The Haunted Hathaways (2013) s02e17 Episode Script

Morning, Miles.
Morning, Ray.
Morning, bowl of fruit.
Whoo-hoo! Wow, what's put you in such a good mood? I have big news.
Really big.
It's ginormous.
Dare I say, gi-mungus? It must be, for you to mangle the English language that way.
Scott invited me to his house for dinner to meet his parents.
(Gasps) Do you realize what that means? Yeah, he doesn't have to pay for the meal.
No, it's a huge step in your relationship! You only get one chance to make a good first impression.
Nothing can go wrong.
Mom's invited, too.
Something just went wrong.
Come on, I'm sure Michelle can make it through one night without doing anything embarrassing.
Hi-zees.
I'm gonna miss Scott.
Look what I found, my first chef's uniform.
Am I rocking this look or what? (Chuckling) Or what.
Mom, we've both been invited to dinner with Scott's parents tomorrow.
Free eats at the boyfriend's house? Jackpot! Mom, please.
Please, please, don't embarrass me - Please.
- For heaven's sake, Taylor.
Don't worry.
Everything will be fine.
Or as we used to say in the food court, "hot diggity, hot diggity, hot diggity dog!" Looks like it's going to be a rough night.
Glad I won't be there to see it.
Miles, you have to come keep an eye on mom.
I already know what I'm going to wear.
(Spooky rock music) Don't know how we ended up this way But I guess you could call us The haunted hathaways Whoa, what went wrong here? What makes you think something went wrong? Gee, someone's got a baaaad attitude.
Ha ha.
I was trying to turn off the TV, and I may have messed up a little.
Everyone makes mistakes.
No need to be sheepish.
I'm leaving.
For your information, I have to go prepare a lesson plan for my student.
I am a tutor.
Oh, I know.
I hear your toots every time you eat ghost beans.
Not that kind of tooter.
A mentor.
A girl in my class asked me to help her with ghosting, and I agreed.
A ghost wants help from you? What's her name, fake-y make-believe-erson? No, it's Delaney, and you'll see her tomorrow when she comes over to learn from the master.
(Clacks hooves) I can't snap with these things! I'll take the stairs.
Mom, why don't we just bring a pie to Scott's? Too easy.
Besides, this is my best gourmet salad recipe.
Wait, where are the croutons? I'm sure it'll be fine without them.
No! Without croutons this salad is absolute garbage! Go grab some.
Quickly.
Ma'am, that's $46.
23.
Sorry, but my daughter is getting some croutons.
She'll be right back.
Could you just cancel your transaction and let me go ahead of you? Yeah, but you're hauling enough food to feed a small country, and aunt Betty's pretty slow here, so Her name's Dolores.
And I applaud senior citizens who still play a vital role in our community.
Oh, yeah, me too.
You are a treasure, Dolores.
Your daughter is still not back yet.
May I please She's close and my meter is about to expire.
Crazy, the number of quarters you got to put in there, am I right? Those quarters pay for our city's roads.
Do you have something against new Orleans? No, no Just judgmental know-it-alls.
Ma'am, do you have your own bags? No, I forgot them.
Unbelievable.
Not only do you inconvenience people, you're also destroying the planet.
Everyone needs to use reusable bags.
You're right.
Planet's looking better already.
- I found the croutons.
- We're leaving.
When does your student get here, Professor Louie? Henceforth, ergo, indubitably.
Can you even use one of those words in a sentence? But of course, when you fart, where does the "ergo?" (Yells) She's here! Are those bunny pajamas and a tutu? Aw, man, it was supposed to be a matching skirt and blazer.
Don't worry, I got this.
(Snaps fingers) Brilliant.
You switched our outfits to teach me that appearances don't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts.
Exactly.
A-plus.
And now my teaching assistant will fix this.
- Dad, that's you.
- Oh, okay.
(Snaps fingers) Thank you, Mr.
Preston.
My pleasure, sweetie.
She's adorable.
Oh, is this your student? Indeed.
That's smart for "yes.
" Delaney, this is my best bud, Frankie.
She's a human, but a pretty cool one.
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.
Mind if I watch your train wreck I mean, lesson? Don't mind her.
We'll begin with levitation.
Try and lift that book.
(Air whooshing) Sorry! Let me try again.
(Air whooshing) Hey! We all make mistakes.
There was actually a time when I even struggled with the simplest ghost trick.
It seemed like just this morning.
Oh, wait, it was.
(Laughs) Oh, you.
She likes to kid.
Let me try that book again.
(Air whooshing) (Grunts) Ouch.
Sorry.
I'm just the worst ghost in the world.
Oh, Louie, maybe you and Delaney should practice where there aren't so many distractions.
Excellent idea.
Follow me to the lecture hall.
That's the living room.
