Phineas and Ferb s02e17 Episode Script
Oh, There You Are, Perry (15 min)
Ugh, no more peach and pumpernickel sandwiches before bed.
You! For an animal that doesn't do much, you sure know how to make a mess of things! Good morning, Agent P.
I've got bad news and good news.
The bad news is you're being reassigned to a new, more evil villain.
His name, The Regurgitator.
You keep pushing him down, but he keeps coming back up! That's not funny, Carl.
That's just disgusting.
You laughed earlier! It was a pity laugh.
Anyway, Dr.
Doofenshmirtz had to be downgraded to minor threat status, and, we've just assigned Agent S to his case.
The good news is, you've been relocated away from your host family, to this new family in the Quad-State Area.
It's the other way around, sir.
Oh, oh! Yes, yes, of course.
Bad news is the relocation, and the good news is the new villain thing.
Uh.
Just make sure you take your belongings from the house when you leave.
Good morning, Candace.
What's so great about it? Not much.
We can't find Perry anywhere.
He's never missed breakfast, not even once.
Uh Y-You don't think he could've argued with someone, at say got his feelings hurt, then run away, do you? Nah, he never would've gone outside on purpose.
Everybody knows platypuses are supposed to stay inside at night.
You haven't seen him anywhere, have you? Well, maybe he just wandered off.
Doesn't he always wander off at some point in the day? A-And then later, when he comes back, you say, "Oh, there you are, Perry", and he says, Yeah, but he's always here in the morning.
I'd be devastated if something happened to him.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Hold on, I'm coming! Another gift basket? "We regret to inform you that due to The Regurgitator's recent evil behavior, you have been downgraded to a minor threat.
If you believe this to be a mistake, please fill out the included appeal.
" A minor threat?! Regurgitator.
Ugh, well there's a lot of weirdos out there.
Oh, here we go.
He has his own blog.
"World's Most Evil Villain"? Who does this upstart think he is? It's time to show him who's boss! All right, Ferb.
Activate the Platy-Attracker 3000.
If Perry's anywhere in Danville, this'll bring him home.
Wow.
I didn't know there were so many platypuses in Danville.
Geez, what a dump! Well, so much for Mr.
Big Shot Supervillain.
Uh, yeah, hi.
I'm looking for someone named Mr.
"The Regurgitator.
" Hmm.
"Do not push".
Heh.
Oh, my Heinz heinie! Look at this, all this technology, a giant vacuum tube, and they can't afford a throw pillow? Oh, hello.
I am The Regurgitator! Well Okay, my name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
Ta-da! Oh, I'm sorry, I don't have the wholeâ Where are those lights coming from, by the way, when you do that? You're that disturbed lunatic from Danville.
Oh, you've heard of me? Yes, and you've heard of me! Seriously.
Where's that comingâ Oh, look, you've already captured Perry the Platypus! My, you do work fast.
Why don't you fill up these forms and I'll consider you for a three-year internship.
I am not here to apply for an internshiâ Ooh, you offer maternity leave.
You can start by making a fresh pot of coffee! Nope, Ferb, not Perry.
This little guy's eyes are too close together and his beak is orange.
Perry's is more of a tangerine.
Nope, too fat.
Too thin.
Too cartoon-y.
Whoa, that one smells like meatloaf! Perry? Perry the Platypus! Peâ Huh? Perry! Get over here.
You're coming home with me so I won't get in trouble with theâ You have a pet beaver? You have a pet platypus.
Touché.
Nope, too blue.
Too angular.
Too French.
That one's just a duck with a beaver tail taped on.
Well, that was the last of them.
Maybe we need to think bigger.
And with music! Perry just loves music, remember? Let's get the guitars.
I've got an idea.
What are you looking at, Perry the Platypus? This is a great job! And look at all I've accomplished.
I mean, just today, I organized this evil invoices, swept his evil lair, picked up his evil dry cleaning.
A-And look, I even had time to do this.
See? "Best Boss.
" And if I do a good job, I could be promoted to head assistant in just three months! Where are you gonna be in three months, huh? Huh? Never mind the three months.
I'll take care of him right now! Wait a minute.
Well, first of all, he's my nemesis! A-And you can't get rid of him now.
Whereâ Where's the fun in that? Youâ You need to explain your whole plan to him.
Don't you have a nemesis? Me? The world is my nemesis! Sorry, this thing doesn't always work.
The world is my nemesis! Perry's gone, and it's It's just my fault.
I can't take it anymore.
I'm gonna have to tell the boys.
Oh, there they are.
Well, I guess now is as good a time as any.
