MacGyver (2016) s02e17 Episode Script
Bear Trap + Mob Boss
1 Previously on MacGyver MacGYVER: Matty? No, no, no.
JACK: I need help breaking into Matty Webber's personal safe.
We're gonna have to make this look like an old-fashioned smash and grab.
This is Matty's unredacted personnel file.
Matty lied to me.
She did know my father.
JACK [GRUNTS.]
: This isn't my fault.
MacGYVER: I never said it was.
You didn't have to say it out loud.
I can tell by the look on your face.
[SNEEZES.]
See? There it is again that look.
- You do blame me.
- For what? Sneezing at the exact moment we were gonna grab Sergei, turning what should have been an easy extraction into whatever-whatever this is? If I'm sneezing, it's 'cause you made me wear this stupid camouflage suit.
You know I'm allergic to oak.
Which is why I didn't use oak in the suit.
Well, then, it's got to be something else, then, I'm a [SNEEZES.]
At this point, you should just take it off.
Riley.
Where are you at? He's getting away.
- Where are you? - RILEY [OVER COMM.]
: On your six, Jack.
I'm trying to get this guy before he goes off the road.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Get down.
Get down from there.
Don't climb that.
- What? - Look around you.
Okay, I don't speak Ukrainian, but this sign, in any language, is bad news.
Where are we right now? - Chernobyl.
- Chernobyl? Nobody told me we were going to Chernobyl.
I guess it would make sense.
It's been 30 years, right? That's long enough.
Right? We're all good? By now, most of the strontium-90's probably all good, but plutonium's half-life, depending on the isotope, is anywhere between 80 and 24,000 years.
So that little brain vomit just told me this whole place is still leaking radiation? - Yeah.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
We don't have a choice.
Nobody told me we were coming here.
I know, but we don't have a choice.
After you.
Okay.
15 minutes of silence makes it official.
- Jack.
- Mm-hmm.
You broke Mac.
How is this my fault? You're the one that asked him what he was gonna do with the information when he found it.
True, but you're the one who gave him the new info.
It was you that broke into Matty's house and found her unredacted file, so, technically, this is your fault.
No.
Technically, this is Matty's fault.
She's the one that lied to him, not me.
[SCOFFS.]
Hey, Mac.
How you doing, man? JACK: Hey, listen, man.
I know there's got to be a million thoughts swirling around in that brain of yours.
And I can't say I blame you, but we called this little family meeting here to discuss what's in the file, not stare at you while you thought about it.
I just I don't know what to say.
Matty didn't just lie about knowing my father, turns out, January 2000, she was investigating him for the CIA.
Yeah, that's a lot to process, Mac, but that's why we're here, - to help you figure out what to do next.
- That's right.
What is the next step? Confront her about it? Yeah.
I-In my experience, the word confront and Matty, in the same sentence, doesn't really equal a good time.
I can tell you that much.
I can't just ignore this.
She already lied to me once.
But she can't deny this, Mac.
I mean, Jack found actual proof she was investigating your dad.
No.
We found proof that Matty was compiling a dossier.
We have no idea what was in the actual report.
Well, hopefully, Riley not being here means our little keyboard commando found something, so we just sit tight, all right? Chill out.
What, you guys started without me? Yeah, the meeting was at 10:00 a.
m.
, Big Ben.
You know how I feel about punctuality.
Well, sorry, Jack.
Next time you ask me to hack every U.
S.
intelligence agency without setting off all the alarms, I'll be sure to do it by the completely arbitrary time you picked.
Okay, that'd be great, thanks.
Any luck on the report? No.
I swept through every government server, and I found nothing.
Either that report on your dad is so top secret, no one has access to it, or it simply doesn't exist anymore.
It doesn't make any sense.
My dad was an inventor, he was a scientist.
Wh Why was Matty investigating him? More importantly, why did she lie to me about it? Okay, I hate to be the one to say it, but after Thornton, someone has to.
Can we even still trust Matty? I I've known Matty longer than anybody else here, and it's no secret that our relationship is-is less than perfect.
But it doesn't change the fact that I do trust her.
I-I really do.
Always have.
Did she lie to you? Yeah.
Yeah.
But my guess is she probably has a pretty good reason for it.
Think about it.
Yeah, I mean, is Isn't it possible she may have lied to protect you? [SIGHS.]
I guess.
- But protect me from what? - BOZER: I don't know.
But whatever it is, Matty probably thinks she's doing what's best.
- I got to talk to her right now.
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
Oh.
Now may be turning into later.
Yeah, boss lady just put up the Bat-Signal.
You're gonna have to cool your jets for now, dude.
Me, you, and Riley are wheels up in 30.
She's going to brief us in flight.
What about me? Hmm? Well, you'll report to Matty at the Phoenix.
Wait, so I'm supposed to, what, act normal around Matty after this? - Yeah, that's right.
- Yeah, till we get back.
I want to talk to her myself.
Which means you're gonna have to pretend like none of this ever happened.
JACK: Yeah, we're counting on you, Boze.
Guys, Matty just told me she knew all about my secret spy-school girlfriend before even Riley did.
That woman is a human lie detector.
One look into my baby browns and she'll know.
What am I supposed to do? Try not to look her in the eye.
Huh? Man.
MATTY: Guys meet Dmitry Pavlovich, head of the Ukrainian mob.
Since 2004, the U.
S.
has suspected Dmitry of supplementing his income by allowing international terrorist groups to move weapons and contraband through his trade routes.
So, someone's been lying to us for years, and we finally found proof? Exactly.
The U.
S.
has never been able to directly link Dmitry to these terrorist groups until a month ago, when the CIA flipped someone inside of Dmitry's organization This mystery of evolution, Sergei, the lackey that worked for Dmitry and the mob.
Plans were arranged for Sergei to meet with a CIA handler to turn over all the necessary info to dismantle Dmitry's entire organization.
But then the word got out, and Dmitry green-lit Sergei Am I right? Yeah, and the moment the Ukrainian mob started hunting Sergei, he fell off the grid, refusing any further contact with the CIA.
So you're sending us in to find him.
Actually, we already did.
Phoenix intercepted messages between Sergei and a forger, who agreed to make him fake travel documents.
We have the time and location of the meeting.
So, this is a simple extraction? Done and done.
There's nothing simple about this, Jack, or the CIA would have handled it themselves.
The Ukrainian mob is very invested in hunting Sergei, and he knows it.
He's gonna be extremely skittish.
Right, so don't spook him.
Got it.
MacGYVER: You spooked him.
You spooked him! [SNEEZES.]
[GRUNTING.]
JACK: Man, I got two arms, two legs, and no horn growing out of the center of my forehead.
- I'd like to keep it that way.
- Relax.
We're on the edge of the exclusion zone.
Way far away from the reactor.
The radiation's not that bad out here.
Which is exactly why I don't want to go any further.
Stop.
Hang on a second.
Now, being attacked by irradiated mutants that you've pissed off is not on my to-do list, sorry.
There's no such thing as irradiated mutants.
Most people who get exposed to too much radiation, they just lose all their hair and die.
Well, that doesn't make me feel any better.
- [METALLIC SNAP.]
- [MAN SCREAMS.]
- What the hell is that? - Come on.
[GRUNTS.]
Ooh.
That's not good.
Mac, why would a radioactive bear trap snag Sergei? I don't know.
[VEHICLE DRIVING AWAY.]
But whatever pulled him out of it is taking him deeper into the exclusion zone.
You mean deeper into the zone oozing with radiation.
Same one.
- - [RUSTED METAL SQUEAKING.]
MATTY [OVER COMM.]
: You lost Sergei in Chernobyl? How do you lose someone in Chernobyl? It's deserted.
You guys are basically the only ones around for miles.
Yeah, well, tell that to the people who just caught Sergei in a bear trap and then dragged him into a car.