Have you noticed every one of her mistakes ended up on me? There's something off about that girl.
Ah, come on, Frankie.
She may be a bad ghost, but she's a sweetheart.
You know, it's fun having a little girl around the house.
What am I? I mean, you know what I mean, a cute little girl.
And by cute, I mean you look great.
You ready? Yup, let's do this.
I was talking to my daughter.
Can we all just focus on making a good impression here? (Doorbell rings) In that case, someone else might want to hold the salad.
Taylor, miss hathaway, come on in.
Scott, your home is so beautiful.
Thanks, it's built entirely from recycled materials.
Oh, nice, I guess one man's trash is another man's house.
We brought salad.
Croutons? I love croutons.
They're like recycled bread.
I'll tell my mom you're here.
Mom, please, please, please.
What? It was a compliment.
Eh, not really.
Everyone relax.
In social situations, I know when to turn on the old hathaway charm.
(Gasps) It's that horrible woman from the grocery store.
That's Scott's mom.
I stuffed Scott's mom's head in a bag.
Ah, the old hathaway charm.
So sorry to keep you waiting.
She's coming, Miles.
Do something.
Oh, goodness, now how did that happen? Mom, I'd like you to meet Taylor.
Very nice to meet you, Mrs.
baghead.
Baglinson.
Tomlinson.
That embarrassed me, and I'm invisible.
It is so nice to meet you, Taylor.
Scott has told me so much about you.
Where'd your mom go? She had to step into the bathroom for as long as she needs to.
Okay.
I guess you can just join us in the dining room.
Please go in there and help my mom figure out what to do.
I don't know, Taylor.
Let's give her a few more minutes to sort things out on her own.
Okay, student, your next lesson will be moving objects across the room with speed and accuracy.
Wow, you can do that? Uh, yeah, I can do that.
See that peacock? Catch.
(Crash) (Alarm sounds) I like to teach by showing what not to do.
On an unrelated note, I'll be right back.
Teaching assistant.
That's the fifth lamp this month.
Not in front of the student.
Delaney.
How are the lessons coming? Great, Louie's the best teacher in the world.
He's, like, a ghosting genius.
All right, cut the Bambi act, sister.
What are you talking about? No one puts Louie and genius in the same sentence.
You're up to something.
It's no accident all your ghosting tricks backfired onto me.
I think you're a better ghost than you're letting on.
Well, I think you should mind your own business.
(Air whooshing) Okay, so you got levitating down pretty good.
Stay out of my way.
Hey, open up.
(Knock on door) You're a ghost, Louie.
Oh, right.
Open up or I'll haunt you.
(Continues knocking) (Air whooshing) Everything okay in here? Sure.
(Laughs) Frankie and I were just getting to know each other.
Right, Frankie? (Groans) Let's hope Michelle doesn't notice this new lamp.
Lucky for us, someone was throwing away this beauty.
Boom! Okay, ready to get back to work? I got to go home for dinner, but I'll be back later.
I still need lots of help if I'm ever gonna be as good as you.
Delaney, it's probably best if you set realistic goals.
Don't say a word to Louie.
You have no idea what I'm capable of.
I have my eyes on you.
You know, pops, I think I have a gift for teaching.
Probably because I'm good at telling things in a way that people can figure out what I'm trying to say about the thing.
You mean, you're articulate? Ergo.
Louie, Ray, I may be putting myself at risk, but you have to know the truth.
Delaney is lying.
I know what's going on here.
You're jealous.
Jealous? I'm trying to protect you.
You just can't stand that I have a friend who compliments my fine ghosting.
But they're lies.
Your ghosting stinks.
Everybody knows that.
Wow.
I didn't mean that.
I meant it stinks in a good way.
Like garlic fries.
You know, if I have to choose between a friend who respects me and one who insults me, I pick respect.
Uh-oh.
Teaching assistant! I'm sorry Scott's dad couldn't be here.
He got held up at the hospital.
I didn't know your dad was a doctor.
He's not.
He likes to play the accordion and sing to newborn babies.
Oh, Taylor, this is my grandpa Ed.
Nice to meet you, grandpa Ed.
He seems nice.
I do hope your mother is all right.
She's been in there quite a while.
Oh, I'm sure she's just Concentrating.
This is a disaster! What should I do? I can't just leave.
I don't want to be a rude guest.
By the way, did I tell you what's in their medicine cabinet? You know, I could always use ghosting to change your appearance, just enough so Mrs.
tomlinson doesn't recognize you.
That's better than my idea.
All I could come up with was throw a bag on her head and run for the border.
Okay, let's get to work.
Maybe we should start without her.
I wouldn't want the salad to get Cold.
Here I am! Ah, so glad you could join us! Michelle hathaway.
So nice to meet you for the very first time.
