Big Nate (2022) s02e18 Episode Script

- Hey!
Happy Halloween.
A little heads-up--
this episode's
a bit scarier than usual.
You might want
to grab a parent,
you know, for their protection.
- [whimpering]
- Me?
Yeah, you know,
that "supernatural stuff"
just-- it doesn't
do much for me anymore.
Every time I thought
it was the paranormal,
there was a simple,
albeit strange, explanation.
[whimpering]
[window tapping]
[thunder booms]
Ah!
[stammering]
Very funny, Ellen.
You can come out now.
- [heavy breathing]
- [gulps]
[gasps]
Spitsy?
- [howls]
- [stammering]
Hello?
Who is that?
What do you want?
- Oh, hey, pal.
I hope I didn't wake you.
Would you believe
they didn't have snacks
at Boom Boom's funeral?
- [groans]
Enough years of that
will harden a man.
I may not believe
in ghosts or any
of that other
hocus pocus stuff,
but I do believe in one thing--
- Hey!
- --candy!
And lots of it.
[upbeat music]
- Don't want to go
to school today ♪
The sun is red hot
and I wanna play ♪
But if I get caught
they'll make me pay ♪
Detention again ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Math and social studies
just ain't my thing ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Rocking with my band
is where I'm king ♪
Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test ♪
- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
Big Nate ♪
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
- [over PA]
Happy Halloween, PS 38.
I hope everyone's ready
to get their spook on.
Ooh.
Lunch today is grilled cheese,
pasta salad, and eyeballs.
Real ones.
Sweet.
[slurps]
- Oh, uh, no eyeballs for me.
I'm saving my appetite,
thank you very much.
- Friend Nate!
- Oh, Happy Halloween, Artur.
- Oh, yes, very happy.
Because I am having a very
scary Halloween party.
Will you be participant?
- Oh, no.
Sorry, bud.
I, uh, didn't get an invite.
- Friend Nate!
Ah!
- [screams]
Typical.
- You may not know this, Artur,
but I am the Halloween King,
a title I gave myself for being
awesome at trick or treating.
And this year, I plan on
breaking my personal candy
hoarding record.
- Oh, ho, ho!
Friend Nate, you have much
luck, because at party,
I am serving Stylgravia's
famous Swamp Cat candies.
- [mews, belches]
- How do you say
"no thanks" in Stylgravian?
- Stylgravians have
no word for "no,"
which is why we all sign up
for extended car warranties.
- Sorry, but I can't
sacrifice my Halloween
King title for a--
- Boo!
- Ahh!
[groans]
- [sighs]
- Hey, Teddy.
Can you just--
OK, I gotta get my
science book here.
- [groaning]
- Hey, uh, don't take
it personally, Artur.
It's me, not you.
It's very much you,
but it's really me in a totally
you kind of way, you know?
- [roaring]
- Ah!
I don't deserve this.
I don't deserve this life!
- [chuckles]
[A-ha's "Take On Me"]
- Happy Halloween, kids!
Happy Halloween, parking spot.
Aw, fudge.
I'm flying blind.
Trust your intuition, Wesley.
[loud crash]
What was that?
Huh?
Oh, no!
What have I done?
I've dented
an innocent child's bike!
[grunting]
Clear!
[electricity buzzing]
It's not working!
Ah!
Nobody saw.
Nobody saw, right?
Don't want anyone finding
out about your dark past.
[KT Tunstall's
"Suddenly I See"]
- Suddenly I see ♪
- [screaming]
- Sorry!
Sorry!
Sorry!
Aw, I can't get in
another accident.
The school board said
they'd take away my license.
A principal ruined by scandal!
But only if I'm caught.
[thunder booming]
[grunting]
[tires squealing]
- As you all know, my spinal
fusion surgery went off
without a hitch this weekend.
Achoo!
Ahh!
Ahh!
Just play whatever's on
the learning station.
- And the pencil gets pushed
into the metal bracket that
then inserts into the eraser.
This episode is
brought to you by--
- "Ghost Detectives."
Do you like to chase ghosts?
- Ah!
- Ooh, this is one
of my favorite shows!
- Are spectral
encounters your thing?
- The power of
clown compels you!
Ah!
- Then send a video to
ghostsRreal@ghostproof.truth,
and you could be on TV.
"Ghost Detectives."
- Ghost Detectives not
responsible for skeptics
who anger ghosts
by not acknowledging
spiritual presence.
- And now back
for more pencils.
- Bro, we could be on TV!
We've just got to find
proof of a real-life ghost!
- Aw, sorry, Teddy.
Ghosts don't exist.
