The Irrational (2023) s02e17 Episode Script
Suddenly Alec
1
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hey!
Good morning, good morning,
good morning.
So you all know me as your professor,
but I also play
different roles in my life.
I am a mentor.
I am a semiprofessional chess player.
I am a 4.95-rated Uber passenger.
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
And apparently a so-so comedian.
Point is, we all play
different roles in life.
But those roles can take on
a life of their own.
In a recent experiment,
Rizwan and I
had 20 students take a math test,
but we gave half of them the
answers at the bottom of the sheet.
To no one's surprise,
the students who had
the answers scored higher,
and half of them received
a certificate
declaring them
high math achievers.
That certificate in hand,
these students started
to believe
they were better at math
than they really were.
We brought that same group
back to take another math test,
but this time,
we asked the students to bet
on how well they'd do.
The students with the certificates
bet twice as much on themselves.
And how did that turn out, Phoebe?
They overestimated their abilities.
100% of them.
Or, as they'd say, 110%.
[LAUGHTER]
So today we're going to talk
about self-deception,
which can be insidious.
So when you take on these
different mantles of your life,
it's really hard to remember
what is real
and what is simply playing a part.
This isn't really my role, Ashok.
I know.
I hired you to work for my firm,
but now I need something personal.
You want me to follow your fiancé
based on a feeling
that something's wrong?
We're getting married in a month.
But Malcolm, he's acting strange.
He's muttering to himself.
He's working late every night.
You said he's a paralegal
working for an estate lawyer.
That's not unusual.
Yeah, but I just found out
that his boss has been
sipping champagne at the French Open
for the last two weeks.
Plus, I overheard this intense call
with someone named Des.
We don't know any Des.
Ashok
No, I know what you're gonna say,
but Malcolm is not cheating.
I know him.
He wouldn't do that.
Rose, please.
I'm worried.
And I don't trust anyone but you.
I know following Ashok's fiancé
isn't exactly the dinner we had planned,
but Ashok is a very important client.
It's fine.
You owe me surf and turf after this.
I just need photo evidence
that Malcolm is cheating,
and we'll be on our way.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪
Not exactly a romantic
location for a tryst.
It is remote.
Diversion from his routine.
He's been secretive.
His body language doesn't read affair.
He's anxious.
Maybe corporate espionage?
♪
Maybe not.
♪
Maybe we should split up.
But do not engage.
We don't know what we're heading into.
Just call me if you see anything.
♪
Ooh.
Are you here for the plant?
Yes.
Yes, I am.
Go on in.
♪
Are you ready?
You're here to audition
for the plant, right?
♪
[WHISPERING] The plant.
[NORMALLY] Yes.
I'm here to audition.
Hey, man, don't be nervous. [CHUCKLES]
I'm Edgar.
I'll be reading with you.
Edgar.
- Alec. Hi.
- It's a really fun role.
And we all want you to be great.
So no pressure, yeah.
Oh, man.
[MACHETE CLATTERS]
Guess I didn't let
that glue dry long enough.
You built that yourself?
Yeah.
We all pitch in wherever we can.
Kind of
the community theater spirit.
We talking character here?
I'm Ursula, the director.
You know "Little Shop
of Horrors," right?
Uh
Poor, meek orphan boy wants girl.
Plant from outer space
helps boy get girl.
Then the bloodthirsty plant
tries to eat everyone he knows.
But I wanna keep it grounded,
you know?
[CHUCKLES]
All right, let's go.
Can you hold that open?
[GRUNTS] Thank you. Yep.
Sorry. I'm here.
Ah, sitter canceled.
Can you help me pull this on?
I think my bicep got too big.
Just
Who's been messing with the AC?
Ursula wants it cold for comedy.
Edgar Jordan?
That's not his name.
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
Huh.
The infamous Des.
♪
Five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four.
And five, six
Hi there. [CHUCKLES]
I couldn't help but notice
Desmond Thorn is
in this production.
- Are you a fan?
- Oh, yes.
I saw his "Titus Andronicus"
in Hoboken ten years ago.
Unforgettable.
I don't suppose
you could introduce me?
We have not seen that man
in three days.
He just up and left
without a word.
Yeah, maybe this
janky theater couldn't pay him.
[LAUGHTER]
Are you all being paid?
No, he's the only one.
They fly him out here every year
so he can feel like a star
at the Robert Hawkins
Community Theater.
But if he's gone,
what happens to the show?
We're holding emergency
auditions right now.
Hopefully one of these clowns is
decent enough to replace him.
How am I supposed to keep on
feeding you, kill people?
I'll make it worth your while.
What?
You think
this is all coincidence, baby?
The sudden success around here,
your adoption papers
[PHONE BUZZING]
I'm so sorry.
I I have to take this.
[SIGHS] Let's take five.
Remind me which one of us
is a professional spy again?
It looks like
Malcolm's just starring
in a community theater musical.
Why keep a secret so mundane
from someone you love?
Secret theater, secret identity.
He's using the name Edgar Jordan.
There's more to this.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Keep her occupied.
- Ursula.
- Yeah?
Would you read the scene with me?
♪
[KEYPAD BEEPING, LOCK CLICKS]
♪
Don't freak out, OK?
No, no, that is not what happened.
We had a deal.
Don't call anyone.
Don't do anything.
I'm I am taking care of it.
I don't want anyone else
getting involved.
Just
♪
Just give me a couple more days.
♪
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN, CLICKS SHUT]
[RATS SQUEAKING]
♪
I think I found Des.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Rose, this is Detective Serrano.
He's a friend of a friend.
When Detective Hall says
a case needs our attention,
we jump at it.
Told me about the work you did
on the Vincent Lee case.
Says you're great at what you do.
So you found the body?
He's an actor here.
Last time anyone saw him
was at dress rehearsal
for Act 1 on Monday night.
Well, lucky you were here.
My officers say
the construction crew bailed a week ago.
A couple of months ago, a burst pipe,
but they ran out of money
before the repairs were complete.
Plus the cold weather.
It could have been days
before anyone discovered him.
And you don't think
this was an accident?
No.
I found his glasses over here.
Des was wearing them in his headshot.
And this room here was
covered in construction dust,
except the area around the shaft.
Like someone moved the body?
Maybe he was killed here
and dragged into the hole.
Well, the autopsy will
give us some answers.
If he was killed, the culprit would be
one of those theater people.
How do you know that?
Well, according to several of them,
the access code to that door
was recently changed.
They're the only ones that have it.
We're gonna treat this as a homicide.
We could help with that.
We're here on a separate investigation,
and we're already undercover.
I just auditioned an hour ago.
People are more inclined
to be honest with their peers
as opposed to an authority figure.
They all think it was an accident.
We can keep it that way,
until you officially know otherwise.
I don't know.
Like Detective Hall said,
we're very good at what we do.
Fine.
You go ahead while I work on forensics.
Just keep me posted. Keep it safe.
I assure you, Detective,
I'm well-trained
to handle any dangerous threats
we might face,
even actors.
If someone in the company did kill Des,
you think it was Malcolm?
There's certainly something wrong.
That call he took was suspicious.
Ashok heard him talking to Des.
And he goes by Edgar.
Joining the company is
the only way of finding out.
But Des is dead.
Do you think
they'll still put on the show?
Community theater is voluntary.
These people are here
because they want to be.
Because they love
the art they're creating.
The IKEA effect.
We place more value on
the things we build ourselves.
What are you gonna tell Ashok?
