I Didn't Do It (2014) s02e17 Episode Script

Here you go.
One Protein Berry Workout, one Orange Carrot Karma, hold the karma, and one Fruitapalooza, extra palooza.
Welcome to Rumblejuice.
What can I get you? Can I just say, I am very impressed - with your customer service skills.
- Sure.
I am very impressed with your customer service skills.
Tim Thomas, manager of J.
R.
Stuff 'N' Stuff.
Is that the place in the mall where they stuff food into other food? That's right.
You know, I think you could be Stuff 'N' Stuff material.
Are you offering me a job? I'm offering you a job stuffed into a raise.
Well, thanks, but I don't know if I want to leave Rumblejuice.
I'm actually pretty happy here.
Garrett, something died in the trash can out back.
Get rid of it, take care of the stink.
Maybe I should get your card.
- Oh, hi, I - Sit.
- Name.
- Peanut.
Your name is Peanut? No, no, no.
I'm Lindy Watson.
He is Peanut.
Peanut Watson.
I don't know if he should take my last name.
I'm just the foster parent.
And I'm just a lady who doesn't care.
I'm sorry, doctor, I didn't catch your name.
I'm not the doctor.
I'm the vet tech.
My name is Candy.
Oh.
Candy because you're sweet? Or not.
Hi.
I'm Dr.
Gabriel.
Oh, I'm Lindy.
This is Peanut.
Oh, and Candy, a German shepherd in room three left you a little present.
Do you have to say that with a smile? I can't help it; it brings me pleasure.
And what did I tell you about bossing me around? Well, you told me that I shouldn't do it, then I told you I was your boss, and then you said some things that I can't repeat in front of the client.
- What I said was - Thank you, Candy.
That'll be all.
I'll tell you on your way out.
It's a good story.
I'm sorry.
You're Dr.
Gabriel? Yeah.
Call me Scott.
You seem a little young to be a vet.
How old are you? - I'm 17.
- How is that possible? I was born 17 years ago.
No, I meant the doctor part.
Oh, well, I graduated high school when I was nine, I finished college at 12, and then, I went to vet school.
You're so young to have a full-time job.
What do you do for fun? Are you asking me out? What? No.
That's too bad.
I would've said yes.
I mean, in this job, I don't get to meet a lot of people my age, especially cute girl people.
Are you asking me out? No.
That would be unethical to do at work.
Stay here, I'll call you from the parking lot.
No, you don't have to.
The answer's yes.
Oh.
Awesome.
Then I guess my work is done here.
Oh, right, I'm a vet.
So Peanut's getting adopted tomorrow and just here for a check-up.
All right.
Let's take a look.
What are you doing with that? I'm gonna check Peanut's teeth.
But I like to go in through the fun end.
Yeah, you think his eyes are buggin' out now.
I'm kidding.
Don't tell me, tell Peanut.
Excuse me, Mrs.
Clegg.
Hold on.
Just seein' if I can get my hair any bigger.
No, I cannot.
Okay, what can I do for you? Well, since you're the sponsor of the pep club, I just thought, um Since I'm the vice-president of the pep club I stopped looking at myself for this? What she's trying to say is, she wants to be president of the pep club.
You think you've got what it takes after what happened to the last president? What happened? Amber ran out of pep halfway through the year.
She pepped out.
It happens.
Well, that won't happen with me.
I know how to pace my pep.
I'm a pep pacer.
Well, as you know, there is no election.
I appoint the president.
Hey, you're like a dictator with big hair.
Following a one-on-one interview, I do a thorough background check.
Make sure there's no skeletons in your closet.
All you'll find in my closet are some very fashion-forward outfits.
Unlike what you wear, which is a different way to go.
Do something about that.
I'm a little cold.
Are you? No, I'm good.
- Did you want to turn the heat up? - No.
Oh! Oh.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm a little slow on the uptake.
Oh, my gosh.
I know you.
You're You're Who are you? I'm Scott.
Yeah, I knew it.
You're Dr.
Scott Gabriel.
- He's famous.
- Wait, you are? He was on the cover of Modern Dog magazine.
Actually, there's a poodle on the cover, but there's a little picture of him in the corner.
Yeah, you know, my face was tiny, but still adorable.
Linds, take a picture of us.
Okay, now let's do a serious one.
Okay, now goofy faces.
That's enough.
Kind of in the middle of a date here.
A date? No way.
He's goin' out with you? This is my brother.
We're very close.
You realize you're on a date with the youngest vet in America, right? Wow, you read the whole article.
Dude, you're an inspiration.
Oh, do you want to be a vet? No, I wanna be in a magazine.
Okay, Logan.
Thanks for stopping by.
You're welcome.
Don't blow this.
Sorry about that.
