Cow and Chicken (1997) s02e17 Episode Script
The Karate Chick
1
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad wad proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
Next time I ask for
your lunch money, Chicken,
you had better have exact change!
Stay still, son.
Right there, Mama!
A bruise!
Oh, Papa! He's damaged goods!
I'll never be a grandmother!
Oh, it's nothin'.
Son, it's time you learned karate.
It made a man of Mom. And me!
Our son's gonna be a karate man!
"Ben Panced School of Ka-rate.
Kick hiney or your money back!"
What are you doin' here, Cow?
Kickin' butt ain't for women!
At least let Crabs The Warthog watch!
He is not a woman!
All right, okay. You can tag along.
But I do not want to know you are here.
Oh, wood.
Excuse me. You Ben Panced?
Oh, yes, I have.
I want to learn the karate
'cause I was at school
and Dick beat the tar out of me.
Hey, excuse me here?
It's you!
Having bully problems, are we?
Yes.
Got a buck?
I do.
Then I'll teach Butt-Fu!
In karate,
Butt-Fu is most revered and rear-viewed.
Nice catch.
What is this called?
Beats me!
Some cool thing I saw in a movie.
Isn't it fun?
Shark!
Oh, my arm!
My head!
My navel!
Okay, now, bend over!
Your Butt-Fu belt!
Give me that dollar!
Cool. Now that guy Dick's
gonna get what's comin' to him.
I know you is followin' me, Cow.
Why don't you go play hopscotch
or somethin'?
Goody! Oh, that would be fun!
Help the poor!
Clothe the hungry! Feed the naked!
Hey, let's fight, Dick!
No can do, Chicken.
It's Saturday.
I'm raisin' money for the poor.
Great googlie-mooglie! I'm late!
Sorry, Chicken.
I have to help old
Mrs. McGoonigaigle cross the street!
Thanks, Dick! I'll see ya next Saturday!
Dick Purcelle at your service!
Come on, Dick! Let's mix it up!
Mounds of piles! The hungry veterinarian!
Open your pork chop
and have some veterinarian chow.
Here comes the airplane.
I don't get it, Dick. Why don't yous fight?
Chicken, I'm a school bully.
I only fight from nine to five,
Monday through Friday.
On weekends, I'm nice.
There I was,
working in the OFC Chicken Factory.
I was the head chicken veterinarian.
I made sure they were healthy.
I didn't know what they were doing.
O-F-C?
Ohio Fried Chicken!
Oh Mark!
Live! Live!
I lost every patient I ever had.
He needs me, Chicken. I can't fight you.
Oh, really?
Hey, Doc, I ain't feelin' so good.
No! Stop!
Oh, I is so cold.
It's happening again!
Maybe this'll warm me up, Doctor!
Oh, Doc!
I'm gettin' all crispy and golden brown!
Cut it out, man!
Not until yous fight me.
Well, okay.
My mama says your mama's large. ♪
Large as a barge. ♪
My mama says ♪
that your mama's humongous. ♪
Humongous as a fungus. ♪
My mama says ♪
Hey! You're a cruddy teacher!
I want my dollar back!
You again?
Well, you can have your money back
when you pry it from my cold,
dead wallet!
Prepare to be injured.
My mama says that your mama's ♪
My udder sense is tingling.
Big brother is in trouble!
How rude of me!
I haven't let you hit me once.
Super Cow, a la rescuettie!
Yeah! Take that!
I bow to your mastery of the martial arts.
Here's your dollar back.
Muchas gracias.
Hee-yah!
Sashimi!
Sukiyaki!
Egg roll!
All right, class. Let's take a break.
Hey, Cow! This Milk-Fu was a great idea!
Look! I made back all of the lunch money
I lost gettin' beat up!
Yeah! And your bruise is gone!
Bruise! Dear Grandma on a Stick!
This chicken has a bruise!
Clear!
No! I lost another one!
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad wad proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
Next time I ask for
your lunch money, Chicken,
you had better have exact change!
Stay still, son.
Right there, Mama!
A bruise!
Oh, Papa! He's damaged goods!
I'll never be a grandmother!
Oh, it's nothin'.
Son, it's time you learned karate.
It made a man of Mom. And me!
Our son's gonna be a karate man!
"Ben Panced School of Ka-rate.
Kick hiney or your money back!"
What are you doin' here, Cow?
Kickin' butt ain't for women!
At least let Crabs The Warthog watch!
He is not a woman!
All right, okay. You can tag along.
But I do not want to know you are here.
Oh, wood.
Excuse me. You Ben Panced?
Oh, yes, I have.
I want to learn the karate
'cause I was at school
and Dick beat the tar out of me.
Hey, excuse me here?
It's you!
Having bully problems, are we?
Yes.
Got a buck?
I do.
Then I'll teach Butt-Fu!
In karate,
Butt-Fu is most revered and rear-viewed.
Nice catch.
What is this called?
Beats me!
Some cool thing I saw in a movie.
Isn't it fun?
Shark!
Oh, my arm!
My head!
My navel!
Okay, now, bend over!
Your Butt-Fu belt!
Give me that dollar!
Cool. Now that guy Dick's
gonna get what's comin' to him.
I know you is followin' me, Cow.
Why don't you go play hopscotch
or somethin'?
Goody! Oh, that would be fun!
Help the poor!
Clothe the hungry! Feed the naked!
Hey, let's fight, Dick!
No can do, Chicken.
It's Saturday.
I'm raisin' money for the poor.
Great googlie-mooglie! I'm late!
Sorry, Chicken.
I have to help old
Mrs. McGoonigaigle cross the street!
Thanks, Dick! I'll see ya next Saturday!
Dick Purcelle at your service!
Come on, Dick! Let's mix it up!
Mounds of piles! The hungry veterinarian!
Open your pork chop
and have some veterinarian chow.
Here comes the airplane.
I don't get it, Dick. Why don't yous fight?
Chicken, I'm a school bully.
I only fight from nine to five,
Monday through Friday.
On weekends, I'm nice.
There I was,
working in the OFC Chicken Factory.
I was the head chicken veterinarian.
I made sure they were healthy.
I didn't know what they were doing.
O-F-C?
Ohio Fried Chicken!
Oh Mark!
Live! Live!
I lost every patient I ever had.
He needs me, Chicken. I can't fight you.
Oh, really?
Hey, Doc, I ain't feelin' so good.
No! Stop!
Oh, I is so cold.
It's happening again!
Maybe this'll warm me up, Doctor!
Oh, Doc!
I'm gettin' all crispy and golden brown!
Cut it out, man!
Not until yous fight me.
Well, okay.
My mama says your mama's large. ♪
Large as a barge. ♪
My mama says ♪
that your mama's humongous. ♪
Humongous as a fungus. ♪
My mama says ♪
Hey! You're a cruddy teacher!
I want my dollar back!
You again?
Well, you can have your money back
when you pry it from my cold,
dead wallet!
Prepare to be injured.
My mama says that your mama's ♪
My udder sense is tingling.
Big brother is in trouble!
How rude of me!
I haven't let you hit me once.
Super Cow, a la rescuettie!
Yeah! Take that!
I bow to your mastery of the martial arts.
Here's your dollar back.
Muchas gracias.
Hee-yah!
Sashimi!
Sukiyaki!
Egg roll!
All right, class. Let's take a break.
Hey, Cow! This Milk-Fu was a great idea!
Look! I made back all of the lunch money
I lost gettin' beat up!
Yeah! And your bruise is gone!
Bruise! Dear Grandma on a Stick!
This chicken has a bruise!
Clear!
No! I lost another one!