True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e17 Episode Script

True Jackson, VP Was filmed in front Of a live studio audience.
Say, True, Hot enough for you? It's so hot, The thermometer In front of my school exploded.
Then the thermometer-shaped sign For the canned food drive Exploded.
Well, something better Be done soon.
I'm having my picture Taken today and the heat Makes my hair frizzy.
Good afternoon, everyone.
Say, Max hold that thought, Amanda.
Before we begin, I'd like to make it Crystal clear That I'll fire anyone Who uses the phrase, "hot enough for ya?" Now, what were you going to say? Um, catch the big game? We have a lot of work to do, So I'd appreciate it If we could stay focused.
Kopelman! That's incredibly distracting.
Give it to me.
Oh, say, that's nice.
Max, if I may, Why is the office so hot? Maintenance said The building air conditioning Blew out and they have no clue How it happened.
Does anyone have any idea? How did you make An ice skating rink? Poured water all over True's floor And cranked the A.
C.
, Good idea, huh? Pretty good, Unless it blows out the system.
Yeah, right.
It's really gonna blow out the I'm sorry.
I didn't hear that last part Over the sound Of the thermostat exploding.
Quick, let's play Before the ice melts.
Ryan! It's not what it looks like.
It looks like You poured water on my floor And cranked the A.
C.
To make an ice skating rink.
Then it's exactly What it looks like.
No one has any idea What happened to our system? Probably faulty wiring.
You know, my Uncle, Troy Once used a budget electrician.
He saved a bunch of money, But the first time He flushed his toilet, He got electrocuted.
Is he all right? Oh yeah, he's fine.
He just smells like bacon.
Well, they'd better fix The air conditioning soon.
The optimum humidity level For my hair is 42%.
Anything above that, It looks like I have a cat On my head.
Like Connie Cathead.
Who? You know, Valentine Mcdougal's Best friend.
But don't mention her to Lulu.
She hates her.
People, I realize It's hotter than the surface Of the sun in here, But let's try to stay focused.
You're right.
What are we working on? Winter coats.
You said what now? We always design our lines Six months out.
Just try to imagine It's not hot.
Instead, pretend There's a nice, cool breeze On your face.
That's easy to say When you have a nice, Cool breeze on your face.
I'm sorry, kopelman, Did you want this back? True, Amanda, which one of you Would like to run point On the coats? I'd love to, But as I mentioned earlier, I'm having my picture Taken today for a major spread In a major fashion magazine.
Would you like to know Which one? Nah, you seem busy.
True, would you like to take The assignment? Sure.
Ah, splendid.
Meeting adjourned.
True.
One Teenie thing.
I've designed thousands Of winter coats over my career, So whatever you come up with, Make sure it's something I've never seen before, ever.
That's a Teenie thing? Of course not, That's a major thing.
The Teenie thing is I want it done By the end of the day.
from my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown-up job I never really knew I could work this hard just used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new VP I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messin' around and we're makin' new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's goin' down 'cause I'm the new VP the new VP perfect, absolutely perfect.
What do you think? I don't know.
Yeah, I don't like it, Either.
Something's not right.
The color? Can someone please make A decision? I'm boiling in this thing.
You want me to turn on The air conditioner? Oh, that's right, I can't.
Look, I know I owe you For covering for me, But this coat is really hot.
As soon as I finish, You can take it off.
What if it were blue? Hmm.
Starting to get dizzy.
Look, Ryan, If you're not gonna offer Anything constructive, Please just stand there.
Okay.
Okay, let's take a break.
Wow, it's pretty hot.
I bet everyone in the city Is moving at half speed today.
Hey, hey, hey Morning laserbeam.
You're in a good mood.
Just enjoying This beautiful day.
Beautiful day? On the way to work, I watched a truck melt.
That looks good.
Did you get it downstairs At happy Berry? Oh, heavens, no, That place is a cesspool.
This is from my favorite Ice cream store in the world, Giapello's.
I've never even heard Of giapello's.
That's because They went out of business 18 years ago.
Are you saying You've been licking The same scoop for 18 years? Of course not.
I couldn't imagine life Without giapello's.
So when I heard They were going out of business, I bought 100 gallons Of their famous Pistachio cookie ice Cam.