No, it's okay.
Yeah, I like him.
He reminds me of a golden retriever I know.
Not a great thinker, but very loyal.
Still cold.
Oh, oh.
Sorry.
Betty, can I talk to you for a second? Kinda busy with my smoothie store.
Looks like you're playing a game.
Yeah, it's a game called Smoothie Store.
It eases the stress of running my actual smoothie store.
Hey, you need to order more straws.
This is so fun.
Meanwhile, back in the real smoothie store I got a job offer.
You already have a job.
I know, but they offered me more money.
If you'd be willing to match their offer, I could stay.
You know, a similar thing just came up in my smoothie game.
An employee asked me for a raise.
- What happened? - He wound up in the blender.
Well, if you're not gonna match their offer, I guess I have no choice but to quit.
You know that once you quit, you can never come back.
You'll be dead to me.
I know.
I read the employee handbook.
I hope you understand it's not personal.
That's what the kid in the blender said.
Garrett.
Welcome to the J.
R.
Stuff 'N' Stuff family.
Tim, thank you for this great opportunity.
I'm really happy to join the exciting world of food inside other food.
Glad to have you aboard.
I'm ready to jump in.
Do you have a uniform? Oh, no, no uniform.
We've got something special for you.
You hired me to be a hot dog? No, a hot dog stuffed into a taco.
Or as we call it, the tac-dog.
Oh, that makes it better.
Now say, "Who wants to bite into a tasty tac-dog?" Who wants to bite into a tasty tac-dog? Ow! He bit me.
Fantastic.
The customers are already responding.
Keep going.
Who wants to bite into a tasty tac-dog? Ow! Stop that! Hey, you guys, what's going on? Oh, that's nice.
I went on a date! - That's awesome, Linds.
- Tell us everything.
Well, his name is Scott.
He's 17, he's really nice, has two cars, and he's a doctor.
Whoa.
Guess it's time to stop bragging about Brandon's bicycle and paper route.
Oh, now it's time.
He's a veterinarian, and he's so cute.
I can't wait for you guys to meet him.
Brandon fell off his bike, and now his face is all scabby.
Hey, guys.
Hey, Lindy.
- Hi.
- This is my friend Scott.
Is this your Scott? Yeah.
Hey, Logan, can I talk to you for a second? I'm Delia, and this is Jasmine.
I'm sure Lindy's told you all about us.
Yeah, she talks about you guys all the time.
Which one of you is dating the paperboy? So why are you hanging out with Scott? Lots of reasons.
He was in a magazine, I wanna be in a magazine.
We have a lot in common.
Yeah, but I mean, Scott and I have only had one date.
I'm just getting to know him.
What do you wanna know? Favorite color, green, favorite food, pizza.
Favorite friend, me.
I'm really glad you like him.
But if you're hanging with Scott, that's time I don't get to spend with him.
Linds, look, there's plenty of Scott to go around.
Not today, though.
We're booked solid.
Just got a text from Brandon.
His scab's infected.
You okay, Aunt Betty? Of course I'm okay.
What are you talking about? Well, you're not yelling or insulting anyone.
When that old guy slipped and fell on the floor, you didn't even laugh.
For some reason, it just seemed sad this time.
Why don't you play your smoothie game? That always cheers you up.
Can't.
I've blended all my employees.
You know what I think? I think you're unhappy 'cause you miss Garrett.
Are you kidding? What is there to miss? That stupid laugh, that goofy smile.
The annoying way he always washes Excuse me, I got something in my eye.
Great.
Now I gotta get involved.
First question.
Why do you want to be president of the pep club? During my time as pep club vice-president, I found that having Okay, thanks for coming in.
We're done, that's it? I know all I need to know, lamb chop.
I did that little background check on you, and I'm afraid it revealed some very disturbing things.
Like what? Earlier this year, at a school assembly, you failed to put your hand over your heart during the pledge of allegiance.
My arm was in a sling.
A real peppy gal would've pledged through the pain.
But what really sealed your fate was that rogue cheerleading squad that you and your friends created.
Still mad about that, huh? You mean when you humiliated me in front of the principal? Little bit.
If you were never gonna give me the job, why did you make me go through all this? Because the more excited you are, the more fun it is to crush your dreams.
Y'all have a nice day now.
Hey, where are you going? Scott's coming by.
I'm gonna surprise him with tickets to Wrestle-zania.
You hogged him all day yesterday.
I bought us tickets to the planetarium.
Maybe you should've checked with me first.
Why do I have to check with you? You should check with me.
Scott and I are gonna laugh about this when we're at Wrestle-zania.
Logan, we talked about this.
Yesterday, I asked nicely.
Today, I'm gonna ask not nicely.
Stay away from him.