Phineas, Ferb, I just have to tell you that I'm the one who Hey.
Marty the Rabbit Boy and his musical blender? Maybe this'll make you feel better.
Nah, not so much.
Don't look at me like that, Perry the Platypus.
I know what you're thinking.
I'mâ I'm not some lowly intern.
I'm an evil scientist! I'm Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and he should be bowing down to me! Hey you, Mr.
Regurgitator! Let's get things straight! What? Okay, okay.
You see that, Perry the Platypus? Compromise.
Who am I kidding? Ugh! You can do it! You can do it! You can do it! Okay, Regurgitator! I've done everything for you.
I'veâ Y-You see those hard-to-reach files up there? Well I invented these rocket shoes just so you can reach them! A-And look at this! I even put in the self-destruct button that you forgot! What? Why is it counting down? Okay, well, I may have pressed it by mistake.
But at least I didn't push the release button I installed inside Perry the Platypus' cage! Look what you've done! You've pushed my buttons for the last time, you disturbed lunatic! Get ready toâ We did it! We did it! Lo hicimos! We did it! Congratulations, Agent P.
You've defeated the Regurgitator.
As a matter of fact, he just landed in our prison.
You can return immediately to your host family, and Dr.
Doofenshmirtz is once again your nemesis.
So, if we're enemies again, does that meanâ Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Oh, now see there, a-a throw pillow.
Youâ You guys do it right! Excellent.
From the top of this building, everyone in the Tri-State Area should be able to hear us.
(Song: Come Home Perry) Perry You know you are a boy's best friend You're more than just a passing trend You're like a treat from a candy store Oh, Perry We love you more than ice cream cakes We love you more than bugs and snakes We love you more than all things mentioned before Oh, Perry You're extraordinary You're kinda short and hairy The color of a blueberry Yes, Perry So come home, Perry Come home, Perry, come home Hey, Candace, why don't you sing one? Um Oh, Perry I think it's kinda scary I can't find you anywhere-y It fills me with despair-y? Oh, Perry I'm allergic to dairy I'm gonna move to the prairie And change my name to Larry Larry? I ran out of rhymes, all right? (She'll change her name to Larry!) (Larry!) Larry! So, come home, Perry Come home, Perry, come home So, come home, Perry Come home, Perry, come home Come home, Perry, come home Oh, there you are, Perry.
Perry! Good job, Larry.
Welcome home.
You! For an animal that doesn't do much, you sure know how to make a mess of things! Good morning, Agent P.
I've got bad news and good news.
The bad news is you're being reassigned to a new, more evil villain.
His name, The Regurgitator.
You keep pushing him down, but he keeps coming back up! That's not funny, Carl.
That's just disgusting.
You laughed earlier! It was a pity laugh.
Anyway, Dr.
Doofenshmirtz had to be downgraded to minor threat status, and, we've just assigned Agent S to his case.
The good news is, you've been relocated away from your host family, to this new family in the Quad-State Area.
It's the other way around, sir.
Oh, oh! Yes, yes, of course.
Bad news is the relocation, and the good news is the new villain thing.
Uh.
Just make sure you take your belongings from the house when you leave.
Good morning, Candace.
What's so great about it? Not much.
We can't find Perry anywhere.
He's never missed breakfast, not even once.
Uh Y-You don't think he could've argued with someone, at say got his feelings hurt, then run away, do you? Nah, he never would've gone outside on purpose.
Everybody knows platypuses are supposed to stay inside at night.
You haven't seen him anywhere, have you? Well, maybe he just wandered off.
Doesn't he always wander off at some point in the day? A-And then later, when he comes back, you say, "Oh, there you are, Perry", and he says, Yeah, but he's always here in the morning.
I'd be devastated if something happened to him.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Hold on, I'm coming! Another gift basket? "We regret to inform you that due to The Regurgitator's recent evil behavior, you have been downgraded to a minor threat.
If you believe this to be a mistake, please fill out the included appeal.
" A minor threat?! Regurgitator.
Ugh, well there's a lot of weirdos out there.
Oh, here we go.
He has his own blog.
"World's Most Evil Villain"? Who does this upstart think he is? It's time to show him who's boss! All right, Ferb.
Activate the Platy-Attracker 3000.
If Perry's anywhere in Danville, this'll bring him home.
Wow.
I didn't know there were so many platypuses in Danville.
Geez, what a dump! Well, so much for Mr.
Big Shot Supervillain.
Uh, yeah, hi.
I'm looking for someone named Mr.
"The Regurgitator.
" Hmm.
"Do not push".
Heh.