[CHUCKLES] Nothing.
Yet.
I'm starting to wish this case
was just a little adultery.
Hi, everyone. Hi.
As you know, I don't just
play Audrey in the show.
My grandfather founded
the Robert Hawkins
Community Theater 50 years ago.
It's his legacy and mine.
So it breaks my heart
to have to do this.
But after Des' accident,
we have to cancel the show.
It's the right thing to do.
[PEOPLE MURMURING]
I hear you, Maya.
I just I just wish
it didn't have to be.
- Am I the only one?
- No.
- No.
- No, I agree with you.
Agreed, yeah.
I know I'm new here,
but even in the last few hours,
I've been blown away
by the sense of community.
You all are obviously great
at what you do,
and you've spent so much time
building this thing together.
And everybody's so passionate and
and creative.
It really would be a shame
to lose this now.
[SOFT MUSIC]
We're so close to opening.
If we keep going,
we could do it for Des, in his honor.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
That would be a great tribute.
All right, what do we think?
The show must go on?
- Right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- OK.
All right.
I guess I'll see you all
at rehearsal tomorrow.
[APPLAUSE]
OK. It's gonna be OK.
That was quite a speech.
I meant every word.
That voice, so commanding and rich.
Perfect for Audrey II.
Tell me you sing.
Absolutely he does.
His a cappella group won
the collegiate championship.
Who are you?
I'm his acting coach.
I went to RADA.
I'm on sabbatical here.
Well, we're a little short
of hands backstage.
How about you be on the run crew?
Of course. Yes.
You got the part.
We have 48 hours to get you
ready for opening night.
Don't get cold feet, 'cause
none of the other auditions
were even close.
But you haven't heard
all the other auditions yet.
I don't mean to derail anything, Ursula,
but I was really hoping
to read for Audrey II.
Oh, Sameer, you sweet soul.
You are a sound and lighting wizard.
This play only succeeds because
you are running the board.
You'd be wasted on Audrey II.
Now, I have to talk costumes
with Cassius.
We good?
All right.
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
♪
I'm supposed to play Audrey II?
The plant?
Kylie made me watch that movie.
It's a huge role. I can't do that.
Don't worry. I will help you.
I love "Little Shop."
I played Audrey in drama college.
In fact, I'm a tiny bit jealous
you get to do this.
You wanna take a crack at it?
How's your low range?
I'm serious.
We only need to embed long enough
to figure out what happened to Des
and what Malcolm had to do with it.
We'll solve this case
before opening night.
You've got this. You'll be fine.
- There he is, Mr. Audrey II.
- OK!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪
This above all:
to thine own self be true.
And thou canst not then
be false to any man.
Sorry for interrupting. I'm Rose.
I'm a new member of the run crew.
Just getting a lay of the land.
Edgar.
I was just, uh,
doing Des' pre-show ritual.
I'm so sorry about what happened.
Did you know him well?
Not really.
But he was always kind to me.
Happy to share his wisdom and whiskey.
[CHUCKLES]
I feel so guilty about it all.
What do you mean?
I was mad at him for running off.
Same as everyone else.
When the truth is,
he was just lying there,
and none of us knew.
♪
How awful.
You'll do all your lines and songs
from this offstage vocal booth.
Um, we'll get the puppeteers here
to talk to you about coordination.
Sounds good.
[SCOFFS] This mic is in the wrong place.
It is supposed to be up here,
by your mouth.
I mean oh, whatever.
It seems obvious.
I'll have to talk to Sameer about this.
Is that Des'?
Yes.
I suppose I have to call his family
and return his belongings.
Just, um, leave it aside for now.
♪
Paris Haskell,
some suspicious diamonds
turned up last night.
There were GIA etchings inside.
We traced them back to a robbery
committed by your crew
six years ago in Chicago.
What can you tell us about that day?
I don't have to tell you anything.
You got me a field trip
from federal prison.
I'm gonna make that last
as long as possible.
You organized a robbery.
Two innocent people died.
And your whole crew got rounded up,
except somebody got away
with these diamonds.
Who was it?
Desmond Thorn?
♪
Looks like you get
five hours a week on the yard.
And you are 6 years
into a 20-year sentence.
Time must go slow.
What if we could get you
double the time on the yard?
Desmond Thorn.
I don't know who that is.
So you don't want the deal?
No, no, no. No, I mean it.
Guy who jacked the diamonds,
name is Fabian Banks.
And he's a rat.
Betrayed all of us.
Wasn't even part of our crew.
Just played lookout
every once in a while.
You wouldn't happen to know
where he is, would you?
Deal is, you give us information,
not the other way around.
[SIGHS]
[PHONE BUZZING]
Hello?
Ms. Dinshaw?
I'm Aly,
from Dr. Laurence's office.
I just wanted to verify
your contact information
for Dr. Mercer's
upcoming procedure.
Sorry. Upcoming procedure?
Yes, his laser therapy
appointment next week.
Of course, yes.
- This is the right number.
- Perfect.
I send over a PDF
with aftercare instructions.
If you have any questions,
let me know.
Absolutely. Thank you so much.
Bye.
Sorry.
- Hey, Quinn.
- Hey.
Marisa asked me to show you this.
Paris says he has no idea who Des is.
Says the guy who has
the diamonds is Fabian Banks.
- Do you recognize him?
- Yes.
Except I know him as Edgar Jordan
and Malcolm Ward.
How many roles is he playing?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[TENSE MUSIC]
[CHUCKLES] How do you know where I live?
Fabian Banks?
Wha what's going on?
They're here because I hired them.
♪
You had me looked into?
Followed?
Well, clearly, I had reason to.
I'm engaged to someone
with three identities.
Fabian, Edgar, Malcolm.
There's a reason I haven't
told you certain things.
The police don't think that
Des just fell into that hole.
You're at the center
of a murder investigation.
What?
Des was murdered?
No.
I I didn't kill anybody.
We know you weren't just scene partners.
So if you want us to believe you,
you need to explain.
Start at the beginning.
OK.
Ten years ago,
I was a struggling
theater actor in Chicago.
I was dating another actor.
Eddie.
But his day job was
a little different.
He was in Paris Haskell's crew.
Sometimes they asked me to keep watch.
I could barely afford headshots.
They said no one would get hurt.
But something happened.
Robbery went wrong.
People died.
Eddie and I, we ran.
But the crew caught up with us.
And they killed him.
So you turned them in.
You're in witness protection.
That's why Marisa couldn't find you.
The database is sealed.
I had to stop them,
even if it meant
leaving my whole life behind.
And you ended up here as Malcolm Ward.
If you were in WITSEC,
why join a theater production?
You literally put yourself
in the spotlight.
After six years,
I thought using a fake name
at some Podunk theater
in the middle of nowhere
would be safe.
Social identity theory.
You sought a community
that gave you comfort.
My God, I have no idea who you are.
No, that's not true.
The names don't matter.
You you know me, and I know you.
I can't even think right now, OK?
I I need some space.
- Ashok
- Please just go.
Excuse me.
Malcolm, wait.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[DOOR SLAMS]
♪
I don't know if this helps,
but studies show that if you
play a role for some time,
you start to believe that's who you are.
So you're saying he really is Malcolm?
More importantly,
I don't think he was pretending
to love you for three years.
♪
Hey, hey, hey.
Slow down.
Take a deep breath.
I just ruined
the best thing
that has ever happened to me.
It was stupid thinking that I could be
three different people.
Mm. Four, if you count Seymour.