Good news, though--
free candy a-does.
And it's all over town
for one night only.
[together]
- One night only!
- Just 'cause you've
never seen a ghost
doesn't mean they don't exist.
Ah!
- I have seen ghost, friends,
at the Johnson House.
Ooh.
[thunder booming]
- The Johnson House?
You mean that creepy
place on the edge of town?
- Yes, super-creepy,
super-haunted.
Ooh.
- Sick!
Oh, this could be our
ticket to filming a ghost!
We could be on TV!
And the Johnson
house is our in!
Oh, that place is haunted.
I heard that one day the
owner was there, and the next,
she was--
[choking]
- But wait, there's more.
They say she died
of a broken heart,
and now her headless
body walks the floors
of the Johnson House
in a never-ending
search for revenge--
and tacos.
- Uh, this story has
some logic holes.
- I say we go tonight!
- Whoa, whoa, tonight?
- What fun.
We are all to go.
I will change my party
plan to accommodate
Friend Nate's schedule!
- Whoa, I am not in if it means
skipping trick or treating.
This is all the candy
I get for the year.
If I miss it, it's goodbye
Choco Chunk Chews and
hello cabbage-stuffed prunes.
Yuck!
I'm not risking it all on what
I know is a bunch of baloney.
- Nate, you are so wrong!
Ghosts are real.
- All right, all right.
I'll risk my night of trick
or treating to prove ghosts
aren't real because if I
win, I get your candy hoard.
- [gasps]
[dreamy music]
- You've been collecting that
candy since the first grade!
Are you prepared
to lose it all?
- Yes, for the cause.
One night at the Johnson
House to prove who's right.
- We call it at 9:00 p.m.
- Come on feel the noise ♪
Girls rock your boys ♪
- Hello, Rackleff.
Happy Halloween.
- Wild wild ♪
[spooky music]
♪
[whispering voices]
[owl hooting]
[crow squawking]
- Whoa, I have goosebumps.
Here, feel.
[ducks squawking]
- Cool.
Yeah, uh, thanks, Kim.
- [grunting]
- Ugh!
- Ah!
- Hmm.
Huh?
Oh!
Ah!
Ugh.
Ugh, place is even
scarier than Nate's house.
[doorbell rings]
[dramatic music]
- Who wants
cabbage-stuffed prunes?
[all screaming]
- [sighs]
- I won't argue about
the scare factor there,
but it has nothing to do with
ghosts, which are not real.
- Whoa, ho, ho.
Get that face ready
to be on TV, bro!
We've got a ghost to catch.
[spooky music]
[door creaking]
- Why did we agree
to this again?
- So Teddy could lose his
lifetime supply of candy to me
and to prove I'm right.
- Oh, we're going to
see who's right, Nate.
- [grunting]
- What are you doing, Francis?
- You know how
much fecal matter
we track on a daily basis?
- Fecal matter is the
least of your problems
in this house, bucko.
[rat chittering]
[water dripping]
♪
[static droning]
- We should travel
light, guys, in case
we have to make a fast exit.
- Weird.
I'm picking something up.
[dramatic sting]
Ah!
- [clears throat]
Bring it on, ghosts!
Make me
Believe ♪
[loud thudding]
- Uh, did anybody
else hear that?
- Oh, stop messing
around, Teddy.
- I didn't do anything.
[footsteps thudding]
[machine beeping]
- Nice.
- [chuckling]
[door creaking]
[children giggling]
- Ahh!
- It's just poorly
insulated drywall
letting a whispery draft in.
- [stammering]
Prove it!
- OK.
See?
Nothing here.
Now let's keep
searching the house.
[door slamming]
- I'm a real ghost.
- [sighs] Time to forget
all about that bike.
Just focus on giving out candy.
Karma will work out the rest.
- A child's
bicycle went missing
today outside of PS 38.
- Oh!
[teeth shattering]
Ah!
- Mayor Klatchko
reassures citizens--
- Bike slayer
loose in Rackleff!
It could be anyone, even you!
- Me?
You can't prove it!
Innocent till proven guilty!
- Ow!
Ow!
- "Student detectives
use social media
"to close in on suspect.
Artist's rendering"?
Ahh!
Keep it together, Wesley.
KIT.
Keep It Together.
Scrub the guilt away.
Scrubby scrub now.
[bicycle bell ringing]
Scrubby scrub scrub.
[thunder booming]
"I know what you fid."
What I "fid"?
What does that mean?
"I know what you did!
'Fid' was a typo."
[glass shattering]
Ahh!
I gotta get rid of this bike.