MATTY: So, who took him, and where is he now? Yeah, I mean, who uses bear traps? Is that a Ukrainian mob thing? No, I just think there are bears in these woods.
Yeah, mutant bears.
Some six-eyed freak is probably making a midafternoon snack of Sergei's face right now, just [MAKES MONSTROUS EATING SOUNDS.]
I don't think it was six-eyed freaks, Jack, just like I don't think it was the mob, Bozer.
They didn't know where Sergei was, and even if they did, why would they take him deeper into the exclusion zone? It just doesn't make any sense.
So, if it's not the mob, then who has him? Well, that is the million-dollar question now, isn't it, Bozer? - Hey, Riley? - Yeah.
Anything o-o-on tracking Sergei's phone? Sorry, Jack.
Been a little busy pushing around this piece of crap after it ran out of gas.
Yeah, why didn't you get rid of this thing? Well, I don't know.
I thought we might need it.
Figured Mac could mix dirt with rainwater or something and make gas.
Well, dirt and water make mud, sweetie, not gas.
RILEY: All right.
Sergei's phone is either off or broken.
Tracking's not gonna happen.
Which means our only lead are these tire tracks.
You mean the ones that head to nuclear meltdown headquarters? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Matty, where does this road lead exactly? It looks like that dirt road leads to an abandoned town up ahead.
Maybe that's where Sergei was taken.
JACK: Yeah, maybe.
How far into the exclusion zone is this town exactly? MATTY: A few miles.
Oh, and before you start complaining, Dalton, let me remind you: the sooner you get Sergei, the sooner you get out of there.
So, if I were you, I'd start walking.
Yeah, yeah, kind of figured that.
So how much radiation we talking about here, man? I mean, is it the good kind where you get superpowers? Or the bad kind where you're super dead? Yeah, well, there is no good kind.
- Mm-hmm.
- But we are ten away miles away from the site of the nuclear meltdown, so levels of the bad kind should be safe.
But just to put your little mind at ease, I have whipped up something that will help us monitor these levels of radiation, and it is my Geiger counter.
Your MacGeiger counter.
That's a little conceited of you.
Well, that's what he said.
That's what he called it.
Radiation sickness I can deal with.
- He's getting big-headed.
- Your puns I cannot.
- Okay.
- Okay? - Okay.
- Okay.
- [CLICKING.]
- Nice.
Is it supposed to already be clicking like that? Yeah.
It's what it's supposed to do Pick up levels of radiation.
Right now it's just low background levels.
[CLICKING.]
Seriously? I'm just kidding.
[LAUGHS.]
I mean, it's picking up levels, but they're just low.
Trust me, when it gets bad, you'll know.
It's very reassuring.
Hey, Bozer.
Bozer.
Unless you're about to tell me that we need new ceiling tiles, I need you to look at me.
You may be wondering why I had you stay behind.
Me? Nah.
I don't really wonder about things.
As I imagine you must have heard, there was a break-in at my house last week.
Yeah, I heard.
I-I'm sorry.
Do the cops have any leads on who did it? No, none, which is why I want your help.
Since you did such a good job solving the break-in at Jack's, I would like you to do the same for me.
Uh yeah, sure.
I'm on it, Matty.
Good.
Don't let me down, Bozer.
JACK: Ooh, all this radiation We're probably gonna develop a superpower or something, right? Huh? I mean, I've always considered myself a cross between Captain America and Superman, like America Man.
No, no.
No.
Super Cap.
- That's-that's actually better.
- [LAUGHS.]
I was wondering how far we'd get before he started this.
Mac, uh, you'll develop telekinesis.
You're practically Professor X as it is.
And Riley invisibility.
Ooh.
Okay.
Because? Because it fits your personality, I don't know.
It's not an exact science.
It's not science at all.
Radiation doesn't give you powers.
It kills you.
You-you can't prove a double negative.
[SIGHS.]
Actually, I'm pretty sure I can prove this one, but the math would bore you - after three seconds, though.
- Look, look, I'm just trying to find any upside to being stuck in this radioactive wasteland.
Like, for example, you being here means you can't storm into Matty's office all hot and bothered and confront her.
You don't think he should talk to Matty? I mean, don't-don't you think he deserve answers? Sure he does.
But this isn't a situation you can go into all half-cocked.
Look, I know you like to make up stuff on the fly, and that may be fine when it comes to bombs and terrorists, but this is Matty the Hun we're talking about here.
You can't improvise your way through this one.
You're gonna need a plan.
You know things are bad when Jack Dalton's the voice of reason.
Yeah.
That maybe that's my superpower.
Look, I appreciate the concern, but it's kind of hard to plan when I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that Matty was investigating my father.
I used to think he was just some eccentric scientist who chickened out after my mom died, and then bailed on me.
But now? Now I don't even know who my father is.
Why was the CIA investigating him in the first place? Did he get caught up with the wrong people? And if he did, is that the reason that he left? Whoa.
[SNEEZES.]
- Geez.
- Sorry.
All the stuff you've come up against in your career, and you can't beat mutant pollen? Hey, hey, I-I bet there's 30 years of worth of pollen in this town.
Tire tracks end where the asphalt begins.
Guess we can say good-bye to that trail we were following.
Oh, come on, you guys, do you really think he's in this town? I don't think anybody's in this town.
Most towns around Chernobyl were abandoned after the reactor exploded.
[ALARMS BLARING.]
Why is my Spidey-sense telling me we're being watched right now? Well, maybe your real superpower is paranoia.
Yeah.
It's all fun and games till the CHUDs come out.
- CHUDs? - Yeah, yeah, it's a classic film, Riley.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.
- Hmm.
- Hold on.
I hate to admit it, but I think Jack's right.
See? He's seen the film.
Not the CHUDs.
Look.
What is a camera that was built in the last five years doing in a town that was supposed to be abandoned for 30 years? Technologically advanced mutants.
Hope they like lead.
[RUSSIAN HIP HOP PLAYING.]
JACK: Okay, I'll bite.
What the hell is going on in here? I think these are stalkers.
Kids who sneak into Chernobyl and use it as their personal playground.
They film their stunts and post the videos online.
Millennials are so weird.
I'm a millennial.
Yeah, that-that proves my point.
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN.]
Depends who is asking.
The dude with the gun.
That's who, sport.
MACGYVER: And we are not here to make trouble.
Just trying to find a friend.
We think he came through here.
I might be able to help.
For the right price.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- Mm-mm.
Seriously? Beowulf? B-Beowulf's sacred.
Wait, you named your wolf ring Beowulf? - Mm-hmm.
- You ever even read Beowulf? No, no, no, you don't have to read Beowulf to know it's a super cool name, Riley.
MACGYVER: You got that from a dude selling jewelry out of a back of a pickup in Panama.
- So? - So we'll find you another one.
We're not gonna find another Beowulf.
There's no more Beowulf, dude.
It's our only lead.
Cough it up.
[GRUNTS.]
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
Tell me about your friend.
Yeah.
Well, he got caught in a bear trap a few miles back, and then was taken by car through this town.
Hey.
Better start talking, you little rug rat, or I'm taking Beowulf back.
Your friend is probably dead.
And if he is not, he soon will be.
Who took him? Potvori.
Who? That's Ukrainian for "monsters.
" Monsters? Like, like, mutant monsters? 'Cause that would really settle a-an argument we've been having.
I'm sure it's just a nickname.
What can you tell us about these monsters? Our friend Vasily got caught by Potvori last month.
JACK: A-And where is this Vasily now? We found him staggering in the road, beaten covered in blood.
We asked him what happened.
Wouldn't say much.
But that day he walked out of Chernobyl, he never came back.
And where was Vasily when he ran into these monsters? Their base.
[QUIETLY.]
: The monsters have a base? I am the one who dared him to sneak in there.
It's my fault he almost died.
Is there any chance you could tell us how to find the base? [JACK CHUCKLES.]