[SCOFFS]
I know what it's like
having to hide parts of yourself.
It takes a toll.
That's why I needed the Hawkins.
I have to ask,
did Des know about your past?
Was he blackmailing you?
We found the diamonds.
I didn't realize Eddie had kept them.
I found them when I was packing up,
after it was all over.
I know I should have turned them in,
but I was scared it would look
like I had lied to the cops.
So you held on to them.
Then when I heard
the theater was failing,
I saw a chance to do some good.
So I made a plan with Des.
You didn't want to be
linked back to the diamonds,
so he'd exchange them for money instead.
He was broke.
I said I'd give him a cut.
He was happy to look like the hero.
But he never showed up
to sell the diamonds.
I heard you on the phone yesterday.
That was the fence?
When Des didn't show, I assumed he ran.
I swear, I didn't know he was dead.
I believe you.
Did anyone else know about your plan?
I don't think so.
I told Des to keep his mouth shut
until he had the money in hand.
So if the diamonds weren't the motive,
who had reason to kill Des?
Don't get cute with me!
I made you, and I can break you.
I can't believe you're off-book.
My predecessor wasn't?
You know, I was reading up about Des.
You guys were supposed to do
a movie together.
What happened?
He pulled out three days before filming
because he got something better.
Whole thing fell apart,
and my career went with it.
♪
Hey.
[SNIFFS]
It's whiskey.
A parting gift from Des.
As if I haven't picked up
enough of his bar tabs already.
I heard he had some money issues.
Well, not as many after
I gave him a couple grand.
That is money I will never get back.
[SCOFFS]
[CHUCKLES]
I may just be a stage manager by night,
but by day, I'm a plastic surgeon.
- [VOCALIZING]
- I'm an award-winning
high school choir director.
But the way Des told it, I'm a hack
who can't keep time to save my life.
- [VOCALIZING]
- You know what?
You're a little flat
from the third to the fifth.
Just give me a wide smile.
Brighten it up. Yeah, good.
[VOCALIZING]
My wife came to visit last week.
Des hit on her.
He knew she was married, but to Des,
a wedding ring is just a suggestion.
Oh, my God.
No, no, it's fine. It's fine.
I'm just drowning in paperwork,
trying to keep this place afloat.
And he called me a nepo baby influencer.
Whatever.
I've got 250,000 TikTok followers,
so more people know my name than his.
Autopsy came back.
You were right.
ME might not have even noticed it
had they not been looking for it.
But turns out,
trauma to the victim's head
couldn't have been caused by that fall.
Anybody stand out as having motive?
All of them.
Des wasn't exactly
the most beloved member
of that theater company.
And they all had access
to that prop room.
So literally anyone in the
company could be the murderer?
[SIGHS] Yep.
Must be blood.
Twoey, that's disgusting.
Must be fresh.
I don't wanna hear this.
Good. So, Seymour, just give me,
"I don't wanna to hear this," in rhythm.
And then, Audrey II, if you
just watch me from the window,
I'll give you a, "Three, four,"
"Feed me,"
and we'll be together on the downbeat.
- Makes sense?
- Let's try it from the booth.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪
Feed me.
OK.
[METAL CREAKING]
Oh, my God! What the hell happened?
Are you OK?
Wow, it's lucky it didn't hit you.
Yeah.
Real lucky.
[TENSE MUSIC]
- Hey, Sameer?
- I know. I know.
Cue 37 was slower
than you wanted it to be.
The speaker in my booth just fell.
Oh, God! Are you OK?
[CHUCKLES] I'm good.
But it's odd, right?
Two accidents.
First Des. Now me almost.
Like whoever plays the plant is cursed.
And you're the only one
who goes up on the grid.
Wait, are you saying
I made the speaker fall?
Why would I do that?
You wanted to play Audrey II.
Seriously?
Yeah, I wanted to play the plant
but not enough to kill over it.
Why were you in the booth before?
I'm the sound guy.
Ursula's paranoid something's
wrong with the plant mic.
There was a bad cue on Monday,
so now I triple-check it.
What cue?
Des was muffled
in the last scene of Act 1.
And that was the last time
anyone heard from Des, correct?
I guess, yeah.
If that was the last time
you heard from him,
when was the last time you
actually saw Des that night?
After he sang "Feed Me."
Third scene before intermission.
He came up to give me
a stupid audio note
and then left to get a drink.
A drink?
He hides his whiskey in the prop room.
Anyone else know that?
Everyone.
♪
Everyone thinks Des died
Monday after rehearsal,
but no one actually saw him
after "Feed Me."
They just heard his lines.
What if that wasn't Des?
What if it was whoever killed him?
That would mean
our whole timeline is wrong.
Des wasn't killed after the rehearsal.
- He was killed during it.
- Mm-hmm.
He sang "Feed Me," then took a break
because he wasn't in "Do It Now."
Mm, you really do know "Little Shop."
[CHUCKLES]
This is the book, with all
the blocking and scene changes.
"Do It Now" is one of
production's busiest moments.
There's a massive scene change,
lighting, costume changes.
And from the notes, it looks
like everyone had work to do.
Yet someone managed to kill Des
and use the musical as their alibi.
There's only one way
to find out for sure.
- What?
- Perform the play and find out
who had time to kill, so to speak.
But we just did our last rehearsal.
Which means our only chance
to identify the murderer
is for you to do the play
on opening night.
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
♪
Does this look inanimate to you, punk?
It's feeling a little stiff.
Does this look inanimate to you, punk?
Um, let's drop the script
and shake it all out.
Come on. Shake it all out.
[PUFFING]
[VOCALIZING] Shake it out.
What are you doing?
Oh, come on.
We need to help Alec loosen up
to find Audrey II.
Remember when you said
we just had to get through rehearsal?
And remember when you auditioned
and earned the role on your own?
That means you can do this.
- [GROANS]
- [LAUGHS] Come on.
You stand in front of students,
CEOs, dignitaries
and deliver your wisdom
without breaking a sweat.
But that's different. I'm comfortable
talking about psychology,
my field that I've studied for years,
as myself, Alec Mercer, not an actor.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, this is a different role,
but you can still bring
that Alec Mercer confidence to it
with the right kind of preparation.
- Mm.
- Now, come on.
Shake it up. Shake.
Come on. You can do it. Shake.
Hoo! Let it all out. Loosey-goosey.
[VOCALIZING]
[LAUGHING] I can't. I can't.
I can't do that. I can't.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Ah.
Oh, I tried.
- [LAUGHS]
- Mm.
I got a call about
your laser therapy procedure.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't know you decided
to go through with it.
The specialist called out of the blue
and said there was information
about a new way
to reduce my scarring without opioids.
- That's great.
- It is.
So why didn't you just tell me?
When Marisa and I first met,
I was a full-time patient.
And the better part
of our relationship was
her being the caregiver.
She didn't complain, but
but I don't want that to be us.
I don't want you to worry
about taking care of me.
[SOFT MUSIC]
I am your partner.
That means whatever we need to do
for each other in any moment, we will,
without hesitation.
I'm happy to be your emergency contact.
- Mm?
- Mm.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Mm. Mm-mm.
What I'm not happy about, though,
is with the phrasing
of that last line you did.
OK.
It's just one breath and one thought.
OK?
Uh, does this look
inanimate to you, punk?
OK, so not to give you a line read,
but something like
does this look inanimate to you, punk?
[CLICKS TONGUE]
- [CLICKS TONGUE]
- Give it some oomph!
