The Suite Life of Zack & Cody s02e17 Episode Script

Zack? Zack? Where are you? Up here.
I'm stuck.
I'll help you.
Swing your legs down.
[Grunting.]
Stand still.
Quit kicking.
I'm only kicking 'cause you're not standing still.
Aah! Ok.
Let's try this again.
Now, hold your legs still and don't move them.
Ok.
Ok.
I got your legs.
Now, let go.
Aah! You know, you really should tie these.
Hey, kids.
You like to play here in the park? Yeah.
We love it.
Too bad.
We're paving it over.
You can't do that.
Yeah.
This is where we play.
Come back in six months.
You can play in the parking lot.
Bring a push broom.
You can make a few bucks.
[Chuckles.]
Here I am in your life here you are in mine yes, we have a suite life most of the time you and me, we got the world to see so come on down just me and you know what to do so come on down it's you and me and me and you we got the whole place to ourselves you and me, we got it all for free so come on down this is the suite life we've got a suite life Ow! Ow! Ow! Mom, we've got the worst news ever! Cheap Charlie's is going out of business? They're demolishing the park across the street.
No.
They can't do that.
We should fight this.
Whoa, mom.
What are you going to do? Hem them to death? Well, sewing is dangerous.
I meant we should fight city hall.
You can't fight city hall.
Yes, you can.
I once dated this guy Both: Ohh.
What? You fought city hall and won And then your boyfriend dumped you.
Did I tell you this story before? No.
That's just how all your boyfriend stories end.
My point is if you believe in something strongly enough, you should fight for it no matter what the odds.
I see your point, mom.
I'm going to write a strongly worded letter with exclamation points and a liberal use of underlining.
I'm proud of you, son.
My little warrior.
Ha! Your little warrior sleeps with a bunny rabbit night light.
Don't you want to help save the park, too? You know, mom.
I've learned a lot in my 13 years.
And one of the things I've learned is that when a little guy tries to fight a big guy, the little guy ends up head first in the garbage.
Oh, honey.
Did that happen to you? No.
Cody.
I was watching from behind the lockers.
Oh, maddie.
Guess what? I'm going to take a test and become a citizen of the United States.
All 13 of them.
There are 50 states.
I better get a new pamphlet.
Oh! Achoo! Here.
I'll quiz you.
Who was the first president of the United States? I know! I know! He chopped down a cherry tree.
Had icky wooden teeth.
Don't tell me.
It's George Washington.
No.
That's not it.
Yes, it is.
The guy in the one dollar bill.
They make a one dollar bill? I bet you can't name a single founding father.
Can so.
My father founded tipton industries.
No, no, no.
I meant because-- I'm bored.
Bye.
Hey, guys.
Check out this cool stuff I found in the basement.
Ohh! Wow! Herman, you're right.
This stuff is amazing.
Oh, no, no, no.
I was talking about this ball of yarn.
Huh? No wonder cats love this stuff.
What you got there? Check out the guys in this old painting.
And I thought Cody dressed like a dork.
Oh, planning the Boston tea party.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I studied that.
It is when the colonists got mad at the British about Texas.
You mean taxes? That's what I said.
"Texas.
" Look.
This building in the background says the tipton inn.
Oh, that must be the inn that was founded by London's ancestor.
Wow! A lot has changed.
This painting is dated 1775.
Ooh! It could be very valuable.
Finders keepers.
Losers weepers.
This painting is the property of the tipton hotel and is staying right here in this lobby.
Ooh! And apparently, so am I.
Meow.
Meow.
What are you doing? Counting my armpit hair.
One.
Done.
You're bored without the park, huh? How about I make you a cup of your favorite hot chocolate? Yeah.
Make it a double with extra marshmallows.
Here's my scathing letter to the mayor about destroying our park.
Sir.
Notice it doesn't say "dear sir.
" Ooh.
That may make him cry.
Zack, at least your brother's fighting for something he believes in.
By the way, how many pages is that letter? Ok.
Here it goes.
Oh, I'm late for rehearsal.
I'm sure it's great though, honey.
Love you.
Bye.
No problem.
I'll just read it to Zack.
I picked a bad day to be Zack.
"I am writing to register my outrage," underlined, "at the city's complete disregard," italicized, "for the quality of life of the children of Boston.
" Bold faced.
More like bored faced.
"Liberty park is an important part of our community.
" Three exclaims.
Now, brace yourself for this next paragraph.
It's where I question his character.
"In the mid-1700s, the tipton was established and" Reading on the job again, mistress Madeline? But there's this great article in colonial teen.
It says some modern girls aren't wearing corsets.
Scandalous.
Next, they'll be telling you it's acceptable to show your ankles.
Ah! Now, get back to work.
We need to raise the price on our sweet meats.
Oh, but I just raised them 10 minutes ago.
Well, the British have increased the taxes on everything again, including sugar and tea.
Maketh way, peasants.
Don't you just love my new hair? I just got it cut.
I hear the short look is in.