JACK: "Jack, give me your wolf ring.
Jack, give me your leather cuff.
" I don't know why it always has to be my personal stuff.
- Are you saying anything important up there? - I'm just saying, you gave that child of the radioactive corn my favorite stuff, man.
Maybe the real question you should be asking is: why do you like to wear things teenagers find cool? I don't wear it for their approval, Riley, thank you.
[MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
[GROANS.]
Well, this looks unfriendly.
Well, looks like we found the monsters.
Who the hell are they, and what are they doing out here? No clue.
Check it out.
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
[GROANING.]
Good news is: Sergei's still alive.
Yeah, and the bad news is: we have to get through the Soylent Green people eaters to get to him.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
Guys, I've been through every report on Chernobyl filed by the Five Eyes and the CIA.
There should be absolutely no activity in that section of the exclusion zone.
Yeah, well, your secret reports are wrong, Matty.
- Hey.
- 'Cause we're looking at a lot of - serious activity here.
- Hey, look.
We snuck into Chernobyl undetected, maybe they did, too.
Question is: what the hell are they doing out here? Well, judging from their radioactive suits, can't be good.
MATTY: Agreed.
And I will make some calls.
I will put these people on everyone's radar, but let me be clear.
Our objective remains the same: to get Sergei.
Okay, Matty, but we're still gonna need help getting in the building and circumventing the radioactive rager going on by the front door right now.
Yeah, every door and window that I can see from here is either inaccessible or guarded.
Riley, can you pull up a sat image of the building? Yeah.
This place is huge.
There's got to be another way in.
How about I just save you three some time and show you the way in? Riley, incoming.
- All right.
- After your little run-in with the stalkers, - I had our tech scrub through - Whoa.
All their online videos.
We found the one Vasily recorded when he snuck into that warehouse.
[VASILY PANTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
JACK: Oh, great.
So we're gonna Kris Kringle our way in the place now? You know, I've seen this movie, guys.
Doesn't end well.
[VASILY PANTING.]
MATTY: Oh.
Always fun seeing a familiar face.
RILEY: You-you know this guy, Matty? Unfortunately.
When I was at the CIA I worked up a dossier on this guy.
Name is Virgil Kahn.
He's wanted in half a dozen countries for everything from smuggling to murder.
So what's a guy with a résumé like that doing all the way out here? More importantly, Sergei's leg wound looked pretty serious, so if we want to extract him while he's still alive, we should get on the move.
Yeah, let's go.
Yeah.
If we can reach those telephone wires, we can use them to get to the roof.
"If"? If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.
Step aside.
Been a while since I've parkoured, but I think I can still remember some of the moves.
All right, if he's gonna start doing stuff like that, you might want to start mixing up some Bengay right now, Mac.
- Bengay? - Hey, no need for parkour.
We're gonna go ice climbing instead.
- Don't you need ice to do that? - Shh.
Sorry, I I-I really don't see what this has to do with ice climbing.
It's not.
It's not ice climbing.
But it's the same principle.
How? The mortar in between the bricks is old and brittle.
So, the wall is actually climbable if you have the right tools.
Oh.
So it's rock climbing.
Sorry.
[GRUNTS.]
Cool.
Hey, just, for the record, I could've parkoured this easy.
Oh, yeah.
I-I know.
Let's go.
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
[INHALING SHARPLY.]
Ow.
Oh, thanks, pal.
God, you have the worst timing, Jack.
[PHONE VIBRATING.]
JACK [WHISPERING.]
: No, second worst.
No.
[PHONE VIBRATING.]
What does he want? Yeah, Boze, we are kind of in the middle of a very dangerous place right now.
Yeah, well, I'm in the middle of a very dangerous place right now, too, Mac.
Matty's living room.
Matty sent me here to figure out who broke into her house, which is a problem because I already know who did it and I can't tell her.
Well, just relax.
You relax.
Okay? Matty knows.
Matty knows everything, just like she knew about me and Leanna.
JACK: Come on, Bozer.
Quit being such a baby.
You got to believe in yourself now, man.
You-you solved my break-in.
Right? So maybe Matty just really believes in your detective skills.
[SCOFFS.]
That woman does not believe in my detective skills, Jack.
This is an interrogation technique straight out of the book she wrote for the spy school she sent me to.
She's trying to make me crack under the pressure, and it is working.
Quit being such a baby.
Look [CHUCKLES.]
like I said, try and figure it out.
[WHISPERING.]
: Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac.
Uh, keep calm.
Don't crack.
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
Okay.
We're clear.
Yeah, so, we're in agreement.
How are we gonna find this guy? I think it's gonna have to be a room-by-room search, - unfortunately.
- No, man, that's gonna take forever.
Then we better get started.
MacGYVER: Yeah.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Well, this is a big, steamy pile of no bueno.
Guys, I may be way off base here, but, um shouldn't a bunch of radioactive waste be stored in an officially sanctioned nuclear disposal site? [STIFLES SNEEZE.]
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Okay.
Unfortunately, I just realized what these guys are doing.
Kahn and his men are stealing radioactive waste, smuggling it outside of the exclusion zone, probably for sale on the black market.
- Dirty bombs, right? - Yeah.
Rig just one of those barrels with enough explosive, and the resulting kaboom could render a major city unlivable, 10,000 years.
That's probably why they grabbed Sergei.
If I'm a nuclear pirate looking to sell dirty bomb parts to terrorists and some yahoo stumbles upon my operation I'd grease him as well.
Which means he's probably already dead.
Ah, Sergei's phone just turned back on.
- [CHIMES.]
- And someone sent Sergei a text.
"Dmitry accepts your terms.
Cash for the rat.
One hour.
" If there's a silver lining to all this confusion, at least we know our boy Sergei's still alive and kicking, right? Well, for the next 60 minutes, yeah.
Okay, so we have one hour to find Sergei, get him away from a group of international criminals selling radioactive waste before the Ukrainian mob shows up to kill him.
Pretty much, yeah, yeah.
Awesome.
All right, people, we are T-minus 47 minutes and counting until the Ukrainians come to collect Sergei, which means our goal remains simple: get Sergei first.
Yeah, we're fully aware of that, Matty, but this place is gigantic.
It's like trying to find him in a Walmart Supercenter.
And, in case anyone forgot, finding Sergei is only half the problem.
What are we gonna do about Kahn's radioactive waste? I have a tac team en route to get Kahn and his men.
They're two hours out.
No, no, no.
Matty, the trucks will be loaded and gone by then.
If we let any of this stuff drive out that door, next time we see it is gonna be when a dirty bomb explodes in a major city.
I understand that, Mac, but your orders are to get Sergei.
- Well, then my orders are wrong.
- Mac.
Do we have a problem, MacGyver? No, we do not, but we will if we let any of that waste drive out this building.
Look, Matty, I'm asking you to trust me and I'm telling you we can both get Sergei and stop those barrels from being shipped out.
Okay, Mac.
What's your plan? Pretty simple.
I go disable the trucks.
You guys grab Sergei, and we get the hell out of here.
Sounds good to me.
Okay, that is not a plan.
Well, better make it one 'cause Mac's already doing his part.
[MEN SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
Okay, Mac, you there? How you doing, man? Well, considering I'm surrounded by radioactive waste and people who would shoot me dead on sight, not too bad, actually.
[MEN SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
RILEY: Here's more bad news.
We only got 30 minutes left to find Sergei.
Hey, there's no way we're going to find him going room to room like this.
This place is too big.
Come on.
Okay, I have an idea, Riley, but you're gonna have to translate something for me.
JACK: Hey.
Okay, Riley, moment of truth.
You feeling good about this translation? Uh, my translation is perfect, Jack.
It's your pronunciation I'm worried about.
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
He's in the basement.
Two floors down.
The latest scan is complete, Bozer.
We have a 47% match on the last partial fingerprint.
Right.
Just put it in the folder with the rest of Matty's prints.