Mm!
Don't worry.
You'll be ready for opening night.
Come on, Seymour, don't be a putz ♪
Trust me and your life
will surely rival King Tut's ♪
Show a little initiative,
work up the guts ♪
And you'll get it ♪
I don't know ♪
I don't know ♪
[WHISPERING] Simon is gonna
be so mad he missed this.
Come on, Seymour, don't trust the plant.
Reservations ♪
Should I go ♪
And perform ♪
Mutilations ♪
How's about a room at the Ritz ♪
Wrapped in velvet, covered in glitz ♪
A little nookie's gonna
clean up your zits ♪
[WHISPERING] I can't believe
that's the professor.
I can't believe this is my brother.
If you wanna be profound ♪
Then you really gotta justify ♪
Take a breath and look around ♪
A lot of folks deserve to die ♪
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
That's not a very nice thing to say.
- But it's true, isn't it?
- No.
I don't know anyone who deserves to get
chopped up and fed to a hungry plant.
Mm
sure, you do.
Cassius, I'm so sorry.
I forgot to preset the bucket of guts
for the end of the first act.
- Where are they?
- All the way in the prop room.
But I have to help with the
scene change from stage left.
Can you grab them?
No, I have to set up
the dentist's office.
What about Mariana? Duke?
Everybody's busy.
But Maya can do it.
Maya? She's in the next scene.
She's a dentist patient,
then a skid row bum.
That's two full costume changes
before the end of the act.
She underdressed.
She wore all three costumes layered
so she can just remove one to save time.
At least that's what she did for dress.
So Maya was available
during the last dentist scene on Monday?
Yes.
She'll help.
How do you like that?
Stupid dame forgets to bring a sweater.
Christ!
If your stupid head weren't screwed on!
Oh!
[TENSE MUSIC]
Good night, Seymour.
Good night, Mr. Mushnik!
Little red dots.
All over the floor.
[YELPS, LAUGHS]
You scared me. What are you doing?
Gotta get ready for the next song.
You always know where
everyone's supposed to be.
Running a theater, growing up here,
you must know every department.
Lighting, sound, prop storage.
Well, I'm smarter
than people give me credit for.
Right.
Like how you underdressed
your costumes on Monday
for the dentist scene.
Yeah. It's faster that way.
With the added benefit
of allowing you time
to kill Des and make it back onstage
by the end of the act.
What?
You're letting the play get to you.
I found the phone
you use to make your TikToks.
It also has recordings
of you and Des rehearsing.
Must be blood. Must be fresh.
That's what everyone heard Monday night.
It wasn't Des. It was you playing that.
Because you'd already killed him.
[CHUCKLES]
Why would I kill the star of my show?
This theater is my family's legacy.
It's not a legacy.
It's an albatross around your neck.
We did some checking.
You got an offer for the land
to the tune of almost a million dollars.
One problem, there was a clause
in your grandfather's will.
You can only sell this theater
if it isn't profitable.
Everyone knew
that this place was struggling.
You couldn't even pay
your construction crew.
But then Des came.
I have the money.
You can save your theater.
I'm announcing it to everyone
after rehearsal tonight.
But if Des gave you
the money, you couldn't sell.
Instead of a million dollars,
you'd be stuck with this
fledgling theater forever.
So then what?
You made a plan to kill Des.
You snuck away and caught him
in the props room.
No! No, I
it's not true.
♪
I never planned to kill him.
I went down there to talk him out of it.
But God forbid you try
to talk Des out of anything.
He wouldn't hear it.
We fought, and then
I have it all figured out, OK?
I'm telling them tonight.
No, no, no, no, you can't.
[GRUNTS]
[BREATHING SHAKILY]
It was an accident.
He hit his head.
Except you dragged the body into a shaft
very much on purpose.
And what about the speaker
that fell in my booth?
Was that an accident too?
I was just trying to make it stop.
We should have shut down
the show after Des died.
I was trying to make people
think that we were cursed.
I'm sorry.
[CLAPPING]
Semi-convincing performance.
The Hawkins Theater special.
No, no, no, no, no. Wait.
You're under arrest.
What the hell's going on here?
She's supposed to be onstage
in three minutes.
Not my problem.
Let's go.
Tell my followers.
Tell them I'm coming back.
You're gonna hear from my lawyer.
You have a cue coming up.
Our Audrey was just arrested.
But you were the one who inspired us
to keep going with all of this
in the first place.
Don't bail on me now.
Feed me.
I can't take much more of this.
Look, I'll run down to the corner
and get you a pound of rare roast beef.
Maybe that'll hold you
till "Life" magazine gets here.
Uh-uh!
No way!
Look, it's my last offer.
Yes or no?
It's better than nothing!
Done!
Great!
And don't think you're getting dessert.
Hmph!
[PENSIVE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
[PEOPLE MURMURING]
[WHISPERING] That's supposed
to be Audrey's entrance.
[MUSIC STOPS]
[WHISPERING] Improvise.
[MUSIC RESUMES]
I couldn't sleep ♪
I took a Sominex ♪
But voices in my head keep saying ♪
"Go to Seymour ♪
Talk to Seymour" ♪
I drank some tea ♪
But, gee, the feeling wasn't gone ♪
Seymour, sweetheart ♪
Tell me, darling ♪
What's been going on ♪
Little lady, hello ♪
Who who said that?
You're looking cute as can be ♪
Is somebody there?
You're lookin' mighty sweet ♪
Seymour?
- Seymour.
- No, it ain't Seymour.
It's me.
Oh, my God.
Your friendly Audrey II ♪
This plant is talkin' to you ♪
I don't believe it.
Believe it, baby. It talks.
Am I dreaming this?
No, and you ain't in Kansas neither.
Something's very wrong here.
Relax and go with it, doll.
Do me a favor, will you, sweetheart?
A favor?
I need me some water in the worst way.
Look at my branch.
I'm a goner, honey.
Come on and give me a drink ♪
I don't know if I should.
Hey, little lady, be nice ♪
You just want some water, right?
Sure do, I'll drink it straight ♪
Oh, your branches are dry. Poor thing.
Don't need no glass and no ice ♪
I'll get the can.
Don't need no twist of lime ♪
Here you go.
And now it's suppertime ♪
Oh! Oh!
[MUNCHING]
[CACKLES]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Who do I sign it to?
- Alejandro.
- Alejandro.
You were both incredible.
Us? What about you?
No.
That was amazing.
Ashok, I
I've never seen you do
anything like that before.
I'm so sorry
you had to hide it for so long.
- I never meant to hurt you.
- I understand that now.
[SOFT MUSIC]
Look, whatever was in your past,
we'll deal with it.
- What's important is our future.
- [CHUCKLES]
Together.
♪
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
There he is!
Audrey II! [LAUGHS]
- What are you doing here?
- Oh.
I definitely didn't tell you.
Mm!
You think you can keep a secret from me?
Uh-uh. And I bet you're glad
I made you watch that movie now.
OK, well hey.
Hi. This is amazing.
[LAUGHS] What did you think?
One of the better productions I've seen.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, it was so good.
And Rose oh, my God.
- Yeah, that was incredible.
- Where'd she go?
I have so many questions.
I'll be right back.
You're missing out.
I got more compliments about you.
What's wrong?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
You got a case, didn't you?
Something like that.
Well, it's OK.
You have to travel.
We'll figure it out.
We always do.
It's not like that.
It, um
it involves someone from my past.
Someone I never told you about.
