Empty Nest (1988) s02e17 Episode Script

Life goes on and so do we just how we do it is no mystery one by one we fill the days we find a thousand different ways Sometimes the answer can be hard to find That's something I will never be I'm always here for anything that you need Rain or shine I'll be the one to share it all as life goes on we share it all as life goes on uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Now don't be too hard on yourself, Mr.
Nash.
Your wife is out of town.
It's your first time alone with the baby.
It's a natural mistake.
Just remember, it's "when the wind blows" the cradle will rock.
" No, no, no, no, you're right, it does fall, but not until later when the bow breaks.
Right.
Bye-bye.
Here you go, my big Josh.
So how'd it go, Josh? Oh, fine, nurse Todd.
He didn't hurt you too bad? Of course I didn't hurt him, Laverne.
Yes, you did.
Well, I'm very sorry, Josh.
I'll be much more gentle next time.
- Okay, good-bye, Dr.
Weston.
- See ya.
You really gotta stop hurtin' the patients.
I didn't mean to, Laverne.
I had to put antiseptic on the cut.
Well, did you blow on it first and tell him to hold his nose and think pleasant thoughts? Of course I did.
I'm a doctor.
Well, Carol called.
She'll be workin' late.
So she won't be cooking dinner.
She made reservations for you, her, and Barbara at la petite Maison.
Oh, okay.
That sounds good.
Dr.
Weston's office.
No, Mr.
Nash, it's, "here is my handle, here is my spout.
" You're a tea kettle for lord sakes.
Why would you have a snout? This duck a I'orange is delicious.
So is my coq au vin.
How's that cheeseburger, Barbara? Good.
Barbara, you really should broaden your culinary horizons.
Yeah, and you shoulda gotten the diet plate.
What a lousy thing to don't start.
This is a restaurant.
No, you stop it or no dessert.
I can't believe that still works.
Daddy, isn't that Paula Conroy? Where? Right over there with that good-looking guy.
Oh, yeah, it is her.
Ooh, boy, she still looks good.
It's only been a year since you two were dating.
Were you expecting her to wither? No, no, no.
It's just, uh She looks good.
So go talk to her.
No, no, no, I can't.
I wouldn't know what to say.
Try "hello.
" No, she's got a date.
So what? Well, it'll be awkward.
I mean, I sort of broke up with her.
Why did you break up with her? I don't know, dear.
It was just one of those things.
Everything was getting a little too serious, and I wasn't ready, so Then we lost touch, and probably better that way.
No, it's definitely, definitely better that way.
Well, if that's how you feel.
That is how I feel.
Thank you.
And we'll just have a nice, normal dinner, then we'll put our jackets over our heads and we'll sneak out the back door.
Eh, she cut her hair.
It's a little shorter.
Oh, it looks good.
Daddy, you obviously want to talk to her.
No, Carol, i I think she spotted me.
Oh, hi, Paula.
She wants me to join them.
So go.
Oh, this is gonna be very awkward.
I think I like her hair better this way.
Hello.
Harry, it's so good to see you.
Paula, it's so nice to see you.
I didn't realize you were here.
I would have come over much sooner.
Harry, this is tom cummings.
Tom.
Tom is my cousin.
So nice to meet you! Well, Paula, dear, you look absolutely Terrific.
You look pretty nice yourself.
Well, thank you.
You look good too, tom.
You think so? I just threw this together.
Well, uh, gee, Paula, there's so much I would like to talk with you about.
I mean, maybe some Or this Saturday oh, I'd like that.
Oh, good, Saturday.
Saturday.
Oh, good, good.
Well, I'll I'll I'll call you.
You still have my number? Oh, ho, y-yeah, s-sure.
You look good, tom.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
I'll take this one back.
Barbie-Barb? If you're not wearing your lime-green jacket on your date tonight, can I wear it on mine? Yeah, but I don't know where it is.
Oh, I'll find it.
How do I look? You look great.
Paula is one lucky lady.
Ha.
Oh, you look very nice, daddy.
Ah, you girls wouldn't tell me if I did look bad.
I would.
You look wonderful, daddy.
Ugh, I don't know.
I don't know.
Let me see.
Hi, guys.
Maybe you should get one of those full-length toasters.
We all have dates tonight.
Uh, Charley, this is not a good time.
Well, I'll make it quick.
I just have to ask you one question.
Okay, fine, fine.
What is it? What's perestroika? What? Well, I got a date with that cute anchor lady, channel 12, and I'm thinking the subject of the news may come up.
Charley, perestroika is, uh, gorbachev's plan for restructuring the Soviet economy.
Oh, right, thanks.
Who's gorbachev? Oh, man, I'm in trouble.
Harry, I pick her up at the studio after the 11:00 news.
Now, how do I become knowledgeable about world affairs between now and then? I don't know that that's possible, Charley, but you could watch the news, and, I don't know, read a paper.
The paper, good idea.
Hey, what's Dennis the menace doing on the front page? Charley, that's our vice president.