But this print doesn't belong to Director Webber.
Who do they belong to? Davis, Elwood J.
, which is of interest because that'd mean - Riley's dad was at - I need you to delete that data.
- It is against my programming.
- Hey.
Don't make me go all Three Laws of Robotics on you, okay.
You were programmed to follow my orders, so follow 'em.
Affirmative.
Deleting.
Hey, Sherlock.
Bust anyone yet? Uh uh, not yet.
Uh, lots of leads.
Um, I'm still running prints through the system.
So far, just yours.
You know, I think the thief got into my safe.
I had some very valuable jewelry in there.
Did you call any of the pawnshops, see if someone tried to unload anything? Yep, called 'em all.
No jewelry.
Sometimes, Bozer, you have to be very clever to get someone to admit something that they might not want to.
Returning stolen goods doesn't make a pawnshop any money.
You need to call them back and push hard.
Yep.
Okay.
Will do, Matty.
Thank you.
Such a [SIGHS.]
terrible violation someone breaking into your home.
Which is why I'm really glad that I put my trust in you.
Because I know that you'll give me the truth.
- Won't you, Bozer? - Sure will, Matty.
Okay, come on, come on.
Okay.
Hmm? Oh, crap.
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
Hey.
We're with the U.
S.
government.
We're here to get you out.
Okay? [SNEEZES.]
Oh, right in the mask.
[GROANS.]
You are the one who chased me in the woods.
The sneezing man.
RILEY: Yeah, that's him, all right, sneezing man.
[GROANS.]
Look, we have to leave.
Now.
Your former boss is on his way here as we speak to collect you.
Can you walk? I guess we'll find out.
I like your attitude.
Now, suit up, we're leaving.
JACK [OVER COMM.]
: Okay, Mac, we got Sergei.
We're headed to you now.
Ah, great, yeah.
Almost done.
Meet me in the loading area.
Will do.
Let's go, man, let's go.
[SERGEI GRUNTING.]
JACK: You got to try to stop limping if you can, bro.
You're gonna give us away.
You can have limping or screaming.
Which would you prefer? Don't scream, don't scream, Hopalong.
RILEY: Okay, Mac, we're here.
So what's the plan for, you know, not sticking around? All right, I disabled every truck except for the one we're gonna use to get out of here.
Yeah, sounds good, get it, man, get it.
'Cause, hey, listen, I don't think Sergei is gonna be outrunning anybody, bro.
Okay, meet me by the lone green cargo truck by the hangar door.
- Be ready to roll.
- Copy that.
[SERGEI GROANS.]
All right, here we go, big man.
Don't screw this up.
Hey.
Uh-huh.
[LOUD GROAN.]
I got you.
I got you, come on.
Just lean on me, lean on me.
Few more steps and we're home free.
- Truck's right here.
- Yeah, almost.
[CHUCKLES.]
Here we go, baby.
Yeah.
[SNEEZES LOUDLY.]
[JACK PANTING.]
- Really? - Oh, man.
[MEN SHOUTING, GUNS COCKING.]
[GROANS LOUDLY.]
RILEY: Mac, we got a big problem.
I see it.
Okay, first things first.
We got to get this thing started.
So, I will wait for you to find the keys.
Go ahead, crank it.
RILEY: I hope these guys aren't dumb enough to shoot at barrels of radioactive waste.
MacGYVER: Jack, get down! JACK: You can scream now, big man.
[SERGEI SCREAMING.]
SERGEI: Idiot, you pierce one of those drums, you'll kill us all.
JACK: No wonder they're not firing back.
[LAUGHS.]
Get in there, get in there.
- Go, go, Mac.
- All right.
- Go! Go! Go! - [TIRES SCREECHING.]
[SHOUTING.]
[ENGINE STALLS.]
No.
[THUNDER RUMBLES.]
- [SERGEI GROANS LOUDLY.]
- JACK: Hang in there, Sergei.
Hang in there.
We're gonna get you some help, I promise you.
Say good-bye to Chernobyl, boys.
JACK: Ah.
Oh, and say hello to the Phoenix.
That's probably the tac team Matty sent for us right there.
We're gonna be fine.
That doesn't look like the Phoenix tac team, Jack.
JACK: Huh? Nope, that's the Ukrainian mob.
[BRAKES SQUEAK.]
[TRUCK IDLING.]
What now? [GEIGER COUNTER CLICKING.]
We're gonna give 'em Sergei.
JACK, SERGEI AND RILEY: What? Those dosimeter badges, this one right here, take it off, hand it to Jack.
Jack, wipe 'em on the barrels in back.
Make sure they turn black.
All right, ready.
Mac, they're getting closer.
[GEIGER COUNTER CLICKING FASTER.]
Step out of the truck.
Slowly.
Sergei it's good to see you.
Soon we will be alone, and I'm looking forward to that time very much.
I have many questions for you.
He's all yours if you want him.
I wouldn't take him, if I were you.
Black badges.
MacGYVER: Yeah, you know what these mean.
He's been exposed to a lethal dose of radiation we all have.
Frankly, I'm surprised we're not all glowing right now.
Look, you can shoot us if you want.
It's a waste of bullets, honestly, 'cause we're all dead anyway.
And if any of you get near any of us, you're all dead, too.
We'll take our chances.
- [METALLIC SNAP.]
- [DMITRY SCREAMS.]
Drop 'em! I said drop 'em! Or you can give Dmitry your do svidaniyas right here, right now.
Jack, that's Russian.
Yeah, whatever.
I think they get it.
[DMITRY SCREAMING.]
[CRYING OUT.]
Better you than a bear.
So, Mac, I got to ask.
I know the bear trap was a lucky break, but how'd you trick their Geiger counters into going nuts? Well, I turned this truck's CB radio into a high-amplitude electromagnetic wave generator, 'cause Geiger counters work - by passing the current - Thought you said it was simple.
You know, actually, I'm sorry, I-I don't care.
I just want to make sure there's not a lot of gamma rays coming this way, you know what I'm saying? There were a lot of gamma rays coming out of that No, don't-don't-don't encourage him, 'cause now we're gonna have to hear him say, "You wouldn't like when I'm angry," all the way home.
It's true, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
I know you guys won't like me when I'm angry Thanks, guys.
About damn time you guys got back.
Do you know how hard it has been trying to avoid Matty while slow-playing my investigation into the break-in at her place? Probably not nearly as hard as staring down radioactive pirates and the Ukrainian mob.
Agree to disagree, Jack.
Okay, I keep telling this woman I'm hitting dead ends, and she keeps telling me to push harder.
Have you figured out what you're gonna do about Matty? 'Cause I can't keep this up much longer.
- JACK: Yes, you can.
- No, I can't.
- Yes, you can.
- MacGYVER: Hey, hey, guys, Matty lied to me on purpose, and I don't know why, but what I do know is that she never does anything on accident.
Agree with all that.
But the question still remains, what are you gonna do about it? MATTY: Are you guys gonna just stand around the hall clucking, or can we get this debrief started? So, aside from a few missteps from Captain Sneeze-a-Lot over here What can I say? I have atomic sneeze powers.
Sergei's now in custody, and eagerly giving up all the intel that we need to dismantle the Ukrainian mob and cut off their terrorist trade routes.
And what about our nuclear pirates? Phoenix agents rounded up Kahn and his entire crew at the warehouse, along with a very large shipment of radioactive waste, which will now be disposed of in the appropriate manner.
You were right, Mac.
Going after both Sergei and the waste, it was the right move.
This is a huge victory, guys.
One that you should all feel very proud of.
I know I'm really proud of all of you.
Okay, now get out of here.
Go get some rest.
You guys have earned it.
So, we have permission to celebrate? - Live it up.
- Yeah, yeah.
You've been unusually quiet, MacGyver.
Everything okay? Yeah.
Everything's fine.
[OBJECT CLATTERS ON TABLE.]