OK.
Who?
My husband.
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hey!
Good morning, good morning,
good morning.
So you all know me as your professor,
but I also play
different roles in my life.
I am a mentor.
I am a semiprofessional chess player.
I am a 4.95-rated Uber passenger.
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
And apparently a so-so comedian.
Point is, we all play
different roles in life.
But those roles can take on
a life of their own.
In a recent experiment,
Rizwan and I
had 20 students take a math test,
but we gave half of them the
answers at the bottom of the sheet.
To no one's surprise,
the students who had
the answers scored higher,
and half of them received
a certificate
declaring them
high math achievers.
That certificate in hand,
these students started
to believe
they were better at math
than they really were.
We brought that same group
back to take another math test,
but this time,
we asked the students to bet
on how well they'd do.
The students with the certificates
bet twice as much on themselves.
And how did that turn out, Phoebe?
They overestimated their abilities.
100% of them.
Or, as they'd say, 110%.
[LAUGHTER]
So today we're going to talk
about self-deception,
which can be insidious.
So when you take on these
different mantles of your life,
it's really hard to remember
what is real
and what is simply playing a part.
This isn't really my role, Ashok.
I know.
I hired you to work for my firm,
but now I need something personal.
You want me to follow your fiancé
based on a feeling
that something's wrong?
We're getting married in a month.
But Malcolm, he's acting strange.
He's muttering to himself.
He's working late every night.
You said he's a paralegal
working for an estate lawyer.
That's not unusual.
Yeah, but I just found out
that his boss has been
sipping champagne at the French Open
for the last two weeks.
Plus, I overheard this intense call
with someone named Des.
We don't know any Des.
Ashok
No, I know what you're gonna say,
but Malcolm is not cheating.
I know him.
He wouldn't do that.
Rose, please.
I'm worried.
And I don't trust anyone but you.
I know following Ashok's fiancé
isn't exactly the dinner we had planned,
but Ashok is a very important client.
It's fine.
You owe me surf and turf after this.
I just need photo evidence
that Malcolm is cheating,
and we'll be on our way.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪
Not exactly a romantic
location for a tryst.
It is remote.
Diversion from his routine.
He's been secretive.
His body language doesn't read affair.
He's anxious.
Maybe corporate espionage?
♪
Maybe not.
♪
Maybe we should split up.
But do not engage.
We don't know what we're heading into.
Just call me if you see anything.
♪
Ooh.
Are you here for the plant?
Yes.
Yes, I am.
Go on in.
♪
Are you ready?
You're here to audition
for the plant, right?
♪
[WHISPERING] The plant.
[NORMALLY] Yes.
I'm here to audition.
Hey, man, don't be nervous. [CHUCKLES]
I'm Edgar.
I'll be reading with you.
Edgar.
- Alec. Hi.
- It's a really fun role.
And we all want you to be great.
So no pressure, yeah.
Oh, man.
[MACHETE CLATTERS]
Guess I didn't let
that glue dry long enough.
You built that yourself?
Yeah.
We all pitch in wherever we can.
Kind of
the community theater spirit.
We talking character here?
I'm Ursula, the director.
You know "Little Shop
of Horrors," right?
Uh
Poor, meek orphan boy wants girl.
Plant from outer space
helps boy get girl.
Then the bloodthirsty plant
tries to eat everyone he knows.
But I wanna keep it grounded,
you know?
[CHUCKLES]
All right, let's go.
Can you hold that open?
[GRUNTS] Thank you. Yep.
Sorry. I'm here.
Ah, sitter canceled.
Can you help me pull this on?
I think my bicep got too big.
Just
Who's been messing with the AC?
Ursula wants it cold for comedy.
Edgar Jordan?
That's not his name.
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
Huh.
The infamous Des.
♪
Five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four.
And five, six
Hi there. [CHUCKLES]
I couldn't help but notice
Desmond Thorn is
in this production.
- Are you a fan?
- Oh, yes.
I saw his "Titus Andronicus"
in Hoboken ten years ago.
Unforgettable.
I don't suppose
you could introduce me?
We have not seen that man
in three days.
He just up and left
without a word.
Yeah, maybe this
janky theater couldn't pay him.
[LAUGHTER]
Are you all being paid?
No, he's the only one.
They fly him out here every year
so he can feel like a star
at the Robert Hawkins
Community Theater.
But if he's gone,
what happens to the show?
We're holding emergency
auditions right now.
Hopefully one of these clowns is
decent enough to replace him.
How am I supposed to keep on
feeding you, kill people?
I'll make it worth your while.
What?
You think
this is all coincidence, baby?
The sudden success around here,
your adoption papers
[PHONE BUZZING]
I'm so sorry.
I I have to take this.
[SIGHS] Let's take five.
Remind me which one of us
is a professional spy again?
It looks like
Malcolm's just starring
in a community theater musical.
Why keep a secret so mundane
from someone you love?
Secret theater, secret identity.
He's using the name Edgar Jordan.
There's more to this.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Keep her occupied.
- Ursula.
- Yeah?
Would you read the scene with me?
♪
[KEYPAD BEEPING, LOCK CLICKS]
♪
Don't freak out, OK?
No, no, that is not what happened.
We had a deal.
Don't call anyone.
Don't do anything.
I'm I am taking care of it.
I don't want anyone else
getting involved.
Just
♪
Just give me a couple more days.
♪
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN, CLICKS SHUT]
[RATS SQUEAKING]
♪
I think I found Des.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Rose, this is Detective Serrano.
He's a friend of a friend.
When Detective Hall says
a case needs our attention,
we jump at it.
Told me about the work you did
on the Vincent Lee case.
Says you're great at what you do.
So you found the body?
He's an actor here.
Last time anyone saw him
was at dress rehearsal
for Act 1 on Monday night.
Well, lucky you were here.
My officers say
the construction crew bailed a week ago.
A couple of months ago, a burst pipe,
but they ran out of money
before the repairs were complete.
Plus the cold weather.
It could have been days
before anyone discovered him.
And you don't think
this was an accident?
No.
I found his glasses over here.
Des was wearing them in his headshot.
And this room here was
covered in construction dust,
except the area around the shaft.
Like someone moved the body?
Maybe he was killed here
and dragged into the hole.
Well, the autopsy will
give us some answers.
If he was killed, the culprit would be
one of those theater people.
How do you know that?
Well, according to several of them,
the access code to that door
was recently changed.
They're the only ones that have it.
We're gonna treat this as a homicide.
We could help with that.
We're here on a separate investigation,
and we're already undercover.
I just auditioned an hour ago.
People are more inclined
to be honest with their peers
as opposed to an authority figure.
They all think it was an accident.
We can keep it that way,
until you officially know otherwise.
I don't know.
Like Detective Hall said,
we're very good at what we do.
Fine.
You go ahead while I work on forensics.
Just keep me posted. Keep it safe.
I assure you, Detective,
I'm well-trained
to handle any dangerous threats
we might face,
even actors.
If someone in the company did kill Des,
you think it was Malcolm?
There's certainly something wrong.
That call he took was suspicious.
Ashok heard him talking to Des.
And he goes by Edgar.
Joining the company is
the only way of finding out.
But Des is dead.
Do you think
they'll still put on the show?
Community theater is voluntary.
These people are here
because they want to be.
Because they love
the art they're creating.
The IKEA effect.
We place more value on
the things we build ourselves.
What are you gonna tell Ashok?
[CHUCKLES] Nothing.
Yet.