Oh.
And then I went out with an older woman, my first date with an older woman.
And how was that? Well, not too good.
I mean, her idea of small talk was going through the menu at the restaurant and dividing all the dishes into bulk and binding.
Oh, Harry, you're just as funny as ever.
What about you? Any special relationships? Oh, not really.
No, I-i saw one man for a few months, but we were too different.
What? I was thinking about that time you took me to the Mel torme concert.
Oh, yeah.
It was a great concert.
Harry, we missed it.
Don't you remember you went to the wrong auditorium? You sure that was me? I told you that I thought it was at the music hall, and you insisted it was at the civic center.
I don't think that was me.
And I'll never forget your face.
When we pulled up at the civic center and there wasn't a single car in the lot.
Paula, it's just possible that I was right and Mel and the crowd went to the wrong place.
But as I recall, I made that up to you.
Yes, you did.
We stayed in the car in the empty parking lot, and you sang Mel torme songs to me all night.
It was a wonderful concert.
Yeah, it was.
Oh, Harry, I've missed talking with you.
I don't think I've ever felt more comfortable with a man.
I feel the same way.
It's as though no time has passed between us at all.
Except for tonight.
Tonight's time has passed, I think, much too quickly.
Ah, I should go.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Mm.
- Mm.
Goodnight, Harry.
Goodnight, Paula.
Or, as Mel torme would say, good Night.
Dreyfuss, I'm home.
Oh, dreyf, I just had such a night.
Let me see if I can put it in terms that you can understand.
Oh, ho.
Hi.
Hi, sweetheart.
How was your date? Okay.
Judging by the look on your face, your evening went good.
Good doesn't begin to describe it.
It was Goooooood.
I'm glad, daddy.
I really like Paula.
Yeah.
Well, Carol's still out.
Maybe she finally had a decent date.
The odds almost dictate it.
What's going on? Hi, Carol, dear.
How was your, uh, blind date? Guess.
Daddy had a great date.
Oh, really? Yeah, sure, there's something very special about Paula.
I mean, she's very classy and elegant, yet not at all pretentious.
I mean, even the way she gets into a car.
Perfect.
Uh-huh, and like when she sneezes.
It's always three in a row.
Cute little ones.
What? You're falling in love.
Ahhhh, no.
Daddy, she's right.
You have all the classic signs.
No, I can't be falling in love.
This is our first date in a year.
That means nothing.
I've fallen in love with men I've never even been out with.
They just said, "paper or plastic," and I melted.
Nah, nah, nah.
I don't know.
Nah, I don't know.
Daddy, would you like to call her right now and hear the sound of her voice, even though you left her half an hour ago? Yeah, I guess I would.
I don't know.
And have you sniffed the lapels of your jacket for some scent of her perfume? You can do that? Okay, all right, no.
I mean, yes, Paula is absolutely wonderful.
I'm not denying that, but I'm a long way from falling in love, okay? Okay.
Okay, daddy.
Goodnight.
Night.
Ooh, you can do that.
Now, Mr.
Nash, I think you're overreacting.
Just because the baby can't pronounce da-da doesn't mean she doesn't love you.
Well, mama's different.
It comes a lot easier off the tongue.
Really? She has no problem saying consuela? Well, listen, call me again if you have any more problemas.
Problems.
- So how was lunch? - Wonderful.
Laverne, you remember Paula Conroy.
Hello, Paula.
Oh, Laverne, Laverne, Laverne, watch this! You're gonna love this! Did you see that? Delightful.
Harry, I have to get back to the office.
Uh, listen, how 'bout, uh How about dinner and a movie tonight? No, I really shouldn't.
I've got too much work to do.
Please, West Side story is playing at the Beverly.
Afterwards, we could pretend to be Tony and Maria.
I'll be Tony.
All right, how can I resist an offer like that? Great, I'll see you at 6:00.
- Bye, Laverne.
- Bye-bye.
Thank you for lunch.
I can't believe you didn't think that sneeze was cute.
Why didn't you tell her that sneeze was cute? I refuse to be a participant at your sorry attempts at erotic byplay.
If I'da wanted that, now, I'da accepted that job as nurse at the playboy mansion.
They have a nurse at the playboy mansion? Nah, it's a boring job.
Mostly chafin'.
So tell me, Laverne.
What do you think of Paula? I think you're awful sweet on her.
Oh, not you, too.
Everyone's telling me I'm falling in love.
Well, if cupid's little diaper fits, wear it.
Hi, Harry.
Hi, Charley.
How are you? Worried, Harry.
Worried that without debt restructuring, many of our Latin American neighbors won't be able to overcome their fiscal woes.
Charley, you've been reading the paper.
I guess things are going very well with your anchor lady.
No, you know, that's the crazy thing.
Our date was a disaster.
You know, I hit her with that opening line I prepared.
"The potential reunification of Germany, "along with the rise of the European common market, "make a reformulation of the Marshall plan "a necessity.
Nice dress.
" Good one.
That's what I thought.