A hundred gallons? Mm-hmm, I've rationed it out So that I can have Two scoops a day For the rest of my life, Which is why I wildie On my 75th birthday.
Have you ever thought About just having One scoop a day, So you can live to be 150? That's absurd.
Thanks for working in here.
It's much more pleasant.
Don't move your arms.
The sleeves aren't attached yet.
Okay, okay, calm down.
No reason to get door! Door! Ahh, that's the stuff.
How much longer? I need to redo The cross-stitch on the hem, So about three hours.
Three hours? Door.
Door! Thanks.
No problem.
Hey, what are you guys doing In here? Just finishing My winter coat design.
I hope Mr.
Madigan likes it.
Are you kidding? Uncle Max is gon love it.
You think? Yeah, he designed Pretty much the exact same coat Last year.
Oh, no.
Now, I have to start over.
Start over? Door! Door! Door.
Did someone say something? I'm never gonna come up With an original design, Let alone finish, If Ryan keeps passing out From the heat.
Why don't you work In the arctic room? It's freezing in there.
The arctic room? Yeah, up on 38, It's in the testing suites.
It's where they test clothes In extreme weather conditions.
Can you get us in? No problem.
As an officer of the mail room, I got keys to every door.
Door.
I can't believe I've never been up here before.
Hey, check it out, The dessert room.
I hope they have parfaits.
I love parfaits.
Dessert has two s's.
That says desert room.
I knew that.
Man, I could go for a parfait.
What's in here? That's the water tank Where they test the swimsuits.
Is that kopelman Lying on a raft? Yeah, he comes up here Every day to chill out.
Why's he wearing A black sweater? Wait a minute, That's not a sweater.
He's not even wearing a shirt.
That is one hairy dude.
That's the inclement Weather chamber.
This control panel Can make it rain, sleet or snow.
Sounds like my Uncle Troy's Living room.
Did I mention He didn't have a roof? And here's the arctic room.
Phew, this is great.
Yeah, it's freezing in here.
Just like Uncle Troy's During in the winter.
Hey, check out These giant ice cubes.
I'll bet if Godzilla Were drinking A glass of lemonade, This is where he'd get his ice.
Really? That's what you're thinking? Uh-huh.
I find I think a lot about Godzilla these days.
Why don't we go to my office And get the materials, So we can work up here.
Good idea.
Ryan, you coming? Ryan, did you lick that pipe? Uh-uh mad style, please hold.
Mad style, please hold.
Mad style, please hold.
Hi, True, hey, Lulu.
Hey, busy, huh? No, it's been dead all day.
Must be the heat.
But you just took A bunch of calls.
I was practicing.
You know, working on my craft.
Where is everybody? Oh, they went home early, 'cause the A.
C.
Is out, But I stayed bause the heat Really doesn't affect me.
Yes, we can tell.
I don't blame everyone For leaving.
If you didn't have Something important to work on, Only a crazy person would stay.
True! Amanda, What's with your hair? The humidity is at 74%.
I look like Connie Cathead.
Please don't mention her.
I'm having my picture Taken in two hours.
You'd better do something About this heat.
Why us? Yeah, it's not like We control the weather.
We're not weathermen.
If my hunch is correct, You kids had something to do With this mess.
Augh, you know, I'm getting a little tired Of you always implying Kids are irresponsible.
Snowball fight! Ryan, what are you doing? Having a snowball fight.
What are all these kids From school doing here? Having a snowball fight.
Well, you have to tell Everyone to leave.
True has to work On her winter coat design In here.
I can't throw these kids out.
Yes, you can.
No, I can't.
I charged them $10 each For the whole day.
Hey guy, 10 bucks.
Ryan, you do realize, The more kids show up, The warmer it's gonna get In here.
I'm way ahead of you.
For every new kid, I lower the thermostat a little.
Isn't that how you blew out The A.
C.
In the ofces? That's different.
This room is powered by A galveston generator.
Uh-oh.
You know who would not have Liked that explosion one bit? Godzilla.
Great.
Could this day get any worse? Would this be a bad time To point out that this is where Mr.
Madigan keeps His favorite ice cream? Yes, now would be a bad time.
I got your text.
What's the emergency? Oh.
What are we gonna do? Mr.
Madigan's been saving This stuff for 18 years.
