Ultimate Spider-Man (2011) s02e17 Episode Script

2x17 - Guardians of the Galaxy This is Commander Tana Nile.
I'm losing power.
If this keeps up, I'm not going to make it to Rigel-3.
I'm going to - What the hey? - No! I told you young men video games are for when homework and chores are done.
Oh, Aunt May, we were in the middle of saving the galaxy.
I don't even live here.
Wait.
Do I? Garbage pickup is tomorrow.
It's not gonna take itself out.
Sam? Sam? I have to get better friends.
Garbage.
Now.
Oh, and make sure the lid is shut tight so nothing gets into it.
You know, I'm the world-famous superhero Spider-man.
- What? - Nothing.
I have to be the only superhero who has to do chores.
Oh.
We all have to pitch in and do our part.
With great power comes great garbage shoving.
Huh? Shoo.
Go.
What's your problem, hairless? Come at me again, kid.
I dare you.
Man, this is sure good.
Say what you will about Earth, but Uh, I'm I'm sorry.
Are you talking? Better than you.
Now put the stick down, or the next one goes right up your nose.
You're a laser-gun-packing talking raccoon? Well, it was bound to happen.
I've lost my mind.
Hey, who are you calling a raccoon? Come back here! Ow! Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch! Stop! Whoa, whoa, I know him.
- You know him? - You know him? - This this is my mentor.
- Mentor? Mm.
Fresh, the frosting is in this one.
Master Rocket, what are you doing here? I heard the blaster from across the street.
I told you I'd come find you when we needed you.
- And, kid, we need you.
- So just so we're clear, you do see the talking raccoon too, right? Kid, get your helmet.
We gotta go now.
Where are you going? Hey, whoa, whoa.
What's going on? I'll explain it to you.
If I ever see you again.
Wait, what? You you can't just Where are you going? Hey, wait! Whoo! I am the ruler of the galaxy! Oh what just happened? You idiot.
You complete and total idiot.
- What did I do? - Get him off my ship.
What did I do? - What's happening? - It's the Chitauri.
- We're under attack.
- Suit up, Pete.
It's go time.
Nick Fury, this is Spider-man.
We're under serious attack.
No signal.
What's going on? Well, this is gonna be a bit of a shock, but Wait, is that Earth? Does that mean I'm not on it right now? - What did you drag me into? - Nobody invited you.
- Uh, where did they go? - They're making room.
For what? For that.
Huh? I am Korvac, Ruler of Worlds.
You have incurred my wrath, Guardian.
Surrender or be destroyed.
- Who or what is that? - Eh, don't worry about it.
You have vexed me across the galaxy, Guardian.
Surrender now, or I will Yeah, yeah.
I'm going out there and blowing a hole right through that ship.
- No.
- Wait, you ignore me all the time, but one word from the raccoon and you behave? I'm not a raccoon! Go left! Dodge! Parry! Thrust! You're just saying words.
It's that or scream my head off.
- What now? - Tractor beam.
First, I would like to yell at you for getting me into this mess.
Me? Who told you to come here? You always create some disaster that i have to fight my way out of.
- You always do this.
- Me? Destroy them! Hold on, guys.
We're in the middle of something.
Look, can we get into this after we mop the floor with these guys? Fine, but I'm not done with this by a long shot.
- Fine.
- Fine! Okay, let's do this.
Get them! - No, no, no.
We surrender.
- We do? You dragged me all the way out here to surrender? This is your mentor? Just do what he says.
He's never wrong.
You never told me you lived in outer space - and had another team.
- Oh, really? There was this time my other team fought the Skrulls in the Andromeda galaxy.
Sam, I have a test in, like, five minutes.
You think Dr.
Doom's tough? One time me and the Guardians of the Galaxy were faced with the Do we know when lunch is? Hey, you know I actually used to live in outer space.
Oh, I just took your ship! In your face! I don't remember any of that.
- Now hit 'em! - Wait, what? Wow.
Okay.
High fives, everyone.
Okay.
About this other team? I think you're about to meet them.
The Guardians of the Galaxy.
- What took you so long? - Hey, Nova.
Long time no see.
There's no time to waste.
Let's go.
So, guys, what's our plan? One of us takes one of the Chitauri fighter ships and uses it as a decoy.
We can send the entire fleet into chaos.
And we can get out of here without being blown to bits.
Just us against them? No biggie.
There's got to be someone we can call.
The Chitauri run the entire galaxy.
There's no one else.
It's just us.
You guys seem to have this under control, - so I'm gonna head home, and - If we don't stop these crazies, you ain't gonna have a home to go home to.
No.
They're gonna destroy Earth.
Surrender is no longer an option, Guardians.
Prepare for your end! Ah.
Game over.
Guardians, let's kick some tail.
Dude! Who are these guys? Starlord half earthling, half alien royalty.
Armed with his amazing element gun.
Gamora, widely known as the most dangerous warrior in the universe.
Skilled in the use of every weapon.
Drax the Destroyer loose cannon, great fighter.
Glad he's on our side.
Rocket Raccoon.
Imagine if Wolverine was a master strategist raccoon with a laser gun and a rocket pack.
What did you call me? Ooh, but he's not actually a raccoon.