You know what she said? Hmm? "What's the Marshall plan?" Turns out my anchor lady knows nothing about the news.
She just, like, reads the stuff, you know, and hands it over to the weatherman.
Who, by the way, is gonna be on circus of the stars next week.
Ah, Charley, I'm sorry things didn't work out with your anchor lady, but I think it's very good that you learned something about current affairs.
Good? I've never been so bummed out in my life.
Did you know there's a hole in the ozone layer, that the tropical forests are being destroyed, and there's a global warming that's threatening life as we know it? Is that radon? Charley, I would like to continue this conversation, but, uh, I've got a date.
- Paula again? - Yeah.
Uh-huh.
What do you think of that? Wow.
That looks pretty expensive.
Not really.
Of course, if there's no flu epidemic this year, I may have to sell the house.
You know, it sounds to me like you're falling in love with this woman.
Everybody keeps on saying that to me.
I'm falling in love.
- Are ya? - I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe, I don't I sure like being with her.
I was in love once.
Charley, you? Don't tell anybody.
You'll ruin my image.
Yeah, I was I was in love once.
It was a long time ago.
It was spring, and she was everything I ever wanted in a woman.
Beautiful I wanted to marry her, Harry.
Me, I asked her to marry me.
What happened? Gee, I don't remember.
That's a very moving story, Charley.
But I've gotta get dressed for my date.
Oh, great.
Just what Angola needs.
Another rebel faction.
Yes.
I don't care how many times I see West Side story.
It is still wonderful.
It is a great musical.
Though it's very hard to take a street gang seriously that pirouettes its way to a rumble.
Very hard.
How about an after-dinner drink? Yes, I think I would like that very much.
Thank you.
Nothing strong, though, please.
I have to drive home.
I do, uh, have to drive home, don't I? Yes.
Yes, oh, I know.
I just Paula, dear, I have a confession to make.
The other night at the restaurant, when you waved at me, I had seen you much earlier, and I'd decided not to come over.
I thought it was Kind of best to leave things with us the way they were.
Oh? And now I thank god i I blew up that salad.
Otherwise, we wouldn't be here.
Carol's always telling me how Freud says there are no accidents.
And I never put much stock in that before.
But now, I don't know.
What do you think? I think Freud was probably right.
Frankly, I think the man is highly overrated.
I just think he got lucky with those last 40, Oh, Paula.
You're so wonderful.
And accident or not, meeting you at that restaurant the other night was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
You make me a very happy fellow.
And I thank you for that.
And I would like you to have this.
Harry, I can't accept that.
Of course you can.
No, I can't.
Oh, this is difficult.
Oh, I don't think I like the sound of this.
Harry, last year when we were seeing each other, I would have adored a gift like this.
Ah, there is someone else, isn't there? No, there's no one.
Then what? I don't know.
Things change, people change.
I mean, a year ago, you weren't ready for a relationship.
Now I am.
And now I'm not.
Harry, I don't know how to explain it.
You're the same wonderful man I loved a year ago.
Maybe there's no going back.
Maybe it's as simple as that.
I wanted to go back.
When I saw you in the restaurant the other night, I wanted so badly to go back.
No, Paula.
See, I just assumed that you would always feel towards me the way you did a year ago.
And now that I was ready, you would still be there for me.
Never occurred to me that you might have moved on.
Oh, Harry, I wish you could've felt this way a year ago.
For a guy who you think is very funny, I have pretty lousy timing.
Well, come on.
You know All last week, everybody was telling me that I was falling in love with you, and I-i wasn't sure.
And now I know they were right, because, I mean, I can feel my heart breaking.
Oh, Harry.
No, it's all right, dear.
I plagiarized that from the tin man in the wizard of oz.
Harry, you are one of the dearest people I've ever known.
I don't want to lose you as a friend.
We can still be friends, can't we? Just friends, dear? I-I don't think I could handle just friends right now.
Sorry.
So am I.
Ah, this is crazy.
I mean, you love me, I'm not ready to love you.
I love you, you're not ready to love me.
Well, there's always a hope that someday we'll hate each other's guts and finally get together.
Bye-bye, dear.
Bye, Harry.
Hi, daddy.
How was your date? Uh, not too good.
It's over between Paula and me.
What happened? Why? Timing.
Oh, daddy, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, thank you, dear.
Daddy, I know this hurts now, but I promise you, in time, when you look back on it, you'll see that it worked out for the best.
Think so? I know so.
And daddy, okay, so it didn't work out with Paula.
But you're a wonderful guy.
There'll be someone else that'll come along.
You'll see.
You girls are good.
Where'd you get all this wisdom? From you.
Oh.
That's what you always tell us when our relationships don't work out.
And you buy that? Of course not.
That's where the pound cake comes in.
Well, I'm afraid pound cake's not gonna help me.
This Oh, this really hurts.
There is one other thing you tell us that does help.
What's that? We love you.
Ohhh.
That does help.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, and girls Both: Yes? Would you get the pound cake, please?