JACK: I need help breaking into Matty Webber's personal safe.
We're gonna have to make this look like an old-fashioned smash and grab.
This is Matty's unredacted personnel file.
Matty lied to me.
She did know my father.
JACK [GRUNTS.]
: This isn't my fault.
MacGYVER: I never said it was.
You didn't have to say it out loud.
I can tell by the look on your face.
[SNEEZES.]
See? There it is again that look.
- You do blame me.
- For what? Sneezing at the exact moment we were gonna grab Sergei, turning what should have been an easy extraction into whatever-whatever this is? If I'm sneezing, it's 'cause you made me wear this stupid camouflage suit.
You know I'm allergic to oak.
Which is why I didn't use oak in the suit.
Well, then, it's got to be something else, then, I'm a [SNEEZES.]
At this point, you should just take it off.
Riley.
Where are you at? He's getting away.
- Where are you? - RILEY [OVER COMM.]
: On your six, Jack.
I'm trying to get this guy before he goes off the road.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Get down.
Get down from there.
Don't climb that.
- What? - Look around you.
Okay, I don't speak Ukrainian, but this sign, in any language, is bad news.
Where are we right now? - Chernobyl.
- Chernobyl? Nobody told me we were going to Chernobyl.
I guess it would make sense.
It's been 30 years, right? That's long enough.
Right? We're all good? By now, most of the strontium-90's probably all good, but plutonium's half-life, depending on the isotope, is anywhere between 80 and 24,000 years.
So that little brain vomit just told me this whole place is still leaking radiation? - Yeah.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
We don't have a choice.
Nobody told me we were coming here.
I know, but we don't have a choice.
After you.
Okay.
15 minutes of silence makes it official.
- Jack.
- Mm-hmm.
You broke Mac.
How is this my fault? You're the one that asked him what he was gonna do with the information when he found it.
True, but you're the one who gave him the new info.
It was you that broke into Matty's house and found her unredacted file, so, technically, this is your fault.
No.
Technically, this is Matty's fault.
She's the one that lied to him, not me.
[SCOFFS.]
Hey, Mac.
How you doing, man? JACK: Hey, listen, man.
I know there's got to be a million thoughts swirling around in that brain of yours.
And I can't say I blame you, but we called this little family meeting here to discuss what's in the file, not stare at you while you thought about it.
I just I don't know what to say.
Matty didn't just lie about knowing my father, turns out, January 2000, she was investigating him for the CIA.
Yeah, that's a lot to process, Mac, but that's why we're here, - to help you figure out what to do next.
- That's right.
What is the next step? Confront her about it? Yeah.
I-In my experience, the word confront and Matty, in the same sentence, doesn't really equal a good time.
I can tell you that much.
I can't just ignore this.
She already lied to me once.
But she can't deny this, Mac.
I mean, Jack found actual proof she was investigating your dad.
No.
We found proof that Matty was compiling a dossier.
We have no idea what was in the actual report.
Well, hopefully, Riley not being here means our little keyboard commando found something, so we just sit tight, all right? Chill out.
What, you guys started without me? Yeah, the meeting was at 10:00 a.
m.
, Big Ben.
You know how I feel about punctuality.
Well, sorry, Jack.
Next time you ask me to hack every U.
S.
intelligence agency without setting off all the alarms, I'll be sure to do it by the completely arbitrary time you picked.
Okay, that'd be great, thanks.
Any luck on the report? No.
I swept through every government server, and I found nothing.
Either that report on your dad is so top secret, no one has access to it, or it simply doesn't exist anymore.
It doesn't make any sense.
My dad was an inventor, he was a scientist.
Wh Why was Matty investigating him? More importantly, why did she lie to me about it? Okay, I hate to be the one to say it, but after Thornton, someone has to.
Can we even still trust Matty? I I've known Matty longer than anybody else here, and it's no secret that our relationship is-is less than perfect.
But it doesn't change the fact that I do trust her.
I-I really do.
Always have.
Did she lie to you? Yeah.
Yeah.
But my guess is she probably has a pretty good reason for it.
Think about it.
Yeah, I mean, is Isn't it possible she may have lied to protect you? [SIGHS.]
I guess.
- But protect me from what? - BOZER: I don't know.
But whatever it is, Matty probably thinks she's doing what's best.
- I got to talk to her right now.
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
Oh.
Now may be turning into later.
Yeah, boss lady just put up the Bat-Signal.
You're gonna have to cool your jets for now, dude.
Me, you, and Riley are wheels up in 30.
She's going to brief us in flight.
What about me? Hmm? Well, you'll report to Matty at the Phoenix.
Wait, so I'm supposed to, what, act normal around Matty after this? - Yeah, that's right.
- Yeah, till we get back.
I want to talk to her myself.
Which means you're gonna have to pretend like none of this ever happened.
JACK: Yeah, we're counting on you, Boze.
Guys, Matty just told me she knew all about my secret spy-school girlfriend before even Riley did.
That woman is a human lie detector.
One look into my baby browns and she'll know.
What am I supposed to do? Try not to look her in the eye.
Huh? Man.
MATTY: Guys meet Dmitry Pavlovich, head of the Ukrainian mob.
Since 2004, the U.
S.
has suspected Dmitry of supplementing his income by allowing international terrorist groups to move weapons and contraband through his trade routes.
So, someone's been lying to us for years, and we finally found proof? Exactly.
The U.
S.
has never been able to directly link Dmitry to these terrorist groups until a month ago, when the CIA flipped someone inside of Dmitry's organization This mystery of evolution, Sergei, the lackey that worked for Dmitry and the mob.
Plans were arranged for Sergei to meet with a CIA handler to turn over all the necessary info to dismantle Dmitry's entire organization.
But then the word got out, and Dmitry green-lit Sergei Am I right? Yeah, and the moment the Ukrainian mob started hunting Sergei, he fell off the grid, refusing any further contact with the CIA.
So you're sending us in to find him.
Actually, we already did.
Phoenix intercepted messages between Sergei and a forger, who agreed to make him fake travel documents.
We have the time and location of the meeting.
So, this is a simple extraction? Done and done.
There's nothing simple about this, Jack, or the CIA would have handled it themselves.
The Ukrainian mob is very invested in hunting Sergei, and he knows it.
He's gonna be extremely skittish.
Right, so don't spook him.
Got it.
MacGYVER: You spooked him.
You spooked him! [SNEEZES.]
[GRUNTING.]
JACK: Man, I got two arms, two legs, and no horn growing out of the center of my forehead.
- I'd like to keep it that way.
- Relax.
We're on the edge of the exclusion zone.
Way far away from the reactor.
The radiation's not that bad out here.
Which is exactly why I don't want to go any further.
Stop.
Hang on a second.
Now, being attacked by irradiated mutants that you've pissed off is not on my to-do list, sorry.
There's no such thing as irradiated mutants.
Most people who get exposed to too much radiation, they just lose all their hair and die.
Well, that doesn't make me feel any better.
- [METALLIC SNAP.]
- [MAN SCREAMS.]
- What the hell is that? - Come on.
[GRUNTS.]
Ooh.
That's not good.
Mac, why would a radioactive bear trap snag Sergei? I don't know.
[VEHICLE DRIVING AWAY.]
But whatever pulled him out of it is taking him deeper into the exclusion zone.
You mean deeper into the zone oozing with radiation.
Same one.
- - [RUSTED METAL SQUEAKING.]
MATTY [OVER COMM.]
: You lost Sergei in Chernobyl? How do you lose someone in Chernobyl? It's deserted.
You guys are basically the only ones around for miles.
Yeah, well, tell that to the people who just caught Sergei in a bear trap and then dragged him into a car.
MATTY: So, who took him, and where is he now? Yeah, I mean, who uses bear traps? Is that a Ukrainian mob thing? No, I just think there are bears in these woods.
Yeah, mutant bears.