Master moseby, I'm telling you-- no one can afford to buy this overpriced tea.
Except me.
please.
Who drinks 10 pounds of tea? Nobody, silly.
I bathe in it.
It's all for me.
Irene, did you make my reservations at the happy badger? I'll call right away, lady tipton.
Hey, Bartholomew! tonight at 7:00! Bartholomew: Booth or table? Booth or table? Booth.
Booth! Master moseby! Uh.
No, you're in the-- no, no, no.
Arwin.
Arwin! Wait! Just--wait-- here we go.
Right here.
Perfect.
There.
Done.
Down a little step.
Oh, no.
Wait till you see my new invention.
I call this little sucker a dirt sucker.
Watch.
Huh? Is this genius or what? It goes in down there, and comes out Looks like it still has a few bugs.
Most of them are in my mouth.
[Rumbling.]
Stop, you hooligans.
What are these infernal contraptions? Arwin invented them.
He calls themTelevision.
Why? Well, because I saw them in a vision and I just had to tell you about it.
We love 'em, arwin.
Yeah.
Although we could do without these helmets.
Well, look on the bright side.
When you finally get where you're going, you can cook something.
Oh, good folk, I come bearing important tidings.
The people are revolting.
You're telling me.
Have you seen how they dress? Well, am I wrong? Oh, we dress the best we can, considering most of our money goes to English Texas.
You mean taxes? That's what I said.
He's right.
My take-home pay is so small, I won't even be able to afford a used horse.
And I'm, like, getting my license, like, this year.
She's a valley forge girl.
Ah.
Boys, you need to get upstairs and study for your American history test tomorrow.
Mother, there is no history.
Yesterday, we got off the boat and today, we bathed in the creek.
Well, we should make history by rebelling against the British.
I've been working on a new flag for our new country.
This will show the British we are not to be trifled with.
Don't tread on me.
Love the saying, but the bunny isn't exactly scary.
It's supposed to be a bear.
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! There will be no talk of revolution in my inn.
Lord tipton and king George are like this, and I don't want to end up like this.
Esteban: Fellow patriots.
Gather around.
Ok.
I hear lord tipton has a boatload of tea coming in tonight from england.
Let's dump it in the harbor to protest high taxes.
The harbor? Isn't that where all those British ships are with the big guns pointing at us? We can't fight the crown.
What if I wrote a strongly-worded letter? Listen, quill boy, paper may beat rock, but cannonball makes huge hole in paper.
Well, you can sit here and write all the letters you want, but if you want to be free, then follow me.
I'm with ye.
Give me liberty Or give me death.
Is there a third choice? Now remember, during our raid on the tea ship, these Indian headdresses will disguise us so the British won't know who we are.
You know what? Look, guys.
I care about liberty as much as the next person, but there is a reason the British rule us.
England.
Us.
England.
Us.
It might not always be that way.
In fact, I envision a country that will one day reach from sea to shining sea.
Yeah.
And someday man will walk on the moon.
Yeah, right.
Actually, I'm working on that, but I am going to need a very long rope.
Just think how wonderful it will be when we're all citizens and can vote.
Can Zack and I vote? No.
You're only kids.
Can maddie and I vote? No.
You're only women.
So who can vote? Those who are qualified to.
Me and arwin.
Don't we have any other choices? Well, voting isn't the only thing we're fighting for.
I'm fighting for free speech.
I'm fighting for free press.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Fighting? I thought this was arts and crafts.
Look, guys.
That all sounds great, but it's not worth it for me to risk my hide for a cup of tea.
Fresh pig's feet! Hog fresh.
They were walking around this morning.
Hey, Zack, can you give me a pack of fat-free feet? Hey, one pack of fat-free feet and a large hot chocolate.
That will be three pounds sterling.
What? That's triple what it was yesterday.
Sorry, king George has raised the tax on chocolate.
[Gasps.]
Oh, no, he didn't.
Still think it's not worth fighting the crown? You're right.
King George has gone too far this time.
Give me chocolate or give me death.
[Cheering.]
Death is kind of harsh, isn't it? Time-outs can be very effective.
[Cheering.]
Man, that was great.
I haven't hurled that much stuff since I ate my mother's day-old possum pot pie.
Waaah! This is a great day.
We've made history.
Oh, great.
More for me to study.
You were there, and you're still probably going to fail.
Aah! Indian attack! All: Where?! Aah! Aah! Moseby, get rid of them.
But first, buy some of their cute beads.
London, we're not Indians.
We're revolutionaries.
All: Yeah! It's me.
Maddie.
Oh, that explains why your moccasins don't match your headdress.
We just dumped all the English tea into the harbor.
All: Harbor! And a box of hot chocolate.
All: Chocolate! Although I saved one packet.
How dare ye! That was my daddy's ship.
Oh, dear.
I could lose my job.
And I could lose my allowance.
Well, to become a citizen of this new country, we will all have to make sacrifices.
That's right, and some things are worth fighting for.