Wow, Ms.
hathaway? What's with your hair? Scott, manners.
I think it looks lovely.
I think it looks like our next door neighbor's wig.
We need to get that back on her head before she wakes up.
There's my teaching assistant.
Your assistant needs a free period.
This is why our educational system is in the dumps.
Okay, Delaney, illusion time.
Giant scorpions on three.
One, two, three! (Snaps fingers) Aw, I goofed again.
But thanks for cheering me up with the hula skirt.
Extra credit for picking up on that.
Teaching assistant! Now where did I put that? Oh, hey, guys, don't mind me.
I'm just looking for my music book.
Haven't seen it.
You can leave now.
Ooh, there it is on the piano.
Mind if I play something I've been working on? We're kind of in the middle of something don't mind if I do.
Let's see, it goes a little something like this.
("Pop the weasel" playing) (Roar) (Screams) (Yelling) Delaney, nice moves for a beginner.
Delaney? How'd you do that? It's all thanks to you.
You're such an amazing teacher.
And I can't thank you enough for out with it! Fine.
I'm a level six ghost.
(Gasps) Six? Frankie, you were right.
I should probably apologize.
Um (Snaps fingers) So you were just messing with me this whole time? I had a really good reason.
Oh, yeah? What is it? Oh, I like him.
I like-him, like-him.
You what-me what-me? I thought if I pretend to be a bad ghost, you'd spend time with me.
I made us matching bracelets so we could be a couple! Ew, no way! So gross! I knew the reason was going to be bad, but this is worse than I thought.
Oh, quiet, you.
Hey, put my friend down! Not until you put on the bracelet.
Don't do it! It's probably got cooties.
Stay away from me, you! This was not in today's lesson planner.
Put it on! You're mine! All mine! (Yells) Mmm, these scallops are ever so lovely.
Your voice sounds funny, Ms.
h.
She has allergies.
Oh, we have an inhaler for our cat, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you use it.
She's fine.
I got the scallops at Gibson's market.
They have great seafood, but I am never going back.
Yesterday I had a run in with this woman who was a real piece of work.
Piece of work? She held up the whole line while her daughter was looking for croutons.
(Coughs) And when I asked to go ahead of her, she assaulted me with my own bag.
Maybe she was just doing her best not to throttle you.
Excuse me? Okay, time for an ice breaker! (Clapping) I'm Taylor from Thailand And I eat trail mix Go, mom I'm just saying, maybe she didn't like being insulted by some holier-than-thou busybody! You! You're the crazy lady.
I'd recognize that rude tone anywhere! - Oh, how dare you.
- Who are you to talk about (Both talking at once) You're scallops are overcooked! Your lack of salad making skills! Do something.
I'm Miles from Malaysia and I eat mangos About the fight! Oh, right.
All right, that's enough! Shut your pieholes! You ought to be ashamed.
These two whippersnappers are trying to start a relationship, and you biddies are muckin' it up with your petty squabblin'.
Grandpa.
That's the first time you've ever spoken English! He's Hungarian.
I guess that message must have been important to him.
Now you two fools make up.
Do it or I'll throw my dentures at ya! Well, that was certainly odd.
But he's right.
I should never have asked to skip ahead of you in line.
I'm sorry.
No, I was wrong to hold you up.
It's my fault.
Can we start over? Yes.
I guess this could have gone worse.
Are you kidding? This was great.
We found out we have more in common than we thought.
We both have crazy moms.
Tonight was a big step for you wacky kids.
I'm glad I was here to see it.
Thanks for inviting us, Scott.
You live here, grandpa.
Yes.
Yes, I do.
You are so getting expelled.
Bad student, bad student! Stop acting childish.
Let me break it down for you.
Girls are icky! Ugh, fine.
I'm just going to give the bracelet to Teddy.
Yeah, you do that.
He has his own bike.
With a bell.
Thank goodness she's gone.
Yeah, great.
What's with you? It's just that it was nice to have someone to look up to me for once.
You know, there was a time when you looked up to me.
I was kind of like your hero.
You mean those first 20 minutes before I really got to know you? Yeah, that was a special time.
But now you just think I'm a clown.
That's not true.
I may joke around, but I've never stopped thinking you're super cool.
Even when you make mistakes, they're totally awesome.
You really think so? Yeah, and you were right when you said I was jealous.
It was hard seeing you with a new friend.
You're my best bud.
I guess I should tell you that more often.
Thanks, Frankie, I feel a lot better.
Let's watch TV, and I'll turn it on.
(Snaps fingers) Like I said, totally awesome.
(Traditional Hungarian music) Boy, grandpa's really kicking up his heels tonight.
Well, this night had a little bit of everything.
We should go.
Miles, let's go.
Now that was a fun night.
(Speaking Hungarian) What did he just say? I don't know.