Some six-eyed freak is probably making a midafternoon snack of Sergei's face right now, just [MAKES MONSTROUS EATING SOUNDS.]
I don't think it was six-eyed freaks, Jack, just like I don't think it was the mob, Bozer.
They didn't know where Sergei was, and even if they did, why would they take him deeper into the exclusion zone? It just doesn't make any sense.
So, if it's not the mob, then who has him? Well, that is the million-dollar question now, isn't it, Bozer? - Hey, Riley? - Yeah.
Anything o-o-on tracking Sergei's phone? Sorry, Jack.
Been a little busy pushing around this piece of crap after it ran out of gas.
Yeah, why didn't you get rid of this thing? Well, I don't know.
I thought we might need it.
Figured Mac could mix dirt with rainwater or something and make gas.
Well, dirt and water make mud, sweetie, not gas.
RILEY: All right.
Sergei's phone is either off or broken.
Tracking's not gonna happen.
Which means our only lead are these tire tracks.
You mean the ones that head to nuclear meltdown headquarters? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Matty, where does this road lead exactly? It looks like that dirt road leads to an abandoned town up ahead.
Maybe that's where Sergei was taken.
JACK: Yeah, maybe.
How far into the exclusion zone is this town exactly? MATTY: A few miles.
Oh, and before you start complaining, Dalton, let me remind you: the sooner you get Sergei, the sooner you get out of there.
So, if I were you, I'd start walking.
Yeah, yeah, kind of figured that.
So how much radiation we talking about here, man? I mean, is it the good kind where you get superpowers? Or the bad kind where you're super dead? Yeah, well, there is no good kind.
- Mm-hmm.
- But we are ten away miles away from the site of the nuclear meltdown, so levels of the bad kind should be safe.
But just to put your little mind at ease, I have whipped up something that will help us monitor these levels of radiation, and it is my Geiger counter.
Your MacGeiger counter.
That's a little conceited of you.
Well, that's what he said.
That's what he called it.
Radiation sickness I can deal with.
- He's getting big-headed.
- Your puns I cannot.
- Okay.
- Okay? - Okay.
- Okay.
- [CLICKING.]
- Nice.
Is it supposed to already be clicking like that? Yeah.
It's what it's supposed to do Pick up levels of radiation.
Right now it's just low background levels.
[CLICKING.]
Seriously? I'm just kidding.
[LAUGHS.]
I mean, it's picking up levels, but they're just low.
Trust me, when it gets bad, you'll know.
It's very reassuring.
Hey, Bozer.
Bozer.
Unless you're about to tell me that we need new ceiling tiles, I need you to look at me.
You may be wondering why I had you stay behind.
Me? Nah.
I don't really wonder about things.
As I imagine you must have heard, there was a break-in at my house last week.
Yeah, I heard.
I-I'm sorry.
Do the cops have any leads on who did it? No, none, which is why I want your help.
Since you did such a good job solving the break-in at Jack's, I would like you to do the same for me.
Uh yeah, sure.
I'm on it, Matty.
Good.
Don't let me down, Bozer.
JACK: Ooh, all this radiation We're probably gonna develop a superpower or something, right? Huh? I mean, I've always considered myself a cross between Captain America and Superman, like America Man.
No, no.
No.
Super Cap.
- That's-that's actually better.
- [LAUGHS.]
I was wondering how far we'd get before he started this.
Mac, uh, you'll develop telekinesis.
You're practically Professor X as it is.
And Riley invisibility.
Ooh.
Okay.
Because? Because it fits your personality, I don't know.
It's not an exact science.
It's not science at all.
Radiation doesn't give you powers.
It kills you.
You-you can't prove a double negative.
[SIGHS.]
Actually, I'm pretty sure I can prove this one, but the math would bore you - after three seconds, though.
- Look, look, I'm just trying to find any upside to being stuck in this radioactive wasteland.
Like, for example, you being here means you can't storm into Matty's office all hot and bothered and confront her.
You don't think he should talk to Matty? I mean, don't-don't you think he deserve answers? Sure he does.
But this isn't a situation you can go into all half-cocked.
Look, I know you like to make up stuff on the fly, and that may be fine when it comes to bombs and terrorists, but this is Matty the Hun we're talking about here.
You can't improvise your way through this one.
You're gonna need a plan.
You know things are bad when Jack Dalton's the voice of reason.
Yeah.
That maybe that's my superpower.
Look, I appreciate the concern, but it's kind of hard to plan when I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that Matty was investigating my father.
I used to think he was just some eccentric scientist who chickened out after my mom died, and then bailed on me.
But now? Now I don't even know who my father is.
Why was the CIA investigating him in the first place? Did he get caught up with the wrong people? And if he did, is that the reason that he left? Whoa.
[SNEEZES.]
- Geez.
- Sorry.
All the stuff you've come up against in your career, and you can't beat mutant pollen? Hey, hey, I-I bet there's 30 years of worth of pollen in this town.
Tire tracks end where the asphalt begins.
Guess we can say good-bye to that trail we were following.
Oh, come on, you guys, do you really think he's in this town? I don't think anybody's in this town.
Most towns around Chernobyl were abandoned after the reactor exploded.
[ALARMS BLARING.]
Why is my Spidey-sense telling me we're being watched right now? Well, maybe your real superpower is paranoia.
Yeah.
It's all fun and games till the CHUDs come out.
- CHUDs? - Yeah, yeah, it's a classic film, Riley.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.
- Hmm.
- Hold on.
I hate to admit it, but I think Jack's right.
See? He's seen the film.
Not the CHUDs.
Look.
What is a camera that was built in the last five years doing in a town that was supposed to be abandoned for 30 years? Technologically advanced mutants.
Hope they like lead.
[RUSSIAN HIP HOP PLAYING.]
JACK: Okay, I'll bite.
What the hell is going on in here? I think these are stalkers.
Kids who sneak into Chernobyl and use it as their personal playground.
They film their stunts and post the videos online.
Millennials are so weird.
I'm a millennial.
Yeah, that-that proves my point.
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN.]
Depends who is asking.
The dude with the gun.
That's who, sport.
MACGYVER: And we are not here to make trouble.
Just trying to find a friend.
We think he came through here.
I might be able to help.
For the right price.
[LAUGHS SOFTLY.]
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
- Mm-mm.
Seriously? Beowulf? B-Beowulf's sacred.
Wait, you named your wolf ring Beowulf? - Mm-hmm.
- You ever even read Beowulf? No, no, no, you don't have to read Beowulf to know it's a super cool name, Riley.
MACGYVER: You got that from a dude selling jewelry out of a back of a pickup in Panama.
- So? - So we'll find you another one.
We're not gonna find another Beowulf.
There's no more Beowulf, dude.
It's our only lead.
Cough it up.
[GRUNTS.]
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
Tell me about your friend.
Yeah.
Well, he got caught in a bear trap a few miles back, and then was taken by car through this town.
Hey.
Better start talking, you little rug rat, or I'm taking Beowulf back.
Your friend is probably dead.
And if he is not, he soon will be.
Who took him? Potvori.
Who? That's Ukrainian for "monsters.
" Monsters? Like, like, mutant monsters? 'Cause that would really settle a-an argument we've been having.
I'm sure it's just a nickname.
What can you tell us about these monsters? Our friend Vasily got caught by Potvori last month.
JACK: A-And where is this Vasily now? We found him staggering in the road, beaten covered in blood.
We asked him what happened.
Wouldn't say much.
But that day he walked out of Chernobyl, he never came back.
And where was Vasily when he ran into these monsters? Their base.
[QUIETLY.]
: The monsters have a base? I am the one who dared him to sneak in there.
It's my fault he almost died.
Is there any chance you could tell us how to find the base? [JACK CHUCKLES.]
JACK: "Jack, give me your wolf ring.
Jack, give me your leather cuff.
" I don't know why it always has to be my personal stuff.