We could replace it With another brand.
No way.
Uncle Max Has world-class taste buds.
You really think He can tell the difference From one ice cream to another? One time, kopelman replaced The coffee in the break room With the coffee he brought Back from his trip to Maui.
Mr.
Madigan's Gonna be really mad.
Good news is I know What will calm him down.
What's the bad news? It's melted All over the floor.
That's it.
If giapello's Pistachio cookie ice cream Is the only thing That can fix this, Let's make more Giapello's pistachio Cookie ice cream.
How? We track down Mr.
Giapello And ask him to give us The recipe.
But how do we find him? Mr.
Madigan is the only one Of us that even knows who he is.
Are you thinking What I'm thinking? You want to lick The ice cream off the floor, But you're afraid Of being judged harshly By your peers? What? Never mind.
What were you thinking? This looks like a job For Dr.
Espionage And his goofy sidekick.
I'm Dr.
Espionage, right? Let's go.
Hi, Uncle Max.
Hello, boys.
Hot enough for ya? You're fired.
Well, I don't really Work here.
Would you like to? Sure.
Then you're hired.
Welcome aboard.
Thanks, Mr.
Madigan.
What am I supposed to do? Nothing, you're fired.
Now, get out.
What can I do for you, Jimmy? Why don't you Let me ask questions? Okay.
Just taking a little survey For the mail room.
Your answers could really Help us improve Our overall performance.
Oh, very well.
Are you happy With your mail delivery? Yes.
Great.
Are you happy With your mail pickup? Yes.
Super.
Okay, please write down The most recent address For Mr.
Frank giapello On the bottom of this sheet.
Very unusual survey.
Get off my lawn! You don't have a lawn.
That's it, My gardener's fired.
Mr.
Giapello, My name's True Jackson.
I'm here on behalf of my boss, Max madigan.
Little maxie madigan? You remember him? Sure, he always wore Short striped pants and a cap With a propeller on it.
I don't think he's talking About the same person.
Loved pistachio Cookie ice cream.
That's him.
I never forget a customer And their favorite ice cream.
Tommy Caldwell: Vanilla.
Brian banks: Vanilla.
Jess Brown: Vanilla.
It sorta seems like You're just saying random names And then the word vanilla.
Mr.
Giapello, Would you mind giving us The recipe to your pistachio Cookie ice cream? I can't do that.
If I give it to you, I have to give it to everybody That comes around asking for it.
How many times Has that happened? More than you'd think.
A hundred? Never.
That's less than we thought.
Please, Mr.
Giapello, Do it for little maxie.
Well, what's in it for me? What do you want? I want my broom back.
We don't have your broom.
Two years ago, I lent my broom to Mrs.
Cole On the fifth floor And she never returned it.
And you want us to get it? Uh-huh.
No way.
Please, Mr.
Giapello Wants it back.
It's been two years.
I didn't borrow the broom, It was a gift.
What a crummy gift.
If someone gave me a broom, I'd be all, "gee, thanks.
" what if we got you A better gift? Like what? Whatever you want.
Well, I want Mr.
Donovan's hat.
Who's Mr.
Donovan? The super.
You bring me his hat And I'll give you this broom.
This is one crazy building.
We're taking a long time.
What happens If Mr.
Madigan wants A second scoop of ice cream? Don't worry, Jimmy's gonna stall him Until we get back.
How? Uncle Max, Can I talk to you real fast? Can it wait? I'm on my way to the 38th floor For my afternoon scoop Of ice cream.
It can't wait.
It's about a girl.
Okay.
Amanda, what are you doing? Just trying to bring down The relative humidity Of my head.
Oh, stop it.
I'm sure you look beautiful.
Aah! That bad? No, no, no.
I thought I saw a spider.
I have to get my hair back To normal Before the photographer arrives.
When's he coming, Next month? Aah! I think I saw That spider again.
I saw it this time too.
So tell me What the problem is, Jimmy.
Problem? The reason Why we came in here.
Yes.
It's about this girl, Gwendolyn.
I met her last summer On a backpacking trip.
She had a pink ribbon In her hair.
I often think about That pink ribbon Gwendolyn wore When I met her last summer While backpacking.
What's the problem? I'm getting to it.
Okay.
When? Soon.