[thunder booming]
[door slamming]
- [gasps]
[footsteps pattering]
- Eerie sounds
in the Johnson House ♪
Like creaking floorboards,
laughing children ♪
- Muffled screaming ♪
- But I won't admit it ♪
[together]
Come on ♪
- I can't admit it ♪
[together]
Unreal ♪
- Then what was that? ♪
- Leaky pipes ♪
- Oh, yeah, and that? ♪
- I think the wind ♪
- Just admit it ♪
- I can't admit it ♪
- Then what was that? ♪
- Uneven floorboard ♪
- Oh, yeah, and this? ♪
- Somebody's spinal cord ♪
- But there was laughter ♪
- Upstairs tenants ♪
- It's his house, though ♪
- Then the rafters ♪
Guys ♪
I won't admit it ♪
- But there was proof ♪
- A broken roof ♪
- OK, and this?
- Not a ghost, miss ♪
- OK, but that? ♪
- An old pot roast, miss ♪
- But not a ghost?
- Not a ghost ♪
- But did you think
it's a coincidence ♪
When we've got real proof ♪
[together]
Of ghostly incidents? ♪
- I won't admit it ♪
- Nate, please ♪
- It's almost nine ♪
- That candy is mine ♪
- Uh, guys? ♪
- You'll be fine ♪
- It's not that, though ♪
- I won't admit it ♪
- I said not that, though ♪
- All our stuff ♪
[together]
Time to admit it ♪
[screaming]
- [cackling]
- Come on.
Come on.
There's got to be someplace
I can toss this bike.
[tires screeching]
In you go!
Ha!
No.
No, no, no, no!
Ah!
[tires screeching]
Oh, come on!
Why?
[frog croaks]
[insane laughing]
KIT.
Keep It Together.
KIT.
Keep It Together.
[insane laughing]
[mumbles]
[metal rattling]
[faint bicycle bell ringing]
[dramatic music]
[screams]
- I'm sure there's a
logical explanation here.
I mean, stuff goes missing
in my house all the time.
- I got to get my shoes back!
They're medically form-fitted
to my plantar fasciitis.
- Really?
That's what you're
worried about right now?
- Wait, pause it.
Rewind, like, four seconds.
OK, pause.
- Nice.
- Now enhance that image.
Enhance.
Now enhance that.
- I can't enhance it anymore!
- Ugh, this is ridiculous.
- Right there!
- Boom!
Ghost on camera.
Ooh, yeah!
- Seriously?
[laughs]
That?
That could be anything.
- It does appear
to, you know, float.
- It's different
from Stylgravian ghost,
which, in my culture,
is very, very hairy,
like if there was
a bear who was also
lion, who was also my father.
- Back to your room.
- Yeah, I don't know
what to tell you guys,
but ghosts aren't real!
So there's got to be something
around here that caused
a floating orb to show up.
Hmm.
- No way!
We have it on camera, Nate!
It's a ghost!
Just admit that it's real.
I won the bet.
- Yeah, all we have is a lens
flare and a bunch of stuff
that we can't find right now.
- Careful, Nate.
If this ghost is here,
the ghost detectives
said they don't like skeptics.
[whimpering]
- Pfft.
[chittering]
There's the culprit.
OK, ghosts!
If you're here with us,
give us a sign.
Yeah, yeah, please,
we'd love to chat.
Well, then,
I think that just about--
- Uh.
[all gasp]
- [breathing rapidly]
- [gasps]
- That-- that was a
a coincidence.
[together]
Seriously?
- My name is Charles!
[thunder booming]
- Forgive me, Zora,
for I have sinned.
- Sin?
I am very sorry for
you, but you have
come to wrong establishment.
You go now.
- But-- but what am I
going to do about this?
- Ah.
It is like that.
- Yes.
- I will need
payment in advance.
- Take it.
Take it all!
I've got drink
vouchers for Rackleff's
paddleboat rentals--
all-you-can-sip
Shirley Temples!
- OK, I dispose of
body for you now.
- Body?
Zora, I ran over a bicycle.
- Next time, I'm thinking
you lead with this.
This can be taken care of--
off of record, of course--
but listen very carefully.
[thunder booming]
- Uh, we're all
still here, right?
Chad?
- Chad was never here.
- I wasn't?
[all gasping]
- Chad, don't do that!
- Uncool, bro!
- [gasps]
It gets me every time!
Ah!
[loud thumping]
[wind howling]
[all screaming]
- Ah!
[thunder booming]
[all screaming]
- Oh, phones are dead!
- Oh, the 1920s
vintage candlestick
phone doesn't work?
- OK, OK, we got to
make a run for it.
- There's a ghost
in the front yard!