- Are you saying anything important up there? - I'm just saying, you gave that child of the radioactive corn my favorite stuff, man.
Maybe the real question you should be asking is: why do you like to wear things teenagers find cool? I don't wear it for their approval, Riley, thank you.
[MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
[GROANS.]
Well, this looks unfriendly.
Well, looks like we found the monsters.
Who the hell are they, and what are they doing out here? No clue.
Check it out.
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
[GROANING.]
Good news is: Sergei's still alive.
Yeah, and the bad news is: we have to get through the Soylent Green people eaters to get to him.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
Guys, I've been through every report on Chernobyl filed by the Five Eyes and the CIA.
There should be absolutely no activity in that section of the exclusion zone.
Yeah, well, your secret reports are wrong, Matty.
- Hey.
- 'Cause we're looking at a lot of - serious activity here.
- Hey, look.
We snuck into Chernobyl undetected, maybe they did, too.
Question is: what the hell are they doing out here? Well, judging from their radioactive suits, can't be good.
MATTY: Agreed.
And I will make some calls.
I will put these people on everyone's radar, but let me be clear.
Our objective remains the same: to get Sergei.
Okay, Matty, but we're still gonna need help getting in the building and circumventing the radioactive rager going on by the front door right now.
Yeah, every door and window that I can see from here is either inaccessible or guarded.
Riley, can you pull up a sat image of the building? Yeah.
This place is huge.
There's got to be another way in.
How about I just save you three some time and show you the way in? Riley, incoming.
- All right.
- After your little run-in with the stalkers, - I had our tech scrub through - Whoa.
All their online videos.
We found the one Vasily recorded when he snuck into that warehouse.
[VASILY PANTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
JACK: Oh, great.
So we're gonna Kris Kringle our way in the place now? You know, I've seen this movie, guys.
Doesn't end well.
[VASILY PANTING.]
MATTY: Oh.
Always fun seeing a familiar face.
RILEY: You-you know this guy, Matty? Unfortunately.
When I was at the CIA I worked up a dossier on this guy.
Name is Virgil Kahn.
He's wanted in half a dozen countries for everything from smuggling to murder.
So what's a guy with a résumé like that doing all the way out here? More importantly, Sergei's leg wound looked pretty serious, so if we want to extract him while he's still alive, we should get on the move.
Yeah, let's go.
Yeah.
If we can reach those telephone wires, we can use them to get to the roof.
"If"? If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.
Step aside.
Been a while since I've parkoured, but I think I can still remember some of the moves.
All right, if he's gonna start doing stuff like that, you might want to start mixing up some Bengay right now, Mac.
- Bengay? - Hey, no need for parkour.
We're gonna go ice climbing instead.
- Don't you need ice to do that? - Shh.
Sorry, I I-I really don't see what this has to do with ice climbing.
It's not.
It's not ice climbing.
But it's the same principle.
How? The mortar in between the bricks is old and brittle.
So, the wall is actually climbable if you have the right tools.
Oh.
So it's rock climbing.
Sorry.
[GRUNTS.]
Cool.
Hey, just, for the record, I could've parkoured this easy.
Oh, yeah.
I-I know.
Let's go.
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
[INHALING SHARPLY.]
Ow.
Oh, thanks, pal.
God, you have the worst timing, Jack.
[PHONE VIBRATING.]
JACK [WHISPERING.]
: No, second worst.
No.
[PHONE VIBRATING.]
What does he want? Yeah, Boze, we are kind of in the middle of a very dangerous place right now.
Yeah, well, I'm in the middle of a very dangerous place right now, too, Mac.
Matty's living room.
Matty sent me here to figure out who broke into her house, which is a problem because I already know who did it and I can't tell her.
Well, just relax.
You relax.
Okay? Matty knows.
Matty knows everything, just like she knew about me and Leanna.
JACK: Come on, Bozer.
Quit being such a baby.
You got to believe in yourself now, man.
You-you solved my break-in.
Right? So maybe Matty just really believes in your detective skills.
[SCOFFS.]
That woman does not believe in my detective skills, Jack.
This is an interrogation technique straight out of the book she wrote for the spy school she sent me to.
She's trying to make me crack under the pressure, and it is working.
Quit being such a baby.
Look [CHUCKLES.]
like I said, try and figure it out.
[WHISPERING.]
: Mac, Mac, Mac, Mac.
Uh, keep calm.
Don't crack.
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
Okay.
We're clear.
Yeah, so, we're in agreement.
How are we gonna find this guy? I think it's gonna have to be a room-by-room search, - unfortunately.
- No, man, that's gonna take forever.
Then we better get started.
MacGYVER: Yeah.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Well, this is a big, steamy pile of no bueno.
Guys, I may be way off base here, but, um shouldn't a bunch of radioactive waste be stored in an officially sanctioned nuclear disposal site? [STIFLES SNEEZE.]
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Okay.
Unfortunately, I just realized what these guys are doing.
Kahn and his men are stealing radioactive waste, smuggling it outside of the exclusion zone, probably for sale on the black market.
- Dirty bombs, right? - Yeah.
Rig just one of those barrels with enough explosive, and the resulting kaboom could render a major city unlivable, 10,000 years.
That's probably why they grabbed Sergei.
If I'm a nuclear pirate looking to sell dirty bomb parts to terrorists and some yahoo stumbles upon my operation I'd grease him as well.
Which means he's probably already dead.
Ah, Sergei's phone just turned back on.
- [CHIMES.]
- And someone sent Sergei a text.
"Dmitry accepts your terms.
Cash for the rat.
One hour.
" If there's a silver lining to all this confusion, at least we know our boy Sergei's still alive and kicking, right? Well, for the next 60 minutes, yeah.
Okay, so we have one hour to find Sergei, get him away from a group of international criminals selling radioactive waste before the Ukrainian mob shows up to kill him.
Pretty much, yeah, yeah.
Awesome.
All right, people, we are T-minus 47 minutes and counting until the Ukrainians come to collect Sergei, which means our goal remains simple: get Sergei first.
Yeah, we're fully aware of that, Matty, but this place is gigantic.
It's like trying to find him in a Walmart Supercenter.
And, in case anyone forgot, finding Sergei is only half the problem.
What are we gonna do about Kahn's radioactive waste? I have a tac team en route to get Kahn and his men.
They're two hours out.
No, no, no.
Matty, the trucks will be loaded and gone by then.
If we let any of this stuff drive out that door, next time we see it is gonna be when a dirty bomb explodes in a major city.
I understand that, Mac, but your orders are to get Sergei.
- Well, then my orders are wrong.
- Mac.
Do we have a problem, MacGyver? No, we do not, but we will if we let any of that waste drive out this building.
Look, Matty, I'm asking you to trust me and I'm telling you we can both get Sergei and stop those barrels from being shipped out.
Okay, Mac.
What's your plan? Pretty simple.
I go disable the trucks.
You guys grab Sergei, and we get the hell out of here.
Sounds good to me.
Okay, that is not a plan.
Well, better make it one 'cause Mac's already doing his part.
[MEN SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
Okay, Mac, you there? How you doing, man? Well, considering I'm surrounded by radioactive waste and people who would shoot me dead on sight, not too bad, actually.
[MEN SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
RILEY: Here's more bad news.
We only got 30 minutes left to find Sergei.
Hey, there's no way we're going to find him going room to room like this.
This place is too big.
Come on.
Okay, I have an idea, Riley, but you're gonna have to translate something for me.
JACK: Hey.
Okay, Riley, moment of truth.
You feeling good about this translation? Uh, my translation is perfect, Jack.
It's your pronunciation I'm worried about.
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
He's in the basement.
Two floors down.
The latest scan is complete, Bozer.
We have a 47% match on the last partial fingerprint.
Right.
Just put it in the folder with the rest of Matty's prints.
But this print doesn't belong to Director Webber.