Anyway, when I met her, I had the sensation I had met her before.
I'm not sure if it Was a year before or two years Or three years, Definitely not four, Maybe five or six.
Did I say three? Oh, boy, I'd love To help you kids, But I can't give you my hat.
Doesn't sound like You'd love to help.
This is my lucky hat.
It's the inspiration For my music.
Yeah.
In fact, the first single Off my album is all about The hat.
What's it called? All about the hat.
You have an album? Not really.
But you have a band.
Not really.
It doesn't sound Like your hat is lucky at all.
What if we bought you A new hat? It might change Your luck around.
Yeah, I don't know.
I really like the way This hat's broken in.
Nah, it's hard to get a fit Like that with a new hat.
As a matter of fact, It's the inspiration For my second single, "rain, sleet and hail.
" rain, sleet, and hail fillin' up a pail full of rain, sleet and hail can we just have the hat? Trust me, We can break you In a new hat and you'll love it Even more.
Well, we'll see about that.
Hey, that's not a bad name For a song.
we'll see about that gonna get a new hat shall we? Oh, yeah.
Shall we what? Why do I have to be in here? It doesn't work If the hat's not on Someone's head.
Why doesn't Lulu do it? What did he say? He said, "we should probably Get started.
" the dial goes up to 80.
What do you wanna start it on? I'd go with 80.
How's it going in there?! It's coming down pretty hard! Okay, here comes the hail! Aah! Turn it off! Turn it off! What did he say? I think he said, "turn it up.
" okay, I think that's enough.
We should dry him off.
Okay.
Hi, kopelman.
Turn it off! Turn it off! Gwendolyn's father swore He would find his keys If it took him a hundred years.
Meanwhile, on the other side Of the world, A little girl finds a violin.
Jimmy, I don't mean To be rude, But this story seems to be full Of detail and prose, But we've yet to arrive At any sort of point.
I'm getting to it.
I have to go.
Wait, there was a murder.
A murder? Yes, and a century's Old curse.
Wooo.
Does this come Into play later? Maybe.
Go on.
Whoo.
Oh yeah, this is it.
This is the one.
Glad you like it.
Can we have That ice cream recipe now? Whatever happens, Don't let it get Into the wrong hands.
Like who? That guy.
Wait, I'm not done Telling you about my problem.
Jimmy, I've been listening To you for two hours.
The only problem you have Is the inability To come to a point.
I was about to.
Well, it'll have to wait Until after I've had My ice cream.
Uncle Max, don't go in there.
Whah.
Sweet Mary kittens, It's all melted.
Are you okay? Are you mad? Are you sad? I don't know how I feel.
I seem to have A range of emotions, Like that minister In your story.
Father Ken? Yes, father Ken.
Oscar, have you seen Mr.
Madigan? Mr.
Madigan.
It's all melted, True.
I know, but I've got Something that'll cheer you up.
It better not be A two-hour story about nothing, Because I already heard one.
No, it's this.
The recipe for giapello's Pistachio cookie ice cream? Now, you can live past 75, If you want.
This is amazing.
I don't know how to thank you.
Well, you could forgive us For wrecking The air conditioning In the first place.
You wrecked it? Not me, more like Ryan And Jimmy, and then, More like Ryan.
All is forgiven.
Thanks.
And you wanna know What the best part is? I figured out what color To make my winter coat design.
Lulu.
Pistachio green.
It's fantastic.
I've never seen a coat Like this before.
Hello, I'm supposed to take Pictures of A miss Amanda cantwell.
Here I am.
I'm ready for my closeup.
Hey, there's some sort Of tag on the back of your head.
Stop it.
Stop that.
Eew! Huh? Ha.
Is there a problem? Only that you look like Connie Cathead.
What did you say? You know, Valentine Mcdougal's Hilarious best friend, Connie Cathead.
She should be the star Of the show.
That's it! Ohh! She really does not like Connie Cathead.
For real.
You know, It was really nice of you To share your ice cream With us, Mr.
Madigan.
Yes, it's absolutely Delicious.
So good, thanks.
My pleasure.
And thanks for forgiving me For blowing out the system.
Oh, no worries, laserbeam.
In fact, help yourself To a candy bar.
All right.
Hey, there aren't any candy bars Over here.