I'm starting to wish this case
was just a little adultery.
Hi, everyone. Hi.
As you know, I don't just
play Audrey in the show.
My grandfather founded
the Robert Hawkins
Community Theater 50 years ago.
It's his legacy and mine.
So it breaks my heart
to have to do this.
But after Des' accident,
we have to cancel the show.
It's the right thing to do.
[PEOPLE MURMURING]
I hear you, Maya.
I just I just wish
it didn't have to be.
- Am I the only one?
- No.
- No.
- No, I agree with you.
Agreed, yeah.
I know I'm new here,
but even in the last few hours,
I've been blown away
by the sense of community.
You all are obviously great
at what you do,
and you've spent so much time
building this thing together.
And everybody's so passionate and
and creative.
It really would be a shame
to lose this now.
[SOFT MUSIC]
We're so close to opening.
If we keep going,
we could do it for Des, in his honor.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
That would be a great tribute.
All right, what do we think?
The show must go on?
- Right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- OK.
All right.
I guess I'll see you all
at rehearsal tomorrow.
[APPLAUSE]
OK. It's gonna be OK.
That was quite a speech.
I meant every word.
That voice, so commanding and rich.
Perfect for Audrey II.
Tell me you sing.
Absolutely he does.
His a cappella group won
the collegiate championship.
Who are you?
I'm his acting coach.
I went to RADA.
I'm on sabbatical here.
Well, we're a little short
of hands backstage.
How about you be on the run crew?
Of course. Yes.
You got the part.
We have 48 hours to get you
ready for opening night.
Don't get cold feet, 'cause
none of the other auditions
were even close.
But you haven't heard
all the other auditions yet.
I don't mean to derail anything, Ursula,
but I was really hoping
to read for Audrey II.
Oh, Sameer, you sweet soul.
You are a sound and lighting wizard.
This play only succeeds because
you are running the board.
You'd be wasted on Audrey II.
Now, I have to talk costumes
with Cassius.
We good?
All right.
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
♪
I'm supposed to play Audrey II?
The plant?
Kylie made me watch that movie.
It's a huge role. I can't do that.
Don't worry. I will help you.
I love "Little Shop."
I played Audrey in drama college.
In fact, I'm a tiny bit jealous
you get to do this.
You wanna take a crack at it?
How's your low range?
I'm serious.
We only need to embed long enough
to figure out what happened to Des
and what Malcolm had to do with it.
We'll solve this case
before opening night.
You've got this. You'll be fine.
- There he is, Mr. Audrey II.
- OK!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪
This above all:
to thine own self be true.
And thou canst not then
be false to any man.
Sorry for interrupting. I'm Rose.
I'm a new member of the run crew.
Just getting a lay of the land.
Edgar.
I was just, uh,
doing Des' pre-show ritual.
I'm so sorry about what happened.
Did you know him well?
Not really.
But he was always kind to me.
Happy to share his wisdom and whiskey.
[CHUCKLES]
I feel so guilty about it all.
What do you mean?
I was mad at him for running off.
Same as everyone else.
When the truth is,
he was just lying there,
and none of us knew.
♪
How awful.
You'll do all your lines and songs
from this offstage vocal booth.
Um, we'll get the puppeteers here
to talk to you about coordination.
Sounds good.
[SCOFFS] This mic is in the wrong place.
It is supposed to be up here,
by your mouth.
I mean oh, whatever.
It seems obvious.
I'll have to talk to Sameer about this.
Is that Des'?
Yes.
I suppose I have to call his family
and return his belongings.
Just, um, leave it aside for now.
♪
Paris Haskell,
some suspicious diamonds
turned up last night.
There were GIA etchings inside.
We traced them back to a robbery
committed by your crew
six years ago in Chicago.
What can you tell us about that day?
I don't have to tell you anything.
You got me a field trip
from federal prison.
I'm gonna make that last
as long as possible.
You organized a robbery.
Two innocent people died.
And your whole crew got rounded up,
except somebody got away
with these diamonds.
Who was it?
Desmond Thorn?
♪
Looks like you get
five hours a week on the yard.
And you are 6 years
into a 20-year sentence.
Time must go slow.
What if we could get you
double the time on the yard?
Desmond Thorn.
I don't know who that is.
So you don't want the deal?
No, no, no. No, I mean it.
Guy who jacked the diamonds,
name is Fabian Banks.
And he's a rat.
Betrayed all of us.
Wasn't even part of our crew.
Just played lookout
every once in a while.
You wouldn't happen to know
where he is, would you?
Deal is, you give us information,
not the other way around.
[SIGHS]
[PHONE BUZZING]
Hello?
Ms. Dinshaw?
I'm Aly,
from Dr. Laurence's office.
I just wanted to verify
your contact information
for Dr. Mercer's
upcoming procedure.
Sorry. Upcoming procedure?
Yes, his laser therapy
appointment next week.
Of course, yes.
- This is the right number.
- Perfect.
I send over a PDF
with aftercare instructions.
If you have any questions,
let me know.
Absolutely. Thank you so much.
Bye.
Sorry.
- Hey, Quinn.
- Hey.
Marisa asked me to show you this.
Paris says he has no idea who Des is.
Says the guy who has
the diamonds is Fabian Banks.
- Do you recognize him?
- Yes.
Except I know him as Edgar Jordan
and Malcolm Ward.
How many roles is he playing?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[TENSE MUSIC]
[CHUCKLES] How do you know where I live?
Fabian Banks?
Wha what's going on?
They're here because I hired them.
♪
You had me looked into?
Followed?
Well, clearly, I had reason to.
I'm engaged to someone
with three identities.
Fabian, Edgar, Malcolm.
There's a reason I haven't
told you certain things.
The police don't think that
Des just fell into that hole.
You're at the center
of a murder investigation.
What?
Des was murdered?
No.
I I didn't kill anybody.
We know you weren't just scene partners.
So if you want us to believe you,
you need to explain.
Start at the beginning.
OK.
Ten years ago,
I was a struggling
theater actor in Chicago.
I was dating another actor.
Eddie.
But his day job was
a little different.
He was in Paris Haskell's crew.
Sometimes they asked me to keep watch.
I could barely afford headshots.
They said no one would get hurt.
But something happened.
Robbery went wrong.
People died.
Eddie and I, we ran.
But the crew caught up with us.
And they killed him.
So you turned them in.
You're in witness protection.
That's why Marisa couldn't find you.
The database is sealed.
I had to stop them,
even if it meant
leaving my whole life behind.
And you ended up here as Malcolm Ward.
If you were in WITSEC,
why join a theater production?
You literally put yourself
in the spotlight.
After six years,
I thought using a fake name
at some Podunk theater
in the middle of nowhere
would be safe.
Social identity theory.
You sought a community
that gave you comfort.
My God, I have no idea who you are.
No, that's not true.
The names don't matter.
You you know me, and I know you.
I can't even think right now, OK?
I I need some space.
- Ashok
- Please just go.
Excuse me.
Malcolm, wait.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[DOOR SLAMS]
♪
I don't know if this helps,
but studies show that if you
play a role for some time,
you start to believe that's who you are.
So you're saying he really is Malcolm?
More importantly,
I don't think he was pretending
to love you for three years.
♪
Hey, hey, hey.
Slow down.
Take a deep breath.
I just ruined
the best thing
that has ever happened to me.
It was stupid thinking that I could be
three different people.
Mm. Four, if you count Seymour.
[SCOFFS]
I know what it's like
having to hide parts of yourself.