I mean, his alien species Just happens to look exactly like raccoons.
Mm.
Thank you.
- Who brought the house plant? - That's Groot! - Sorry, did you say "Groot"? - I am Groot.
He is Groot.
Space aliens, starships? This is the coolest day of my life.
What does this Korvac want, exactly? I don't know.
He's a crazy cosmic dictator.
Yah! Uh, this seems like we're overpowered.
We need to call Earth.
We need real heroes.
The Avengers.
I mean, no offense, but this is a raccoon, a green lady, a monster guy, and a twig in a pot.
Oh, please.
Oh, I promise you.
These guys are the You wouldn't know what a real hero looked like if it just saved your butt from Chitauri laser fire.
Yah! Hey, kid, just so you know, if you're a friend of Sam's, you can consider us a friend too.
- Wow.
You guys really love Sam.
- What's not to love? Well We're trapped here.
We'll never make it out of port.
Let's head to the bridge and take the whole ship.
- You're coming with us, twiggy.
- I am Groot.
- Where are the infidels? - I'm looking, sir.
Is this the way to the cafeteria? I'm starving.
Destroy them! Okay, I take back what I said before about you maybe not being real heroes.
Except for the part where you think Nova is awesome, you guys and stick are pretty cool.
Hey.
Huh.
Gamora, can you put this puppy on an automatic collision course with the Sun? We need to destroy this ship before it can destroy Earth.
It would be my pleasure.
Hurry it up before you know who figures out where we Never mind.
I think Korvac figured it out.
You cannot imagine how maddening it is to be distracted by such a motley crew.
Oh, I can imagine.
One time I was trying to study for my biology Destroy them all! I wasn't finished! Guardians, fall back.
Okay, so what's the plan? If we can't crash the ship, we have to take out the cannon.
The dark matter cannon.
If he gets that thing in position, the Earth will be pulled inside out.
Why Earth? We're just minding our own business.
You said it before, kid.
Earth is home to great heroes heroes that are a threat to someone like Korvac.
The Avengers, the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, Captain Marvel, Dr.
Strange, Hulk, Howard the Duck, - Devil Dinosaur.
- And? - Spider-man? - Bottom of the list? - I don't know what to tell you, kid.
- Never mind.
I can take out the cannon.
Good luck, Nova.
We'll distract Korvac.
I'll help.
All my stuff is on Earth.
This time, we do an Earth team maneuver.
- How do we stop it? - Uh, I don't know.
It's sort of like that video game we were playing.
You know, space battle? Except if we don't win - Game over for Earth.
- I know.
- I can stop it.
I know I can.
- It's too risky.
The highest honor to those who bring me the head of the Starlord and his mangy crew.
Mangy? We need to stand and fight.
That's not the plan.
We have to get Nova and Spider-man.
Take the fight to them now.
Yah! - You heard the bug.
- Or we could do this.
I'm sorry, sir.
You can't come in here with a face like that.
People are trying to eat.
Whoa-oh! I'm starting to like this kid.
- Where's Nova? - Oh, no.
The cannon.
We're too late.
Nice ride.
Does it have an ejector seat? Oh, wait.
You are the seat.
How do you go to the potty in that thing? - You! You think me a fool? - Yeah, kinda.
- I am Groot.
- Yeah, I know.
You're Groot.
- I am Groot.
- Dude, I heard you.
Aren't you listening? He's telling you to throw him.
- Who? - Groot! - Throw the stick? That's the plan? - That's always the plan.
I can make it.
Am I aiming for the eye? Are we trying to give him a splinter? - Help me out here.
- Just throw 'em! I am Groot! Yes, you are.
Nooo! Okay, that is Groot.
That's why he's Nova.
- What's happening? - The ship is breaking apart.
It might be time to go.
- What about Nova? - Guardians, let's move.
- Come on, kid.
I know you're out there.
- Scanning for life signs.
- Sam's gone? - Don't give up hope, kid.
Sam! What do we do? Come on.
He's my teammate too.
- Did we win? - Oh, Sam! I take back everything I ever said about you.
That was amazing.
You saved the world.
Crazy good, kid.
I'm proud of you.
This has been epic fun, but, Nova, we have to get home.
Nova, don't you think it's time you come back home to us? Stay.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna stay.
My team needs me.
- Well, I guess this is it then.
- Guess so.
Remember, if you get Earth sick, you have another team that needs you too.
See you, Sam.
That was awesome.
Hey, where's Nova? You guys aren't gonna believe this, but he's left the team.
Did you guys have a fight? No, he has a whole other team up in space.
Did you guys know he lived in outer space? Yeah, he talks about it all the time.
Where have you been? Well, you should have seen him out there.
He was amazing.
He was the ultimate Nova.
And, first of all, his team is wow.
And I don't know what it is, but Sam was just the most heroic, and You said Well, I thought to myself, if the Earth is so important, maybe I should stay here and guard it.
With my team.
I mean, I did save the day.
You saved the day? It was our plan.
- Fury wants to see us.
- Let's go, team.
Isn't that just like you? We do all the work and you take all the credit.
Just admit I'm the coolest super hero you've ever seen.
You're not cooler than Groot.
Okay, you got me there.
I am Groot.
He is Groot.