[Bell rings.]
You guys, the town crier is here.
[Bell rings.]
What news have you, town crier? Nothing's going right.
My cow ran dry, my wooden teeth have termites, and my girlfriend left me for the village fool.
Don't look at me.
I didn't even run for fool this year.
But on the bright side, we just won the revolution.
[Cheering.]
Wow, that was fast.
What do you expect? This is a dream.
It is? Yeah.
It better be.
Next time, could you dream I was a viking? All: Whoa! Little Bob peep has lost his sheep.
Zack, wake up.
Zack! Zack! Aah! Oh, man.
I can never wear pastels around you.
How long was I asleep? Long enough for me to run across the street to city hall, read them my letter, and have them laugh in my face.
You were right.
There's no use in fighting city hall.
No.
I was wrong.
You can fight city hall.
Dude, pick a side.
I just had a dream that taught me two things.
No matter how small you are, if you're fighting for something you believe in, you can win.
What's the second thing? Bob looks terrible in petticoats.
Wait a second.
I just thought of a way to save our park.
Could they tear it down if it has historical significance? Probably not.
But your 360 double keg flip over the water fountain doesn't count.
That's not what I'm talking about.
And by the way, it should count.
Now, come on.
Esteban, don't worry.
You're going to do great on the test.
Ok, ok.
Remind me again.
What's the president's cabinet? Oh, that's easy.
That's where Mrs.
president keeps all the cleaning supplies.
Ignore her and you'll do fine.
It's ok.
I have my lucky rabbit's foot, although it wasn't lucky for the rabbit.
[Chuckles.]
Esteban doesn't need any help.
You are going to be just fine.
Mr.
moseby, where's that old painting? Hanging proudly on the wall, where it will stay forever more.
Or not.
D-d-don't take it down, please.
No, you can't stand behind the desk.
Ok.
That's it.
Tell me what's going on.
You see this little tree in the back of the old tipton inn? Mm-hmm.
That grew into the big tree in our park.
That's where they planned the Boston tea party.
That must be why they named it liberty park.
That tree's a historical landmark, so they can't tear it down.
Cody, you're a genius.
How did you figure all that out? Zack figured it out.
No.
Seriously.
I have my moments.
Now, please go down to city hall and get them to stop the bulldozers.
You want an injunction? Oh, no.
I hate needles.
Just go get them to stop it.
Maddie and London, I need you to alert the media.
Well, how do I get their attention? Hello? I walk outside.
And outside would be that way.
When you throw it, it makes a streamer like an asteroid.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, guys, what's all the hub-bub, bubs? Zack figured out a way to save the park.
Both: No.
Seriously.
You know, I wish you people would realize that I'm a thoughtful and intelligent person.
I realize that, honey.
Now, we're going to go lie down in front of the bulldozers.
And I spoke too soon.
Don't mess with me or the tree of liberty! Don't mess with me or the tree of liberty! Oh, no.
Determined protestors and all I have is a two-ton bulldozer.
I'm going to tie myself to this tree so you'll have to go through me.
Hey, that rhymes.
I got a cute poem.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I can't wait to run over you.
Well, you are going to have a long wait.
Heh! Wait! Wait! We have newspaper reporters! Take pictures! Take pictures! Come on, London.
Sit down.
In this dress? I don't think so.
Emotionally I'm with them.
But you know, atore vitalli.
Excuse me, bricks on the ground.
I just talked to my supervisor.
He said if we don't work, we don't get paid.
So, I'm starting up the dozer.
Bring it in! Don't mess with me or the tree of liberty! Don't mess with me or the tree of liberty! Stop! If you get any dirt on this dress, daddy will take away your bully-dozer.
Ok.
Stop the bulldozers! I got the injunction! Did you hear that? He got the injuntiaahhhh! Ok.
There it is.
Go ahead.
Read it and weep.
It's all there in black and white.
All right, guys.
We're done here.
[Cheering.]
Oh, Zack, I am so incredibly proud of you.
As am I.
Who knew you'd be the one to fight city hall and win.
Thanks, guys.
Well, I think my letter softened them up.
Hot dogs! Get your hot dog.
Hot dog! Hey, hey, hey.
Got any pigs feet? I'm not allowed to say what's in them.
Bill.
Bill.
Bill.
Hey, bill, your mail's here.
Mr.
moseby, anything for me? No.
No.
Ooh! This looks official.
Peoples, the results of my citizen test is here.
Oh, aye, aye, aye.
I passed! I passed! I am so happy for you, Esteban.
Oh, gracias.
I am now a citizen of these 50 United States.
No, no, no.
You're lucky you were born here, although your hair does look a little foreign.
I call it a faux-hawk.
And just like your hairdo, well done! Well, this is a dream come true.
I'm now an American, with all the perks and privileges that come with that.
Ooh! Here's your first perk.
You got jury duty.
Ooh, too bad.
Tough break.
Oh, no.
This is wonderful.
I get to serve my country already.
I need two weeks off.