Oh, my Heinz heinie! Look at this, all this technology, a giant vacuum tube, and they can't afford a throw pillow? Oh, hello.
I am The Regurgitator! Well Okay, my name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
Ta-da! Oh, I'm sorry, I don't have the wholeâ Where are those lights coming from, by the way, when you do that? You're that disturbed lunatic from Danville.
Oh, you've heard of me? Yes, and you've heard of me! Seriously.
Where's that comingâ Oh, look, you've already captured Perry the Platypus! My, you do work fast.
Why don't you fill up these forms and I'll consider you for a three-year internship.
I am not here to apply for an internshiâ Ooh, you offer maternity leave.
You can start by making a fresh pot of coffee! Nope, Ferb, not Perry.
This little guy's eyes are too close together and his beak is orange.
Perry's is more of a tangerine.
Nope, too fat.
Too thin.
Too cartoon-y.
Whoa, that one smells like meatloaf! Perry? Perry the Platypus! Peâ Huh? Perry! Get over here.
You're coming home with me so I won't get in trouble with theâ You have a pet beaver? You have a pet platypus.
Touché.
Nope, too blue.
Too angular.
Too French.
That one's just a duck with a beaver tail taped on.
Well, that was the last of them.
Maybe we need to think bigger.
And with music! Perry just loves music, remember? Let's get the guitars.
I've got an idea.
What are you looking at, Perry the Platypus? This is a great job! And look at all I've accomplished.
I mean, just today, I organized this evil invoices, swept his evil lair, picked up his evil dry cleaning.
A-And look, I even had time to do this.
See? "Best Boss.
" And if I do a good job, I could be promoted to head assistant in just three months! Where are you gonna be in three months, huh? Huh? Never mind the three months.
I'll take care of him right now! Wait a minute.
Well, first of all, he's my nemesis! A-And you can't get rid of him now.
Whereâ Where's the fun in that? Youâ You need to explain your whole plan to him.
Don't you have a nemesis? Me? The world is my nemesis! Sorry, this thing doesn't always work.
The world is my nemesis! Perry's gone, and it's It's just my fault.
I can't take it anymore.
I'm gonna have to tell the boys.
Oh, there they are.
Well, I guess now is as good a time as any.
Phineas, Ferb, I just have to tell you that I'm the one who Hey.
Marty the Rabbit Boy and his musical blender? Maybe this'll make you feel better.
Nah, not so much.
Don't look at me like that, Perry the Platypus.
I know what you're thinking.
I'mâ I'm not some lowly intern.
I'm an evil scientist! I'm Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and he should be bowing down to me! Hey you, Mr.
Regurgitator! Let's get things straight! What? Okay, okay.
You see that, Perry the Platypus? Compromise.
Who am I kidding? Ugh! You can do it! You can do it! You can do it! Okay, Regurgitator! I've done everything for you.
I'veâ Y-You see those hard-to-reach files up there? Well I invented these rocket shoes just so you can reach them! A-And look at this! I even put in the self-destruct button that you forgot! What? Why is it counting down? Okay, well, I may have pressed it by mistake.
But at least I didn't push the release button I installed inside Perry the Platypus' cage! Look what you've done! You've pushed my buttons for the last time, you disturbed lunatic! Get ready toâ We did it! We did it! Lo hicimos! We did it! Congratulations, Agent P.
You've defeated the Regurgitator.
As a matter of fact, he just landed in our prison.
You can return immediately to your host family, and Dr.
Doofenshmirtz is once again your nemesis.
So, if we're enemies again, does that meanâ Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Oh, now see there, a-a throw pillow.
Youâ You guys do it right! Excellent.
From the top of this building, everyone in the Tri-State Area should be able to hear us.
(Song: Come Home Perry) Perry You know you are a boy's best friend You're more than just a passing trend You're like a treat from a candy store Oh, Perry We love you more than ice cream cakes We love you more than bugs and snakes We love you more than all things mentioned before Oh, Perry You're extraordinary You're kinda short and hairy The color of a blueberry Yes, Perry So come home, Perry Come home, Perry, come home Hey, Candace, why don't you sing one? Um Oh, Perry I think it's kinda scary I can't find you anywhere-y It fills me with despair-y? Oh, Perry I'm allergic to dairy I'm gonna move to the prairie And change my name to Larry Larry? I ran out of rhymes, all right? (She'll change her name to Larry!) (Larry!) Larry! So, come home, Perry Come home, Perry, come home So, come home, Perry Come home, Perry, come home Come home, Perry, come home Oh, there you are, Perry.
Perry! Good job, Larry.
Welcome home.