Finders keepers, losers weepers.
Stop acting like a child.
And I saw him first.
Okay, well, if I'm a child, then you're a little bitty baby.
I know you are, but what am I? - You're selfish.
- I know you are, but what am I? - You're a dum-dum.
- I know you are, but what am I? You got an answer for everything! Hey, man.
- Hi.
- Hi.
So what are we doin' tonight? Uh, well, the thing is, we both invited you over without telling each other.
Oh.
I thought we were all doing something together.
Yeah, that's not how we roll.
I bought us tickets to this amazing planetarium show, and Logan bought tickets to a wrestling match.
Which one would you rather go to? Kind of put me in the middle here.
What if we all just picked one thing? I don't wanna do his/her stupid thing.
You guys really are twins.
Okay, come on, buddy, let's go.
- He's coming with me.
- No, he isn't.
- Yes, he is.
- No way.
- Let him go.
- You let him go.
Ow! Ow, ow.
Okay, you guys just dislocated my shoulder.
See what you did! No, see what you did.
So this is why you wanted to come to the mall.
I bring people together.
It's kinda my thing.
Look at him.
That is so sad.
And so hilarious at the same time.
I see the spider has left her web.
And I see the ungrateful employee has ended up in something worse than a blender.
Okay, it's obvious you two miss each other.
Now work it out.
I'm gettin' a pud-zel.
- What's that? - It's a pudding-stuffed pretzel.
So how's the new job? I could lie and say great.
But the truth is, I'm miserable.
Well, I could make fun of you, but this isn't even a challenge.
Then why are you here? It was Kevin's idea.
As long as I am here, any chance you'd like your job back? But you said I'd be dead to you.
What about the handbook? The handbook is for employees.
You're family.
I'd love to come back.
And I missed you, too.
I didn't say I missed you.
I said you're family.
The pud-zel messy but delicious.
So I just wanna apologize, and say I'm really embarrassed for the way I acted.
Well, no harm, no foul.
Oh, wait, there was harm.
You got another visitor.
Should I let the dachshund that's prepped and ready for surgery know you're busy? I'll be right there.
Okay, I'll tell him to keep clinging to life.
What are you doing here? I came to apologize.
Well, I forgive you.
Now get out.
Not to you.
To Scott.
I'm the one who dislocated his shoulder.
You don't get all the credit.
That socket wouldn't have popped out without me on the other side.
Okay, I have to get to surgery, so I'm gonna make this fast.
Lindy, you and I will not be going on any more dates.
Yes! Logan, you and I will not be hanging out anymore.
Ha ha, in your face, loser! I know you are, but what am I? Yeah, that's right.
I figured it out.
You know, I was always a young kid who had to act older.
You guys are older kids who act younger.
Maybe you should look at that.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go perform surgery on a wiener dog.
What? I'm still a kid.
What is wrong with us? I know.
I thought we outgrew this kinda stuff.
Scott is right.
We're acting like five-year-olds when there's only one ice cream left in the freezer.
There's an ice cream in the freezer? I guess no matter how old we get, we're always gonna be brother and sister.
Yeah.
We used to fight like this all the time.
At least we've made some progress.
Yeah, that's true.
Hey, you know what? I think we actually do have an ice cream at home.
You can have it, sis.
Nah, you can have it, bro.
Okay, I will.
Thanks.
I was just being nice.
Get back here, loser! Hello, Clegg.
What in the Sam Hill is goin' on here? We'd like to reopen my bid to be pep club president.
You girls realize you're walking down Detention Avenue on your way to Suspension Highway? I love to hear you talk Texas.
It's so authentic.
Yeah, but guess what.
We did a little background check on you, and we learned some interesting things, Mrs.
Clegg.
Or should we use your real name? Mary Ann Narducci from Secaucus, New Jersey.
Well, I'm sure I have no idea what y'all are talkin' about.
Cut the act, Jersey girl, we're on to you.
All right, you got me.
It's true, I'm from Jersey, born and raised.
Then why were you pretending you're from Texas? You wanna be in the pep business, you cannot be from Secaucus.
So you just made up the whole Mrs.
Clegg thing.
Unbelievable.
I fought like a dog to get where I am.
Youse two gonna keep my secret, right? - Depends.
- On what? On whether I'm named pep club president.
Congratulations, madam president! Yes! Wait, I gotta do that peppier.
Yes!! Hey, I have some cousins in Jersey.
Do you know the Delfanos from South Orange? Are you kidding me? My cousin married a Delfano.
Jimmy Delfano.
Jimmy Delfano? Get outta here.
They met down the shore at a Bon Jovi concert.
A Bon Jovi concert? Get outta here.
- No, you get outta here.
- You get outta here.
I'm gettin' outta here.
Dad!