- Uh, we don't know
that's a ghost.
- I am not responding to that!
- Wait a sec!
Remember what the Ghost
Detectives commercial said?
- Right!
"Ghost Detectives are not
responsible for skeptics
who anger ghosts by not
acknowledging their presence."
- If we acknowledge
scary phantasm,
it won't be angry with us.
We will live to be
best friends forever.
- But we all have
to acknowledge it.
Nate?
- Yeah, sure.
Yeah, no, acknowledge it.
Cool.
Or we don't risk
our lives, and we
just dip out the back windows!
- Sounds good to me.
Let's go.
- Alternatively, we ever so
quietly go around the ghost
and go home to hug our parents.
[indistinct chatter]
[thunder booming]
[all gasping]
- What's it doing, Francis?
- How should I know?
- Uncle Pedro told
me about this!
It's making offerings
to its former body.
- Can we go now, please?
- You guys go ahead.
I might stick around and watch.
- Same.
[thunder booming]
- [growling]
- [screaming]
- [growling]
- OK, when I say "now," we
beeline for the same rope
we came in on.
Ready?
- Wait, wait,
where's the ghost?
[thunder booming]
[all screaming]
- Now!
[all screaming]
- [grunting]
- Guys!
Help!
- Huh?
- Help!
- We lost Nate!
- Oh, it's too
late for him now!
He would have
wanted it this way!
- Yeah, I can still hear you,
and I don't want it this way!
- [whimpering]
Ah!
Guys, seriously help!
- You gotta see
the ghost, Nate!
- What are you
even talking about?
I do see it!
It's like 10 feet away.
- No, like,
really see it, believe in it,
acknowledge its presence!
- Aw, you're just
trying to get me
to do that so you win our bet!
[together]
Nate!
- Ugh!
OK, OK, fine!
Please don't hurt me!
I believe in ghosts now, OK?
I believe!
- Hmm?
[together]
Principal Nichols?
- Ruh-roh.
- Nate?
Kids?
What are you all doing here?
- We could ask you
the same question.
- [sobbing]
I didn't mean to do it!
It was an accident!
It was an accident!
[sobbing]
- [gasps]
My special dented bicycle!
- Huh?
I'm-- I'm sorry.
Did you say "dented," as in
your bike was already dented?
- Why, yes.
I receive it in
special Stylgravian
bicycle denting ceremony.
It's every child's
9 and 3/4 of age ritual.
- So you're not
going to report me?
- Oh, of course not.
Oh, I thought it
to be lost forever.
- Zora's apology ritual,
it worked!
Luckily,
she could read Stylgravian.
[all gasping]
- What's he talking
about, Artur?
- Surprise!
Welcome to my Halloween Party!
- Your what?
- This is not haunted
Johnson House.
It's actually
Stylgravian Embassy
that I turn into a terrifying
chamber of horrors for fun.
- Wait a sec.
So this was all you?
- Yes, it is all me.
Very scary, yes?
- The whispers in the vents,
the flickering lights--
all you?
- Yes, me!
Friend Artur!
- The creepy children
in the attic?
- Actually, these
children are leaving here.
They are what you
call squatters.
[children cackling]
- Wow.
Well played, Artur.
I almost believed in
ghosts there for a second.
- Whoa, almost?
You said "I believe."
- That was actually just to get
the ghost to think I believed.
Ha, I mean, obviously.
- Are you kidding?
- Teddy, please, relax.
I'll share some of
your candy with you.
What can I say?
I'm a generous guy.
[The Cure's
"Just Like Heaven"]
- [giggles] I feel so
light and unburdened.
♪
- Best Halloween party ever!
- Well, hey there.
I brought some
cabbage-stuffed prunes.
Where should I put
these bad boys?
- Well, there's no
denying it, Artur.
You are definitely this
year's Halloween King.
- Oh, me?
The king?
- Yeah, yeah,
King of Halloween,
uh, for this year only.
And don't repeat that.
- I am Halloween King!
[foreboding music]
♪
- Can I be your
Halloween Queen?
[all screaming]
- Ahh!
[gasping]
Ahh!
[mirror shatters]
- Suit yourself.
Happy Halloween!
[cackling]
Ow!
[door slams]
[sniffing]
Do I smell tacos?
- And now back
for more pencils.
- There's no thrill like
that of a masterfully built
carbon-based
writing implement,
a tour de force
of human engineering.
I am beside myself
with wonder.
My mere mortal shell
can scarcely contain joy
as I behold the quintessence
of creation,
a simple yet perfect
wooden instrument
with only the eraser's mercy
between it and greatness.