It takes a toll.
That's why I needed the Hawkins.
I have to ask,
did Des know about your past?
Was he blackmailing you?
We found the diamonds.
I didn't realize Eddie had kept them.
I found them when I was packing up,
after it was all over.
I know I should have turned them in,
but I was scared it would look
like I had lied to the cops.
So you held on to them.
Then when I heard
the theater was failing,
I saw a chance to do some good.
So I made a plan with Des.
You didn't want to be
linked back to the diamonds,
so he'd exchange them for money instead.
He was broke.
I said I'd give him a cut.
He was happy to look like the hero.
But he never showed up
to sell the diamonds.
I heard you on the phone yesterday.
That was the fence?
When Des didn't show, I assumed he ran.
I swear, I didn't know he was dead.
I believe you.
Did anyone else know about your plan?
I don't think so.
I told Des to keep his mouth shut
until he had the money in hand.
So if the diamonds weren't the motive,
who had reason to kill Des?
Don't get cute with me!
I made you, and I can break you.
I can't believe you're off-book.
My predecessor wasn't?
You know, I was reading up about Des.
You guys were supposed to do
a movie together.
What happened?
He pulled out three days before filming
because he got something better.
Whole thing fell apart,
and my career went with it.
♪
Hey.
[SNIFFS]
It's whiskey.
A parting gift from Des.
As if I haven't picked up
enough of his bar tabs already.
I heard he had some money issues.
Well, not as many after
I gave him a couple grand.
That is money I will never get back.
[SCOFFS]
[CHUCKLES]
I may just be a stage manager by night,
but by day, I'm a plastic surgeon.
- [VOCALIZING]
- I'm an award-winning
high school choir director.
But the way Des told it, I'm a hack
who can't keep time to save my life.
- [VOCALIZING]
- You know what?
You're a little flat
from the third to the fifth.
Just give me a wide smile.
Brighten it up. Yeah, good.
[VOCALIZING]
My wife came to visit last week.
Des hit on her.
He knew she was married, but to Des,
a wedding ring is just a suggestion.
Oh, my God.
No, no, it's fine. It's fine.
I'm just drowning in paperwork,
trying to keep this place afloat.
And he called me a nepo baby influencer.
Whatever.
I've got 250,000 TikTok followers,
so more people know my name than his.
Autopsy came back.
You were right.
ME might not have even noticed it
had they not been looking for it.
But turns out,
trauma to the victim's head
couldn't have been caused by that fall.
Anybody stand out as having motive?
All of them.
Des wasn't exactly
the most beloved member
of that theater company.
And they all had access
to that prop room.
So literally anyone in the
company could be the murderer?
[SIGHS] Yep.
Must be blood.
Twoey, that's disgusting.
Must be fresh.
I don't wanna hear this.
Good. So, Seymour, just give me,
"I don't wanna to hear this," in rhythm.
And then, Audrey II, if you
just watch me from the window,
I'll give you a, "Three, four,"
"Feed me,"
and we'll be together on the downbeat.
- Makes sense?
- Let's try it from the booth.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪
Feed me.
OK.
[METAL CREAKING]
Oh, my God! What the hell happened?
Are you OK?
Wow, it's lucky it didn't hit you.
Yeah.
Real lucky.
[TENSE MUSIC]
- Hey, Sameer?
- I know. I know.
Cue 37 was slower
than you wanted it to be.
The speaker in my booth just fell.
Oh, God! Are you OK?
[CHUCKLES] I'm good.
But it's odd, right?
Two accidents.
First Des. Now me almost.
Like whoever plays the plant is cursed.
And you're the only one
who goes up on the grid.
Wait, are you saying
I made the speaker fall?
Why would I do that?
You wanted to play Audrey II.
Seriously?
Yeah, I wanted to play the plant
but not enough to kill over it.
Why were you in the booth before?
I'm the sound guy.
Ursula's paranoid something's
wrong with the plant mic.
There was a bad cue on Monday,
so now I triple-check it.
What cue?
Des was muffled
in the last scene of Act 1.
And that was the last time
anyone heard from Des, correct?
I guess, yeah.
If that was the last time
you heard from him,
when was the last time you
actually saw Des that night?
After he sang "Feed Me."
Third scene before intermission.
He came up to give me
a stupid audio note
and then left to get a drink.
A drink?
He hides his whiskey in the prop room.
Anyone else know that?
Everyone.
♪
Everyone thinks Des died
Monday after rehearsal,
but no one actually saw him
after "Feed Me."
They just heard his lines.
What if that wasn't Des?
What if it was whoever killed him?
That would mean
our whole timeline is wrong.
Des wasn't killed after the rehearsal.
- He was killed during it.
- Mm-hmm.
He sang "Feed Me," then took a break
because he wasn't in "Do It Now."
Mm, you really do know "Little Shop."
[CHUCKLES]
This is the book, with all
the blocking and scene changes.
"Do It Now" is one of
production's busiest moments.
There's a massive scene change,
lighting, costume changes.
And from the notes, it looks
like everyone had work to do.
Yet someone managed to kill Des
and use the musical as their alibi.
There's only one way
to find out for sure.
- What?
- Perform the play and find out
who had time to kill, so to speak.
But we just did our last rehearsal.
Which means our only chance
to identify the murderer
is for you to do the play
on opening night.
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
♪
Does this look inanimate to you, punk?
It's feeling a little stiff.
Does this look inanimate to you, punk?
Um, let's drop the script
and shake it all out.
Come on. Shake it all out.
[PUFFING]
[VOCALIZING] Shake it out.
What are you doing?
Oh, come on.
We need to help Alec loosen up
to find Audrey II.
Remember when you said
we just had to get through rehearsal?
And remember when you auditioned
and earned the role on your own?
That means you can do this.
- [GROANS]
- [LAUGHS] Come on.
You stand in front of students,
CEOs, dignitaries
and deliver your wisdom
without breaking a sweat.
But that's different. I'm comfortable
talking about psychology,
my field that I've studied for years,
as myself, Alec Mercer, not an actor.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, this is a different role,
but you can still bring
that Alec Mercer confidence to it
with the right kind of preparation.
- Mm.
- Now, come on.
Shake it up. Shake.
Come on. You can do it. Shake.
Hoo! Let it all out. Loosey-goosey.
[VOCALIZING]
[LAUGHING] I can't. I can't.
I can't do that. I can't.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Ah.
Oh, I tried.
- [LAUGHS]
- Mm.
I got a call about
your laser therapy procedure.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't know you decided
to go through with it.
The specialist called out of the blue
and said there was information
about a new way
to reduce my scarring without opioids.
- That's great.
- It is.
So why didn't you just tell me?
When Marisa and I first met,
I was a full-time patient.
And the better part
of our relationship was
her being the caregiver.
She didn't complain, but
but I don't want that to be us.
I don't want you to worry
about taking care of me.
[SOFT MUSIC]
I am your partner.
That means whatever we need to do
for each other in any moment, we will,
without hesitation.
I'm happy to be your emergency contact.
- Mm?
- Mm.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Mm. Mm-mm.
What I'm not happy about, though,
is with the phrasing
of that last line you did.
OK.
It's just one breath and one thought.
OK?
Uh, does this look
inanimate to you, punk?
OK, so not to give you a line read,
but something like
does this look inanimate to you, punk?
[CLICKS TONGUE]
- [CLICKS TONGUE]
- Give it some oomph!
Mm!
Don't worry.
