, playing hide and seek or something.
Oh, yes, of course! - Hide and seek.
- And what's your name? Uh, uh, Bree Breehn.
Breehn.
Excellent! Let's hear it for our contestants! Now, before we get started, I'm going to do something crazy! I'm going to offer everyone in this room the entire Body Mayo Deluxe Ultra Bronzing Package.
Now, for how much, you ask? Well, it isn't $99.
99, and it isn't $89.
99.
But for, uh $89.
99 I'll even include the special exfoliating super "shamoise.
" - Wow! - Ugh.
- It's so fun! - Breehn, what is going on here? Uh, it's not my fault.
I-It was all Clarence's idea.
Mm-hmm.
Me and my mom play games all the time.
What do we have here, a surprise contestant? Breehn, you're coming with me.
Oh, no, ma'am.
You're coming with me.
- Ew! - Everyone here is coming with me on a journey that will transform that pale, ghostly face of yours into the bronzed, radiating visage of a goddess.
Welcome to the Body Mayo game show giveaway here at the Aberdale Mall! All hail Clarence! We got to get that cream.
Wrong mommy.
We're going now, Breehn.
Come on.
Aw, come on.
Stay.
It'll be fun, guys.
She's right, ma'am.
Stay and play to win some of our fabulous prizes! Please, Mom? - Five minutes.
- Yes! - Yay, Breehn! - Oh, that's the spirit, Tiff.
Let's hear it for our contestants! - Oh.
- Uh All right! It's time to spin the Wheel of Cream! Oh.
Body Mayo trivia.
Which material comprises the traditional medal for third place? - Breehn, don't slouch! - Sorry.
Uh, is the answer bronze? Bronze is Oh.
Bronze is the answer! Bronze, like the soothing - Oh, way to go, Breehn! - Yeah, good job! Come on, everyone! Let's hear it for Breehn! Whoop, whoop, whoop! Next question.
What ancient age of civilization lasting approximately 3,000 years saw major advancements in tool technology? Oh, oh, oh, oh! Uh, the Stone Age.
- It's the Stone Age, right? - So close.
I mean Bronze Age! Not the Stone Age, the Bronze Age! Correct! The Bronze Age! Like the soothing caress First she says Stone Age, then she says Bronze Age? Mom, I-I thought you didn't want to play.
If you want to live in a lawless society, be my guest, young man.
- Be my guest for two more minutes.
- This is all hogwash! Cost me another sale.
Okay, next question.
What are you doing? - Did I win yet? - No, you didn't.
- Oh Well, can I borrow that? - No.
- Oh, Clarence, no grabby hands! - One minute, Breehn! You know what? Since I like having you guys up here so much, we're just gonna move straight to the final challenge.
The Body Mayo Walk of Doom! First, dab your face with our rejuvenating Body Mayo cream.
Then cross the shark-infested waters of Body Mayo Lake.
Finally, make your way to the lawn chair, don the sunglasses, and you win! Now, before we start, I'd like to talk to you a little bit about Statue, statue, statue, statue, st Oh! Oh! - That's my boy! - Okay, Breehn, time to go.
Breehn! Breehn! Breehn! Breehn! - I did it! - Ooh! Hooray! Breehn! Whoops.
Uh-oh! - Breehn, are you hurt? - I'm fine, Mom.
Uh, let's hear it for Brian.
Hooray.
Excuse me, young man.
I would like to purchase one of your miracle creams.
Uh, excellent! Now, you have what I call "aged skin," so you might li Wait! I'll help you, lady! Oops.
Sorry.
I can help you rebuild the pyramid.
- Hmph! - No, no! Wait! No, no! Wait! Come All right.
You four, get out.
You're ruining the one good thing in my life right now.
- But what about the prizes? - No prizes! Wait a second.
You're not gonna give him a prize?! He won your show! Tiff, can you believe this guy? Believe it! You people are crazy! And you! Do your kid a favor and get him some new clothes.
He looks like a creepy doll! Hey! Just because you got your fancy Hollywood creams over here doesn't mean you can criticize the way she dresses her child.
Tiff's a great mother.
Sometimes I wish I could get Clarence looking half as sharp as Breehn does.
Statue, statue - That'll never happen.
- What did you just say to me? - What did you just say to me?! - Wh-whoa! Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me! No, no! Don't look at me! Don't look at me! Don't look at me! - Don't look at me! - Oh! Don't look at me! All right.
Clarence, why don't you announce the winners, huh? Oh, okay, um So, the winner is Breehn, because he's really cool, um, and he got the glasses in the thing and he's my friend at school.
Yay, Breehn! Whoo! - Yay.
- Oh.
I love you.
- Yay.
Oh.
- He's such a dear! Look at him.
Come on, Breehn.
Let's go look at our prizes.
- Mom, can can I take a prize? - Um, sure, honey.
Oh, wow.
Look at this big, old shirt.
- This is pretty cool.
- Yeah! Oh, Mom, can I have these?! So good Fine.
But you can only wear them in your room.
- At night.
- Hey, for what it's worth, I think you're doing a great job with Breehn.
You stood up for us.
I suppose someone should thank you.
Well, come along, Breehn.
What did I just say? Wait, Breehn.
I'm really proud of you.
Your dad would have wanted you to have this.
But my my dad's at work.
- He's in a better place now.
- Okay.
Bye, Clarence.
Come on, kiddo.
Let's get home and get you a bath, huh? Okay.
Aw, man.
I may have to put a ring on her.