Who do they belong to? Davis, Elwood J.
, which is of interest because that'd mean - Riley's dad was at - I need you to delete that data.
- It is against my programming.
- Hey.
Don't make me go all Three Laws of Robotics on you, okay.
You were programmed to follow my orders, so follow 'em.
Affirmative.
Deleting.
Hey, Sherlock.
Bust anyone yet? Uh uh, not yet.
Uh, lots of leads.
Um, I'm still running prints through the system.
So far, just yours.
You know, I think the thief got into my safe.
I had some very valuable jewelry in there.
Did you call any of the pawnshops, see if someone tried to unload anything? Yep, called 'em all.
No jewelry.
Sometimes, Bozer, you have to be very clever to get someone to admit something that they might not want to.
Returning stolen goods doesn't make a pawnshop any money.
You need to call them back and push hard.
Yep.
Okay.
Will do, Matty.
Thank you.
Such a [SIGHS.]
terrible violation someone breaking into your home.
Which is why I'm really glad that I put my trust in you.
Because I know that you'll give me the truth.
- Won't you, Bozer? - Sure will, Matty.
Okay, come on, come on.
Okay.
Hmm? Oh, crap.
[SPEAKING UKRAINIAN.]
Hey.
We're with the U.
S.
government.
We're here to get you out.
Okay? [SNEEZES.]
Oh, right in the mask.
[GROANS.]
You are the one who chased me in the woods.
The sneezing man.
RILEY: Yeah, that's him, all right, sneezing man.
[GROANS.]
Look, we have to leave.
Now.
Your former boss is on his way here as we speak to collect you.
Can you walk? I guess we'll find out.
I like your attitude.
Now, suit up, we're leaving.
JACK [OVER COMM.]
: Okay, Mac, we got Sergei.
We're headed to you now.
Ah, great, yeah.
Almost done.
Meet me in the loading area.
Will do.
Let's go, man, let's go.
[SERGEI GRUNTING.]
JACK: You got to try to stop limping if you can, bro.
You're gonna give us away.
You can have limping or screaming.
Which would you prefer? Don't scream, don't scream, Hopalong.
RILEY: Okay, Mac, we're here.
So what's the plan for, you know, not sticking around? All right, I disabled every truck except for the one we're gonna use to get out of here.
Yeah, sounds good, get it, man, get it.
'Cause, hey, listen, I don't think Sergei is gonna be outrunning anybody, bro.
Okay, meet me by the lone green cargo truck by the hangar door.
- Be ready to roll.
- Copy that.
[SERGEI GROANS.]
All right, here we go, big man.
Don't screw this up.
Hey.
Uh-huh.
[LOUD GROAN.]
I got you.
I got you, come on.
Just lean on me, lean on me.
Few more steps and we're home free.
- Truck's right here.
- Yeah, almost.
[CHUCKLES.]
Here we go, baby.
Yeah.
[SNEEZES LOUDLY.]
[JACK PANTING.]
- Really? - Oh, man.
[MEN SHOUTING, GUNS COCKING.]
[GROANS LOUDLY.]
RILEY: Mac, we got a big problem.
I see it.
Okay, first things first.
We got to get this thing started.
So, I will wait for you to find the keys.
Go ahead, crank it.
RILEY: I hope these guys aren't dumb enough to shoot at barrels of radioactive waste.
MacGYVER: Jack, get down! JACK: You can scream now, big man.
[SERGEI SCREAMING.]
SERGEI: Idiot, you pierce one of those drums, you'll kill us all.
JACK: No wonder they're not firing back.
[LAUGHS.]
Get in there, get in there.
- Go, go, Mac.
- All right.
- Go! Go! Go! - [TIRES SCREECHING.]
[SHOUTING.]
[ENGINE STALLS.]
No.
[THUNDER RUMBLES.]
- [SERGEI GROANS LOUDLY.]
- JACK: Hang in there, Sergei.
Hang in there.
We're gonna get you some help, I promise you.
Say good-bye to Chernobyl, boys.
JACK: Ah.
Oh, and say hello to the Phoenix.
That's probably the tac team Matty sent for us right there.
We're gonna be fine.
That doesn't look like the Phoenix tac team, Jack.
JACK: Huh? Nope, that's the Ukrainian mob.
[BRAKES SQUEAK.]
[TRUCK IDLING.]
What now? [GEIGER COUNTER CLICKING.]
We're gonna give 'em Sergei.
JACK, SERGEI AND RILEY: What? Those dosimeter badges, this one right here, take it off, hand it to Jack.
Jack, wipe 'em on the barrels in back.
Make sure they turn black.
All right, ready.
Mac, they're getting closer.
[GEIGER COUNTER CLICKING FASTER.]
Step out of the truck.
Slowly.
Sergei it's good to see you.
Soon we will be alone, and I'm looking forward to that time very much.
I have many questions for you.
He's all yours if you want him.
I wouldn't take him, if I were you.
Black badges.
MacGYVER: Yeah, you know what these mean.
He's been exposed to a lethal dose of radiation we all have.
Frankly, I'm surprised we're not all glowing right now.
Look, you can shoot us if you want.
It's a waste of bullets, honestly, 'cause we're all dead anyway.
And if any of you get near any of us, you're all dead, too.
We'll take our chances.
- [METALLIC SNAP.]
- [DMITRY SCREAMS.]
Drop 'em! I said drop 'em! Or you can give Dmitry your do svidaniyas right here, right now.
Jack, that's Russian.
Yeah, whatever.
I think they get it.
[DMITRY SCREAMING.]
[CRYING OUT.]
Better you than a bear.
So, Mac, I got to ask.
I know the bear trap was a lucky break, but how'd you trick their Geiger counters into going nuts? Well, I turned this truck's CB radio into a high-amplitude electromagnetic wave generator, 'cause Geiger counters work - by passing the current - Thought you said it was simple.
You know, actually, I'm sorry, I-I don't care.
I just want to make sure there's not a lot of gamma rays coming this way, you know what I'm saying? There were a lot of gamma rays coming out of that No, don't-don't-don't encourage him, 'cause now we're gonna have to hear him say, "You wouldn't like when I'm angry," all the way home.
It's true, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
I know you guys won't like me when I'm angry Thanks, guys.
About damn time you guys got back.
Do you know how hard it has been trying to avoid Matty while slow-playing my investigation into the break-in at her place? Probably not nearly as hard as staring down radioactive pirates and the Ukrainian mob.
Agree to disagree, Jack.
Okay, I keep telling this woman I'm hitting dead ends, and she keeps telling me to push harder.
Have you figured out what you're gonna do about Matty? 'Cause I can't keep this up much longer.
- JACK: Yes, you can.
- No, I can't.
- Yes, you can.
- MacGYVER: Hey, hey, guys, Matty lied to me on purpose, and I don't know why, but what I do know is that she never does anything on accident.
Agree with all that.
But the question still remains, what are you gonna do about it? MATTY: Are you guys gonna just stand around the hall clucking, or can we get this debrief started? So, aside from a few missteps from Captain Sneeze-a-Lot over here What can I say? I have atomic sneeze powers.
Sergei's now in custody, and eagerly giving up all the intel that we need to dismantle the Ukrainian mob and cut off their terrorist trade routes.
And what about our nuclear pirates? Phoenix agents rounded up Kahn and his entire crew at the warehouse, along with a very large shipment of radioactive waste, which will now be disposed of in the appropriate manner.
You were right, Mac.
Going after both Sergei and the waste, it was the right move.
This is a huge victory, guys.
One that you should all feel very proud of.
I know I'm really proud of all of you.
Okay, now get out of here.
Go get some rest.
You guys have earned it.
So, we have permission to celebrate? - Live it up.
- Yeah, yeah.
You've been unusually quiet, MacGyver.
Everything okay? Yeah.
Everything's fine.
[OBJECT CLATTERS ON TABLE.]