You'll be ready for opening night.
Come on, Seymour, don't be a putz ♪
Trust me and your life
will surely rival King Tut's ♪
Show a little initiative,
work up the guts ♪
And you'll get it ♪
I don't know ♪
I don't know ♪
[WHISPERING] Simon is gonna
be so mad he missed this.
Come on, Seymour, don't trust the plant.
Reservations ♪
Should I go ♪
And perform ♪
Mutilations ♪
How's about a room at the Ritz ♪
Wrapped in velvet, covered in glitz ♪
A little nookie's gonna
clean up your zits ♪
[WHISPERING] I can't believe
that's the professor.
I can't believe this is my brother.
If you wanna be profound ♪
Then you really gotta justify ♪
Take a breath and look around ♪
A lot of folks deserve to die ♪
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
That's not a very nice thing to say.
- But it's true, isn't it?
- No.
I don't know anyone who deserves to get
chopped up and fed to a hungry plant.
Mm
sure, you do.
Cassius, I'm so sorry.
I forgot to preset the bucket of guts
for the end of the first act.
- Where are they?
- All the way in the prop room.
But I have to help with the
scene change from stage left.
Can you grab them?
No, I have to set up
the dentist's office.
What about Mariana? Duke?
Everybody's busy.
But Maya can do it.
Maya? She's in the next scene.
She's a dentist patient,
then a skid row bum.
That's two full costume changes
before the end of the act.
She underdressed.
She wore all three costumes layered
so she can just remove one to save time.
At least that's what she did for dress.
So Maya was available
during the last dentist scene on Monday?
Yes.
She'll help.
How do you like that?
Stupid dame forgets to bring a sweater.
Christ!
If your stupid head weren't screwed on!
Oh!
[TENSE MUSIC]
Good night, Seymour.
Good night, Mr. Mushnik!
Little red dots.
All over the floor.
[YELPS, LAUGHS]
You scared me. What are you doing?
Gotta get ready for the next song.
You always know where
everyone's supposed to be.
Running a theater, growing up here,
you must know every department.
Lighting, sound, prop storage.
Well, I'm smarter
than people give me credit for.
Right.
Like how you underdressed
your costumes on Monday
for the dentist scene.
Yeah. It's faster that way.
With the added benefit
of allowing you time
to kill Des and make it back onstage
by the end of the act.
What?
You're letting the play get to you.
I found the phone
you use to make your TikToks.
It also has recordings
of you and Des rehearsing.
Must be blood. Must be fresh.
That's what everyone heard Monday night.
It wasn't Des. It was you playing that.
Because you'd already killed him.
[CHUCKLES]
Why would I kill the star of my show?
This theater is my family's legacy.
It's not a legacy.
It's an albatross around your neck.
We did some checking.
You got an offer for the land
to the tune of almost a million dollars.
One problem, there was a clause
in your grandfather's will.
You can only sell this theater
if it isn't profitable.
Everyone knew
that this place was struggling.
You couldn't even pay
your construction crew.
But then Des came.
I have the money.
You can save your theater.
I'm announcing it to everyone
after rehearsal tonight.
But if Des gave you
the money, you couldn't sell.
Instead of a million dollars,
you'd be stuck with this
fledgling theater forever.
So then what?
You made a plan to kill Des.
You snuck away and caught him
in the props room.
No! No, I
it's not true.
♪
I never planned to kill him.
I went down there to talk him out of it.
But God forbid you try
to talk Des out of anything.
He wouldn't hear it.
We fought, and then
I have it all figured out, OK?
I'm telling them tonight.
No, no, no, no, you can't.
[GRUNTS]
[BREATHING SHAKILY]
It was an accident.
He hit his head.
Except you dragged the body into a shaft
very much on purpose.
And what about the speaker
that fell in my booth?
Was that an accident too?
I was just trying to make it stop.
We should have shut down
the show after Des died.
I was trying to make people
think that we were cursed.
I'm sorry.
[CLAPPING]
Semi-convincing performance.
The Hawkins Theater special.
No, no, no, no, no. Wait.
You're under arrest.
What the hell's going on here?
She's supposed to be onstage
in three minutes.
Not my problem.
Let's go.
Tell my followers.
Tell them I'm coming back.
You're gonna hear from my lawyer.
You have a cue coming up.
Our Audrey was just arrested.
But you were the one who inspired us
to keep going with all of this
in the first place.
Don't bail on me now.
Feed me.
I can't take much more of this.
Look, I'll run down to the corner
and get you a pound of rare roast beef.
Maybe that'll hold you
till "Life" magazine gets here.
Uh-uh!
No way!
Look, it's my last offer.
Yes or no?
It's better than nothing!
Done!
Great!
And don't think you're getting dessert.
Hmph!
[PENSIVE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
[PEOPLE MURMURING]
[WHISPERING] That's supposed
to be Audrey's entrance.
[MUSIC STOPS]
[WHISPERING] Improvise.
[MUSIC RESUMES]
I couldn't sleep ♪
I took a Sominex ♪
But voices in my head keep saying ♪
"Go to Seymour ♪
Talk to Seymour" ♪
I drank some tea ♪
But, gee, the feeling wasn't gone ♪
Seymour, sweetheart ♪
Tell me, darling ♪
What's been going on ♪
Little lady, hello ♪
Who who said that?
You're looking cute as can be ♪
Is somebody there?
You're lookin' mighty sweet ♪
Seymour?
- Seymour.
- No, it ain't Seymour.
It's me.
Oh, my God.
Your friendly Audrey II ♪
This plant is talkin' to you ♪
I don't believe it.
Believe it, baby. It talks.
Am I dreaming this?
No, and you ain't in Kansas neither.
Something's very wrong here.
Relax and go with it, doll.
Do me a favor, will you, sweetheart?
A favor?
I need me some water in the worst way.
Look at my branch.
I'm a goner, honey.
Come on and give me a drink ♪
I don't know if I should.
Hey, little lady, be nice ♪
You just want some water, right?
Sure do, I'll drink it straight ♪
Oh, your branches are dry. Poor thing.
Don't need no glass and no ice ♪
I'll get the can.
Don't need no twist of lime ♪
Here you go.
And now it's suppertime ♪
Oh! Oh!
[MUNCHING]
[CACKLES]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Who do I sign it to?
- Alejandro.
- Alejandro.
You were both incredible.
Us? What about you?
No.
That was amazing.
Ashok, I
I've never seen you do
anything like that before.
I'm so sorry
you had to hide it for so long.
- I never meant to hurt you.
- I understand that now.
[SOFT MUSIC]
Look, whatever was in your past,
we'll deal with it.
- What's important is our future.
- [CHUCKLES]
Together.
♪
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
There he is!
Audrey II! [LAUGHS]
- What are you doing here?
- Oh.
I definitely didn't tell you.
Mm!
You think you can keep a secret from me?
Uh-uh. And I bet you're glad
I made you watch that movie now.
OK, well hey.
Hi. This is amazing.
[LAUGHS] What did you think?
One of the better productions I've seen.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, it was so good.
And Rose oh, my God.
- Yeah, that was incredible.
- Where'd she go?
I have so many questions.
I'll be right back.
You're missing out.
I got more compliments about you.
What's wrong?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
You got a case, didn't you?
Something like that.
Well, it's OK.
You have to travel.
We'll figure it out.
We always do.
It's not like that.
It, um
it involves someone from my past.
Someone I never told you about.
OK.
Who?
My husband.
♪